


Bad Company

by SpriceThePrice



Category: Death Sentence (2007)
Genre: Death Sentence, F/M, Love, Megan Fox - Freeform, Romance, billy darley - Freeform, criminals, garrett hedlund - Freeform, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 71
Words: 210,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7683388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpriceThePrice/pseuds/SpriceThePrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hit her for the last time. Being broke, and the black sheep of her family, Amber has no choice but to move to Boston to live with her life long best friend, Christy. This is Amber's only chance to start a whole new chapter in life. Little does Amber know that her best friend has started dating a gang member, Joe Darley... and little does she know that she will find herself caught up with and falling in love with Joe's older brother, the gang leader, Billy Darley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Today is my twenty first birthday and it also just so happens to be the day that I died. Well... let me rephrase that. Today is the day that scared, weak and abused Amber died. Today I turned 21 and I was reborn. Courage had finally set in and I finally left my abusive, soon to be ex boyfriend, Shane. However, be that as it may... leaving Shane wasn't as simple as it sounds.

You see, Shane had forgotten that today was my 21st birthday. So when he came home early to see that a male coworker of mine was on the doorstep of Shane's shitty and small house with flowers in his hand - Shane instantly went into a rage, assuming that I was cheating on him when in reality my boss sent this male coworker of mine to give me flowers from all of my coworkers for my 21st birthday. This was simply a nice gesture from my coworkers and I don't even remember the name of the male coworker who had just dropped the flowers off me. But did Shane believe me? believe that they were just a birthday present from my work and that I wasn't cheating on him? Of course not.

Instead of listening to me and celebrating my birthday with me like a normal couple... Shane was going to kill me.

"I ain't done with you yet!" Shane hollered as he threw me down to the floor before storming out of the bedroom and stomping down the hallway.

A small gasp escaped from my mouth as I landed on my already bruised ribs. Wincing, I pulled my knees to my chest and curled into a ball. The sound of Shane digging through the kitchen drawers instantly made my head jolt up towards the door. Fear coursed through my veins as I had a quick mental discussion with myself to get up and get out of there as fast as I could. Reluctantly, I forced myself to get on all fours and crawl over to the nightstand where I would find Shane's pocket knife in the drawer.

"You fucking whore!" Shane yelled again, this stomping charging down the hallway.

My heart thumped against my chest as I grabbed the knife and pressed the button on the knife, the blade springing out instantly. My head shot in both directions, looking for somewhere to hide before my eyes laid upon the small space behind the bedroom door. Shane's footsteps were getting closer and I had no choice but to move quickly and get behind the bedroom door. Wincing, I laid on my side and waited for the bedroom door to swing open.

"AMBER!" Shane screamed as he flew the bedroom door open. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

A long pause happened as I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and slowly stared up at the back of Shane's body, moving my eyes from the back of his head to all the way down to his left hand that was holding a kitchen knife and then all the way down to his ankles. My eyes landed on the back of his ankle. Knowing I didn't have much time and that Shane was possibly going to kill me, I acted fast. Clamping my eyes shut tight, I swung the blade at the back of Shane's heel, unfortunately missing the ankle and slicing open the back of his calve. It was still enough to make Shane cry out in pain and fall forward, hitting his head against the nightstand as he did so and knocking himself out cold.

I whimpered out in fear as I dropped the bloody blade and jumped up to my feet, running over to Shane's unconscious body. Crouching down beside him, I placed my finger above his nose, making sure that he was still breathing and that he hadn't killed himself. Luckily... well lucky for him, he was in fact still a live, just knocked out cold.

I wasn't going to wait around to see how long he was passed out for. Instead, I stood back up and rushed over to the closet where I grabbed my suitcase and tossed it on the unmade bed before rushing over to the dresser and pulling out whatever clothes of mine that I could find and shoving them into the suitcase. Once my suitcase was full, I stepped over Shane's unconscious body and pulled my cellphone's charger out from the wall and then shoved it into the suitcase before grabbing the suitcase and swinging it carelessly out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry Shane... goodbye." I said dully as I crouched down and pulled Shane's wallet out of his jean's pocket and pulled out what cash he had. quickly I counted the money and sighed in relief, there was enough to get me a bus ticket to get out of town and head to the only place that I knew I could go as I've been talking about it forever but never did as I was always to afraid to leave Shane.. until today.

Currently I'm on the greyhound bus, staring out the window at the outskirts of the city of Boston, squinting as the light from the morning sunrise was shining directly in my eyes. The sound of Kenny Loggin's "Highway to the Danger zone" echoed through my earphones as I sighed, slouching back in my seat and pulling my phone out to text my best friend, Christy. Christy moved to Boston a year ago, around the time I first started dating Shane. She knew from the get go that there was something off about Shane, his temper, his everything... but I was too blind to see it... until the abuse started. Naturally, I told Christy immediately. She's been trying to convince me to leave him and move here to Boston with her ever since. Now, I finally am.

Why didn't I leave before? Where would I go? Beside's Christy's? I'm the black sheep of my family... the middle child. They haven't even called me to see how I've been for months. Some "family". The only family I consider myself having is Christy.

Well... here I am. Boston.  



	2. Chapter 1

The sound of loud music thumping throughout mine and Christy's apartment woke me up in an abrupt manner. Since I had arrived in Boston at sunrise this morning, I spent literally my whole morning sleeping when I should have been out looking for a job. Yawning, I reluctantly sat up on my elbows and looked over at the nightstand beside my tiny single bed. 12:30 pm. Groaning, I pushed my blankets off of me and swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stretched as I yawned once more.

"Christy?" I called out.

My bedroom door swung open and the music that was blasted throughout the apartment suddenly became louder as Christy stood in my doorway, holding onto the door frame with one hand and the doorknob with her other hand. Her long dark brown hair appeared to be freshly dyed and the sides of her head were shaved but since her hair was down and not up in her infamous long hawk-pony tail, she just looked funny.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." Christy greeted sarcastically.

I snickered, "Morning, skrillex."

"Fuck off." Christy giggled, "It'll look better once I style it." She reassured me.

"I sure hope so." I giggled, standing up and staggering over to my purse, grabbing my pack of cigarettes and pulling one out of the pack before tossing the smoke pack back in my purse and staggering like a zombie back over to my bed.

"I tried to cook lunch... but... since I ain't about that life... I accidentally added too much salt and pepper that I can hear the food singing 'push it', literally." Christy stated sarcastically, a smirk across her face as she plopped down on my bed beside me, handing me the ashtray from my nightstand and placing it in between us on the bed.

"Hmmm..." I mumbled as I lit the end of my cigarette and inhaled deeply, making the end of the cigarette turn red as I sucked back. "-That almost sounds delicious at this point. I'm fucking starving." I complained.

"Well, you can eat some of whatever it is I attempted to make... or you could eat at the bar tonight." Christy replied as she laid down on my bed and yawned.

"Bar?" I asked looking over at Christy and cocking an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, the bar I work at. Figured you could use some drinks after finally leaving fuck face. Consider this your belated birthday celebration." Christy said as she reached out for my cigarette so that she could have a drag.

I shrugged, "Yeah, why not?" I agreed dully.

"Amber..." Christy sighed, "Cheer the fuck up, seriously. You're never like this... Fuck Shane, he ain't ever going to hurt you again. I promise."

I flashed her a weak smile as she handed me back my cigarette, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She replied firmly. "My boyfriend and his friends would deal with him right away if he ever came here looking for you."

"Speaking of which... when do I get to meet this infamous Joe character you've been telling me about?" I asked, putting my cigarette out in the ashtray and setting the ashtray back on the nightstand.

"He stopped by earlier but your ass was out like a lamp. So you'll meet him tonight at The Four Roses." Christy stated, sitting up and yawning yet once again.

"Four Roses?" I asked confirming the name of the bar that I would be meeting her at later tonight.

Christy nodded, "Four Roses."

"Alright. I'll text you this evening and we can meet there if you're not home when I get back." I said as I walked over to my suitcase, opening it and finding some clean clothes to wear after my shower that I planned to have in the next few minutes.

"Where are you going?" Christy asked curiously.

"Shower" I replied, being a smart ass. Christy clicked her jaw as she rolled her eyes at my response. Sighing, I decided to answer her question correctly. "I'm going to go find myself a job."

"Dude... come work with me at the bar. I can have you hired on at the snap of my fingers." Christy said as she snapped her fingers.

"...Yeah... no." I replied instantly, knowing that I'd do terrible as a waitress or bartender as I hate people, I'm sarcastic and cynical, people piss me off... etc, etc, I could go on forever.

Christy shrugged as she walked over to the door, pausing and staring back at me over her shoulder, "The offer is there if you want it. I'll see you later tonight."

"Try not to be a mopey son of a bitch tonight either, alright? Cheer the fuck up and be the fun, smart ass Amber that you usually are."

"Yeah, how awful of me for being a little off after my ex boyfriend was probably going to kill me last night. God, I'm fucking horrible." I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"But did you die?" Christy asked with a shit eating grin across her face.

I raised my middle finger up in her direction and narrowed my eyes into a glare, "I'll be good after a few beers. Now go fix your hair... you look like a fuckin' warrior about to go to battle."

Christy scoffed, "And there she is... the Amber I know and love has finally graced me with her true self."

About time...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

The warm summer sun shined brightly making me grateful that I remembered to wear my aviator sunglasses as I made my way through the crowded and busy streets of Boston, looking for a job. Being from a small town that I was, I wasn't use to this many people making their way along the streets. Every time I accidentally bumped in to someone or had them bump into me I apologized but never received an apology back, instead just a glare or weird look.

A help wanted sign that was placed against the window of what appeared to be a fancy clothing store - caught my eye almost instantly. Sighing in relief, I pulled out one of my resume from my purse and made my way over to the store. Before pulling the glass door open, I placed my sunglasses on top of my head and walked in with my head held high and a huge warming smile across my face.

"May I help you?" One of the girls asked me.

She was wearing black business pants, a black button up shirt and black three inch high heels. Her sandy blonde hair was curled in loose waves and her lips were painted red and her face was contoured perfectly. She looked to be about my age but was definitely a lot more mature looking than me. I was wearing a pair of jean shorts, a black tank top and a black bandanna wrapped around my head, almost like tupac but mine was more like a pin up style. My hair was straightened and the only makeup I had on was smokey, dark eye shadow. It was hot out... it's July after all. Safe to say I feel out of place and I shouldn't be here right now.

"May I help you?" She asked again, awakening me from my thoughts.

"Yes, sorry." I laughed softly as I handed her my resume. "My name is Amber, I noticed your help wanted sign in the window and figured since I've been working retail since I graduated that I would give you a resume." I explained with a smile.

The girl stared down at my resume and then back up at me and then back down at my resume, "I see..."

I nodded, still smiling and unaware that she was judging me. It wasn't until I caught her staring at my right arm, looking at my sleeve of tattoo outlines. I hated colored tattoos, it wasn't my thing, so my sleeve has absolutely no color in it. I started to feel even more uncomfortable as another girl who worked here came over to us and stood beside the blonde.

"Is everything okay here?" She asked the blonde saleswoman who was holding my resume.

"She's looking to apply here..." The blonde said, clearly biting the inside of her cheek, trying not to giggle as she spoke. She handed the other saleswoman my resume and I sighed loudly as I watched her eyes scan through my resume so fast that I doubt she even bothered to read any of it.

"We're not hiring." The second saleswoman declared, handing me back my resume.

Confusion struck me as I scrunched m brows at them and looked back over at the help wanted sign in the window of the store. I nodded my head as I slowly turned back around to face the two saleswomen, putting two and two together that they were in fact hiring... they just weren't going to bother hiring me as I was caked up in makeup and clearly wasn't the type to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.

"Try a bar or something. You'll fit in." the blonde stated, taking a jab at me.

"Yeah, I think hooters down the street is hiring." the other saleswoman snickered.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I tucked my resume back inside my purse and turned to leave the store but stopped right before I opened the door, my hands placed on the handle of the door as I slowly turned back and faced the two girls, a huge grin across my face.

"All that makeup and you're both still ugly on the inside. Real shame." I stated loudly, making a few customers who were listening and watching our conversation, laugh out loud as I stormed out of the store.

This is already turning out to be unsuccessful...

After a few hours of walking around and handing out resumes, my phone vibrated. Sighing, I pulled my phone out of my purse and read Christy's text. I sat down on a bench in a park, reading Christy's text message she had sent me that asked how job hunting was going. Groaning, I texted her back and said 'awful, what doin?'. My phone started to ring seconds after I sent my reply to Christy.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Get your ass to the Four Roses, my boss said he will hire you on the spot, one of our waitresses is out on a drug binge and we need someone to cover her shift tonight. Actually.. the sooner you can get here, the better. Call a taxi and get here." Christy exclaimed.

Judging by the loud music, people talking and glasses clanging around in the background, I could tell that Christy was swamped at work and judging by how unsuccessful my job hunt went this afternoon, I might as well take what I can get.

"I'll be there." I replied reluctantly.

I didn't want to work at a bar... but looks like this is the only choice I've got.

Sure as shit, Christy was right. As soon as I arrived at the Four Roses, I was hired on the spot and literally was told to get to work. Christy has been working here for the past year so she showed me the basics as my boss seemed to be kind of a dick who just liked to bark orders. However, he did help me and the other bartender during our busy rush while Christy and the two other waitresses, Amanda and Ramona. Both seem to be cool girls, I guess. I don't know, only Ramona has talked to me.

"Keeping busy?" Christy asked as she walked behind the bar where I was, doodling on a napkin out of boredom now that the bar started to slow down.

I grunted, "Not really."

"You did good tonight. I think you even impressed Sammy.. which is a rare and hard thing to do unless he wants to fuck you." Christy said as she placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

I sneered in disgust, "Yeah... I'd rather swim in caustic acid."

Both Ramona and Christy chuckled at my comment. Amanda, who was making drinks and making small talk with the few men who sat along the bar - even laughed from where she was standing.

"Oh look, Christy... your stud muffin and his boys just arrived." Amanda announced, pointing over at the door where a scrawny but tall brown haired kid with a neck tattoo and a red leather jacket walked in followed by eight other guys. Tribal tattoos were along their arms, necks, chests and one even had a tribal symbol on the side of his face. An eerie feeling crept inside of me as I watched them all walk over to two tables and shove them together. This guys were clearly drug dealers. All of them had shaved heads or bald heads, tribal tattoos, and were tough looking that told me they were all in gang.

"Joe!" Christy squealed, setting her drink tray down along the bar and running out from behind the bar over to the table where the group of 8 men had just sat down at.

Joe? as in...Joe... her boyfriend Joe? What the hell?

"Hey Billy!" A drunk man at the bar called out.

"Hey Billy!" Both Ramona and Amanda chimed sweetly.

"Yo Billy, we ordered drinks. Christy said that Sammy said our drinks are on the house tonight!" An unfamiliar male's voice shouted across the bar, making me raise my head up in the direction of the table the 8 men and Christy were at.

My eyes scanned from them over to the bar entrance, my mouth slightly hanging open as I noticed a man in his mid 20's walking inside of the bar and over to the table where the 8 other guys were at. He glanced at me for a moment as he walked past the bar. My eyes couldn't seem to move from staring at him, watching him sitting at the end of the table with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. His hair was shaved off and he had a goatee for facial hair, piercing blue eyes and tribal tattoos up his arms and up the sides of his neck.. He was incredibly handsome and I couldn't help but stare at him.

"See something you like? Amanda asked making me blush and look away from the direction the table was in.

"Huh? No." I replied shortly.

"My brother is the one with spikey blonde hair, his name's Baggy..." She stated randomly. "He's cool shit... you'll be dealing with him lots so I figured I'd tell you who he was before he starts to hit on you." She added.

"Him and Joe are the only ones with hair. The black guy is Bodie, the one with the tattoo on his face is Spink, the bald high looking one is Heco, the other bald one with broad shoulders is Jamie, the weak looking one is Tommy and the quiet one with the hat on is 'Dog'." Amanda explained.

"Oh, and that not so hot, tall skinny guy that Christy is all over... is Joe." Amanda added, nodding over at the guy Christy was kissing like she had never kissed before.

"That's her boyfriend?" I questioned with a shrug. I wasn't one to judge. Especially knowing that he made her as happy as she seems to be.

"Yup... He's Billy's little brother." Amanda replied dully.

"Billy? Who's Billy? And who's the guy on the end? Is he allowed to be smoking in here?" I asked nodding over at the guy that I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of since he's walked in.

"That's Billy... and trust me when I say, that it's not a good idea to tell him what he can or can't do... especially in here." Amanda answered before walking over to the other end of the bar to serve a customer another beer.

So Christy is dating the brother of this guy who's intrigued me...


	3. Chapter 2

"Amber!" Sammy roared from inside his office.

Clicking my jaw and rolling my eyes, I sat the glass mug I was drying down behind the bar and sighed deeply as I made my way out from behind the bar and through the busy bar over to Sammy's office. All I wanted was for this shift to come to an end so I could go get stupid drunk with Christy and forget the past couple of days. Instead of helping Amanda and Ramona clean up, here I am, leaning against the door frame of Sammy's office, watching him snort lines of cocaine off of a small glass mirror placed carefully on his desk.

Christy had spent basically the whole night clinging to Joe, not doing any work besides getting up to get Joe and the other 9 men more beer or more shots throughout the night. I wasn't pissed off though, her lack of caring about the other customers only made me even more busier which in the long run, I ended up making most of the tips since Ramona was the bartender tonight and Amanda is the waitress when my shift ends in fifteen minutes. But since Christy's been doing nothing except fucking around, Amanda has been helping me.

"Yes?" I asked in annoyance.

Sammy snorted hard, tilting his head back and sighing in relief before looking over at me, staring me up and down, a sly smirk forming across his lips as he slowly nodded. I've never had a boss snort cocaine in his office in front of one of his employees before. But given the fact that the bar itself was located in inner city Boston, a rougher, poorer part of the city... it was something I guess I should have expected. Christy had already gave me the heads up about the neighborhood and how dangerous it apparently really was and to make sure all of the locks on the door to our apartment were always locked at all times and that I wasn't out of the balcony late at night, since we were on the first floor, at least not without a weapon or without somebody with me.

"Have a seat." He insisted, pointing at the chair in front of his desk.

Reluctantly, I stood tall and walked over to the chair, plopping down and folding my arms over my chest. Sammy tapped out a small amount of cocaine from a little clear baggy onto the mirror and held up a rolled dollar bill that he had been using as a straw to snort his cocaine with.

"Want a line?" He asked, staring up at me with bloodshot eyes.

I shook my head to the side, "No thanks... I have to get back out there and help Amanda..."

"You sure? Christy tells me you've been through quite the shit the past couple of days. Do a line or two, be somebody baby." He trailed off before snorting another line off the glass mirror.

Lovely, Christy told this fuck about my past...

Sammy sat back up in his seat using his thumb to wipe away any powder around his nostrils as he sniffled a little, "Ramona tells me that the tip jar is pretty full tonight. Don't be sad, that's a good start for you."

"Kind of hard to be sad about anything when you're too busy being a fucking champion." I stated snidely referring to the fact that I made a shit load of tips tonight.

"Yeah? well let me tell you how it works around here... new comers don't get tips." Sammy stated a matter of fact like.

I scoffed, "What the fuck do you mean?" I hissed.

"It's how I do business. Don't like it? get the fuck outta here. Too bad you have no choice but to deal with it, huh?" Sammy taunted wheeling his computer chair over to the wall where a pin-up girl calendar hung.

"You see this? Do you see it?" He asked pointing at the the calendar.

"Yes...?" I asked in confusion and slight annoyance dripping from my tone.

"Good. Do you see these blue circles around the dates? Those are the days you're scheduled to work." He explained pointing at the calendar and then staring back over at me.

I shrugged, "Okay?..."

"You wanna make those tips and be able to bring home those tips?" he questioned in a low tone. "Then you gotta fucking earn those tips! Work these fucking days and you'll get those tips" His tone changed, becoming angry as he scribbled over the blue circle that indicated what days I worked.

"You work for me, you fucking work for me. You do as I say, when I say or you can go the fuck back to wherever the fuck it was you came from and starve." He laughed hysterically before spinning around in his chair and throwing the marker down on his desk.

I closed my eyes as I sighed in disbelief. This was my first night working here and I'm already getting fucked out of my own cash that I earned. I folded my arms and pressed my tongue against my cheek as I tried to keep my cool and not walk out of this shitty bar right now. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't just up and quit as Christy and I were strapped for money and since I just moved here... I need the money more now than ever before.

"This is bullshit..." I grumbled out loud.

Sammy's eyes widened at what I had just said.

"Looks like you're not working at all this weekend! You can thank your fucking american woman mouth for that! Now get out of my sight before I send you to clean the fucking toilets!" He shouted at me as he stood up and shooed me out of his office. "Go see if Amanda or Ramona have anything for you to do before your shift ends!" He added before slamming the door to his office shut behind me.

"Fucking asshole!" I mumbled out loud as I stormed through the bar, past the table with the group of nine men and Christy sitting at it.

I hadn't noticed that they were all staring at me as I made my way over to behind the bar where Ramona was pouring shots and placing them on a tray for Amanda. I picked up a dish towel and started to dry beer mugs as I tried to calm myself down from what just happened in Sammy's office. Ramona chuckled to herself as she stared over at me.

"He's quite the asshole, isn't he?" She asked, finally speaking.

"Ha." I laughed shortly, "That's an understatement."

Ramona leaned against the bar, inches away from me and folded her arms, "I bet if you went in there and batted your eyelashes at him, made him think that you'd be willing to sleep with his disgusting ass... I could almost guarantee that you would have got your tips tonight and then some."

"Or.. I could bring a baseball bat in his office and I can almost guarantee that I would come back with my tips." I retorted as sighed loudly.

"Did he cut you down on hours?" Ramona asked dully.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Yeah, how did you know?" I asked suspiciously.

"Because he does this to me at least once every week... he's a real prize." Ramona replied sarcastically.

"I gathered that..." I grumbled.

"I'm off all weekend now... which sucks because I need the money." I added, running my fingers through my hair and exhaling a deep breathe I had just inhaled.

"Look on the bright side, you get the weekend off and your shift is over." Ramona replied as she placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

I gave her a weak smile as I stared up at the clock noticing that she was right and my shift had in fact just ended. Thank God. Ramona pulled her hand back and walked over to the tray of shots of whiskey she had just poured moments before. Amanda groaned as she stomped behind the bar and slammed her empty tray down on the bar.

"Take this tray of shots over to your brothers table." Ramona instructed to Amanda.

Amanda sighed, "I really need to have a cigarette before I take over... Amber, can you do it for me?" Amanda asked as she pouted her lip and relaxed her shoulders.

"Hurry up and go have your cancer stick. Amber, take the tray of shots over to that table and tell Christy thanks a lot for not helping whatsoever tonight." Ramona said, shaking her head in disbelief over at Christy.

"Amber!" Christy called out from the table she was sitting at, well, sitting on Joe's lap at. "You're off shift, get your fine self over here and have a drink with me!" She called out again.

My heart sunk as Billy stared up in my direction making me become nervous and too shy to go over to the table. But before I could even think, say or do anything, Sammy flew out of his office and started shouting at me again. "Amber! Quit fucking around!"

"She's not, she's actually off work now and she's doing me and Amanda a favor so shut your ass up and calm down." Ramona shouted back at Sammy as she winked at me. I smirked, knowing that she had just told Sammy off for me.

"Thank you" I mouthed to Ramona who just smiled at me and nodded.

"Mmm...hmm..." Sammy mumbled suspiciously as his eyes shifted from me over to Ramona who was looking at him like 'try and say something to me right now... see what happens' eyes.

"What are you looking at?!" Sammy hissed at me. "Quit standing there like a stunned broad and get those shots to that table! Now!" He hollered making the whole bar stare over at me.

My face turned beat red in embarrassment as Amanda handed me the drink tray with shooter glasses full of what smelt like and looked like whiskey. Now I was annoyed and having a super hard time not throwing this drink tray at Sammy's head and walking out on him. Instead, I kept my cool and made my way over to the table of men, drink tray in my hand and an annoyed look on my face.

"Here's your round of shots..." I mumbled carelessly as I sat the tray down on the table and waited for all of the men to grab a shot glass off of the tray.

"Got a name, baby?" Amanda's brother 'Baggy' asked.

What kind of fucking name is Baggy?

"Well, yeah." I replied in an obvious tone.

"It's Amber... remember? Christy just called for her." Joe, Christy's boyfriend answered Baggy's question.

"Do you guys want anything else?" I asked looking at the rest of the men.

They all shook their head 'no' as Billy remained silent and threw back the shot of whiskey and placing the now empty shot glass back on my tray. He glanced up at me as he pulled out a cigarette from his pack and placed one between his lips, lighting it and inhaling deeply all while still staring at me, making me even more nervous than I already was.

"You coming home with me tonight?" Baggy asked with a wink. "Invite you over for some fun" He added.

"Can't, I'm going to be busy shitting in my own mouth." I replied sarcastically as I grabbed the empty drink tray and turned to walk away. I was in no mood to deal with drunk pigs right now. I could hear the rest of the guys laughing and snickering at how I just told Baggy off.

"Fucking bitch." Baggy mumbled.

Slowly, I turned back around and stared at Baggy in shock.

"You got a problem, backpack?" I asked, mocking his name and making Joe choke on his drink from laughter. Some of the other guys 'oo'ed' while Billy smirked, staring down at the ashtray as he flicked his cigarette ash in it.

"No? good, then shut the fuck up." I hissed before staring over at Christy who was laughing her drunk ass off. I pressed my tongue against my cheek and rolled my eyes, "Drunk?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm fine!" Christy tried to reassure me as she almost fell off of Joe.

I rolled my eyes, "Clearly."

"Amby... have a drinky with me!" She begged in a whiny tone.

Joe pulled out his cellphone that had just vibrated and read the text he had just received. Christy burped as she leaned her head down and stared at Joe's phone screen. Joe frowned, knowing that Christy was about to pull her shit and flip.

"Who the fuck is texting you?" She asked angrily.

"Does it matter?" Joe asked clearly annoyed.

"If it's that fake blonde bitch texting you again and I catch you texting her back... I will punch your lights out!" Christy threatened, climbing off of Joe and tripping, falling down to the floor.

"Jesus Christ..." I mumbled crouching down and pulling Christy back up to her feet. "Alright... time to go. Let's go Buck Rogers." I added, struggling to hold her up as she was flailing around.

"No!" Christy exclaimed, yanking her arm out of my grasp and sitting back down. "Sit down and have a fucking drink with me!" Christy exclaimed, grabbing a shot and throwing it back.

"Yeah, sit down, you can sit on my lap." Heco insisted, winking at me.

I shot him a glare and laughed in disbelief as I turned and looked at Ramona who was still standing behind the bar, "Can you call us a cab please?" I asked. Ramona nodded and walked over to the phone that was hanging on the wall and proceeding to call Christy and I a taxi cab.

"God, you're such a buzz kill." Christy growled up at me.

"Yeah, sit down and stay a while." Heco joined in, grabbing at my waist, trying to pull me down on his lap.

I sneered at him as I grabbed his wrists and roughly shoved his hands off of me. Billy's jaw tightened as she now stared over at Heco who had just grabbed me again, this time pulling me down on his lap. I gritted my teeth and elbowed him roughly in the stomach before standing back up but before I could walk away, Heco grabbed my arm again and tried to pull me back down.

"Let me the fuck go." I hissed at him.

"Come on Amber, what's your problem? Loosen up." Heco laughed, pulling me back down again.

"I don't think she wants to sit on you or anything to do with you, dog." Bodie finally spoke.

"Let me the fuck go!" I shouted this time, shoving myself off of him and fighting to get away from the table.

"Here, have a drink!" Heco exclaimed, wrapping his arm around my waist so that I couldn't move as he pushed a glass of whiskey over to in front of me on the table.

"Let me g-" I started but was cut off.

"Enough." Billy barked at Heco, firmly.

Heco instantly let me go and his expression dropped. I jumped back up and growled in disgust before staring down at Christy and narrowing my eyes into a cold hard glare at her. Billy slowly stood up next to me, towering over me as he stood about 6'2 and I stood maybe 5'6-5'7. Billy smirked as he put on his leather jacket and fixed the collar before lowering his lips down towards the side of my face, inches away from my ear.

"Get her home." He said coolly in a low tone, sending shivers up and down my spine as his warm breathe tickled my skin.

"Come on, let's get some fuckin' work done tonight." Billy said to the rest of his boys, nodding towards the door.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, I just stood there stunned, watching as Billy casually walked towards the bar doors. Once him and his gang were out of the Four Roses, I dragged Christy outside and lit a cigarette as we waited for our cab to arrive.

"I think I'm going to be sick..." Christy moaned.

"It's two in the morning." I stated randomly.

"So?" Christy asked in annoyance.

"Billy said they had work to do... what kind of work is it that your boyfriend Joe and his brother do?" I asked suspiciously, already knowing the answer deep down.

"They sell fucking bibles, Amber. What do you think." Christy snapped in a sarcastic manner.

I rolled my eyes and ignored her comment, staying silent for the rest of the wait. Finally the taxi came and I shoved Christy inside the backseat of the taxi cab before the cab proceeded to take us home. By the time we made it home, Christy had already passed out. Which partially sucked for me as that meant I had to drag her/carry her inside the apartment and put her drunk as to bed but was also nice as she was passed out and could no longer annoy me.

Once we were inside of our apartment, I struggled to hold Christy up as I locked the door behind us and then untied Christy's converse shoes and carelessly tossed them onto the shoe rack. Sighing, I wrapped her arm around the back of my neck and wrapped my one arm around her back and dragged her into her room where I then tucked her into her bed followed by going into the kitchen and getting her a glass of water which I then left on her nightstand beside her bed where a bottle of Advil already was placed.

"Amber..." Christy called out in a groan.

I closed my eyes and sighed, stopping dead in my tracks before turning around and placing a fake smile across my face.

"Yes?" I asked in a fake cheerful tone.

Bria groaned again before speaking, "There's a lot that I have to explain to you in the morning..."

Lovely...

"Get some sleep..." I said dully before leaving her room.


	4. Chapter 3

The next morning I awoke to the sound of someone walking around in the kitchen. Given the fact that Christy was as drunk as she was last night, I knew it couldn't have been her. Curiosity got the best of me as I sat up in bed and groaned, I did not want to be awake yet. But, I forced myself out of bed and slowly opened my bedroom door before tip toeing my way to the kitchen.

Joe was leaning against the counter in the kitchen startling me as I wasn't aware that he was here. I noticed he was on the phone arguing with someone making me jumped back and behind the wall. I scoffed in disgust as I peered my head around the corner, watching as Joe, who's back was facing my direction, was ashing his cigarette in our kitchen sink.

"Billy, calm the fuck down man... I told Heco to run my corner last night. It ain't my fault that he got too high to do so." Joe spoke calmly in to his cell phone. "Look... I'll be there as soon as I can get there. I'm sorry bro." Joe added before pulling his phone away from his ear to see that Billy had hung up on him. "...Fuck" Joe mumbled under his breathe as he ran a hand through his hair and turning around to notice me standing there.

Tension built up between the two of us as our eye contact with one another locked. Joe's eyes followed my every move as I brushed past him and grabbed my purse off of the counter top. Joe obviously now knew that I had overheard his phone call with his brother, Billy. Joe clenched his jaw as he was clearly stressed out from both the phone call with Billy and me, who he barely knows, overhearing his phone conversation. Peeling back the plastic off the cigarette package, I pulled out a cigarette from the pack and placed a cigarette in between my lips. Joe's eyes immediately fell back on me as I lit the end of my cigarette and inhaled a drag.

"In a hurry?" I asked as I exhaled smoke out of my mouth and in Joe's direction.

Joe scratched the side of his neck before answering me, "Yeah... I'll catch you guys later." Joe replied.

I waited to hear the front door slam shut behind Joe before I did anything.

"Christy!" I called out.

\------------------------------------------------------

"A gang?! A fucking gang, Christy?!" I shouted trying to take in what Christy had just told me about Joe.

"Nothing too serious... just you know... the typical drug dealing related gang..." Christy added calmly with a shrug.

"What the fuck dude!" I exclaimed throwing my hands up. "I came here to start new! Start a fresh and GOOD chapter in my life!"

"Calm down..." Christy said dully.

"So wait, Billy is the gang leader?" I asked before sitting down on my bed next to Christy who nodded her head up and down to my question. "...So all those men who were sitting at that table with Billy... were his boys? as in... his gang?" I asked.

"...Christy you have to be fucking kidding me..." I said as I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Look... I love Joe... he'd never put me in harms way." Christy reassured me. "So calm your skinny little white ass down." Christy added jokingly.

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped as I chuckled at what Christy had just said. "Bitch, you're white too, little miss trap queen wanna-be."

"You're a bitch." Christy replied with a smirk. "Get dressed, I'm gonna call a taxi to take us to work."

"If you wouldn't have been glued to Joe last night, you would have known that Sammy took me off the schedule this weekend. I ain't going anywhere." I stated dully, staring down at my lap as I spoke.

Christy looked around nervously as she ran her fingers through her hair, "Amber... I'll call in sick.. I don't think I should-"

"Leave me alone?" I asked, finishing her sentence.

"It's just... what if Shane..." Christy trailed off.

"Christy, he's not going to come looking for me. Besides even if he did. He'd never find us. You also said if he ever did, your boy toy would lay the boots to him." I reassured her.

Christy laughed faintly, "Or something like that..."

I went silent now that I know Joe is in a gang. Deep down, I figured it out last night without Christy even having to explain anything. I gathered enough information from Ramona and hearing Billy tell his boys last night that they had work to do at 2 in the morning? Yeah... I suspected that they were drug dealers. But a gang? as in what... just a drug dealing gang or worse? Let's hope not.

"Well... I'm kind of feeling like some nachos and a beer. Maybe I'll come with you and chill until you're off. If it really makes you feel better." I suggested.

Christy shrugged, "If you feel like hanging around there for that long then sure why not. Oh by the way, I make the best nachos."

"Says the chick who fucked up whatever it was you tried making last time..." I chuckled.

Christy glared at me, "You'll see. Go get dressed!"

 

Once we got to the Four Roses, Christy went behind the bar to actually work for once. While Amanda did all of the serving since the bar was pretty dead tonight. Ramona had just got off shift when Christy and I arrived but she decided to stick around and hang out with me for awhile after I told her my story about Shane and why Christy didn't feel comfortable with me staying at the apartment by myself. Christy was the bartender tonight AND making the couple of rare food orders that were placed tonight. Ramona decided and insisted that I needed a night to get completely plastered so here we were... waiting for Christy to make our nachos and drinking shots of Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey.

Eventually after what seemed like an hour, Christy returned from the kitchen with a plate of nachos in her hands. She set it down on the bar in front of us and nodded at the plate of nachos. Everything appeared to look alright... which was strange considering Christy can't cook worth shit. Ramona stared down at the plate of nachos and made a disgusted face as she shook her head and waved her hand towards Christy.

"Yeah... as tempting as that looks... I ain't risking food poisoning. Thanks though." Ramona chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me as I took a nacho and ripped it apart from the stack and took a bite.

A smug smile formed on Christy's face as she watched my reaction. Ramona's eyes widened, surprised that something Christy cooked appeared to actually be tasty. Unless I was just drunk and craving nachos. I might regret this in the morning... or with my stomach and tolerance for cheese mixed with whiskey.. this could be all over the parking lot in the next few minutes.

"I'm not going to lie-" I started, swallowing my food before continuing, "-these are actually bomb."

Christy smirked, "I told you."

Ramona shook her head in disbelief as she motioned Christy to pour her and I another shot of whiskey, "What are you waiting for? Christmas? Pour us another round."

"Fuck off.." Christy mumbled as she poured us our shots.

Ramona winked at Christy as she held up her shot glass and turned on her bar stool and stared at me, "To new beginnings."

I held up my glass, "Cheers."

We both threw back our shots and I gasped as the whiskey burnt the back of my throat on its way down. I wiped my mouth off and went back to mowing down on my nachos. Ramona and I spent the next few hours getting hammered, so hammered that neither of us had noticed Joe and the rest of Billy's gang coming into the bar and sitting at their beloved two tables shoved together.

"What the fuck are we listening to?" Ramona asked, laughing hysterically at the song playing.

"Hot Legs" by Rod Stewart echoed throughout the bar. Christy and Amanda shrugged at Ramona's question. Christy didn't say anything, she just started placing beer bottles and shot's of whiskey on Amanda's drink tray. I snorted in laughter as I threw back another shot of whiskey. I was so drunk at this point that I hadn't even really noticed the familiar song. I bobbed my head along to the music, almost falling off of my bar stool as I did so.

"I'll cut you off." Christy warned.

I rolled my eyes, "No!" I exclaimed, snorting again as I began to giggle.

"You know!" I started, waving my finger at Ramona. "They use to call me hot legs because of this song." I stated firmly.

Christy cocked an eyebrow at me, "What?"

"I'm just fucking with ya!" I exclaimed "I'm drunk... what's up."

"I can see that." Christy replied, slightly shaking her head.

Ramona pushed herself up and off of her bar stool, staggering and almost losing her balance as she covered her mouth and hiccuped. A giggle escaped my lips as I too jumped up and struggled to keep myself from falling over as I was now drunk as hell. Amanda who looked overwhelmed and exhausted rushed over to Ramona and stared at her with pleading eyes.

"I really, really... really need a cigarette. Can you please cover for me for like 10 minutes? Please?" Amanda begged.

Ramona sighed deeply. "Fine. Go out the back though so Sammy thinks you're in the backroom and not out on break."

Amanda nodded before squealing in excitement. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Amanda then took off and made her way through the bar over towards the backroom where the backdoor was. As I watched her leave that's when I finally noticed Christy's boyfriend Joe and the table full of his brothers gang. An eerie, uncomfortable feeling took over me as I studied all of them. They were all heavily tattooed. Mostly tribal, much like Billy's but if I had to choose, I'd say Billy's tattoos tribal art was the nicest out of all nine of them.

Something inside of me found me searching for Billy, noticing that he wasn't at the table with the other 8 men. I almost had a feeling of disappointment for a moment until I realized that he's a gang leader. A good looking one. But a gang leader. Furthermore, I just escaped from an abusive relationship... men should and are the last thing on my mind right now. But I can't help but be intrigued by Billy.

I better shake that shit off...

Shaking my head and snapping back to reality, I took a deep breathe as I headed out of the bar. The cool night air tickled my skin and sent shivers up my spine as I walked outside. My eyes scanned my surroundings, noticing a red with black tribal markings along the front of the car, two door 1969 Ford Mustang parked in a parking space. Next, I noticed the customized license plate on the car that read 'Heco'. Oh lovely, the annoying sketcher who kept trying to make me sit on his lap last night drives a sexy car. Cool.

Suddenly the rumble from exhaust on a car exactly like Heco's except black with blood red tribal markings, roared as it pulled up beside where Heco's car was parked. Stunned, I stood there and watched as Billy climbed out of the car, exhaling smoke from his lips before throwing the cigarette down on the ground. Billy's piercing blue eyes met mine which made me extremely nervous. Blushing, I turned the other way and pulled my purse off my shoulder, digging inside and grabbing my pack of cigarettes.

"Shouldn't be out here alone, ya know." Billy called out behind me, making my heart pound rapidly.

"Yeah?" I asked, playing it cool as I looked back at him from over my shoulder, "And why's that?"

"Dangerous area for a broad like you." He replied coolly.

Slowly I turned around to face Billy, staring at him in amusement, "I can handle my own." I replied with confidence.

Billy was now leaning against his car and lighting himself a cigarette all while staring in my direction. I walked over towards Billy, unsure why I was doing so, I just did. I stood before him and pulled a cigarette out of my pack and lit it. I inhaled deeply as Billy and I stared at each other, both waiting for the other person to say something. Naturally, being the outspoken person I was...

"You're Joe's brother, right?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

Billy exhaled smoke in my direction as he straightened his back out, slightly leaning his head back to look at me. "Yeah. You're Christy's roommate." He more so stated rather than asked.

I nodded slowly, my tongue pressed against my cheek, "Very good."

Billy cracked a smirk at my comment. I could see Amanda coming from around the back of the bar, she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed Billy and I 'talking'. Billy looked over his shoulder to see what it was that I was looking at. He grunted before looking back at me.

"Amber, right?" He asked dully.

I nodded, making eye contact with Billy again, "And you're...Billy Darley." I stated making him nod slowly.

Billy rose to his feet, startling me and making me jump back. He smirked as he stood tall, turning and opening his drivers side door, resting his right arm on the roof of the car and the other arm on the door. Billy stared at me weirdly, like he was surprised I wasn't doing something, just standing there awkwardly. He exhaled deeply and stared at me with a stern look.

"Get in. I'll give ya a ride." He instructed.

I gave Billy a quick laugh in disbelief, "Thanks for the offer... but no thanks."

I turned to walk away, shaking my head in disbelief that he'd actually think I would go anywhere with him in his car. He was a gang leader, the brother to my best friend's drug dealing boyfriend... Yeah, no way.

Suddenly I was stopped dead in my tracks as Billy had a firm grip around my upper arm, pulling me around to face him. "I wasn't offering, I was telling ya." He whispered harshly.

My eyes widened as my jaw dropped in shock that Billy had just grabbed me. He wasn't hurting me or anything of the sort, but still... no one puts their fucking hands on me, especially not a gang leader. Without saying anything, I yanked my arm out of his grip and glared at him.

"You don't scare me." I replied quietly so that he could only hear me.

Billy's nostrils flared and his jaw clenched as what I had just said obviously pissed him off. It was clear that no one had the guts to stand up to Billy, especially not a girl. Judging by all the girls around this part of the city that I've encountered from only working two shifts here at the Four Roses, they were all quick to do whatever they could to impress Billy. Well, not me... fuck that. I've put up with Shane's abuse for the past year, I'm not taking anymore shit from anyone. I'm no longer anyone's rag doll. I also will not take any shit from Billy or his gang.

"Fuck ya, then." Billy huffed before climbing into his car. I glared at Billy as I walked away from him and his car and made my way over to Amanda.

Amanda stared at me wide eyed and shocked, "...Amber..." She said cautiously as her eyes shifted from me over to Billy's car that was now leaving the parking lot.

"You did not just talk to him like that..." She questioned, already knowing the answer.

"...You ask anyway?" I asked cocking an eyebrow up at her.

"No one... and I mean no one, especially a girl... has said that to Billy. Not ones who are still alive anyway." She explained making me roll my eyes and shake my head.

"He's never been challenged like that."

"Challenged? that wasn't a challenge... that was me not being like the typical girl who would climb in his passenger seat and blow him." I replied sarcastically.

"Like me?" She asked crossing her arms. "You think you're better than the rest of us because you're not from these parts?" She asked becoming defensive.

I tilted my head and stared at Amanda confused, "...Woah. No. I-I-"

"Good, because you ain't nothing fucking special in these parts. Us 'typical girls' from these parts, will fucking chew you up and spit you out." She spat at me.

I took one last drag off my cigarette before flicking it to the ground beside her, "And you are?" I asked referring to her comment about how I was nothing 'fucking special' in these parts. I turned around and began to walk back inside, leaving Amanda stunned and speechless.


	5. Chapter 4

Beep. Beep. Beep

Aggravation set in as the sound of my alarm clock going off rang through my ears. I had finally forced myself to sleep only a few hours ago after a long night...er... morning of throwing up and having the whiskey spins. Why is my alarm set to go off so late anyhow? It has to be sometime in the afternoon.

"Shut... up..." I groaned as I placed my pillow over my head and reached out for my alarm, silencing it.

After a few moments of trying to go back to sleep and failing, I gave up and sat up in bed. Blinking a few times as my eyes tried to focus on the red numbers on my alarm clock. I sighed deeply as I realized it was already 5:30 pm. I don't even remember getting home or getting into bed. All I remember is this morning, flying out of bed and out of my room, straight into the bathroom and throwing up so bad that I was even dry heaving. It's official... I'm never drinking again.

"Christy?" I called out softly before waiting for a response.

Nothing.

"Are you awake?" I asked in a groggy tone as I swung my legs out from under my blankets and kicked my legs over the edge of my bed.

"Christy?" I called out again as I slowly made my way over to my door.

I placed my hand on my doorknob but never opened the door. Instead I placed my ear against the door and listened closely. The sound of Joan Jett's "I hate myself for loving you" was blasted from Christy's stereo that's out in the living room AND the sound of a female's voice drunken singing it as loud as she could. I cocked an eyebrow and pulled the door open. My eyes clamped shut as the light nearly blinded me.

"Christy- Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed, startled at the fact that some random girl was sitting on the floor, her back against the couch and a bottle of whiskey in her hand.

The girl looked up at me and smirked slightly, "Did I scare you?"

I shrugged and folded my arms over my chest as I leaned against the wall. The girl had long jet black hair, black and white tattoos up and down her arms and knuckle tattoo. Much like mine, except I only had my right sleeve outline tattooed. I'm not one to be big on colored tattoos, but this girl rocked it. She was petite like me but maybe an inch or two shorter than I was. She had piercing baby blue eyes and was generally a good looking girl. She almost looked familiar but I couldn't place her.

"I take it you don't remember me helping you last night, huh?" She asked before taking a swig from her whiskey which almost made me cringe. The sight of whiskey is now so revolting that it's not even funny.

"You threw up so much this morning that I thought Christy was going to have to call an ambulance for you." She giggled.

So that's why this girl is so familiar... I have met her.

Sighing loudly, I made my way over to the couch and sat down. I ran my fingers through my messy hair as I reached for a pack of cigarettes that was laying on top of the coffee table. The girl burped before sighing and screwing the cap back on the whiskey bottle and sitting up straight. I quickly lit the end of my cigarette and inhaled deeply. Hopefully this cigarette doesn't make me throw up any worse than I already have today. Finally, the song ended and a softer but catchy song started to play. Genesis's "That's All".

"What's with the depressing love songs?" I asked before exhaling smoke out of my mouth.

"Wow.. you really don't remember anything from last night do you?" She asked with wide eyes. "Well for one... I'll introduce myself again... I'm Megan and I'm crashing with you and Christy for now because me and my boyfriend of five years, Jack, broke up due to his stupid music 'career'."

"I'm sorry to hear that..." I said softly.

Megan snorted, "Yeah? me too."

There was a long awkward silence between the two of us. I just continued to smoke my cigarette while Megan slowly pushed herself up and onto her feet before stumbling over to the couch and plopping down beside me.

"Amber right?" She asked as I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry about your ex.."

All the muscles in my body became tense as I straightened out my back and slowly looked back over at Megan. Her expression appeared to be sincere and sympathetic but yet I couldn't help but be embarrassed at the fact that I must have told her about my abusive ex boyfriend that I'm running from, Shane, while I was too intoxicated to function.

"Well..." I started slowly, "I'm sorry about yours?" I asked in confusion.

Megan chuckled, "Dude... we broke up because I don't know if I can trust him while he does all these shows. Like... what if he meets someone with big tits. I'm 118 pounds... my tits look like I'm 14."

I smirked, "Well... fuck him then?"

"Amen." Megan replied shortly.

"I just want to leave my past behind me and start new... who knows? maybe this will be a good thing - for the both of us. So cheer up." I tried my hardest to be convincing and sympathetic but judging by Megan's expression, she wasn't buying it.

"You hungry?" Megan asked shortly.

I shook my head no, my stomach could not possibly handle anything going inside of it right now. Not after throwing up so much. My stomach is still in pain from how much I threw up. Megan mouthed 'okay then' as she cocked an eyebrow at me, searching for something - anything - to talk about.

"What do you do for work?" She asked casually.

"The shittiest job out there..." I replied sarcastically making Megan stare at me with a smirk on her face. "I work at the Four Roses..." I added reluctantly.

Megan snorted from laughter before busting out into a giggle, "L-L-Lucky you." She giggled uncontrollably.

I sighed before giggling myself, "Trust me... it was a last resort."

"Dude... that place is rough!" Megan exclaimed, "If you ever get tired of that... come work with me."

"And where's that?" I asked curiously.

"Domino's pizza. But before you laugh... trust me it's a hell of a lot better pay and cleaner than the fucking Four Roses." Megan replied firmly.

I nodded in agreement, "Trust me. I believe you."

"I don't know how Christy puts up with that disgusting place. Let alone how she puts up with dating who she does..." Megan trailed off. "Don't get me wrong, if Joe makes Christy happy... then all the power to her. But... there's more than what meets the eye."

"No kidding... gang shit?" I questioned.

Megan chuckled, "Exactly. Not only that though... I take it that it has been awhile since you've been around Christy?" Megan asked slowly.

"Yeah, quite awhile actually." I replied. "Why?"

"Speaking of which... where is Christy?"

"...The Four Roses." Megan replied dully.

I sighed deeply as I leaned forward and put out my cigarette in the ashtray that was sitting on the coffee table. Megan leaned forward towards the coffee table as well, grabbing a different pack of cigarettes before placing a cigarette in between her lips. Megan sighed as well before leaning back on the couch and began to casually smoke her cigarette.

"Christy has a little bit of a coco problem... if you get what I mean." Megan told me.

"Again..?" I asked softly.

Megan nodded, "Yeah..."

"So it's a problem then?" I asked curiously.

Megan shrugged, "Well.. I'm not sure about that... but it's quite frequent."

Without saying so much as another word to my new roommate/possible friend, I headed to my room and found some clean clothes to wear before I proceeded to head to the bathroom and strip down all of my clothes and have a shower. After I was done showering I spent a few minutes standing in front of the mirror, studying my naked body. Shane was always careful when he'd hit me... in a sense that is. Meaning he'd never leave bruises on my legs or my arms or face. But my back, stomach, ribs were all fair game to him. I cringed at the sight of the bruises running up my side.

Thankfully, I'll never have to deal with that again. Why I stayed is beyond me. I should have came and lived with Christy the minute after Shane hit me the first time. But I was afraid. Afraid to leave him.. afraid that maybe it was something that I did that set him off in the first place. I was nothing but a pathetic, scared and helpless girl. But that Amber died... This Amber, takes shit from no one.

"Hey Amber!" I heard Megan call out from the living room.

I unplugged my blow dryer and put it underneath the bathroom sink before I answered her, "Just a second! I need to get dressed!" I called out.

Shower, do makeup and hair and then get dressed was how I've always done things. Quickly, I put on my bra and underwear, slipped on a pair of jean shorts and a black wife beater tank top. It may be evening time but it's still humid out.

"What's up?" I asked Megan as I walked out from the bathroom and over to where she was in the house.

"Christy just called, she's wasted as fuck... do you wanna go get her?" Megan asked with a weak hesitant smile, thinking that I was going to say no.

I rolled my eyes, "Fuck sake.... yeah. I'll go get her."

Megan smiled widely, "Sweet! I'll stay here and order us all pizza."

\----------------------------------------------

Why the hell am I here? Why the hell am I wearing high heels? Why am i not at home nursing my hangover with pizza and chilling out with my new friend/roomie Megan? Oh no.. instead I'm here, getting out of a taxi cab in the parking lot of the Four fucking Roses, on my way to babysit Christy - of course.

Oh lovely, Billy and Heco's cars are both here.. that means they're here. Perfect, just the people I wanted to see. Not. 

Sighing, I made my through the parking lot over to the bar doors. I sighed loudly as I walked inside of the bar, scanning my eyes around the room until my eyes landed on Ramona at the bar who was already making eye contact with me and pointing over to Billy\s table where Christy was, sitting on top of Joe and snorting lines of cocaine off of what appeared to be a CD case. Classy. Right in the open where you work. Way to be, Christy, way to be.

"Amby!" Christy squealed in excitement, acknowledging my presence.

"Christy..." I mumbled as I slowly walked towards the table.

Some of the gang made perverted comments about me and how I was dressed to one another while Heco winked at me. Jamie whistled while Bodie stared me up and down, making me feel uncomfortable. Next time... I'm not listening to Megan. She's the one who convinced me to wear these black 6 inch heels and since I was already wearing a black wife-beater and jean shorts... she figured I should stay dressed how I was. Me being the idiot I am, decided she was right.

Though Billy wasn't making any perverted comments, let alone saying anything for that matter, I could feel his eyes on me every time that he would glance up from staring at the cigarette burning in between his fingers and over to me. As much as I can't stand to be around the guy, especially after telling him off last night, I somehow am still nervous around him and I don't think it's because of the fact that he's a drug dealing, gang leader.

"God damn girl..." Bodie said coolly as he stared me up and down once more.

I sneered in disgust, ignoring his comment and turning my attention over to Christy who was not playing tongue hockey with Joe. I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention but all I did was cause Billy to look up at me. Instantly I stared down at the table, avoiding eye contact with Billy at all costs.

"Sit your fine ass down and have a drink." Bodie insisted as he scooted over, making room for me to sit down.

Reluctantly, I sat down and sneered at Heco who scooted over beside me and placed his arm around the back of my seat. Bodie who was on the right side of me, leaned his head back and glared at Heco who just glared right back at him. I looked at Bodie, glaring at him before I turned my head to my left and glared at Heco too.

"What?" I hissed at Heco who was smirking and nodding his head slowly at me.

"You like to play that hard to get shit, don't ya baby?" Heco asked, leaning in towards me slightly as if he was having a hard time hearing because of how loud the music was.

I snapped my head back and narrowed my eyes into a glare, "It ain't that fucking loud in here... move." I demanded.

Heco smirked again and pulled his head back, in turn giving me room to breathe. My eyes wandered over to where Billy was sitting, across from me. He picked up his beer and took a swig from his beer and then put it back down on the table. His eyes met mine as he did so, making me turn my head away in embarrassment, trying to hide the fact that I was blushing.

"You see my car out there?" Heco asked casually.

I shrugged and stared at him dully, "Yeah?"

"Why don't we get outta here and I take you for a ride...." Heco suggested slyly.

"I don't ride in people's cars that I don't know." I snapped back in annoyance.

Heco chuckled, "I wasn't talking about riding in my car... unless you wanna ride me in the backseat."

My mouth fell agape as I tried to process how stupid this guy really was. Slowly I turned my head back over to him and cracked a slight smile before shaking my head in disbelief. Heco winked at me again before his traced his fingertips along my bare shoulder - sending goosebumps up and down my spine but also making me cringe at his touch.

"Yeah okay, as tempting as THAT sounds. I'm going to have to pass... since you know, I have better things to be doing. Like drinking bleach or jumping in front of a moving train. Anything besides being around you." I hissed in disgust.

A brief smirk formed from the corners of Billy's lips as I said what I said to Heco.

Heco chuckled as he leaned back in his seat, laughing at the fact that he clearly did not stand a chance but still would not take no for an answer which in return pissed me off and annoyed be beyond relief.

"You're funny." Heco laughed.

"And you're repetitive." I snapped in annoyance.

"Christy... come on, let's go."

"No." Christy replied flatly, not even so much as looking over at me as she spoke.

"Megan ordered us pizza.. she's waiting for us back at home..." I added in a low tone, hoping that Christy would get off of Joe and come back home with me so I no longer had to be in between these two pigs.

"I like pizza..." Heco trailed off seductively.

"I didn't know you could inject pizza." I grumbled making Heco straighten his back out, offended by what I had just said while Billy let out a faint laugh.

Christy gave Joe a quick peck on the lips before picking back up the rolled dollar bill off of the table and using it as a straw to snort the three white powdered lines that Bodie had just cut for her. I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly as I listened to Christy snort hard and tilt her head back, sniffling a few times to make sure she got all the cocaine from the lines, up her nose.

"Don't you have work to be doing?" Billy asked Heco who instantly snapped his attention from me over to Billy, like a scared puppy.

"Yeah I-" Heco started.

"Then go do it." Billy demanded coolly, silencing Heco.

Heco nodded and stood up, allowing me to jump up from the seat of the booth. Bodie followed my lead and brushed past me, giving me a wink as he followed Heco out of the bar. Instead of sitting back down, I watched as Billy nodded over at Jamie who motioned 'Dog', 'Spink' and Tommy to follow him. I'm assuming they too were being forced to go and 'work'.

"Christy... come on." I demanded firmly.

Christy rolled her eyes and lookd up at me, "Look... I give you a place to stay because your boyfriend beat you up. Don't start playing mom to me."

My eyes widened at the fact that Christy was that drunk and high that she would throw that in my face, especially in front of Billy, Joe and Baggy. I felt my face flush red with anger as I gritted my teeth and turned on my heel and began to walk off.

"Amber... I'm sorry." Christy called out dully.

I spun back around, "Fuck you."

Muttering every curse word that came to mind, I stormed out of the bar and stomped past Heco's car. Unfortunately his ass was still here... However, I paid no attention to him. Instead I continued walking. Where? I don't know. Home if I can remember how to get there.

After a few minutes of walking, I noticed I was no longer near the Four Roses as it was also no longer in sight. This was my first time walking anywhere since I moved here. I didn't know where I was going or how to find my apartment, I was lost. Sighing, my walking came to a halt as I stopped near a bus bench, pulling out my phone I began to type in my apartment building's name into the GPS on my phone. As I waited for the GPS to load, I stared up and looked around. An eerie feeling took over me as I saw a homeless woman pushing a shopping cart full of empty bottles and cans along the sidewalk and seeing a man across the street holding a brown paper bag wrapped around a bottle of some sort of liquor, hollering at another hooded man beside an oil barrel that was lit up from the fire inside of it.

My heart sunk as the rumble sound from the exhaust on Billy's car approached me from behind. Slowly, I turned around and winced as I shut my eyes tight for a few moments from being nearly blinded from Billy's headlights. Suddenly the car stopped idling and the lights went out. The drivers side door opened and Billy stood tall, staring me straight in the eyes.

"Ya stormed off there pretty fuckin' fast." He stated making me roll my eyes.

"Good observation." I replied sharply.

"Dressed like that I'm surprised ya ain't being followed." Billy said smirking as he placed a cigarette in between his lips. "Get in."

I laughed in disbelief, "Not this again... no thanks."

Billy climbed back inside his car and I watched as he lit his cigarette, not saying anything to me. I bit my lip nervously as I looked around at my surroundings and at all of the eerie people around. I sighed as he hung his arm out the window with a smoke in his hand. I had two options. I could walk and try find my way back home or take a ride from Billy. I had no choice but to go to the passenger door and get in.

"Fuck sakes.." I mumbled under my breathe as I opened the car door and climbed in slowly.

I stayed quiet as I awkwardly stared out my window for a couple of minutes before the tension between to two of us and the awkward silence started to bother me. I sighed deeply before looking over at Billy who was focusing on the road.

"Well... thank you for the ride...." I thanked Billy in attempt to break the awkward silence between the both of us.

"Ya welcome. It could have been Heco. Wouldn't want that, would ya?" Billy replied staring at the road.

"That's an understatement..." I replied shortly.

A smirk formed on Billy's face as he glanced over at me. Billy drove right past my apartment building making me sit up straight in my seat and turn to look at him. I became nervous... "That..was my building."

"I know." Billy replied shortly.

"I take it you've been there with Joe?" I questioned.

Billy snorted, ignoring my question as he reached over my lap and opening the glove department in front of me and grabbing an unopened pack of cigarettes. He slammed it shut making me jump in my seat a little bit. Billy fiddled with the packaging as he opened the pack, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips. I watched as he reached into his jeans pocket for his lighter, pulling it out and lighting his cigarette. I was in a complete haze as I watched Billy do so. He noticed me staring and looked at me without any expression written on his face, making me blush and look away from him and out my window.

"Well...where are we going, then?" I asked looking over at Billy again.

Billy ignored me again and carelessly held out his pack of cigarettes and lighter at me. I looked down at his hand and then back up at him and then back down at the cigarettes. Carefully, I took the lighter and pack of cigarettes out of his hand and pulled a cigarette out and lit it before handing them back to Billy. The touch of his cold hand sent shivers up my spine.

I inhaled a drag off of my cigarette while rolling down my window, "You know... I kinda wanted to go home."

"Too bad." Billy replied flatly as he pulled up towards what appeared to be under a bridge of some sort. I raised an eyebrow as we came to a stop. Billy dug in to a backpack that was between the both of us, on the floor. He snorted as he seemed to be in deep thought, making me wonder if he was sniffling because he had just snorted cocaine. Something in the back of my mind told me no, that couldn't be the reason.. but you could never be too sure with these kind of things. You know?... hanging out with a gang leader?

I scoffed, "Too bad? excuse me?"

"You could try talking sometime." I stated sarcastically.

"You could try shutting the fuck up, sometime." Billy replied as he opened his car door and grabbed the backpack off of the floor, "Stay here."

I scoffed again, "Fuck that. No. Fuck you."

Billy was about to climbed out of his car when he threw his cigarette down on the ground before he sat back down in his seat and slammed his door shut and turned to face me.

"Fuck me?" Billy asked becoming angry.

I turned in my seat to face him, leaning towards Billy so that our faces were only inches apart, "Yeah, fuck you. Let me out, I'll walk home."

Billy's anger seemed to ease up as I said what I did. A sick smirk formed from the corner of his mouth as he stared at me. My eyes narrowed into a glare as he continued to look at me with amusement. According to Amanda, nobody, especially a woman, has ever had the nerve to talk to Billy like I have. I didn't care. I wasn't afraid of him or anyone in his fucking 'gang'.

"Can I go now?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"You know... maybe I should have just took a ride with that creepy bald weirdo friend of yours. Heco. What kind of fucking name is Heco anyway? and Baggy? really? Oh and Bodie? Why are you and Joe the only ones with normal fucking names? Seriously, it's kind of-"

I was cut off by Billy crashing his lips over mine. At first I sat there stunned, unable to move, surprised that he was kissing me. Eventually, I closed my eyes and surprisingly kissed him back. My tongue caressed his bottom lip before both of our mouths opened and our tongues touched. Billy's cold hand ran up my bare leg, sending goose bumps all over my body and making me moan into the kiss. I swear I could almost feel him smirk into the kiss.

Before anything more could happen, we pulled apart from each other. Thank God. Billy stared at me dully, almost like he was busy trying to figure something out about me. A sly smile cracked from the corners of his mouth as he noticed how pink my cheeks were from embarrassment.

"Are you as bad as they say?" I asked in a whisper.

Billy leaned in back in, his lips only inches away from my ear, "I'm worse."

His warm breath sent chills up and down my spine as he whispered in my ear.

Nervously, I bit my lip as I stared in his eyes, "I'm not afraid of you.." I whispered slowly.

"You should be." He whispered back.

Before I could say anymore, Billy grabbed the backpack on the floor in between the two of us and threw it on over his shoulder before opening his door and looking back at me, "Come on, lets go"

"Where are we going?" I asked nervously.

"You'll see." Billy replied as he climbed out of his car.


	6. Chapter 5

As I stepped out from Billy's car, I carefully watched my steps as I wasn't familiar with walking in six inch heels and I certainly was inexperienced with walking in heels on gravel. Yet, I tried my hardest to play it cool as I followed behind Billy. The warm but breeze blew my hair widely around. Given the fact that it was the middle of summer and late at night, I was appreciative of this cooler breeze cooling off everything. I hate summer... I hate being so hot that you can't even sleep because of how humid it is.

An eerie feeling coursed its way through me as I scanned my surroundings. We were under a bridge, obviously. There was gravel everywhere as if it was going to be some sort of site for something but the construction never happened. There was graffiti EVERYWHERE along the bridge, a huge spray painted drawing of 'jigsaw' from the movie 'Saw'. The 'grass', what little amount of it that there was, was yellow and all mostly weeds. There was a beaten up old office desk with a rickety old bench seat from the inside of an old car. The only light was from inside of a oil barrel that had a small fire going inside of it.

Billy placed the green backpack on top of the beat up old wooden desk and watched as I approached the bench seat from a car and stared down at it in disgust. It was dirty, stained with God only knows what. There was cigarette burns all over it and it had a horrible musky, mildew like stench to it. I snarled in disgust and turned around to face Billy. Billy smirked and slightly shook his head before going back to digging through the backpack he had just placed on top of the desk.

"Well Mr. Darley, why are we here?" I asked as I placed my hands on the desk and pulled myself up and sitting on top of the desk next to the backpack that Billy was currently digging through. I carelessly dangled my legs off the desk out of boredom.

"We're selling fuckin' bibles." Billy replied sarcastically as he pulled out a little baggy of what appeared to be cocaine.

I rolled my eyes, "Cool. You brought me along to sell drugs. Great, awesome. Hopefully I'm not sitting on an old rusty heroin needle. That's all I need is to catch HIV." I replied sarcastically as I sneered at Billy.

Billy ignored my comment and snorted in disgust as an older single cab chevy pick up truck pulled up a few feet away from where we were. Billy tossed the baggy of cocaine up and caught it in the palm of his hand as he gave me a sly wink before turning and casually strutting towards the window of the pick up truck.

Am I suppose to be impressed or something? Hell no. 

"Hey Billy." The driver greeted Billy.

The man appeared to be in his mid 40's and looked like he hasn't slept in days. He was balding at the top of his head and the rest of hair was slightly longer than ear length. His cheeks were caved in and from what I could see, he appeared to have a scrawny build to him.

Bored, I pulled my hair to the front of my right shoulder and sighed loudly, staring at and reading some of the graffiti around me. I turned my head and watched as the driver of the old truck started to pull away, winking at me as he did so. The deal was done. Yay, maybe he will take me home finally.

Billy made his way back over towards the desk that both the backpack and I were sitting on. A $100 bill in his hand. He smirked as he opened the backpack and pulled out a brown paper bag full of cash. He placed the bill in the bag and shoved the brown paper bag back deep down inside of the backpack. Billy's eyes met mine as he dug into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Our eyes stayed locked on each other as Billy pulled out a cigarette from his pack and placed it in between his lips. He then pulled out a zippo lighter and flipped it open, still watching me like a hawk as he lit the end of his cigarette. I watched as the end burned red as Billy sucked back on his cigarette.

"Fast cash. Too bad ya can't make cash this fast at the Four Roses." Billy cracked a smart ass remark at me.

I gave Billy a half chuckle/half snort in disbelief, "Please... this shit is easy. I could do it too, if I wanted too."

"Ya ain't got it in ya'." Billy challenged.

My eyes widened and I scoffed, "How do you know?"

"I can just tell." Billy replied sharply as a newer, nicer car pulled up next to Billy's. Billy sneered in disgust as he stared at the car that had just pulled up next to his own. "This fuckin' prick. Rich and cheap. Never buys more than a half gram and won't pull up over here, scared that a fuckin' nail or something might get stuck in one of his tires." Billy explained.

A smirk formed on my lips as an idea went off inside of my head, "My turn."

Billy snapped his attention back over in my direction and stared at me with a blank expression. I jumped off of the desk and stood only inches away from Billy and held out my hand, rolling my eyes as I started to become impatient. Billy stared over at the car, thinking for a moment about whether or not he was actually going to let me attempt to make this deal. After a few moments, Billy pulled out another small bag off cocaine and placed it in the palm of my hand.

"Your turn." Billy announced, confirming that he was okay with letting me try.

There's a first time for everything right?... what the hell am I doing?!

"You're actually going to let me do the deal?" I asked wide eyed in disbelief.

Billy chuckled, "He ain't gonna buy from ya anyway."

I smirked, "Wanna bet?"

"He just ain't." Billy replied sharply.

"Well, we'll just see about that." I laughed slyly as I ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to brush it and make it look sexy.

I pulled down my tank top slightly and stuck my hand in my shirt and under my bra, pushing my boobs up higher in my bra cups to attempt to make them look 'bigger'. Given the fact that I was wearing a low cut black wife beater/tank top, blue jean short shorts and black six inch heels... there was no doubt in my mind that I couldn't impress the buyer and get him to buy from me. Next, I slipped the little baggy of cocaine in my bra and looked up at Billy.

"Watch... and learn." I instructed before turning to face the direction where Billy's car and the buyers car was parked.

As I slowly strutted my way towards the car, swaying my hips as I walked, I could feel Billy's eyes wandering up and down my body. I don't know what exactly it was that I was trying to prove. It almost was like I was trying to impress Billy. I've never sold drugs, I've never done drugs, let alone held drugs in my hands before. I'm not sure what's come over me, but for the first time in a long time... I actually feel pretty, sexy and confident. I was finally free.

Don't fall on your face.. don't fall on your face... stupid heels... hey, I think I'm getting the hang of walking in these damn things.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous. As I made my way to the car, I placed one hand on top of the roof of the buyer's car and bent down slightly so that I was eye level with the driver of the car/buyer. The buyer was a middle aged, well dressed, blue collar type man who sure as hell didn't look like he was into cocaine... but, who the hell isn't this day and age? Besides me...

"You got half for me, pretty lady?" The man asked as he stared at my cleavage.

Shocked, I nodded and pulled the baggy out from my bra. The man reached out for the baggy and I pulled it back. Nuh uh... Did he seriously just reach for the bag like I was just suppose to drop the bag into the palm of his hands? This may be my first time dealing drugs let alone being my first time holding drugs in my hand... But I'm not that stupid when it comes to shit like this. You'd have to be a complete idiot to just hand someone something without getting the money from them first.

"Fifty bucks little man, put that shit in my hand." I sang cheerfully as I held out my free hand.

The man chuckled in amusement, "I see Billy has you trained well."

I turned to look at Billy who was now standing in front of his car watching us like a hawk while he puffed back on a cigarette. Oddly enough, I felt safe knowing that Billy was watching me so closely. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this. In Billy's eyes, I probably seemed like some sort of nun that wasn't like the other girls he knew. I wasn't innocent by no means, but I wasn't into drugs... Hence why doing this and being oddly comfortable doing this, was strange to me.

"Are you Billy's girl or something?" The man asked as he handed me the cash. "It's not like Billy to have a broad here. I don't know him, but judging by how I met him at the Four Roses... he's the type to fuck a chick and never call her back."

"Ha. No, I am not his girlfriend. God fucking no." I replied laughing in disbelief while handing the man the bag of cocaine and tucking the money he had just given me, inside of my bra.

"Thanks." The man thanked me, giving me a cool smile and a wink before I stood back up straight and made my way back towards Billy.

Billy stared at the man with a cold intimidating look, showing the man that it's not a good idea to stick around. Billy was now leaning casually against his driver door of his car. I clicked my jaw as I became proud of myself at what I had just done, pulling the money out of my bra and handing it to Billy. The man quickly backed up and drove out of sight.

"Told you." I stated proudly as I walked past Billy and around to the front of his car where I pulled myself up on the hood and looked around in boredom.

"What are ya doing?" Billy asked coolly.

"Not doing anymore deals if that's what you're wondering." I responded firmly.

Billy ignored my comment as he opened the backpack that he had on the roof of his car and pulled out the brown paper bag full of cash. Billy shoved the money I had just handed him inside the brown paper bag and stuffed the brown paper bag back into the back. I was looking away from Billy but heard him open his drivers side door and toss the backpack into the backseat of his car and slam his car door shut.

"Get off." Billy demanded.

I rolled my eyes, "Why? I'm just sitting here. It's the least dirtiest place to sit around here."

"I don't care. Get off." Billy repeated as he stomped over in front of me, standing in between my legs that were dangling off the hood of his car.

I closed my eyes for a moment as I sighed in annoyance, "Why?.." I whined.

"You'll scratch the paint." Billy replied flatly.

I smirked slyly, "Oh will I? We wouldn't want that would we?" I asked as I laid down on my back on the hood of his car. I closed my eyes and smiled smugly in satisfaction, waiting for him to flip out like any other guy would if some chick was on the hood of his completely redone, perfectly done paint job, classic car.

To my surprise, Billy didn't yell or anything. Instead he just placed his hands on each side of my hips and pulled me down towards him. I opened my eyes and sat back up straight. Our faces were only inches apart again. His piercing blue eyes stared deeply into my eyes, as if he as staring through my soul. Billy's hands were still on my hips. Nervous, I gently nibbled on my lower lip as I reached up and placed one hand on the side of Billy's face.

Billy's eyes shifted to the side where my hand was before staring back into my eyes. Billy slowly lowered his face down towards mine and placed his lips on top of mine and kissing me roughly. His tongue caressed my bottom lip and I opened my mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside of my mouth and dance with my own. I closed my eyes and gently placed my arms around Billy's neck, deepening the kiss as I wrapped my legs around his waist, carefully so that my heels wouldn't slip off.

Billy groaned as he leaned forward, lowering me down on my back on the hood of his car. Obviously he doesn't care about the paint potentially getting scratched like he had carried on about. Billy's hands roamed up my sides making me moan and slightly arch my back. His hands slowly made their way down my body, down to the front of my shorts where he then tried to unbutton my shorts.

I stopped kissing and turned my head to the side, staring down to see what he was doing. He ignored it and started to kiss my neck, sending electric vibes through my body, almost making me quiver under him. I gulped slightly as I realized that he was trying to undo my pants and fuck me on the hood of his car under a bridge where he sells drugs. What kind of girl does he take me for?

"Stop." I said slowly as I tried to pull my neck away frm his lips.

"Why?" Billy said in a muffled tone as he kissed my neck again and continued to try and undo my shorts.

What Amanda had told me and what the buyer had just said to me minutes ago about how Billy is with women suddenly turned me off. He must think I'm going to spread like butter like all the other girls he's use to. Well, not me. I suddenly felt dirty and used, like he thought of me as nothing but his next lay. Of course he does. He's a gang leader, drug dealer, womanizer. What was I thinking? How stupid could I be. He's trying to take advantage of me. Shane's been doing that to me for the past year, no other man is ever going to take advantage of me.

"Billy... stop." I whimpered as Billy finally succeeded in unbuttoning my shorts. I reached down and pushed his hands off of my shorts.

Billy ignored me and tugged and my belt loops on my shorts and I felt tears begin to swell in my eyes. I was hurt that he brought me out here in hopes of fucking me like some cheap whore that he was use to. I also felt stupid that I allowed myself to believe that he was anything other than what I had already heard about him.

"Billy, stop!" I shouted as I shoved him off of me and jumped off of the hood of his car.

Billy stood tall, straightening out his back as he leaned his head back slightly. Judging by his expression, he was pissed off that I had basically led him on and then rejected him. But I have self respect... well, besides the fact that I allowed myself to stay with someone who would hit me and force sex on me against my will, for a year... surprisingly I still had some self respect left.

It's easy to tell that Billy has never had a girl tell him no. In fact, no girl has ever said no to Billy. For one, he's incredibly good looking and easy to give in to. Two, he's a feared gang leader and three, well... who would want to pass up the chance to be in my position right now?

I turned my head away from Billy as I zipped my shorts back up and buttoned them back up, "I'm not some whore from the Four Roses that'll spread her legs at the snap of your fingers, alright?" I stated firmly as I blinked away tears that were trying hard to escape the corners of my eyes.

"Could have fooled me." Billy grumbled as he pushed the sleeves of his shirt up and walked over to the drivers side of his car and yanked open the car door.

"You're an asshole." I spat angrily as I turned and began to storm off, not caring if I trip and snap my ankle in these stupid heels.

"So I've been told." Billy responded as he shrugged an placed a cigarette in between his lips.

"Just get in the fuckin' car." Billy called out after me.

I sighed, surprised that he was actually still willing to give me a ride home after what just happened. I shrugged and spun around, walking back towards the passenger side door. Like hell I was walking alone dressed like I am, in this creepy neighborhood. I'd rather endure the awkward drive with Billy and make it home safely rather then end up raped and chopped up by some random hobo around here.

The drive was awkward and silent. Billy puffed away on cigarette after cigarette while I stared out the window dully, anxious to get home and get out of his car and away from him. More importantly, I was excited to get home and kick off these stupid fucking heels. Oh, and the fact that Megan said she was ordering pizza earlier... was also on my mind. I love pizza. Pizza is great. Pizza isn't an asshole. What am I even going on about? It's a good thing people can't read my mind... I'd probably be checked into a psych-ward if they could.

I sighed in relief, happy to see my shitty apartment building as Billy pulled up along the sidewalk and put the car in park, but didn't turn the car off, telling me that he was obviously going to leave as soon as I get out of the car.

Nervously, I turned in my seat and aced Billy and cleared my throat before speaking, "Thank you for the ride."

Billy nodded slightly, acknowledging my gratitude but was still clearly pissed off at me. I didn't care. I just want out of this car and away from him. I pursed my lips together and nodded awkwardly. I turned in my seat and opened the car door.

"Well... see you around. Thanks again." I said before climbing out of the car and shutting the car door behind me.

Billy sped away as I made my way towards my balcony of my apartment. Thank God for living on the first floor. I'm not sure why I told Billy that I'd see him around.

Fuck that... I'm going to avoid him like the plague.


	7. Chapter 6

It's been three weeks since the night of the incident between Billy and I occurred. I've avoided him like the plague, literally. I asked Sammy to work only day shifts and he was okay with that considering Amanda hated working day shifts since she stays up all night and sleeps all day. So for the past three weeks it's been just Ramona and I working while Christy and Amanda work nights. Except for tonight... I've been called in and unfortunately have to take the shift as I need all the money I can get.

Megan was here sitting at the bar drinking and keeping me company during my shift considering Christy was busy hanging off of Joe at the table him and his brother and the rest of Billy's gang always sat at. Luckily for me, it was only Joe and Spink here tonight. No Billy, no annoying Heco, no intimidating Bodie, no Jamie, Tommy, Dog and no Baggy. Thank God for that.

Given that tonight is a Friday night, this shit hole bar is actually somewhat busy tonight. Christy's even been helping and she's not even working tonight. Ramona's behind the bar and Amanda who was supposed to not come in tonight - hence why I'm here - even decided to actually show up and help. Since Amanda did end up showing up, I decided to just stand behind the bar, chat with Megan and clean beer mugs for Ramona.

"How long am I suppose to feel like this?" Megan groaned.

"You'll get over it." I reassured her as I grabbed a little notepad and a pen.

"Good... because I feel like shit. I miss him." Megan confessed before throwing back another shot of whiskey.

"You dumped him..." I reminded Megan, not looking up as I started to sketch a random drawing of a 'zombie hooker'.

Megan sighed, "I know. But I mean come on..."

I shrugged, still not looking up, "You could just suck up your pride and call him. Tell him you miss him. The fucking guy is probably is shambles."

"Oh... I know for a fact that he is." Megan replied sharply. I could sense that she was smirking proudly.

"How do you know that?" I asked, not really paying attention as I was busy doodling.

"He got rid of our apartment because it's too weird for him to be there without me. He's been couch surfing among his band member's places." Megan replied dully.

"Is that a zombie with tape over it's tits?" Megan asked, changing the subject.

I giggled as I looked up at Megan, "Yup."

Megan cocked an eyebrow at me as she studied my drawing, "Strange but dope."

"What do you think I should do?" She asked, changing the subject.

I sighed in annoyance, "Megan... if you don't call this Jack guy. I'm going to call him my damn self, go a find him and drag his ass all the way here to you." I threatened with a smirk.

Christy came around the bar and stood next to me, grabbing a drink tray and stacking a round of shots that Ramona had just poured for her, on her drink tray. I counted the shot glasses and then looked up and over at the familiar table... everyone was now there and by everyone I mean all of Billy's gang... except for Billy.

"No don't tell her that." Christy started as she started to place the shot glasses on her tray, "Then she will move out and you and I will have to go back to splitting the rent." Christy teased.

Megan rolled her eyes, "Oh no, I'd never do that... because if I did, you'd have to pay more rent and would have less money to spend on cocaine! God, how dumb of Amber and I."

Christy shot Megan a cold glare before a slight grin formed from the corners of her lips, "Wah, hey Amber who am I?" Christy asked, nudging me in the arm, "Wah I miss my Jack, wah. I drink myself stupid because I miss him so much even though I dumped him. Wah"

"Fuck you." Megan chuckled.

"Fuck you too." Christy snapped jokingly.

"That's my shirt." Megan stated, nodding her head towards Christy's shirt.

"And that's my shirt that you're wearing." I interrupted Megan.

"Yo! Christy!" Bodie shouted from his table, "What are you waiting for?! Bring those fucking shots!"

Christy rolled her eyes and picked up her tray and glared at Megan, "This isn't over."

"Yes it is." Megan replied with a wink.

They were both obviously just bugging one another and weren't actually mad at each other. I like Megan. We've grown quite close these past few weeks and I find myself spending a lot more time with Megan that I do with Christy... and Christy is my 'best friend'. Overall, I enjoy having both Christy and Megan as my roommates. They make my dull life not so dull.

"Christy! Come on! Fuck!" Baggy shouted from the table as well.

"Ah shut up! I'm coming!" Christy barked in annoyance as she stormed out from behind the bar and back towards the table Joe and everyone was sitting at.

I shook my head before slouching forward and leaning against the bar while I began to doodle on the notepad some more. Megan finished her drink and sighed loudly as she pulled out some cash from her wallet and handed it to Ramona. Megan sighed again, this time a bit louder and more dramatic than the last sigh. I didn't think anything of it, so I just continued to draw random broken hearts. Megan cleared her throat as loud as she could, making me snap my head up in her direction.

"Finally." She muttered, "I'm going to go to the bathroom and call Jack."

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

Megan shrugged, "Yeah... I miss him. It's killing me."

"Go!" I insisted, holding my hands up and 'shooing' her away towards the bathroom.

"Wish me luck!" She called out at me as she walked towards the bathroom.

A huge grin spread across my face as I suddenly felt happy for Megan. It's clear that she really loves this guy and from what she's told me, she dumped him for a really stupid and insecure reason. But who am I to judge anyone of their relationship choices. I spent the last year with an abusive, controlling, asshole and then I move here and made out with a drug dealing, womanizing, gang lord. Again, I'm the last person on this earth to be giving someone else shit for their relationship problems.

As I was drawing another zombie hooker, seven $20 bills were tossed carelessly on top of my notepad. Confused, I slowly looked up and stared at Billy who was standing in front of me, a lit cigarette dangling in between his lips. I don't know what it was with Billy, but just having him stare at me made me nervous.

"What's this?" I asked in confusion as I picked up the bills and held it up at him.

Billy stared at me in annoyance, as if he expected me to just automatically know why he was giving me all this money. I popped my hip and stared at him wide eyed, waiting for him to reply. Billy squinted his eyes and shook his head at me slightly, "That's your fuckin' tips that Sammy owes ya."

My mouth fell agape as I looked down at the money, "From three weeks ago?!"

Billy ignored me and ripped the cigarette out from in between his lips and leaned forward, grabbing a clean beer mug from behind the bar and ashing in it. I scoffed, I just finished cleaning those!

"How did you..." I started.

"Christy said that you were bitching about Sammy ripping ya off from your tips." Billy replied dully. "Shitty way to be thanking me."

"Did you threaten him?! What did you do?!" I asked suspiciously.

"You gonna give me a reward for getting that money of yours?" Billy asked in a cocky tone, trying to get a rise out of me.

I sneered at Billy in disgust, "Not likely."

"Ungrateful." Billy retorted as he pulled the cigarette out from his mouth yet once again, only this time putting it out in yet another clean beer mug.

I glared at Billy as he smirked at me slyly before heading towards the table that the rest of his boys were at. I mumbled every curse word that came to mind as I pulled out his cigarette butt from the beer mug and chucked it towards where Billy was sitting. It didn't make it even remotely close to their table, but the thought felt good enough.

After I was done cleaning the beer mugs that Billy had used as ashtrays, I shoved the money Billy had gave me inside my bra and walked out from behind the bar. Glaring at Billy as I passed his table and headed to the bathroom where Christy and Megan were. Megan was talking on her cellphone with Jack and fixing her hair in the mirror which made me assume that their phone conversation is going well and that she'd be seeing him tonight.

I scanned my eyes around the crowded bathroom, looking for Christy. Megan nodded at me in the mirror, acknowledging that I was there. I nodded back at her before turning my head and looking around. A tall, thin blonde with bloodshot eyes in the corner of the bathroom near the sink next to the paper towel dispenser and hand dryer stared at me. She was zoned right out, higher than a kite. Naturally, I looked away trying not to seem rude and end up getting involved in confrontation.

"Hey Amby!" Christy greeted me happily as she stepped out from one of the bathroom stalls.

"There you are..." I grumbled. "I'm going to go for a smoke, do you want to come?"

"Yeah sure." Christy agreed.

But instead of following me to head out of the bathroom, Christy walked over to the girl with the bloodshot eyes and whispered something to her making the girl nod and motion Christy back over to the stall that Christy just came out of. The girl wiped under her nose and sniffled as she walked past me with Christy following. I squinted my eyes suspiciously as I stood outside of the stall until they finally came back out of it only a minute later.

"Alright. Give me a minute... then we will go outside for a cigarette, okay?." Christy announced as she gave a nod of acknowledgment at the girl who was just in the stall with her.

"You're going to snort cocaine in a bathroom stall at the Four Roses. Wow Christy, you sure keep your partying classy." I stated, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Well would you rather me sick from being too drunk? Do you know what cocaine does when you're wasted like this? Hmm?" Christy asked me impatiently.

"No, Christy. I don't. I've never done it before." I replied looking away from her, folding my arms across my chest.

"Yeah? Well it sobers you up. So if anything you should be happy that you won't have to babysit me anymore." Christy mocked me in a whiny tone, slamming the bathroom stall shut.

I shrugged and pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek, "Maybe don't drink like a fucking pirate and you wont have this problem?" I suggested as I spun around and leaned against the bathroom stall door.

"It's not my fault that you prefer to violently power puke everywhere when you drink. I prefer to do a couple rails and not have to worry about throwing up from being drunk." Christy said from inside the stall.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever. Let me in."

Christy ignored me which pissed me off. So I turned to my side and shoved my body up against the stall door, using all my force, I got the door open. Christy jolted her up head up in my direction for a moment before looking away from me and tapping out a little bump of cocaine on the top of the toilet. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as Christy pulled out her bank card from her bra to chop up her cocaine and form small rails aka 'lines of cocaine along the top of the toilet. The noise of her card tapping the porcelain only annoyed me more.

"Load up on guns....bring your friends, it's fun to lose and to pretend...." Christy started to sing along to the music that was blasted throughout the bar as she continued chopping up her lines.

"Open your mouth." Christy said bluntly, wiping the residue of the cocaine off of her bank card and holding her finger up to me.

"No thanks." I mumbled.

"Quit being a god damn baby. It's just a gummy... it'll make your mouth numb. Try it. Come on." Christy pressured me.

"Nope. That's... that's alright." I refused.

"You're lame." Christy said as she wiped the cocaine residue along her gums. "Hello, hello... hello, how low? with the lights out... it's less dangerous, here we are now... entertain us." Christy continued to sing.

Christy stared back at me with a smirk across her face as she rolled up a $20 bill to use for a straw to snort her cocaine with. She then snorted the cocaine lines up like her nose was a vacuum. I became impatient waiting for Christy to finish her shit. Megan walked up beside me and poked me in the cheek.

"What's up? What are we doing- Oh my God, Christy really? Gross. Do it off a table or something not a fucking toilet." Megan scolded.

"Ahh! Much better!" Christy sighed in relief as she snorted back remaining contents of coke in her nostril.

Annoyed and becoming impatient, I rolled my eyes, "Can we go for a cigarette now?"

"Hey guys... Jack's gonna be coming here any minute. You guys mind?" Megan asked as we left the bathroom.

"No of course not. I'm looking forward to meeting him." I replied with a smile.

"Yeah... whatever." Christy growled as she staggered over to where Joe was sitting.

Megan started talking to me as she headed back towards the bar stool she was once sitting on at the bar but I zoned out, unable to hear anything she was saying because I was too busy being focused on the blonde sitting on Billy's lap as he smoked a cigarette. My blood started to boil as I continued to death glare the two of them. I don't know what just came over me, but what I do know is that I'm suddenly in rage mode.

The blonde kissed Billy on the cheek before getting off of Billy and standing near the table, saying something to Billy. I took this chance and stormed over to the table. My shoulder collided with the blonde's nearly knocking her over as I walked passed her.

"Woah. Sorry?" The blonde slut apologized, staring at me with confusion written all over her face.

I spun around and faced her, "You got a fucking problem?"

Christy's jaw dropped and her eyes widened at what I just said. Joe started coughing loudly, choking on his beer from laughing at my reaction. Billy ashed his cigarette in the ashtray on the table before placing the cigarette back in between his lips, staring up at the two of us.

"Excuse me?" She asked, scoffing.

"I didn't fucking stutter." I mumbled loudly. "Christy... you ready to go?"

"You know this bitch, Christy?" The blonde asked in disgust.

A wild, crazy grin spread across my face as I turned my head to the girls direction, "Do you like your fake eyelashes on your face?" I asked softly.

"Uhm... sure?" She asked confused.

"Then shut your fucking mouth before I punch them off." I threatened.

The girl chuckled as she stared me up and down. She turned her head and stared at all of Billy's boys before turning her attention back to me and pointed at me and laughed in disbelief. My eyes were on Billy who was just puffing away on his cigarette as if nothing was happening right now, which only made me more mad and I'm noteven sure why.

Billy was wearing a black long sleeved shirt and jeans. His cross necklace hung from around his neck and his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. He looked incredibly sexy. Wait.. what. Ew. What am I saying? I've been avoiding this asshole. Why do I even care about this chick? Besides the fact that shes a gross slut.... am I jealous? No. She's just gross... and I'm angry.

"I don't know who the fuck you are, but I'd shut your fucking mouth when you're talking to me." The girl stated flatly.

Jamie, Bodie and Baggy all stared up at me, not saying a word while the others except Joe, Christy and Billy - laughed. The girl sneered at me as she purposely shoved me out of her way. She began to strut over towards the bar where Megan was sitting, impatiently waiting for Jack to arrive.

I stumbled slightly but managed to keep myself from falling over, "Oh hell NO!" I shouted as I regained my balance.

Billy's eyes shot up at me, staring at me with a cold piercing look. I gritted my teeth as I jogged up behind the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder, spinning her back around and pulling my right arm back and slamming my fist against her chin. The girl gasped before shoving me back away from her so that she could pull her arm back and throw a punch at me.

"Amber!" Christy called out from the table, climbing over Joe and jumping over Tommy and Heco to run over to me.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Megan shouted from where she was sitting.

The girl clawed at my chest as I continued to repeatedly throw punches at her, hitting her in the side of the head each time. One of her friends who were sitting at the table with Billy's boys, jumped up and ran up at me from behind. But before she could do anything, Megan jumped off of her bar stool and lunged at the girl, pushing her away from me and slamming her against the wall.

Another girl who had just walked in from outside noticed Megan and I beating on two of her friends, tried to run at Megan but was stopped by Christy. Needless to say, a huge chick brawl broke out right in the middle of the bar.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Sammy roared as he ran out from his office.

"RAMONA! Do something!" Sammy shouted.

Ramona ran over to the first set of girls - Christy and some random friend of the slut I was fighting - Ramona pulled the two of them apart and struggled to keep them apart. Amanda came running from behind the bar and begged Megan to stop hitting the girl who tried to sucker punch me. Luckily for Amanda, she succeeded in breaking Megan and the girl apart.

Me and this slut who was all over Billy on the other hand? We were still throwing punches at each other and falling into tables and throwing each other against the wall. The finally got a good punch in, hitting me right square in the chin, jolting my head to the left. I winced before lunging forward at the girl, tackling her to the ground.

"Amber! Stop!" Ramona shouted as she tried to pull me off of the girl.

I ignored Ramona and climbed on top of the girl so that I was straddling her as I started to punch her as much as I could. I hit her so many times that I played myself out. The girl wiggled her way out from under me and pulled her knee up to her chest and extended her leg out, kicking me back away from her. As her foot hit my stomach, I gasped for air as the wind had literally just been knocked right out of me.

I slowly stood up and winced for a moment as I watched the girl be pulled up to her feet by Ramona who was unimpressed with the both of us. The girl gritted her teeth and charged at me but before she could hit me or do anything for that matter, Ramona gabbed her by her pony tail and pulled her back away. I smirked and pulled my arm back but before I could hit the girl one last time... A strong arm wrapped itself around my waist and picked me up off of my feet and carried me away from the girl and out of the bar completely.

"Put me down!" I shouted as I slammed my fists against Billy's arm, struggling to get out of his grasp.

Billy let me go and stared down at me. To my surprise he didn't appear angry or anything for that matter which surprised me considering I just got in a fist fight with his slut. Billy shook his head as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and pulled out two cigarettes. He placed one between his lips and handed me the other one.

"You smoke a lot." I mumbled.

"What the fuck were ya doin'?" Billy asked, ignoring my comment as he lit the end of his cigarette.

"Hitting a dumb slut?" I replied in a matter of fact tone.

Billy smirked, "Keep talkin' like that and people are gonna think you're jealous."

I scoffed, "Excuse me? I'm not fucking jealous of that dumb bitch. Get some class by the way. Find someone who's at least pretty."

Billy slowly exhaled smoke out of his mouth and in my face, "You're jealous." 

Before I could defend myself, red and blue flashing lights interrupted me. A police squad car pulled up and a female officer climbed out. Billy stood tall, straightening out his back.

It was then I knew... I was in trouble.


	8. Chapter 7

Being held in the drunk tank/holding cells in Boston wasn't my idea of fun for tonight. Billy's slut who I found out by the officer who cuffed me at the Four Roses and brought me here - her name is Jennifer. Luckily for me... Jennifer didn't want to press charges and she got to walk and is probably currently all over Billy right now the hoe that she is. But... I should be thankful that she didn't press charges against me. Billy on the other hand... I hope he likes his chicks bruised and bloody. Heh... Heh.

I was told that I'm stuck here for the night until I'm 'sober' in the morning or until somebody picks me up. Not one of these cops bothered to even Breathalyzer me or they'd realize that I haven't even drank tonight. I tried explaining to the female cop that cuffed me that but oh no... she just ignored me. So here I am... awkwardly sitting on a cold cement bench in a drunk tank with four other women. Cool, they're probably going to kill me.

Christy's too drunk and high to come down here and get me so I'm not even going to bother hoping that she will. Megan's more than likely busy with Jack and won't bother coming down to the station and getting me. Ramona's pissed off at me and still working so she definitely won't come get me as she probably thinks this is a good way for me to learn my lesson.

Ugh... what the hell was I thinking?! 

Billy seems to think I started shit with Jennifer out of sheer jealousy. Is he nuts?1 God no... I mean, I did it because she's... a slut? No. He's right. I did it out of jealousy. Why? I don't know... I want nothing to do with Billy... he's bad news and a womanizer... I want absolutely nothing to do with him... er... No... that's not true. Who am I? and what's gotten over me?!

"You're being released." A male cop called from behind the bars.

I shot my head up at him and looked back at the other drunken girls in the cell with me and then back over at the cop, realizing that he was talking to me. He frowned at me as he unlocked the cell and motioned me to get up and follow him to collect my belongings which was nothing besides my pull over hoodie that they wouldn't let me wear in the cell in case I tried to "hang" myself with it.

After I was done dealing with the police, the male officer led me out to the front where Billy was standing. My jaw dropped and my eyes squinted into a glare, unable to fathom that he was actually here and was the one to pick me up in order to have me released, out of everyone I know... HIM?!

"It all makes sense now... keep your woman in line, Darley." The male cop hissed at Billy as he walked me over to Billy.

Billy grinned slyly, "Or what? ya gonna finally try and arrest me?" Billy taunted.

My eyes widened, shocked that he was actually getting smart with this police officer. If his big stupid mouth gets me thrown back behind bars I'm going to kick him the dick.

"Stay out of trouble, Darley." The cop replied, snarling at Billy.

"Fuckin' prick" Billy mumbled as he chuckled.

Billy then began to walk towards the exit doors, leaving me standing there appalled with everything that was currently happening at the moment. Billy stopped in his tracks and turned slightly to face me. His eyes squinted in annoyance as he stared back at me.

"Are ya fuckin' coming or not?" Billy asked slightly shaking his head.

I quickly glanced back over at the cell that I was just in before glancing back over at Billy. Without any further hesitation, I pulled my hoodie on over my head and followed Billy outside of the police station and over to his car. Once we were inside Billy's car, I put my seat belt on and folded my arms across my chest, unimpressed that Billy of all people was the one to come and basically bail me out...

Billy started the car and sped out of the police station faster than he should have. I'm surprised no police sirens and flashing red and blue lights are going off behind us. I had no idea where it was Billy was taking me and I hoped it was to my apartment as I'm tired and done with tonight.

A sly smirk formed across my face as I looked over at Billy, "How's your 'hot' date's face feeling?"

Billy snorted, ignoring my question as he reached over my lap and opening the glove department in front of me and grabbing an unopened pack of cigarettes. He slammed it shut making me jump in my seat a little bit. Billy fiddled with the packaging as he opened the pack, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips. I watched as he reached into his jeans pocket for his lighter, pulling it out and lighting his cigarette. I was in a complete haze as I watched Billy do so. He noticed me staring and looked at me without any expression written on his face, making me blush and look away from him and out my window.

"Awe, did I ruin your chance of getting laid tonight?" I asked in a fake crying whiny tone.

Billy gave a faint chuckle in disbelief, "Chance?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yuck..."

Billy ignored me again and carelessly held out his pack of cigarettes and lighter at me. I looked down at his hand and then back up at him and then back down at the cigarettes. Carefully, I took the lighter and pack of cigarettes out of his hand and pulled a cigarette out and lit it before handing them back to Billy. The touch of his cold hand sent shivers up my spine.

I inhaled a drag off of my cigarette while rolling down my window, "So...Billy..." I started again trying to spark up conversation. "Why did you pick me up?" I asked dully as I flicked the ashes from my cigarette out the window.

"Someone had to." Billy replied dully.

Billy pulled along the sidewalk next to my apartment building behind Heco's car. What was he doing here?! I sighed in relief, happy none the less to see my apartment. A smile crept across my face as I threw my half smoked cigarette out of the window and rolled up my window before taking off my seat belt.

I shrugged awkwardly, "Well... Thanks. I guess I owe you that much considering I ruined your date."

Billy smirked, "Don't be so sure."

I rolled my eyes in disgust as I looked back at Billy, "Have fun with that haggard ass bitch."

Billy finally stared at me, his expression blank as I turned to open the passenger door but Billy was too quick, locking the doors and extending his arm out in front of my chest, stopping me from getting out. I gritted my teeth as I tried to shove his arm out of my way.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hissed, struggling to move his arm from blocking my way.

"You're jealous." Billy stated, making me finally stop struggling against him.

I scoffed, "I am not jealous. Not even in the slightest."

"You're lying." Billy replied, challenging me.

Instead of arguing with him, I spun around and opened the passenger side door and climbed out of his car. Billy did the same making me stare back at him in confusion. Billy casually brushed passed me and headed towards my balcony. Reluctantly, I followed behind him and into my apartment where all of his gang, Christy and Joe sat at the kitchen table and on the couches. Jennifer caught my eye instantly. We both made eye contact and pointed at one another.

"What's SHE doing here?!" We both exclaimed at Christy.

Christy winced, "You're both my friends?"

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" I shouted as I kicked off my shoes and stormed through the living room.

"Amber..." Christy called out after me.

I was halfway down the hallway towards my bedroom when Jennifer called out after me, "Let's call truce?"

Slowly, I turned around on my heel and stared at her between squinted eyes, appalled that she was actually trying to talk to me right now. Billy made his way over to the empty chair at the kitchen table where Christy, Joe and Jamie were sitting, having beers and smoking cigarettes. Billy sat down and watched Jennifer and I both very closey in case something were about to happen - again.

"Truce?" I asked slowly, trying to fathom what she was trying to do here.

Jennifer smiled widely as she sat down on the arm rest of the couch next to Heco. The right side of her face was red and still a little puffy from the swelling while my face looked perfectly fine, no bruising, not cuts, no blood... my jaw hurt a little but other than that... I think I'm good.

"No hard feelings." She added, smiling sweetly.

"Shut the fuck up." I growled in annoyance.

"What's this bitch doing here?!" Megan exclaimed as she pushed open the slider screen door to the balcony and stepped down inside the apartment.

Jennifer rolled her eyes, "I'm trying to apologize."

"Yeah? how's your face?" Megan asked in a cocky tone making some of the guys chuckle. Jennifer instantly shut her mouth and looked away from Megan who was now staring at me, "How was jail?"

"I hate you." I chuckled, failing at being angry.

Megan smirked at me before turning and looking around at the crowded apartment. She winced and scratched the back of her neck, becoming awkward and uncomfortable. I couldn't blame her. All these guys in our house and not to mention that stupid bitch who got me put in the drunk tank a few hours ago. Way to go Christy for deciding to hold a fucking party here.

"Where's Jack?" I asked Megan, trying to kill the awkwardness for her.

"He's... right here." Megan replied awkwardly, poking her head out of the screen door and nodding towards the living room.

A tall, blue eyed, dirty blonde messy haired man walked in after her. He was incredibly good looking and looked pretty laid back. He wore a band t-shirt and a leather jacket, blue jeans and carried a guitar bag over his shoulder. This must be the infamous Jack Mercer of Megan's.

"Oh my God please tell me this isn't going to be another huge brawl?! Not in my living room!" Christy shouted from the kitchen table.

"Ah shut up. We're fine...right?" Megan asked Jack as she took his hand.

He nodded and flashed a smile at everyone, revealing his perfect white teeth. Megan's blue eyes twinkled as she stared up at Jack - who was a lot taller than her, in fact he towered over her - in awe. I'm not use to seeing what real love actually looks like... but if I had to guess, it'd be something like how Megan stares at Jack. Like how Christy stares at cocaine and I stare at pizza, I guess.

"Amber, this is Jack. Jack, Amber." Megan introduced us. Jack smiled and nodded at me, holding his hand out to shake.

"Nice to finally meet you, Jack." I smiled warmly, shaking Jack's hand.

Megan leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Why are they all here?"

I shrugged, "I don't know... I just got here."

"Is Christy skiing?" Megan asked in a hush whispered, referring to if Christy was 'snorting cocaine'.

"Would not fucking surprise me at this point. She sent that asshole Billy to pick me up from jail." I replied in a whisper.

Megan chuckled, "You must not know him well enough if you think he'd do anything that Christy told him to do. He did that on his own, bud."

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Heco asked Jack who's smile quickly disappeared.

"Shut the fuck up, Dicko." I snapped at Heco, mocking his stupid fucking name.

Heco stared at me taken back, "What the fuck did you just call me?"

"You heard me. So shut your stupid name ass up." I barked back.

Jack and Megan both stared at me with discomfort written across their faces. I sighed loudly and clicked my jaw as I turned and faced them both. Jack winced as he scratched the back of his neck while Megan was glaring at Christy from across the room. Megan and I are technically the only ones who paid rent this month since Christy somehow was "too broke" to do so. In reality she just spent all her money on booze and cocaine. There's not much I can say though... after all, this is her apartment and she did take me in when I had no where to go so for now I'm forced to keep my mouth shut.

"You guys gonna have some drinks or are you three going to stand by the balcony all night? It's creeping me out." Christy asked in annoyance.

"I don't know if you realize this or not... but I sleep on the pull out couch." Megan snapped.

"So?" Christy asked dully as she exhaled smoke from her mouth.

Megan sighed loudly before looking back at me, "Looks like Jack and I are gonna go to that 24 hour diner. Pancakes sound a lot better than sitting here with these fucks. Wanna come with us?"

I shook my head, "You guys are going to leave? You guys can come chill in my room until they leave." I suggested with a frown.

"Pancakes sound better than waiting for them to leave..." Jack replied with a weak smile.

I shrugged and nodded, agreeing with him, "True enough."

"So you gonna come with?" Megan asked cheerfully.

I shook my head 'no', "Nah... I've had a long night.. you know..." I started, staring back over at Jennifer who was now in Billy's lap at the kitchen table. "-With sitting in JAIL and ALL." I shouted.

"You started it, dumb bitch." I heard Jennifer mumble under her breathe.

Bodie jumped up off of the couch as I gritted my teeth and lunged towards the kitchen in hopes of punching that stupid bitch again. But Bodie jumped in front of me and Megan lunged forward, holding me back. Even Jack held out his arm to keep me from going forward.

"She ain't worth it... she ain't worth it." Bodie reassured me, trying to calm me down.

"Oh shit..." Joe mumbled.

"That's what she wants..." Bodie whispered, staring me dead in the eyes. "Don't give her the satisfaction."

I sighed and stepped back, nodding, agreeing with Bodie. Megan remained where she was, just in case I decided to try and run at Jennifer again. Jack gave me a pat on the back, nodding at me that I had made the right choice to not do anything to Jennifer.

"Just go get some sleep. Jack and I will bring you back some pancakes or something." Megan suggested, grabbing me by the shoulders and spinning me around to the direction of my room.

 

 

It had only been an hour since Megan and Jack left for the diner and I had went to sleep. It's now 3:04 am and I'm wide awake AGAIN because they're all being too loud. I sighed loudly and tossed and turned for a few more minutes, trying to fall back asleep but failed. Someone had just cranked the music even louder.

They're going to get us evicted...

I sat myself up in bed and blinked my eyes. I'm not even that tired but I was in a deep sleep until these loud assholes woke me up. I also don't need to have my home up for risk of getting evicted. I have to do something.

"For fuck sake." I grumbled as I pushed my blankets off of me and kicked my legs off over the edge of the bed.

After a few moments of just sitting there and contemplating if I should go back out there or not, I decided to just stay in my room. Suddenly the music got even louder than it was a few minutes ago. I flew off my bed and stomped over to my bedroom door, placing my hand on the doorknob and yanking my door open so hard that the doorknob hit the wall as I did so.

Without even so much as caring that I was only in a black sports bra and black spandex short shorts that volleyball players wear, I stormed angrily down the hallway and out into the living room where Billy's boys were. I started to curse under my breathe as I pulled out the stand that the stereo was on and ducked down, ripping the cord out of the wall and cutting the music.

I could feel everyone staring at my exposed body, but I didn't care. All I cared about was getting them to shut up and leave before they get Christy, Megan, Jack and I evicted from this building.

"What the fuck, Amber?!" Christy exclaimed in disappointment as she walked over to me.

"I don't know if you're too wired to realize this... but we have fucking neighbors and it's 3 in the fucking morning! You might be okay with getting kicked out and being homeless, but I sure as fuck ain't." I spat before brushing past Christy and storming back towards my bedroom.

My eyes caught Billy's blank but hard stare in my direction as I made my way back to my room. I almost blushed but I was too angry to feel any sort of embarrassment at this point. I sighed loudly as I got back into my room and slammed the door shut and flicked on the light. I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked over to where my purse was and opened it, digging through it to find my cigarettes and a lighter. I grab them both and sat down on my bed.

As I placed a cigarette in between my lips and held the lighter up to the end of my cigarette, I heard Christy's and everyone's voices outside my window. I lit the end of my cigarette and inhaled deeply before sighing in relief that they were leaving and slowly letting the cigarette smoke out of my mouth. A very small part of me was curious as to where they were all going so late but then again another huge part of me didn't even care. Christy can do what she wants and I'm just glad I have the place to myself for now.

It was nice to actually have a relaxing cigarette in silence. Until a loud bang at my bedroom door interrupted my moment. I groaned and put my cigarette out in the ashtray on my nightstand before jumping up off of my bed and walking over to the door.

"What?!" I hissed before opening the door to see Billy standing there.

A lump formed in my throat and my stomach started to knot as I stared up at him. I still don't know why seeing him sometimes makes me nervous. It's not even nervousness from knowing that he's a gang leader and a drug dealer that's feared by many. It's a different kind of nervousness. I hate that he makes me feel this way. I'm not suppose to be feeling anything around any guy. I'm done with men for awhile. I have to focus on starting a new chapter in a new city.

"What?" I asked softly and a lot calmer.

Billy leaned against the door frame, one arm up above his head, "You gonna thank me for getting ya out of the slammer?"

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek and folded my arms across my chest, "Not in the way that you're probably use to. But thanks. Now goodnight."

I was about to shut my bedroom door when Billy's free arm stopped the door from shutting. I sighed in annoyance and opened the door again and stared up at him, "Where's your whore?"

Billy smirked, "There's that jealousy again."

"I'm not fucking jealous for the last time. Now get out of my house." I spat angrily.

Billy ignored me and I watched as his eyes stared down at my half naked body. His eyes stopped on my rib cage, staring at the bruises I still had from Shane the night I left. I bit my lip nervously as I avoided eye contact with him. I felt extremely embarrassed and awkward knowing that Billy knew that the only reason I moved here was because my ex boyfriend beat me. Thanks to Christy's big mouth and outburst at the Four Roses a few weeks ago. I'm still mad at her for that.

"What you did earlier tonight to Jennifer was fucking stupid." Billy stated making me scoff.

"She started it by shoving me." I spat

"Still, ya shouldn't have done that." Billy replied with a chuckle, shaking his head.

"Is that a threat? Like am I suppose to be scared here?" I asked as I started looking around like I was surprised, "Because I'm not the one with the swollen face, now am I?"

"Not the point." He replied calmly.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed." I said, annoyed.

Billy didn't say anything, he just stared back down at my bruises on my ribs and stomach, "He do this to ya?" Billy asked, slightly nodding down at my stomach.

"That's none of your business. Now leave." I hissed defensively. "I know that I kissed you that night under the bridge, but don't think for a moment that it will ever happen again. I'm not like Jennifer or any other slut from the Four Roses that spread their legs for you at a snap of your fingers." I stated firmly, a serious look on my face as I said it.

"I know." Billy replied shortly, placing his hand on the side of my neck and caressing my jaw with his thumb, sending chills up my spine and making my knees tremble. "You're different than them."

"Is that what you say to everyone that you want to sleep with?" I asked narrowing my eyes, trying not to give in to him, "...like all the others?"

Billy stared down at me with a serious expression on his face, "You think I'd be chasin' ya if I thought you were like any of them?" He asked in a serious tone before picking me up off of my feet.

Without any thought, I wrapped my arms around behind Billy's neck and wrapped my legs around his waist as our lips crashed against each others. I closed my eyes as Billy deepened the kiss. Within seconds Billy carried me into my room like I was weightless, kicking the door shut behind him. Billy gently placed me down on my bed bed as he stood tall and pulled his shirt off, revealing all of his tattoos and his toned stomach muscles. I gulped a little as Billy leaned down and kissed me again before pulling away for a moment.

"You shouldn't get caught up with me. You're not cut out to be involved with me." Billy stated as he pulled off my short shorts.

"Don't underestimate me." I replied firmly as I pulled off my sports bra and went back to kissing Billy.

My mind told me to No and to stop while my heart told me yes, this is what I wanted. He's dangerous... he's a gang leader... he's everything that should make me want to stay away from him... but yet I can't keep myself from him. I know he's no good for me but yet here I am.

It's just sex right?... It's not like I'm going to fall in love with him...  
...At least I hope not, anyway.


	9. Chapter 8

Waking up was the last thing I wanted to do this morning. I've slept for a total of maybe, MAYBE, three hours. Considering Billy and I did everything except sleep... My eyes burned and it was a chore to keep my eyelids open. Yet here I was, wide awake. Just when I was really in a deep, wonderful sleep, Billy woke me up because he had to leave.

So here I am, laying here wide awake and depressed because I feel like a dirty whore that just got used for sex by someone that I allowed myself to fall right into his trap. Could I possibly be anymore stupid and naive than I already am? Oh here's a great idea! Let's jump into bed with a gang leader/drug dealer that is the reason you sat in jail for a few hours. Wait... no... jealousy caused that. God damn it. I totally was jealous.

Sighing, I decided to get out of bed and start my day since it's clear I'm not going to be able to fall back asleep anytime soon. I work night shift tonight too! Perfect. Sighing again, I pushed my blankets back and groaned as I sat up in bed and reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone. A yawn escaped my lips as I unlocked my phone. My contact list was open and the screen was still on a new contact that had been made.

A smile spread across my lips as I read the contact name out, "Billy Darley."

I went to set my phone back down on the nightstand but paused as I noticed a piece of paper sitting there that read 'I'll be there to get ya tonight'. Meaning Billy would be at the Four Roses to pick me up after work tonight. I pressed my tongue against my cheek, trying to keep myself from smiling like an idiot as I got out of bed and picked out clean clothes to wear after the shower I was about to have.

"How the hell are you awake already?" Megan asked as I walked towards the bathroom, leaning against the door frame.

Megan was sitting up on top of the bathroom vanity, her feet in the sink while she did her makeup in the mirror. The shower was running and a pile of Jack's clothes were on the bathroom floor, telling me that Jack was in the shower.

"I went to bed before you guys left." I reminded her.

Megan snorted, "Oh yeah?"

I shrugged, "Yeah."

Megan stopped applying her eyeliner and stared back at me through the mirror in front of her, "You realize that Jack and I came home at 3:30...." She started, smirking.

"Oh? I didn't even hear you guys come in..." I replied.

"That's because you couldn't hear us over yourself." Jack joined in on the conversation from inside the shower.

"Ohhhhh, Billyyyyyyyy...." Megan mocked me in a whining, moaning tone.

My eyes widened as my cheeks became a bright shade of red, I tried to find the right words to say but no words were coming out. Megan was staring at me through the mirror, a huge grin across her face and she even winked at me when she realized how embarrassed I had just become.

"That was probably Christy." I lied.

Megan snorted with laughter, dropping her eyeliner pencil because of how hard she had just laughed, "She's not a hoe... anymore. She wouldn't sleep with her man's brother. Speaking of which... be quiet, her and Joe are sleeping in her room."

"What?!" I exclaimed looking at Megan's phone on the bathroom sink/counter. "It's 10:00. She works at 11:30! I'm not covering for her and pulling two shifts just because she wont get out of bed."

Megan spun around on the counter and jumped down onto her feet. She glanced back over her shoulder to take one last look at herself in the mirror before she plugged in her straightener and parted her hair into three sections so that all of her hair is perfectly straightened properly.

"We should all look into getting a different place... there's three bedroom apartments in this area that are cheaper rent than this place is." Megan stated randomly as she picked up her straightener and began straightening her bottom half of her long black hair.

"Somewhere where Jack and you aren't sleeping out in the living room on a hide-a-bed?" I asked as I yawned.

"You're tired. He gave you the rain eh?" Megan asked with a chuckle.

I chuckled nervously, "I didn't know you guys were home..."

"Apparently neither did Billy..." Megan replied. "Jack and I were about to... you know... When Billy came out of your room this morning, zipping up his pants and Jack's on top of me."

"What!" I exclaimed before busting out into a fit of laughter.

Jack popped his head out of the shower curtain, his hair was flat from being wet and covering part of his face. Not going to lie, Jack's incredibly good looking and right now he's hard not to look at being drenched in water and AH oh my God, bad. That's Megan's man. But I mean eh... I ain't no hater. Apparently I just sound gangster in my own thoughts.

"True story." Jack replied flatly as he reached for a towel.

Jack slowly stepped out of the shower, revealing his toned stomach muscles and most perfect ass ever. I winced as I held my hands up, trying to block out a butt naked Jack who didn't seem to care that I was still standing in the bathroom doorway, talking to Megan. Instead he just casually wrapped the towel around his lower waist and walked over to Megan, leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek. Megan smirked and pulled her shirt up over her head and slipped her shorts off, spinning around and picking up a short strapless dress off of the counter.

"Woah, woah, woah." I said turning my head away, "...Jesus you guys."

"Sorry Amber." Jack apologized with a goofy, shit eating grin across his face.

I rolled my eyes but cracked a smile as it was hard not too, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Megan took a deep breathe as she slipped the dress on. Megan's around my weight, she's thin and a few inches shorter than me. The dress was fitted but I could tell Megan felt uncomfortable in it as she examined herself in the bathroom mirror. She let out a deep breathe and shook her head from side to side.

"Bitch I can't breathe in this. This... this is just not... this... this is a hot mess." Megan stated in a sassy tone.

Jack leaned his head back slightly and sighed in annoyance, "Babe you look fine..."

"Jack, I can't fucking breathe. I feel like Precious!" Megan exclaimed, staring at Jack wide eyed in disbelief that he was trying to tell her any different.

Megan spun around on her heel and looked at me, "I'm gonna have to quit Domino's. I'm turning into a big fat tub of guts."

Jack and I both stared at each other and rolled our eyes before looking back over at Megan who was now trying to suck the non existent gut that she does not have. But... like all girls, we all find some sort of wrong with our bodies. Like me for instance. I'm thin, medium height and to others I seem like I have the 'ideal body' considering I can pretty much eat whatever I want without gaining weight. However, I wish I had big boobs such as Christy's - even though her's are implants that she's still making payments on = and I wish I had a Jennifer Lopez ass... But you know, instead of going to a gym and doing squats... I eat pizza and complain.

"You're far from fat, skinny Minnie. " I stated with a sigh.

"Lord Jesus somebody go get me some sweatpants before I exhale and I blow this dress to shreds!" Megan exclaimed, being even more dramatic than before.

"Why do you even have to wear that anyways? We're going to dinner and a movie then the Four Roses tonight." Jack asked with a shrug.

Megan narrowed her eyes into a glare and slowly shook her head at him, "Oh I'm sorry your big buffalo of a girlfriend just wanted to look nice for you..."

"Megan... That's not what I meant... I just-" Jack started.

"Jack! Go get me some proper clothes before I flip!" Megan interrupted him.

I smirked as I stepped back out of Jack's way as he made his way out of the bathroom, shaking his head at Megan as he did so. Megan glared at him as he left. I finally walked into the bathroom and placed my clean clothes that I was going to wear after my shower, down on the counter and ran my fingers through my hair as another yawn escaped my mouth.

"A friend of my posted this photo on Facebook, of a group of girls carrying a white coffin... a friend of their's passed and the photo was captioned 'Goals: your best friends carrying your coffin." Megan explained randomly.

"...Wearing this dress made me realize that if I ever wanted that, I'd have to call a tow truck to carry my coffin."

"Oh fuck off..." I replied, holding back my laughter.

Megan smirked as she gave me a light nudge in the arm with her elbow.

"You gonna go wake Christy up or can I go in there with a metal spoon and a pot?" Megan asked as she began to take the dress off.

I sighed loudly, "I wanted to shower... but I better wake her up so that Sammy doesn't start calling, expecting me to go in and cover her shift."

Megan shrugged and nodded in agreement before picking her straightener back up and going back to straightening her hair. I clicked my jaw and stormed out of the bathroom, down the hallway and stopping in front of Christy's closed bedroom door. I sighed and banged loudly on the door three times, pausing and waiting for her or Joe to answer the door. When no one answered, I pounded my fist even louder against the door, three more times.

"Christy... time to get up. You have to work in like an hour." I called out, knocking on the door a couple more times. "Christy?!"

Sighing, I turned to my side, placed one hand on the doorknob and the other flat against the door and then slammed my body up against the door, sending it flying open. I staggered a little as I let go of the door handle and tried to regain my balance. Joe sat up in bed slowly, his eyes squinted as he raised his arms behind his head and yawned loudly.

"Sorry Amber, didn't hear you knocking..." Joe said softly as he leaned over and reached for his phone on the nightstand beside the bed. "...Fuck..." He grumbled as he read all the texts on his phone.

"...Do you know where my brother is?" He asked me dully.

I shrugged, "...How would I know where your brother is?"

Joe shrugged as well, "True enough I suppose..."

A sigh of relief escaped my lips as Joe said what he said. That means unlike Jack and Megan, him and Christy don't have a clue about what happened between Billy and I early, early this morning.

"Christy... wake up." I stated as I placed a hand on her shoulder a shook her slightly.

Joe climbed out of bed and picked up his jeans from the floor and slipped them on, staring back at me from over his shoulder, watching as I fought to wake Christy up. He pulled his shirt on over his head and made his way over to Christy's makeup vanity, grabbing his leather jacket that was hanging over her makeup chair. He threw it on and dug into one of the pockets, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and placing a cigarette in between his lips.

"Christy... come the fuck on. You have to get up and get ready!" I exclaimed, shaking her even harder.

"Fuck off...." Christy groaned, pulling the blanket up over her head.

"Dude, get the fuck out of bed. Seriously." I said sternly as I gritted my teeth and yanked the blankets right off of her, carelessly throwing them onto the floor.

Christy growled as she sat up and kicked her legs off of the bed and stood tall, "Seriously?! How the fuck is it already time to get up? We just went to bed."

Joe lit the end of his cigarette and took a long, hard drag before walking over to the both of us, "We went to bed at 8 this morning... time flies when you're tired apparently." He stated, letting smoke slowly out of his mouth.

My eyes scanned around Christy's room, landing upon a small baggy of cocaine on her nightstand next to her bed. I pressed my tongue against my cheek and sneakily scooped up the baggy in my hand and walked over to her already open window and pretended I was checking how the weather was. Without giving it any thought, I tossed the baggy out the window before turning back around and staring at the two of them.

"Did you snort the rest of my shit last night?" Christy asked Joe, referring to the cocaine I just tossed out the window.

Joe rolled his eyes as he ashed his cigarette in a random ashtray on top of Christy's dresser. Christy sighed loudly in annoyance as she brushed past Joe - who ignored her question - and began to dig through her dresser drawers for clean clothes to wear to work today. She then stormed past me and began to dig around her room looking for the obvious...

"For fuck sake, Joe! Seriously? I'm tired and I stayed up until 8 in the fucking morning. A line would have been fucking nice to make it through the day." Christy shouted, shaking her head in annoyance.

Joe rolled his eyes, "I didn't fucking snort your shit. You're so bad into the shit you're blaming others now."

Christy scoffed, "Excuse me?"

"Well it's true. Maybe try sleeping once in your fucking life. No one told you that you had to come with me last night." Joe retorted.

"Fuck you. Get out of my house." Christy spat coldly.

Joe shrugged, "Fine. Be a hormonal bitch. See ya later." He hissed as he stormed past Christy and left the room.

Christy sighed deeply as she ran her fingers through her hair and clicked her jaw before looking over at me, "Sorry about that... can I have one of your redbull's in the fridge? I'm going to need something if I have to put up with Sammy and Amanda all day."

I nodded, "Go for it."

"Thanks..." Christy thanked me slowly.

Without saying anything, I nodded, acknowledging her gratitude as I made my way out of the room. Megan and Jack were both sitting on the couch, watching something on TV and Joe was no where in sight, meaning he was serious about leaving.

I went into the bathroom, stripped down and turned the water on. I sighed in relief as the warm water hit my body. Without warning, Christy walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. I closed my eyes as I sighed in annoyance before popping my head out the curtain to see who it was. When I noticed that it was just Christy, I pulled my head back in and continued my shower.

Christy started to apply her makeup as fast as she could so that she'd have enough time to style her infamous mohawk-pony tail that I found that she was one of the only few girls that could pull that look off.

"What time are Megan and Jack going out tonight?" Christy asked as she fooled around with her hair.

"How should I know?" I asked from inside the shower.

"Well, I know you work at 8:30.. so if they're both gone and I'm at work, you're gonna have to call a taxi to get to work." Christy stated dully.

"I know?" I replied, turning off the water taps and climbing out of the shower, not caring if Christy saw me naked as it wouldn't be the first time. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body.

"So just make sure you get to work safely okay? Lock the doors when Meg and Jack leave and just be safe... if you need anything, call me at the bar okay?" Christy lectured.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes mom."

Christy smirked as she lightly punched me in the arm, "I care about you, ya dumb bitch."

"Apparently." I replied, jokingly.

"Christy! Your cab is here!" Megan called out from the living room.

Christy sighed, "Lovely... alright. I better get going. I'll see you tonight at work, okay?"

I nodded as Christy opened the bathroom door, pausing before walking out of the bathroom and looking back over her shoulder at me, "You know... I'm really glad you're here Amber. I missed you."

"I missed you too, Chris." I replied with a warm smile.

"Things will get better... I promise." Christy stated before leaving the bathroom.

I think they might already be getting better...

Image

Meanwhile, Joe had met up with his brother and was in the passenger seat of Billy's car, smoking a cigarette and trying to ignore the lecture his brother had just given him.

"Bones body shop...?" Joe groaned as he read the sign on the building in front of where his brother had just pulled into.

Billy had just sped into a gravel parking lot to what looked to be a chop shop of some sort. Billy had stopped and grabbed the backpack from earlier from Heco before he picked up Joe from Joe's apartment and they both arrived here.The surrounds consisted of huge stacks of tires of all kinds, a yard full of cars, some looked to be drive-able while others looked like they were just being stored there until they could be fixed.

Billy ignored Joe's question and grabbed the backpack before turning the car off, making the music go off with it. He tightened his jaw as he looked over at Joe.

"Stay in the car." He said sternly.

Joe rolled his eyes, "He's my dad too... I can handle his shit."

"I'm fuckin' serious this time. Stay in the car." He spat.

Joe huffed and slid back in his seat, staring out the window instead of arguing with him, "Fine."

Billy sniffled again before climbing out of the car, slamming the drivers door shut behind him. Joe sighed loudly as he watched Billy casually strut towards the door to the chop shop. A grey pit bull came running out of nowhere, snapping at Billy, but was stopped and pulled back by its steel chain that restricted it from coming any closer to Billy. Billy didn't even seem fazed by the dog, instead he just took one last drag off his cigarette, staring down at the dog and flicking his cigarette on the ground.

Billy walked inside of his fathers shop, noticing that some of the mechanics were already here at the shop. Sparks flew in Billy's direction from the bay that one mechanic was using a grinder on a rusty fender. The mechanic noticed Billy and instantly stopped grinding the rusty fender stopping and pulling his face mask up, "Hey yo Billy!". Billy gave the man a nod of acknowledgement and continued over to the back of the body shop to his fathers desk that had shotgun shells, an unloaded shotgun and some other guns spread across it. Billy flung the backpack that was over his shoulder just moments ago, on to Bones desk carelessly.

"Watch the fucking pieces!" Bones hollered from a few feet away, slamming his gun cabinet shut. "For Christ sake, they're worth somethin' unlike you".

Bones puffed as he waddled over to his desk, "Where the fuck you been Nancy?" Bones questioned as he picked up the backpack and emptied it on his desk, a couple small wads of cash falling out.

"What in the fuck is this?!" Bones spat looking up at Billy.

"That's our night." Billy replied sternly pointing at the money, becoming tense. Bones stared back down at the money and then back up at Billy, glaring in disbelief as he licked his lips.

"When I take pity on you and your faggot half-wit friends, give you a couple corners to run.. you better deliver for me. Or I'll know you've been stealing and I'll kill you." Bones threatened as he picked up a pistol from his desk.

"You could be the Prince of Payan-" Bones started, unloading the pistol, sending the shell flying towards Billy, who jumped from being startled. "-You fucking light bag me, I'll fucking kill you!" Bones hollered as a couple other shells flew out at Billy and on to the ground. Bones picked up Billy's back pack and chucked it at him. Billy tightened his jaw as he caught the back pack, slowly nodding his head from nervousness. It was clear why Billy was the way he was and that the only man Billy ever feared is Bones.

"...Lord knows I've been patient." Bones added in a mumble. Billy, like a scared puppy stared down at the ground as Bones switched a pair of glasses on his face. "Yes. You can get the fuck out of my sight now."

Image

The night had come and I was finally left all alone again. I wasn't complaining though, I was enjoying my alone time. I had spent all afternoon cleaning the apartment, doing laundry and cooking. Megan and Jack had left over an hour ago to go out for dinner and catch a movie afterwards. I was going to meet up with Jack and Megan and Christy as well at the Four Roses.

Now it was almost time to call my cab as I work at 8:30. Yet here I was, finishing my makeup and blasting 'Cemetery Gates' by Pantera while I got ready. I smirked as I picked up my phone to call a taxi. I couldn't help but be excited to see Billy tonight as he left a note that he was going to pick me up from work tonight.

As much as I know that I shouldn't be involved with him... I can't help myself. I came here for a fresh start and to make a new life for myself. This is okay... as long as I don't fall for him or something silly like that.

"Time to call a cab and head to that shit hole I work at..." I said out loud, followed by a sigh.

As I walked out of my bedroom, I began to dial the taxi cab company's number as I made my way out into the living room. I scrunched my nose as I sniffed the smell of cigarette smoke floating throughout the air. I stopped dead in my tracks as I slowly looked up at where the cigarette smoke was coming from. My body froze and my phone fell out of my hands down onto the carpet. My face dropped as a lump formed in my throat.

"Well, don't you look fucking fancy." Shane said sarcastically as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table in front of him. Shane stood up and slowly walked over to me.

Tears began to swell in the corners of my eyes as fear coursed it's way through my veins. My needs were trembling and my stomach knotted, making me feel like I was about to throw up. Shane smirked evilly as he approached me, seeing the fear in my eyes.

"Oh...have I ever missed you." He chuckled evilly.


	10. Chapter 9

"Where the hell is Amber?!" Christy asked Jack and Megan who just walked through the doors of the Four Roses.

Jack shrugged and Megan cocked an eyebrow, "She's not here yet?"

Christy shook her head, "No... she's usually here by now for her shift."

Jack sat down on a bar stool at the bar, glancing over at Billy's table where Billy, Joe and the rest of his boys sat. Jack was nervous around them considering Heco wasn't exactly welcoming last night. Jack glanced back over at the table where Billy was at, noticing that Billy seemed to be giving his younger brother, Joe, some sort of hell. Joe's facial expression showed annoyance while Billy's was cold and stern.

"Call her?" Megan asked rolling her eyes at Christy.

"We've been trying..." Ramona answered, hanging up the bar phone.

"Maybe she's showering?" Jack asked dully.

Christy started to worry as she pulled out her cellphone from her pocket and leaned against the bar, dialing my number. Megan took off her jacket and pulled out her cellphone as well, spam texting me multiple times to see if I'd answer her texts at least.

Ramona sighed and went back to pouring shots for Billy and his boys. Amanda was already here and was already unimpressed that she was basically covering for me until I get here. Both Megan and Christy continued to try and get a hold of me.

"Billy..." Joe started, annoyed and trying to get his brother to be rational.

"You're fuckin' doin' the shit more than you're selling it." Billy hissed as he picked up a burning candle on the table and used it to light the cigarette that dangled between his lips as he spoke.

"Listen to Billy, Joey. Bones is pissed." Bodie joined in on the lecture.

Joe sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair, "When do I get to join? Maybe that's what my problem is. I'm not interested in it since I'm not really in it...."

"You'll join when I say ya can." Billy barked.

"You haven't even let me do my initi-"

"I said, I'll tell ya when you're ready." Billy said flatly, exhaling smoke out of his mouth.

Before Joe could protest, Billy's eyes scanned around the table noticing that Joe and the rest of his boys were looking up and staring at Christy who was now climbing over Heco and Tommy, reaching for her purse and jacket. Billy stayed silent and just looked around, noticing that Ramona and Amanda were panicking behind the bar while Jack and Megan were both impatiently waiting for Christy to grab her belongings.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked Christy.

Christy huffed, trying to catch her breathe, "It's Amber. I have to go."

"What's wrong?" Joe asked again, this time standing up from his chair.

"Come on, hurry up! We have to go!" Megan exclaimed, suddenly appearing next to the table.

"What's wrong with Amber?" Bodie asked, making Megan look at him confused and taken back that he was asking.

"She's not answering... she's not here yet either and it's not like her..." Megan answered quietly.

Megan swallowed the lump in her throat before clearing her throat, "...You don't think that-"

"Shane..." Christy whispered nervously.

Billy's eyes shot up at Megan as he pressed his cigarette down in the ashtray, putting it out. Christy chewed on her bottom lip nervously as she dialed my cell number one last time. Billy's jaw tightened as he watched Christy sigh and end the call when I never answered. Megan sighed and sprinted after Jack towards the bar exit. Christy muttered curse words under her breathe as she threw on her jacket and purse over her shoulder, turning on her heel to follow after Jack and Megan.

Billy grabbed Christy by the upper arm, pulling her back towards him. Joe's eyes instantly landed on his brother, watching him closely. Christy stared up at Billy with fear in her eyes. Megan and Jack both stopped dead in their tracks and stared at Billy appalled.

"Does he know where ya live?" Billy asked sternly - referring to Shane.

Christy gulped and nodded her head up and down. Billy gritted his teeth as he let go of Christy and turned around, staring back at all of his boys. Billy didn't even have to say anything, they all stood up and threw on their jackets and followed Billy outside of the bar.

Billy climbed into the drivers seat of his car with Bodie, Jamie and Tommy climbing in through the passenger door. Bodie nodded at Heco as he pushed the passenger seat back and climbed into the passenger seat of Billy's car. Heco climbed into his own car while Dog and Spink climbed into the backseat of Heco's car and Baggy climbing into the passenger seat of Heco's car. Billy put his car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot, Heco following right behind him.

"They're heading to your place." Joe stated dully.

"We have to get home. NOW!" Christy shouted, ripping open the passenger side door of Jack's car and climbing in the backseat with Joe.

\-----------------------------

Completely frozen, I whimpered as Shane softly placed his hand on the side of my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I cringed at his touch but was also too petrified to do anything. Shane leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I shut my eyes and whimpered again. Shane pulled his head away from mine and smiled maliciously.

"Time to come home." He whispered.

"N..No.." I whimpered out before yanking myself back away from him. "Stay away from me!"

Shane rolled his eyes before taking two long struts towards me and grabbing me roughly by my arm and dragging me towards him. I let out a yelp as I struggled to yank my arm out of his grasp. Without hesitation or giving it much thought, I hooked my right leg around Shane's, causing him to stumble and trip over his own feet. Naturally, Shane lost his grip on me as he fell face first into the carpet. I jumped over Shane and ran towards the kitchen. Shane growled as he pushed himself up and reached for my ankle, tugging me back and causing me to fall forward on the cold, hard kitchen floor. Luckily for me, I was smart enough to turn my head to the side as I fell therefor avoiding my face slamming down onto the floor and intentionally breaking my nose.

"HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Shane grabbed me by the shoulders and rolled me over onto my back so that I was staring up at him as he climbed on top of me, straddling me as he pinned both my arms above my head with only one of his hands. Shane pulled back his right hand and back handed me across the face. As his hand collided with the side of my jaw, I bit down on my lip, drawing blood.

"HELP!" I screamed again, tears pouring out of my eyes.

"YOU TRIED TO FUCKING KILL ME?! I TREATED YOU GOOD!" Shane hollered as loud as he could as he placed his free hand around my throat.

The more Shane applied pressure onto my throat and the tighter his grip became, the more I realized that he was literally actually going to succeed in killing me this time. His eyes were bulging out his skull and he was gritting his teeth.Shane let go of my wrist and clamped his hand down on the other side of my neck - choking me even worse than he already was. My hands clenched around Shane's wrists, trying to pry his hands off of my throat. I could feel my eyes watering as my breathing became slower and slower. My mouth was dry and I was gasping for air.

My hands fell limp, letting go of Shane's wrists and I arched my back slightly as I slowly closed my eyes. Suddenly, just when I thought that I should just give up on fighting for my life against Shane - the familiar sound of two engines roaring towards my apartment building sounded throughout the area. Instead of giving up, I wrapped my hands around Shane's wrists and used all my strength to roll over, bringing Shane with me. I could hear Billy and Heco's car's idling outside my apartment building.

Shane stopped what he was doing as the sound of someone pounding on the front door, interrupted Shane. Shane slowly climbed off of me and grabbed me by the back of my neck, pulling me up to my feet. A wicked, sly grin formed from the corners of my mouth as Shane slowly led me towards the door.

"Amber! Open the fucking door!" Billy shouted from outside the door.

"...Get rid of him." Shane instructed in a whisper as he pulled out the same pocket knife that I had cut him with on the night that I left. "Do anything stupid and I'll slit your throat." Shane hissed in a harsh whisper as he placed the blade of the switchblade against my neck, slightly applying pressure.

I winced and slowly made my way towards the front door, with Shane still holding the blade against my throat. The pressure was there but it wasn't enough to draw blood. However, one quick swipe and I'd be a goner.

"Amber?!" Billy roared.

"Billy..." I whimpered out.

"Amber open the fucking door." Billy demanded, lowering his tone.

"I..I... I'm fine Billy. I'm just sick..." I lied.

"Get rid of him...now." Shane growled as he slightly added more pressure on the blade.

"Now isn't a good time, Billy." I called out, holding back tears.

There was a long pause before Billy finally spoke, "Fine."

Oh God, no... please don't leave

Shane smirked and pulled the blade away from my throat. I sighed in relief as he folded the switchblade and slipped it back into the back pocket of his jeans. Shane still had a handful of my hair and was slowly dragging me with him as he carefully and quietly stepped back away from the door. I closed my eyes and a small whimper escaped my lips. I'm going to die.

"No one to help you, baby." Shane chuckled quietly.

Suddenly, the door swung open sending the doorknob right through the wall causing pieces of drywall dust to fly around. The door had completely come off of the top door hinge and was hanging by a thread from the bottom hinges. Shane's jaw fell agape as he stared at the man who had just kicked the door open.

"Billy!" I screeched.


	11. Chapter 10

Shane gulped as he quickly dug into his jeans and pulled out the switchblade. I winced at the sound of the switchblade springing open, knowing that at any moment he was going to either slit my throat or press the sharp blade against the flesh on my throat. Sure enough, he pressed it against my throat, applying pressure. Anymore and he would have drawn blood.

"I'll fucking kill her. Beat it." Shane threatened.

Billy, being Billy - not one to ever be intimidated, given the fact that he's a feared gang leader - stomped over towards us. I shut my eyes tight, waiting for the blade to slide across my neck. Thanks Billy. Thanks for not listening to someone who's holding me hostage and threatening to kill me. Oh and thanks for breaking my door. You've been a real pal!

Billy was wearing dark washed jeans, black biker boots, a black long sleeve shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and his infamous silver cross necklace dangled from around his neck. His eyes were wild with anger, his jaw clenched so tight that you could see the muscles in his face, his chest heaving in and out as he took long strides towards us. He was enraged to say the very least.

A small whimper escaped my lips as Shane took a few steps back, pulling me with him by my hair. Billy reached behind him and pulled out a shiny silver pistol, cocking it and aiming it up eye level with both Shane and I. My knees trembled and I forced myself to refrain from collapsing as Shane shook and pulled the knife away from my throat. The grip he had on my hair loosened and Shane slowly took another step back away from me.

The screen door on the balcony was yanked open and in piled all of Billy's boys followed by Christy, Joe, Megan and Jack. Billy stormed past me, hooking his arm around me before shoving me over towards Christy who ran at me, arms wide open as she pulled me into a tight hug. Not caring if I appeared weak or not, I began to sob into Christy's shoulder. Christy caressed my back and started to cry herself. For awhile now I've felt as if Christy was no longer the Christy I've known for years - my best friend. Now I feel stupid, of course she's still my best friend and of course she still does care about me. Christy is an addict, whether I like to admit that or not, she needs help. As much as she pisses me off, I'm not about to abandon her just because she's been cold towards me lately.

Shane's eyes widened as he glanced at all of the people who had just piled inside of the apartment before glancing back over at the end of Billy's gun that was now pressed against Shane's temple. Billy's boys all surrounded behind Shane, trapping him. Shane's face fell and he began to shake like a scared puppy. Billy turned his head and glanced over at me, his gaze on me felt like he was staring a hole right through me. Billy turned his back over to Shane and applied more pressure on the gun pressed against Shane's forehead.

"You're in my fucking end of the sewer now, Buddy." Billy stated loudly, finally speaking.

Megan and Jack both ran up to Christy and I, taking hold of both of us and leading us out the balcony and away from the apartment building. I inhaled a shaky breathe as I peered back at the apartment from over my shoulder. Jack was the only one who caught me glancing back there. He reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that we had to go. I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded agreeing with him.

"I told you what was going to happen if he ever came after you." Christy whispered as she took me by the wrist and led me towards Jack's car.

Megan stared up at Jack and they both winced before turning and looking at Christy, "Is baldy gonna pop Shane?"

"If he doesn't, I'm going to." Christy hissed.

But before any more questions could be asked or anything more could be said, Shane was literally tossed out onto the grass. His shirt was ripped near the collar and blood was gushing from his nose, but he was alive, thankfully. I know he's a prick and literally probably would have killed me if it weren't for Billy kicking my door in and stopping him, but I'm not about to have someone murdered because of me, even if they do deserve it. But judging by how fast he's running to his vehicle, tells me he got quite the beating inside and that he wouldn't be bothering me anymore unless he has a death wish.

Jamie and Heco both did some type of yell, sounding like excited savages. Megan and Jack both sighed in relief as they watched Shane speed off in the distance. Christy narrowed her eyes into a glare and scoffed, unimpressed that Shane wasn't dead. I didn't really care at this point, I was just glad that he was gone and that I was still alive.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Megan exclaimed.

I nodded, acknowledging her comment. But instead of saying anything, I brushed past both her and Christy and started to walk back towards the apartment.

"Where are you going?!" Christy called out.

I didn't answer her, instead I picked up my pace and leaped down into the apartment and hurried over to Billy who was standing there, his back facing me. He glanced at me from over his shoulder before snorting loudly and wiping his mouth off with his arm. His boys stopped cheering and watched as I did the unexpected and wrapped my arms around Billy, resting my head against his chest.

"Thank you." I whispered, closing my eyes in hopes of preventing myself from crying in front of all of them.

Bodie cocked an eyebrow and pointed at Billy and me as he stared over at Joe. Joe just shrugged, unsure of what it was that they were witnessing. Billy didn't embrace me back and frankly I didn't care. I just held onto him, thankful for him as he had just saved my life. I took a short breathe as I opened my eyes and looked up at Billy who looked at a loss for words and clearly taken back by what I was doing. I exhaled a short breathe as I pulled away from Billy. I don't know what I was doing but something inside of me made me stand up on my tip toes and place both of my hands on the sides of his neck and gently kiss his cheek.

Billy's back straightened out as he looked over at his boys who were all confused as to why I had just done that. Obviously none of them know what happened between Billy and I in this very apartment. A sly smirk formed on Bodie's lips as he finally put two and two together and nodded over at Joe who walked over to him. I watched as Bodie whispered something to Joe and Joe shot us a look of shock before whispering "Well now it all makes sense."

"Yo dawg... we gon' go and take care of the business." Bodie piped up.

Billy, still speechless, nodded.

"How are they all gonna fit in Heco's car?" Christy hissed as she came back inside.

"Not ya fuckin' concern." Billy growled.

Joe rolled his eyes at Billy before turning and looking at Christy who was glaring at Billy, "I'm staying here with you. Tommy, Dog and Spiink are gonna be selling at locations just in walking distance from here."

"Learn to shut ya mouth, kid." Heco growled, shaking his head in disbelief as he dug into his pocket for his car keys.

Megan embraced me in a huge hug, pulling me away from everyone else. Even though Jack and Megan were both telling me about how they were so worried about me and what not, I couldn't help but be focused on Bodie and Baggy who were standing next to Billy. I watched as Billy pulled out a cigarette from his pack and placed it between his lips.

"Take care of what I told ya to do." Billy said, the cigarette dangling from his lips as he spoke.

"You bet, Billy." Baggy replied, nodding along with Bodie.

"Amber?" Megan asked, making me break my gaze over at Billy and snap my head back towards her. "You listening?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

Megan smirked, folding her arms across her chest as she stared over at Billy who was now stepping out onto the balcony, leaving. Christy and Joe went into Christy's room, hopefully doing anything besides snorting lines. I sighed loudly as I ran my fingers through my hair.

Jack smirked as he wrapped his arm around Megan who was looking back at me in amusement, "Go."

"Huh?"

"Go after him." Megan chuckled, raising her eyebrows as if she expected me to know what she was referring to.

"I.. I.. I can't." I stuttered.

"Why not?" Megan asked, narrowing her eyes into a glare.

"Because, If I go after him... well, I'll be going after him. I can't do that." I murmured.

"You already are." Jack interrupted.

Megan placed her hand on my shoulder and shoved me back slightly, "Go."

Without hesitation and without any thought on the matter, I turned on my heel and sprinted out of the apartment. My sprint quickly turned into a full on run as I noticed Billy sitting inside of his car and fire it up. I panted as I reached the passenger side door, ripping it open and climbing in.

Billy lit the cigarette between and carelessly tossed his lighter on the dash before looking at me. I just sat straight, staring directly out the window, unsure of what the fuck it was that I was doing. I exhaled slowly and nodded to myself as I reached my right hand up and grabbed the seat belt, pulling it down and buckling myself in.

Billy yanked the cigarette out between his lips and stared over at me, "What the fuck ya doin?"

"I'm coming with you. Wherever it is that you're going." I replied dully. "Besides, I did pretty good that night I sold for you under the bridge."

Billy let out a short laugh, "I ain't goin' there tonight."

I shrugged, "Well... where are you going then? I don't want to be here tonight."

"Goin' somewhere you ain't ever been." Billy replied shortly, raising his eyebrows for a quick second before pulling down the gear from park to drive.

\-------------------------------

I knew right away that this was Billy's apartment building just by how he pulled into a tenants only parking space labeled '305'. Billy didn't say anything as he climbed out of his car and me being awkward and unsure of what to say or do, I just followed behind him. I couldn't help but watch Billy all the way up the flights of stairs. Billy didn't even bother to look at me until we reached the third floor where he briefly glanced back at me to make sure that I was still behind him. Being an awkward weirdo, I smiled at him weakly. Billy tightened his jaw as he turned his attention back down to the door knob, unlocking it and walking inside the dark apartment.

Billy flicked on the light that lit up the entrance way and the hallway that led to what I assumed would be his bathroom and then his bedroom. I followed behind Billy into his apartment and became strangely nervous around him as he turned and brushed past me, shutting the door behind me and locking it. Billy kicked off his boots and I took off my shoes before following him down the long hallway. I caught a glimpse of his bathroom as we passed by it. To my surprise, the apartment, from what I could see, appeared to be clean... almost too clean. He either was one to not like a mess or he was ever hardly here.

I gulped slightly as we walked into Billy's room. He didn't bother to flick on the light, instead he just plopped down on his bed and turned on a small lamp on the nightstand beside his bed. My eyes scanned around the room. I was surprised to see a few band posters tacked up on the wall. My eyes then looked over at the nightstand, I almost giggled at his overflowing ashtray. Billy is definitely a heavy smoker. Then my eyes of course landed on Billy who was staring at his phone screen, texting someone. Probably one of his boys.

I felt awkward standing by his door, stunned and unsure of what to do or say. Billy stopped texting and sat his phone down on the nightstand before staring up at me with a blank expression. My cheeks became warm from a mixture of embarrassment and nervousness as I broke eye contact with him and glanced over at his Pantera poster on the wall, pretending that I wasn't being stunned and that I was actually just standing here because I was admiring the poster on his wall.

Billy raised his eyebrows at my stupidity before digging into his pocket and pulling out his cigarette pack, "You gonna stand there all night?" He asked, finally speaking.

"No... I was just looking at your posters." I chuckled nervously as I made my way over to his bed and sat down at the end of his bed. I sighed loudly, "Thank you again, Billy..."

"For what?" Billy asked as he exhaled smoke from his mouth and I heard him flick his cigarette, ashes falling into the ashtray on the nightstand beside his bed.

I scoffed and stared back at him, "For saving my life."

Billy smirked, slightly shaking his head, "If ya scared of some little fucker like that with a knife then I was right about ya."

"Right about what?" I hissed, spinning around and sitting cross legged at the end of his bed, now facing him.

"Ya ain't cut out to be involved with me." He answered flatly as he reached over and put his cigarette out in the ashtray.

I scoffed again and crawled over to him and climbing on top of him so that I was straddling him. Billy stared up at me blankly, placing his hands on my hips. I bit my bottom lip as I ground myself down on Billy. A sly smirk formed from the corners of his mouth as I leaned down, my face only inches away from his.

"And I told you not to underestimate me." I reminded him before our lips crashed against each others.

Billy sat up straight with me still straddling him. He deepened the kiss, kissing me roughly as his hands roamed up from my hips up under my shirt. His touch sent goosebumps up along my skin as he pulled my shirt up, breaking the kiss to pull the shirt off over my head and throw it across the room without care. Billy's hands cupped the front of my lace bra as he placed his mouth against my neck, kissing my neck softly before sucking on the skin gently. A small moan escaped from my mouth as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back slightly.

I felt Billy laugh against my skin as he heard me moan. I bit my bottom lip as Billy unclasped my bra and pulled it off down my arms and again, tossed it across the room. His hands cupped my breasts as I tugged at the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up and yanking it off of him. I moved myself against Billy, feeling him become aroused. I smirked as Billy grunted a little and pushed me off of him, down on my back beside him. I was taken back at first, wondering if I had done something wrong. I was about to stay something when Billy jumped off of his bed and walked around to the foot of the bed, leaning down towards me and unbuttoning my pants and pulling them off of me roughly.

My eyes roamed Billy's shirtless body, staring at his toned stomach muscles and then up at all of his tribal tattoos. Billy took off his belt and tossed it onto the floor before unbuttoning his pants. My breathing became heavy as I watched him then unzip his jeans. Next thing I knew, Billy placed his hands on my hips and yanked me down towards the edge of the bed. A small surprised gasp escaped my lips as Billy pulled my panties off in one swift movement and placed his hand on the bed beside my head while his other hand yanked my legs open and pulled my thong to the side and he slipped two fingers inside of me.

A loud moan came out of my mouth and I arched my back as Billy moved his fingers further into me. My knees shook as my legs startled to tremble. Billy grinned evilly before leaning back down and kissing me roughly. I tried my hardest to kiss him back but I couldn't so I pulled my face away from his and gasped, "Oh my fucking God." I murmured.

I was moaning loudly now, not realizing that the more I moaned the more satisfaction Billy gained and continued doing it. I whimpered loudly as I placed my hands on Billy's upper arms and dug my nails into his flesh. Billy smirked against, this time pulling his fingers out of me and before I knew it he pulled down his boxers and slammed into me. I gasped in shock as he entered me, closing my eyes again and my mouth falling agape.

Billy's pace went from slow but slamming into me hard to fucking me fast and harder with every thrust. I gripped onto the sheet underneath of me and tried to quiet myself down as I was now moaning loudly and uncontrollably. A smug look formed on Billy's face as he stared down at me, watching me tremble underneath him. He leaned down and crashed his lips on top of mine, kissing me roughly and slipping his tongue inside my mouth as soon as I moaned, giving him the chance to do so.

"Billy..." I whimpered out.

Billy didn't say anything, instead he just picked up his pace even faster than he was already going. My toes curled and my back arched as I gripped onto the sheet tightly and dug my nails into Billy's back with my free hand. I knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, A high pitched squeal/moan escaped my mouth as I reached my limit. Billy slowed his pace down but slammed into me as hard as he could which told me that he had reached his limit.

My breathing was heavy and we were both panting before Billy pulled himself out of me. It wasn't until that moment when I opened my eyes back up and gasped loudly, realizing what had just happened that was different from when we did it last night at my place. He wasn't wearing a condom.

"We didn't use protection!" I shouted as I sat up.

Billy pulled his jeans up and did them up before casually walking around to the side of the bed where he sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for his cigarettes in his pocket and the lighter off of the nightstand. Billy placed a cigarette between his lips and held up the flame to the end of his cigarette, taking a long drag off of his cigarette before answering me, "So?"

"So?! No offense but you aren't daddy material."

Billy ignored my comment, "Don't ya take the fuckin' pill?" He asked, sounding annoyed.

"No... Shane always used-"

"Doesn't matter. Ya ain't gonna get knocked up the first time." Billy cut me off.

I sighed, he was probably right. I shimmied over to where he was sitting and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back, still completely naked and not caring at this point. Billy remained silent and just puffed away on his cigarette and picked up his phone off of the nightstand. Me being the curious and snoopy person I am, I peaked over his shoulder and squinted my eyes, trying to read his phone screen. It was a text message from Bodie that said 'it's taken care of.'

"What if it did happen though?" I asked curiously.

Billy became tense and stared back at me over his shoulder, "Then ya'd get rid of it."

I pulled away from Billy and scrunched my brow. Was I really expecting anything else to come from Billy though? and furthermore, that will NEVER happen so I don't even know why I made things awkward by asking. I sighed and picked up my panties and slipped them on as they were the only article of clothing of mine that I could find.

"Get to sleep." Billy said as he stood up and pulled the blanket back so that I could crawl in.

I didn't protest as I was tired as hell, especially after what we had just done and all that happened tonight. Sleep was the best option for me to say the least. I crawled under the blankets and laid there watching as Billy slipped off his jeans and picked up his boxers from the floor and slid them on instead before turning out the light on the nightstand and crawling in beside me.

"Billy?" I whispered.

Billy sighed in annoyance, "What?"

"Thank you again... for saving my life" I whispered.

When Billy didn't say anything, I just sighed and rolled onto my side so that my back was facing Billy. A few short moments later just as I was finally about to close my eyes, Billy pulled my back against his chest and wrapped his arm around me, taking me by surprise as he didn't really seem to be the cuddling kind of guy.

Like I told myself before, this is okay... as long as I don't allow myself to catch feelings for Billy.


	12. Chapter 11

"Ya comin'?" Billy asked as he made his way back into his bedroom where I was still, sitting on his bed.

"Back to my place?" I asked in a hopeful tone.

Billy ignored me and left the bedroom leaving me sitting there stunned and confused as to what was going on. Why is it so God damn difficult for this guy to give me a straight answer?! Frustrating to say the least. Sighing as usual, I jumped up to my feet and followed behind Billy who was now by the front door waiting for me impatiently.

"Hello?" I hissed as I caught up with Billy and bent down to put on my shoes. Billy lit a cigarette and yanked the cigarette out from between his lips and stared down at me. "What?" I asked as I stood back up.

"Hurry up." He demanded.

I scoffed, "If you're in a hurry I can just walk home."

Billy ignored me and nodded for me to step out into the hallway so that he could shut and lock his apartment door. I rolled my eyes as I brushed past Billy and folded my arms against my chest and leaned against the wall. Billy walked past me without saying a word, leading the way down three flights of stairs and outside into the parking lot where his car was.

"Jesus...what time is it?!" I exclaimed as I noticed the sun going down.

Billy shrugged as he opened his car door, "5:00"

"Five?!" I shouted, my jaw dropping as I looked down at my clothes. I was suppose to work in a half an hour and there was no way I was going to have enough time to get home, shower, put on clean clothes and do my hair and makeup all in that short amount of time. "How the FUCK did we sleep in so late?!"

"Ya kept wakin' me up." Billy replied shortly, rubbing the side of his neck hinting for me to look at my own neck. He then climbed inside of his car and waited for me to do the same.

I ripped open the passenger side door and plopped down in the seat, shutting the door behind me and immediately pulling down the visor so that I could look at myself in the mirror. I gasped in shock, my eyes wide at the dark red/purple marks along the side of my neck that trailed all the way down my collar bone and down my chest. My expression went from shocked to pissed off as I glanced over at Billy and noticed that the only markings on his neck were his tribal tattoos.

"I'm not a piece of fucking bubblegum." I grumbled as I sat back in my seat and folded my arms across my chest. "I still don't understand how we didn't get up until less than an hour ago!"

Billy let out a faint chuckle, "Kept makin' me fuck ya."

"Classy way to say it." I replied sharply.

Billy ignored me and just kept driving, keeping his eyes on the road as I leaned over and turned on the radio. I smirked as I felt Billy's eyes on me, "Don't worry... I won't hurt your baby. I just want to turn some music on."

Billy grunted and went back to staring at the road as I found a radio channel that was playing Pitbull's 'Maldito Alcohol'. I bit my lip trying to refrain from laughing as I stared up at Billy who was clearly annoyed by this music. He scrunched his brows in annoyance as he reached over me and changed the channel to some hard rock station.

"Hey!" I exclaimed sitting up straight and turning it back to the station with Pitbull on it.

Billy tightened his jaw, staring over at me as he turned the station back. I narrowed my eyes into a glare. Billy turned his attention back to the road and I sat back in my seat and sighed loudly staring at the time. I'm going to be late by the time I'm ready and Sammy is going to chew me out and either fire me or take me off schedule yet once again.

"Don't like Pitbull?" I asked in attempt of making conversation. "Spanish jams man..."

"Ya Hispanic?" Billy asked dully.

"No?"

"Then why do ya listen to that shit?" Billy asked snidely.

"Because I can." I replied sharply.

Billy ignored me as he sped into the parking lot of the Four Roses. I noticed that his eyes were squinted as he scanned the parking lot, looking for Jamie's and Heco's cars. Billy cursed under his breathe as he pulled up in a parking space and turned the car off. Billy climbed out of the car and started to walk away but stopped when he noticed that I wasn't following behind him and was still sitting in the car. Billy became annoyed as he stomped back over to the drivers side door and climbed back in the car.

"Get out." Billy demanded flatly.

"No." I growled looking away from him.

Billy was obviously in a hurry to find the rest of his gang and was clearly now both pissed off and annoyed that they were no where to be found. Billy reached over and ripped open the glove department causing me to jump a little in my seat. He grabbed his lighter and an unopened pack of cigarettes. His hand brushed against my knee as he shut the department and sat back properly in his seat. I folded my arms across my chest, pressing my tongue against the inside of my cheek as a cloud of smoke surrounded me as Billy exhaled smoke out of his mouth.

"I got shit to do. Get out." Billy demanded again.

I turned in my seat, now facing Billy and glaring at him, "Look at my fucking neck! I can't go in there looking like this! I thought you'd at least take me home first so I could cover this up with makeup!" I shouted in disbelief.

"Ya weren't fuckin' complaining when I was doin' it." Billy hissed.

My eyes caught the gaze Billy had on me. I could tell by his expression that I was aggravating him and I didn't care. It's bad enough that I slept with him TWICE, I don't need people seeing these marks on my neck and knowing that I slept with him.

"Fuck you!" I shouted turning in my seat and reaching for the door handle when suddenly Billy grabbed onto my arm and yanked me back causing me to wince and stare up at him, stunned. "Don't fucking touch me!" I growled yanking my arm out of his grip.

Billy's face was stricken with rage, his eyes wild and his nostrils flared, the cigarette hanging in between his lips. My body started to shake from the anger that was building up inside of me right now. How the hell did he think he had the right to even so much as grab me.

"Look!" Billy exclaimed in a muffle caused by the cigarette dangling in between his lips. "Ya see this fucking hoodie?!" Billy continued, reaching into the backseat and grabbing a black hoodie of his and throwing it at me, "Now ya got something to fucking hide your neck."

I remained glaring at Billy as I reluctantly slipped the black hoodie on over my head, inhaling the scent that came off of it as I did so. It smelled just like Billy. I tightened my jaw as I stared at myself in the visor mirror. The hoodie didn't really hide the marks on my neck but it hid the rest of them so I suppose I can't complain.

I sighed loudly and turned back to face Billy who was still staring at me, "Thank you..."

Billy exhaled smoke out of his mouth and fired up his car and stared at me as if I should be getting out of the car by now. I sighed and nodded to myself slightly, realizing it was time to head inside of that God forsaken place that I work at. I reached for the car door but was stopped and pulled back by Billy again only this time his grip was a lot gentler.

"Yes?" I grumbled in annoyance.

Billy looked like he wanted to say something but judging by his facial expression, I don't think he really had anything to say to me and was just trying to keep me around longer. Or at least.. that's what I was hoping but lets be honest...

"Be safe." Billy warned as he sat back in his seat. "I'll see ya tomorrow or somethin'." He added dully, scratching the facial hair on the side of his chin.

I smirked as I reached for the door handle and glanced back at Billy from over my shoulder, "Can't get anymore safe than sitting next to you."

"I'm serious." He growled.

I turned back and faced Billy, "I'm serious too." Billy placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me towards him. He then placed his forehead against mine. I could tell he was annoyed with me so I sighed as I rolled my eyes, "I know.. I know."

"Good."

"Can I go now? Before Sammy fires me for good?" I asked in annoyance, pulling away.

Billy nodded and I paused before getting out of the car, not realizing that both Ramona and Christy were standing outside by the bar doors having a cigarette and staring over at me in Billy's car. I spun around in my seat, facing Billy as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. To my surprise, Billy pulled the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and turned and placed his lips over mine. I smiled into the kiss, slowly pulling away and staring into Billy's piercing blue eyes.

"Busy tonight?" I asked curiously, a sly smirk on my face.

Billy exhaled slowly, "Yeah. But I'll see ya tomorrow."

I nodded slightly, knowing that meant he was going to be busy dealing tonight. With that, I climbed out of his car and awkwardly walked up towards the bar doors where Ramona and Christy were standing smoking and gawking at me. My heart sunk as I heard Billy's car leave the parking lot. I was at least hoping he'd come in and stay a little while but I guess he changed his mind.

"Hey guys." I greeted the two of them awkwardly.

Ramona smirked, "Hey Amby!" She exclaimed cheerfully as she poked me in the neck.

I winced and placed my hand over the hickeys on my neck becoming slightly embarrassed. Both Christy and Ramona started pulling at Billy's hoodie trying to catch a glimpse of my neck. Ramona flicked her cigarette onto the ground and wrapped me into a huge hug, nuzzling her face into my shoulder as she cried laughing. Christy was smirking and shaking her head at me. I can't see my own face obviously.. but i'd imagine I have the look of annoyance right now.

"You fucked Billy Darley and he drove you to work afterwards? Wow.... Billy must be turning a new leaf." Ramona chuckled, stepping back away from me as Joe walked outside of the bar.

Joe snickered, "Not likely."

I glared at both of them, "It wasn't the first time."

Christy's eyes widened at what she was hearing while Joe started to choke on his cigarette from inhaling smoke while laughing. Ramona's jaw dropped slightly before she tilted her head to the side and nodded casually.

"It's all starting to click together now..." Joe stated, waving his finger in front of my face.

Christy pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek and nodded, agreeing with Joe, "Right?! Now it all makes sense."

I rolled my eyes and pushed through the three of them as I headed inside the bar to start my shift. Ramona followed me behind the bar and asked a couple of men if they wanted refills while Christy tied a black apron around her waist and sighed as she sat down next to Joe who was now sitting on a bar stool. Boredom sunk in as I stared up at the clock on the wall, wishing that I could magically make time speed up so that I could go home and shower.

"You drinking?" Ramona nodded at Joe as she asked him a question.

Joe shrugged, "May as well..."

Christy rolled her eyes at Joe as Ramona slid a mug full of beer along the bar towards Joe. Joe nodded in appreciation as he caught the beer and held it up to his lips, staring at me as he took a sip of beer. The gaze he had on me made me uncomfortable.

"Is that Billy's?" Joe asked pointing at the hoodie I was wearing.

"No it's fucking Whitney Huston's. Yes, obviously it's Billy's." I growled, sneering at Joe.

Joe and Christy both chuckled, "Someone's bitchy."

"I'm tired." I corrected.

"I bet you are." Joe snickered.

I rolled my eyes and gave up on trying to hide the smirk on my face, "You guys are going to drive me nuts."

"You ain't cut out for him..." Joe murmured before staring back up at me. "Billy isn't exactly a law abiding citizen if you haven't figured that out by now."

Christy shrugged as I looked over at her, "He's right... Billy is a gang leader."

"I'm aware." I snapped.

"-He's dangerous." Christy finished.

"For someone so dangerous he saved me from getting killed last night unless you were too high to remember that." I spat, turning on my heel and heading over to where Ramona was.

Christy scoffed and jumped up from the bar stool and walked around to behind the bar where Ramona and I were. She stomped up to me and folded her arms across her chest, "We're just looking out for you. You've been through a lot and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"So you're saying Billy would hurt me?" I asked in disbelief.

After all... he did save my life...

"Not like that. He's just... you know?" Joe joined in, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to put a sentence together. "With B-street trying to take over some of Billy's turf..."

"What does that have to do with me?" I interrupted.

"...and he's not exactly boyfriend material. In fact... Billy has never had a girlfriend... he doesn't get attached to girls... he just fucks them. Hence why it's so weird to see him saving you and you're wearing his hoodie... it's just... different." Joe added.

I sighed loudly and ran my fingers through my hair, nodding so that Joe would finally shut the fuck up and leave me alone. The end of this shift could not come fast enough!

"Just don't take this like you guys are together or something... Don't wanna see ya get hurt Amber." Joe finished.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not that stupid... besides after what I've just been through with Shane and having him almost kill me... yeah, I definitly am not going to be dating for a long time. But thanks for your concern."

"Lay off her. Isn't there some white lines you guys have to snort up your fucking noses?" Ramona hissed, defending me.

"Yeah guys... quit lecturing me, believe me when I say I know what Billy's intentions were. He's just new and exciting that's all." I lied, trying to be convincing and hide the hurt I was suddenly feeling.

"That's all?" Christy questioned suspiciously. "You just wanted change?"

I nodded, "Precisely."

Christy giggled, "Well why didn't you start with a makeover first?"

Ramona placed the mug she was wiping dry down onto the bar and leaned her head back staring at Christy in disgust, slightly shaking her head at Christy's comment. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged, not really wanting to say anything because I could feel my blood beginning to boil and I didn't want to say anything I would regret later. Christy is my best friend but she can be a hateful, spiteful, rude bitch when she wants to be.

There's nothing wrong with how I look in my opinion. Both Christy and I are tattooed. I have a sleeve and Christy has both of her sleeves and multiple back tattoos. My hair is long, like halfway down my back and almost black while Christy's is black but shaven on both sides and always styled beautifully while mine usually just stays pin straight. I like wearing lots of eyeliner and black smokey eye shadow while Christy can basically contour, highlight, do any kind of eye shadow she wants and looks perfect. Both Christy and I are around the same height and same weight, both petite but Christy has fake boobs that she's STILL paying for while mine are... natural and boring to say the least. Christy has no facial piercings while I have my snakebites.

I let out a shaky sigh, staring own at my feet, "You're right..." I whispered making them all cock an eyebrow up at me. "I could use a makeover."

Even though Christy is being an insulting bitch right now. She's right... I better stay clear of Billy and try seeking change in another way before I end up catching feelings for Billy.

"You're hot the way you are." Ramona scolded, glaring at Christy as she spoke.

"Do it!" Christy squealed in excitement.

I sighed yet once again, "I don't even know where to begin and NO. You're not doing it for me. I refuse to have Skrillex hair. Just because you can rock it does not mean I can." I grumbled.

Ramona placed her hands on her hips and stared at me in deep thought, "You and I are both off tomorrow... Christy and Amanda work the morning shift. What do ya say about me coming over and transforming you? I overheard your other roommate Megan talking about how she studied cosmetology... Between my hair skills and her makeup skills...we can do this."

"You guys make me sound haggard," I whispered in a low tone.

"You're not Amber!" All three of them exclaimed.

"You're just... newly single and who knows, maybe you'll feel better emotionally if you give yourself a change," Christy smiled warmly making me glare at her.

I leaned against the bar and groaned, "Fine... but if you make me look stupid... I swear to God..." I threatened.

Ramona smirked and placed her hand on my shoulder, "Trust me... you're gonna be a fox when I'm done with you."

\---------------------------------

Billy parked in front of an abandoned mental hospital where him and his boys used the basement to cook their drugs in. Billy climbed out of his car and checked his surroundings like he always has, especially now that B-street - a rival gang - has been trying to come on Billy's turf and take over. Bones, Billy's father, didn't seem to give two fucks about a rival gang wanting some of Billy's spots where him and his boys sell regardless if that meant that they could potentially be in danger one day... Nope.. Bones did not give a fuck as long as he got his money.

"Bones pissed?" Bodie asked Billy as Billy made his way through the basement where his boys were loading up cocaine and other hard drugs into backpacks to take with them tonight.

Billy shook his head, "Nah. So let's fuckin' keep this up."

"We took care of that problem, Billy." Spink piped up.

Billy turned his attention over at Spink but didn't say anything instead Billy just waited for Spink to explain himself. Spink nodded over at Tommy who dug into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a set of what appeared to be car keys. Spink smirked maliciously as he tossed the set of keys over at Billy who simply caught them. Billy snorted as he stared down at the keys in his hand.

"Where's the truck?" Billy asked flatly.

"Out back" Jamie answered.

Billy nodded before looking back up and tossing the keys back at Spink, "Take it to Bones's shop. See if he wants to strip it for parts." Billy instructed.

"He ain't goin' be any more of a problem to ya girl anymore, dog." Bodie addressed Billy.

"Good." Billy replied coolly.

Heco picked up a backpack and threw it over his shoulder, "Jamie, Tommy and I are gonna head out Billy."

Billy nodded, "Bodie and Dog will ride with me. Spink... get that car to Bones. Keep this shit up boys. Bones will be backin' off soon enough if we do as he wants."

With that, they all headed out and divided between the three vehicles. Bodie pulled the passenger seat forward allowing Dog to climb into the backseat of Billy's car. Bodie paused before getting in the passenger seat, stopping and leaning forward against the roof of the car and tossing Billy a black wallet.

Billy caught the wallet with one hand and took a long drag off of the cigarette in between his lips, "What the fuck is this?" Billy asked as hew blew smoke out of his mouth.

"That's all we found on him." Bodie replied dully.

Billy opened up the wallet and noticed there was nothing but Shane's license, a debit card and a photo of Amber. Billy stared down at the photo for a few moments before slipping the photo into the back pocket of his jeans and climbing into the drivers seat of his car. Billy fired up the car and stared back at Dog in the rear view mirror.

"Here." Billy started, tossing the black wallet of Shane's into the backseat, "Merry fuckin' Christmas."

\----------------------------------

"Wake up." Megan demanded as she plopped down on my bed.

I groaned, "It's my day off... go away."

"Ramona's here. Get your ass up." Megan replied.

"Yeah come on Amber! Christy left for work and Jack went to go find work. It's just you, me and Meg today." Ramona joined in. "Megan's going to dye your hair first and foremost."

"What exactly are we doing to my hair..." I asked slowly, reluctantly sitting up in bed.

"Well... its long as fuck... lets cut a few inches off." Megan suggested.

"I like having long hair!" I exclaimed.

"So do we but its almost down to your ass... it looks like shitty extensions. A few inches so that it falls just under your boobs area is long enough." Megan stated firmly.

I sighed, "Fine."

"And the color..." Ramona started as she glanced over at my hair. "What about a chocolate brown...? With maybe some blonde streaks at the bottom.. it sounds weird but trust me, I think it'll look good."

I sighed again, "I don't want to argue. I want to sleep but knowing you two.. that's not going to happen so let's just do this."

Shortly after they managed to drag me out of bed, Megan went to town on dying my hair to a different shade of brown. I was nervous as I watched her mix the bleach for the blonde streaks that they planned to have at the bottom of my hair but whatever.... it's just hair. If they fuck up or if I end up hating it, I can always dye it back.

Once my hair was dyed, Megan covered my eyes and led me to the bathroom where she revealed my new hair color. Surprisingly, I liked it. A huge grin spread across my face as I ran my fingers through my hair, admiring Megan's work. The smile never left my face until I stared at Megan in the mirror who was standing behind me holding up a pair of shiny silver scissors. I gulped before I was forced to sit on the toilet and have my hair cut a few inches shorter. Luckily, it's still long but feels more manageable, not to mention it looks a hell of a lot better.

After my haircut, Megan decided to curl my hair for tonight as apparently we're all going to the shitty Four fucking Roses to have drinks... as if I'm not there enough already, now I'm being forced to go party there. We took a short break after finishing my hair to eat pizza that Megan ordered from her work.

"You done eating?" Megan asked in a muffled tone as her mouth was still clearly full.

I sat down my empty plate and nodded nervously, "Yup."

"Good." Megan mumbled, pausing to swallow the mouthful of pizza she had, "Now it's Ramona's turn. She's going to do your makeup instead of me." Megan added, spinning around to face Ramona. "My makeup pallet and brushes are right here when you're ready, Ramona."

Ramona nodded as she walked over to where Megan was pointing. Ramona turned and stared at me with an evil grin on her face, "You ready?"

I sighed, "I guess so..."

"Alright. Well first things first before we begin. These... have to go. What are you? 16?" Ramona asked, pointing at my snakebite lip rings

I scoffed, "I had these for years!"

"Yeah well you look like an overgrown emo kid. Come on... take em out." Ramona insisted. I groaned and opened my mouth, sticking my fingers in and unscrewing the two studs out from my lip. "Quit whining... you'll thank me later. Come on."

My lip felt weird without my beloved snakebites but after sitting through Ramona doing my makeup for what seemed like an hour, I eventually forgot about my snakebites and didn't even seem to notice them being gone.

Once my makeup was done, Megan and Ramona picked out a black short fitted dress that just barely covered my ass and black six inch high heels. They insisted that I hurry as it was now almost time to call our taxi and head to the Four Roses as Christy would be getting off soon and wanted us to be there for when she gets off so we can all start drinking right away. I didn't bother to look at myself in the mirror, instead I just got changed into the dress they picked out for me.

"Come on out. Let's see." Megan called from out in the living room.

"Yeah Amber let's see!" Ramona joined in.

I sighed as I finally checked myself out in the mirror.

"Wow..." I whispered, completely in awe of how I looked.

I actually liked my makeup and my new hair. The only thing I didn't really like was how short this dress was but it beats listening to the two of them whine and complain if I don't wear the fucking thing. Regardless, I was impressed. This was a much needed change and for the first time in a long time... I felt like a knock out.

"I called the cab. Now we just have to wait for Amber to come out of the-"

"Holy fuck you look AMAZING." Ramona interrupted Megan mid sentence as their eyes fell on me as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom.


	13. Chapter 12

"Wow... it's busy tonight." Ramona stated in disbelief as she pulled up into a parking space. Megan was in the passenger seat and I was sitting in the backseat, drinking from the bottle straight. I had convinced both of them that the only way I was going to be able to walk into the bar dressed like this. I didn't even feel like myself considering I no longer look like myself... well, if anything, I now look like a better version of myself. I don't know. Whiskey's good.

"You better take it easy back there. Remember the first day I met you? You were puking so much that Christy and I were going to call an ambulance." Megan giggled as she looked back at me from the front seat.

I rolled my eyes, "I know.. I know. Don't worry, I got this!" I reassured her, pounding on the back of her seat to indicate that I wanted her to let me out.

Megan smirked and climbed out of the car, "No puking, no fights and hopefully no jail time for you again." She joked as she let me out of the car.

"Like I said-" I started, climbing out from the backseat of the car and staggering a little as I the whiskey hit me. I snorted with laughter as Megan and I stared at each other. It's official, I'm buzzed. "- I got this."

Ramona shook her head as she jined us, "Come on Annie Alcoholic. Let's go find Christy."

I nodded and followed behind Megan and Ramona. My eyes scanned the parking lot, hoping to find Billy's car. A disappointed feeling took over me as I realized it wasn't here. I wasn't sure why I was so upset and why I even bothered to hope that he'd be here tonight. After all, I did just see him yesterday evening when he dropped me off for work. But... I missed him. Even though I shouldn't care, I do. What is wrong with me? I came here looking to start new for myself and not get involved with anyone, especially not a gang leader. Exactly! What am I doing? Looks like I almost slipped and fell into some feelings. I better brush that shit off.

The familiar sound of roaring engine exhaust made my thoughts come to a sudden halt as Billy's car whipped by us and pulled up near towards the bar. My heart sunk as I watched Billy slowly climb out of his car, a cigarette between his lips as he slowly stood tall. He sucked back on his cigarette as he fixed the collar of his leather jacket before pulling the cigarette out from his lips, letting the smoke exit his mouth slowly.

Billy casually strutted towards his group of boys standing outside the bar doors, smoking cigarettes and joints. My eyes landed on Christy who was clung to Joe like he was going to go somewhere or something. The closer we got, the more nervous I became. Sighing, I stopped dead in my tracks and grabbed Megan by the arm, stopping her.

"What's wrong?" Megan asked with a face full of concern.

Ramona stopped and turned around to face us. I watched as she glanced at Billy and then back over at me, figuring out why I was so nervous and why I had just came to a sudden halt. Ramona smirked and dug into her purse for the bottle of Jack Daniels that I had been drinking in the backseat of her car on the way here. Ramona unscrewed the lid and handed me the bottle. Megan smirked, nodding her head up and down as she too realized that I needed a shot of whiskey before I approached Billy and the others.

I closed my eyes as I chugged back the whiskey, trying not to gag from the burning sensation of the whiskey hitting the back of my throat. I gasped as I yanked the bottle away from my lips and stood still, making sure that I didn't throw up from chugging all the whiskey I just drank.

"Why am I so nervous?!" I asked myself out loud.

"Why are you so nervous?" Ramona asked suspiciously.

Megan snorted as she took the bottle from me and handed it back to Ramona, "I can think of a reason. Ohhhh Billy..." Megan mocked me in a moaning, whiny voice.

My mouth fell slightly open as I was about to say something when my eyes landed on Jennifer walking out from inside the bar and walking over to Billy and started talking to him. From what I could see, Billy appeared to be in a pretty serious conversation with Bodie and wasn't really paying attention to Jennifer's attempts to get his attention. Still, somehow her attempts were enough to piss me right off, yet once again.

Megan must have caught my expression dropping because she instantly blocked my path, holding me back slightly, "Amber.. no."

"No fights!" Ramona hissed.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to fight anyone."

"Good. Now come on, let's go inside and get some drinks." Ramona replied as she led Megan and I towards Christy and the others. "Hey Christy!" Ramona called out.

Christy stopped what she was doing and turned her attention over to us. A sly smirk formed across my face as I watched Christy's jaw drop once she noticed me. Joe nearly choked on his cigarette as he noticed me which in turn made Billy's boys all turn to see what Joe was looking at.

A random boost of confidence coursed it's way through my veins as I casually walked up to Christy. Jennifer placed her hand on Billy's shoulder as she glanced at me. Her mouth fell open as she did a double take, realizing that it was me that she was looking at.

"Amber?!" Bodie exclaimed. Billy caught Bodie's gaze that he had on me and stared at me, slightly surprised.

"Very good." I replied coolly.

Billy's eyes met mine, making my heart sink even worse than it already has. I didn't want to give him or HER the satisfaction of knowing that I was indeed jealous or that it was bothering me that she was standing so close to him, touching his shoulder. So instead of ripping her ugly straw like hair out of her stupid head, I just shook my head in disbelief at Billy before heading inside and plopping down on a bar stool.

I feel utterly ridiculous right now. Why am I even here? I could be at home eating pizza and taking selfies of myself so I can post them to facebook and show everyone my 'makeover' - because isn't that what everyone else in the God damn world does? Probably.

But oh no, here I am.. at the Four fucking Roses, moping and drinking.

"Amber?! Holy shit. You look amazing!" Amanda exclaimed.

"..Thanks." I murmured. "Can I get a rye and coke, please?"

"No seriously," Amanda started as she started to prepare my drink, "You look fantastic."

I smiled weakly as I handed Amanda some cash for the drink she had just made for me. Ramona, Megan and Christy were all still outside smoking, giving me time to throw back as many rye and cokes that I possibly could handle. With the amount of liquor I was consuming, I had to pee like none other.

As I was washing my hands in the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror and smiled widely, feeling amazing. By now, I was so drunk that the thought of Billy was no longer creeping in my mind. The only things I had on my mind was how annoying these heels are and that I need more booze! I took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom and let out a shaky sigh as I walked past the table Billy and his boys were sitting at. I could feel Billy's eyes on me as I stormed past their table.

"Are you waste case?" Christy asked, pointing at all the empty glasses along the bar. I shrugged, nodding slightly. Christy smirked and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "Good girl. You look great by the way! SEE! I told you that you needed this!"

"I love you my purdy fucking frienddddd." I sang as I hugged Christy tightly.

"Come on drunky, let's go sit down." Christy giggled, nodding over at Ramona and Megan to follow.

"No!" I exclaimed, snorting as I giggled. "I don't wanna..." I 'whispered' super loud.

"Why?" Christy asked.

"Because...." I laughed, unaware that we were literally standing right in front of the table. Ramona and Megan sat down awkwardly, sipping back on their drinks, staring up at Christy and I, waiting for us to join everyone and sit down. "Because that ugly slut is sitting next to Billy..." I finished in a rather loud 'whisper'.

Jennifer scoffed and glared at me. Billy and everyone else all stared up at me. Christy sighed as she forced me to sit down and yelled for Amanda to bring me a glass of water instead of the drink I just ordered.

Eventually I gave up on arguing with Christy and ended up drinking the water. The more water I drank the more sober I became, which I didn't like for two reasons. One being that I suddenly feel sick, the other reason being because now I wasn't drunk enough to block out the fact that Jennifer was practically all over Billy and he was doing absolutely fuck all about it. Which made me feel dirty, like he just has been using me for sex the last two times that we did it.

My blood started to boil as I watched Jennifer caress Billy's cheek and trace her finger tips along his tribal tattoos that ran up along side of his neck, while everyone else was participating in a conversation that both Ramona and Baggy had started. I was so enraged that I was seconds away from jumping across this table and lunching her in the face again. Him too! Why isn't he stop her?! This is the bitch who got me thrown in jail, the chick who's in love with him. Like what the fuck is he thinking?

"What do you think Amber? What's better? Beer or vodka?" Baggy asked casually.

Ignoring Baggy's question, I turned in my seat and faced both Jennifer and Billy. I straightened my back out before placing my hands flat on the table to push my seat out. A malicious grin formed from the corners of my mouth and I stood proudly as I stated down at Jennifer.

"Hey Jen? When you're in Billy's room later tonight looking for your clothes, could you look for my Victoria's Secret bra? It was expensive. Thanks doll!" I said with a fake smile.

Everyone's eyes widened. Jennifer's jaw dropped and Billy just shrugged as he placed a cigarette in between his lips and picked up a small red candle from the center of the table and using it to light the cigarette. Billy joined his hands together, the cigarette still dangling between his lips as he stared straight at me. Just having him look at me made me feel a bunch of feelings that I shouldn't be feeling.

I don't even really know what it is about him that makes me feel this way. I mean, he did save my life after all... maybe that's why I've developed these feelings for him. But even before that... I'll admit, I started to catch feelings for him when I shouldn't be. He's a freaking drug dealer, a gang leader, a womanizer, an asshole... God the list goes on with him. But I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm with him. I feel safe. I feel like for the first time in years I can be myself and not be scolded for doing so. Whatever it is, it needs to stop. Especially now... How could he do this to me? Then again.. it's not like we're dating or anything... but still...

"Ya might have a hard time finding hers. There's a lot of em'." Billy stated as he blew smoke out of his mouth.

"Go fuck yourself." I growled as I jumped up to my feet. Everyone looked startled as they watched me grit my teeth and pick up a mug full of beer and toss it on Billy and Jennifer. Luckily for him, most of the beer landed on her.

"Amber!" Christy yelled after me as I stormed through the bar towards the exit.

"Amber? What's wrong?!" Megan exclaimed as I hurried past her. Jack was now here, sitting next to Megan at the bar.

"I'm fine! Just.. just let me get some air alone for a minute." I lied before slamming my body up against the bar doors and sending them flying open as I staggered outside.

Warm tears began to swell up in the corners of my eyes. My heart felt like it had just been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. How could I be so stupid to expect any different from someone like him. I suddenly felt ridiculous with how I was all dressed up.. and for what? This?! What a joke this turned out to be. For one, I'm still pretty buzzed but I'm sober enough to know that I need to get the hell out of here and get home as soon as possible.

Sniffling, I wiped away the few tears that had managed to escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I made my way through the parking lot. As much as I didn't want to walk alone at night in this part of town, I was willing to take my chances as long as it meant that I was getting far away from here and away from all these people and especially away from Billy.

The bar doors swung open and Billy angrily took long struts across the parking lot towards me. I groaned and rolled my eyes as I heard him catch up to me. Billy grabbed me by the upper arm, pulling me back and spinning me around to face him, "What the fuck is your problem?!" He barked.

I gritted my teeth and yanked my arm out of his grip, "You're my fucking problem!"

Before anything more could be said, Baggy, Bodie, Jamie, Heco, Dog, Spink, Tommy, Christy and Joe all came piling outside of the bar. I glanced over at them for a brief second while Billy continued to stare down at me. Christy and Joe both looked at me nervously as an annoyed and unimpressed look formed across my face. Christy, Joe and the rest of the boys were still having a hard time accepting the fact that I'm not afraid of Billy. So what if I end up pushing him to his end of his rope? What's he going to do? Hit me? Kill me? Then he will be everything that I already knew he was to begin with. It'd be no different than anything Shane has ever tried or done to me.

"Get in the car." Billy demanded as he whispered in my ear.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" I exclaimed.

Billy's boys awkwardly stood beside Christy and Joe, watching us as I refused to do what Billy told me to do, making Billy clench his jaw so tight that you could see his muscles in his face. Most of his boys stood there afraid to say anything while Joe, Heco and Jamie sparked up their cigarettes and puffed away on their cigarettes as they watched the show going on between Billy and I.

"Get in the fuckin' car." He repeated firmly.

"Are you fucking deaf? I said no. Go get your ugly whore." I spat in disgust.

Billy's anger seamed to ease dramatically as he huffed, "Is that what ya fuckin' problem is?"

"Billy... it's almost-" Baggy started.

Billy shot his head to the side, staring over at his boys. Billy nodded at all of them, "Same plan as before. I'll meet you guys at the office at midnight." Billy said sternly.

"What about Joe's girl?" Bodie shouted as he walked over to Heco's car.

"What about her? She can take a fuckin' cab home." Billy replied with a smirk.

Christy rolled her eyes before giving Joe a quick peck on the lips and whispering, "Be safe...". Christy ran her fingers through her hair nervously as she glanced back over at me and then back at Joe. Joe nodded slowly, watching as Christy walked back inside the bar, leaving me here alone with this bald psychopath. Such a great best friend she is.

"Tonight's your night, Joey." Heco chuckled, patting Joe on the shoulder before opening his car door and folding down the seat so that Joe could climb in the backseat with Tommy. Bodie nodded over at Billy and I before climbing into the passenger seat of Heco's car. Spink, Dog, Baggy and Jamie all got into Jamie's car and followed behind Heco, speeding out of the parking lot. Billy stood tall as he watched them leave.

I folded my arms across my chest and sighed loudly, drawing Billy's attention over to me. His expression was blank as he stared at me dully, leaning his head back slightly, "You gonna tell me what the fuck your problem is?"

"Well as you can probably imagine, I'm not exactly thrilled at the fact that you used me for sex." I replied staring down at the ground.

"Is that what ya fuckin' think?" Billy hissed.

I shrugged, "Well it's obvious. But you better get back inside before your girl leaves."

"Speaking of which, where is your stupid ass girl?" I asked again, venom dripping from every word.

Billy dug into the pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes, pulling the pack out and grabbing a cigarette and placing it between his lips. Billy stared at me between squinted eyes as he dug in his other pocket for his lighter. Billy lit the end of his cigarette and inhaled a deep drag before ripping the cigarette out between his lips and blowing smoke in my face, "I'm lookin' at her."

My heart sunk and my cheeks turned multiple shades of red as Billy said that. My mouth fell slightly agape as I struggled to find words to form a sentence. Did he seriously just say what I think he did?

New look?" Billy asked nodding towards my hair.

"Needed a change." I replied, biting the inside of my cheek, trying to hide the huge grin that I suddenly had.

"Looks good." Billy murmured dully.

"Was that a compliment from the infamous Billy Darley?" I giggled. "Not something I expected to hear from a drug dealing, gang lord."

"I told you before hand that you weren't cut out to be involved with me." Billy said as he exhaled more smoke from out of his mouth.

"And I told you," I started, staring directly up at him, "not to underestimate me."

"Yeah, You did." Billy laughed as he agreed.

A goofy grin formed across my lips as I stared up at Billy into his piercing icy blue eyes. Just like that... exactly like that, I lost all common sense that I had left just by Billy staring at me. I can't help it anymore... I have feelings for him.

"We gonna keep doing this or cut to the shit?" Billy asked exhaling smoke in my direction.

I raised an eyebrow and turned back to face him, "And what's that?".

"You're either with me or you ain't. You choose. I ain't playing anymore fuckin' games." Billy stated firmly but quickly calmed down, lowering his tone as he spoke, "You don't want me around ya anymore, then go home with Christy and you'll never hear from me again. Or ya can come with me."

"...I think it's pretty clear what I've chose to do." I replied as I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around Billy's neck, our faces now only inches apart. "But if I'm going to be 'your girl', there better be no more whores or no more Jennifer."

"She ain't nothin' to me, anyways." Billy replied, a smug smirk formed on the corners of Billy's mouth as he flicked his cigarette down on the ground and wrapped an arm around my lower back, lifting me up off of my feet.

I closed my eyes and crashed my lips down on Billy's. Billy kissed me back and I couldn't help but smile against his kiss. Reluctantly, I pulled my face away from Billy's and stared down at him, my arms still wrapped around his neck and he still had me lifted up off the ground. I smiled warmly as I did nothing but just stare at him for a few moments.

"I'm serious... I'll kill her." I giggled jokingly.

Billy smirked as he placed me back down on my feet and lowered his face down towards mine, kissing me softly before pulling away and nodding towards his car. Megan, Jack, Ramona and Christy all walked outside of the bar and stared over at us. To my surprise, none of them said or did anything as I walked over to Billy's passenger side door of his car. Billy unlocked his car and we both climbed in.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously as I buckled myself in.

Billy started his car and glanced over at me, "Home."

"Home?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow up at him.

Billy put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking lot before answering me, "Yeah, home."

A smirk crept across my face, "I guess Jack and Megan no longer have to sleep out in the living room anymore."

Billy shrugged, "I guess not."

\-----------------------------------------

By the time we got to Billy's apartment, I was so exhausted that I was having a horrible time trying to keep my eyes open. In fact, the first thing I did was kick off my heels and head straight down the hallway and into Billy's room where I plopped down on his surprisingly nicely made bed. Billy had went out onto his balcony to make a phone call. So by the time he got off the phone and headed into his room where I was, I was passed out into a deep sleep.

Billy quietly stood beside his bed, staring down at me. He exhaled a deep breath as he carefully pulled the blankets down and carefully lifting me up and putting me under the blankets. I was in such a deep sleep that I didn't even so much as stir as he did so. Billy leaned down and gently kissed my forehead, his cross necklace dangling against my nose as he did so. Billy stood tall and glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand beside the bed. The clock read 11:40 pm.

Billy sighed loudly as he turned off the bedroom light and left the room. Billy walked into his living room, grabbing his leather jacket off of the arm of the couch before throwing it on and fixing the collar of his jacket. Billy then proceeded to leave the apartment and head down the stairs and outside of the apartment over to his car where he climbed in. But before turning on the car he opened the glove department and pulled out a pair of black leather gloves and a black ski mask, shoveing the mask and gloves into the pockets of his leather jacket.

By the time Billy reached the abandoned mental hospital aka "The Office" - where his boys cook their drugs to sell - everyone was outside and waiting to divide the nine members between Heco's and Billy's cars. Billy casually climbed out of his car and stared at Joe who was standing there looking extremely nervous. Billy casually approached his brother and wrapped his arm around Joe's shoulders.

"Ya ready to do this?" Billy asked coolly.

Joe nodded, "I'm ready Billy..."

"You'll ride with Bodie, Jamie and I. I'll be with ya the whole time. Don't worry Joey. Make me proud." Billy said as he led Joe over to his car.

"Yo Billy, you ready?" Heco asked from over by his car.

"Let's do this!" Billy exclaimed, pulling out his keys from his pocket and tossing them over at Jamie who would driving Billy's car.

Joe gulped as he climbed into the backseat of his brothers car with Jamie. Billy plopped down into the passenger seat as Bodie climbed into Billy's seat and started the car. Billy looked back at Joe and smirked, "Tonight, ya gonna become a man." Billy declared as he pulled out the ski mask from his jacket pocket and pulled it on over his face.


	14. Chapter 13

A quarter after midnight and I was still safe and sound in a deep sleep. Unaware of the events that were currently about to take place just 15 blocks away in an even rougher part of inner city Boston where we all lived. A small gas station with no working surveillance cameras - was about to be robbed.

Two cars sped up into the parking lot on the side of the gas station. One masked man jumped out of the passenger seat of the black car, carrying a single barreled shotgun in his hand. While two other men from the red car jumped out, a machete in the hands of one man. Both cars had all the seats filled but only three jumped out... which was weird that only three masked men were heading towards the door of the gas station.

The man carrying the shotgun, raised it up and shoved his body into the door, sending the glass door flying wide open. The clicking sound from his shotgun as he cocked it, startled both a young man in his 20's and the middle aged store clerk. The young man - who happens to be the younger brother of the gang leader of 'B street' - whimpered as he spun around, holding his hands up in the air as the man with the shotgun pointed the gun at the store clerk.

"GET THE FUCK DOWN OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!" He hollered at the top of his lungs. "GET THE FUCK DOWN!"

The third masked man tapped the second masked man with the machete, on the shoulder as he pointed at the young man from B-street gang, "This is your guy! This is your guy!" he exclaimed before noticing that the store clerk was slowly reaching for the panic button that was underneath the counter. "He's going for the button, Billy!" He exclaimed.

The man with the shotgun quickly turned his attention back to the store clerk, cocking the shotgun again before blowing a hole in the mans chest with out even so much as a thought. The young B street gang member trembled in fear as the store clerk flew back against the wall, a huge hole blown in the center of his chest.

"Get this motherfucker!" The third masked man shouted at the second masked man with the machete shaking nervously in his hand.

The masked man with the shotgun grabbed the second man by the neck, pulling his ear close to his lips, "Do this or you're not one of us!" He shouted frantically before smacking the man in the back of the head.

"Kill that mother fucker Joey!" the third man shouted.

The B-street gang member panted frantically, his hands still up above his head, afraid for his life. The masked man with the machete growled as he swung swiftly in one quick movement, slicing the young man's throat. The slushy that was once in the young man's hand fell to the floor, spilling everywhere.

"That's my boy..." The man with the shotgun whispered to the guy who had just slit the young man's throat, taking the machete out of his hands as him and the other masked man ran out of the store.

The man with the shotgun jumped into the passenger seat of the black car before it reversed, speeding out of the parking lot while the other man dove into the drivers seat of the red car and pealed out of the parking lot after the black car. The man who had just slit the young gang member's throat was frantic as he noticed his crew and ride had just bailed on him, leaving him there. He glanced down at the man's body before running out of the store and into the middle of the street, watching as the two cars sped off down the street.

"Fuck! You!" He shouted out, as if the men in the cars could hear him curse them. "Mother fucker!" He shouted again as the sound of a horn honking startled him right before he was hit by a car, flying up into the air and over the car itself. He landed on the pavement roughly, wincing and groaning in agony.

Karma's a bitch...

Meanwhile the two mustangs pulled up side to side as they still continued to speed down the road. The driver of the red car rolled down the window so that Bodie in the passenger seat beside him could yell out to Billy who was in the passenger seat of his own car. Both Billy and Bodie pulled off their masks, a huge sadistic grin across Billy's face.

"Where's Joe?!" Bodie shouted out.

"He's a man now! He can take the subway!" Billy shouted back making Baggy in the backseat of Billy's car pat Billy on the shoulder as all of the men in both cars roared with laughter, speeding off into the night.

\--------------------------------

My eyes shot open as I awoke from my horrible nightmare that I just had. I sat up in bed and patted around the mattress, becoming startled as I realized Billy wasn't beside me in the bed. I gulped before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as I tried to calm myself down, realizing that even though Billy wasn't with me, I was still somewhere safe...ish, and there's no way Shane could find or hurt me here.

Sighing, I kicked the blankets off of my legs and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I reached over and turned on the small table lamp that was placed on the nightstand beside the bed. I frowned as I stared down at the dress that I still had on. I was frowning because I knew damn well that meant my makeup was still on. Sighing again, I stood up and made my way over to the bedroom door where I slowly opened it and peered my head out into the hallway, checking to see if Billy or anyone else was in the apartment. When the coast was clear, I made my way out into the hallway and into the bathroom.

I was right about what I had thought last time, Billy's apartment is tremendously clean besides his room that has clothes scattered around the floor. I examined myself in the bathroom mirror and was surprised to see that my makeup was only slightly smudged underneath of my eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek as I debated on attempting to remove all the eye shadow and liner from my face with damp toilet paper but I decided against it as I'd probably end up making a huge mess and end up looking like a zombie or something.

Shrugging, I turned off the bathroom light and made my way back into Billy's room where I plopped down on the bed and picked up a random pack of cigarettes on the nightstand and opening the pack and pulled out a cigarette. I placed the cigarette in between my lips and groaned as I patted around the nightstand for a lighter that was clearly not there.

"Fuck." I mumbled causing the cigarette to dangle between my lips as I spoke.

An idea went off in my mind as my eyes scanned around the room and landed on a pair of Billy's jeans that were carelessly tossed on the floor. I made my way over to the jeans and knelt down on the floor, digging through the pockets of his jeans in hopes of finding a cigarette lighter. My face dropped as I pulled out a photo of myself from the back pocket.

"Where did he get this...?" I whispered as I recognized the photo from Shane's wallet. "There's no.. what the hell?..."

After a few moments of wondering if Shane left his wallet behind at mine and Christy's place or not, I shrugged and went back to digging around some of his articles of clothing until I finally found a lighter. I held the flame from the lighter up to the end of my cigarette and sucked back, inhaling a long drag off of the cigarette causing the end of the cigarette to burn red.

As I smoked my cigarette in complete silence, I ashed in the ashtray on the nightstand and glanced down at the drawer. Being the nosy person that I am, I bit my bottom lip and slowly opened the drawer. A small smirk formed on my lips as I dug through the drawer and came across a photo of Joe, about 16 years old. I put my cigarette out in the ashtray and used both hands to dig through the drawer, pausing as I found a photo of Billy.

In the photo he had blonde messy hair and no tattoos. A grin spread across my face as I continued to stare at the photo. Billy had to only be 17 in the photo. I almost didn't recognize him at first but his piercing blue eyes gave it away.

The sound of a key being entered into the deadbolt of the apartment door startled me, making me shove the photo back into his nightstand drawer before jumping up to my feet and running into the bathroom where I quickly flipped on the light and started to pretend that I was trying to fix my makeup. I heard Billy stomp inside the apartment and kick his boots off. I waited impatiently for Billy to appear but frowned when he didn't. I sighed loudly as I threw the piece of damp toilet paper with black eyeliner smudge marks on it, into the bathroom garbage can before turning on my heel to leave the bathroom.

A gasp escaped my mouth and I jumped back as I noticed Billy standing there, "Oh... You scared me."

Billy smirked and stared deep into my eyes as he placed his hand on my hip and pulled my body against his. I stared up at him and bit my bottom lip nervously. The scent of Billy's cologne mixed with both cigarette smell and the smell of whiskey on his breathe told me that Billy had been drinking. Billy's expression was unreadable and without warning, Billy crashed his lips on top of mine, kissing me roughly.

Billy's hands made their way from my hips down to the middle of my thighs where the dress ended. Billy firmly grabbed onto my thighs and lifted me up off of my feet and placed me onto the bathroom sink/bathroom vanity. Billy broke away from the kiss and crashed his lips against my neck, his goatee tickling my flesh. I whimpered as Billy began to kiss my neck, slightly sucking on the skin as he planted kisses up and down my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, gripping onto his shirt for support as Billy ran his hands up under my dress.

"Right here?" I whispered out a moan.

Billy ignored me and without warning pushed my thong to the side before unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans and slamming into me without warning. I leaned my head back, my mouth falling agape as I whimpered out in surprise. Much like the last two times, Billy's pace was hard and fast. This time he was just rough and caused me a lot of pain at first but I think my mixture of moaning, crying out in both pleasure and pain just gave Billy more satisfaction.

My body shook under him as Billy leaned forward causing my back to hit the mirror and Billy to push further into me. After awhile, my pain was replaced with pleasure. Billy crashed his lips against mine again, kissing me even rougher than he had before. As much as I was loving this, I knew deep down something was wrong, just by how Billy looked. He looked like he was in deep thought even though he was in the middle of sex. He was also drunk.

I dug my nails into Billy's back as I came to my limit. Billy grunted as he finished too. I panted and leaned my head back slightly as I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath. Billy zipped his pants back up and ran his hand over his head, clicking his jaw as if nothing had just happened. I sat up straight and stared at him, studying his body language and his attitude.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

Billy shook head, "Nothin,"

"You sure?" I asked softly. "Where did you go?"

Billy shrugged, "Had to do some shit. What's with all the fuckin' questions?"

Taken back slightly, I scrunched brow and glared at Billy, "It's like two in the morning and you're acting all weird."

"Lot on my mind." Billy replied flatly as he turned and left the bathroom, leaving me sitting on the sink confused.

I scoffed as I jumped down onto my feet and stormed after Billy. Billy was already shirtless and working on undoing his jeans yet once again. Billy glanced over his shoulder at me before looking away. I frowned again as I walked over in front of him, "I have to ask you something."

"What?" He asked flatly yet softly.

I cleared my throat and ran my fingers through my hair as I thought about how to say this before looking up at Billy, right in the eyes, "Where did you get that photo of me?"


	15. Chapter 14

"Billy? Answer me." I demanded as I folded my arms across my chest.

Billy narrowed his eyes at me, the typical cigarette dangling in between his lips. I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I waited impatiently for Billy to answer me about the picture of me that was clearly from Shane's wallet. Obviously I'd rather Billy have it than my ex abusive psycho boyfriend, but how he got it is what I want to know.

Billy and I continued to stare each other down as I awaited for his explanation that clearly wasn't going to come willingly. Billy yanked the cigarette out from his lips and put it out in the ashtray before standing tall and towering over me. I bit my bottom lip as I watched Billy who moved my hair away from my neck and lowered his mouth down to my neck. I closed my eyes as the feeling of his facial hair tickled my skin as he gently kissed my neck.

"Billy..." I whispered, "How did you get the photo..?"

"Does it matter?" Billy hissed.

"You didn't kill him... did you?" I asked in a low tone as I placed my hands on Billy's chest and tried to push him away to look at me.

"He was gonna fuckin' kill you." Billy replied sternly.

My eyes widened, "You...KILLED HIM?!" I screamed.

Billy rolled his eyes, "Fuck off Amber. I didn't kill ya piece of shit boyfriend."

I had that coming I guess.

I scoffed, "Then how did you get the fucking picture?!"

"He dropped his fuckin' wallet on his way out." Billy replied dully.

I suddenly felt stupid and awkward. Billy shook his head at me as he reached down and grabbed his pack of cigarettes and a lighter from off of the night stand before stomping out of the bedroom, leaving me standing there like an idiot. Sighing loudly, I ran my fingers through my hair as I made my way out of the bedroom, down the hallway out through the living room. I rolled my eyes as I stepped out onto the balcony where Billy was sitting on a chair, shirtless and smoking a cigarette, staring off into the distance.

Billy glanced over at me and I stared down at my bare feet as I walked over in front of him. Billy pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it over the balcony railing. The chair was wide enough for me to straddle Billy. I stared down at Billy, biting my lower lip. Billy let out a agitated sigh as he placed his hands on my hips and stared up at me. I knew something was bothering him and I knew it wasn't because of me.

"I'm sorry." I giggled, trying to apologize.

Billy smirked, obviously not being able to stay mad at me for long either. I gave Billy a peck on the lips, my hands on each side of his neck, our faces only inches away from each others.

"Should I be afraid?" I whispered unexpectedly. I even surprised myself.

"Not of me." Billy replied bluntly.

I sighed and rested my forehead against Billy's. Billy stared down blankly - still in deep thought. I didn't want to pry at him with questions so instead I just remained silent and where I was. Billy cleared his throat and stared me right in the eyes as he spoke, "I don't want ya on this balcony alone."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "Why?"

"Because." Billy murmured.

"Because why?" I asked blinking my eyelashes repeatedly, playing dumb on purpose.

"Because I fuckin' said so." Billy hissed.

I glared at Billy and climbed off of him, taking a step back and glaring down at him. Billy glanced up at me seeing my facial expression before sighing himself and running his hand over his head, "Because I don't want someone who's got shit with me, driving by and shooting up the place."

"Ya fuckin' happy now?" Billy asked in annoyance. "You're havin' second thoughts eh?"

I shook my head, "I knew what I was getting into."

Billy stood up and I smirked seductively as Billy crouched down slightly to wrap his arms around my legs and pick me up off of my feet. I giggled as the cool summer night's breeze tickled my face and blew my hair wildly in the wind. My make up was completely gone and all the work and time it took to curl my hair was now ruined.

"Just don't make me regret this." I whispered sternly as I turned my head and stared off into the distance. Sighing, I turned my head back and stared down at Billy, "How do I know Shane's not going to go back to Christy's looking for me and his wallet?"

"He won't." Billy replied flatly.

"How can you be so sure... he's crazy..." I whispered.

Billy grunted, "He won't because he know's you're mine now."

A huge goofy grin spread across my face and I blushed a deep shade of red. Billy didn't say anything more, instead our lips crashed together and the next thing I knew I was being carried into the bedroom. My set me down on my feet once we reached the bedroom. He was already shirtless so all I had to do was unzip his jeans. Billy ripped the dress up and over my head so fast that I was slightly worried that he might have ripped it somehow, but yet I didn't really care if he did.

Within seconds, my bra and thong was ripped off of me and Billy was wasting no time. I arched my back and moaned loudly as Billy left a trail of kisses all the way from jaw line, down my neck and down to my chest. Both our breathing was heavy and it's safe to say that my curls are definitely way more ruined than they already were. I gritted my teeth and dug my nails into Billy's back as his pace picked up and became rougher. I was too busy moaning and calling out Billy's name to notice my phone vibrating on the night stand. Billy didn't seem to notice either.

It actually wasn't until we switched positions and I glanced over at the alarm clock on the night stand to see what time it was. Billy gently grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled my head to the side by my hair. I let out a whimper and shut my eyes for a few seconds as I gripped onto the bed sheet and my head hit the pillow. Billy gently pulled me up by my hair, not hurting me at all as he did so, and pulled my back to his chest. It wasn't even five minutes after that and we were both done.

We laid side by side and I pulled the sheet up over myself as I rested my head on his chest, "Our phones keep going vibrating."

"Fuck em." Billy yawned carelessly.

I shrugged agreeing with him and rolled on top of Billy. A giggle escaped my mouth as Billy shook his head at me jokingly as I straddled him and let the sheet fall, revealing my naked upper half of my body. Billy sat up with me still straddling him. He placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled my face towards his as he kissed me roughly yet somewhat passionately.

Even though it was now almost four thirty in the morning, I still wasn't even the littlest bit tired. Billy on the other hand, was clearly exhausted and was still bothered by what it was that's been on his mind all night. Billy pulled away from me and rested his forehead against my own and we just sat like this in silence for a few moments before Billy finally spoke.

"You're gonna be the death of me." He stated in a groggy tone.

Meanwhile Christy paced around the hospital waiting room with Megan, Jack, Bodie and Tommy. The rest of Billy's boys were out selling or drinking or doing drugs. A person driving by noticed Joe on the road after he got hit by the car and called 911. Unfortunately the police were involved and the location Joe was picked up from paramedics matched the location where a kid was killed, making Joe a prime suspect.

"Did anyone get a hold of Billy yet?!" Christy asked in everyone in a panic.

Tommy and Bodie shook their head, "Nah... Calm down Christy. Joe will be fine."

"What about the cops?! This is all your guys's fucking fault!" Christy shouted.

"Keep your voice down!" Megan hissed in a hushed whisper.

Christy glanced over at Megan and clicked her jaw to the side before staring back over at Bodie and Tommy. Christy sighed and nodded slowly. Bodie could see the worry in her eyes and sighed.

"I'll try Billy again." Tommy said calmly.

"Look, Christy..." Bodie started, pausing as he watched Tommy walk away and call Billy again. "The detective even said... there's no proof Joe was involved as no gun was found on Joe or any weapon for that matter and given that you said Joe was with you, nothing's gonna happen to him. He's not going to be in any trouble. It's because he's a Darley that they're taking him to a holding cell for questioning, that's all." Bodie reassured her.

Tommy sprinted back towards everyone, "Yo! I finally got a hold of Billy."

Christy sighed, "Lovely... Can't wait to hear what he fucking has to say about this."

Bodie ignored Christy's comment and stared at Tommy, "And?"

"And... he pretty much said he'll see us at the office at noon and he'll be the one to get Joe from the police station when the time comes." Tommy replied dully with a shrug.

"That's it?!" Everyone exclaimed at the same time.

"It's Billy we're talking about... You idiots." Tommy barked, shaking his head.

Christy rolled her eyes, "Just get out of here! Expect Jack and Meg. But you two, get out of my sight!" Christy exclaimed pointing at both Tommy and Bodie.

Bodie and Tommy were about to take off when Bodie grabbed Christy by the upper arm and pulled her close to him so that only she could hear what he had to say, "One more thing.... none of this gets out to Amber."


	16. Chapter 15

It was around noon when Billy's car and Heco's car pulled up along side the curb in front of the police station. Joe, who had a small bandage on his forehead, smirked as he lit the cigarette between his lips, making his way down the cement stairs outside of the police station. He had a smug look on his face knowing he had just got away with what he had done the night before.

"Joey!" Baggy exclaimed as he swung open Billy's passenger door and climbed out.

Tommy and Jamie climbed out of the backseat of Billy's car behind Baggy. While Dog, Spink and Bodie climbed out from Heco's car. Joe held out his arms, his eyebrows raised and nodded his head up and down as if he was trying to say 'I told you so'. They all surrounded Joe, patting him on the back and praising him.

While Billy slowly climbed out of his car, a cigarette dangling between his lips as he did so. He sucked back on the cigarette as he fixed the collar on his leather jacket before casually strutting over towards Joe. Everyone made way for Billy who walked up to Joe and placed his hand on the back of Joe's head and pulled his head towards his. They rested foreheads against each others for a split second before pulling away and giving Joe a pat on the shoulder. The Darley way of showing 'affection'.

"You handled that pretty fuckin' good." Billy started as he wrapped his arm around Joe's shoulder, "I'm proud of you. Who's the man now?" Billy whispered as he let Joe go and began to walk around towards his drivers side door, "Get in the car."

They all divided into both of the cars and both cars did a u-turn in the middle of the busy street before peeling off down the road almost causing a collision.

\------------

"Are you...dead?" Christy asked as she poked my head.

My eyelids fluttered as I slowly woke up from the deep sleep I was just in. I was still completely naked and the only thing covering my lower half was Billy's blanket. Good thing I sleep on my stomach or Christy would be seeing my boobs.

"Jesus! Hello!" Megan exclaimed as she walked into the bedroom behind Christy.

"Why are you guys here?" I groaned. "I'm tired..."

Megan snorted and plopped down on the bed beside me, "Move over naked lady."

"Careful you don't sit in semen stains." Christy snarled.

"Shut up." I growled as I sat up, not caring if my two best chick friends saw me topless. "Can you find my clothes...?" I asked Christy.

"Nice jugs." Megan said dully.

"Thanks." I replied coolly.

"Did those hurt?" Megan asked.

"Like a mother fucker." I replied.

"Okay! Enough nipple piercing talk!" Christy exclaimed, picking up a black garbage that she had brought in with her and tossing it onto the bed. "Here's pretty much all your stuff you brought when you moved in."

"You brought my stuff?... I'm not even sure if he was serio-"

"He told me to." Christy interrupted me.

Megan was scanning the room, nodding her head in appreciation at Billy's posters he had lazily tacked to the wall. I began to untie the black garbage bag full of my clothes and search for clean undergarments and something to wear tonight. While I was at it, I found my shampoo and conditioner and my makeup bag. Christy appeared to be on edge and I don't think it had anything to do with drugs. Something was up and she was trying her best to keep whatever it was from me. I've known her long enough to know when she's bothered over something and well enough to know when she's trying to hide something from me.

"Well?" I asked, directing my question towards Christy.

Christy spun around and stared at me dully, "What?"

"You know what." I hissed as I slipped on one of Billy's t-shirts laying on the floor beside the bed.

Christy scoffed, "No, I don't know. Care to fucking elaborate?"

"Here we go..." Megan groaned, sliding down in the bed and pulling out her phone as a distraction from the argument Christy and I were about to have.

"Something's bothering you." I stated the obvious.

"Yeah?" Christy asked, raising her eyebrows. "Good fucking observation."

I rolled my eyes as I climbed out of bed finally and headed towards the bathroom, "Whatever then, Christy. I was just trying to help. You know? since we're suppose to be 'best friends' and all." I called out from the bathroom.

I sat my clothes on the bathroom counter and pulled Billy's shirt off, carelessly tossing it on the floor before turning on the taps and climbing into the shower once the water was the right temperature for a shower. I still wanted to get to the bottom of this so I quickly washed and conditioned my hair and washed my body down.

Christy walked into the bathroom just as I was stepping out and wrapping a towel around myself, "Look... I don't know how serious you think this is going to get... but... It's no picnic. Believe me when I say that. I've been with Joe long enough to know this."

"Well considering Billy's a gang leader, I believe you." I replied shortly, slipping on my bra and underwear.

"Amber... Joe was hit by a car last night." Christy sighed.

"What?!" I exclaimed frantically.

"He's... he's okay..." Christy replied, somehow not seeming to concerned with the fact that Joe was hit by a car. "But uh... Amber.."

Christy glanced at herself in the mirror before staring back over at me with a blank expression. I cocked an eyebrow as I zipped up my jeans and began to towel dry my naturally pin straight hair. Christy sighed and leaned against the door frame, clicking her jaw to the side as she tried to find words to say.

"Joe was hit after doing his initiation for Billy's gang." Christy stated awkwardly.

I dropped my eye liner brush in the sink and slowly turned around to face her, "...What?"

"You knew what they were about.." Christy murmured.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked slowly.

Christy winced, "We tried to warn you about this... I think you should maybe reconsider this... I don't think you're about this life."

"Where the fuck is Billy?" I growled.

"They're all celebrating... at the Four Roses." Christy replied with a gulp.

It was obvious that she wasn't suppose to tell me about this. I shoved past Christy and stormed out of the bathroom and into my new room that I now share with Billy and grabbed my cellphone. At first I debated on calling Billy but instead I gathered my purse from inside the black garbage bag full of my belongings Christy had brought me. I decided that going to the Four Roses instead of trying to call Billy would be a better idea.

"Amber..." Christy groaned.

"Shut up!" I hissed. "You weren't going to tell me, were you?!"

Christy shrugged, "You knew what you were-"

"I know!" I shouted. "You think I'm not fucking cut out for this?!"

"Well.. I mean.. No." Christy replied honestly.

"Then you thought wrong." I stated boldly.

Christy rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. I was about to say something to her when Megan suddenly jumped up off of Billy's bed and narrowed her eyes into a squint as she stared at her phone screen. Her mouth fell agape and she scoffed loudly as she re-read whatever it was that she had just read on her phone.

"What... the... FUCK?!" Megan roared.

Both Christy and I shot our eyes up at Megan, "What?"

"Jack's working for Billy!" Megan screamed. "Where are they?!"

"The Four Roses..." Christy replied reluctantly.

"Lets go!" Both Megan and I shouted before storming out of the room and leaving Christy standing there sighing and rolling her eyes.

Shit was definitely about to hit the fan.


	17. Chapter 16

"You're being fucking dramatic. You knew what he was like. He's a fucking gang leader for Christ sake!" Christy roared at me from the back seat as Megan pulled into a parking space outside of the Four Roses.

My eyes scanned the parking lot landing on Billy's car next to Heco's of course. Of course I knew what I was getting into with Billy. I'm not stupid, I know what Billy does and what he's capable of. But that's not the reason why I'm mad. Well, of course deep down I'm livid that Joe was involved in an initiation where you have to kill someone at random to prove your worth. Something about this situation makes me feel like it wasn't just a 'random'.

"You alright, Meg?" I asked softly, staring over at Megan who had just flung her seatbelt off and turned the car off. Megan's lip quivered and she shook her head before swinging open the car door and jumping out. I sighed loudly and took my seatbelt off but paused and stared out the window. I exhaled a shaky breathe, "Fuck."

"Why are you even mad? I thought you could handle this." Christy sneered.

"Oh, believe me. I can." I growled and swung open the car door.

The sun was just setting, making the sky a beautiful shade of red/orange. The cool breeze blew my hair wildly in the wind. Megan was so furious that her face was beat red and I could tell that tears were swelling up in the corners of her eyes as she stormed over to the bar doors. But before she could get inside the bar, Jack stumbled out from inside the bar and wrapped his arms around her, trying to hold her back from going inside the bar and raising hell with Billy.

"Stop!" Jack shouted firmly.

"What the hell are you thinking?!" Megan exclaimed, tears now streaming down her face.

Jack ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged, "I have to do what I have to do. You think I like having my girlfriend work her ass off at a fucking pizza place to make sure we eat? Fuck that!" Jack shouted. Megan shook her head in disbelief and wiped away the few tears that had escaped her eyes. "I don't do any of the shit... Besides... Billy is gonna be with me when I sell."

"How the fuck is that suppose to make me feel any better?! A fucking rival gang has been causing them problems!" Megan shouted, making me stop dead in my tracks and look at her.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

Christy scoffed, "As if you didn't know. Don't play dumb. B-street has been trying to take over some of Billy's turf."

"...Fucking lovely." I murmured.

Jack glanced over at Christy and I before staring back down at Megan who looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown at any moment, "If it gets bad... I'll tell him I'm out. Simple as that."

"Is it?" I asked, jumping into the conversation.

"It really is." Jack replied, wide eyed.

I folded my arms across my chest and sighed, "Where you there?"

"Where?" Jack asked confused.

"...Last night." I replied in a shaky tone.

Jack shook his head, "No..."

Christy rolled her eyes, "See."

"YOU BETTER NOT HAVE!" Megan screeched.

"I'm selling... I'm not doing anything else. No initiation for me..." Jack said in a whisper almost like he was ashamed. "Billy's only letting me in because it'll help you and I out..."

"So all you're doing is selling drugs for Bones?" Megan asked in a shaky tone.

Jack winced, "For Billy... but most of the profit goes to his dad, yeah."

I had heard enough, I turned on one heel and ripped open the bar doors, leaving Megan and Jack standing there. Christy chewed her gum obnoxiously and reluctantly followed behind me inside the bar. The loud rock music echoed throughout the bar and my chest heaved in and out as I fumed, looking around the surprisingly busy bar. Sammy stared at me from behind the bar and glanced over at Billy and his boys sitting and drinking and smoking at their usual table. Judging by Sammy's facial expression, I clearly wasn't suppose to be here right now or know about anything that I did.

Just as I was about to take a step forward towards their table, Christy grabbed me by my shoulder and spun me around to face her, "Amber... I'm serious when I say that if you're not cut out for this. Then fucking walk. Now."

I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and glared at her. I thought of a bunch of things to say but somehow no words came out. Instead, I turned back around and headed over to the table and sat down beside Billy who had his hands folded together, elbows on the table and a cigarette between his fingers. He glanced over at me, emotionless but I could tell that he wasn't happy that I was here.

"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly.

"I need to talk to you." I choked out.

Billy took a drag off of his cigarette and exhaled a cloud of smoke in my direction, "About what?"

I glanced over at Christy who had just been passed a small glass mirror with cocaine lines across it. She stared at me and shook her head before lowering her head down and snorting a line of white powder up her nose. Joe had one arm around the back of Christy's chair and was scratching the back of his neck, staring at me knowing that I was pissed off.

I swallowed hard and stared down at the table, "Hold that thought." I whispered as I got up and left Billy sitting there, watching me as I walked over to the bar where Megan and Jack were sitting. Sammy stared at me awkwardly, chewing his gum obnoxiously as he glanced over at Billy. "Can I get two shots of whiskey. Please."

Sammy stared at me for what seemed like forever before grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey and two shot glasses. He poured the shots and slid them over to me, I took a deep breathe and picked up one of the shot glasses and held it up to my lips. I threw it back and clamped my eyes shut as the burning sensation of whiskey slid down my throat.

Megan leaned forward to get a better look at me, "Careful... remember that night we first met? Whiskey is not your friend."

I bit the inside of my cheek as I set down the empty shot glass and picked up the other shot and threw it back. I gasped as I wiped my lips off with my arm. I was about to put down cash on the counter for the drinks Sammy had just poured me but Sammy shook his head at me, "...They're on the house."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "Really?"

"You're going to need them." He replied flatly.

That's an understatement.

Billy was watching me like a hawk as I made my way back over to the table but instead of sitting down next to Billy, I sat down on a chair next to Christy, across from Billy. Billy shrugged and smirked a little, like he could care less about how mad I clearly was. Christy tilted her head back and sniffled a few times, making sure no cocaine fell out of her nose.

"Where did you go last night when I fell asleep?" I asked Billy directly.

Everyone at the table became stiff at shifted their eyes from me onto Billy. Billy narrowed his eyes into a squint as he put his cigarette out in the ashtray in front of him on the table. I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I tried to calm myself down in order to ask my next question that I had for him.

"None of ya fuckin' business." Billy replied sharply.

I smirked, shaking my head in disbelief, "Was it Shane?"

Everyone instantly stopped doing what they were doing and became awkward. Heco glanced over at Bodie who was staring at me wide eyed, taken back from what I had just asked Billy. Christy even sat up straight and nudged me with her elbow, trying to get me to shut up while I still could.

"Fuck are you talking about?" Billy hissed in annoyance.

"Did you or did you not kill Shane?" I asked flatly. "Is that why you have that picture from his wallet?" I asked again, my tone of voice more firm than it was before.

Billy smirked as he pulled out another cigarette from his pack and placed it between his lips. Billy lit the end of his cigarette and tossed his lighter down on the table, making me jump slightly in my seat. He leaned back in his chair and yanked the cigarette out from between his lips, "I didn't."

Smoke slowly exited Billy's mouth as he nodded over at Bodie and Baggy, "Like I said. I didn't."

"It wasn't Shane... Joe said it was a member from B-street gang..." Christy whispered in my ear.

"You fucking killed him?!" I whimpered out.

"He was going to kill ya." Billy replied dully, as if he could care less.

"You... You... That wasn't. You can't decide who lives and who dies..." I stuttered. "Did... you fucking kill him?" I asked again, hoping he'd say no.

"No." Billy replied as he exhaled smoke in my direction. I sighed in relief and glanced up at Billy, staring deep into his piercing baby blue eyes. "But I called it." 

My heart sunk into my stomach and a lump formed inside of my throat. I knew it, I fucking knew it deep down but yet I was naive enough to hope that he hadn't done it. For a few moments, I stared down at Tommy's burning cigarette in the ashtray as I heard everyone begin to start drinking and talking yet once again. Christy continued to snort lines of cocaine off of the mirror every time it was passed back to her from Heco and pretty much everyone except Billy, Bodie and myself.

I really did try to understand where Billy was coming from. It was no secret that Shane was intending on killing me that night if it weren't for Billy kicking my door in and pulling a gun on him. Shane deserved to die... He didn't deserve a chance to hurt me again or any other girl for that matter. But that fact that he was killed because of me... was hard to swallow.

"Amber." Billy called out, making me snap my head up in his direction. "I protect what's mine."

I didn't say anything and he never said anything else. Instead he got up from his seat and walked over to Jack and Megan who were still sitting at the bar. In the distance I could hear Billy talking to Jack about what he needed to do tonight. Heco snorted hard as he moved his straw along the white thick line of cocaine on the mirror, snorting it up his nose like a vacuum cleaner. Heco smiled smugly as he went to shove the glass mirror full of cocaine lines across the table over to Joe. But before he could, I grabbed the mirror and slid it over in front of me on the table.

"What are you doing?!" Christy exclaimed as she stared at me wide eyed.

"What's it look like?" I replied coolly as I grabbed the rolled dollar bill from her hand and pulled my hair back before lowering my head down and holding one nostril shut as I snorted a line of cocaine up my nose.

I snorted hard so that no cocaine would fall out of my nose. I tilted my head back and sniffled a couple times. A disgusting taste in my throat formed and I clicked my jaw to the side as I reached for the nearest drink I could find on the table. Heco smirked and watched as I chugged back his beer, trying to get rid of the taste in my throat.

"That's called the drips." Heco stated.

"It's okay, it means it's good shit." Christy stated.

Bodie shot his head over at Billy who luckily was still talking away with Jack and Megan. Bodie shook his head in disbelief, "You best hope he don't catch you doin' that."

I shrugged and moved my now numb jaw from side to side, impatiently waiting for the mirror of cocaine to be passed around the table back to me. It was my first time ever snorting cocaine but I was enjoying it. The wired, awake and alert feeling it gave me after just one line. The numbness in my teeth, gums, tongue... It almost made me forget everything that I had learned tonight. My heart began to race rapidly and I had to control my breathing, I felt like I was high on adrenaline. My heart continued to race making me feel like I had to puke. Yet when the mirror came back around, I snorted two more lines.

"I'm going to have a heart attack." I whispered to Christy, debating if I should rush to the bathroom in case I have to throw up.

"If you have to puke, go puke. It's fine. But you won't... just here... slowly sip this drink. Your heart will stop racing if you just relax." Christy soothed.

Time seemed to be going by slowly as I became nervous and sketchy, casually glancing up at the clock on the wall every few seconds as if time was just going to magically go faster. But sure enough, my heart rate started to go back to normal and the sipping of the beer that I didn't want to risk mixing with cocaine, but did anyway, helped slightly. I no longer felt like I needed to throw up, which was a good thing. I was only able to make myself not want to throw up by calming myself down and my breathing.

I grew even more impatient as I watched Christy snort three lines before finally passing me the mirror. I hurried to snort a couple lines, forgetting to check to make sure that Billy still was preoccupied and wasn't watching what I was doing. I had managed to snort three lines before I leaned my head back and sniffled a few times.

Just when I was about to have one more line, a strong hand wrapped itself around my upper arm and dragged me roughly up to stand on my feet. I winced in pain as their grip tightened on my arm and I stared up to see Billy's furious face staring down at me. My jaw clicked from side to side as Billy's chest heaved in and out. He gritted his teeth and literally drug me through the bar towards the doors. Megan and Jack glanced at me - Megan shaking her head at me for what she had just witnessed me doing.

"Let me the fuck go!" I screamed as we got outside.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Billy barked, stopping in his tracks causing me to slam into his chest. Billy didn't even so much as flinch.

"I'm just fucking being like you!" I hissed.

"Like me?! You fucking think I do that shit?!" Billy shouted in my face, spit flying out of his mouth as he yelled.

"Wouldn't surprise me..." I mumbled under my breathe.

I watched as Billy stared past me, I sighed loudly as I glanced over my shoulder to see what it was he was staring at. Sure enough, everyone, all nine of his gang - that includes Jack - were standing outside the bar, awkwardly watching us. Megan and Christy stood next to Joe who was now standing only a few feet away from Billy - and winced. I turned my head and stared back up at Billy who wiped his mouth of with his sleeve and stared back into my eyes.

"Get in the car." He demanded as he whispered in my ear.

"No!" I exclaimed.

Billy's boys awkwardly walked over to where Joe, Christy and Megan were standing, watching us as I refused to do what Billy told me to do, making Billy clenching his jaw so tight that you could see his muscles in his face. Most of his boys stood there afraid to say anything while Joe. Heco and Jamie sparked up their cigarettes and puffed away on their cigarettes as they watched the show going on between Billy and I.

"Get in the fuckin' car." He repeated firmly.

"No! I'm not going anywhere with you tonight. I don't have to do a fucking thing you tell me to." I spat, glaring up at him in disgust.

"Amber..." Billy seethed, "Get in the fucking car!" He hollered making me wince.

"NO!" I screamed, "I don't want anything to do with you anymore!" I shouted, clearly not meaning what I was saying.

To be honest, I think I'm in love with him.

"Funny, that's not what it seemed like when you were screaming my name over and over again last night and this morning." Billy replied coolly as he pulled out a cigarette from his pack.

Megan's eyes widened at what she was hearing while Joe started to choke on his cigarette from inhaling smoke while laughing, his boys snickered and put their heads down. My jaw dropped as my eyes widened at what Billy just had the nerve to say in front of everyone. I could feel my cheeks flush red in embarrassment. My shocked expression quickly turned into rage as I gritted my teeth and glared at him. Billy stood there casually with a smug look across his face. I wanted to punch the look right off of him. Our eyes were glaring at one another as he lit the cigarette in between his lips, still staring at me.

"Why don't you go kill someone? That's all you're good for." I shouted as I shook my head in disbelief before storming past him and his stupid car.

How did I allow myself to give in to this asshole?

"Better than being a useless and scared bitch." Billy spat back.

I turned around and faced him, stomping up to him so that I was only inches away from him, "Go sell drugs for daddy." I whined in a mocking tone.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Billy shouted as he threw his half smoked cigarette on the ground and grabbing me by the arm, spinning me around to face him. His grip was so tight around my upper arm that I was now wincing, regretting what I had just said.

Everyone had now stopped laughing and were all looking in our direction, shocked that I just had the nerve to say what I did. A lump formed in Christy's throat as she stared at Joe nervously, Joe returning the nervous stare as he scratched the back of his neck, thinking of what he could say to stop the confrontation going on between Billy and I. Bodie's eyes widened as he knew the look that was on Billy's face... that look never meant anything good. Billy was in a rage and Bodie, being the longest friend Billy has ever had, knew that this was going to end badly.

"You going to fucking hit me? Hit me, you piece of shit. Hit me!" I taunted, shouting in his face.

Joe threw his cigarette to the ground as him and Bodie went to stand by Billy, just in case he finally snaps, then they could at least pull him off me or vise versa. Billy gritted his teeth before grunting and releasing my arm out of his grasp. His shoulder collided with mine as he started to walk away, shoving me a little almost making me lose my balance. Joe sighed in relief before following Billy.

"Billy..." Joe called after him calmly.

"Stupid fucking bitch." Billy mumbled.

"Awe, better run to daddy, Billy. Before daddy freaks out on you again for not selling his drugs for him. Since you've been too busy killing people!" I mocked again. My eyes widened and my mouth opened a little from shock as I realized what I just said.

Everyone gasped as Billy stopped walking towards his car door, spinning around and jumping towards me, grabbing me again and slamming me up against his car. I whimpered in fear as I looked up at Billy's face to see his eyes were bulging from wild anger, his jaw clenched while gritting his teeth as his chest heaved in and out and his nostrils flared. He grabbed my jaw, not too tight but firmly enough to make me look up at him as he whispered in my ear, his heavy warm breathe tickling my ear as he spoke.

"Shut your fucking trap, bitch." Billy whispered harshly. "You don't have a fucking clue about ANYTHING!" He shouted making my body tremble with fear.

"Billy!" Christy screamed from behind him.

"Yo! Dawg, what the fuck are you doin?! That's Amber! Calm down Billy!" Bodie shouted.

"Billy! What the fuck man?! Billy, let her go. This fight isn't worth it... stop. Come on, walk away." Joe pleaded with him. "Help!" Joe shouted at the others.

Baggy rolled his eyes, sighing as he approached Billy, "Billy, come on. Someone's going to call the cops. Let her go."

"I wasn't fucking kidding when I said I'm worse than what anyone has told you." Billy whispered harshly as he roughly pulled his hand away from my jaw, making my head fly back slightly.

Billy stepped back away from slowly, giving me room to get unpinned from in between him and his car. My lip quivered as I stared at everyone who was staring at me awkwardly. My blood was boiling from anger so bad that I even felt the urge to start bawling, but I wasn't going to play in to his game. Instead I blinked away the warm tears that tried to escape my eyes and ripped open his passenger side door, "Take me to get my stuff from your place."


	18. Chapter 17

Billy never said even so much as one word to me when he got in the car. All he did was speed out of the parking lot while I stared out the window, trying to hide the fact that I was choking back tears. I refused to let myself cry in front of him or any other man for that matter. But for some reason I couldn't control it. Tears were streaming down my face and I sniffling but still trying to make it seem like nothing was going on.

I glanced over at Billy for a brief moment to see that he had lit yet another cigarette and was gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning white. His jaw tightened and he sniffled hard, making me wonder if Billy had been snorting cocaine before I got there. Honestly at this point, it would not fucking surprise me whatsoever if he was. Not like I can talk, I was just snorting lines with Christy in front of people where I work.

"What's ya fuckin' problem?" Billy asked coldly, finally killing the awkward silence between the both of us.

Just hearing his voice made me begin to sob harder than I already was. I tried to choke out words but nothing came out besides more tears. I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands, covering my face while I sobbed uncontrollably.

"You knew what I was like!" Billy exclaimed.

I sat up, face red and soaked with tears, "I fucking KNOW!" I screamed abruptly. "God! I am so fucking sick of everyone belittling me here! I can fucking handle this! It's YOU that I can't fucking handle."

I exhaled a shaky breathe and wiped away my tears, "I'm tired of you thinking I'm just some scared little 'bitch' as you put it. I never asked you to fucking save my life that night! I never fucking asked you to "call" Shane's death! I never asked-"

I sighed loudly again, "And B-street! What the fuck is the truth behind that?! Are people trying to kill you?"

Billy took a long drag off his cigarette before answering me, "Not yet."

"What does that even mean!" I exclaimed, my face dropping. "I can't keep doing this! You keep me in the dark with everything!"

"Then why the fuck are you wasting your time?!" Billy barked loudly, shutting me up instantly.

"Because! I fucking lo-" I paused, realizing what I was only seconds away from blurting out. I slouched back in my seat and stared back out the window, "Because I care about you... You're my boyfriend."

Billy yanked his cigarette out of his mouth and shot his head over in my direction, "Well..." he started, raising his eyebrows. "Don't."

My heart sunk and a lump formed in my throat. He was clearly still angry but he was deliberately being cruel trying to hurt my feelings. My bottom lip quivered as I stared out the window, trying to focus on something else in hopes of avoiding bursting out into tears yet once again. Billy's breathing was heavy as he leaned his head back against the head rest and pressed down harder on the gas.

"Can you fucking slow down?!" I snapped. "That's all I need now is to die because you can't control your fucking temper."

A smirk grew across Billy's face as he sped up even faster, making the car roar loudly. I turned my head and narrowed my eyes into a glare as I put my seatbelt on and folded my arms across my chest. Billy's eyes glanced from the road over to me and then back towards the road as he continued to speed faster. I winced as I reached out and placed one hand on the dash while the other hand gripped onto the passenger side door.

"Billy..." I whimpered. "BILLY!" I screamed as he swerved, trying to get a rise out of me.

Billy laughed maliciously and slowed down, "See. Scared."

"Well no shit you fucking asshole!" I shouted, placing a hand over my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly. "Let me out! I'll walk back to get my stuff!" I growled.

Billy ignored me as he pulled up where he usually parked under the bridge, a safe distance away from the lit oil barrel's so that no ash or anything could touch his precious car. Billy turned off the ignition and tilted his head to the side, scratching the side of his jaw as he pondered whatever the fuck it was that he was thinking about.

"Funny, I thought I said to take me back to your place to get my stuff." I murmured, "Not take me to one of the locations you sell drugs at."

"Too fuckin' bad." Billy replied sternly as he reached into the back seat, grabbing a backpack full of drugs before climbing out of the car and slamming the door behind him.

"You fuc-"

"Come the fuck on." Billy called out from outside the car.

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly climbed out of the car, following behind him. Once we reached the abandoned desk, I pulled myself up and dangled my legs off the edge. I clicked my jaw to the side and rolled my eyes as Billy placed the backpack down on the desk beside me, revealing all the drugs inside. I wasn't experiencing the numbing feeling inside of my mouth anymore but I definitely was still wired from the cocaine, making me want more, especially having it placed in a backpack right beside me.

"Still mad?" Billy asked, not looking up at me as he grabbed a small baggy of cocaine and juggled it in his hands.

I sighed loudly, "I really don't understand you. Like at all." I bit my bottom lip nervously and ran my fingers through my hair, "You go from 'oh I protect what's mine' to telling me not to care about you."

"I do." Billy replied calmly as he stood in front of me, in between my legs.

"You do what?" I asked in a whisper, avoiding making eye contact with him.

Billy placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled my forehead against his, our faces only inches apart, "Protect what's mine."

"Stop leaving me in the dark." I whispered as I placed my hands on both sides of his neck and gently placed my lips against his. "I don't care if you don't want me to, but I care about you anyway."

"Still leaving?" Billy asked slyly.

I giggled and placed another kiss on Billy's mouth before speaking, "God you piss me off."

Billy smirked before crashing his lips against mine and deepening the kiss. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck. I couldn't fathom how easy it was to give into Billy. I really was falling in love with him, more and more each day.

We didn't pull apart until the crunching sound of the gravel from a car pulling up near us. Billy pulled his face away from mine but kissed my forehead before turning around. I straightened my back out and stared past Billy, watching as a heavy set man with thick black square glasses with tape in the middle holding the frame together, climbed out of his car and waddled towards us. My eyes glanced over at Billy, who's face had a look of annoyance and slight fear on it.

"Well, fucking well. Isn't this a cute fucking sight!" The man exclaimed as he nodded towards Billy and I. Confusion took over me, making me cock an eyebrow up as Billy took a few steps forward, but right in my line of vision, almost as if he was trying to block the man from looking at me more than he already was.

"What do you want?" Billy asked calm and collected, surprising me with his tone of voice.

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared down at the gravel, hoping that the man would leave or buy his drugs and go. Judging by Billy's body language and how calm he was talking - which was not like Billy, at all - I knew this man was trouble and I'm afraid that this man is from the B-street gang that Billy's having problems with.

"I want my fuckin' money is what I fuckin' want, nazi!" The fat man shouted. Billy tilted his head to the side and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I give you and those fuckin' half wit friends of yours jobs and you mother fuckers don't do what I pay you to fucking do! Where the fuck were all of you last night?!"

Billy shrugged, "Got busy."

"Well." The man chuckled, "If you fucking faggott half-wits aren't going to do the job I pay you mother fuckers to do then I guess I should just fucking kill you useless pricks!" He hollered making Billy's body straighten out and lean his head back slightly.

"I fucking told you! You fucking work for me, you FUCKING work for ME." He shouted again, shoving Billy back slightly. "I don't give a flying rats ass what the fuck you fucking idiots get busy with, I come first or I'll fucking kill ya!"

Billy exhaled a deep breathe and threw his hands up, slightly raising his eyebrows, "Our bad."

The man gritted his teeth and Billy's lack of care towards the matter he was screaming about, "You God damn right it's your fucking bad." He growled in a low tone before glancing over at me. Billy must have caught the man's gaze on me because he took a step forward in front of the fat man, trying to block his view of me yet once again. The man chuckled evilly and shoved Billy back a lot harder than he had before. A hard lump formed in my throat and my hands became clammy from nervousness. He stared me up and down and slightly shook his head at me. "You never bring your whores with you anywhere..."

Billy clenched his jaw and started to breathe heavily as the man started to put two and two together. The fat man glanced at me before slowly turning back around to face Billy, "Well, well, well... you finally got yourself a girlfriend, didn't you Nazi?"

Billy stared at me, I could tell by his expression that he was worried and the fact that he wasn't saying anything made me even more concerned and afraid than I already was. Who the fuck was this man?!

"You best do what I tell you to do if you know what's good for you, Billy boy." The man threatened in a low but stern tone before turning around and staring back at me. "And you... I don't know why the hell someone that looks like you is wasting her fuckin' time with a useless fucking half-wit like Billy."

The man smirked and chuckled faintly before stomping over to Billy and placing his hand on the back of Billy's head and pulling Billy's forehead against his for a brief second. When they pulled apart, Billy hung his head down in shame. My mouth fell agape and a small gasp escaped my mouth as the man did this. Billy always did this to Joe, as it was their way of showing affection. A light went off in my mind as I realized that this fat, ignorant man was Billy's father... the infamous Bones Darley.

"Quit lettin' me down, son." Bones said calmly, patting Billy on the shoulder roughly before heading over to his car and taking off, sending gravel flying as he sped away.

Now I was extremely uncomfortable because I didn't know what I should do or what I should try and say. Billy remained standing where he was. I folded my hands in my lap and stared down at my chipped black nail polish, focusing on the fact that I need to start being like Christy and keeping up with little things like this. I didn't know how Billy was going to react now... All I knew was that I wasn't going to say a damn word. I know better than to say anything stupid when he's angry like this.

Billy stretched tilted his head to the side, stretching his neck and sniffled hard. It was obvious that he was still fuming from the encounter we just had with his father. Billy wasn't facing me and I was growing cold and tired. Billy glanced at me from over his shoulder, our eyes met and my stomach twisted in knots as I watched him shift his eyes away, breaking the gaze we had on one another. Billy exhaled a deep breathe, and ran his hand over his shaved head before placing his hands on his hips, looking away from me, in deep thought.

"I have my reasons for keeping you in the fuckin' dark." He stated, awakening me from my thoughts.

"Billy..." I whispered.

Billy pulled a cigarette out of his pack and placed it in between his lips as he dug into his pockets, trying to find his flip-lighter and started to walk towards me. "This is who I fuckin' am, Amber. This is my fuckin' life." He went off, voice muffled from the cigarette between his lips as he spoke. "Fuck!" He shouted when he couldn't find his lighter. I shivered as I realized that Billy was probably going to take out his anger on me by yelling at me.

"This is who I am and this is who I'll always fuckin' be!" He shouted making me jump a little. "Don't waste your fucking time 'caring' about me." He shouted again making tears begin to swell up in the corners of my eyes.

I choked back tears and licked my lips, "Billy..."

"What the fuck do you want from me?!" Billy asked between gritted teeth, his nostrils flaring as his eyes widening as his anger rose.

My lip quivered and a few tears rolled down my cheeks, "Billy... I-..I- I don't want anything from you." I wiped the tears off of my face and swallowed hard before continuing, "I'm not wasting my time... I don't care what Bones says or what anyone says."

"I don't know how to deal with this shit. I'm not good with this okay?!" Billy exclaimed before looking over at me and sighing, "Will you quit fuckin' bawling?"

"Excuse the fuck out of me for being upset! I'm trying to take everything in and I can't help be worried about you! I'm falling in love with a man who's a gang leader!" I shouted, instantly stopping my sobbing, my eyes widening as I realized what I had just let slip out from my mouth.

Billy's back straightened out as he froze from becoming tense at what I had just said, "What?" He asked slowly turning his head to look at me.

"What?" I asked casually, hoping that he didn't catch what I had just admitted.

"What did you just say?" He asked calmly.

I shrugged, "Well... it's true, you are a gang leader..."

"The other thing." Billy hissed, squinting his eyes into a glare at me.

I swallowed hard and stared down at my legs that were still dangling off the desk. Slowly I lifted my head up to stare at Billy, "I said..." I started, pausing to take a deep breathe.

"I said... I said I love you, Billy."


	19. Chapter 18

Billy's body became tense at my words. I felt awkward and embarrassed, wondering if I had just made the wrong decision by telling him my true feelings about him. Billy exhaled a long sigh as he walked over to me, making me extremely nervous. Billy stood in between my legs that were still dangling off of the desk. He placed his hands on the side of my face, cupping my face as he lifted my head up to look at him. His thumbs wiped away a few random tears that were still on my cheek. I closed my eyes as Billy rested his forehead against mine.

"You're too good for me." He said softly. "I don't know why ya waste your time with someone like me."

I bit the inside of my cheek nervously as I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest, "Because... I love you."

"I don't care if you don't love me... but I can't keep it inside any longer... I love you." I added in a whisper.

"Ya mean that?" Billy asked firmly as he exhaled a breathe through his nose.

"Clearly." I replied wide eyed. "Obviously you don't... but... it's how I feel and believe it or not, I do." I added as I looked away.

"Hey..." Billy started, making me look up at him. "I do love you."

"You mean that?" I asked curiously.

"I wouldn't fuckin' say it if I didn't." Billy replied sternly making me roll my eyes. "I just don't.." Billy paused, clicking his jaw to the side and placing a hand on the back of his neck.

"What?" I asked softly.

"I don't want anything happening to ya." Billy replied, staring back into my eyes.

A sly smirk formed from the corners of my mouth, "Nothing's going to happen to me." I retorted. "After all, you protect what's yours right?"

Billy grinned and shook his head slightly before crashing his lips against my own. We aren't exactly a good pair in the eyes of other people but in our own eyes, we're the perfect couple. Regardless of everything Billy has done or who he is and what he does, I am head over heels, madly in love with him. I feel an odd sense of security whenever Billy is around. I haven't felt this safe in a long time and even that is saying a lot considering the life style Billy lives.

I pulled away from Billy, my arms still wrapped around his neck as I stared into his piercing blue eyes and smiled a goofy smile, "How long is this going to take? I'm starving."

Billy smirked and glanced around, "Heco can take care of this shit." Billy responded before intertwining our fingers together and leading me back towards his car, hand in hand.

This isn't going to be no happy go lucky, "Twilight" / "Notebook" type of relationship... and I'm okay with that, as long as I'm Billy Darley's girl.

Once we were inside of the car and as Billy was starting the car, I leaned over and placed a few kisses along his jaw line. I pulled my head back slightly, biting my bottom lip as I watched Billy place a cigarette between his lips and hold up a flip lighter to the end of the cigarette. Watching the flame light the end of the cigarette and how Billy's cheeks sucked in as he inhaled a drag off of the cigarette was somehow mesmerizing to me. Billy didn't seem to care that I was so close to him while he was driving. All he did was roll down his window and rest his elbow on the car door as he drove. He glanced at me as I leaned forward even closer to him, resting my left arm on the headrest of his seat and my right hand flat down on the seat in between his legs.

A sly smirk formed on the corners of my mouth as I ran my tongue up his neck up to his ear lobe where I gently nibbled on his ear. Billy pulled the cigarette out from in between his lips and exhaled smoke out through his nose as he turned his attention from the road over to me, "You're gonna be the death of me."

"Pull over." I demanded in a soft tone.

"Thought ya were hungry." Billy stated, raising his eyebrows for a moment, pulling the car over and letting it idle.

I smirked as I grabbed the ends of my shirt and slowly pulled my tank top off over my head, now sitting there in my black lacy bra. My eyes scanned the area, the bridge we were just under still in view. Nobody was in sight and it was dark out. Billy turned the key off as I ran my hand up his thigh all the way to his belt buckle. Billy exhaled a slow breathe as I undid his jeans, I glanced up at him with anxious eyes as I pulled my hair to the side over my right shoulder and out of the way.

The music was loud and I was quick at starting what I had been planning to do. Billy took a drag off his cigarette as I opened my mouth and started to do my thing. Billy sat back comfortably in his seat, leaning his head back as he shut his eyes and exhaled smoke slowly out of his mouth. He ran his hand slowly up my back and stopped once he reached the top of my head, taking a handful of my hair into his fist. Judging by his breathing patterns, I could tell he was enjoying the fact that I don't have a gag reflex.

While I was busy doing what I was doing, I was completely unaware that Billy and I in fact weren't alone. In the distance sat a black suburban parked with it's lights off. Inside sat two men, both heavily tattooed and smirking as they smoked a joint and watched Billy's car carefully. Both of them looked to be late 20's maybe, maybe 30. The one in the passenger seat had shaggy black hair while the one in the drivers seat had black hair with spiked bangs and spiked hair, both wearing band t-shirts with the sleeves cut off revealing all of their detailed tattoo sleeves.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. Billy Darley has a girlfriend now?!" The one in the passenger seat scoffed, the joint still burning between his fingers.

"She's hot as fuck too." The one in the drivers seat replied as he took the joint that he was just passed. "Matt's gonna love this."

"You gonna call him, Syn?" The other one asked curiously.

'Syn' shrugged, "Not while I'm enjoying the show."

The other one, named Zack, chuckled as he was handed back the joint they were both sharing, "You think Billy did it?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way..." Syn started as he narrowed his eyes out the window to see that Billy had started the car again and was leaving. "-Shouldn't have fucked with B-street."

\----------------------

The next day was a typical day for me. Billy dropped me off at work and went to "the office" while my shift was seeming to fly by as I was working with both Christy and Ramona tonight. I was lazily leaning against the bar and drawing random zombie strippers again as Christy was sweeping the floor behind me and Ramona was pouring more beer for the three men - our daily regulars - sat at the bar.

The bar door swung open and in walked a tired looking Jack. He plopped down on a bar stool and groaned as he stared down at the napkin I was doodling on. He cocked an eyebrow as I stared up at him and studied his face. He was tired, his eyes wide and hair a mess as usual.

"Hey you." I greeted warmly.

"Hey." Jack replied dully. "Can I get some coffee?" Jack asked as he scratched the back of his neck.

I nodded and grabbed a clean coffee mug from behind the bar and walked over to the coffee pot where I poured Jack a cup of black coffee. Jack reached into his pocket, pulling out some cash but I shook my head and stopped him as I sat the cup down in front of him. "It's on me. You look like you need it."

Jack sighed and flashed me a weak smile, "Thanks Amber."

"What's bothering you?" I asked softly.

"Megan." Jack grumbled. "She just doesn't understand that I'm doing this for us..."

I sighed loudly, "Jack... you can't blame her for being-"

"Well what about you? It's no different." Jack interrupted me.

I clicked my jaw to the side and nodded agreeing with what he was saying, "That is true..."

"Never made cash so fast in my life." Jack smirked referring to working with Billy.

"I can imagine..." I muttered as I stared down at Jack's cup of coffee. "Where is he right now?" I asked dully.

"Billy? He's probably at the office making sure no one fucks up tonight. Bones has been on his case lately, apparently." Jack replied as he held the cup up to his mouth and took a swig of coffee.

"You met Bones?" Christy asked, suddenly standing next to Jack.

Jack set his coffee back down on the bar and shook his head, "Nah. Don't think I really want to, either. I'm just going off of what Bodie and Joe have told me."

"Shouldn't you be 'working'?" Christy asked making quotations with her fingers.

Jack rolled his eyes at me, making me smirk before he turned his head to look at Christy, "Shouldn't you?" He retaliated with the same question, a smug smile on his face as he fiddled with a lighter in his hands.

Christy glared at him, "Shut up."

"I'm done for tonight." Jack finally answered. "I'm just killing time until Megan gets off work."

"Well... I made a goulash at home that you two can reheat if you're hungry." Christy stated proudly.

Both Jack's and my own face dropped as we could only imagine how that tasted, "Oh God." We both said at the same time in disgust.

Christy scoffed, "What?!"

Jack snorted in laughter and I pursed my lips, shrugging, "Nothing..."

"No... seriously. What the fuck is so funny?" Christy asked becoming defensive.

Jack smirked as he placed a twenty dollar bill down on the bar and shoved it in my direction, "Here Amb. Use this to get yourself some McDonalds or something instead." Jack winked as he stood up and wrapped his arm around Christy's shoulders, "Don't worry, cooking ain't for everybody." He teased.

Christy's jaw dropped and she shoved Jack away from her who was laughing hysterically at her reaction, "I'll kill you. Seriously. Get! Go!"

"You won't have to try if I keep eating your cooking." Jack chuckled and walked backwards so that he was staring at the both of us, "You guys gonna be okay getting back to Christy's tonight?"

On nights like this when Billy can't pick me up from work, I either take a cab back to Billy's and sit there alone and bored watching TV and smoking cigarettes or I go back to Christy's and hang out with Megan since Jack's usually busy "working" with Billy or his boys.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get out of my sight!" Christy giggled as she waved her hand in Jack's direction.

I shook my head, smiling as I watched Jack leave the bar. I went back to doodling on a napkin, watching as Christy would stop sweeping the bar floors every few minutes to stop and text.

"Joe?" I asked as she looked up and made eye contact with me.

Christy pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek, "No... he's busy with Jamie and Baggy."

"Then who are you texting?" I asked suspiciously.

Christy smirked, "No one that you know."

"Fair enough." I shrugged. "But... is he cute?"

Christy scoffed, "Are you accusing me of texting another guy while I'm dating Joe?"

"Are you?" I asked coolly.

Christy smirked, "Yes... but it's not what you think."

"Jesus... Christy..." I groaned.

Christy held a finger up at me, motioning me to be quiet so that she could speak, "Billy fucking cut Joe and I off... we're not allowed anything. None of the guys will sell to us, not even secretly. That's how serious Billy is about this. The guy I'm texting is named Zack. I met him at a club not too long ago... he sells blow."

"Joe hasn't texted me back though... kind of strange. But I guess he is busy." Christy sighed.

"Oh lovely." I mumbled, rolling my eyes at her comment about this Zack guy selling blow.

"Whatever, I'm allowed to have fun." Christy retorted before going back to sweeping.

Work seemed to drag on and on tonight... Maybe it was because there was hardly any customers through out my shift and Sammy wasn't in tonight to constantly keep me busy by freaking out on Christy and I, to pass time. Christy didn't seem to want to talk much either and it wasn't because of earlier as she was a lot more talkative before we got to work. Every chance Christy got, she would pull her cellphone out of her pocket to check and see if Joe had texted her back yet.

The last hour of work seemed like the longest with Ramona being too busy with trying to get the bar ready for closing time, by herself as Sammy wasn't in tonight and then with Christy not saying a word to anyone as she just continued to check her phone every few minutes. Since it was Monday, the bar closed at 11 instead of 2 am like any other night. I smiled widely as I stared up at the clock on the wall that read 11:00 pm. I glanced over at Christy who's eyes were glued to her cellphone screen.

"It's 11, ladies. You're free!" Ramona cheered excitedly at us.

I sighed in relief as I glanced back up at the clock on the wall before back at Christy. I didn't bother to say anything to her, instead I just walked out from behind the bar and over to the back room where I grabbed my black hoodie off of the coat rack and pulled it on over my head.

"Looks like we're gonna have to call a cab tonight, Amb." Christy announced as she entered the backroom. "Joe and I are-" Was all Christy could say before I cut her off.

"Alright." I said shortly with a shrug, not wanting to hear what her and Joe were going to do considering what I heard him say to his brother over the phone earlier today.

"You're not mad?" She asked staring at me suspiciously.

"No."

"Well.. since you cut me off. Joe and I are fighting... he's mad that I'm getting powder and won't tell him who from." Christy explained. She huffed as she zipped up her hoodie and led me out the back door of the bar and around to the front parking lot.

"We walking?" I asked as I shivered from the wind as I lit a cigarette.

Christy nodded, not looking up at me as her eyes were glued to her phone screen again, "Yeah... we're gonna meet Zack a few blocks away. We can get a ride from him after I buy my blow."

"Fuck no... I'll wait here for a taxi." I replied a I gave Christy a quick laugh in disbelief that she'd think that would even be an option.

"Ugh, can you not be a pain in my ass tonight? Please?!" Christy begged as she started to walk off, with me following like an idiot that I am. "We'll be fine... he's cool."

"I'm sure he is." I grumbled as I continued to follow Christy.

Christy didn't say anything else as she led me a few blocks away into some dark, empty parking lot to a rough looking grocery store that was obviously at this time of night. I winced as a black SUV pulled up, the headlights so bright that they nearly blinded me. Christy straightened out her back and we watched as two heavily tattooed men walked out from the SUV and over to us. The one with spiky black hair smirked at me as he stood in front of me. The other one handed Christy a small bag of cocaine and shoved the cash she had just handed him inside his back pocket.

"Thanks, Zack." Christy said flatly as she tucked the baggy of cocaine into her bra.

Zack nodded at her in acknowledgement, an emotionless facial expression as he grabbed Christy by the upper arm and yanked her towards him. The spiky haired one reached out to grab me, but I pulled my arm back before he could. He gritted his teeth and leaped forward, grabbing me before I could turn around and run off for help.

"What the FUCK is this?!" Christy shouted as we were pushed against the SUV where the two men started to pat us up and down, making sure we had no weapons on us. They both grabbed our cellphones and shoved them into their own pockets.

"Nothin' personal, baby. Just work stuff." Zack replied as he ripped open the SUV door and shoved Christy inside of the backseat roughly.

"Where are you taking us?!" I demanded to know as the other man opened the other door and nodded his head at the backseat, motioning me to get in.

"Just going for a little drive." They both replied as they jumped into the front of the SUV.


	20. Chapter 19

"Yo Billy, got a minute?" Heco called out at Billy who was just coming back from his second trip from selling under the bridge with Tommy.

Billy exhaled a tired, agitated sigh as he set down the empty green back pack on a metal table where Baggy was bagging up cocaine on, "What?" Billy asked flatly as he watched Bodie stare at Heco and scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. "What?" He repeated.

"Spink ran into one of those pricks from B-street" Heco started to explain.

"They jump you?" Billy asked, looking over at Spink who was loading up drugs to go sell in an alley way.

"Nah..." Spink replied dully, wincing slightly. "But he said he sold to Joe and Christy, Billy."

Billy became tense and stood tall, scanning the room looking for Joe, "Where the fuck is Joe?"

"He's at home..." Baggy replied reluctantly since the others weren't going to.

"He's suppose to be working." Billy stated flatly, his anger starting to rise.

"Yeah..." Bodie started, glancing over at Heco who held out an $100 bill at Billy.

"This is all Joe made before he dropped the rest of the coke off... he light bagged us." Heco cut straight to the point.

Billy's jaw tightened and his nostrils flared as his blood boiled, "How much."

"About $250 worth..." Bodie replied quietly.

Billy knew better than to show up back at Bone's shop tomorrow $250.00 shorter than he was suppose to be. Billy had cut Joe and Christy right off - no one was to sell to them and Joe definitely was to stay sober and not snort any of the cocaine that he was meant to be selling. Billy had been played for a fool by his own brother who know's damn well what their father is capable of and what he will do if his own sons rip him off. Now Joe and his bitch are buying from B-street? and still stealing from Billy?

"Fucking little snake thinks he's gonna steal from me?" Billy seethed as he ripped out his wallet and threw down $300 on the table to make up for what Joe had stolen.

"Jamie's out running Joe's spot. Tommy's under the bridge. Jack's at home - and says Joe ain't there. Dog's out running his spot. Spink is heading back to sell where he was earlier. Where do you want us?" Baggy asked Billy, in hopes of changing the subject.

"We're gonna go see Joe." Billy replied coolly as he turned and stormed off.

Heco, Baggy and Bodie all winced as they stared at each other before shrugging and following behind Billy.

\-------------------

The music was loud and the large bar we were now being pushed through was crowded. I could scream for help but people would either ignore me and assume I'm just drunk and obnoxious or they wouldn't hear me, that's how loud the music was in here. At first I thought I was being kidnapped but neither of these two men gave off that kidnapping vibe and if they were kidnapping us, why the hell would they bring us to a bar/club?

Christy had tapped a small bump of cocaine out of her baggy that she got from Zack onto the back of her hand and snorted it while we were driving here. She literally had no shame to her game. She didn't even really seem fazed by any of this! Sure, at first she was swearing and wondering why they were forcing us into the back of their SUV but she soon got over that. I'm still slightly scared, who know's what they're going to do? Well... then again, I could kick this guy in the nuts and disappear into this huge crowd of people. But noooo... I have to be the mature one here and babysit Christy - again. She better not get me killed for her God damn cocaine habit.

The guy who had a firm grip on my upper arm - who I learned that his name was 'Syn' was tense and quiet as he led me behind Zack and Christy through the crowd. Christy and Zack were clearly too wired on cocaine to show any type of emotion. I gritted my teeth and tried to yank my arm out of Syn's grasp but all he did was stare at me with a blank expression and tighten his grip around my upper arm and lead me up the stairs to the second floor/balcony of the bar/club. I'm actually going to stop calling this place a 'bar', it's a God damn palace compared to any of the 'bar's' I've ever been to. It's clearly a club, by the music and the huge dance floor with a shit ton of people on it.

We were led to a large corner table where four other men were sitting, a few random drunk girls sitting next to the men, drinking and snorting cocaine off of a mirror with rolled $100 bills. Ahh... fancy coke heads, nice.

Christy sat down next to Zack across the table from me and like the idiot she was, started doing her cocaine. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How the hell is she not worried about what's going to happen?! Christy snorted two lines of her own cocaine off of the table before Zack handed her the mirror full of cocaine that everyone was passing around the table. My mouth fell agape before I gritted my teeth and kicked Christy as hard as I could in the shin underneath the table.

"Ow! What the fuck are you doing?!" Christy hissed at me.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked wide eyed.

"Like I said, I know these guys." Christy stated right in front of them. "Can we have our phones back? seriously what the hell?" Christy asked Zack.

Zack stared over at Syn who shook his head, "In a few minutes..."

Syn rested his arm on the back of my chair and sighed loudly as he drummed his thumb against the table in boredom. Christy snorted some more lines and then proceeded to watch as Zack snorted lines. They then started to engage in conversation with everyone else. My eyes scanned around the table noticing that much like Billy's gang - all of these men had similar tattoos. They all had a skull with wings somewhere on their bodies that were visible. This told me that these guys were a gang, most definitely a gang.

Now, I really was fucking nervous.

Are these guys 'B-street'...?

I bit my bottom lip nervously as I watched as a man with a black band shirt with the sleeves cut off - revealing both of his arms completely covered in tattoos. He had a black bandana wrapped around what I'm assuming his shaved head - hard to tell - and a black hat backwards over top of the bandana. He was tall and muscular and attractive from what I could see given the fact that even though we were inside of a dark club, he wore aviator sunglasses.

Syn got tenser than he already was as he pulled the arm that was wrapped around the back of my chair away and stood up so that this man could sit down beside me. Syn nodded at the man and took a seat next to Zack and Christy, across from me. I gulped as I stared at the man who had plopped down beside me. He removed his sunglasses from his face and placed them on top of his hat before placing his elbows down on the table and turning his head to stare at me. I was right... he was attractive.

"You're Billy's girl?" He asked with wide eyes, almost like he couldn't believe it.

I swallowed a hard lump in my throat and nodded slightly, unable to form words to answer his question. He licked his lips and shook his head before chuckling and staring at all the other men at the table who too were laughing at whatever this guy was laughing at. Christy bit the inside of her cheek and stared at me with nervous eyes. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest, clicking my jaw to the side as I impatiently waited for him to get to the point.

"I'm Matt." He said, laughing faintly as he held out his hand.

"Amber." I replied, staring down at his hand.

Matt raised his eyebrows and smirked as he pulled back his hand, "Do you know who we are?"

Christy was watching me closely now.

"I take it that you're the leader of B-street gang, correct?" I asked coolly, trying to hide the fear that was clearly in my voice.

Matt nodded and stared at me with a dull expression on his face before wrapping his arm around the back of my chair and leaning his face near the side of mine, near my ear. His warm breathe against my skin sent shivers up my spine and made me extremely nervous.

"My boys brought you two here because I wanna know what happened to my little brother." Matt whispered making me gulp. "You see, his throat was slit during a robbery. Wouldn't know anything about that would you, Amber?"

Image

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Joe groaned as he opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. He had fallen asleep on his couch. He sighed loudly as the banging on his front door grew louder and louder.

"Open the fucking door!" He heard his brother bark from the apartment hallway.

"Hold on..." Joe called out. "Fuck sakes..." Joe growled under his breathe as he made his way over to the door.

Joe ran his fingers through his hair before unlocking the door and pulling it open. But before Joe could even so much as say even a word, Billy barged in, grabbing Joe by the throat and slamming him up against the nearest wall. There was a loud thud as Joe's back was slammed up against the wall.

"Billy... man... take it easy." Heco said as him and Bodie and Baggy made their way into Joe's apartment.

"What the fuck!" Joe gurgled out.

"You got something to fucking tell me, Joey?!" Billy roared.

A bead of sweat rolled down Joe's forehead as he continued to struggle to get out from his brother's grasp. Joe's face was turning red and he was gritting his teeth, staring at Bodie. "Billy! Billy come on man... come on let him go.." Bodie begged.

Joe grunted as he tried to push his brother back. Billy just tightened his grip around Joe's throat as he pulled Joe towards him just to slam him back up against the wall even harder than he had before. The rest of Billy's boys just stayed where they were sitting, smoking their cigarettes, watching in fear of Billy while he was in the rage that he was in.

"Come on Dawg... he fucked up, we all do." Bodie attempted to reason with Billy again.

Billy ignored Bodie and gritted his teeth, "You wanna fuckin' steal from me?! Huh?" Billy hissed. "Don't you ever fucking steal from again!" Billy shouted, punching the wall beside Joe's head making him shiver but yet Joe still tried to fight against his brother's grip.

"I'm..." Joe started, "I'm sorry" He managed to gurgle out.

"Billy?" Bodie asked as Billy continued to ignore him. Bodie placed his hand firmly on Billy's shoulder.

"What?!" Billy snapped at Bodie.

"Let...me...go..." Joe hissed between gritted teeth.

"What the FUCK are you doing buying from B-street?!" Billy screamed in Joe's face, spit flying from his mouth.

Billy's chest continued to heave in and out as his nostrils flared. Billy shoved Bodie out of the way as he pulled Joe away from the wall and slammed him up against the wall yet once again but this time, releasing his grip from around Joe's throat as Joe winced and held the back of his now sore and throbbing head.

"Fuck man... what's your fucking problem?" Joe winced as he slowly opened his eyes and stared up at his brother. "What?!" Joe asked appalled.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me, Joey! What the fuck are you doing buying from B-street?!" Billy hollered making the rest of his boys jump in their skin.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Joe yelled right back, massaging his own neck. "I didn't do shit! Why the fuck would I buy from B-street?! YOU MADE ME KILL ONE OF THEM!" Joe screamed.

Billy's anger eased up as he exhaled slowly and took a step back. He placed one hand on his hip and ran his free hand over his freshly shaved head and paced around, in deep thought. Billy know's that both Joe and Christy are addicted to cocaine to the point where it's become a problem. Joe stole $250 worth of cocaine without so much as even caring what Bones would do or say if he found out. Now apparently Joe and Christy are buying off of one of those B-street fucks, all because Billy cut Joe and Christy off in hopes of getting Joe to ease up on the cocaine.

"Crazy fuck..." Joe grumbled at Billy.

Billy's pacing came to a sudden halt as he had just put two and two together. If Joe isn't the one buying from B-street... Christy has to be the one who is considering she's cut off from Billy and his boys. Joe stole the blow so he'd have no reason to go against his own brother and buy from B-street. Billy pressed his tongue against his cheek as he slowly turned and stared at Joe from over his shoulder, "Where's Christy?"

"How should I fucking know?" Joe barked, unaware of the tone he was using with Billy. "...I stole the coke cause I'm stressed alright?! Christy and I aren't doing good... I'm sorry, Billy."

"You better fucking be." Billy threatened.

Joe sighed, "I am..."

"I called the bar... she ain't there, her and Amber got off of work about an hour ago." Joe added.

"Then fuckin' call her." Billy barked as he ripped out his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and grabbed one from the pack.

Joe shook his head angrily as he stormed past his brother and over to his couch where his cellphone had fell out of his pocket when he passed out for a short nap. Joe plopped down lazily, Billy's hand print visible on his throat, and began to dial Christy's number. Joe glanced over at Baggy who was now sitting at Joe's table with Heco, smoking what appeared to be a joint. Joe glared at them and pulled the phone away from his mouth.

"Can you guys fuck off? I just cleaned in here." Joe barked.

Bodie smirked as he plopped down beside Joe on the couch and placed his feet up on Joe's clean coffee table. Joe closed his eyes and sighed, "Seriously?!"

"Did she fucking answer or not?" Billy growled from where he was standing.

"No... she hasn't been answering me at all since she got off of work." Joe replied softly as he cocked and eyebrow up and began to text Christy. "Call Amber?" Joe suggested.

Billy sighed, "You call her."

"She's your gi-"

"Fucking call her." Billy interrupted, clearly becoming more aggravated than he already was. Billy finally lit the end of his cigarette between his lips and mumbled, "Now."

"Yeah, fuckin' call her, Joey." Heco joined in with a laugh.

Joe shot them all a glare before rolling his eyes and dialled my cell number. Billy began to pace around impatiently, scratching the stubble on the side of his jaw. A sick feeling washed over Joe as he pulled his cellphone away from his ear and slowly looked up at Billy with a pale, blank stare. Billy stopped pacing and glanced back at Joe, wide eyed as if Joe should know to be telling him what was going on.

"She... didn't answer. Her phone's off." Joe choked out, knowing that Billy was definitely about to freak out now.

"I'll call Jack." Bodie jumped up and pulled his phone out, quickly dialling Jack's number. "Yo, Jack. Is Amber and Christy there yet?" Bodie asked into the phone.

Bodie glanced over at Billy and mouthed 'fuck'. "Alright, thanks Jack. See your ass tomorrow." Bodie said before hanging up the phone and leaning his head back, wincing slightly, "Jack and his girl are home... Christy and Amber haven't showed up yet."

Billy exhaled smoke out of his nose slowly, freezing dead in his tracks. Bodie swallowed hard and stared at Heco and Baggy, wide eyed, motioning them to get up and get ready to follow behind Billy.

"Well, if Joey called the bar and they ain't there... and they ain't answering, where the fuck are they?" Heco laughed as he stared at everyone.

"...Man, shut the fuck up." Baggy said, shaking his head in disbelief.


	21. Chapter 20

I cleared my throat and stared at Christy for a brief moment before slowly turning my attention back over to Matt who was still beside me, "I'm sorry to hear that, Matt. But, excuse me if I seem rude... but how would I know anything about that?" I asked, trying to sound convincing all while trying to play dumb.

Matt pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and nodded slowly, "So you're telling me that Billy had no part of it?"

"In killing your brother?!" I exclaimed, pretending to be appalled.

"Billy and I go way back, Amber. Way fuckin' back." Matt started, running his hand up my back, making me cringe. "So I have reason to believe that he had something to do with it." Matt hissed, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling my face towards his.

Christy let out a gasp and I swallowed hard, staring into Matt's eyes. He wasn't buying it. I had to think of something and I had to think of something fast or else I'm not going to be walking out of here alive. Matt knows damn well that I know Billy and his boys were involved.

"Do you fucking think that if Billy had anything to do with killing someone, that I'd be with him?" I spat angrily.

Matt released his grip on my neck and smirked, nodding slowly, "You haven't been around for long, have you?"

"No, I haven't. Billy also knows I won't be around for long if he's doing anything that you're trying to accuse him of." I lied, poorly.

"You seem like a smart woman." Matt started, "Smart enough to know better than to lie to me. You think Billy's bad? I'll fucking cut his guts out and deliver them to you on your doorstep." Matt threatened.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not lying to you. Besides, why would I need to lie to you? You're obviously scared of Billy that you have to kidnap his girlfriend and his brothers girlfriend."

Matt smirked at me again before glancing up at Syn and Zack who were both laughing at what I had just said, "We didn't fuckin' kidnap you, Amber. Isn't that right, Christy?"

Christy gulped, "You set me up..."

"We didn't do shit. You came to us, like the junkie fucking bitch you are." Matt hissed at her. "Times must be tough for Billy and his boys if his own brother's woman is coming to us for blow."

"Look, you cocky fuck." I spat, pausing once I noticed Christy's jaw drop and eyes widen, "Neither of us have a fucking clue what you're talking about. From what I gather, you're not exactly well liked. You're gonna blame Billy and his boys for a robbery gone bad?! It could have been anyone."

"You got nerve. I like that in a woman." Matt said slyly. "You're right, it could have been anyone. But it just so happens to have happened at a gas station on Billy's side of town. Billy's turf. Ironically this gas station had no working video surveillance either. Given my past with Billy... I have every reason to believe he did it." Matt explained.

"And someone is going to fucking pay for my little brother's death." He added firmly.

"So how are you going to prove that Billy did it if there was no working video surveillance to back up your theory?" I asked firmly.

Matt sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Simple."

"Simple?" I asked coolly, crossing my arms over my chest again.

"Oh, it really is, Amber." Matt responded, nodding at Syn and Zack. "Guilt will come out. Especially if it's beaten out of someone."

"I can imagine." I grumbled. "So what happens when you 'beat' one of Billy's boys up and you find out that they really are innocent in all of this? Because they are."

Matt shrugged, "Well," He started slowly, rolling his wrists before folding his hands together. "If that's the case, it'll still send Billy a message not to ever fuck with B-street."

"And what better way to get him to confess-" Matt started again, pausing and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "-Or... if what you say is true and he really is innocent.... then what better way to send him a message by using his pretty little girlfriend as an example of what we're capable of."

"Killing me isn't going to get your answers." I choked out.

"I'm not going to kill you, Amber." Matt chuckled.

"We're gonna get you to talk though." Syn piped up.

"But we don't know anything! We fucking told you!" Christy yelled, starting to cry. Her yell was barely noticeable by how loud the music was in this club.

"You're definitely aware of more than what you're letting on." Zack said with a snarl.

"No we're not! You fucking piece of shit!" Christy screamed, trying to stand up - only to be shoved back down in her seat by Syn. "Fucking cowards!"

"Christy, shut up." I barked. "We have nothing to hide."

"Let's go for a little drive, ladies." Matt added firmly as he stood up.

Christy and I both stared at one another and winced as both Zack and Syn dragged us up to our feet and roughly dragged us back downstairs and through the crowd of people. Christy looked anxious and petrified. I've only done cocaine once but I can imagine how bad her heart must be pounding against her chest caused from the cocaine and the anxiety she must have right now. Christy kept glancing back at me from over her shoulder, tears escaping the corners of her eyes. Me on the other hand, I was too focused on how to get out of this situation alive. It wasn't just me that I had to worry about... It was Christy too. I could easily kick Syn in the back of the knee and run off through the crowd if I was alone... but I can't. Christy's too high and if I pull anything I'll end up getting her killed.

Think, Amber... Think...

"Where are you taking us?" I asked calmly as Syn dragged me across the parking lot over to the black SUV we were taken here in.

"Where does Billy think you are, right now?" Matt asked casually.

"At work." I lied. "He thinks I'm off work at 2." I lied again.

Matt pulled out his cellphone and stared at the time, "12:40..." He read out the time. "That gives us an hour and some before you have to be back to Billy's side of town."

Syn and Zack ripped open the doors to the backseat of the SUV and shoved us inside. Matt climbed into a fancy black car that was parked beside the SUV we were in. Syn and Zack were both still standing outside of the SUV, talking to Matt as he started his car. Christy had her elbows on her knees and her face buried in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Christy... listen to me." I started. "Whatever happens, don't say a fucking thing. Okay?"

"I...I.. I'm-" Christy sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry Amber...."

"Christy! Seriously. You have to promise me that you won't say anything about Joe doing it, okay?! We'll get out of this... I promise. You just can't admit to anything, alright?!" I explained frantically.

"I promise." She cried.

"Good..." I sighed loudly, shifting my eyes around nervously. "I'll do the talking, okay?... just stay quiet and remember what I said."

Christy sniffled, "Okay...."

I winced and held out my hand at Christy who instantly took my hand and we intertwined our fingers together and sat in silence, both trembling in fear. I had to be the strong one in this situation so I kept trying to keep myself calm while Christy rested her head on my shoulder and continued to sob, still holding my hand tightly.

My heart thumped against my chest and I bit my bottom lip nervously as Syn and Zack climbed into the front seat and Zack started the SUV. Syn glanced back at me and stared me up and down, slightly shaking his head at me. Zack stared at Christy and I in the rear view mirror and smirked, "Ready ladies?"

======================

Billy had rounded up all his boys - including Jack, regardless of what Megan had to say about it - and went to the first place he could think of. B-streets drug house where they cook their drugs. Luckily for Billy, his boys had made enough tonight to keep Bones off of his back. Bones wouldn't even notice that no one was working anymore tonight. Matt and the rest of B-street are unaware that Billy knows where their drug house is. The only 'gang' that knows where B-street cooks their supplies are the "Hall" biker gang.

Billy pulled up outside of the house first followed by Heco who parked his car behind Billy's as usual. Billy, Tommy, Joe, Jack and Bodie climbed out of Billy's car while Heco, Jamie, Spink, Baggy and Dog climbed out of Heco's car. Billy wasted no time and rushed over to the trunk of his car, popping it open with Jack and Joe standing on each side of him, staring down at the inside of Billy's trunk. Billy handed Joe and Jack a gas can each, making Jack and Joe both stare at each other and wince nervously. Billy slammed the trunk shut and spun around to face the rest of his boys.

"Let's go." Billy announced as he ripped the cigarette out from between his lips, throwing it down to the ground and followed behind Baggy and Jamie who carried a sawed off shot gun and a single barrel hunting rifle. Baggy cocked his shotgun and glanced at Billy who shook his head, "Don't draw attention." Billy stated as he stomped up the stairs and straightened out his back before kicking the door as hard as he could, sending it flying off of its hinges.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!" Bodie shouted as they all piled inside of the house. The two b-street members spun around and jumped in shock. "Get your fuckin' hands up!" Bodie barked again, making the men do exactly what they were told.

"Heco, Baggy, Jamie, Dog! Get the fuck downstairs and clear the place out!" Billy ordered as he reached around behind him and pulled out his gun as he stormed over to one of the two b-street members.

"Where the fuck are the girls?!" Joe shouted, surprising himself.

Billy glanced back at Joe before turning his attention back to one of the men and placing his gun against the man's temple.

"The fuck are you talking about?!" The man asked nervously.

"You know who the fuck we're talking about." Billy growled, cocking the pistol.

A bead of sweat rolled down the man's forehead, "Matt's got them!"

"What the fuck are you doing?!" The other B-street member scolded.

"Where the FUCK did he take them?!" Billy shouted.

"We ain't tellin' you shit!" They both shouted back at Billy.

Billy's chest heaved in and out and his jaw muscles tightened as he pulled the pistol away from the one man's temple and aimed it at the other man, pulling the trigger and shooting him in the knee cap. The man screamed out in agony and fell to the floor, howling like a dog. Both Jack and Joe jumped in their skin while the rest of Billy's boys who were gathered around behind Billy, smirked in satisfaction at what their leader had just done.

Billy raised his eyebrows for a split second, "Next one is between the eyes." He warned.

"They're at a club!" The unwounded man shouted in defeat. "C-c-called 'Sharks'."

"It's where Matt and the rest of us hang out."

"You're so fucking dead you fucking piece of shi-" The man Billy just shot in the kneecap tried to scream but was interrupted by Billy pulling the trigger yet once again, this time shooting him in the head.

Jack's eyes widened and mouth fell agape as he realized that this was the life he was actually involved in. Joe was the only other person in the room that seemed bothered by this. Billy and the others didn't even seem fazed. A pool a dark red blood began to surround the now dead B-street member, making Jack's stomach twist in knots almost like he was about to vomit.

"It's clear downstairs. They're cookin' their shit down there, nothing but supplies." Heco announced as him, Baggy, Jamie and Dog suddenly appeared in the room. They too didn't even seem fazed by the dead body on the floor.

"He's got them to send you a warning!" The man shouted in fear. "Just like you just fuckin' did by killing one of his boys..." The man added with a nervous chuckle.

"A warning?" Billy asked, fuming.

"Yeah...." The man replied awkwardly.

"Here's his fuckin' warning." Billy hissed between gritted teeth, shooting the man in the head as well. Billy stayed where he was standing, his nostrils flared, chest heaving in and out, breathing heavy. "Light it up." He instructed.

Jack and Joe both gulped as they stared at each other for a brief second before unscrewing the gas can lids and began pouring gas out. Jack quickly doused the upstairs with gas while Joe left a trail of gas from upstairs all the way down the stairs to the basement where B-streets equipment was.

Once Joe was back upstairs, both him and Jack ran outside of the house with the empty gas cans in their hands and put the empty cans in the trunk of Billy's car. Billy put his gun back in his belt loop and reached into his right pocket on his jeans, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and pulling out a cigarette from the pack. Billy stared down at the dead bodies emotionless as he placed a cigarette between his lips. The rest of Billy's boys made their way outside of the house as Billy flipped open his lighter and lit the end of his cigarette.

"Let's go." Billy said dully as he stood in the door way. Billy smirked as he tossed his zippo lighter down onto the couch that was doused in gasoline before casually walking away from the house and climbing back into his car.

Image

"STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, flailing around in Syn's arms as I watched Zack punched Christy in the face again for the third time.

Matt had just spent the last half hour trying to get us to "admit" to knowing more than what we had told them. Zack had hit Christy three times while Syn just restrained me, forcing me to watch my best friend, who's strung out on cocaine and unable to defend herself, get hit by a guy. Matt just casually leaned against his car hood and smoked a cigarette, watching with a smug look of satisfaction on his face.

The impact of Zack's fist slamming against Christy's jaw sent her spinning around and falling to the ground. Christy cried out in pain, grabbing a fistful of gravel and lamely throwing it the handful of rocks at Zack. Zack gritted his teeth and kicked Christy in the stomach.

"STOP! PLEASE!" I screamed again as Christy cried out in pain.

"Guess they really were telling the truth." Matt called out.

Syn smirked evilly and threw me down to my knees. Syn pulled his arm back and back handed me across the face, causing my face to fly to the side. I didn't even have the chance to cry out in pain or anything, Syn hit me again, this time with a close fist causing me to fall face first down in the dirt. He hunched over me, punching me in the ribs, giving me time to curl myself into a ball and cover my face. Both Syn and Zack hunched over Christy and I, punching us in the side of the head before jumping back up and kicking us in our stomachs and ribcages.

My vision blurred as I cried out in pain from what felt like one of my ribs cracking. I Soon regretted doing so because as I did so, I removed my arms from covering my face, giving Syn time to back hand me yet once again, sending my head flying to the side and blood splattering against the pavement. Thankfully he hadn't hit my nose hard enough to break it, but it was hard enough that copious amounts of blood poured out of my nose and he split my lip open so bad that blood was seeping out like I had took a pair of scissors to my bottom lip or something. Quickly, I covered my face again and prayed to God that I'd either black out soon or that they'd soon be done with beating on us. I could feel Syn continue to kick me in the stomach and punch me in the ribs as Matt's cellphone went off.

"Alright, Alright... stop for a second." Matt demanded as he pulled out his phone and answered it.

"What?" He asked into the phone. "WHAT?!" He shouted into the phone.

Syn pressed his foot against my chest, sending me flying back down onto the ground. Matt had ended the call and was cursing loudly.

"Those fuckers from the Hall fucking lit the house on fire!" Matt shouted angrily.

"You're fucking kidding?!" Syn shouted. "Those fucks already lit Zack's car on fire two weeks ago!"

"The cops are swarming the place. I gotta get the fuck out of the city until this shit dies down!" Matt exclaimed. "Give them their phones and get the fuck out of here. Stay low until you guys here from me." Matt instructed as he looked down at us.

Matt sighed loudly as he walked over to where Zack and Syn were standing, towering over Christy and I, "Tell Billy this is his warning to stay clear of B-street. No hard feelings, alright doll?" Matt said to me with a malicious smile spread across his face.

I coughed hard, slightly wheezing as I slowly rolled over and spat out blood, "You're... so...fucked..." I mumbled quietly as my vision continued to blur. I pushed myself up off of the ground and stood tall, blood oozing out of my nose and pouring out of my mouth like I was a vampire. "He's gonna fuckin' kill you."

"Shut the fuck up!" Zack demanded as his fist collided with the side of my face, knocking me back down, my blood splattering across the ground as I fell.

"He's a dead man walking." Matt stated bluntly as he made a disgusting noise before spitting on me. All of the 'men' laughed hysterically as Matt walked away over to his car where he proceeded to speed away leaving Christy and I here alone with Syn and Zack.

"Don't worry, she ain't dead." Zack said, nodding over at Christy who was sprawled out on the gravel, blood covering her nose and mouth area, eyes shut and bruised. "She's just knocked the fuck out." He added as he tossed mine and Christy's phones at me.

I winced as I caught the phones in my arms, coughing harder than last time, groaning as blood continued to pour down my face, making me look like I was a zombie. The two men climbed back in their car and sped off, spitting rocks and dirt at me as they did so. It took all of my strength and willpower to push myself up and go over to Christy. My eyes felt heavy and my side was unbearably sore - telling me that at least one of my ribs were broken.

"Christy!" I exclaimed in a panic, shaking her with one hand and dialling Billy's number on my phone with the other hand. "CHRISTY!" I roared.

Christy coughed, slowly opening her blinking her eyes open and reaching for my free hand, "Am..Amb.."

"Billy?!" I cried into the phone once he answered. Billy didn't even have a chance to speak, I began to bawl uncontrollably. "Billy! We're in an alley behind The Four Roses! Please! Please hurry!" I bawled into the phone as I held onto Christy who was struggling to stay concious.

What Syn had just done to me made any of the beatings Shane ever gave me look like harmless fun. I couldn't even be mad at Christy anymore... she was in rough shape and though this was pretty much her fault, she doesn't deserve what just happened to her. Now... I just have to worry about keeping her concious AND keep Billy from doing anything irrational... especially towards Christy.


	22. Chapter 21

It didn't take long for Billy and his boys to find where Christy and I were from the brief directions I had given Billy over the phone. I could hear the rumble of both Billy and Heco's cars speeding towards us as I was still sitting on the cold, damp ground with Christy sitting beside me. I had finally got Christy to "stay concious" and sit up with me, smoking back on a cigarette. My face was sore but not swollen, thankfully. Christy on the other hand is barely recognizable... her face is puffy and swollen, bruised and bloody.

"Well... at least our noses and jaws aren't broken..." Christy finally spoke, flicking ash off of her cigarette and staring down at it before slowly bringing her shaking hand that was holding the cigarette up to her mouth and taking another drag. "How is it that you look perfectly fine except for the blood pouring out of your nose and mouth... yet I feel and probably look like I got kicked in the face by a horse?" Christy attempted to joke, blowing smoke out of her mouth as she spoke.

I was taken back slightly, resting my elbows on my knees, I turned and looked at her, "That's because I mostly just got kicked in the ribs and punched in the side of the head, but you know... let's make this a competition."

"I'm so sorry, Amber...." Christy whispered in shame.

"I'm not mad at you." I paused, sighing loudly, "....Surprisingly."

"I don't know what I was thinking..." Christy whispered.

"That's because you weren't." I snapped. Christy's eyelashes blinked back tears and I instantly felt like a huge asshole. "Christy...."

"No, you're right." She agreed, "All this for cocaine...."

"It needs to stop." I scolded.

Christy pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms and started to cry, "I can't!"

I rolled my eyes, "Are you kidding me right now?! CHRISTY!" I screamed, jumping up to my feet, not realizing what I was doing. "We JUST almost fucking died because of this!" I shouted, wincing as a sharp pain shot in my side.

"You're gonna fucking blame me but not THEM?!" Christy screamed, staring up at me and pointing at Billy and Heco's cars that were speeding towards us. "They're the ones to blame!"

"Take responsibility for once in your god damn life!" I shouted back at her. "Quit snorting shit up your fucking nose and take the advice you fucking gave me. You knew what they were like, right?" I hissed as Billy and his boys piled out between the two cars.

"Holy fuck!" Joe exclaimed as he ran over to Christy, kneeling down and pulling her into a huge hug. "What the fuck happened?!"

I squinted my eyes as I glanced over at Billy's car, the headlights nearly blinding me as Billy shoved through his boys and hurried over to me. I groaned and tried to turn away from Billy so that I coud try and attempt to wipe this blood off of my face so that he wouldn't flip out and assume the worst. Billy's face was full of shock with a touch of worry as he grabbed my wrists and forced me to stop struggling against him and look up at him.

"Billy, I'm fine-" I started, staring up into Billy's eyes that were scanning my face.

His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared as he continued to stare at the blood all over my nose and mouth/chin. He went from worried to enraged in a matter of seconds. I could tell that his blood was boiling just by how his breathing pattern was, chest heaving in and out as his eyes went from me over to where Joe and Christy were sitting, landing on Christy.

"They did this to you?!" He growled in a low but dangerous tone.

"Billy... Don't-" I tried to plead with him but all he did was drop my wrists and moved past me, stomping over towards Joe and Christy. "Billy! Don't it's not her fault!" I shouted.

"What the fuck do you mean it's not her fucking fault?!" Billy hollered, spinning around and facing me, making everyone jump slightly.

"Billy, please.... look at her! She doesn't need to hear this right now." I exclaimed, nodding over at Christy.

"I don't give a fuck!" Billy shouted at me. "Fucking little coke whore!" He growled at Christy as Joe pulled Christy up to her feet and stood in front her as they both backed away from Billy. "This is YOUR fucking fault!"

Christy whimpered and held her arms up in front of her face, cowering. Joe's eyes widened as Billy charged at them, "Billy what the fuck?! STOP!" Joe shouted.

"Get the fuck out of my way, Joey!" Billy demanded, grabbing Joe by his jacket and shoving him out of the way. Billy grabbed Christy by her upper arm, digging his fingers into her skin, forcing her to stare up at him. "You ever pull that shit again and I'll fucking kill you, myself." He threatened, making my jaw drop.

Both Joe and I ran over to Christy and Billy. I groaned in agony as I did so. Joe ran up beside Christy, trying to shove his body in between Christy and Billy in hopes of getting Billy to let her go. Christy was now hysterically bawling. Regardless of how much pain I was in, I placed one hand on Billy's shoulder as I pushed myself in between him and Joe, using my free hand to shove him as hard as I could in the chest.

"Billy! STOP!" I screamed. "Please!" I begged, staring up at him in horror, I haven't seen him this mad since he pulled the gun on Shane that night he saved my life. "PLEASE!"

Billy clenched his jaw and glared at both Joe and I before letting go of Christy's arm roughly, nearly knocking her over as he did so but luckily for her, Joe caught her. Christy threw her arms around Joe's neck and bawled into his chest. Joe gritted his teeth and glared at Billy, slightly shaking his head.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Joe growled.

Billy gritted his teeth and tried to lunge at Joe but Baggy and Heco jumped to help, pulling Billy back. Billy was fuming to say the least and the fact this his own brother was taking Christy's side probably wasn't helping the matter. Jack gulped as him and I made eye contact and I winced at him. Jack mouthed 'are you okay?' and I nodded slowly making Jack sigh in relief, running his hand through his hair as he slowly made his way over to Joe and Christy.

"That fucking cunt is the reason you're stealing from me and then she fucking causes THIS?!" Billy roared at Joe, pointing a finger at me.

"Billy, stop..." I begged, standing in front of him trying to keep him from charging at Joe.

"Hey fuck you, Billy! This isn't her fault! It's those fucks from B-street that caused this!" Joe shouted, gaining a random boost of confidence as he let go of Christy and stormed over towards us. "Don't fucking yell at her anymore!" Joe shouted again roughly shoving me out of the way and pulling his arm back, ready to swing at Billy.

"HEY!" Jamie shouted at Joe.

Before Joe could swing at Billy, Billy pulled his arm back and punched Joe right in the jaw, sending him spinning around and falling roughly on the pavement. Jamie, Dog, Heco ran in front of Joe while Bodie, Baggy and Tommy fought to pull Billy back. Spink was standing in between everyone with his hands up, trying to calm both Billy and Joe down.

"MOVE!" Billy barked, ripping free from the three who were holding him back and lunging at Joe who was scrambling to get up to his feet.

"STOP!" Both Christy and I screamed as Billy punched Joe again, knocking him back down.

"Billy! What the fuck?! Stop! That's your brother!" Bodie shouted as Billy continued to repeatedly punch Joe in the face.

Heco and Baggy shot me a look of disbelief, as if they were shocked that I wasn't doing anything more to stop the fight between Joe and Billy. I wouldn't even call that a fight since Joe was lucky to maybe have got one punch in. I gulped and ran up in front of Billy, practically throwing myself in front of him.

"BILLY!" I screamed.

"Amber, MOVE" Billy screamed at me.

"Billy, you're scaring me!" I shouted, tears escaping the corners of my eyes. "Please stop." I begged, sobbing uncontrollably.

Billy swallowed hard and lowered his fist and letting go of Joe. Billy exhaled a agitated sigh as he stepped back away from Joe, his eyes still on me. Billy's jaw was still clenched and his eyes were still wild with anger.

"You're fuckin' lucky." Billy hissed at Joe between gritted teeth.

I licked my lips, instantly regretting it as the iron taste of blood that I had just gotten rid of suddenly came back. Billy clicked his jaw to the side as he shook his head and angrily made his way back over to his car.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to Christy as I limped over to the passenger side door of Billy's car.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply as I opened the car door and climbed in. I winced as I sat down, the familiar sharp pain shooting up my side. Billy wiped his mouth off with his wrist before placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. I remained quiet as I carefully put my seatbelt on and watched as Billy put the car in drive and sped away. I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I turned my head and looked over at Billy who was staring straight ahead, focusing on the road.

Billy's grip around the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white as he took a long drag off of his cigarette and yanked it out from between his lips, flicking ash out his window. He sighed, exhaling smoke out of his nose as he did so.

"Billy..." I whispered nervously.

"I don't want you around that cunt anymore." Billy stated abruptly.

I was taken back, "She's my best friend."

Billy placed the cigarette back in between his lips, "I don't care." He responded in a muffled tone from the cigarette dangling in between his lips.

"You're overreacting." I mumbled under my breathe, shaking my head slightly.

"Look at you!" Billy screamed, not realizing that he was screaming at me. "You could have been fucking killed." He added, lowering his tone.

"It's not the first time I've been beat up by a guy." I grumbled causing Billy to shake his head in disbelief. "You don't have to be so overprotective of me. I can handle myself... I don't get why you always-"

"Because I love you, you stupid bitch." Billy growled, cutting me off. "And I told you... I protect what's mine."

I frowned before nodding my head slowly, understanding the reasoning behind Billy's actions tonight. Even though I don't agree with how Billy handled things tonight... I understand why he acted the way he did. Billy seeing my own blood splattered on my face sent him into an uncontrollable rage.

"I love you..." I whispered, caressing his cheek. "I'm fine... I really am."

Billy sighed as he pulled into our apartment building's parking lot and cut the engine. Billy blinked dully, in deep thought. Not even a word came out from his mouth as he climbed out of the car with me following behind him, quietly. Obviously still both angry and in deep thought, Billy stomped loudly up the apartment building stairs with me wincing, trying to keep up. When we reached our floor, Billy's stomping stopped and he casually made his way over to our apartment door. He gritted his teeth as he searched his pockets for the key to the apartment. Billy looked over at me, still gritting his teeth. He never said anything, I knew what he was looking at me for.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, "I don't have my key on me. If I did, I would have obviously handed it over to you by now. Why don't you keep your key on your car keys ring?"

Billy shook his head in disbelief while his left hand took hold of the doorknob, and his other hand was placed firmly on the door. Billy pushed himself into the door, sending the door flying open wide. I rolled my eyes as I realised the door would probably have to be repaired now. The landlord is probably too scared of Billy to care though.

I stormed past Billy into the apartment, heading straight for the bathroom where I stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring back at myself. I sighed as I began to dampen a face cloth and gently clean off my blood from under my nose and around my mouth/chain area. I sighed loudly as I rung the face cloth out, watching as the blood from the rag washed down the bathroom sink.

A pair of strong arms found their way around my waist from behind me causing me to shoot my head up to look in the mirror. I stared back at Billy who gently rested his chin on my shoulder. Frowning, I turned off the water taps and turned around to face Billy. I rested my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Billy rested his forehead against mine, not saying a word.

"Hi..." I whispered, laughing faintly, unsure of what I should say.

Billy smirked, "Hi."

"Still mad at me?" I asked, cracking a smile.

Billy sighed and pulled his head away from mine so that he could kiss my forehead, "Not at you."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Billy." I reassured him. "I'm just sore... and tired."

Billy nodded slightly, opening his mouth to say something when his cellphone started to ring. I frowned as Billy pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the screen to see that Bones was calling. Billy closed his eyes and exhaled a shaky, agitated sigh as he answered his fathers call and pulled away from me, leaving the bathroom all together.

"What?" I heard Billy say into the phone from where he was now sitting on the couch in the living room.

Tired and in copious amounts of discomfort, I made my way into the bedroom, groaning as I flicked on the light. My side of the bed had the blankets pulled back so that I could crawl in. On the night stand beside the bed was a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol 3's. I cracked a small smile at Billy's attempt at taking care of me.

My smile quickly left my face once I started to undress, feeling even more discomfort around my ribs as I pulled my shirt off over my head. I whimpered in agony as I tossed my shirt across the room carelessly and removed my jeans. I was in way too much pain to try and find something to sleep in so I just decided to wear my bra and boy shorts to bed.

"Codeine... thank God." I mumbled to myself as I sat up in bed and read the tylenol bottle. I shook out four pills into the palm of my hand and threw them into my mouth and swallowed, chasing the pills down my throat with the glass of water Billy had put out for me.

It wasn't even five minutes after taking the pills that I slowly started to drift off into a slumber. By the time Billy got off the phone with an extremely angry Bones, I was fast asleep. Billy stood beside the bed, staring down at me in deep thought. He ran his hand over his head, mad at himself for allowing this to happen to me. He should have known better, should have went with the gut feeling that he had gotten earlier, telling him that something was wrong.

"Billy?" I whispered in the dark as the movement from Billy climbing into bed beside me awoke me.

"Yeah?" He replied softly, carefully placing his arm around me.

"Thank you." I said, turning to face him.

"For what?" He asked.

I smirked, "For getting the bed ready and putting out the pills and water for me."

"That's my job." Billy replied dully.

"I love you... so much." I whispered as I snuggled up to him.

"I know." Billy replied, placing his hand on the side of my neck, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

"You know?" I scoffed.

"You know I love you." Billy replied sharply. I could almost hear the annoyance in his voice and could almost see him roll his eyes in the dark. "Did the pills help ya?"

"I can't feel anything anymore, so... yeah, yeah they did." I giggled.

"Good." He replied flatly.

A smirk crept across my face as I traced my fingertips along the tribal tattoos along his neck. Even though I've been through what felt like hell and back earlier tonight, I was content. Content because I'm exactly where I want to be, my safe place. Most people would bust out laughing if I told them that my "Safe place" is wherever I am when Billy's with me. I can't help it... I'm madly in fucking love with him.


	23. Chapter 22

A part of me was happy that summer was coming to an end now that it's near the end of August. Billy liked sleeping with the bedroom window open for some reason, allowing the cold night's wind to blow through and keep me wide awake when I desperately need sleep. It was pouring outside, little drops of rain making their way inside and hitting my half naked body.

Shivering, I rolled over to face Billy's side of the bed and stare at the alarm clock on the night stand beside him.

3:58 am 

Sighing, I laid back down and shivered as I pulled the blanket up higher on me and moved closer to Billy. Billy wrapped his arm around me, still "asleep" as I turned my back against his chest and placed my small hand over his large hand. I caressed the side of his hand with my thumb as I tried my hardest to fall back asleep which just wasn't happening. A sly smirk formed from the corners of my mouth as I slightly pressed myself as close as I could against Billy's chest. I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from giggling as I grinded the lower half of my body up against Billy's groin.

A small giggle escaped my lips as Billy's breathing pattern hardened for a moment. The arm that was wrapped around me was now pushing the blanket down off of my body. Goose bumps ran up and down my skin as I shivered from the cold wind blowing in the bedroom from the outside.

"Billy! It's cold!" I exclaimed as he ran his hand up my side.

Billy smirked, slightly sitting up to stare at me, "You started it."

His hand ran up my body up to my face where he cupped my face and crashed his lips over mine. I shut my eyes and kissed him back softly at first before I felt his tongue caress my bottom lip, immediately opening my mouth and deepening the kiss. My hands ran up his muscular arms as he moved his hand from the side of my face and down my chest and all the way along my stomach and down to the front of my boy shorts.

"Billy..." I breathed out as I broke the kiss and turned my head slightly.

Billy ignored me and just chuckled lightly against the skin on my neck before kissing and sucking at the skin slightly. I inhaled a whimper as Billy's hand crept under the front of my underwear. My breathing hardened as two of his fingers slipped inside of me. I arched my back slightly and dug my nails into his upper arms, biting my lower lip to keep myself from moaning. Billy smirked as he pulled his mouth away from my neck and stared down at me in satisfaction.

My knees were trembling and I was struggling to control my moaning as Billy's fingers moved inside of me. I couldn't help it, I stopped biting my bottom lip and whimpered out as Billy started to kiss down from my neck and around my chest area.

"How bad do you want me to fuck ya?" Billy asked in a rugged voice.

I cocked an eyebrow up at him and sneered slightly, "...That is seriously the most unromantic thing you possibly could have ever asked me."

Billy moved his face up closer to mine, staring into my eyes for a split second before brushing his lips against my ear. His warm breathe sent chills up my spine as he spoke, "Then goodnight."

"That's not fair." I whined. "Just fuck me."

"That's seriously the most unromantic thing you could say to me, Amber." Billy mocked me in a whiny voice.

"Billy..." I muttered, closing my eyes again and pulling his face towards mine, kissing him hungrily again.

I arched my back slightly higher, giving him room to unclasp my bra and pulled it down my arms. He kissed me harder as he tossed my bra somewhere across the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I nibbled on Billy's bottom lip while he removed his hand from me and used his hand to pull down my underwear.

Billy held himself up over me with one hand, showing me how strong he really was as he used his free hand to pull his own boxers down. I kissed him roughly, anxious for what was about to happen next. His hand ran up my leg all the way up to my thigh where he pushed my legs apart and entered me. I broke the kiss and gasped loudly. Billy stared down at me with a wild smirk across his face. His pace started slow and hard making me moan lots and dig into the top his shoulders. All that did though was cause him to pick up his pace, moving into me hard and fast.

My nails clawed into his skin all the way down his back, most definitely leaving marks. Billy grunted and held me closer, moving into me deeper and harder than he already was going. I continued to dig my nails into the skin on Billy's back while he kissed and sucked on my skin on my neck and chest area. His hand was squeezing my thigh as our hips rocked together. The headboard of the bed was slamming against the wall every time Billy moved into me roughly.

"Billy!" I cried out.

My body became tense and I knew that I was about to reach my limit. Billy crashed his lips over mine, faintly silencing my moans and whimpers. I gritted my teeth and dug my nails as deep as I could into his skin and clawed his from his shoulder blades down his back. My legs trembled under him and I pulled my face away from his, letting out the loudest moan/whimper I possibly could have as my orgasm hit me.

Billy grinned slyly in satisfaction as I leaned my head back against the pillow and tried to regain my normal breathing pattern. I was restless to say the least while he kept going. He grunted slightly and scrunched his brow, his fingers digging into my skin as his grip around my thigh tightened. There was something about the way he moved into me harder than he ever had that told me he hit his limit as well.

I exhaled a shaky breathe and Billy rested his forehead against mine, our bodies still pressed against each other's, slightly clammy from a thin layer of sweat. The cold air blowing in from the rain and wind that I was once complaining about earlier, was now relaxing and cooling our warm bodies off.

Billy kissed my forehead softly, "Still cold?"

"No, smart ass." I giggled, rolling my eyes.

Billy smirked at me as he climbed off of me and pulled his boxers back on. He raised his arms up and stretched before sitting back down on the edge of the bed and turning on the small lamp on the night stand. He squinted his eyes from the sudden light as he reached for his cigarettes and lighter. I just laid there in pure bliss for a moment and listened to the sound of the flame from Billy's lighter light the end of his cigarette and the sound of Billy exhaling smoke from his mouth.

I stared up at the ceiling and smiled warmly. For the first time, regardless of everything that's occurred since I moved here, I was genuinely happy. Most people would call me crazy for saying this, but I truly feel the safest when I'm in Billy's presence. I know who he is and what he is and yet I still don't care. I love him, truly and unconditionally. I've never been in love before... sure, I've had other boyfriends but I've never been "in love" until now. Maybe that's why I'm often questioning my sanity when it comes to the choices I make but regardless, I know what I want... and that's Billy.

"Did I do that?!" I asked, staring at Billy's clawed up back.

Billy stared back at me from over his shoulder, exhaling smoke through his nose, "Yeah. Ya did."

"I'm sorry..." I winced, sitting up. "Does it hurt?"

Billy let out a faint laugh and shook his head slightly, "No Amber."

"It looks like you got attacked by Freddy Krueger." I stated, carefully wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his shoulder.

I stared up at Billy who staring back at me, "I love ya." He said softly.

"I love you too, Billy." I whispered, butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

Billy looked away from me and stared down at floor, flicking ash off his cigarette into the ashtray on the night stand. I watched as he squinted his eyes and held the cigarette up to his lips again, his cheeks sucking in as he inhaled another long drag off of his smoke. He sighed, smoke slowly leaving his mouth as he did so. I could tell he was in deep thought about something and wasn't telling me what it was that was bothering him. It didn't take a genius to know that Billy's bothered about beating the shit out of his own baby brother tonight. I knew Billy wouldn't open up to me anyway so I didn't even bother trying to pry.

"Can you pass me those t3's please?" I asked softly.

Billy nodded slightly and frowned as he handed me the bottle of pain killers that I instantly threw two back in my mouth and reached over and grabbed the glass of water Billy had left out for me earlier, downing it and finishing it off.

"They're gonna fuckin' pay for that." Billy stated firmly, gently caressing jaw.

I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly, "No... they're not. I'd rather you just stay away from them."

Billy ripped his hand away from my face and his facial expression hardened, "You think I'm fuckin' scared of those fucks?"

"No..." I asked puzzled.

"They're dead if they cross onto my turf again." Billy said coldly.

I sighed, wanting to avoid an argument, "I know..."

"I just don't want this getting out of hand and you getting-" I started.

"Can't get out of hand when they're all six feet under." Billy cut me off.

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek and nodded slowly trying to comprehend how idiotic he can be sometimes. I just shook my head and climbed out of bed, grabbing my boy shorts and slipping them back on and grabbing the first shirt I could find, not caring if it was mine or Billy's. I walked over to the closet, opened the doors and knelt down, grabbing clean under garments and a baggy t-shirt to sleep in after I have a much needed shower.

"Showerin'?" Billy asked, finally speaking.

"Mhm." I mumbled, standing back up, clothes in my arm and walking over to the bedroom door.

"Amber..." Billy said, sighing loudly as I opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway.

"What?" I hissed, stopping in my tracks.

"I'm gonna finish this, whether you stand by me or not." He responded.

Warm tears swelled up in my eyes as I turned around, "You ever think about maybe leaving this life?!"

"This is my fuckin' life." Billy barked, walking over to me. "And you're in it."

"Yeah? and for how long? until you end up dead?" I pressed.


	24. Chapter 23

A couple of weeks had passed since the night Christy and I were beaten up by two members of Billy's nemesis gang; "B-Street". I was already pretty much healed minus the odd pain from my now sensitive ribs and going to work regardless of Billy insisting that I stay home until I'm fully healed. Christy has been coming to work too and surprisingly staying sober, no drugs or even a drop of booze. However, her face is still badly bruised but the swelling has gone down quite a bit. Christy being Christy though, just caked her face up with a pound of contoured make up and you can't even tell until you're up close to her.

Given how Billy reacted that night and how he treated both Christy and Joe... it goes without saying that I've been hanging out with Christy only at work. Billy and Joe have obviously made up, er, well... Joe forgave his brother and Billy doesn't seem fazed by anything. Billy really could care less, I guess. Joe and Jack have been selling together and Joe's still low key pissed off at Billy.

Christy confided in me earlier today and told me she's having a hard time detoxing and asked if I'd come over and hang out with her tonight to keep her from drinking or doing coke. Naturally since I want her to become sober, I agreed. Now I just have to tell Billy this.

"Well, that's great but you're my boyfriend not my father. So I'll be at Christy's if you need me." I said into the phone as Christy and I approached her apartment door that had just been finally fixed since the night Billy kicked it in.

"Amb-"

Click.

"Did you just hang up on him?" Christy asked wide eyed as she unlocked the door.

I shrugged and followed her inside of her apartment, "I don't care. If he wants to act like a controlling child then he can go do that on his own time."

"Brave girl." Christy murmured as we kicked our shoes off and walked over to the couch where Megan was laying.

"Hey." We all greeted each other at the same time.

"Where's Jack?" I asked dully as I sat down on the couch next to Megan.

"He's on his way here with Joe." Megan mumbled as she exhaled smoke slowly out of her mouth.

I hadn't ate yet at all today since Ramona had to leave work early from getting sick during her shift. She had come down with a really bad cold and flu so I was busy at the bar all day and had no time to even think about eating. Because of this, the inhaling the smell of smoke while having an empty stomach is enough to make me want to gag and I'm a smoker myself.

"How you holding up?" Megan asked me as she inhaled another drag.

I winced, "I'm alright... hungry, but alright."

"You and Billy fighting?" Megan asked.

"No... but we're gonna be, again." I sighed.

"He's still not wanting you around Christy, is he?" Megan asked.

"Of course not." Christy answered sitting down on the other couch and sipping back on a glass of juice. "But... whatever. He has to get over his fit sooner or later, after all I am your best friend and his brothers fucking girlfriend."

"I personally would have whooped your ass if I was Amber and you got me in that predicament. No wonder Billy's pissed off at you." Megan retorted, "But given how fucked up you looked when you came home that night, I probably wouldn't have." Megan added.

Christy rolled her eyes and I giggled slightly, ahhh Megan, how I love her so.

"You guys suck. I'm gonna make some dinner." Christy announced, getting up off the couch and heading for the kitchen.

"Oh God..." Megan and I both groaned.

"Shut up, skinny bitches. Or both of you can starve for all I care." Christy responded from the kitchen.

Megan and I both stared at each other and shrugged, "Fine...."

"Spaghetti sound good?" Christy asked, grabbing a pot from the cupboard.

"I'm so hungry I'll literally risk eating anything you cook." I called out.

"Don't fuck it up." Megan sang as she walked over to the bookshelf where all Christy's and her DVD's were. "Whatcha wanna watch, ladies?"

"Hmm..." I thought. "You pick."

Megan sighed, not knowing what to choose, "I dunno... comedy, horror or chick flick?"

"Not feeling a horror movie." Christy called out from the kitchen.

"Me neither... pick two movies and narrow it down that way." I suggested.

Megan shrugged, "Alright." She agreed and scanned the bookshelf, grabbing two DVD's before turning around and holding them up, "The Notebook or Superbad."

"Superbad." I responded immediately.

"No! The notebook!" Christy exclaimed. "Pleaaaaaase?!"

"I vote The Notebook, too. Sorry Amb, you're out numbered here." Megan chuckled.

I folded my arms across my chest and sighed. Yay... The fucking Notebook, sweet...

Before I could protest, the screen door of the balcony opened and in piled in Jack, Joe, Baggy and Heco. I knew I should have recognized the rumble of Heco's car outside. I sighed loudly and stared at Jack wide eyed.

"What?" Jack asked softly.

"Why are they here?" Christy and I both asked at the same time.

Heco plopped down on the couch beside Megan and I, "Why the hostility?"

"Uh because..." Christy started, suddenly coming into view. "You guys never come here."

"Did he make you two come with Jack and Joe here to keep an eye on me?" I asked firmly, glaring at Jack and Joe as I spoke.

Joe sighed loudly, "You know Billy."

"That fucking guy!" I exclaimed.

"Whatever, lets not let this ruin our night. Besides, I know a way to make them leave." Christy smirked.

"Your cooking?" Megan and Jack asked.

Christy rolled her eyes, "No, we're gonna watch The Notebook."

"What the fuck is that?" Baggy asked sitting down on the other couch and lighting a cigarette.

Megan smirked, stood up and took the DVD out of the case before tossing it onto Baggy's lap. Baggy rolled his eyes and placed his cigarette between his lips so that he could pick up the DVD case, flip it over and read what it's about. I felt extremely uncomfortable sitting next to Heco all alone. I know he knew better than to try anything or Billy would kill him, but given how he was before I was Billy's... he still creeps me out.

"Move." Megan said to Heco.

I could tell Megan sensed my how uncomfortable I was just by how she was looking at me. Jack must have also sensed it because he immediately stood up so that Heco could take his spot on the other couch. Heco rolled his eyes, got up and walked over to the other couch.

Megan placed the disc in the DVD player and started the movie. I sat back against the couch and sighed, watching as Megan sat down on Jack's lap and cuddled. I missed Billy. Was I becoming that type of girl? clingy? No, well, in a sense of that I'm constantly thinking about him, wondering if he's okay or worried about B-street trying to cause any more problems with him. I don't know, if that's clingy than I guess I've become clingy.

"Food's ready." Christy announced, walking into the living room with a bowl and handing it to me.

"Already?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow up.

"Yeah... I boiled the noodles, strained them... and put the can of spaghetti sauce in it." Christy explained.

"That's it...?" Megan asked slowly. "Did you at least heat the sauce?"

"Was I suppose to?" Christy asked seriously.

I giggled and shrugged, "It's fine. I'm starving. Thank you, Chris."

"You welcome. How you feeling?" She asked sitting down beside me as Joe, Jack, Megan, Baggy and Heco all piled into the kitchen grabbing bowls to dish up.

"I think I caught what Ramona has." I winced.

"You're sick?" Christy asked in a muffled tone from her mouth being stuffed with spaghetti.

I nodded, "I'm not like sick sick... I just have a headache and I feel really warm." I explained.

"It's probably because you haven't ate yet. Eat up, I made lots." Christy suggested with a smile.

Christy was right, almost instantly after a few forkful's of food, my headache started to go away. Once everyone had their food, well all gathered back in the living room to watch the movie. Me, Christy and Joe sat on one couch. Jack, Megan and Baggy on the other one while Heco sat on the floor, his back against the wall. He seemed to actually be really into the movie... which was weird but hey... it's a good movie after all. The only reason why I didn't want to watch it is because I get the feels every time I watch it and end up bawling my eyes out.

"Can I have some more?" I asked Christy in a hushed whisper.

Christy stared at me and cocked an eyebrow, "Obviously."

"...Can you get me another bowl?" I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes.

Christy rolled her eyes and took my now empty bowl, "Any other time you're complaining about my cooking and now you suddenly want more."

"It's good!" I exclaimed in defence.

Everyone except Christy stopped eating and looked away from the TV to stare at me strangely. I shrugged at them and Joe just shook his head at me, making me smirk. Christy came back into the room and handed me a bowl before she sat back down beside me. I thanked her and dug into the food. I got about two bites in when my stomach told me to stop. I winced and slowly sat up straight. Great... I'm gonna be sick, I definitely got what Ramona has.

It was coming, I had to get to the bathroom asap. I immediately sat the bowl down on the floor, jumped up off the couch and bolted for the bathroom. My body slammed up against the bathroom door, sending it flying wide open. Why the bathroom door was shut was beyond me. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and lifted up the seat, pulled back my hair in my hand and used the other hand to grip onto the toilet bowl while I puked violently.

Christy ran into the bathroom and hunched over me, pulling the strands of hair that were falling free from my hand out of the way, "Let it out, let it out."

Christy hasn't been this caring since before she moved to Boston, it was nice to see her slowly getting back to old self.

I gasped loudly as I flushed the toilet and Christy handed me a piece of toilet paper to wipe my mouth off. I sighed loudly, wiped my mouth and tossed the piece of toilet paper into the garbage can. Christy helped me back up to my feet and I wiped my now smudged mascara and eye liner off from under my eyes. Christy gave me a weak smile as she handed me a bottle of mint listerine mouthwash.

"Thanks." I grumbled as I twisted off the cap and poured some mouth wash in it.

"Don't mention it. Do you feel better at least?" She asked softly.

"Holy fuck, you sounded like the exorcist in there!" Baggy called out at me from the living room.

I gargled and spit the mouthwash in the sink.

"Shut up." I groaned.

"She's sick you asshole." Megan hissed.

"Or pregnant." Heco laughed hysterically elbowing Baggy in the arm who was laughing along with him.

Joe's eyes widened as he shot up off the couch and made his way to the bathroom where Christy and I were still. I was now sitting on the ledge of the bathtub while Christy was wiping off my makeup so that she could re do it. I glanced up at Joe who was staring at me wide eyed.

"What?" I hissed in annoyance.

"Well?" Joe asked, nodding at me slightly like I was stupid.

"Well what?!" I barked.

"Are you?" He asked slowly.

"Am I what?!" I growled.

"...Are you pregnant?" Joe asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "No Joe, Jesus Christ."

"This isn't funny, Amber. Are you sure?" Joe asked again.

Christy finished applying my eyeliner and stood up shaking her head and sighing in annoyance, "She's got the fucking flu, lay off. Alright?"

"How can you be so sure?" Joe pressed.

"Because!" Christy exclaimed as I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek. "Ramona is sick like this. She probably caught it from her."

"Oh so Amber ate the same thing Ramona ate earlier today at the bar?" Baggy asked from the living room.

"What?!" Both Christy and I asked.

"She ate bad chicken strips... hence why she's sick? Duh..." Baggy replied.

"She has a cold and a bad flu..." I trailed off.

"No... No she doesn't." Both Joe and Baggy replied.

"MEGAN!" Christy hollered, shoving Joe out of the bathroom.

"What?" Megan asked coming into the bathroom.

Christy stared at me before leaning in to whisper into Megan's ear. Megan nodded and hurried out of the bathroom. I heard her say something to Jack in a low tone before she grabbed her keys and they both left the apartment.

Christy turned on her heel and faced me, smiling at me widely. I could tell that she was tense and unsure about something. I frowned and stood up, walking over to the sink where I stared at myself in the mirror and applied some lipgloss. I stared back at Christy in the mirror and widened my eyes at her.

"What?"

"Nothing." She replied sweetly.

"Christy..." I started slowly. "What?!"

"When's the last time you had your period?" She asked straight to the point.

I sighed, "I had it..." I paused and thought. "I don't... I don't remember."

"That long ago?" Christy asked, "That long that you forgot?" She added.

"Christy, For the last fucking time. I'm NOT pregnant." I barked.

"Shh..." Christy hushed me, slamming the bathroom door. "I don't want those fucks to hear you."

Joe opened the bathroom door almost right after Christy had shut it, closing it behind him, "So did you take it?"

"Meg and Jack are gone to pick up the tests." Christy replied.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked, squinting my eyes into a glare at Christy and Joe.

Christy and Joe both shrugged, "Better safe than sorry."

I clicked my jaw to the side, "For the last fucking time... I. Am. Not. PREGNANT"

......

"A blue line will appear in the Control Window within 3 minutes to show that the test has worked. Read your result after 3 minutes." Christy read out the instructions on the pregnancy test box.

I finished peeing on the second stick and sat it down on the bathroom counter, "This is a waste of money and I'm not paying either of you back for this."

"They weren't that expensive, anyway." Megan replied with a sly smile.

"If there is a negative sign in the Result Window when the line in the Control Window appears, your result is ’Not Pregnant’." Christy continued to read out loud making me sigh and roll my eyes. "If there is a positive sign in the Result Window when the line in the Control Window appears, your result is ’Pregnant’." Christy finished reading.

"I started the timer on my phone exactly 33 seconds ago." Megan told Christy who nodded.

"Where did Baggy and Heco go?" Christy asked as she peered outside of the bathroom door.

"Billy needed them. I convinced Billy that Amber is fine..." Joe answered.

"And Jack?" Christy asked.

"He's in our room sleeping." Megan replied, still staring down at her phone. "2 minutes left." She announced.

"Well, I'm not sitting in this crowded bathroom. I'm thirsty... got any juice?" I asked Christy.

"Yeah, come on..." Christy replied leading Megan and I out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where she poured me a glass of orange juice.

I chugged back the glass of orange juice as fast as I could, carefully watching as Megan and Christy were distracted by something Megan was showing Christy on her phone. Knowing Megan it was probably some "funny" meme that she found on social media or something along those lines. I quickly placed the glass down on the counter and bolted it out of the kitchen, running past Joe and nearly knocking him over as I did so.

"HEY!" Both Megan and Christy shouted after me.

I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me and locked the doorknob, smirking as I heard them both run down the hallway after me, sounding like a herd of elephants. They both began to pound on the door, telling me to let them in or Joe yelling for me to tell him what the tests say.

"Amber! There's only 40 seconds left! Let us in!" Megan called out from outside the bathroom door.

I ignored her and paced around the bathroom for the next forty seconds.

"Get me a bobby pin or a toothpick! These old locks are easy to pop open." Christy demanded. "Amber, let us the fuck in!"

"No." I replied sharply. "You three idiots wouldn't listen to me. I told you guys I wasn't pregnant." I added as I picked up one of the tests, not looking at it as I unlocked the bathroom door, staring at them all with a frown.

"Well?!" They all exclaimed.

"I'm not pregnant." I replied firmly.

"Really...?" Megan asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

"They both say you're not pregnant?" Christy asked carefully.

I rolled my eyes and held up the test, "Yes, see right here it says I'm no-" I paused, finally reading the test.

My eyes widened and the test fell out of my hand down onto the floor where both Christy and Megan ducked down and one of them grabbed it. I swallowed a hard lump in my throat that had formed as I ran over to the sink and grabbed the other test seeing that it too read that I was pregnant. I scrunched my brows and panted as I grabbed the box and re-read the instructions.

"Amber, this says you're pregnant!" Joe exclaimed, grabbing the first pregnancy test out of Christy's hands.

I stood tall, the second pregnancy test still in my hands. My chest heaved in and out, my face fell and I slowly turned around and tossed Megan the second POSITIVE pregnancy test. The three of them looked down at the second test and then they all stared back up at me.

I gulped and ran my fingers through my hair, "....Fuck."


	25. Chapter 24

The apartment smelled like a mix of lemon Mr. Clean and Pinesol / homemade lasagna. My mind has been racing ever since I found out that I was pregnant. Two weeks have already gone by since I found out I was pregnant over at Christy's house. It was getting harder and harder to keep this from Billy, I even felt like he was starting to sense something was wrong. But luckily for me, Bones has been keeping Billy pretty busy so I didn't really get to spend too much time with Billy as I've pretty much been asleep whenever he's come home. Now, he's finally not "working" for Bones tonight so of course me being me, I'm nervous and trying to think of how to tell Billy or if I should even tell him in the first place. Whenever I get stressed out, I clean. Everything.

The curtains were wide open, allowing sunlight to shine through the freshly washed windows. My music was cranked, I was in a t-shirt of Billy's that I tied in the back and a pair of black short shorts, yellow cleaning gloves on and I was busy cleaning every surface I could find.

Of course I wanted to tell Billy, I mean... after all, this is his child too. But, given how he reacted the first time we ever had sex at his apartment when I brought up not being on the pill, I don't know if this is a good idea to tell him. He can't really tell me what to do anyway as I'm keeping the baby, obviously... but... what if he does? is he like that? surely he wouldn't tell me to do that... would he? Well... of course he would, it's Billy.

"Yo! Amber! You in here?" Joe called as he walked into the apartment and took his shoes off. "Holy shit, it smells... clean in here."

"I'm cleaning." I replied in a bland tone, walking by with a spray bottle of cleaner in my hand and a sponge in the other.

"I see that. What's that other smell?" Joe asked sniffing the air around him.

"I'm making dinner." I replied dully again with a shrug.

Joe nodded and casually walked over to the couch, "Where's my brother?" He asked, plopping down on the couch.

I shut the door behind Joe, annoyed that he hadn't done so, "I don't know. But he's suppose to be here soon."

Joe stood back up from the couch and squinted his eyes as he dug into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out his pack of cigarettes. I made my way over to the oven where I checked the lasagna while Joe placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, "You tell Billy yet?"

I scoffed before stomping over to Joe, "No I haven't and can you not smoke in here?! I just cleaned this whole fucking apartment. Go smoke on the balcony!" I scolded, shoving Joe roughly in the shoulder.

Joe smirked and blew smoke in my direction making me cough up a storm, "See! that's why you need to tell Billy, Miss. Amber." Joe lectured, pointing a finger at me.

"Just go smoke outside before I shove that down your throat!" I threatened, clicking my jaw to the side.

Joe smirked but did what I asked him to do. I bit the inside of my cheek absent-mindedly as I thought about what Joe had just said. I winced as I watched Joe smoke out on the balcony, zoned out and in a trance of my own. It's been weird how Joe seems to be the only one "excited" and "happy" for me out of everyone. Christy and Megan are obviously excited but Christy is a realist... she knows this isn't going to go good once I tell Billy. Then again, she could be wrong... maybe he wants kids? Ugh, I doubt it... I'm worrying myself sick over this.

I sighed loudly as the oven timer awoke me from my thoughts. I exhaled a shaky breath, running my fingers through my hair as I made my way back into the kitchen where I traded out my cleaning gloves for oven mitts. I shot my eyes over in the direction of the balcony where Joe was coming back inside from, while I opened the oven door halfway and reached in for the lasanga dish.

"FUCK!" I roared, dropping the lasanga plate down on top of the stove and ripping off the oven mitts, carelessly throwing them down on the counter.

Joe immediately ran over to where I was standing, "What happened, Amb?!"

"I burnt my fucking arm on the oven door." I responded through gritted teeth, nodding over at the oven.

"That's why you're suppose to open the door all the way..." Joe stated dully as he walked over to me casually, "Lemme see." He added, staring down at my arm.

"No! Joe! Don't touch it!" I exclaimed, yanking my arm away from his gaze.

Joe rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever. Deal with the pain, I'm gonna have some of this lasagna."

I rolled my eyes and left the kitchen, leaving Joe in there to dish himself out while I made my way to the bathroom to deal with this now throbbing burn mark on my inner forearm. I bit my bottom lip as I turned on the taps, using my free hand to open the bathroom mirror to find medical supplies while I held my burnt arm under the cool water. Wincing loudly, I picked up a thin cloth and some burn ointment and turned off the taps before heading back out into the living room.

"This is good." Joe mumbled, a mouth full of food.

"Thanks..." I mumbled under my breathe, more focused on the burn.

"You have to tell him soon, Amber. You know that right?" Joe said, swallowing his food and raising an eyebrow up at me.

"Thanks Captain Obvious." I grumbled.

"It's been how many weeks now? Have you even went to a Doctor yet? That's my niece or nephew in there, I'm just as worried about this as you are." Joe stated, shaking his head at me before taking another bite of food.

I sat up straight and sighed in annoyance, "If that's true then you will understand why I'm holding off on telling him."

"If you don't tell him, I will." Joe threatened.

Scoffing, I stared up at Joe wide eyed, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It's his kid too, that's not fair to hide it from him." Joe replied, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

"If you tell him and I will legitimately kill you." I tried to sound scary as I threatened him. Joe chuckled, swallowing the food in his mouth. I sighed, "Please Joe... I promise, I'll tell him soon... I just need time to take this in, myself."

Joe sighed, "Fine... I won't say anything."

"You promise?" I pressed.

Joe rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I fuckin' promise. But he's gonna freak when he finds out that everyone knew before he did."

"Joe..."

"Fine, fine. I promise, I won't tell Billy anything." Joe promised, sincerity all across his face as he spoke.

"Thank you. I'll tell Billy when I'm ready." I replied.

"By yourself?" Joe asked, taken back.

"Yes, Joe. All by myself." I replied.

"Really..."

I sighed, "Yes! I'll tell Billy."

"Tell Billy what?" Billy asked, coming inside of the apartment and interrupting Joe and I.

Joe glanced over at me and gulped, staring back down at his plate of food leaving me alone to think of a good lie. I bit the inside of my cheek nervously as Joe slowly chewed his food and stared at Billy awkwardly. Billy placed his car keys, cell phone and wallet down on the table and glanced over at Joe and I, waiting for one of us to answer his question.

"Oh..." Joe started in a muffled tone from the mouthful of food. He swallowed and glanced at me, seeing the worry in my facial expression, "Tell you that she accidentally broke a cup while she was cleaning...?" Joe winced.

I sighed in relief, "Yeah! Sorry... I just went on a cleaning spree... cup broke, shattered everywhere..."

Billy shrugged, clearly not giving a fuck about a cup. He made his way over to me, holding out one of his hands at me and nodding at the medical supplies. Joe mouthed 'Sorry' behind Billy, apologizing for his lame attempt at thinking of something to tell Billy on the spot. I glanced at Joe for a brief moment before staring up at Billy who was now standing in front of me and handed him the burn ointment and cloth/ some sort of medical bandage. Billy snorted as he sat down on the coffee table in front of me and took hold of my arm, gently.

"You've been busy." Billy stated as he started to apply ointment over the burn on my arm.

I winced as the throbbing pain worsened, "Yeah... had a lot on my mind so I took to cleaning."

Joe gave a faint laugh as he placed his fork in his now empty bowl and stared over at what Billy was doing to my arm, "Ha. That's a fucking understatement."

My head snapped over in Joe's direction, my eyes squinted into a glare burning right through Joe. Joe raised his eyebrows at me, staring at me like I was the one in the wrong. I continued to glare at Joe as he made his way back into the kitchen where he began to wash the bowl and fork he had just used.

"Did you find any photos of Billy with hair while you were cleaning?" Joe asked from the kitchen.

Billy's jaw tightened as he stared over at Joe, "What do ya want?"

Joe chuckled, "Awe come on Billy, don't change the subject. I know you must have a photo of you with hair laying around here somewhere."

"What the fuck do ya want?" Billy asked again, this time sounding annoyed.

Joe scoffed, "What do you mean 'what the fuck do ya want?'. It's September third... why do ya think I'm here?"

I groaned, dreading the fact that summer was now pretty much at an end and winter is just around the corner. I cocked an eyebrow up and stared at Billy, watching as his facial expression hardened, clearly in deep thought about Joe mentioning the date. Billy exhaled a heavy sigh as he began to wrap my the burn on my arm.

"So?" Billy asked, not looking away from what he was doing to my arm.

"So... happy birthday bro. Jesus, hostile much?" Joe chuckled, coming back into the living room.

I gasped, "It's your birthday?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Doesn't matter." Billy replied flatly.

"He's just mad he's old as fuck now." Joe chuckled from where he was now sitting.

"How old are you?" I asked softly, feeling awkward at the fact that I don't even know how old my own boyfriend really is.

"He's 40" Joe answered sarcastically.

"What the fuck did ya do?" Billy asked, tracing his fingers along my now bandaged burn while staring at me.

"Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya, Amber. He's 28 today." Joe added.

"I was getting lasagna out of the oven.. the door was half open so I burnt myself when I went to pull it out." I replied to Billy's question - ignoring Joe who was still laughing and talking amongst himself in the background.

"Pay attention next time." Billy said dully.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Just another day." Billy said lowly, standing back up and walking over to where he set his cigarettes down.

"Do you always have to be such a Debby Downer? It's your birthday! I could have made you a cake!" I exclaimed, jumping up and running over behind Billy. "Please! I wanna make you one." I pouted.

Billy sighed, clearly even more annoyed now, "I don't like cake."

"Bullshit. I'm making one." I stated firmly, folding my arms across my chest.

"Good, you guys can bring it to The Four Roses later. We're celebrating your birthday bro." Joe joined in. "Speaking of which... I should probably get going. I'll see you guys in a few hours, alright?" Joe added, heading over to the door but stopping before opening it, "Oh yeah, try and keep it PG alright?"

"Bye Joey." I chimed as Joe walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind him.

Billy lit a cigarette and inhaled a long drag off of his cigarette before staring over at me. He frowned as I folded my arms across my chest yet once again and shook my head slightly, "What?"

"I just cleaned in here." I stated, still shaking my head at him.

Billy didn't argue, instead he just made his way over to the balcony and stepping outside. I sighed loudly as I followed behind him, staring at him with a blank expression as he placed both hands on the railing of the balcony and stared off into space, his cigarette between his lips. I frowned again and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind, resting the side of my face on his back.

"You suck for not telling me earlier that it's your birthday." I grumbled.

Billy sighed and flicked his cigarette over the balcony before turning around and facing me. He kissed the top of my forehead and wrapped his arms around me.

"Missed ya." He said softly, changing the subject again.

"Yeah?" I asked seductively, pulling on his belt.

Billy smirked, glancing around before staring back down at me and shaking his head slightly, "Gonna give me my birthday present?"

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back a sly smile, "Well, since you never told me it was your birthday... I can't possibly think of something I could give you."

Billy pursed his lips, thoughtful for a moment, "I can think of something."

I giggled at the feeling of Billy's facial hair tickling my neck as he started to kiss my neck and lead me backwards into the apartment. The back of my legs hooked the couch and a small gasp escaped from between my lips as I landed on my back down on the couch. Billy hovered over me, still kissing and biting my neck. I stared down at my stomach, making sure that Billy didn't press his body down on me... just in case. Joe's right, I need to see a doctor soon before I start showing.

My eyes widened as Billy started to press against me. I winced, having to think fast, I pressed my hands against his shoulders and used all my strength to push him off me. He stared at me blankly for a split second before I sat up and pushed him down on his back, climbing on top of him. Our eyes locked together as I grinded myself against Billy, slowly pulling off his shirt that I was wearing. I leaned my head back and moaned slightly as Billy's hands ran up my sides and around to my back, unhooking my bra and letting it fall down my arms.

"Happy birthday mother fucker!" Heco shouted as the door suddenly flung open.

I gasped and practically fell off of Billy and down onto the floor where I lunged forward, grabbing the shirt that I had just pulled off of myself and quickly slipped it on.

"Oh shit, God damn son. Get some." Baggy laughed hysterically, nudging Heco in the arm with his elbow all while pointing at me.

"What the fuck do you want?" Billy asked between gritted teeth, standing up and walking over to them.

"Bones wants to see you, man." Bodie answered for Heco and Baggy as he too walked into the apartment. "Tried to call ya but no answer.... now we see why." Bodie stared at me and then watched as Billy walked over to the table, grabbing his cigarette pack and shaking out a smoke.

"Don'tcha know how to fuckin' knock?" Billy asked, glaring at them between squinted eyes as he lit his cigarette with one of the candles that were lit on the center of the table.

"Sorry..." They all said awkwardly.

"What's that fat fuck want?" Billy asked, staring at his phone screen.

"Dunno, just said he wants to see you... and soon." Baggy answered.

Heco stared at me, a smirk across his lips as he stared me up and down. He shot me a quick wink and I snarled at him in disgust before storming past the three of them and heading into the bedroom to get ready to go to the Four Roses. I sighed loudly as I stared at my clothes that were now hung neatly in the closet. I didn't know how tonight was going to go, considering I can't drink. I hated working at the Four Roses especially now that I'm pregnant, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol that lingers throughout that bar is enough to make me sick. I didn't even want to be there when I had to work, I definitely don't want to be there on days that I don't work, but it is Billy's birthday... it's the least I can do.

"Sorry about that." Billy said as he walked into the bedroom.

"It's okay..." I whispered softly, still searching through the closet for something to wear tonight. "At least they didn't see me topless."

Billy placed his half smoked cigarette down in the ashtray on the night stand and pulled his shirt off over his head so that he could put on a different one, "Ya mad?" He asked as he pulled the new black long sleeved shirt on over his head.

"At them? no. At you? Yes." I replied honestly, grabbing my black heels from the bed and tossing them on the bed.

"For?" Billy asked, placing the cigarette back between his lips.

"For not telling me its your birthday." I replied. "I would have never of known if it weren't for Joe saying something."

"Well, now ya do." Billy replied shortly.

"You're an ass..." I mumbled, folding my arms across my chest.

"So I've been told." He retorted making me roll my eyes.

"I got some shit to do. I'll see ya at the Four Roses." He told me, walking up to me and placing his hand on the back of my neck and planting a kiss on my mouth.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled, pulling away from him.

"Hey-" Billy started as he placed two fingers under my chin, lifting my head up to look at him. "I love you."

I smiled and sighed, "I love you too. Happy birthday, Billy."

....

"You haven't told him yet?!" Christy and Megan both exclaimed from my living room.

I sighed, curling the last strand of my hair, "No... But I will."

"Oh yeah, Happy birthday Billy! By the way, I'm pregnant. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Christy mocked me, shaking her head as she came into view.

"Thanks for the boost of confidence." I murmured as I applied my lipstick.

"You need to tell him and you need to see a fucking Doctor." Christy lectured me.

"Or at least see a doctor, Amber." Megan joined in, now standing next to Christy watching me get ready.

I sighed loudly, "Fine. I'll go tomorrow morning, alright?"

"Oh, I know you will. Because I'm coming with you." Megan stated smugly.

"I'm coming too." Christy announced.

Both Megan and I stopped what we were doing and stared at Christy in amazement, "Really?"

"Yeah?" Christy asked, cocking an eyebrow up. "Is that so hard to believe or something? You're my best friend, I want to be there for you."

"You're going to be awake?" I asked, chuckling in disbelief.

"I'm not drinking tonight, so yeah I am." Christy replied proudly.

"I'll believe it when I see it." Megan mumbled under her breathe making Christy glare at her.

"Ugh, shut up. You guys ready to go yet?" Christy asked changing the subject.

"How do I look?" I asked with a nervous sigh.

"Hot." Megan and Christy replied instantly.

"You sure?" I asked, holding my stomach.

"Oh relax, you won't show for a long time. Now get those heels on and lets get this cake to the Four Roses." Megan reassured me.

"Thank you guys for buying a cake." I thanked them, slipping my feet into my black 6" heels.

"We even got 'Happy Birthday Billy' put on the cake." Megan exclaimed excitedly as we all piled into the kitchen where the cake was sitting on the counter. "And candles. But there was only 12 in a pack. So... I guess he's twelve according to the cake."

"Did you know he was 27 when I started dating him?" I asked Christy.

Christy shrugged, "Yeah? So? What, did you expect him to be our age?"

I rolled my eyes, "No... I just never really asked him how old he was."

"That's... kind of weird, Amber." Christy said slowly, lifting her eyebrows and shaking her head.

I shrugged, staring at Megan and Christy. Christy was wearing a black short fitted dress, revealing all of her arm tattoos and her large back piece, her bangs were pulled back and in her infamous long mohawk/ shaved sides, and wearing black 6" heels with spikes on the back. Megan on the other hand was wearing a black baby doll shirt, black ripped up skinny jeans, hair straightened, black leather jacket and of course, six inch black heels like Christy and I. Me, well, since I'm pregnant and prone to throwing up at random smells, I wanted to just wearing shorts and a shirt, but oh no... that wasn't good enough for Christy. She has me wearing black skinny jeans, black 6 inch heels - obviously, and a black tank top. Apparently it's normal for all of us to dress like Johnny Cash.

"How nervous are you to tell Billy?" Megan asked as she carefully picked up the cake off of the counter.

"Nervous." I replied honestly.

"I honestly think you're overthinking this, Amber. Billy loves you too fucking much to just be like, 'bitch get an abortion or get the fuck out of my life'." Christy piped in.

"How can you be so sure...?" I asked slowly.

Christy scoffed, "Billy has NEVER treated a girl like he treats you. He's never had a girlfriend, like we've all said before... he usually just fucks random girls and that's it. But then you come along and all of a sudden you're his girlfriend and living with him? Yet you think he's just going to up and make you get an abortion or move out." Christy explained as I locked the apartment door once we were all out in the hallway.

"No kidding." Megan murmured, carefully making her way down the stairs, the cake still in her arms.

"I sure hope you're right..." I sighed, following behind them out into the parking lot where Jack was parked waiting for us.

"I didn't really take Billy to be the type to eat cake." Jack stated as the three of us girls climbed into his vehicle.

"Well, if he isn't... I'm sure everyone at the bar will be." I muttered, putting my seatbelt on.

"You feeling alright?" Jack asked, staring at me from the rear view mirror.

"I'm feeling good today." I replied with a weak smile.

Christy rolled down her window and lit a cigarette, "Mind if I smoke, Juno?"

"What I wouldn't give to have a drag..." I whined, turning my head and staring out the window.

"I'm sure you will survive." Megan chuckled from the front seat.

I smirked and kicked the back of her seat. As we drove to the Four Roses, I drifted off into my thoughts as I stared out the window watching all the other cars go by. Were people actually right about how I've softened Billy? Well, more like... Billy has a softer side only towards me. Everyone I've met here has either had an opinion or something to tell me about Billy. I know how he can be sometimes... but he's different when it's just him and I. Hopefully he's still the same way when he finds out that I'm pregnant.

First things first, I need to go see a doctor first thing in the morning. Then I have to go to the bank and set up a savings account, literally work my ass of at that shitty fucking bar and save all that I can. Then after that, I need to tell Billy. Hopefully he doesn't tell me to get an abortion... because if he does, I'm leaving and I guess living on Christy's couch most of my pregnancy until I save for an apartment of my own for my child and I. Ugh, even just thinking the worst makes me stressed. Maybe Christy's right, maybe I'm just overthinking this.

"Amber?" Christy asked, poking me in the shoulder and awakening me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"We're here... weirdo."

Here goes...


	26. Chapter 25

Nodding, I exhaled a shaky sigh as I climbed out of the backseat of Jack's car and followed behind the three of them. My eyes landed on Billy's and Heco's cars parked next to eachother in front of the bar. My eyebrows raised in suspicion as I noticed Tommy and Amanda making out off in the distance. I watched as they pulled apart and she giggled like a school girl before climbing into the taxi that had just pulled up to take her home. Clearly Baggy is okay with his friends banging his sister, apparently.

"Tommy? Yuck." Christy gagged as she caught what I was staring at. "Let's go in."

Smoke lingered around the inside of the bar as we walked in, making me want to gag. I couldn't tell if it was cigarette smoke or marijuana smoke, whatever it was though, made me want to throw up. Wincing, I mentally calmed my stomach down and forced myself to handle it. Megan carefully handed Christy the cake so that Christy could go behind the bar where Ramona and Sammy were to light the candles. Jack gave Megan a quick peck on the cheek before making his way over to the table Billy and his boys were sitting at.

I glanced over at the table, my eyes landing on Billy who was leaned back in his chair, holding a shot glass of whiskey up to his lips talking to Baggy before leaning his head back as he threw back the shot. He licked his lips and placed the now empty shot glass down on the table and sniffed as he reached for his pack of cigarettes. A small smile crept across my face as I watched Billy smile that crooked, sly smile he had as one of his boys cracked some sort of joke.

"Whatcha think Billy?" Spink asked, handing Billy a small glass mirror with a bump of cocaine in the center of it.

Billy took the mirror and stuck his finger in the cocaine and rubbed it along the inside of his mouth. Unimpressed, I clicked my jaw to the side and folded my arms across my chest as I watched Billy ponder his response before nodding and handing the mirror back.

"That's our shit?" Billy asked as he sniffed again, making me wondering if he had snorted a few lines before I arrived.

Better fucking not have...

"That's our shit." Spink confirmed.

"Best shit around, eh?" Heco laughed grabbing the mirror from Spink and cutting the bump of cocaine on the mirror into three thick 'Hollywood' lines.

Joe leaned back in his seat and smirked as he watched Heco snort the lines up his nose like he was some sort of vacuum or something. Heco tilted his head back and snorted hard again, making sure no cocaine fell from his nose. Heco laughed again as he tapped more cocaine out of a small baggy onto the mirror.

"Ya want a line, Joey?" Heco asked, not thinking straight.

"He's not having any." Billy said sternly.

Heco nodded slowly, handing the mirror over to 'Dog' who gladly took it from him and started snorting lines. Joe rolled his eyes and leaned even further back in his chair, turning his head and sighing. His eyes widened as he noticed me standing near the front of the bar, clearly unimpressed. Joe stood up and walked over to me.

"Amber... they're about to order a round of shots. You wanna go to the bathroom or something?" Joe suggested.

I scoffed, "No."

"But... they're gonna know something is up if you-"

"Joe... I'll just give you any shots that get poured for me." I cut him off.

Joe frowned, "Because that's not noticeable or anything."

"Got any better ideas, genius?" I retorted, pressing my tongue against the inside of my cheek.

"Oh! I do actually!" Joe exclaimed, pretending to be excited. "How about you just fucking tell him?! Or wait, maybe I will!" Joe added turning around.

I grabbed onto Joe and spun him around staring at him with pleading eyes, "Please, Joe... not tonight... it's his birthday. Please." I begged.

Joe sighed, "You're lucky I love you like a sister. But you better go to a doctor tomorrow. Promise?"

"I promise." I replied giving Joe a quick hug, "Thank you."

"Yeah... yeah." Joe grumbled as we pulled apart.

"Did I tell you that you're the greatest person ever?" I asked with a big grin.

"You damn rights I am." Joe replied with a smirk. "Come on, your prince awaits."

"Shut up." I giggled as Joe wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me over to the table Billy was sitting at.

Billy glanced up at me as Joe and I approached the table. Joe pulled out a chair for me and we both sat down next to eachother, Billy on my left side and Joe on my right. Billy threw back another shot of whiskey before staring at me.

"You made it." He stated dully.

"Clearly." I replied.

"The fuck is your problem?" He growled.

"Did you do cocaine?" I asked turning my head and glaring at him.

"Fuck off." He groaned, shaking his head and looking away from me.

"Excuse me? Fuck you." I growled, my mouth falling agape.

"He's just drunk... ignore him." Joe whispered.

Billy smirked at me and shoved a shot glass full of an amber coloured substance over to me. I stared down at the shot before staring back up at him, staring at him in disbelief. Did he really think I was going to drink with him now? Even If I could, I wouldn't. Fuck him. I don't care if it's his birthday, he doesn't have to be a dick.

Billy turned his attention away from me to talk to Bodie and Jamie, giving me enough time to slide Joe the shot Billy had just gave me. Joe quickly threw back the shot and gasped, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Thank you" I mouthed.

Joe nodded and scratched the back of his neck as Billy stared back at me, pursing his lips and nodding, surprised that "I" threw back that shot so fast. I tapped my nails against the table in boredom as I listened to Billy and his boys talk about shit I didn't really care about and watch as they all drank and smoked joints and cigarettes and snorted cocaine. Billy, Joe and Jack were the only ones who didn't snort any of the lines that were being passed around the table.

"Happy birthday to you!" Christy, Ramona and Megan sang as they slowly made their way over towards the table, the candles on the cake lit.

"I don't fuckin' want that." Billy let out a faint laugh, holding a shot up in front of his mouth. "I'm drinkin' not fuckin' eating cake." Billy said before closing his eyes and leaning his head back, letting the whiskey pour down his throat.

"Why are you such a fucking asshole?" I growled.

"Why are you such a cunt?" Billy mocked me, flashing a sadistic smile at me.

Christy and Ramona rolled their eyes and placed the cake down on the table. I could feel my blood start to boil the more I watched Billy drink. I bit my bottom lip and stared at the flame burning on one of the candles. Ramona placed a small plate in front of everyone at the table before standing tall and staring at Billy.

"Well birthday boy! Time to blow out your candles." She said cheerfully.

Billy smirked, "Get Amber to."

"Excuse me?" I asked even more annoyed than I already was.

"You're good a blowing things, aren't you baby?" Billy laughed causing everyone at the table to laugh except Jack of course.

My mouth fell agape and my face flushed every shade of red. I never have felt so humiliated than I did right now. My breathing was heavy from my chest heaving in and out. I clenched my jaw as I pressed my hands against the table and pushed my chair out, storming away from the table with warm tears fighting to escape the corners of my eyes.

"What's her fuckin' problem?" I heard Tommy ask as I stormed towards the bathroom.

"She's just bein' a bitch." Billy replied with a shrug.

My body was shaking from how angry I was as I shoved open the bathroom door and walked over to the sink where I let the tears pour out of my eyes. The bathroom door swung wide open and I expected it to be Christy or Megan running after me. I sighed and looked up at whoever it was that just walked in the bathroom.

"Get out!" I growled as Billy stomped up to me and grabbed me by my upper arm. "This is a girl's fucking bathroom, you psychopath!" I shouted in his face.

"What the fuck is your fucking problem?!" Billy barked, anger stricken across his face.

"You're my fucking problem!" I shouted back, ripping my arm out of his grasp.

Billy's jaw tightened and his chest heaved in and out, "Grow the fuck up."

"You come in here actin' like ya own the fuckin' place with your piss poor fuckin' attitude. If you think I'll put up with that, you're sadly fuckin' mistaken." He hissed.

"You're a fucking child." I retorted, shaking my head and storming past him, my shoulder colliding with his as I did so.

Billy followed me out of the bathroom and put a cigarette between his lips and lit the end of it, sucking bad hard, "No wonder ya ex slapped ya around."

I stopped dead in my tracks and tried to process what his ignorant drunk ass had just said. Christy's mouth dropped and everyone else went silent as they watched me slowly turn on my heel slowly and stare at Billy between squinted eyes. My anger shot through the roof, making me stomp up to Billy and pull my arm back and crash my hand across his face. Billy didn't even flinch, his eyes just widened with anger as he grabbed my wrist tightly and yanked my body against his.

"You ever fuckin' lay ya hands on me again and it'll be the last fuckin' thing ya do." He threatened, tightening his grip around my wrist making me whimper out in pain.

Joe flew up from his seat and ran over to us, "Billy!"

Billy snarled at me and roughly let go of my wrist causing me to stagger back a little. Joe gritted his teeth and shoved Billy back, trying to protect me and his niece or nephew inside of me. Bodie stood up and jogged over to Joe and Billy preventing a fight from happening. Billy grunted and shoved Bodie out of the way, stepping forward towards Joe.

"Joe!" I exclaimed.

"You're out of fucking line, Billy!" Joe shouted at his brother.

Billy opened his mouth to say something but paused when his eyes shot up over in the direction of the bar doors. Joe scrunched his brow, confused as we both followed Billy's gaze and watched as Bones waddled into the bar and over to the table, pushing Christy and Ramona out of his way. He stared down at the cake on the table in disgust before shaking his head.

"Fuckin' useless half-wits." He bellowed. "Look at you, fuckin' drunk and gonna beat on your little brother. What a fuckin man you are, huh?" Bones taunted Billy.

"What do you want?" Billy asked, straightening out his back and slowly calming down.

"Here to wish ya a happy birthday, ya ungrateful little bastard." Bones hissed. "Now what the fuck is goin' on?" Bones huffed, staring at Joe and Billy.

"Nothing." Joe mumbled.

"What?! I can't fuckin' hear ya." Bones spat at Joe.

Billy's anger began to rise again, just by how Bones was speaking to Joe. Billy's jaw tightened as Bones shoved Joe out of the way and stood in front of me, breathing heavy and staring down at my chest before slowly making eye contact with me.

"I see ya still around." Bones chuckled evilly. "Surprised this fuckin' halfwit hasn't fucked that up."

"He's not a fucking 'halfwit'" I snapped at Bones.

Billy shut his eyes, sighing loudly in disbelief that I had just said something to Bones of all people. Bones's eyes widened, causing his thick framed glasses to slide down his nose slightly. I gulped, instantly regretting what I just said.

"I'd watch who you're fuckin' talkin' to!" Bones spat at me as he took a step towards me.

Billy jumped in between us, staring down Bones and wrapping his arm around my waist, gripping my hip firmly, "Look, you got your money. What do you want?"

"Well." Bones started calmly, licking his lips. "I'm just wondering why none of you are out WORKING YOUR FUCKING SPOTS!" Bones screamed in Billy's face, spit flying out of his mouth.

"We're actually just about to head to them now." Billy lied in a low tone, trying his absolute hardest not to let his anger get the best of him.

Bones let out a faint laugh/scoff and shook his head, "Ya fuckin' better. You faggott's better have some fuckin' cash for me tomorra."

"Yeah. Dad." Billy taunted.

Bones narrowed his eyes into a glare at Billy, "Happy birthday... son." He said, patting Billy roughly on the side of the face before walking over to Joe and placing his fat hand on the back of Joe's neck and pulling Joe's forehead against his own, "You boys do what I said, alright?"

Billy held on to me even tighter as Bones glanced back at me from over his shoulder, shaking his head before waddling out of the bar. I bit my bottom lip and stared up at Billy, seeing the visible hurt in his pride as everyone stared at him. Billy leaned his head back and straightened out his back and shrugged it off.

"Ya fuckin' heard him. Let's go." Billy commanded.

"Billy..." I whispered softly as all of his boys started to stand up and throw their jackets on.

"Go home with Christy." Billy instructed firmly.

"I'm sorry..."

"Just fuckin' do it." Billy barked, letting me go.

"Joe, go with Jack and make sure they get back to ya girl's place safely." Billy barked another order.

Joe nodded and sighed loudly and motioned for me to follow him. Billy didn't even look at me as Christy took me by the hand and led me out of the bar behind Joe, Jack and Megan. I shivered as the cool air tickled my skin once we got outside and walked over to Jack's car where Christy, Joe and I piled into the backseat.

"Are you nuts?" Joe asked me as Jack began to drive away from the bar. "You don't ever talk to Bones like that, Amber..." Joe added, shaking his head.

"Are you nuts?" I copied him.

"What?" Joe asked cocking an eyebrow up at me.

"You almost got beat up by Billy AGAIN." I exclaimed.

"I was protecting you." Joe shrugged. "Not that I had to, he wouldn't hurt you... I just... went into protective uncle mode, I guess."

"I'm proud of you for standing up to him, babe." Christy praised Joe, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Joe... seriously." I sighed.

"Thank me by going to the doctor tomorrow morning." Joe smirked.

I rolled my eyes and nudged Joe in the arm with my elbow, "I will. I promise."

"Good." Joe smiled smugly. "I'll be coming over to Christy's tomorrow afternoon to make sure that you did!"

"She will, babe." Christy said softly.

"Hell yeah she will!" Megan exclaimed from the front seat. "We're gonna order pizza, watch movies tonight and wake her ass up super early in the morning and take her to the clinic!"

"You alright, Amber?" Jack asked ignoring everyone else.

I nodded, "Yeah, sorry I ruined your guys's night."

"You didn't." Jack chuckled, "Maybe Billy's... but not any of us." Jack added, making Megan shoot him a angry look.

"Sorry..." Jack mumbled, pulling up into a parking space outside of Joe's apartment complex.

"You sure you don't wanna come stay at my place?" Christy asked, pouting her lip.

"I can't babe, in case Billy needs me tonight." Joe sighed, kissing Christy's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you more." Christy sighed wrapping her arms around Joe.

I climbed out of the car so that Joe could get out. An eerie feeling crept inside of me as I scanned the area, seeing a homeless woman pushing a shopping cart full of empty bottles along the sidewalk and seeing a man across the street holding a brown paper bag wrapped around a bottle of some sort of liquor, hollering at another hooded man beside an oil barrel that was lit up from the fire inside of it.

"Try and get some rest... don't stress about Billy, he's just drunk and being a dick." Joe said, startling me a little.

"Thank you again, Joey. I'm sorry..." I apologized, staring down at my feet.

"Don't be sorry, everything is gonna be okay?" Joe reassured me. I smiled weakly as Joe bent his knees slightly and gently poked my stomach, "Hear that little one? Uncle Joey says everything is gonna be okay."

I giggled as Joe stood back up properly and grinned at me as he pulled me into a much needed hug, "Love you, Amb. I'll see you tomorrow alright?"

"Love you too, Joe." I responded.

"Let me know what the doc says, alright?" Joe called out as he began to walk off.

I climbed back inside of the car and Joe waved to Megan and Jack, walking backwards towards his apartment. Joe grinned to himself as he thought about how he was going to become an uncle.

Joe wasn't like Billy, Joe had a much softer side to him and wasn't so cold and bitter like Billy was. Then again, Joe didn't have to endure nearly half the shit that Billy had to growing up as Billy took most of Bones's shit. It was no surprise that Billy turned out the way that he did, but because of this, Billy tried his absolute hardest to raise Joe to not turn out just like Billy.

Joe unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped in, making a disgusted face as he got a whiff of the garbage he had forgot to take out before leaving earlier. Joe groaned and pulled out his cellphone, finding Billy's number in his contact list and sending Billy a text.

Billy, sorry bout tonight... happy birthday bro. love, Joey. 

Joe sighed as he sat his phone down on the counter and took off his red leather jacket, carelessly tossing it on his couch and pulling on a hoodie instead. Joe placed a cigarette between hit lips, lit it and tossed his lighter back down on the counter before reluctantly picking up the two bags of trash that were stinking up his entire apartment.

"Hey Joey!" Amanda said cheerfully as Joe walked outside of his apartment. Amanda, Baggy's sister lives in the same complex as Joe.

"Hey" Joe replied dully as Amanda carried her groceries towards her apartment door.

Joe opened the door to the maintenance/laundry room where the apartment complex's garbage bin just so happened to be located in. Joe exhaled smoked out of his mouth, the burning cigarette still dangling between his lips and he threw the one garbage bag into the dumpster and lifting up the second one.

"Fuck sakes!" Joe growled as the bottom of the second garbage tore open, garbage going everywhere and all over Joe's jeans. "Yuck..." Joe groaned as he hunched over and wiped his pants legs off.

Joe stood back up, sighed, turned around and jumped from being startled, his cigarette falling from in between his lips down to the cement floor. Joe gave a quick chuckle as he wiped his mouth off with his sleeve, "Fuck guys... you fuckin' scared the shi-" Joe stopped, his eyes finally adjusting and realizing who the men were standing in front of him.

Joe raised an eyebrow and pointed at Matt and Syn who were standing beside a tall, muscular man with blonde slicked back hair, he had similar facial hair to Billy's except this man's facial hair was longer. The man was well dressed, in a black suit and red tie. He stared at Joe with a blank expression as he puffed away on a cigarette.

"You.. you fucking kidding me?" Joe chuckled in disbelief. "What the fuck are you guys doin' here? Who the fuck is this?" Joe asked, pointing at the unfamiliar blonde male standing in between Matt and Syn.

"He's my older brother." Matt replied, smirking.

"So it is true, you guys are a bunch of fuckin' rich posers." Joe laughed in disbelief.

"I hear you're the one who sliced our little brothers throat." Matt snapped, glaring at Joe.

Joe gulped, "What... what the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know, we're the ones who gave your girlfriend and your brother's girlfriend the beating, trying to get them to talk. But, of course... they were less than cooperative." Syn explained, making Joe grit his teeth.

"But, luckily for us... a local crack head who hangs out around the store that my little brother was killed at, was hanging around there the other night again... so naturally we asked some questions. Guess who's cars he described perfectly to a t?" Matt asked slyly.

"Who's?" Joe asked, trying to act like he didn't know.

"Your fuckin' brother's and his fuckin friend Heco's." Syn hissed.

"You touch me and you'll be dead." Joe threatened them as the three men chuckled.

"We're not gonna kill you, ya little cunt. Well, not now anyway." Matt replied.

"Where the fuck is Billy?" Syn asked, snarling in disgust at Joe.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You think you can beat up his fucking girlfriend and then beat up his brother and think he's not gonna come after you and put a bullet in each of your skulls? You're fuck-"

Joe's sentence was cut short as the blonde unfamiliar man ripped the cigarette out from between his lips and handed it to Syn and then stepped forward, reached around behind him pulling out his knife and stabbing it right into Joe's side under his ribcage.

Joe collapsed to the floor, whimpering as he rolled onto his back and stared at the knife that was stabbed deep in his flesh. Joe's lip begin to quiver as he tried to touch the knife. He let out a small cry in pain. His body finally stopped twitching as he took his last gasp of air.

"Jesus fucking Christ! What are you doing?!" Matt exclaimed, staring at his older brother. "We didn't want to kill the little fuck! It's Billy we want, not him."

The blonde man chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, "And this is why I'm the fucking leader now. You're weak and pathetic."

Syn smirked evilly as he stared down at Joe's lifeless body, a pool of blood now soaking Joe's clothes around the knife wound. Syn handed the blonde man back his cigarette and laughed to himself as the man took back his cigarette and inhaled a long drag.

"I should have took over a long time ago." The blonde man stated, smoke exiting his mouth as he spoke. "Let's go."


	27. Chapter 26

've been on edge ever since I woke up on Christy's uncomfortable pull-out couch, this morning. I don't know how Jack and Megan survived sleeping on that God forsaken thing when I still lived there. Either way, I didn't sleep much last night given the fact about what happened last night at The Four Roses. I don't know what I done to Billy, but frankly I don't think it was anything I had done, he's just an asshole when he drinks heavy.

Christy and Megan were both planning on waking up early this morning and coming with me to the clinic, but because I tossed and turned all night last night, I just slipped out of their apartment before any of them woke up this morning and went myself. So, here I am... sitting on this awkward hospital bed/bench thing in a hospital gown, chewing my nails impatiently waiting for the doctor to return to the room.

"Well, Amber! Are you ready?" The doctor asked as he walked into the room, awakening me from my thoughts.

I nodded, unsure of what it was that we were going to be doing especially since I'm not all thaaaat far along. It's only been two weeks since I found out and four and a half weeks since Billy and I last had sex. The fact the doctor had me strip down into my bra and underwear and put on this ridiculous gown tells me that he's going to do an early ultrasound to detect how far along I am exactly. Obviously I won't be seeing baby or anything, it's more so just to give me an idea on when I'm due. I only know this because my oldest sister - back when I was still welcome in my family - dragged me along to all her appointments when she got pregnant.

I exhaled a rugged breath as I laid down and stared up at the white ceiling tiles. The doctor opened my gown and applied a cold, blue gel on my stomach and began. I shivered as I shifted my eyes from the ceiling to the doctor, his facial expression was stiff while he concentrated on the screen. Worry took over me as the doctor remained silent.

"Is... everything okay?" I asked, my voice cracking with fear.

"Yes, I'm not going to show you the screen because baby is literally the size of a peppercorn. You're five weeks roughly, as for your due date... you're sure you don't remember your last period?" The doctor asked, frowning at me.

I shook my head, "No... But if I'm already a month pregnant... wouldn't my due date be somewhere in late April... May?"

"Exactly."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Well... alright then...." I trailed off awkwardly as the doctor wiped the blue gel off of my bare stomach.

"I'll let you get dressed and then we'll have a chat, alright Amber?" The doctor said with a warm smile. "Congratulations, by the way."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek absent mindedly as I nodded slowly, "Thanks..."

Image

While I was at the doctors office, Billy was speeding away from his father's chop shop, extremely aggravated. It was bad enough that yesterday after leaving our apartment and heading straight to see Bones, Billy found out his mother had overdosed and died early yesterday morning. The man she had run off with years ago contacted Bones to let him know and in hopes of finding her two sons in time for the funeral. Billy being Billy, acted like it didn't bother him in front of Bones. But given the fact that it was his birthday and that he hasn't seen or heard from his mother in years, of course it bothered him.

Bones was even more of a dick this morning, more than he usually is all because of what happened last night at the Four Roses. He warned Billy to keep me in line if Billy doesn't want anything to happen to me. Given that I'm the only girl Billy has ever loved, hearing the man he hates most threaten my life made Billy's blood boil worse than it ever has when it comes to Bones.

"Fuck." Billy grumbled as he pressed his foot harder down on the gas peddle, sending the orange and yellow leaves that have fallen from the trees, flying around as he drove towards the cement stairs of the abandoned mental hospital - "The office" - and came to a sudden stop.

Billy's jaw tightened as he climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut and gripping tightly onto the now empty green backpack of his. He sighed through his nose as he made his way into the abandoned mental hospital and down to the basement where his boys cook their drugs.

Billy noticed that there wasn't any rock or metal music playing like their usually was whenever his boys were down here cooking. It was almost like nobody was here even though all of their cars were outside. As Billy made his way through the room where all the glass laboratory flasks and other supplies that they used to make drugs, on metal tables. To Billy's surprise, his boys were actually there afterall, just sitting around in silence. Not cooking drugs, not doing anything, just sitting there looking down and out.

Billy stopped and stared at everyone, "What?"

Spink turned and looked at Billy with an emotionless expression across his face. Heco was sitting on a chair, staring down at his feet as he fiddled with a unlit cigarette in his hands. Jamie was sitting backwards on another chair, caressing his chin and slowly shaking his head. Dog was standing at one of the tables pretending to look like he was actually mixing up drugs like he was suppose to be doing. Baggy was on the other side of the room, leaning against a table and staring down at the ground with a sad look on his face. Spink sat backwards on a chair, staring at Jamie awkwardly while Bodie was nowhere in sight.

"What?" Billy repeated, raising his voice slightly.

When nobody answered him, an annoyed sneer formed across Billy's face as his eyes scanned around the room, looking at all of his boys as he held out his arms, "Somebody fucking tell me what the fuck is going on" Billy demanded.

Before anyone could say anything, Bodie walked out from one of the rooms nearby and stood a few feet away from Billy. Billy blinked as he turned his head and looked over at Bodie who's been Billy's best friend since they were kids. He'd be the one to tell Billy what was going on. However, a worried and saddened look was on Bodie's face as if he had just seen a ghost or something. Bodie glanced at everyone before looking back at Billy, his eyes widened in expectance.

"You hear?" Bodie asked impatiently, his voice trembling.

Billy didn't answer him, instead he just stared at Bodie waiting for him to tell him whatever it was that was going on that everyone looks so depressed. A million possibilities were running through Billy's mind now at this point.

Bodie sighed when Billy didn't answer his question, "Joe dude..."

"Somebody stuck him..." Bodie blinked, shrugging slightly and shaking his head nervously, "-He's dead."

Billy's face dropped and his eyes narrowed, "What?"

Billy's words came out in an angry, rugged harsh whisper. Billy swallowed hard, his nostrils flared, his jaw muscles tightening, "You're lying."

Bodie shook his head and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat before speaking, "He's gone..."

There was a long silent pause between everyone as they awaited for Billy's reaction, all expecting him to freak out and start yelling. But for a moment, Billy's eyes just widened and glistened as he stared wide eyed at Bodie. He then did the most unexpected, he remained silent and just turned around and stormed towards the door, ripping the backpack off of his shoulder and throwing it against a steel shelf that held flasks as he continued to storm out of the building.

His baby brother was gone, and something had just snapped deep inside of Billy.

\-----

After I got done at the clinic, I made my way to work just to be bitched at by Christy and Megan for not waking them up this morning as they both really wanted to come to the doctor's with me. Other then that, everything seemed like a normal work night. For the first time in days, I wasn't stressed... at least not until Jack showed up. Christy and I were working with Amanda and Ramona tonight as Sammy was out of town for the week. Megan sat at the bar eating nachos and drinking beer, visiting me to help make my shift go by faster.

Jack looked sick, the rest of Billy's boys piled into the bar all looking just as sick as Jack looked. Billy was no where in sight but I assumed he was around somewhere close as it was rare that all of Billy's boys would be here without him. It didn't occur to me what was going on until Jack grabbed hold of Megan by the arm and mouthed something to her, making Megan's expression drop.

Everything seemed like it was in slow motion as Megan slowly stood up from her stool and stared at me and gulped, reaching out for Christy who had just walked out from behind the bar with a tray full of shots. I tilted my head to the side slightly as I watched Megan block Christy from taking anymore steps and proceed to tell her something.

My heart sunk as I watched Christy drop the tray full of shots... glass and amber coloured liqour flying everything as the tray hit the floor. Christy fell into Megan's arms and Jack instantly ran over to her and helped Megan hold a hysterical, bawling Christy. Christy flailed around in Jack's arms as she collapsed to her knees.

"NOT MY JOE!" She screamed in horror. "JOE!" She continued to bawl.

My stomach flopped and I made my way over to Christy, falling to my knees and wrapping my arms around her - still not processing what was actually happening. Jack, Megan and I all fought to get Christy to stand up and come back behind the bar where she just ended up collapsing to the floor again, this time bringing me down with her. I rocked Christy back and forth in my arms and Ramona turned the "closed" sign on the bar while Amanda delivered shots over to Billy's boys like nothing was happening.

"Get me my phone!" I commanded to Megan.

"No. Don't call him..." Bodie exclaimed from the table. "He'll be here soon enough."

I can't even properly describe the feeling I have inside right now. The room is still spinning and Christy is still in my arms, sobbing into my shoulder. Ramona and Amanda are dealing with the few regulars who are still sitting at the bar. Jack and Megan and crouched down beside us and Bodie and the boys are sitting at their regular table, glasses raised ready for a toast. An eerie familiar song began to play throughout the bar, making everything ten times more intense than it already was. "Young Men Dead" by The Black Angels.

"He didn't deserve that... No way he deserved that. He was a true fuckin' soldier." Bodie started to toast as he raised his glass up followed by the rest of the guys holding their beer mugs up and pressing them together in a toast.

"To Joe!" Bodie raised his voice, "He was a good fucking boy! ...A good FUCKING BOY!"

That was all Bodie was able to say before the beer mug was ripped right out of out of Bodie's hand. Bodie stared up at Billy who had just yanked the mug out of Bodies hand followed by slamming it down on the table making beer fly up out of the mug, all over the table and over Billy's hands. The others went wide eyed and even gasped a little as they stared up at Billy.

"So that's what we're going to do?" Billy asked everyone as he wiped his hands on his jeans before picking up another mug full of beer from the table and pouring it out onto the floor. "Why don't you show a little fuckin' respect at least?"

Christy stopped crying and we both slowly stood up to see what the commotion was about. I caught my breathe in my throat as I stared at their table, looking at everyone's scared and nervous facial expressions. Billy was wearing a black long sleeved shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his cross necklace dangling from around his neck.

"See, THAT is why you guys are nothing" Billy started, slamming the empty mug back down on the table. "THAT is why you guys are a bunch of fuckin' punks because you'd rather drink up and toke yourselves fucking witless. Witless and scared shitless!" Billy shouted.

Billy wiped his mouth before shaking his head, "Ah... my bad. Here cheers..." Billy chuckled, picking up a shot glass of whiskey and raising it up.

Everybody looked up at Billy strangely, Bodie even cocked his eyebrow at Billy while Heco scrunched his brow. They were all confused but didn't dare to say anything. I've never seen Billy act like this, go from screaming to laughing. There was a wild, crazy look in his eyes that scared me beyond words. I don't think he even noticed me standing at the bar, and if he did, I don't think he cared.

"GET YOUR FUCKING GLASSES UP! ALL OF YOU!" Billy screamed at the top of his lungs, making everyone jump in their skin.

His boys instantly picked up their glasses and toasted again but instead of Billy clanging his shot glass with them, he gritted his teeth and threw the shot glass across the room, hitting the wall and smashing to the floor sending glass shards everywhere. Everybody quickly threw back their drinks as Billy turned around and placed his hands on his hips and slowly walked a few steps away from the table. Billy tried to gather his thoughts as he ran a hand over his shaved head.

I let out a whimper, wanting to run to him and comfort him but I was held back by fear. Billy glanced over at me for a split second, his jaw tightening as we made eye contact. He didn't look away from me until Bodie began to speak.

"Joe just wasn't made for this shit...that's all." Bodie tried to comfort Billy. "He wasn't like us."

"No!" Billy shouted, spinning around. "He wasn't like you, you mean! He was not like you! He was better than you!" Billy screamed pointing at Bodie.

Bodie scoffed and stared at Billy with wide eyes, taken back by what Billy had just said to him. Billy's chest heaved in and out as he stared down at Bodie.

"We as good as brothers since we was kids and you fucking go this way?!" Bodie shouted back. "What? I'm not as good as you now?! Joe was like blood to me dog... as good as fuckin' blood. Same with you!" He added.

Billy nodded slowly, agreeing with what Bodie had just said. Spink scooted over in the booth, making room for Billy to sit down.

"Well..." Billy started as he sat down beside Spink and put his hands together on top of the table, "I would like to catch the mother fucker who did this."

"Oh we will!" Tommy exclaimed with confidence.

"Ain't no mother fuckin' doubt!" Bodie added.

"Do the right fuckin' thing by Joe, yeah?" Spink chimed in.

Billy placed a cigarette in between his lips and picked up a burning candle from the table and lit the cigarette with it, So who fuckin' did it?!" Billy barked a question, exhaling smoke as he ripped the cigarette out from between his lips.

"It wasn't the cardymac's man... I would know about it." Heco piped up in a slur, clearly higher than a fucking kite.

"Unless you were high." Billy retorted, shaking his head at Heco in disbelief.

"High?... I'm not high..." Heco lied in a mumble. Jamie held his arm out at Heco and slapped his arm, pretending to inject heroin like Heco does.

"It wasn't 3rd street, Billy. It wasn't the hall. It wasn't any of those assholes." Spink told Billy as Billy took another drag off of his cigarette.

"Yo... my sister... said she saw a fucker in a suit down there with two tattooed goons, just chillin'." Baggy told the crowd, finally speaking.

Billy's face dropped as he slowly turned and looked over at Baggy before looking over at Amanda who was walking around the other side of the bar. Billy nodded his head slowly as he stood up from his seat.

"How many fuckers in a suit do you see at Stokley fucking home?" Billy asked as he took long strides over to the bar where a stack of news papers were placed, still not even so much as looking at me. Billy picked up the paper and read the front page as he turned and started to casually make his way back to the table.

"See, here's a comical thing-" Billy started in a muffled tone caused from the cigarette between his lips. He pulled the cigarette out from his mouth and continued, "When one of us gets killed, we don't make the papers. But the baby brother of a Boston club owner," Billy sat down and placed the cigarette back between his lips, "Woo-wee."

Billy held up the paper, showing everyone the photo of the kid Joe had killed from B-street, along with a family photo of the kid with all his brothers - including the man who stabbed Joe. Billy inhaled another drag off his cigarette before extending his arm out across the table and handing the paper to Baggy, "Go talk to your sister." Billy instructed.

Baggy instantly shot up from his seat and walked over to the bar where his sister was standing. I watched as Billy continued to puff back on his smoke as he watched Baggy pull his sister to the side and show her the front page of the newspaper, pointing at the men in the photos. She looked at the photo for a brief second before nodding her head rapidly. Billy fought to keep his cigarette dangling between his lips as his lip quivered from his blood beginning to boil. Baggy leaned his head back and his expression fell as he looked back over at Billy.

A murderous, wild look formed on Billy's face. I knew good and well that the Billy I had fallen in love with was nowhere to be found as I was staring at a dead man walking. I can't risk it... I have to tell him, and I have to tell him now.


	28. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm gonna try finish adding the rest of this story onto this website.

"I just feel so empty..." Christy murmured, plopping down on my couch and wiping away a stray tear, "I can't believe he's gone..."

I sighed, sitting down next to her and pulling her into a hug, "I know..."

"He was so excited to be an uncle." Christy snorted, face turning red and tears now pouring out of her eyes. "He wasn't meant for any of this".

"I know, I know..." I soothed softly.

"He would have been there for you, regardless on what Billy says when you tell him. You know that right?" She hiccuped, wiping her tears away.

I nodded and frowned, "I miss him so much."

"What am I going to do without him? I've never loved somebody before. I honestly believe he was the one." Christy sniffled.

"I know, Chris. I'm so sorry."

"I think you owe it to Joe to tell Billy today..." Christy sniffled.

"How?" I asked, pulling away from her and sighing. "He hasn't been home at all in the past two nights since he found out about Joe. He wont answer my calls, texts... anything."

"Well, Jack said Billy and his boys were gonna go see about getting Joe cremated this morning... I also heard Jack talking about having to go to the "office" afterwards." Christy replied.

"That's it! Where's Jack?!"

"At home... probably. Why?" Christy asked dully.

"He will know where this infamous fucking "office" is located." I snapped my fingers, nodding with a smug look on my face.

"Megan asked Jack to quit..." Christy stated, following me into the kitchen where our purses and keys were.

"And?" I asked, hopeful that Jack agreed.

"He said no."

"What?!"

"Even after everything with Joe?!"

"I know... Meg's pissed and worried about him. I think he's becoming addicted to the easy money." Christy sighed.

"Chris, are you sure you want to come with me...?" I asked slowly, scared to hit a nerve.

"Joe would have been right behind you, but he's not here... so I'm going to be." Christy replied as we left the apartment and made our way over to Christy's car.

"You sure...?" I pressed, wincing.

"I'll be fine, Amber... I just want you to tell him and get this out of the way." Christy responded, biting her bottom lip as she started her car and put it in reverse.

Christy had bought a cheap car a day prior to Joe getting killed. She's been paying her bills on time, making payments on her fake tits regularly, staying off of cocaine and booze, bought herself a little car... just to have everything go to shit by finding out her boyfriend was murdered.

"What if things go wrong?" I asked in a low tone.

"Then you'll move back in with us, now won't you?" Christy replied, smiling slightly for the first time in days.

"Thank you, Christy." I mumbled.

"Don't mention it... but let's just hope for the best... Lord knows we could use some good in our lives for once."

"Where are we going?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"We'll go talk to Jack and find out where this "office" is... then, well... go tell Billy, I guess." Christy shrugged before glancing from the road over to me, "Don't worry... I'll be with you. No matter what."

It wasn't that I was worried about telling Billy on my own, I was more worried about what his reaction would be, especially now. Something had snapped in him the day he found out about Joe and literally anything 'loving' or 'caring' deep inside of him vanished. His eyes were dark and cold, his expression was angered and he was fuelled by hate. He just wasn't "Billy" anymore.

"We should just go to McDonalds and put ourselves into a food coma." I suggested, becoming nervous at the fact that soon I'd be telling Billy that I'm pregnant.

"Amber, if you don't tell him today I swear to God I will run you over with my car." Christy growled, pausing to frown, "Fuck... I can't even do that, you're pregnant."

We both laughed before Christy sighed and glanced over at me, "Thank you for being here for me... I... I'm sorry for anything I've ever done..."

"Don't be. Of course I'd be here for you, you're my best friend."

"I'm a shitty best friend, Amber. I'm a shitty girlfriend, I'm a shitty person in general... but believe me when I say, I'm fucking paying for it." Christy whimpered, biting the inside of her cheek and resting her head on her free hand against the car window.

"I just wish I could see him one more time." Christy sniffled, wiping away a few tears.

"You'll see him again, someday." I said awkwardly, almost wincing at the fact that I was unsure of what I should say right now.

Christy raised her brows and laughed faintly, "Sooner than later."

I cocked an eyebrow up at her, "What are you saying..."

Christy smirked and pursed her lips, "Nothing... Let's just go talk to Jack."

Image

Billy sat on one of the church pew's in the church of the abandoned mental hospital that they had for the patients back in the day when the hospital was still running. It was clear that this hospital that they called "the office" was abandoned by all the garbage, broken pews, smashed beer bottles and ripped up bibles throughout the room.

To the right of Billy was a half broken statue of Mary and to the front of him was an old wooden chair where Joe's infamous red leather jacket was hanging on the back of the chair. Billy sat in silence, pondering his own thoughts as he stared down at a photo of himself and Joe. Just like Joe had mentioned only days ago, Billy indeed did have a photo of himself with hair. It just so happened to be this photo. Billy had just gotten all his tattoos and was probably 22 in the photo, a head full of dirty blonde hair and a rare genuine smile across his face. Joe was beside him, smirking at the camera.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side as he continued to stare at the photo with an emotionless expression. He knew damn well who did this and he knew damn well that having Joe do the initiation was what started all of this. In the end, it was Billy's fault that Joe was dead. He knew it and everyone else knew it. It was eating at him and was only pursuing him to go after the fuck's who did this, even more.

"We gonna do this?" Bodie asked as he walked into the chapel.

Billy didn't answer Bodie. Instead he just remained silent and took once last glance at the photo of him and Joe before putting the photo back into his wallet and tucking his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans. Billy slowly gazed up at the chair with Joe's jacket hanging off the back.

Bodie didn't say a word as he watched Billy stand tall and walk over to the chair, picking up the jacket and throwing it on himself. Billy turned around to face Bodie, fixing the collar of Joe's jacket. Bodie knew that Billy was ready and that just by Billy wearing that jacket meant shit was going to hit the fan for whoever did this to Joe.

An hour or so later.. Billy and all of his gang except for Jack all climbed out of both Billy's and Heco's cars and cooly walked along side of Billy along the sidewalk. They all wore sunglasses, except Bodie. Billy was still wearing Joe's red leather jacket. Billy lit his cigarette as they walked towards the funeral home, not even caring to put his cigarette out before walking inside.

"Memorial service is only another 100." The older man at the register said sweetly.

Bodie and Tommy were at the till while the others were sitting down on the couches for the customers. Billy however stood across the room, his back facing everyone.

"He doesn't need a service." Billy called out, still not facing any of them. "Just burn him."

Bodie dug into his pocket and pulled out a silver zippo lighter and held it up at the clerk/funeral home guy, "Why don't you respect the grieving here's wishes... or I'm burning you too." Bodie threatened.

"I'll make sure you get a service." Tommy taunted.

The man gulped as he rang up a new cost, "Cremation and disposal... $700.00"

Bodie rolled his eyes and grabbed the man by the collar of his button up shirt.

Billy gritted his teeth and yanked his wallet out from the pocket of his jeans, "See this wallet?! This wallet's got $200 in it." Billy explained as he pulled out the cash and crinkled the money into a ball.

"And this $200 takes care of my boy!" Billy shouted as he spun around and threw the money at the man before spinning back around and not facing anyone. It was clear that Billy was hurt and upset about Joe.

"Two hundred?" The man questioned unbelievably before gulping, "We're sorry for your loss."

"Yeah I bet you are." Bodie replied sarcastically, letting go of the mans shirt and giving him a slight slap on the cheek.

Bodie turned around and walked towards Billy who was once staring straight ahead off into space but was now glancing down at the photo of Joe and himself. Bodie stared down at the photos in Billy's hands before looking back up at his best friend, seeing that Billy was smirking to himself and nodding slightly as he thought of how he was going to get those B-street fucks back.

"You thinkin' something?" Bodie asked slyly.

Billy gave a slight nod before motioning his crew to follow him. Billy led his gang members out of the funeral home. Billy's gang followed behind him just like a pack of lions, following their messiah. Jamie was the first one to notice a familiar older but completely restored 1985 four door Cadillac, driving slowly past Billy and his gang. Considering the car was completely restored and in mint condition, just like Billy's and Heco's cars were... could only mean one thing...

Bones Darley

Bones rested his left arm on the steering while and leaned over the passenger seat and he drove by slowly, squinting out the window. Bones huffed as he finally made eye contact with his son. Billy closed his eyes slowly, sighing in annoyance. Billy was already aggravated, his father was the last person he wanted to run into right now. Bones scrunched his nose, using his index finger to push his thick black squared glasses up further on his face. There was tape in the middle holding the glasses together. Bones pursed his lips and half laughed/half puffed as he sped up and went around the block, quickly hanging a right and speeding down the nearest alley way. Bones pulled out of the alley, back out onto the street where Billy and his gang were walking towards the two cars that they would pile into.

Billy stopped and straightened out his back, standing tall as he tightened his jaw muscles. Bones parked his car, blocking Billy and his gang from walking any further along the sidewalk, blocking anyone for that matter. Since Bones was a heavy set man, it took him a few moments to climb out of his car. Once he was out, he slammed the door shut and yanked up his pants.

"What the FUCK... are we all doing here?!" Bones called out.

Everyone in Billy's gang remained silent and just shifted their eyes around nervously, watching Billy's every move. Billy was the most ruthless, notorious, roughest and toughest man they ever knew. No one could stand up to Billy and live long enough to talk about it. Everybody except Bones Darley. It's no surprise why Billy cowers when it comes to his father, given his childhood. However, be that as it may... Billy is not afraid of his father, not even in the slightest. It's just weird how Billy puts up with his fathers shit and doesn't say a God damn thing. Maybe it's because that's the only parent Billy has left... maybe it's because Bones is the only family Billy has left now. Or maybe it's because regardless of Billy's childhood, Billy and Joe were both raised that blood is the most important thing.

"Maybe somebody is gonna tell me when you girls are planning to put a few minutes in on the perfectly good corners I gave ya. Huh?" Bones asked as he stomped up over to in front of Billy.

Billy became stiff and slightly leaned his head back. Bones could tell by Billy's expression that he was aggravated and didn't need to hear his father's bullshit right now. This only made Bones gain a sick twist of confidence, knowing that just by his presence, he was getting under his eldest son's skin. Bones smirked slyly as he dug into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a newspaper.

"And now... I get to read about gang wars. Dead pieces of shit, because somebody had to kill some rich little faggot." Bones spat, gritting his teeth. "WAY TO MAKE THE FUCKING PAPERS!" Bones hollered as he hit Billy several times with the news paper.

Bones turned and swatted Bodie with the news paper as well, "I don't fucking need shit like this!" Bones roared making Bodie stare down at the ground, watching the news paper that was once in Bones's hands fall to the ground.

"Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me!" Bones repeated as he pointed both index fingers at everyone, "When you work for me, you fucking work for me. You don't in and out, you don't half ass... YOU FUCKING PAY ME!"

Jamie's eyes shot up at Bones as Bones screamed at them. Baggy stared at Heco who shifted his eyes around at all the other nervous and silent gang members of Billy's. Billy just remained silent and emotionless. He was so use to Bone's screaming that it just became a normal everyday thing.

"I say when you're done. And when I say that, one of ya leaves the little shit hole you live in after your morning needle on a pretty day..." Bones trailed off in a fake cheerful tone. "And you wake up bleeding to death in the trunk of my car..." He threatened evilly.

Billy remained agitated and clicked his jaw, blinking away his annoyance yet continued to remain silent and listen to his fathers threatening and carrying on. Billy could sense the fear and discomfort energy coming from his boys behind him. Billy wasn't the only one that Bones made uncomfortable.

"Okay?" Bones asked as everyone except Billy, nodded.

"Cause when you're with me, I'm your life and fucking death. I'm THE FUCKING WORLD ON A CRACKER!" Bones shouted again. "SO WHICH... one of you boys is gonna bleed to death in the trunk of my car?" Bones asked, lowering his tone.

Bones leaned toward Billy and cracked a sly smirk, "Is it going to be you, Billy boy? Gang lord?"

Billy's blood began to boil as Bones taunted Billy, trying to make him look like a fool in front everyone. Billy snorted as he tried to hide his devilish grin. He curled his fists into balls. He wanted nothing more than to knock the taped up glasses right off of his father's fat face right now. But of course, Billy just clenched his jaw, tightening his jaw muscles and blinked emotionless towards his father. He didn't want to give Bones the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to him.

Bones smirked before spitting out his gum directly onto Billy's shirt. Spit and gum both bounced off of Billy's shirt and Billy stared down, watching as the wad of gum landed on the cement. Bones and everyone else in the gang thought for sure that Billy would flip out now. Instead, Billy just slowly raised his head back up and stared at Bones directly in the eyes, showing no signs of anger or fear.

"Whatever you little fucks think is important...." Bones started, pausing to point at his own head, "Ain't important. So STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW." Bones hollered, referring to what he read in the paper and whatever it was that Billy and his gang have been involved in the past few days.

ones looked around at everyone, "Be good boys." He said in a calmer, much lower tone.

He then proceeded by placing a hand on the back of Billy's neck and pulling Billy's head towards his lips where he kissed Billy on top of his bald head like he has been doing since they were kids, it was the only time Bones showed 'love and affection' to his sons.

"Buckle down for me." Bones demanded firmly as he patted Billy on the arm and turned around.

Billy closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and staring at everyone behind him. Billy clicked his jaw yet once again as Bones was walking back towards his car.

"They're burning Joe!" Billy called out after his father, finally speaking as well. Bones stopped dead in his tracks and Billy shot a fake smile towards his father, "-If you're interested!"

Bones turned around slowly and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before speaking, "Well... he's the lucky one ain't he?"

Image

My stomach twisted in knots as Christy pulled up outside of the abandoned mental hospital that Jack had absent-mindedly told us where it was located. He was gullible and Christy was good at getting people to tell her things that they weren't suppose to. I'd assume that Jack probably has put two and two together by now and is probably on his way here now to try and stop us from actually going inside of this place and attempting to find Billy. I know he's in there, given the fact that his car is parked out front.

"I wanna go home... please." I whimpered, holding my stomach, trying to calm my nerves down.

"Amber... you can't... you have to tell him." Christy replied, rolling her puffy red eyes.

I nodded, and swallowed the lump that had just formed in my throat. Christy patted me on the shoulder before we both turned and climbed out of her car. I exhaled a shaky breathe as the cool fall breeze blew my hair wildly in the wind, orange and yellow leaves flying around as the wind blew around. I shivered and slowly made my way up the cement steps of the "office" and gulped as I slowly opened the glass doors.

I bit my bottom lip nervously, glancing back at Christy who sighed and motioned me to keep going. This place was dark and eerie, creepy and scary. I stared around the dark hallway of the mental hospital; a light that had fallen from the ceiling blinked as it hung in place by a few strong wires, papers and garbage all over the floor, graffiti spray painted on the walls throughout the whole mental hospital from what I could see. It took my eyes a moment to gain focus, it was so dark in here. I clicked my jaw to the side as I tried to focus on any kind of sound. All I could hear was the buzzing/humming sound coming from the light that was hanging by a 'thread'.

"This is it?" Christy scoffed in disgust. "Where the fuck do they cook their drugs in this dump?"

"Must be in the basement... Let's go..." I whispered.

"Amber be careful you don't trip on something in here... Maybe we should just wait outside." Christy suggested, carefully following behind me and reaching out for my arm to make sure I don't fall.

"Fuck that, it's cold out there. You can't back out now! You're the one who convinced me to do this." I hissed, glaring at her in the dark.

"Yeah that was before I came in here. Look at this place! Wait for it, a homeless man will job out and rape us." Christy replied cynically, making me roll my eyes.

The main door of the mental hospital ripped open and in Jack came, running towards us, "HEY!"

"YO! Jackie, that you? get your ass down here." I heard Bodie yell out from somewhere in the lower level of this place.

"Yeah!" Jack shouted out, glaring at me.

"What are you doing here?" Both Christy and I hissed at him in hushed whispers.

Jack stared at us wide eyed, "Are you serious?! This is the worst fucking place to tell him. You're not even suppose to know about this place, let alone be here."

"I don't care." I replied, dully.

"Amber... seriously... trust me. You need to leave, now." Jack tried.

"Jack, if you don't fuck off and let her tell him right now. I'm gonna go home, fuck Megan so good that she'll turn lesbian and leave you for me. Then I'm never gonna speak to her again and break her heart." Christy spat, making both Jack and I cock our eyebrows up and making me laugh at her outburst.

Jack groaned, "He's gonna fucking kill me."

"Why? you had nothing to do with this." I retorted.

"Woah, no... get out of here." Heco said, from the stairs, surprised that Christy and I were actually standing here.

"Amber?! Get the fuck out of here. Go. He's coming." Bodie exclaimed, marching up the stairs and jogging over to me, grabbing Christy and I and pulling us towards the door. "He's not himself, you need to get out of here... and fast." Bodie instructed, staring at me between narrowed eyes as he continued to drag us both towards the door.

I scrunched my face and glanced back over my shoulder, seeing all of Billy's boys now up on this floor, staring at Jack with wide eyes as if he should have known better. Jack was standing there, arms out and trying to explain to them that Christy and I had tricked him. Christy was yelling at Bodie to let us go while I was struggling to get out of his grip.

Finally, I managed to yank my arm out of his grasp and glared at him. Bodie opened his mouth to say something, but paused when he stared back over towards the stairs, his eyes widened and he gulped. Confused, I turned my head to see what Bodie was looking at, immediately gasping as Billy charged at me, grabbing me roughly by my upper arm and dragging me towards the first room he could find.

"Amber!" Christy exclaimed running towards us, only to have the door slammed in her face.

"What the FUCK are you doing here?!" Billy roared, roughly shoving me away from him.

I stumbled over my own feet, nearly falling over but managed to regain my balance. Gulping, I stared up at him, noticing how wild his eyes were. He was seething angry, chest heaving in and out caused from breathing heavy due to being enraged, nostrils flared and towering over me.

"I asked you a fucking question, bitch!" Billy screamed, grabbing me by the arm again, digging his fingers into my flesh and slamming me up against the cement wall.

I whimpered as the back of my head bounced off the concrete wall. My eyes brimmed with tears as I reached for the back of my head, gently massaging it. My eyes shifted back over to Billy, who didn't even seem fazed by what he had just done. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my body began to tremble. I wasn't crying because I was afraid of him, I was crying because of what he had just done. I felt like Shane was standing in front of me, not my Billy...

"Who are you..." I sniffled, unable to control the petty sobbing.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?!" Billy screamed at the top of his lungs, making me clamp my eyes shut and hold my arms up, as if I was expecting him to strike me.

"You disappeared, Billy." I cried, "I was worried about you. I-I-I need to talk to you-"

"I don't need your fucking pity, you stupid bitch." Billy spat, shoving me away from him as I reached for him. Luckily for me, this time I didn't smack my head off the wall.

"J-Joe told me to tell you-"

"DON'T." Billy screamed, "Don't fuckin' talk about him. You don't know a fucking thing. He didn't mean shit to you."

"Yes he did, you fucking asshole!" I screamed hysterically crying as I did so. "Don't fucking take this out on me! I fucking loved Joe."

"Get the fuck out of my sight." Billy growled in a low but dangerous tone, staring down at me.

"I fucking hate you." I spat. "You're the biggest mistake of my fucking life. This is your fucking fault! Everything is your fucking fault! You're just like Bones, for fuck sakes." I shouted, instantly regretting what I had just blurted out.

Billy grabbed me by the throat, his fingers digging into my jaw and slammed me up against the wall. He lowered his face down so that our faces were only inches apart, "Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking cunt." He growled.

"STOP!" I screamed a scratchy cry like nails on a chalkboard.

"YOU THINK YOU KNOW THIS LIFE? HUH? YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING!" He screamed in my face, using his free hand to punched the cement wall beside my head, making me jump and cry harder than I already was.

I swallowed hard, shutting my eyes for a second causing more tears to pour down my face, "I'm pregnant."

I don't think he really even realized how enraged he had become until he felt my tears hit his hand that was wrapped around my jaw/throat. Billy stared down at his hand before glancing up at me, staring into my puffy and wet eyes. He instantly pulled his hand away from me and stared at me blankly, his anger instantly vanishing as he suddenly realized who it was that was standing in front of him and what he had just done to me.

Billy took a step back, staring at me in horror as I slid down to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, bawling hysterically. The door flew open and in piled Bodie and Jamie, staring at Billy and I. Christy and Jack instantly came over to me and pulled me up to my feet. I fell into Jack's arms and bawled uncontrollably.

"I'm out of here." Jack stated, his voice slightly cracking. "I'm out of this shit, for good."

Billy didn't protest or say anything for that matter. He just stormed out of the room, and out of the "office" all together. I pulled myself away from Jack and ran out after Billy, who started his car and began to speed away, leaving me standing there bawling.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I screamed, crouching down and picking up and handful of gravel and throwing it after Billy's car, missing completely.

I fell to my knees and gasped for air, my eyes burning from crying, "I fucking..." I hiccuped, feeling Jack pull me up to my feet and Christy run over to me, wrapping her arms around me. "I fucking HATE YOU!"


	29. Chapter 28

It's been exactly a month since I told Billy that I was pregnant and I've went out of my way to avoid him like the plague. After I gathered my thoughts that night, I immediately went back to "our" apartment and gathered my belongings and moved back to Christy's, but given the fact that Megan and Jack took over my room when I moved out, I'm now crashing on the uncomfortable pull out couch. I quit the Four Roses and I'm now working at a small waffle house like diner. Christy still works at the bar and I can tell how awkward she becomes when I ask her how Billy's doing. He hasn't tried to call, text or anything. He really is just like his father.

"What can I get you today?" I mumbled out a question, not looking up at the person who had just sat down on the stool in front of me.

"Coffee would be nice." A males voice replied.

I stared up and smiled weakly, "Black?"

"Sure." He replied with a smile.

He had blonde slicked back hair, facial hair like Billy's but a little bit longer and blue eyes. He was wearing a black pull over hoodie and a pair of dark washed jeans. He was sitting down but I'm going to assume that he's about 6"1, an inch shorter than Billy. God why am I comparing everything to Billy? Besides the obvious reason that I miss him terribly.

I placed the cup of coffee down in front of the man and smiled briefly, going back to stacking creamers. I could sense his eyes staring at me, which made me blush multiple shades of red. He was extremely handsome and I felt nervous in his presence.

"Excuse me, Miss?"

"Yes?" I asked, slightly shaking my head trying to focus.

"Could I get a menu too, please?" He asked softly, flashing me a white smile.

I nodded, handing him a menu. He took the menu from me, glanced down at it and then back up at me and chuckled. I chewed on my bottom lip absent mindedly, waiting for him to tell me what he wanted to order.

"It all sounds so good." He stated with a chuckle.

"Meh..." I shrugged, "If you like overpriced eggs and bacon, then yeah. Sounds super good."

A smirk cracked from the corners of his lips as we made eye contact and my eyes widened from realization of what I had just said to a customer. I gasped slightly and he just continued to smile at me in amusement.

"I-I- I mean, uh..."

"It's okay, you're probably right." He chuckled.

I felt stupid and humiliated. How could I possibly say that in front of a customer? Maybe it's because I've been extremely bitchy this past week. My doctor told me my hormones were gonna go loco here pretty soon and I was still experiencing "morning sickness" but it was now more like "You eat anything I don't like, I'm gonna make you throw up - sickness". This baby definitely is just like it's father. Ugh, there I go again... thinking about Billy.

"I'll get some overpriced eggs and bacon." He said with a grin, handing me back the menu.

Nodding, I quickly scribbled down his order on my small notepad and turned on one heel and gave the cook the order. I wanted this shift to be over with so I could go home, eat and rest. My stomach was growling from hunger and my whole entire body was exhausted from the lack of sleep I got last night due to eating Christy's meatloaf which resulted in me being face first in a toilet bowl all night.

A part of me felt like I should go and try and find Billy but another part of me told me not to bother. Bodie tried to give me this bullshit story that Billy loves me too much to put me in the trouble he's about to create, especially now that I'm pregnant with his child... but frankly I think that was just Bodie's bullshit excuse for Billy.

"So, Amber. You're new here, right?" The man asked.

"You know my name?" I asked, taken back slightly.

He smirked and pointed lazily at my name tag on my shirt. I sighed loudly as I glanced down at my shirt, feeling like even more of an idiot. I nodded and smiled again, feeling even more awkward than I already did.

"I've only been here a few months." I told him truthfully, "I guess this is home now."

"Boston's not that bad..." He laughed faintly, "But there's definitely better places to be living."

"No shit." I giggled, wiping down the counter. "What's your name?"

"Charlie." He replied, holding his hand out for me to shake.

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared down at his hand before taking it into my own and shaking his hand. I couldn't figure out why this guy was still here, ordering coffee after coffee just visiting with me even after his breakfast was done. I enjoyed his company, he seemed genuinely nice and was super easy to talk to. He liked the same music as I did, enjoys the same kind of movies, thinks pizza totally counts as food group. He's just... nice.

"Could I get another cup of coffee?" He asked sweetly.

Before I could even realize what was happening, we were in his apartment and making out. Billy Squier's "The Stroke" blasted through the speakers of the stereo system across the room. My legs were wrapped around Charlie's waist and my fingers were intertwined with his blonde locks. He slammed me up against the wall in his livingroom, kissing along my neck roughly, his facial hair tickling my skin.

A moan escaped my lips as he carried me over to his bed and placed me down before standing up and smirking down at me as he removed his shirt up over his head and tossed it across the room. I bit my bottom lip and motioned him to come to me with my pointer finger. He chuckled slyly as he grabbed my by my hips and pulled me down towards the end of the bed where he then proceeded to pull my pants off and run his cold hands up my legs and in between my thighs.

"Holy fuck!" I gasped as he pulled my thong down in one swift movement and slammed inside of me.

"Charlie!" I cried out.

"You fucking like that, baby?" He asked in between pants.

"Harder!" I screamed, clawing my nails into his back.

He growled and thrusted into me harder and faster than before, gently placing his hand around my throat making my toes curl and my eyes almost roll in the back of my head. I stared up at Charlie and let my mouth fall agape as he continued to slam in and out of me. He gritted his teeth before lowering himself down and kissing me roughly, his tongue caressing my bottom lip for entrance.

A thin layer of sweat coated our bodies as we switched positions. My moans and screams became louder and louder as we went on. The headboard slammed into the wall as Charlie slammed into me. My hair was a total mess but Charlie didn't seem to care as he placed on hand on my hip and used his other hand to grab a handful of my hair. He pulled me up roughly by my hair so that my back was against his chest as he continued to rock into me.

"You fucking like that?" He hissed, biting my shoulder.

"Fuck YES!" I whimpered.

"...Amber?" Charlie asked, awakening me from my thoughts.

I shook my head and my eyes widened, realizing that I was actually still standing behind the counter of the diner and staring at Charlie awkwardly. He pursed his lips trying to hide a goofy smile that was trying it's hardest to appear on his face. The cook was standing beside me, staring at me between squinted eyes, shaking his head at what he had just heard.

"I'll get you another cup of coffee sir, sorry for my co worker here... She's a little... nuts." He said, glaring at me as he walked by.

"I-I-" My voice cracked.

"Sounds like you get excited over coffee, huh?" He chuckled.

For the first time in my life, I was actually unable to speak. I've never been so mortified in my life. The cook, named Bob, suddenly was standing next to me again with a cup of coffee in his hands. He shook his head at me again as he placed the cup of black coffee down in front of Charlie.

"Get your shit together, Amber." Bob whispered to me as he brushed past me and headed back into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Charlie... I just... uh. Didn't get enough sleep, I somehow zoned out there." I explained, wincing.

Charlie smiled at me as he held up his cup to his lips and sipped his hot coffee, all while staring at me. "You're cute, it's alright."

I blushed again, "Cute?"

"Yeah, you're cute." He replied with a smirk.

"Are we twelve?" I retorted, cracking a smirk myself.

"Fine, fine." He held up his hands, "You're beautiful."

"Why, thank you." I smiled warmly. "That's a bit better." I winked.

"What's it gonna take to get someone as beautiful as you to go for dinner with me, tomorrow night?" Charlie asked smoothly.

I pursed my lips and thought about it for a moment before a growl from my stomach gave me a rude reminder that I'm pregnant and have absolutely no business flirting with any guy for that matter, especially since I'm still madly in love with Billy... even if he's not with me, anymore...

Sighing, I ran my hand through my freshly dyed dark hair and frowned, "I can't."

"Can't or won't?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow at my response.

"Can't... or I would." I murmured, staring down at his cup of coffee.

"Come on, you're missing out!" Charlie exclaimed. "There's a wicked pizza parlour not too far from here. We can stuff our faces with any kind of pizza you like and I'll take you to whatever movie you want afterwards. "I won't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, I promise. You just look like someone who could use a night out."

"Yeah." I chuckled faintly raising my eyebrows and staring down at the ground.

"Hey, worse case scenario you have a shitty time and never call me back. But at least you get all the pizza you can eat and a movie out of it." Charlie added. "Come on Amber, what's your number?"

"Ten."

"Ten?" Charlie asked, scrunching his brow in confusion.

"Ten is the number of weeks pregnant I am. 500 is the amount of money I owe to my roommate for rent this week to sleep on her couch. $39 is how much is in my bank account. 1 is the number of parents my child will have when he or she is born." I explained.

"778-5086." I stated. "That's my phone number. But... with all the numbers I just laid on you, I'm gonna assume 0 is the amount of times you're gonna be calling."

Charlie's expression dropped and he stared down at his hands for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet, grabbing an $100 bill and placing it down on the counter and standing up off of his stool. He stood tall, straightening out his back and leaning his head back to stare at me, like he was trying to figure something out about me.

"For the overpriced breakfast and coffees, the rest is your tip. I'll pick you up here tomorrow night at 6." He stated coolly, winking at me before walking away.

I sighed loudly and smirked as I watched him walk out of the diner.

Image

"You actually did it?" Matt asked Charlie who had just climbed into the passenger seat of the black SUV of Syn's.

"I told you two that you're weak and pathetic. Beating on two helpless girls? Disgusting." Charlie spat, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. "We're gonna get Billy Darley, but we're gonna take everything from him first."

"So you're gonna fuck his girlfriend?" Matt asked from the backseat, placing his infamous aviator sunglasses back on his face.

"You bet I am." Charlie chuckled, exhaling smoke from his mouth. "She's knocked up though."

"Billy's gonna be a fuckin' dad?" Syn asked, glancing over at Charlie from the road straight ahead.

"Apparently." Charlie replied, letting more smoke exit from his mouth.

"I almost feel bad..." Syn smirked. "Wait, nope. No I don't. I hope you fuck her brains out."

"So you're gonna fuck his pregnant girlfriend?" Matt asked, laughing hysterically in the backseat.

"What could hurt Billy more than having the only one who loves him, love someone else? Especially me." Charlie replied, a sly smile forming across his lips.

"You ain't gonna hurt her afterwards are ya?-"

"Like you two fucks already did?" Charlie snapped. "No, of course not."

"She wasn't pregnant when we did that..." Matt grumbled in defence.

"Still a fucking scum thing to do, even for you two." Charlie hissed, rolling his eyes and sucking back on his cigarette.

Before Matt or Syn could say anything else, Charlie's cellphone went off in the pocket of his hoodie. Charlie groaned, rolling his eyes in annoyance as he stared at the screen of his phone and reluctantly held it up to his ear, pulling the cigarette out from between his lips.

"Speak." Charlie commanded into the phone.

"Ch-Ch-Charlie?!" Zack stuttered on the other end.

"What?" Charlie hissed, flicking ashes off his cigarette out the window.

"Johnny's... dead."

"...What?" Charlie said in a low tone.

"I-I- I just found him... we-we all, just... found him." Zack stuttered. "There's a knife stabbed into his fuckin' chest, Charlie. Holding a fucking piece of paper with a number written on it."

"What's the number?" Charlie asked, firmly.

Zack pushed past two other B-street members and winced as he knelt down in front of Johnny's dead body so that he could get a better look at the number written on the piece of paper held up by a hunting knife stabbed into his chest. Zack cleared his throat, "555-0128."

Charlie immediately hung up the phone and motioned Syn to pull the vehicle over. Charlie's breathing was heavy and his jaw was tight as he dialled the number that Zack had just read off to him. Charlie pursed his lips and slowly held the phone up to his ear, counting every ring.

The ringing stopped but nobody said anything on the other line, instead all Charlie could hear was something exhaling smoke out of their mouth into the receiver of the phone. Charlie knew exactly who it was... Billy Darley.

"Where are you, you coward." Charlie said calmly.

"You wanna send me a reward for taking care of some of your shitty employees?" Billy asked lowly on the other end.

Charlie licked his lips and swallowed hard, "You tell me where THE FUCK YOU ARE RIGHT NOW" He screamed, losing his cool, making Matt and Syn jump in their seats.

"No, I'll tell you where the fuck you are. You're in my fucking end of the sewer now buddy." Billy retorted, "I say who lives, I say who dies." Billy stated loudly.

Charlie's blood was boiling and the cigarette between his fingers had now fallen out the window from lack of concentration. "You mother fuck-"

"So you better get that through your fuckin' skull, cause there's no more warnings." Billy threatened. "I'm coming for some fuckin' family time."

Charlie chuckled, "You listen to me, Billy, and you listen to me clearly. You go near... my family... and I will cut out your God damn guts like I did your fucking friend!"

Billy didn't answer which made Charlie even more livid, "DO YOU HEAR ME?" Charlie screamed into the phone.

"He wasn't my friend." Billy finally replied, "He was my brother."

Charlie licked his lips and stared at Syn and Matt, forgetting that Joe was in fact Billy's little brother. "Wait, Billy. You might not want to do anything more rash, I know about your pretty little gir-" Charlie tried to speak but was interrupted by Billy.

"And now I'm coming for the rest of your brothers, Charlie. You just bought them a death sentence, mother fucker."


	30. Chapter 29

"Why are we using the truck today, Billy?" Baggy asked as he jumped into the passenger seat of the pick up truck that Billy had picked up from Bone's body shop.

Billy started the truck and pulled the shifter down into drive and sniffled, staring at Jamie and Tommy in the backseat through the rear-view mirror, "We got some shit to get today that won't fit in the car."

"We moving your stuff into your new place, Billy?" Tommy asked from the backseat.

"Not yet." Billy replied sharply.

Little did I know that Billy had just got a small yet spacious 4 bedroom, 3 level house. Unfortunately the house was still located in Billy's side of town, inner city Boston... but it's probably better now that no one knows where he lives, especially since he's started a war with B-street.

"The mall?" Jamie asked, chuckling slightly as he stared out the window.

"Fuck yeah, I'm starving. I'm goin' to the food court." Baggy chimed excitedly.

"Ya ain't goin' to the fuckin food court yet. I need ya help." Billy hissed, parking the truck in a parking spot that was fairly close to the mall entrance.

"We robbing a store?" Tommy asked as him and Jamie got out of the back seat and stared at Billy.

Billy closed his eyes and sighed an aggravated sigh, "No..."

Billy glanced around the parking lot at all the people and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. He flicked his cigarette butt onto the ground and pulled off Joe's leather jacket, carefully tossing it into the back seat of the truck. Billy now looked like he blended in a little bit better as he was wearing dark blue jeans, a black long sleeve shirt with a dark grey t-shirt over top.

"What are we doing then?" Baggy asked, taking one last drag off his cigarette.

"Shopping." Billy grunted, leading them across the parking lot and to the mall entrance sliding doors.

Billy's eyes narrowed into a squint as he glanced around the busy mall, looking for one store in particular. His eyes finally landed on the store he was looking for, there it was... in big bright red lit up lettering "Babies 'R' Us". Billy glanced at his boys and motioned for them to follow him.

A young mom with bright blonde hair, pushing a stroller and wearing a short jean skirt, walked out of the store Billy and his boys were heading towards. She blushed multiple shades of pink as she made eye contact with Billy. Billy smirked at her, noticing how she was blushing as he walked by her. Baggy and Jamie pursed their lips and glanced over their shoulders to check out the girl's ass as they walked past her.

"Her face is redder than my dick was after sleeping with Jamie's mom." Baggy stated.

"Fuck off." Jamie growled at Baggy, shoving him slightly.

"I have that effect on women." Billy declared proudly as he stepped foot into the store.

Loud obnoxious music was playing throughout the store and pregnant women with children running around crowded the isles. Baggy and Jamie glanced around the store, a disgusted maybe even awkward look appeared on both of their faces as they realized what store they were in. Billy placed his hand on the back of his neck and groaned, trying to figure out what part of the store he should look at first.

"Babies r us? what the fuck are we doin' here?" Tommy asked, reading the sign from outside the store.

Billy spun around and looked at him, "The fuck do you think we're here for?"

"Shouldn't this be something you and Amber do together?" Baggy asked, "None of us know what the fuck to buy here."

"Well," Billy started, raising his eyebrows in annoyance, "Amber's clearly not fuckin' here so we're fuckin' doin it."

Jamie glared at Tommy and Baggy, giving them the 'shut the fuck up' look. Billy shook his head at his boys and grabbed a shopping cart, awkwardly pushing it through the store. Dad's and their kids stared at Billy and his boys, mostly on their shaved heads and tribal tattoos along their arms and necks, while mothers on the other hand, stared at Billy and drooled over him as he walked by.

A short and petite middle aged woman jumped out in front of Billy's cart and smiled widely at him, not seeming to be uncomfortable around him or the rest of his boys, "Welcome! You boys look like you could use a friendly helping happy hand!"

Billy's expression dropped and blinked a few times dully, "Yeah..."

Billy glanced back at his boys, glaring at them as they snickered and tried to keep themselves from busting out laughing. Jamie nudged Baggy in the arm with his elbow, pointing at a breast pump. Baggy tilted his head to the side and examined the breast pump. Tommy picked it up and put it up to his chest and stuck his tongue out. Billy sighed at how immature they were.

"Well, my names Cassanda and I'll be glad to help you sir! You look like a first time daddy!" She exclaimed. Billy nodded and pushed the car behind her, following her down the isle. "How old is baby?!"

"Not born yet." Billy muttered.

"Oh! An expecting father, fantastic! What do you all have for baby already?" She asked.

"Nothing." Billy shrugged. "I need a crib."

"Yes you definitely do! You're in luck too! We have this fantastic sale going on!! A crib and matching change table for 50% off. Fantastic!" She chimed, leading them to where cribs were set up beautifully. "And don't get me started on the beautiful crib bedding sets we just got in! Sheets, blankets, bumper pads and of course a matching mobile for the crib to go with whatever theme you pick. Do you know what you're having?"

Billy shook his head, slightly overwhelmed, "No not yet. So somethin' goes for either or."

"Fantastic! We have beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous gender neutral crib sets. OH my goodness you are going to be in awe, right this way sir!" She directed, leading Billy from the cribs over to look at crib bedding. "What theme were you thinking of going with, sir?!"

"...Anything. Surprise me." Billy replied.

"You're not really into this kind of stuff are you, sir? Well... That's quite all right because you are in perfect hands with me, I am going to find you the most beautiful crib and change table, gorgeous crib bedding, bumper pads and mobile and of course... whatever else you need for your little bundle of joy! This will be fantastic!" She reassured Billy.

"Yeah don't worry Billy, It'll be faaaaaantastic." Baggy mocked the saleswoman.

Image

"You're seriously doing this...?" Christy questioned me as Megan curled my hair for me.

I nodded, taking a sip of my juice before answering, "It's pizza and a movie. It's not 'jump in his bed and roll around'."

"Like you did with Billy?" Christy and Megan both asked at the same time.

I frowned, "Speaking of which..."

"He hasn't been to the bar in awhile..." Christy trailed off, staring down at her freshly painted toe nails. "I don't really know what he's up to lately... I heard he moved out of his apartment."

"Oh..." I mumbled, tracing my finger along the lip of the glass. "Any B-street problems?"

"Not that I know of." Christy sighed, "Nobody has said what Billy plans to do with them."

"Whatever it is, it won't be good. I can guarantee that." Jack joined in, making his way past the bathroom that we were all sitting in and heading back towards him and Meg's room.

"I'm so glad that whatever happened that night between you and Billy... convinced Jack to get out of that game. I mean, besides the bad stuff that happened to you... whatever it was, it made Jack quit." Megan babbled.

I chewed on my nails nervously, "Yeah, I agree."

"Everything is going to be okay, Amb. We're all gonna save our money together and rent a house. You, me, Christy and Jack will be one big ol' family and help you raise that little bebe growing inside of your belly." Megan assured me, patting me on the shoulder.

"Fucking rights we are!" Christy exclaimed cheerfully.

"I love you guys... you're both like sisters to me. More important to me than my actual sisters." I muttered.

"Hey, what are friends for?" Megan asked, curling the last strand of my hair.

I sighed loudly, "What do you think Billy's really up to?"

"Don't bother dwelling on it. He's a fucking dead beat loser who's too busy selling drugs and living life in the fast lane to realize what's standing in front of him." Christy hissed.

Megan snorted in disbelief, "No shit. His nose is probably stuffed with cocaine right now and he's probably plowing some slut on the hood of his car as we speak."

"You're probably right." I agreed reluctantly. "He doesn't love me or this baby. God, I fucking hate him."

"We hate him too, don't worry. Oh well, let's not talk about him right now! He can have fun selling drugs for his tub of guts dad, you on the other hand - have a date in an hour! So let's get this makeup on you and get you to the diner." Christy smiled.

"Why are you meeting him at the diner? that's kind of fucking weird." Megan asked, cocking an eyebrow up at me as she appeared in front of me, an eyeshadow pallet in one hand and a makeup brush in the other. "Close your eyes."

"He called me this morning and said it's just easier to meet there. Hopefully he doesn't stand me up." I groaned.

"Is he cute?" Meg asked, blending the eyeshadow on one of my lids.

"So cute..." I whined.

"Well then lets make you look super cute. Maybe you'll have a new baby daddy." Megan teased, making me roll my eyes. "Hey! Careful, I'm trying to do winged eyeliner."

"Just... cheer up, okay? Try and have a good time... for the both of us." Christy sighed, placing her hand over mine.

"You sure you don't want me to stay home with you tonight?" I frowned.

"Nah..." Christy shrugged, "I'll pick you up at the diner when you're done your little date thing and we'll go get icecream or something afterwards."

"You sure, Chris?" I pressed, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be fine. Believe me, I'll be good. Meg and Jack are gonna be home to keep me company, so I'll be okay." Christy reassured me. "So go have a good time! Seriously, you deserve it."

"Andddddd, done!" Megan announced, standing up straight and grabbing me by my chin, turning my head from side to side so here and Christy could admire Meg's work.

"Let's go pick you out an outfit." Christy said, pulling me up to my feet.

Even though I was busy getting ready to go out on a "date", I still couldn't help but think of Billy... he's been on the back of my mind all day. Megan and Christy are probably right though. Right now he's probably high or drunk, selling drugs for Bones or fucking some trashy slut from The Four Roses.

Reminding myself about that makes it easier for me to get over Billy.

Image

"This shit's heavy!" Baggy grunted, carrying the large brown box with the crib that was yet to be built - inside.

"Quit your bitchin'." Billy demanded, walking past Baggy into his new home.

"Where do you want all this stuff, Billy?" Tommy asked, following Billy inside with bags of baby stuff in his hands.

"Just set it here for now. I'll deal with it later." Billy responded, watching as Baggy, Jamie and Tommy brought in all the baby stuff that Billy had purchased today.

"All right man." Baggy said as him and the others carefully set down the crib box, change table box and all the bags full of baby stuff down on the floor. "You sure you don't need help setting this shit up?"

"Nah, thanks." Billy replied shortly. "Guys did good, I appreciate it. Take the night off - Bodie, Heco, Spink and Dog can take over tonight."

"Shit, fuckin eh, thanks Billy." Tommy exclaimed.

"I'm gonna go fuck Ramona once she's off shift, then." Baggy stated, smirking.

"You wanna come to the Four Roses?" Jamie asked.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, "Nah... I'll meet you guys at Bones's shop tomorrow sometime."

"Whatd'ya think she's doing right now?" Jamie asked carefully, trying not to set Billy off.

"Dunno. Whatever it is, it's safer for her and my kid, for her to hate me right now." Billy stated truthfully.

Baggy frowned, "Alright man... take care. We'll catch ya in the mornin."

Billy stayed where he was, pulling out his cigarettes from his back jeans pocket and sighing as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack and placed it between his lips. Billy flipped open his lighter and lit the end of his cigarette as he made his way upstairs.

Billy exhaled a shaky breathe as he walked into an empty bedroom, glancing around and thinking about everything that was going on. He missed his brother - clearly. He wasn't sure how to feel for his mother's death, she wasn't a mother to him anyway. He was stressed about staying on Bones's good side. Stressed about what he was going to do with Charlie and the rest of B-street. But he was especially worried about me. Wondering if he made the right choice, pushing me away for my own safety.

Billy didn't want his child to be born in a world like this. His kid - regardless of it being his - didn't deserve to be born into a life like the one Billy leads. Billy's a lot of things, but he's not like Bones and her certainly wouldn't ever raise his child the way Bones 'raised' him and Joe.

It was eating at Billy, knowing that I hate him and I'm thinking that he wants nothing to do with me or his kid when in reality he does... and he's only not around because it's better for mine and the baby's safety. Plus, Billy has a reputation to hold, an ego to feed.

Billy ripped the cigarette out between his lips and ran his free hand over his head and groaned, "Fuck."


	31. chapter 30

Even though I haven't gained any weight yet... I still feel uncomfortable standing here all dressed up just to go for pizza and a movie with an insanely cute guy that I met at the diner I work at. Wow, that sounds worse each time I say it in my head. I mean, afterall, I am a pregnant woman who just recently broke up with my ex gang leader boyfriend. Yup, there it is. I'm white trash.

Okay, maybe I'm not white trash but seriously, what the hell am I doing right now? This guy might just have a weird hard on for pregnant women. I don't know if that's actually a thing but I'm pretty sure it's probably a category under some porn site. Mmm sexy. Pregnant tattooed brunette... Totally every guys fantasy.

Screw this, I'm going home.

"Amber?" Charlie called out from behind me, causing me to stop from walking away.

"Hey... There you are..." I chuckled nervously.

"Sorry that took so long, had some things to do." He smiled.

I shrugged, "No worries, I'm surprised you even showed up."

"Why's that?"

"Well," I paused, glancing at him as we began to walk along the side walk together. "I am pregnant, after all..."

"I know."

"You're okay with that?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Is this some type of weird fetish because I am not about that life." I stated boldly.

Charlie chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, "No, Amber. It's not a weird fetish. I just think you're gorgeous, couldn't pass up the chance to take you out. Pregnant or not."

My cheeks flushed fifty shades of pink and I felt my hands become clammy. Charlie just stared at me in amusement as we made our way to a nearby restaurant. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I was being watched for the longest time. I tried my hardest not to appear obvious every time that I would check over my shoulder, expecting to see a black mustang with red tribal markings... but I knew deep down that wouldn't be a possibility at this point.

"You weren't kidding when you said 'all you can eat'." I nodded towards the sign outside of the restaurant that read 'all you can eat'.

Charlie shrugged, "You wanna go somewhere else?"

"No, this is fine." I replied with a small smile. "Pizza is bae."

"Bae?" Charlie cocked an eyebrow up.

"You know? Like 'babe' but er... internet like." I winced.

"Why not just say babe then?" Charlie asked.

"Well, then it's not cool..." I replied dully.

Charlie laughed as he held the door open for me, "I suppose that's a fair enough answer."

My mouth fell agape and my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach as my eyes scanned the busy restaurant, landing on Baggy and Ramona sitting at a table in the far left corner of the room. It was like time slowed right down as I watched Charlie ask for a table all while Ramona slowly looked up from her menu and over at me. Baggy must have caught her gaze because he slowly raised his head up to look at Ramona before slowly turning his head to see what it was she was looking at weirdly.

Gulping, I grabbed Charlie by the wrist and spun him around, leading him out of the restaurant as fast as I possibly could. Once we were outside, I dropped his arm and paced around the parking lot, hoping to God that Baggy hadn't just seen me with another guy, especially pregnant while I'm pregnant with his leader's child.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked, a face full of concern.

I winced, "I really.. uh... I-"

"You feeling okay? The baby okay?" Charlie asked.

Taken back slightly, I stared at Charlie and slightly tilted my head to the side, "Yeah, yeah everything's fine... thanks for asking. I uh, just, uh... do you maybe wanna go to your place or something?"

Charlie's eyes widened slightly - taken back himself at my request, "Yeah, for sure. You sure you're alright?"

"I just suddenly don't feel like being around crowds... I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I understand." He replied with a warming smile, wrapping one of his arms around my lower back and leading me towards a taxi nearby waiting for someone to call for it, "I'm a pretty good cook and I got movies at my place."

Nodding, I smiled up at Charlie. Unlike me, he was dressed casual wearing a black baseball cap, a blue plaid button up shirt, jeans and white skate shoes. Me on the other hand, I was wearing a red tank top, a black pencil skirt and black six inch heels - only because Christy and Megan convinced me to or I probably would have worn jeans and a hoodie... it's fall after all and I'm already kind of cold.

Once inside the back seat of the taxi, Charlie gave the driver his address and we drove off. Once the restaurant that had Ramona and Baggy inside, was out of sight, my anxiety disappeared almost instantly and I no longer felt sick. Charlie and I were actually having a decent conversation, mostly about what kind of movies we both liked which turned out we actually both liked horror movies so we both decided we'd watching something from his collection that I was dying to look through.

It's strange how comfortable I feel with him. I don't feel nervous, I don't feel like he's going to pressure me into anything that I don't want to do. I just, I don't know. I like him already, I can already tell. But of course every time the thought of liking Charlie flashes through my mind, Billy Darley appears and there I go all over again, thinking about Billy. I can't help but think about him, wonder how he's doing or who he's doing... I miss him. Hell, I love him.

But I also can't pass up opportunities for mine and my child's well being, chasing after Billy and the life that he leads. I'm not saying Charlie will be around for long, or if he'll even be around after tonight... but I also can't sit at home and waste life away.

"Was that Amber?" Baggy asked Ramona as they stepped outside, watching the taxi that Charlie and I were in - drive off.

"You bet it was. Who was that?" Ramona replied, referring to Charlie.

"I didn't get a look at his face. All I saw was the backside of him as she dragged him out of the place. What'd he look like?" Baggy asked, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it.

Ramona shrugged, "He kind of looked like Billy.... if Billy had hair. It looked longer, at least past his ears - mid neck. I don't know what colour it was cause of the hat he was wearing. I didn't see any tattoos or-"

"Alright, Alright. Fuck, I get it." Baggy hissed, pulling out his phone from his back pocket and dialling a number. "She's knocked up and with some dude? Fuck I wish I would have seen his face, I might have known who he was."

"So? Her and Billy aren't together." Ramona cocked an eyebrow.

Baggy began to laugh in a muffled tone caused from the burning cigarette dangling between his lips, "We'll see how long they're not together for when Billy hears this."

"Who are you calling?" Ramona asked in annoyance.

"Whod'ya think?" Baggy replied, putting the phone up to his ear. "Billy, yeah. Where you at?"

"Baggy..." Ramona sighed loudly, running her fingers through her hair.

"You ain't gonna like what I just witnessed, man..." 

Image

"Are you kidding me? Planet Terror was the best from the Grindhouse saga!" I exclaimed, adjusting myself on my knees in front of his bookshelf full of DVD's.

Charlie shook his head, "No way. The stripper with the machine gun leg fighting off zombies? Death Proof takes the cake over that."

"A psychopath in a car who gets a sexual thrill from killing girls with his car? Over a go-go dancer with a machine gun leg...." I asked in disbelief.

"Hey! Death Proof is a Quentin Tarantino classic. Get with the times." Charlie replied, plopping down on his couch and sprawling out, his head resting on the arm rest.

"I'll agree with you on that. But come on, go-go dancer and a machine gun leg... how much sexier can something get?" I asked, looking at him from over my shoulder as I decided against watching a movie and just pressing play on the nearby surround sound/docking station.

"You look in a mirror much?" Charlie asked smoothly as Alice Cooper's "Eighteen" began to play throughout the room.

I smirked as I slowly stood up, "That was smooth."

"I'm a smooth guy." Charlie retorted as I sat down on the edge of the couch, his legs behind me.

I glanced down at him and rolled my eyes, "Are you?"

Charlie pulled his legs up, sitting up properly and close to me as possible. I watched as his eyes scanned my face, often catching my gaze. A lump formed in my throat as I noticed his eyes staring down at my lips. I bit my bottom lip nervously as Charlie opened his mouth but no words came out.

"I'm a bad guy, actually." He admitted, finally speaking.

I exhaled a shaky breathe, "You can't be worse than what I'm use to."

"What if someone was planning on doing something bad in order to hurt somebody else and their feelings? But now that someone can't go through with it?" Charlie asked, making me confused.

"W-What?"

"That someone doesn't want hurt anyone anymore." Charlie said in a low tone.

Still confused, I cleared my throat and stared at Charlie in the eyes, "Then don't."

Charlie placed his hand on the side of my neck, his thumb caressing my cheek and jaw line gently. I blinked absent-mindedly and watched his every move.

"I'm pregnant, Charlie. I just got out of a relationship that I'm still having a hard time getting over. I don't need you coming in my life if you're just going to hurt me." I whispered.

"I'd never hurt you, Amber. Give me a chance and I'll make sure no one can ever hurt you again." Charlie replied softly.

"I get the feeling you say whatever you can to get what you want."

"I'm serious, Amber."

"Are you a bad guy, Charlie?"

"Yeah... I am."

"Don't waste my time, Charlie."

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to."

"Why's that?"

"There's something about you, Amber."

"Prove it."

Charlie swallowed hard before closing the small space off between us by placing his lips against mine. I shut my eyes and kissed him back, placing my hands on each side of his neck. Charlie kissed me softly, something I wasn't use to. His left hand rested on my bare knee while his right hand snaked it's way through my hair and against the back of my head, pulling my face closer towards his - initially deepening the kiss.

Slowly, Charlie laid down on his back bringing me down with him so that I was laying flat on top of him, still making out with him. My skirt was now hiked up my thighs, just barely covering my ass. Charlie's hands roamed down my sides all the way down to my exposed thighs, resting there. We continued to make-out, neither of seeming to doing anything more than that, which I respected because I don't think I could have sex with anyone right now, even if I was able to.

Meanwhile Billy and his boys, including Jack - behind Megan's back - sat at an unfamiliar strip joint with Bones discussing "branching out the business" by getting into gun trafficking.

"Just somethin' to think about." Bones hissed in a hushed whisper at Billy.

"Ya already selling guns without serial numbers at your shop." Billy replied dully, not feeling the idea.

"Petty ass fucking shit." Bones growled, "Only you fucks and the rare hood rat gangster buy those. I'm talking big guns, for big guys... big money."

Billy pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, nodding slightly and staring down at the burning cigarette between his fingers. Bones narrowed his eyes into a glare at Billy before standing up slowly.

"I knew you fucks weren't worth much more than selling crank, heroin and blow on the streets." Bones growled in a hushed whisper, trying not to raise attention. "If I get into this in the next year, you mother fuckers are gonna be on board with it."

Billy nodded slowly, not really paying attention to what his father was saying. Instead Billy was watching the live band, watching the drummer hit the symbols on his drum-set every so often as the band started to play a cover of Alice Cooper's "Eighteen."

"For now, you best keep doing what I expect from you... and fuckin' pay me." Was the last thing Bones said before waddling his fat ass out of the bar.

"That's some heavy shit he wants us to get into." Bodie mumbled, throwing back a shot.

Billy pressed his fist against his mouth, his hands together and elbows on the table, staring off into space - just listening to the music, "It won't happen."

"Ya sure?" Jamie asked carefully.

Billy's eyes shifted over to Jamie, "Not now anyway."

"Money's money." Heco piped up. "Money over everything." Heco added, chuckling to himself, clearly drunk and high as a fucking kite.

"How fuckin' high are you?" Baggy hissed.

"This is a game we don't ever get out of Jack, unless we're leaving in body bags." Tommy explained to Jack.

"Once you're in, you're in." Dog joined in.

Jack nodded, "I know."

Billy didn't say anything else, instead he just continued to watch the live band play "Eighteen". Billy was zoned right out, thinking about me and what Baggy had told him earlier. His blood started to boil whenever he let himself think about it, knowing his pregnant love of his life was 'hanging around' some other guy. Billy wasn't going to let that slide and the only thing that kept Billy from losing his shit right now was the fact that he had to focus on keeping Bones paid all while trying to go after B-street.

Back at Charlies, I was standing outside of his place waiting for Christy to pick me up.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you home?" Charlie asked, his arm wrapped around my lower back.

"I'm sure, my best friend wanted me to call her when I was done so that we could go get icecream." I explained, feeling stupid slightly.

"Sounds fun." Charlie smirked, staring down at me and kissing my forehead playfully.

Charlie and I only made out, he didn't try anything or force me to do anything else. I actually enjoyed myself tonight. When we did finally stop making out, Charlie threw in a movie and a pizza in the oven. Then we spent the next two hours watching Planet Terror and eating pizza together, we even cuddled a little bit.

"There she is." I stated, pointing at Christy's car that had just pulled up. "Thanks for tonight, Charlie."

"Thank you, darlin'." He replied, winking slightly.

I rolled my eyes and giggled, "Text me?"

"Nah."

"O-okay then..."

"I'm kidding, Amber. Jesus." Charlie chuckled, giving me a quick hug, "You better hurry, your friend seems impatient."

"Goodnight, Charlie." I said softly, pulling away from him.

"Night, Amb." He replied.

I smiled before walking down the driveway and quickly climbing into the passenger seat of Christy's car. Christy took her foot off the break and drove off pretty fast, breaking hard at the stop sign at the end of the street. My eyes widened and I reached out, gripping the dash to prevent myself from slamming up against it.

"What the fuck?!" I exclaimed.

Christy turned her head and glared at me, "Did you fuck him?"

"What?! No." I hissed. "Jesus Christ, I'm pregnant."

"Then what happened to your lipstick?" Christy asked suspiciously.

"It came off, clearly. We ate pizza." I replied, sitting back in my seat.

"Mhmmm..." Christy mumbled.

"I didn't fuck him." I said firmly. "....I did kiss him though."

Christy sighed, rolling her eyes and letting out a faint laugh, "He is cute..."

"Isn't he?"

"So is Billy." Christy jabbed at me.

I swallowed hard and sighed, "You're the one who convinced me to do this."

"I know I did... but come on, Amber. You're pregnant with Billy's kiddo... you can't just go riding dick like your at a rodeo." Christy replied.

"I'm going to pretend I understood that." I mumbled, staring out the window.

"You know what I mean... take shit slowly. You have a baby growing inside you to think of... if this guy is worth it, then he'll understand and take things slow with you." Christy lectured.

"Where did this wisdom suddenly come from?" I asked, staring at Christy with a shit eating grin.

"It's always been there... just was blinded by all the coke." Christy giggled, making me laugh as well. "Ugh... I fucking miss Joe..."

"I know... me too." I whispered softly, staring down at my knees.

Image

"Did you fuck her?" Matt asked, handing Charlie a beer.

Charlie pursed his lips, thinking about his answer for a moment - knowing he had to lie to cover himself, "You know it."

"You gotta get that bitch hooked. Record that shit and send it to him as a 'fuck you', that'll bring him right to us." Matt said before taking a sip of his beer.

"He'll come to us anyway." Charlie spat.

Matt sighed, "Yeah but this is just to spite the mother fucker. Not like this bitch matters, anyway."

Charlie nodded slowly, "Yeah.."

"So treat her like shit, fuck her brains out, record it and we'll find a way to get the video to Billy." Matt continued.

"I ain't playin' these fuckin' games. I want Darley and his gang and I'm gonna do it with bullets, not some fuckin video of me fucking his girl." Charlie said firmly. "This, this is why.... I'm now the leader, because you're weak minded."

"Jesus man... she must suck dick pretty good that you're not down with-"

"I'm not down with stupidity. He's coming and we need to be prepared, not fucking around." Charlie said sternly.

"You're right..." Matt sighed in defeat, drinking his beer as Charlie pulled out his phone and began to text.

Get home safe after your icecream, beautiful. xo

Charlie smiled to himself for a moment before sliding his phone back into his pocket.

"I got a feeling shit is gonna go down soon, man." Matt sighed.

Charlie nodded slowly, staring down at the floor, "Darley ain't gonna stop until we're all dead."


	32. chapter 31

"So you really didn't have sex with Charlie?" Christy pressed, pulling into a empty parking space in front of an ice cream parlour.

I sighed loudly and turned my head to look at her, "No, for the last time. I just kissed him."

"Okay! Okay! Fine. I'll stop, I just had to be sure..." Christy murmured, digging into her purse.

"Way to question everything I do!" I hissed in annoyance.

Christy shrugged as she opened her wallet, still not looking up at me, "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife over night."

"Clearly." I grumbled.

"Fuck..." Christy mumbled. "I forgot to get my money from Sammy."

"I'll pay for you, let's just go in." I replied, staring at her with wide eyes.

"No... he promised me cash." Christy explained, pausing and wincing as we finally made eye contact. "Do you mind if we go... or do you want me to drop you off at home first....?"

"Fuck that, I can handle going there with you. I'll stay in the car." I assured her.

"But what if-"

"I don't care. I'll be in the car."

Christy sighed in defeat, "Okay... I promise it'll be a quick in and out."

I exhaled a shaky breathe and sat back in my seat. Christy could clearly tell that this was a risky thing to do, bringing me around the Four Roses when there's a 50/50 chance Billy is there right now. Christy put her key back in the ignition and started her shit rocket, glancing at me as she put the car in reverse and slowly backed out of the parking space before peeling off.

My mind was all over the place, my heart was pounding against my chest and I felt extremely nervous as I rested the side of my face against the window, noticing the familiar buildings outside, telling me that we were getting closer and closer to the Four Roses.

An empty feeling came over me as Christy slowly pulled in the parking lot, parking as far away from the doors as she could. My eyes scanned all of the parked cars, landing on Billy's. Gulping, I turned my attention away from the car and just stared out my window, staring at a random piece of trash blowing in the wind.

Christy winced as she turned the car off, turning in her seat and staring at me awkwardly, "I'll be quick."

"I'm fine." I reassured her.

Christy nodded and placed her hand on the door handle, "Five minutes, tops. I promise."

"Go." I insisted, watching as Christy scrambled to get out of the car and watching as she jogged across the parking lot and headed inside of the bar.

Sucking my teeth, I pursed my lips and stared down at my freshly painted red nails. Who was I becoming? Any other time my nails would be short and chewed from my nervousness and coated with chipped black nail polish. I ran my tongue across the inside of my bottom lip, feeling the scar tissue of where my snake bite lip rings use to be before pressing my tongue against the inside of my cheek and pulling down the visor to stare at myself. The girl looking back at me was someone I wasn't sure I recognized.

I was stronger now than I was when I first moved here - both physically and mentally. My black locks were now lightened to a brunette colour, my lip rings gone and my makeup done properly and not dark as I use to do it. Not only has my appearance changed... but so has my life.

Sighing to myself, I closed the visor and stared out the window. My eyes instantly landed on Jennifer and Billy. My blood boiled and my eyes narrowed into a cold, hard glare. Billy appeared to have just walked out from inside the bar to grab another pack of cigarettes from inside of his car when Jennifer climbed her skanky ass out of her piece of shit car and immediately rushing over to Billy.

My mouth fell agape as I watched her stare up at him with lustful eyes, placing her stupid hands on the sides of his neck. The worst part of it all, he didn't push her away or seem bothered by what she was doing. Instead he nodded towards the bar doors, motioning for her to follow him inside. She giggled and wrapped her arms around one of his own and followed him inside the bar.

Nothing but pure rage coursed it's way through my veins, making me see nothing but red. Gritting my teeth, I struggled to unbuckle my seatbelt, throwing it back behind my shoulder before yanking open the car door. Normally, I would have shivered from how cold it was out right now but my adrenaline had me feeling like I just dragged myself up from hell.

Pausing, I stopped and took a couple of deep breaths.

"What am I doing? I don't care about Billy anymore... I don't want anything to do with Billy anymore..." I whispered to myself, unaware of how strange I must have looked talking to myself.

"I'm gonna fucking kill that bitch." I declared, storming across the parking lot towards the bar doors, my heels clicking against the pavement as I did so.

I took one last deep breath before slamming the side of my body up against the bar doors, sending them flying open. The typical rock music playing throughout the bar was loud as usual, cigarette and marijuana smoke lingered throughout the bar and I could hear people who noticed me come in whisper to the person beside them. My eyes scanned the area, landing on Jennifer just as she was getting up from her chair that was beside where Billy was sitting at the table him and his boys always sit at.

Clenching my jaw, I balled my hands into fists and took long struts towards Jennifer who was just about to lean down and whisper something to Billy. Bodie and Heco were the first to notice me, both of their eyes widening and mouths falling agape as my arm extended and I grabbed a handful of Jennifer's make bleach blonde hair, spinning her around and pulling my right arm back and slamming my fist against her face.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jennifer cried out in pain, pressing two of her fingers against her now bleeding lip.

That was all she was able to say before I punched her in the face again. Unlike the first time when me and her fought and I only hit her in the chin, this time I was hitting her square in the face, surely going to break her nose if I keep hitting her dead center of her ugly face. Jennifer tried to grab my arms and push me back away from her but all that did was make me angrier.

"I fucking told you!" I screamed, grabbing her by her hair again and throwing her down to the floor. "STAY. THE. FUCK. AWAY. FROM. HIM"

"What the fuck is going on?!" Sammy roared as he rushed out of his office to see what all the commotion was all about.

Everything happened so fast that Billy finally had just realized what just took place in front of him. His eyes shot up and landed on me. Jennifer slowly tried to push herself back up but I retaliated by kicking her in the chest, sending her flying back down, my heel flying off and under the table as I did so.

"YOU STUPID CUNT!" Jennifer screamed as I hunched over and punched her one more time in the side of the head.

Suddenly I was picked up off of my feet and carried out of the bar so fast that my head almost spun. I glanced down at the arm that was wrapped around my waist, seeing all the familiar black tribal tattoos.

"PUT ME DOWN!" I screamed like a child, flailing in his grip, kicking my legs up like a three year old having a tantrum.

Surprisingly Billy did exactly just what I asked, placing me down on my feet. I winced as a sharp rock cut the bottom of my bare left foot, remembering that I was now only wearing one high heel. My one knee bent and the leg that had no shoe was straight, I looked stupid. My tank top had been pulled out from being neatly tucked under my black pencil skirt.

"The fuck are ya doin'? You're pregnant." Billy hissed.

"Oh fuck off! You didn't care about me being pregnant a month ago when you screamed at me and shoved me around!" I shouted back.

My lip began to quiver as I watched Billy stand there with an emotionless facial expression. He didn't seem mad at me for what I had just done, he didn't seem happy to see me after all this time, didn't seem fazed that I was crying, he didn't appear to be anything besides empty. He wasn't the smart ass, moody Billy that I had fallen in love with. Now he was someone else, revamped by tragedy and cold as the only motive he appeared to have was revenge.

Tears ran down my face, probably bringing mascara with it. He just stood there, staring at me blankly as if I wasn't even there. A lump formed in my throat, my mouth became dry, my body was trembling in anger and he didn't care at all. I know I'm not innocent - given the fact I just got back from making out with Charlie at his house - but I was genuinely hurt over catching Billy with Jennifer. Not that they were doing anything besides drinking, but given our past - I'm pissed. Clearly the feelings I thought I no longer felt for Billy... were still there.

"I'm pregnant with your... BABY!" I howled, ugly crying. "You piece of shit!" I spat, gasping for air from bawling so hard.

"HOW COULD YOU TREAT ME HOW YOU DID THE NIGHT I TOLD YOU?!"

I pounded on Billy's chest, bawling uncontrollably as he tried to wrap his arms around me. I was surprised he was allowing me to hit him as much as I was, "You liar! You said, you.. you said you protect what's yours!" I sobbed dramatically, refraining from hitting him anymore and instead just falling against his chest in defeat.

"I'm sorry about that, Amber. But... that happened because I'm no longer who I use to be." Billy stated calmly.

Growling in annoyance, I pushed myself back away from him, "YOU'RE A LYING PIECE OF SHIT! You can't keep making excuses! YOU SAID YOU'D ALWAYS PROT-"

"I AM!" Billy roared, silencing me mid-sentence.

His nostrils were flared, his chest was heaving in and out and to say that he looked pissed off would be an understatement. At least he was finally showing some sort of emotion. Sniffling, I carelessly wiped away running mascara and stared at him in disbelief, shaking my head slightly.

"HOW?!" I screamed, "You're too busy hanging around with that fucking whore!"

Billy raised his eyebrows as he let out a laugh of disbelieve, "From what I hear, you're up in her category. Does this guy Baggy saw you with, know that you're pregnant and fuckin' him?"

My jaw clenched and without realizing what I was doing, I brought my arm up and slapped Billy across the face as hard as I could. Billy narrowed his eyes, face stricken with rage as he lunged for me, grabbing my upper arm roughly and pulling me against his chest.

"You wanna fuckin' know why I ain't going around you?" He asked in a harsh, hushed whisper. "I stabbed one of the mother fuckers who killed Joe, in the chest a few days ago. You know why I stabbed him? Because they killed the only family I had left."

"They started a war that I'm going to finish." Billy stated firmly. "You and my kid are the only ones I have left, use your fucking head once in awhile and you'd realize why I'm keeping you out of sight." He added, releasing the grip he had around my arm and shoving me back away from his slightly.

"It's for your own good, you stupid bitch."

"But I love you." I sniffled. "Why do you have to do this?! You could get ki-"

"THIS IS MY FUCKING BUSINESS." He screamed, spit flying from the corners of his mouth. "They're all gonna fuckin' pay."

He snorted hard, clicking his jaw to the side, "This is the life I live. It's never gonna change."

"Please Billy... we could go away... we could leave this life." I cried pathetically.

"We could start new..."

Billy became tense, sighing loudly before making eye contact with me, "I can't."

"Well..." I whispered, staring down at my one heel and my one shoeless foot, "I can't wait around to find out if you live through this or not.... I'm sorry."

Billy nodded slowly and placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling our foreheads together. I shut my eyes and let the tears flow freely from the corners of my eyes. I felt Billy gently kiss my forehead before resting his forehead against mine again, "I love ya more than anything."

Sniffling, I stared up at him and shook my head, "Not enough to leave this life for me though..."

Billy sighed through his nose and frowned, "I told ya that ya weren't cut out to be involved in this life."

"I guess you were right...." I whispered softly.

Billy pressed his tongue against his cheek before cupping my face and crashing his lips against mine roughly, kissing me as if he was never going to get the chance to ever kiss me again. Little did I know it was because tomorrow is the day him and his boys going after one of B-street's members. Tommy had found out where one of them work during the day, giving Billy and his boys that window they needed.

"Amber?! What the hell?! Did she hurt you?! What the fuck were you thinking?!" Christy scolded, storming out of the bar.

"-How dumb can you be?" Christy asked, before noticing Billy standing in front of me.

Billy glanced at me for a moment before staring over at Christy and nodding his head up at her, acknowledging her presence. She folded her arms across her chest uncomfortably, trying her hardest not to look him in the eye as he stepped back away from me and casually walked back towards the bar entrance.

My world felt like it had just been turned upside down. As soon as I heard the bar doors slammed behind Billy, I instantly buried my face in my hands and started to cry hysterically. Christy had to wrap her arms around me and lead me to her car.

I've never experienced heartbreak before, but I'd imagine this is what it feels like.


	33. chapter 32

You know that feeling you get deep down inside when you're so upset that you constantly feel sick, lifeless and numb? That's what I've been feeling since I left The Four Roses last night. Nothing but pure emotional agony. I'd find myself spending most of my nights wide awake, staring up at Christy's bedroom ceiling while Christy tossed and turned beside me. Luckily for me she was nice enough to let me sleep in her bed with her instead of sleeping on that uncomfortable pull out couch. Megan and Jack offered to take it back and give me my old room but I decided against it.

I didn't know what it was that I even craved deep inside. Part of me wanted to go after Billy and explain to him that beside him through whatever it is he's doing and "protecting" me from, while another part of me wanted to see where things go with Charlie - even if that's ludicrous, given the fact that I'm knocked up.

Christy was still hurting over Joe, even though she acts like everything's okay. I often hear her sobbing beside me late at night while she thinks I'm asleep. Sometimes when I'm cleaning, I find photos of Joe and her. Then there's those times when she thinks she's the only one home and I hear her sobbing on the floor of her bedroom, squeezing her knees and looking at the framed photo of her and Joe that sits on her bedside table.

Jack's still working for Billy behind Megan's back. I don't think Megan realizes the sad truth that Jack's only way out is if he goes home in a body bag. That's the thing with gangs or "brotherhood"... Once you're in, you're in for good. Megan has to be one of the coolest yet utterly oblivious people I've ever met. She goes to work thinking Jack goes to random "gigs" even though he probably hasn't picked up a guitar once since meeting Billy.

Nothing that has ever happened in my life - including having my own parents practically disown me - hurts as bad as this. I feel pathetic and weak, sick and tired. Besides going to work, I never leave the house. I don't respond to any texts besides Christy's and Megan's to see what I want for dinner or if I'm okay while they're both out working. I'm surprised Charlie even still tries to text me with the lack of responses and that I haven't seen him since the night him and I made out... Which is probably for the best.

I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

Three loud knocks interrupted me from my thoughts. Sighing, I reluctantly pushed myself up from the couch and slowly made my way over to the front door. Given my past experiences with opening this door, I cautiously peeked through the peep-hole and frowned when I saw Charlie standing on the other side.

"Hold on." I breathed, unlocking the door and holding it open slightly, "Hey..."

"Amber, hey... you alright?" Charlie asked with a concern filled expression.

I shrugged, "I've been better... h-how did you find out where I live?"

"I have my ways." He replied with a sly smirk.

Unimpressed and clear about it, I rolled my eyes, "That's not something you tell someone like me."

"I'm kidding, Amber. I ran into your friend Christy at a convenience store. I recognized her and her car from the night she picked you up from my place..." Charlie explained followed by a sigh, "Turns out I'm not the only one who's worried about you... she told me where I could find you."

"You didn't think to stop by the diner at all?" I asked in an annoyed tone.

Charlie shrugged, "Tried. You weren't working whenever I went in."

"Yeah..." I started, staring down at my feet, "I've been working early shifts, done before noon.. it's nice."

"Look, I'm worried about you... You don't answer my calls or texts..." Charlie sighed, resting his left arm above his head against the door frame.

"I've just had a lot on my mind, I'm sorry." I apologized dully. "Most guys don't usually go out of their way to check up on a pregnant chick... in fact, no guys do that."

"I'm not like most guys."

"They all say that."

"But I actually mean it." Charlie replied shortly.

I ran my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip absent-mindedly. Maybe he's not kidding? maybe he really is the real deal. Why should I waste my time being depressed and missing Billy - someone who clearly doesn't even love me enough, let alone his own child enough to change his lifestyle for. Maybe this is my destiny or maybe this is something I need to do for the time being.

"All I'm asking for is a chance." Charlie stated, staring me directly in the eyes.

"I give too many of those out." I stated sharply, making Charlie raise his brows.

"Maybe it's time you start giving them to the right people."

There was a long awkward pause between the two of us as I waited for him to say something because I sure as hell had nothing else to say. Charlie dropped his arm down to his side and stood tall, slightly leaning his head back to look me over.

"You hungry?" Charlie asked, catching me completely off guard.

"I'm always hungry." I admitted, opening the door wide enough for him to walk in.

"I'll order chinese food." Charlie stated/asked.

"You really are something else, aren't you?" I giggled, plopping back down on the couch with Charlie following.

Charlie smirked as he pulled out his cellphone, "I like to think so."

Image

Billy and his boys had found themselves in a parking garage chasing after two members of B-street gang: Zack and Syn. Billy had sent Tommy up to the very top level of the parking garage only minutes ago while Billy and a few others searched the level they were on for Zack and Syn. It wasn't until pieces of a white metal railing dropped down from the main level before Billy realized what was going on.

It was like everything in Billy's world slowed right down as him and three of his boys ran towards the end of the parking garage to see what was going on. A red car slowly fell from the top level, crashing down to the ground on top of van, flipping around a few times before it came to a halt. Billy watched as the car hit the ground, making a a huge crashing sound as it did so. Inside the car was Tommy and Syn, both now dead. Billy gritted his teeth as he looked up, knowing that B-street had just caused another one of Billy's boys to die from the top level of the parking garage. But before Billy could do anything, not even so much as speak, the sound of police sirens off in the distance rang through his ears.

"Billy... Billy.. we gotta go man.." Baggy said nervously as he nudged Billy's arm. The sound of sirens were stressing Baggy out and making him nervous. "Billy we gotta get the fuck out of here!"

Billy's chest heaved in and out and his nostrils flared as he tightened his jaw. Jamie grabbed Billy by the arm and pulled him back.

"Come on... let's go. COME ON!" Baggy screamed as Jamie pulled Billy back a little bit more before Billy finally gave in and took off.

Once they were out of sight and heading back towards Billy's car, Billy exhaled an aggravated breathe through his nose as he pulled out his cellphone and began to call Heco.

"We got em, Billy!" Heco exclaimed on the other end. "Where do you want him?"

"Under the bridge in a half an hour." Billy instructed firmly before pulling the phone away from his ear and roughly shoving his phone back into one of his pockets.

Image

"His eyes are opening. He's awake. Billy, he's awake." Heco exclaimed, nudging Billy on the arm to get his attention.

Billy slowly removed the cigarette that dangled between his lips and flicked it to the gravel ground. He sniffled roughly before turning his attention over to Zack who was tied to an old, broken computer chair. The sun was just setting now, the sky orange and red. They were all under the bridge that Billy typically sells for Bones under. Even though it was out in the open, it was secluded as no one ever comes around this area unless they're looking for drugs.

Zack had been clubbed over the head with something of a blunt force, his wound on the side of his head still bleeding. Billy raised his hands up to rub his own temples in circular motion as he pondered what exactly he was going to ask Zack and most of all, what he was going to do with the scumbag.

Bodie glanced over at Billy waiting for Billy to give him some type of command. Billy just pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and arched a brow at Bodie. Bodie frowned and shook his head slightly before glancing over at Baggy and nodding up at him. Baggy obviously knew what to do with that because he then took the initiative to remove the bandanna that was used to shut Zack up - from around his mouth.

Zack coughed loudly before staring up at Billy. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were narrowed into a cold, hateful glare, "You, mother fucker..."

"Did ya have a good fuckin' snooze?" Billy asked, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows and approaching Zack.

"Charlie is going to kill you, all of these mother fuckers behind you, and then he's gonna kill that bitch-" Was all Zack was able to say before Billy's fist met the side of his jaw, causing a cracking sound.

Zack spat out dark red blood and glared up at Billy, "You don't even have a clue... do you? you kill me and-"

"If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna cut something off." Billy threatened, nodding down at Zack's hands that were tied down to the arms of the chair with each finger spaced out and held down with duct tape.

Zack chuckled evilly, "Fuck you."

Billy shrugged, "I see you driving around in that fancy caddy of yours. Gonna be hard to do when you have no hands."

"Where's Charlie and Matt?" Baggy asked.

"I ain't telling you shit." Zack hissed.

"Pliers." Billy said, holding out his hand.

Jack gulped and stared at Heco who nodded slowly before Jack winced and placed the pliers in the palm of Billy's hand. Billy took hold of Zack's left pointer finger and snapped it backwards. Jack gagged at the cracking sound of Zack's finger and a sick feeling churned around in his stomach as he watched Billy fight to cut Zack's finger off. The way Zack was hollowing and the blood that was practically spraying out as the finger detached from his hand was enough to make Jack sick. In fact, Jack hunched over and puked his guts out - not even caring that everyone besides Billy was laughing at him.

"STOP! I'LL TALK!" Zack screamed in agony.

"Where the fuck is Charlie and Matt?" Billy seethed.

Zack hung his head in shame, "Just kill me."

"Well, what finger are we gonna lose now?" Billy asked sedistically, grabbing Zack's ring finger and snapping it back.

"I can't fuckin' deal with this. I'm gonna be sick..." Jack groaned, taking a step back away.

Heco stared down at Jack's puddle of puke, "You mean sick again? pussy."

Zack was howling and screaming in the background as Billy ripped another one of his fingers off. Most of the guys were use to this kind of thing while Jack was still adjusting to the life style he had got himself into. Blood was pooling at the end of the arm rests of the chair and two lonely detached fingers were on the ground, also surrounded by blood.

"5858 MAPLE AVE!" Zack cried out in defeat.

"Is that his house?" Billy asked calmly.

Zack nodded before gagging and puking on himself. Billy stood tall and exhaled an agitated sigh as he waited for Zack to stop throwing up. Zac spit out the remaining puke in his mouth and groaned loudly, leaning his head back in the chair and staring up at the sunset. His face was pale and dried tears stained his cheeks. His eyes were puffy and red and leftover vomit was on his chin.

"It's their family home... Charlie and Matt have been staying there while this shit between you two goes on." Zack explained in cracked tone.

"When do we do this?" Jamie asked, suddenly appearing next to Billy.

Billy pulled out his pistol and cocked it before answering, "Tomorrow night."

"N-No-NO please! NO!"

BANG

Image

Charlie and I had ordered Chinese food at my place and then ventured off to his place when it came close to the time Christy and Megan would be home. Lately I haven't been feeling well again because of all the stress and the fact that I'm pregnant so naturally I've been wearing less - if any makeup, barely doing anything with my hair and dressing comfortably. Currently I'm wearing black leggings that end halfway up my calves and a baggy pink hoodie. Definitely not sexy but you can imagine the fuck's I don't give.

We were now both inside of Charlie's bedroom and I was sitting cross legged on his bed, staring down at the random DVD case in front of me, "Kill Bill, another Tarantino classic."

Charlie smirked, "You and your Tarantino movies."

"He's a genius, what can I say?" I giggled, laying down on his bed.

Charlie smirked and took the dvd from me, kissing me on the cheek as he did so. I blushed and stared down at my hands as Charlie made his way over to his TV and began to put the movie in. Once the movie started Charlie plopped down on his bed beside me and soon after we began to cuddle. Now, I'm a sucker for someone playing with my hair. So when I found myself resting my head against Charlie's chest and he began running his fingers through my hair, I naturally fell asleep.

Once I was asleep, Charlie carefully moved my head to rest on one of his pillows so that he could slowly make his way off of the bed. He glanced back at me as he pulled out his cell phone and quietly snuck out of the bedroom and into the hallway where he began to dial Matt's number.

"Hey?" Charlie asked. "We're gonna have to move on this Darley shit faster."

Charlie cleared his throat as he listened to Matt's reply, glancing over at me sleeping soundly in his bed.

"Because he needs to be gone as soon as possible..." Charlie replied to Matt's question, "Because I think I'm falling for her.... Yeah, not kidding... she deserves a lot better than Darley."

Matt sighed on the other end but eventually agreed with his brother, "I'll be there in the morning and we'll talk more."

"Alright. See ya tomorrow." Charlie replied coolly proceeding by hanging up his phone and shoving it back into his pocket before making his way back into his room.

"W-what time is it?" I asked sleepily, reluctantly opening my eyes.

"It's only ten."

"Shit... I gotta get going." I replied, slowly pushing myself up into a sitting position.

"You don't work this weekend.... stay tonight and tomorrow night with me." Charlie insisted.

"But I don't have any pajama's..." I whined.

Charlie held up a finger and climbed back off of the bed and made his way over to his closet where he pulled a baggy t-shirt of his off of a clothes hanger and casually made his way back over to me and tossed it on my lap.

"Thank you." I frowned, "Are you sure you're okay with me staying with you?"

"Are you kidding?" He chuckled, laying back down on the bed beside me.

"No."

"Of course not, Amber."

"Close your eyes." I instructed as I stood up next to the bed and tugged at the ends of my hoodie.

When he closed his eyes I quickly used this time to pull my hoodie up over my head and take off my leggings. I bit my bottom lip nervously as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I still didn't look pregnant, thankfully. When I turned my attention away from the mirror, Charlie was standing beside me, causing me to jump slightly from being startled.

"Jesus." I swore, closing my eyes and sighing.

"Sorry." He whispered, placing one hand on my bare hip.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I stared up into Charlie's blue eyes and watched as he stared down at my mouth. Within seconds our mouths met and his right hand found it's way to the back of my neck, pulling my body close against his. Goose bumps formed along my skin as his left hand ran up my back. An almost unfamiliar feeling tingled inside of me as Charlie moved his mouth from mine down onto the dip of my neck.

A small whimper escaped from between my lips as he kissed the skin on my neck ever so gently. Closing my eyes, I moaned and my hands found the end of his shirt, pulling it up and causing Charlie to break away from my neck to remove his shirt revealing his toned muscular chest and stomach. He smirked smugly as he watched my eyes admire his bare upper body. He then crashed his lips over mine and his hands roamed my body again, the kiss deepening as his one hand roamed lower and lower to the front of my boy shorts.

"Fuck." I moaned against his lips as his hand slipped under the band of my underwear.

"You're wet." He stated seductively.

Well.. yeah, I mean... look at you. Or wait, look at me. What am I doing? I'm pregnant and about to fuck some incredibly good looking man... my kid's probably like 'hmm... what's my whore mother up to now?'... But I mean... Charlie... how can I not? Move over 50 shades of Grey and hello 50 shades of Charlie - except for the crazy sex swings and spanking and hitting and shit.. because lets be honest, if he ever hit me like that I'd probably punch his lights out.

"You okay?" Charlie asked, awakening me from my rambling thoughts.

"Huh? Oh.. y-yeah.." I whispered, feeling stupid for zoning out like that during the middle of something like this.

Since I felt stupid, I took the initiative to continue on by unzipping Charlie's pants and pushing them down. He raised his eyebrows at me but soon smirked as he led me down onto the bed and slowly pulled my boy shorts down my smooth, freshly shaved tanned legs. He placed his hands on my knees and spread my legs apart. I arched my back as Charlie's fingers entered me again, his eyes catching my gaze that I had on him while he moved his fingers in and out of me.

"I won't hurt you, I promise." He said in a low tone, pulling his hand away from me and replacing it with his manhood.

I gasped loudly and gripped his biceps as he moved in and out of me slow but hard. He placed one hand on the mattress beside my head and the other on my thigh, lifting one of my legs up to wrap around his waist and allow him to move deeper inside of me.

By now I couldn't control my moaning and since it's been so long, I knew I was close. My mouth rested on Charlie's shoulder as my finger nails clawed into the skin on his back while he picked up his pace. The room became hot and our bodies became coated with a thin layer of sweat.

A wave of guilt and sadness flushed through me as I stared up at the ceiling and imagined Billy. I don't know if I feel guilty for having sex with Charlie while I'm pregnant with Billy's child or because I'm imagining Billy while having sex with Charlie. Fuck Billy, seriously. I hate how we're over and done with and yet he's still ruining things for me. No, no more. Billy won't give up his fucked up life for me and his child, so I'm going to go with Charlie... a guy who seems to have his shit together, makes me laugh and treats me with respect. Done, boom. Decided.

Charlie grunted and slammed into me one last night before hitting his limit. His pace slowed right down as he rested his forehead against mine for a minute before kissing me softly on the lips.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?" Charlie asked, lifting his head back up to look over my face.

I swallowed hard and shook my head 'no', "I uh... I just... I'm pregnant Charlie... I don't know wha-"

"So? I like kids." Charlie cut me off with a huge smile.

I rolled my eyes and smiled as Charlie pulled out of me and handed me the t-shirt he gave me earlier. I immediately put it on and swung my legs over the edge of the bed and reached for my boy shorts, putting them back on. Charlie already had his boxers back up and was now pulling the blankets down for the both of us to get into bed.

"So much for Kill Bill." Charlie chuckled, laying down.

I giggled and climbed into bed beside him where he instantly wrapped an arm around me, "I'm not complaining."

I don't know what I'm doing anymore but for once I'm with the good guy.


	34. chapter 33

Charlie and I spent the following day literally laying in his bed and watching movies, eating junk and cuddling. Guilt still struck me as I cuddled up to Charlie, having my mind often wander - thinking about Billy and what and how he was doing. Why was he STILL on my mind? Especially now, when everything seems so calm and perfect. But yet something was so off, so unsettling to the point where I think I'm starting to have an anxiety attack over it.

Judging by the darkness outside Charlie's bedroom window, it was now late out. Charlie was yawning and I was oddly still wide awake. After all, we didn't leave this bed at all today unless we had to go to the bathroom or go downstairs to the kitchen to get food.

"I gotta piss." Charlie stated with a chuckle, sitting up in bed and smiling down at me.

"Then go to the bathroom." I giggled absent mindedly.

Charlie smirked at me and climbed out of bed, yawning as he made his way out of his bedroom. My stomach was aching with a random wave of nausea and I knew for a fact that I was going to be sick soon if I didn't do something to prevent it. When I was downstairs in the kitchen with Charlie earlier, I had noticed a bottle of gingerale and that appears to be my only option unless I want to projectile puke everywhere and see if Charlie still finds me attractive afterwards, yeah -- no.

Reluctantly, I got my skinny ass out of bed and slowly made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Christy had texted me at least a dozen times since yesterday and I figured I should probably reply to her finally. I texted her and told her I was alright. I didn't bother to read her texts as I was too busy on getting myself a glass and pouring some gingerale in it so that I could get rid of this God forsaken nausea.

The gingerale really was a life saviour, I felt almost better instantly. I sighed loudly and leaned against the counter in the kitchen, staring down at my phone screen as I finally started to read through all of Christy's texts. One text caught my eye and I found myself rereading it multiple times before realization finally sunk in. Christy had pretty much told me that Billy and the boys were going after B-street... she also informed me that the man I've spent the past two days with is. the. leader. of. B-street.

My knees buckled and ironically before I even had the chance to reply to her, my phone started to vibrate showing me that Christy was calling me.

Gulping, I slid my index finger across the screen before holding the phone up to my ear, "Hello?"

"Amber?! Jesus Christ, thank God. I'm coming to get you. You NEED to get the fuck out of that house, NOW." Christy shouted, her voice cracking from fear.

"CHARLIE IS MATT'S BROTHER." Christy screamed on the other end, "I ONLY FOUND OUT TONIGHT"

"Chris... You have to have the wro-" I was cut off by movement in the living room.

My phone fell out of my hand and my expression dropped as I stared at Matt standing in the living room with five other guys. He didn't notice me at first until a small whimper escaped my mouth. His eyes darted on me and the next thing I knew I was turning on one heel and bolting out of the kitchen towards the front door, not giving a single fuck about my phone or my purse upstairs.

"Megan and I have been trying to call Jack and Billy, no one is answering... that means they're on their way there. Amber, I'm on my way. Get out of that house, okay?! Hello?! AMBER?!" Christy shouted.

Christy had picked me up from Charlie's house the first night Charlie and I ever "hung" out together so she knew exactly where to go. But given the fact that Charlie lives on the richer part of Boston... she has quite a long drive to get to me.

In the meantime... I have to put my fear aside and get out of here alive. My mind instantly went to Billy... I need to call Billy. God... this is my fucking fault... my own, fucking, fault.

"Hey!" Matt yelped, lunging forward and grabbing me by my hoodie and pulling me back towards him before I could reach the door.

I let out a yelp and fought to get free from the grip he had on me. Matt wrapped his big, colourful tattooed arms around my arms and lifted me off of my feet and carried me back into the living room. My mind was racing, my body was shaking with a mixture of anger and fear. I had to think about more than just myself and think about protecting my unborn child.

"Calm the fuck down." Matt hissed in my ear, his lips touching my face as he spoke.

Grunting, I slithered my body down far enough to pull my left arm up and slam my elbow down into Matt's ribcage. He growled and loosened his grip around me enough so that I was able to make a run for it again. I ran, ran so fucking fast I felt like my legs were gonna kick up off the ground and fly my ass the fuck out of there. I darted into the kitchen, grabbing my phone off the floor and spun back around to run out of the kitchen but was blocked by Charlie.

"Amber... I know it looks bad..." Charlie started with a frown, moving closer towards me causing me to take two steps back away from him.

"Matt's my brother... and I can promise you... I had nothing to do with what his boys did to you and your friend." Charlie explained.

"That's suppose to make it better?" I exclaimed.

"This isn't to spite Billy, it's not... I do care about you. Matt's sorry, alright? Let's just calm down okay?" Charlie suggested, taking another careful step towards me as I stepped back, slamming into the counter top.

I gulped and nodded slowly as he touched my cheek, "No hard feelings, okay? Everything will be fine." Charlie said softly, staring into my petrified eyes.

As much as I wanted to kick him in the dick and make yet another run for it, I knew it wasn't a smart idea -- or a safe one for that matter. I had to play along with this and then get out of here the first chance I get, especially before Billy gets here.

"O-okay." I whimpered, reluctantly.

Charlie smiled and cupped my face in his hands before kissing me on the forehead, "Everything is going to be okay."

"I-I-I I know." I stuttered.

"You can trust us. However... we're gonna have to trust you, too." Charlie started, glancing back at Matt who was leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. "Give me your phone."

"Why?" I instantly asked.

"Just until you're calm down and understand everything. I'm not going to hurt you, everything is going to be okay." He repeated in a monotone.

Sighing, I handed him my phone and watched as he tossed it back to Matt who dropped it on the floor and stomped on it with his boot, crushing it... completely destroying it. I closed my eyes and exhaled a shaky breath, trying to keep my composure. The men standing in the living room stayed silent and just watched like helpless sheep.

"I'll get you a new one later." Charlie shrugged at Matt's actions. He looked back at me and frowned yet once again, slightly shaking his head in disbelief, "Don't look at me like that babe... I'm still the same person... you'll see."

"I know..." I whispered, trying to play it off like everything was okay. I cleared my throat and stared down at my feet, "You're who I want to be with... I, I can forget this all." I lied.

Charlie's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning, "I'm glad, baby."

He kissed my lips softly making me cringe at his touch. I'm a fucking idiot who deserves everything I get... but now I have to protect my unborn child and get my head straight for once in my fucking life.

I smiled a fake smile at Charlie as he slowly pulled away from me and returned the gesture. My hands were behind my back, feeling around the counter top for a knife that I had seen earlier when I was searching for gingerale. Of course, I couldn't find the fucking thing.

"We still have that movie to finish upst- What the FUCK?!" Charlie shouted, staring out the living room window where a black van had just pulled up in front of the house.

Before we could say or do anything else, a shotgun was fired from outside, blowing the doorknob off and a huge hole in the door causing it to fly wide open. I didn't even have time to blink, I was tackled down to the floor and covered by Charlie as Matt dove into the living room behind the couch, pulling out his pistol from the band of his pants.

"GO UPSTAIRS AND LOCK THE DOOR!" Charlie screamed at me, yanking me back up to my feet and shoving me roughly towards the stairs.

I had a chance to glance at the four men who had just blown a hole through the door and were now running into the lower part of the house as I ran upstairs. I knew right away it was Bodie, Heco, Jamie and Jack. I screamed as I noticed Dog and Baggy running towards me with their guns raised - not screaming because it was them - but screaming because of the gun shots I could hear going off in the living room. It was dark as hell in this house, barely any lights on except for the livingroom and kitchen but even those were now turned off, making me panic more because now Billy or his boys wouldn't recognize me in the dark and yeah, I'm probably going to die.

Baggy cocked his shotgun and I yelped, jumping off of five steps, rolling my ankle as I landed on the floor. I cried out in pain, and stared up in the direction of the livingroom and kitchen. There was broken furniture and glass everywhere, blood was pooling around a couple bodies. My world slowed right down as I turned my direction from the livingroom and into the kitchen where Spink was, beating on one of the B-street members. I wanted to fall to my knees and cry out in pain but instead I forced myself up and bolted down the hallway towards the back door. A normal person would scream out my name and tell them not to shoot but oh no, that'd be too smart for me. Now here I am, crippled and trying to make a break for it.

Warm tears were swelling up in the corners of my eyes with every step I took, applying pressure on my now throbbing ankle. The darkness wasn't helping but luckily for me, the back door had a glass window allowing moonlight to shine into the house, giving me just enough light to find my way down the long hallway.

"WE GOT HIM" Bodie shouted from the living room, making me gasp in fear and hurry towards the door.

Just as I reached the door, I was pulled back by my hair and my back was pressed against someone's chest and a hand covered my mouth to keep me from screaming. I shut my eyes, allowing tears to stream down my face from the sharp shooting pains going up my leg from the person grabbing me.

"Scream and I'll blow your fucking brains out." A familiar voice threatened in my ear.

Billy.

He pulled his hand away from my mouth and pressed the barrel of his pistol against the back of my head and cocked it, "Move."

"Don't shoot!" I squealed. I took a risky chance and spun around, "It's me."

Billy instantly lowered his gun as he heard my voice, and the moonlight shined on his face just enough for me to watch his facial expression drop from pure rage to shock. For the first time in all the time that I've known Billy - he was actually shocked. His eyes were wide and mouth was slightly hanging open.

I began to bawl uncontrollably, "Billy, it's me."


	35. chapter 34

Billy's appalled look on his face was quickly erased and replaced with fury yet once again. I stared up at him with red, puffy watery eyes -- afraid of what he might do next. He gritted his teeth and grabbed me by the upper arm, pulling me towards him so that our chests were pressed together. There was no doubt in my mind that Billy had put two and two together, realizing that Charlie was my 'mystery man'. I watched as he licked his lips to say something but no words were coming out. Instead he grunted and dragged me down the hallway back towards the livingroom where everything was going down.

A petty cry escaped my mouth as sharp pains from my twisted ankle reminded me of what had just happened. Billy snapped his head over to look at me, his eyes narrowed and showed no remorse for his boys pointing a gun at me and causing this to happen to my throbbing ankle.

Everything was a mess -- and not just my life -- but the house, the house had glass everywhere, furniture busted, holes blown through the wall leaving large holes, blood pooled around and there were bodies everywhere. My stomach churned at the sight in the livingroom, the bodies of B-street members laying there while Matt and Charlie were on their knees in front of Billy's boys who all had their guns pointed at Charlie and Matt's heads. Matt was bleeding horribly from his shoulder, telling me that he was shot. Charlie had sweat pouring down his forehead and his hair and shirt were a mess.

Nausea was setting in again and I was becoming light headed from the room spinning as Billy drug me further into the living room. Blood from someone's body tickled my bare feet almost making me faint but Billy just tightened his grip around my arm, holding me up as he stood infront of Matt and Charlie.

Despite the predicament Charlie was currently in, he still found a way to chuckle and shake his head up at Billy and I, "What's the matter Billy? Your pride a little sore? I killed your little brother and was 8 inches deep inside of your pregnant girl last night."

Suddenly I felt dirty, used and like a piece of trash. How could I have possibly allowed myself to conduct myself the way that I had? Especially while I was pregnant with another man's child. What the hell was going through my head thinking that I'd be able to just up and leave Billy and allow another man to raise Billy's child. It's clear as day, really... whether I like it or not, I am Billy Darley's. Billy knew - and I knew - that I am his. He's claimed me and I didn't realize it until right at this moment.

"Go strip the sheets off all the beds and search the house for any of Amber's belongings. Make sure there's no trace of her here." I heard Bodie whisper instructions to Jack and Heco.

Billy's never loved someone before, he's only fucked them and moved on to the next until I came around and somehow managed to take his cold heart into my own hands. I'd have to be naive to believe that Billy's pride would be pushed away just to let me be with whoever I wanted. I'm his and I'm only his - in his mind. Now that his pride has been humiliated in front of everyone, and the only women he's ever loved has fucked his enemy - the one who killed his baby brother - I don't know what will happen or what or who I've just created inside of Billy Darley.

Guilt flushed through me as I glanced up at Billy, watching as his jaw clenched at Charlie's words. Billy's boys all glanced at me with wide eyes, knowing that Billy's retaliation wasn't going to be pretty. Billy reached behind him with his free hand and pulled out the gun that was only pressed to my own head moments ago and without warning, shot Matt point blank in the head before tightening his grip on my arm - almost like he was forcing me to watch as he shot Charlie in the chest.

Without another thought, I began to scream horrifically as I watched Matt and Charlie's bodies fall limp on the floor. My knees buckled and I tried to fall to my knees but Billy forced me up and snorted loudly, his jaw still clenched as he put his gun back in his belt loop and drug me out of the living room, his boys following behind.

Given that they all just practically mass murdered another gang in a suburban neighbourhood, Billy's car was no where insight, instead a black van that I had noticed earlier was parked out front with a fake license plate on it. Without warning, I was shoved into the back of the van where everyone piled inside and the driver sped off. I was still bawling hysterically, gasping for air as I tried to calm myself down from what I had just witnessed. I've never seen someone die before, let alone be murdered right before my eyes.

I must have cried for a good whole 30 minutes before we were back in inner city Boston, Billy's side of town. The van came to a sudden, screeching halt and I was yanked up to my feet and drug out of the van over towards Billy's car. I stumbled over my own feet, howling louder than I was before as another sharp pain shot through my ankle.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I screamed, falling to my knees, almost pulling my arm out of it's socket as Billy still stood tall and held my arm.

He didn't say anything, just stared me down in disgust as he yanked me up to my feet, not even so much as flinching as he watched me cry out as I put weight on my ankle. He ripped open the passenger door on his car and surprisingly shoved me in carefully. He slammed the door shut once I was in and hurried around the car and climbed in on his side, immediately locking the doors so that I couldn't escape... not that I could even if I wanted to... I wouldn't get far with this swollen, twisted ankle.

Billy drove in silence but was clearly still fuming by how tight his grip was on the steering wheel. His knuckles were turning white and with his free hand he was lighting a cigarette. After a few minutes of complete silence, my sobbing finally came to an end as I processed what had just happened. I sniffled slightly as I rubbed my swollen eyes and stared out the window, resting my head against it.

"How long?" Billy broke the silence.

I didn't question what he meant, because I knew right away what just it was that he was asking me.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I continued to stare out the window as I opened my mouth to respond to his question, "Just yesterday."

"Ya fuckin' lucky you're carrying my kid." Billy threatened.

"Why?! So you could shoot me too?!" I spat.

Billy shot his attention over to me and gritted his teeth.

"I was going to call you right before you guys came in and started killing people. I didn't fucking know who he was. Do you think I'd have done this if I knew sooner?! You fucking idiot!" I shouted.

Billy's hand sprung from the steering wheel and I knew he was about to backhand me before he realized just who it was that he was about to hit. I flinched, shutting my eyes tight and waited to feel the familiar stinging sensation across my face that I had grown use to from Shane. When nothing happened, I slowly opened my eyes to see Billy's hand back on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly yet once again.

I sighed in relief and stared down at my hands awkwardly. God, I sure knew how to push his buttons. A normal person who just watched the love of their life, murder two people right infront of them - would shut her fucking mouth and do as she's told... but of course, not me... I had to keep it up.

"I'm leaving you!" I exclaimed, even though we were already not together. "I'm not letting my child grow up in a world like this!"

Billy laughed, "Like fuck you are."

"Watch me." I challenged sharply.

"I'd love to see you fucking try to take my kid anywhere." Billy threatened followed by a laugh of disbelief.

For the first time in a long time, I shut my God damn mouth.

My lip began to quiver and I found myself silently sobbing again as I turned and faced the window. For the rest of the drive to wherever it was that he was taking me, I remained silent. It didn't take long for me to realize that Billy was taking me to his 'new' house. I swallowed hard as he pulled up into a driveway. The grass was dead and long, needing to be mowed desperately. The house was three stories, nothing fancy but definitely wasn't a complete shack - surprisingly. With a little T.L.C, I think this place has potential... besides the fact it's located in the shittiest, roughest part of inner city Boston and there's crackheads and thugs roaming the street.

Mmm, lovely... definitely family orientated.

Billy climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Wincing, I was forced to help myself out of the car and stagger behind him as he led me up the driveway and over to the front door. I whimpered with every step, wishing that he'd help me but I knew better than to waste my breath. Billy glanced over his shoulder back at me as I slowly made my way up the front steps and stood face to face with him. His eyes burned right through me and his expression stayed cold before breaking the gaze we had on one another and unlocking the door.

"Deal with that ankle." He siad boldly as I followed him inside the house.

Billy didn't say anything else and just stomped up the stairs, leaving me standing at the front door like an idiot. I sighed loudly and shut the front door before holding onto the wall and making me way through the main floor of the house to the first room I could find, which to my advantage just so happened to be the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I flicked on the bathroom light and hopped over to the ledge of the bathtub where I sat down and stared down at my ankle, wondering what I was going to do. I mean, sure I could go and get some ice from the kitchen but frankly I feel safer and more comfortable in this secluded bathroom.

Gently, I touched my ankle and instantly regretted doing so. I carefully pushed myself up to stand and grabbed a face cloth and ran it under cool water from the sink. I let out a shuddery breath as I wiped away the tears from my face. This was my life now and I had to accept it... after all, I knew what I was getting into. I just never thought for a minute that Billy would do what he did infront of me - especially while I'm pregnant and an emotional mess - like he had tonight.

Tears started to pour out of my eyes as I mentally told myself to stop and be strong. I hunched over and tried to press the cool, damp rag against my ankle but somehow managed to tumble forward, nearly smacking my head off the toilet bowl. The tears streamed freely out of my eyes and down my raw, tear stained cheeks. I should have taken everyone's advice and stayed away... Surely I knew what Billy was really like but yet I still allowed myself to get involved. I have no one to blame but myself.

"Get up." I heard Billy say from the door way.

His cold, bitterness and lack of sympathy towards me only made me cry harder. When I didn't do as he said and instead just buried my face in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably, Billy grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up to my feet.

"Amber." He said my name firmly, trying to pull my hands away from my face.

I struggled against his touch, trying to get away from him. I began to cry out "No" repeatedly. Billy grunted and managed to pull my hands down from my face. He wrapped one arm around my back and used the other arm to scoop my legs up off the ground and carry me bridal style out of the bathroom and up the stairs. I didn't want to risk being dropped by Billy so I stopped fighting against him and just continued to cry like a helpless child as he kicked open a door and stepped in, placing me down on the bed. A bad that use to be our bed.

Sniffling, I stared up at Billy who was towering over me. His jaw was clenched, his eyes narrowed into a glare and his chest was heaving in and out. He raised his eyebrows and cracked a smug smirk, "Welcome home."

With that, he left the room. I listened to the sound of his footsteps making their way back downstairs and out the front door, slamming it shut behind him and locking it. I groaned as I listened to the sound of his car start and peel out of the driveway and down the street. I had no way to contact anyone or anything as Charlie had smashed my phone. I felt like a prisoner here... that was trapped to this stupid bed because of this stupid fucking ankle.

Sighing, I gathered my thoughts and drifted off into a deep sleep.

It wasn't until I heard an ambulance's siren go whipping by down the street that I woke up. I groaned and sat up in bed, taking in my surroundings realizing that this wasn't a bad dream after all and that it was in fact, all real and all currently happening. My mouth was dry and my lips were cracked, I swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my throat and glanced over at the nightstand seeing that I had passed out for a few hours.

Slowly and quietly, I forced myself out of bed and reluctantly applied weight to my ankle. To my surprise it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it had earlier. It probably wasn't even sprained to begin with, I was probably just being dramatic and of course, blowing it out of proportion. It still hurt like a cunt, however. So I was careful when I made my way over to the window and peaked out the blinds, seeing that Billy's car was still gone.

"Fuck...." I sighed, running my fingers through my messy, unwashed hair.

Curiosity got the best of me, leading me out of the bedroom and slowly down the hall. The first door I opened revealed an empty room. I frowned, shut the door and slowly made my way to the next door. I bit the inside of my cheek absent-mindedly as I turned the knob and opened the door. A gasp escaped my mouth as I stared at the room, definitely not expecting to see what I was seeing.

The room was painted a light, lime green. A cherry oak wood crib was set up with safari crib bedding and bumper pads, a safari mobile hung above the crib. Beside the crib was a matching cherry oak wood change table with a couple packs of diapers and a box of wipes underneath. A rocking chair was in the far corner of the room next to a pile of 'babies-r-us' shopping bags full of baby stuff.

My heart sunk to my stomach as I looked around the room in complete awe. Could a monster like Billy really be capable of something like this? Apparently so.

I made my way over to the rocking chair and sat down, running my hands under my shirt against my bare stomach. At a time like this, all I wanted to do was pick up my phone - but couldn't since it's smashed and who knows where it is - and call Christy or Meg... hell, I even have the strange urge to call my family... which, probably would be a bad idea so fuck that.

Fuck, everything I've been doing lately is a bad idea... what's one more mistake?


	36. chapter 35

Sighing, I stood up from the rocking chair and walked over to the crib, placing my hands on the railing and staring at the safari mobile. A faint smile cracked from the corners of my lips as I slightly spun the mobile and watched it spin around.

"I see you found the kid's lair." Billy's gruff voice called out from behind me.

Startled, I jumped back and stared over at him. He was leaning against the door frame and looked exhausted, pissed off and yet somewhat relieved. I looked around the room before staring down at my tattooed knuckles, awkwardly.

"You did this?" I asked, referring to the painted, set up baby room.

Billy nodded and shrugged, "Got bored."

"It's really beautiful, Billy."

Billy ignored my comment and slowly made his way into the room, standing next to me and staring down in the crib. I became tense and felt really uncomfortable standing next to him. I bit my bottom lip nervously, staring up at the wall that the crib was against, seeing a framed photo of Billy and Joe when they were much younger. Billy was probably 13 and Joe was probably around 7 or 8 in the photo. Billy had a head full of blonde hair and though he was so young in the photo, his face wore a look that showed he had already been through so much more than any normal 13 year old boy. Joe on the other hand had a huge goofy grin on his face and a teddy bear in his arms. My heart ached as I imagined two young boys with the childhood that they would have had with a father like Bones Darley.

He must have caught me staring at the photo because he frowned himself and reached in the crib, picking up the familiar teddy bear that Joe was holding in the photo. Billy smirked as he stared down at the old teddy bear, making me even crack a small smile.

"He never went anywhere without this fucking thing. I use to have to make sure it was in his backpack for school." Billy explained, shaking his head slightly. "Joey broke his arm and a nurse gave him that fuckin' bear. He loved it. Bones and Gemma thought it was stupid but it made him happy."

I was almost in shock that Billy was actually opening up to me about his childhood. It wasn't much to go on, but considering he's never ever mentioned his mother to me... this is well, huge?

"Gemma's your mother?" I stated more than I asked.

"Was."

"I'm sorry..."

"She overdosed on my birthday."

It all made sense now, why Billy was such an asshole to me the night of his birthday. I remember Joe coming over earlier that day and telling me that it was Billy's birthday - thankfully or I would have never have known - I remember us about to have sex just to be interrupted by his boys coming in without warning and telling Billy that Bones wanted to see him asap, and then of course I remember how Billy acted later on that night at The Four Roses.

"Lost her and Joey all in the same day." Billy shrugged coolly.

I didn't know what to say. My throat was suddenly sore and I was at a loss of words. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and comfort him but I know Billy well enough that he's not the type to vent about his feelings.

"I'm so sor-"

"Joey was her baby. He wasn't like me. He was better than me. Guess he didn't go alone." Billy stated dully, silencing me.

I placed my hand over Billy's to comfort him, watching as his back straightened out and how tense and tight his jaw became at my touch. It was clear he was uncomfortable with me touching him. I don't blame him though, really, I don't. I can't imagine what went through his head when he seen me there at his enemy's place. Pregnant to boot.

"All of my siblings are better than me." I started, trying so desperately to keep us talking. I miss him... I love him. "I was always having trouble in school, getting into trouble - doing things my sisters and brother would never do in a million years."

"My dad was strict and claimed he loved us all the same but... I just never... I don't know. My mom had a lot of mental issues too. She acts happy go lucky but I know deep down inside she's depressed and still fucked up from whatever happened to her in life. I couldn't wait to get out... I just, I don't know. Shane was my first ticket out of there and I took it, putting up with his abuse to avoid going back to my family and feeling like I don't belong there. Then when Christy moved here.... well, here I am." I finished.

I laughed in disbelief and shook my head, "The fucked up thing of it all? They'd probably try to pretend to care about me if they knew that I was pregnant. Like nothing ever happened..."

"They're ya family." Billy finally spoke.

"By blood, yeah... but... I consider Christy and everyone I've met here in Boston, more of a family than them." I replied in a whisper.

Billy raised his eyebrows, "A coke head and strangers."

"And you..." I whispered.

Billy and I both stared deep into each others eyes, our faces free from any sign of anger or sadness. I stared at Billy's mouth for a split second before standing up on my tip toes and placing my hands on each side of his neck. Our faces were only inches apart and I could feel his warm breathe against my face. Billy stared down at my lips and then back up at my eyes before placing an awkward kiss against my mouth. I closed my eyes and crashed my lips against his, feeling butterflies flutter around inside my stomach.

Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, Billy moved his lips from my own and began to kiss along my jaw line and down my neck. My eyes rested on a dark purple bruise on the side of Billy's neck that wasn't tattooed. My heart felt like it sunk to my ass and I suddenly felt the need to get sick.

"Is that a hickey?" I asked letting go of his neck and standing back flat down on my feet.

Billy stood tall, realizing what he had just allowed himself to give in to.

"Dunno. Probably." Billy replied coolly, tossing the teddy bear back in the crib.

"Are you leaving?" I asked sounding petty and pathetic. "Who gave you the hi-"

"Not your concern." Billy cut me off, walking over to the door, stopping and glancing back at me from over his shoulder, "Guess we're even now."

Image

Two weeks, two long... God forsaken weeks have passed and I finally got a new phone. Do you know how hard it is to live in this day and age without a phone? I felt like I was a fucking amish person. Billy is hardly ever home and when he is, he avoids me like the black plague. Christy and Meg come and visit me lots and usually one of Billy's boys are here "just cause" when in reality I know it's because Billy gets them to keep an eye out on me. Usually it's Jack though, so it's not bad, we play video games or he brings Megan and we have movie days.

I quit my job at the diner due to the fact that I met Charlie there and whenever I step foot in that diner, I imagine Charlie standing there and I instantly picture him being shot by Billy over and over again. So needless to say, I avoid that place or I end up power puking my guts out. Oh, and that too! I'm finally in my second trimester and it's now the end of October, which usually is my favourite time of year except this year for obvious reasons.

"No." I stated boldly.

"Awe come on Debby Downer, you have to dress up! It's Halloween!" Meg exclaimed, tossing a witch hat on my lap.

"Go as a pumpkin" Christy joked, standing out on the front steps having a cigarette.

"Fuck you." I grumbled as I got off of the couch and made my way over to the kitchen table and grabbing the carved pumpkin from it. "See any kids yet?" I asked, placing the pumpkin out on the step next to Christy.

"Just this group of kids." Christy replied, nodding towards four small children around a dumpster across the street.

I cocked an eyebrow at Christy, "What are they doin'?"

"How the fuck would I know? You know I don't like kids." Christy retorted, exhaling smoke from her mouth.

I rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat, "Grab the bowl of candy. These kids shouldn't be playing by a dumpster... where are their parents?"

"You're really asking that question? Look around... either drunk, high or just flat out don't care." Christy replied, staring at me like I was stunned.

I frowned, poor kids. Christy flicked her cigarette somewhere in the driveway and stepped back inside to grab the bowl of candy that I had purchased earlier today. I stayed where I was, watching the young kids gathered around the garbage can. They all had to be under 10 years old which made me sad because when we were young kids, my mom and dad made sure they took us trick or treating and if they couldn't, one of our friends's mom or dad would take us. I imagined Joe and Billy for a moment and I instantly felt worse. What a shit fucking life they were chosen for. They never had the choice, this was made for them and they grew accustom to it.

"Here." Christy awoke me from my thoughts, handing me the bowl of candy.

"What are we doin'?" Megan asked, stepping out on the steps with us.

I bit the inside of my cheek and shrugged, "Come on."

CHristy groaned as we made our way down the driveway and across the street where the group of kids were all gathered around a large dumpster. They all looked up at me with wide eyes and looked terrified. I smiled at them and crouched down beside what appeared to be the oldest kid to see what it was he was doing. My eyes narrowed as I noticed the small rottweiler puppy in a cardboard box in front of the dumpster with "free" sharpied on the box.

"Is this your dog?" I asked, finally speaking.

The kid shook his head, "No.. I wish. We just found him here, all alone."

I glanced up at Megan who looked upset and was pouting. I sighed and handed her the bowl of candy. She nodded and I sighed as I crouched back down next to the oldest kid and picked up the puppy. The puppy was shivering and nuzzled into the dip of my neck as I cuddled it.

"My dad would kill us if we brought him home... he's cold." The kid said, staring down at his hands.

"Here kids, everyone grab as much candy as you all want." Megan told everyone, holding out the bowl of candy.

"You live around here, kid?" I asked, still focusing on the puppy.

"Yeah, you're my neighbour." He replied pushing blonde bangs out of his eyes. "We named the puppy Chop."

"Chop?" I asked staring over at the kid. I pursed my lips in thought and nodded slowly, "I like Chop."

"Can you keep him? he can't stay out here." The kid asked with glossy eyes.

I frowned, "You're right... he can't stay out here."

My eyes scanned the area, seeing all the kids taking heaping handfuls of candy and eating some. Megan had a huge grin on her face and was talking to some of the kids while Christy stood there with her arms folded across her chest and a kid with a eye patch over one of his eyes stared up at her.

"What?" She hissed in annoyance.

The kid pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and looked up at her hair, "Are you suppose to be a warrior from Diablo?"

"What the fuck is Diablo?" Christy asked, not even caring that she just swore at the kid.

"Your hair."

"What about it?"

"The sides are shaved."

"Oh, good job Captain Obvious."

"I'm just saying... if you had a battle axe right now..."

"You know what kid? keep talking and I'll give you a reason to wear that eye patch permanently." Christy growled. "What are you even suppose to be?"

"I'm a pirate, duh." The kid scoffed.

"Cute. Real fuckin' cute." Christy sneered, turning her attention back over to me and the puppy.

I stared at Christy between squinted eyes, slightly shaking my head at her. She shrugged and gave me a disgusted look. Sighing, I turned my attention back over to the boy beside me who was staring at me with hopeful eyes.

"I'll keep him." I declared, making the kid crack a huge smile. "You can visit him whenever you want too... neighbour."

"Really?!" The kid exclaimed.

I nodded, "Yup. I'm sure Chop would like that."

"You're adopting him?" Megan squealed in excitement.

"Yup, I'm adopting him." I confirmed.

"Thanks lady, you're awesome." The boy smiled.

"Amber." I introduced myself, holding out my free hand.

The kid shook my hand and smiled, "I'm Billy."

My heart sunk and I swallowed a hard lump in my throat and nodded, "Well Billy... nice to meet you. I guess I'll be seeing you around."

"What?!" Christy hissed again behind me.

"I'm serious... the medieval barbarian." The kid agonized her.

"Scram, you little shit."

"Bye barbarian warrior!" The kid giggled as Christy stormed back towards my house.

I smirked as I watched Christy stormed inside of my house and slam the door shut behind her. Megan giggled and shook her head, slowly making her way back towards the house carrying the empty candy bowl. I nuzzled my face against Chop and stared down at Billy.

"I'll see you around, Billy."

"See you Amber, thanks again!"

"You kids be safe tonight, alright?" Was the last thing I said before I carried Chop over to my place.

For the rest of the evening, Christy and Megan and I all watched "scary" movies and ate left over candy that I never bothered to put in the candy bowl, and thank God too because being pregnant and mowing down on mini chocolate bars is like eating out a Goddess or something. I don't know. But, it's pretty fucking amazing.

Christy and Megan eventually left to go out to the clubs all dressed up as sexy witches while I sat here in an oversize baggy t-shirt, shorts, my large nerd glasses and my hair pulled up in a messy bun. They both were going to give up their night to spend with me but I insisted that they go and that I'll be fine. Which I was, I spent the rest of the night sitting in the living room chugging chocolate milk from the jug and eating chocolate bars while Chop enjoyed sausage I found in the fridge.

It didn't even cross my mind how Billy would take to Chop being here. I didn't really care to be honest, I'm bored and lonely. Billy's never here and when he is, he avoids me... so I guess Chop is my new boyfriend. Not that Billy was my boyfriend... er, I guess he's my ex boyfriend/child's father that I just so happen to live with while he's out fucking every whore that comes his way? Mmm, fantastic.

"Gotta have a poop, Chop?" I asked, picking him up from the pile of pillows I made him.

Even though it was late, nearly midnight, people were still outside walking the streets dressed up in gruesome looking costumes. It was mostly teenagers now in face masks, giving me an eerie feeling as I patiently waited for Chop to finish his business out on the lawn. I'd clean it up tomorrow morning when the sun is out as it's too creepy to be out here for longer than I need to be.

A shiver creeped it's way up my spine as I heard a familiar rumble making its way down the street. Quickly, I scooped up Chop into my arms and jogged back inside the house, making sure I locked the door behind me to avoid hearing a lecture from Billy about the door being unlocked when I'm here all alone. My heart was pounding against my chest, my hands were clammy and my throat was dry. I was so nervous yet excited to see him home finally.

Chop yelped as Billy's keep unlocked the door and he stepped inside. Chop leaped out of my arms and waddled his little legs over to Billy. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to pretend I was focusing on the T.V instead of watching Billy from the corner of my eye. Billy stared down at Chop and pulled the cigarette out from in between his lips, kneeling down and exhaling smoke from his mouth as he picked up Chop and made his way over to me.

"I see ya got a new friend." Billy stated the obvious.

"Yeah... I uh... was going to text you but uh... figured I shouldn't bother you." I explained nervously.

"What's it's name?" Billy asked, still not looking at me.

"Chop." I replied dully, staring down at my bare legs.

My hormones must be out of whack again because I could feel tears fighting to escape the corners of my eyes as I glanced up over at Billy, seeing that his neck was hicky free. I felt so weak and pathetic. He use to love me, in fact I know he did, but now it's like he wants to go out of his way to hurt my feelings and watch me suffer. I wish I wouldn't have done what I did with Charlie, but at the same time too... I didn't think Billy would even accept the baby... I don't know... I just wasn't thinking at all. I let lust get in the way of common sense. Now here I am, I deserve this.

"Gotta get bigger then ya have someone here to protect ya." Billy started dully.

"I guess..." I replied, taking another drink of chocolate milk from the jug, not caring that he was staring at me weirdly.

No shame to my mother fucking game.

"Amber?" Billy asked, making my knees tremble at the sound of my name leaving his lips.

"Yeah, Billy?" I asked, clearing my throat.

He sat Chop down on the couch in between the two of us and made eye contact with me for the first time in weeks, "Ya still love me?"


	37. chapter 36

"That's not something that's easy to answer." I replied firmly before clearing my throat, "for such a simple question."

"Ya either do or ya don't." Billy said in a gruff voice.

"Of course I do... without a doubt." I finally admitted. "I just..."

"What?"

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"Oh yeah?" Billy asked cynically, taking a long drag off of his cigarette and staring at me with icy eyes.

"You're going out of your way to hurt my feelings... I'm a fucking emotional wreck Billy. I'm going to turn into a fucking tub of guts here pretty soon and I'm living with you when you fucking despise me and I know for a fact you're fucking sluts like Jennifer." I babbled on, letting tears pour out of my eyes like a nut case.

"You're one to fuckin' talk. Actin' like a bitch in heat with my kid in ya." Billy hissed, exhaling smoke from his mouth.

"See! WHY are you like this?! Do you get off on seeing me suffer or something?"

Billy shrugged, "Gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough."

"Great, great. I can already see where this is going." I grumbled folding my arms across my chest and slouching back into the couch, looking away from Billy. "I don't know why I even bother."

"Why do ya?" Billy hissed, snapping his attention over to me.

"Because I love you! You're a complete cunt to me most of the time but there was a time when you showed me a side of YOU that NO ONE knows." I spat turning and looking at him.

"Did." Billy repeated, boldly.

"UGH!" I shouted, throwing my arms up in the air. "Fuck this, I'm going to bed."

"See ya." Billy smirked, watching as I jumped up from the couch and stormed over to the stairs.

My blood was boiling and my emotion changed from upset and bawling to furious and wanting nothing more than to turn around and punch him in his fucking face. I stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back around to face him. He narrowed his eyes at me, the typical cigarette dangling in between his lips. I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I thought about what I was going to say.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm all you got." I stated sternly.

He didn't even bother to say anything, he just stared off into space, sucking back on his cigarette. Closing my eyes, I sighed loudly and took my glasses off of my face and glanced over at Billy before frowning and heading up the stairs to 'our' bedroom.

I was too angry to go to sleep but I didn't want to be anywhere near that asshole downstairs on the couch right now. My mind has been all over the place lately with the baby and what our future holds for us. Nothing is getting through to Billy and I honestly feel like he will never forgive me or get over Joe's death and that he's turned colder than he already was when I first met him.

"What are you doing?" I asked from over my shoulder, glaring at him as he walked into the bedroom and walked up to me.

"I live here."

"Don't!" I shouted, spinning around and pointing at him. "Don't fucking try and be funny! None of this is fucking funny!" I snapped, my eyes narrowing into a glare between my tears. My face was already blotchy from being tear strained.

My body shook uncontrollably as Billy took another step towards me and leaned his head back in annoyance as I tried to shove him away from me. Billy grabbed hold of my wrists and smirked as I stopped my bawling and glared up at him. I swallowed hard as one of his hands let go of my wrists and snaked it's way up my neck, the side of my face and up to my messy bun. My eyes shut as his touch.

Gently he pulled the ponytail that was keeping my bun up, out and my eyes shot open as my hair fell down against my skin. Our eyes glued to one another as Billy let go of my wrist and used both of his hands to pull the baggy shirt up over my head and drop it to the floor. A shiver ran up my spine as his rough, large hands caressed my skin, running up from the small of my back all the way to my bra clasp.

"I love ya." He said in a low tone as he unclasped my bra and slowly slid it down my arms.

"I love you more." I whispered, standing up on my tip toes and pressing my lips against his.

What started off as a gentle, soft kiss, soon turned into a deep, lustful kiss. The only time we broke the kiss was so I could pull his shirt off over his head and toss it across the room without a care. I wrapped my arms around his neck and moaned against the kiss as our bodies pressed together. His skin felt hot against my own. The numbing feeling I've felt for weeks was suddenly disappearing.

My hands trailed down his arms, across his chest, his toned stomach all the way to his belt buckle where I rushed to get it off of him. He must have noticed how impatient I was becoming trying to get his belt off because he trailed kisses from my mouth, along my jaw line and down my neck, gently biting down on my shoulder as he removed his belt. A small moan like sound escaped his mouth as I ran my hand over the front of his boxers, feeling how aroused he was becoming at my touch.

Billy placed his hand on the back of my head and lowered his face to my own, crashing his lips against mine as I began to work my hand against him. He slowly led me backwards towards the bed, careful not to hurt me as he laid me down on my back and crawled over top of me. His lips crashed against my neck again, sucking and kissing the skin - definitely marking me - but I didn't care, which was unlike me.

His tongue lingered from my neck to my chest, biting down on my chest and sucking the skin. I whimpered as one of his hands cupped one of my breasts and his mouth latched on to the other one. He's never done this to me before which made my mind think the worse and wonder if he had been doing this to Jennifer recently... but... rather than kill my mojo and get myself all riled up and jealous and end up stabbing him in his sleep, Ill just enjoy it... for now.

If he had hair, I'd definitely be pulling it right now. His hand slid down my stomach to the front of my shorts, pulling them down my smooth legs in one swift movement, impressing me to say the least. He lifted his head up and stared down at me as his hand ran over the front of my boy shorts, smirking as he noticed how aroused I was. He smirked as he watched me bite my bottom lip. He gritted his teeth and pulled my boy shorts down and got off of the bed, walking around to the side of the bed, hunching over and grabbing me by the hips and pulling me down to the edge of the bed like I was weightless.

He spread my knees apart and cracked a sly smirk as he slowly ran one of his fingers over my most tender spot, watching my breathing pattern change from how my chest was pulsing. He slipped a finger inside of me and I moaned, closing my eyes and gripping the bed sheet under me as he slipped another finger inside of me. Without warning, he crouched down and pressed his tongue against me.

"Oh my god!" I squealed, arching my back.

"Billy, oh my god, I'm gonna-" I whimpered, biting my bottom lip and letting my eyes roll back.

Billy stopped what he was doing and stood tall, "Not yet."

I opened my eyes and stared up at him, my mouth falling agape as he entered me, gripping onto my hips and digging his fingers into my flesh. I threw my head back and moaned loudly, grabbing on his back and clawing my nails into his shoulder blades.

Billy's pace was slow but each thrust was hard. He lowered his face to my ear, his hot breathe tickling my skin, "How bad did you miss me?"

"A lot." I whispered clawing his back as hard as I could as he slammed into me again. I rocked my hips against his, matching his pace.

"Yeah?" He asked, pulling one of my legs up so that I could wrap it around his waist and allow him to go deeper.

"Mmmhmm!" I whimpered, my eyes closed.

Billy grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled but not hard enough to hurt me, but enough for my jaw to drop. Our eyes met and he smirked smugly, watching as my face twisted and my mouth falling completely open as I groaned.

"Prove it." He challenged, thrusting into me harder, pushing himself deeper.

"Scream my name."

"Billy" I moaned, pushing my hips against him, my arms wrapping around his neck and my legs wrapping around his waist.

His jaw clenched and using his free arm, he snaked it under my back and lifted me up off of the bed and carefully pressed my back up against the wall. It's clear as day that he's hate fucking me right now. If I wasn't pregnant I can almost guarantee he'd be a lot rougher and would have slammed me up against the wall instead.

"Louder." He demanded, thrusting harder into me than he was before, pulling my hair.

"Billy!" I cried out, closing my eyes and leaned my head back against his hand that was in my hair.

"You can do better than that." He challenged again, slamming into me even harder than before. I could feel the familiar pressure building in me.

I gritted my teeth and held my head up, staring at him before leaning into him and pressing my lips against his ear, "Billy." I whispered seductively.

"I said scream." Billy reminded me sternly, gritting his teeth as well and slamming into me again, picking up his pace, fast and rough.

"BILLY!" I screamed, my legs shaking as I came undone.

I squeezed my legs around his waist and gripped onto his shoulders for support. He grunted and dug his nails deeper against my skin as he reached his limit. I rested my mouth against his neck as we both tried to regain our normal breathing patterns. He gently pulled out of me and placed me down on my feet.

"I love you." He said firmly, no Boston accent, nothing.

He rested his forehead against mine for a moment before kissing me softly on the mouth. I ran my fingers through my hair as Billy took a few steps back and slipped up his boxers and walked over to the nightstand, grabbing his pack of cigarettes. I quickly found my panties and slipped them back on followed by the baggy t-shirt that I had been wearing earlier.

Billy lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply, watching as I climbed into bed and pulled the blankets up to my neck, trying to get comfortable. Billy sat down on the edge of the bed, his back facing me as he smoked, flicking ashes into the ashtray every so often.

"I love you and only you." I whispered as I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my face against his clawed up, red from irritation and even bleeding in some spots, back. "I did it again..." I groaned, referring to his back.

"The kid okay?" Billy asked in a rugged, deep voice, staring back at me from over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes... you cant hurt him or her from.. you know..."

Billy didn't say anything, he just nodded and looked away from me. He took one last drag and exhaled smoke out of his mouth slowly as he put the cigarette out in the ashtray. I let go of Billy and slid back down under the blankets, yawning as Billy climbed in beside me, pulling my back against his chest and wrapping his arm around me.

"I want you to come with me tomorrow night." He mumbled into the back of my neck.

"You gonna let me make a sale?" I joked.

"Fuck no." He replied instantly. "I just want ya with me."

My pointer finger traced over his knuckles. Our fingers intertwined and I smiled warmly, happy to be exactly where I wanted to be, with who I wanted to be with.

"Okay, baby." I whispered, grinding my ass against his groin.

"Keep doin' that shit and we ain't ever gonna get to sleep." He laughed faintly.

I rolled over to face him, tears rolling down my cheeks, "I don't want to sleep. I missed you so much"

Billy sighed an agitated sigh, "How many times are ya gonna fuckin' cry a day with this pregnancy thing?"

I giggled, "A lot, apparently."

Billy kissed my forehead, "I'm right here."

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

"Billy?"

I heard him sigh loudly, "What?"

"I have to pee."

"Then go fuckin' piss, jesus."

"I can't.... I watched horror movies tonight. I don't wanna die."

"For fuck sake."

"I'm kidding." I laughed.

Billy sighed again and tightened his arm around me. Soon enough he fell asleep. This was the first time he's ever fallen asleep before me. He looked so peaceful, a look that was rare to find on Billy Darley.

I'm smart enough to know that things will get worse before they get better... and I'm not referring to mine and Billy's relationship when I say that.


	38. chapter 37

Another few weeks had gone by, Thanksgiving included. Billy and I have been closer than we've ever been before. Life is still hectic given what Billy does for a living but I now somehow manage to sleep without waking up worried if today's going to be the day that I get the call that Billy's been killed or something horrible along those lines. I've been spending a lot of time with Billy, going with him to do his sales - which usually I didn't like doing but... he always got me burger king or some kind of fast food first so... my pregnant ass ain't complaining.

My stomach had finally started to show the bump everyone's been patiently waiting for. Christy has been a few months sober which was surprising considering she went out on Halloween with Megan but apparently she didn't do drugs or drink so I guess that's good.

Overall, things seem to be going okay especially after everything that happened this summer/this fall. Well, all except this fucking detective who hounded me for questions and whenever she sees me, she makes sure to repeat herself telling me that if I'm ever in trouble or see anything going on, to call her. She apparently has known Billy since he was a kid and though he's been in trouble - a lot - she's always had a soft spot for him/kept an eye on him. Her name is Jessica Wallis, Detective Jessica Wallis.

I'm starting to get stressed, she knows something's up... she knows something went down with Billy's gang and Charlie's gang. This woman is too smart, she's on to us and whether it's classified as 'betrayal' to Billy and his boys, I'm gonna keep on this bitch's good side. String her along, keep her updated on little shit and hopefully don't get my head blown off in the process or behind bars.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is... I know for a fact that these two deaths are coincidental." Wallis said pausing to take a sip of her coffee.

"What does this have to do with me?" I sighed, staring at the clock and bouncing my knee up and down.

"You look like you're nervous."

"I am." I admitted, sighing, "I'm suppose to be grocery shopping not hanging out with my new detective buddy.

"Believe me when I say, I know how the boys work."

"Oh yeah?"

"Billy looked after one of mine, I'll look after one of his: YOU." Wallis leaned forward and pointed in my face.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, confuised at what she had just said.

"You don't know?" Jessica giggled in disbelief, shaking her head and standing back up straight. "I'm a lot closer to home than you think, baby girl."

"Bodie...?" I guessed, feeling like a piece of shit due to my assumption going off of the fact that both Bodie and Jessica were black.

"Bingo." Wallis confirmed, "Baby brother. Just like Joey was Billy's baby brother."

"How-"

"I got out. Made something of myself." Jessica cut me off, turning and looking at me, "Making the right choices instead of climbing into bed with the wrong ones."

"When's your due date?" She asked, changing the subject at notice that I was staring down at my feet in shame.

"April 19th." I replied softly.

"It's not just you that you have to watch out for now." Wallis sighed sitting down in front of me, "If Billy started a war... God help you."

"He didn't die Amber." She admitted, finally getting to the point.

"What? Who? I don't know what you'r-"

"Cut the shit and listen. I'm telling you this as a sister of the gang not a Detective. Charlie did not die. My team didn't find any trace of Billy or the boys... but I know for a fact that they did this. Charlie is alive and out. I don't know where and I don't know what he's doing but I know he's alive and he will be coming after Billy, Bodie and the boys." Detective Wallis explained.

She frowned and handed me a gold iphone that I recognized, in fact I know who it belonged to, "...Is it Charlie's or Billy's?"

"Billy's!" I exclaimed, becoming humiliated.

"You're lucky I found this and my team didn't. A whole phone of texts Charlie sent to and received from you." She pursed her lips, "That alone is enough motive, no?"

"Why are you doing this? You play good cop/bad cop for fun?" I hissed, pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek.

"I'll put my job before I put my family and the kids I grew up with first." She replied sternly, "I am trying to protect you Amber. Believe it or not I care.... about you and all of them. But I love my career too. If you hear anything about Charlie or get any kind of threats, you call me. Okay?"

"I'm going to be late for my doctor's appointment." I mumbled, ignoring her.

"Billy doesn't need to be put away just before his kid is born. That'll happen if he goes after Charlie and succeeds. So I suggest you do as I say." She added, handing me a business card. "Be safe Amber, he'll be coming after you first."

I stood up and nodded slowly, grabbing my purse and turning to leave her office. I wanted to punch a hole through the wall, I wanted to scream, run away - escape all of this bullshit. But instead I have to grab life by the balls and deal with it. Everyone told me I wasn't cut out for this life, so far I've proven them incorrect. I wanted this life, I knew what the sacrifices would be.

"You're getting into a whole new world now.... I hope you can handle it." Jessica Wallis called out from behind me.

I smirked and turned my head to stare at her from over my shoulder, "I guess we'll see."

Image

"I have something to tell you privately after we get out of here." I said to Christy, who was sitting down next to Megan watching the ultrasound screen.

"You can say it now while the ultrasound tech is out of the room, I don't care." Megan shrugged, staring at me oddly.

"I can't...tell... you..." I replied awkwardly.

"Why?" Megan asked, looking slightly hurt.

"Meg, trust me... if I could, I would. I can't have this getting back to Billy." I tried to explain.

Megan scoffed and looked at Christy before turning her attention back to me, "You think I'm gonna go and run my mouth to Jack about whatever it is you're hiding? I know how this shit works. I was smart enough to figure out that Jack was still working for Billy, I'll be smart enough to figure out whatever it is you have to say."

"This is different." I promised.

Megan laughed, "Not too long ago it was you in my position. Don't act like you're high and mighty just because you're on Billy's dick."

"Shut the fuck up, now." Christy barked.

Megan sighed, "I'm sorry... Just, come on Amber... you know how this is. You both tend to forget that I'm one of the boys's women too. I'm in this fucked up life just as much, if not more than Christy, as you two."

"Charlie's alive." I announced, staring up at the ceiling.

"What?!" Both of them exclaimed.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Christy exclaimed, throwing her hands up and leaning her head back against the wall.

"How?! Jack said Billy shot his point blank in the chest. There's no-"

"Obviously wasn't deep enough to hit an artery." I cut Megan off.

"What do we do?" Megan asked.

"We?" Christy cocked an eyebrow up.

"Hell yeah, 'we'. Who else?" Megan replied eagerly.

"I have to tell Billy... I need to know that this fucker isn't going to come after me or the baby." I replied, definitely hesitant to do so.

"You were talking to fucking Jessica Wallis, weren't you?" Christy shook her head. "This is exactly what that fucking bitch wants. To get us to retaliate so she can finally put Bodie and everyone behind bars. Give your head a fucking shake."

"She's a fucking Detective you stunned bitch. I couldn't turn her down when she fucking cornered me at the grocery store with two officers behind her. I had to go." I spat, sitting up, not caring that I still had gel all over my stomach.

"Hey! Enough, you two!" Megan cut in.

"Point is, he's alive."

"So what do we do?" Christy asked, clicking her jaw to the side.

"If Billy finds out and goes after him... he's gonna go to jail. I can't tell him..." I reminded myself out-loud. "Wallis said she doesn't know where Charlie is... no one does... no one is alive who would know."

"So we track him down." Megan shrugged, "Hire someone... there's got to be-"

"No need to get stupid now. I have someone who would know where he might be." Christy stated coolly.

"Who?" Megan and I both asked at the same time.

"The guy who sold to me the first time, he was working for B-street. Then Zack and Syn started doing some of the sales and I never saw him again... But I know where to find him." Christy answered.

"Where?"

"It's a run down club, rough looking people, mean - rough - people go there. He has a few hood rats from the highschool that sell blow and weed for him. He ain't shit." Christy replied. "We can go there tonight."

"Oh yeah, fucking great idea. Let me just take my pregnant ass in there without anything to protect myself with and start questioning a fucking B-street member." I snarled in disgust.

"We won't be unprotected." Christy declared.

"I have someone who can get me guns."

"Are you fucking nuts?!" I spat, laying back down and covering my face with my hands.

"You wanna get a gun pointed at the back of your head again? Me neither. Trust me, we wont need them... but it's nice to have them." Christy assured me.

"Who the hell do you know is gonna loan you three guns?!" Megan asked wide eyed.

"Not loan, sell." Christy corrected. "Unregistered, no serial numbers.... Bones."

"Are you back on drugs?!" I exclaimed, rising up like Dracula. "Tell me you snorted an eight ball of coke before coming here and that you're not actually this stupid!"

"How the fuck are we gonna get guns from Billy's dad?! Billy would find out in a heart beat and lose his shit!" Megan exclaimed.

"You think Bones is gonna turn down cold hard cash?" Christy rolled her eyes. "Three guns... I have enough, trust me."

"How'd you get the money?" I asked suspiciously, almost considering her idea.

"I work..."

"At the Four Roses. No way tips are that good or I would have stayed." I grumbled.

Christy sighed, "I'm a cam girl on my spare time."

Megan and I both closed our eyes and sighed agitated sighs.

"What... the fuck..." Megan said slowly.

"Yeah, moneys great. Masturbate on webcam, get like $200 bucks every hour. It's great. Pays to be beautiful." Christy explained with a shrug.

"Pays to have fake tits." Megan muttered under her breath.

Christy smirked, "Precisely."

"Even if we were to go through Bones - which is a stupid idea by the way - how are we gonna do that without Billy or the guys seeing us and or finding out?" I asked.

"Simple really. I get Jack to text me when they've all left Bones's shop or when they wont be there." Megan replied.

"Not so simple, Meg. Jack will know something's up." I corrected.

"I have someone who knows all of that and won't say a damn thing to Billy or anyone for that matter." Christy assured us both.

"Dear God, who?" Megan asked for me.

"Jesus Christ, are you a detective? just trust me." Christy retorted.

Before anymore could be said between the three of us, there was two loud knocks from outside the door before the door slowly opened and the ultrasound technician peered her head in and smiled at me. Christy looked tense, staring around the room while Megan looked overly excited.

"Sorry that took so long, are you ready to begin?" The tech asked, sitting down on her spinny stool in front of the screen.

I was skeptical about this plan of Christy's enough already, but now that Bones is thrown into the situation, I'm starting to feel like I'm walking on thin ice. I couldn't risk letting Christy go alone, so no matter how much I dwell on the idea, I have to go with her to Bones's shop whether I like it or not. I just hope whoever Christy 'has' can keep an eye out for Billy and his boys. Not to mention, I hope we have enough money to bribe Bones to keep from blowing our cover.

All I want is to have a semi normal life with my gang lord boyfriend and raise our child to grow up and be semi normal. But then again, I also want to wait up every day and be flawless and never have to watch what I eat again or wake up with 10 million in my bank account so... I guess I better roll with the big dogs or sit at home on the porch with the pups.

I'd much rather sit at home on the porch with the pups...

"I'm just going to add some more gel. This is going to be cold." The tech laughed faintly as she applied for blue goop on my lower abdomen and my whole stomach.

Megan and Christy both leaned forward in their seats as the tech started to do her thing. I swallowed hard and turned my head to look at the screen.

"Ah, there baby is." The tech smiled in awe.

"Oh my God!" Christy and Megan squealed, pouting their lips.

Even though everything has been shit lately - minus the fact that Billy and I are doing really good again - and I've become even more stressed out than I usually am, my whole world seemed to be lifted up out of the darkness and into the light. That precious little baby on the screen with his or her hand curled up by it's face is my baby, my child. Half me and half the person I love unconditionally. The child that's not even out in the world yet but somehow such a huge impact on my life.

Right at this moment, I vowed to always protect my child regardless of the lengths I may have to take to do so. I vow to be the loving, caring and nurturing mother that I never got to grow up with. This small little baby on this screen is going to be my reason for breathing, my reason to stand up and speak louder than usual, to be the strong woman I need to be - especially in a life like the one I now live. I would kill for this child, I would climb the highest mountain for this child, I would go through hell and back for this child. My child.

"Do you wanna know the sex of baby?" The tech asked with a grin.

I blinked away a few tears and shook my head, "No, I want the surprise."

"Can we get the pictures?!" Megan asked anxiously.

"Of course, Amber will be getting them when we're all done." She replied flashing a warm smile.

"We're gonna get those photo copied, I want one!" Megan exclaimed.

"Me too! That's my niece or nephew." Christy chimed in. "I'm gonna get going, gonna get a hold of the person we were talking about earlier... I'll meet you guys back at mine and Meg's place around dinner time."

I sighed, "Alright, thanks for coming Chris."

Christy placed her arm across my chest and gripped my left shoulder in attempt to give me a hug while I was laying down, "No worries. I'll see you tonight, k?"

With that, Christy left the room. Megan and I went back to staring at my bundle of joy on the screen.

"Oh my God, beeb's is so freakin' cute!" Megan squealed. "I can't believe how fast this is going."

"Right? Seems like it was summer only yesterday." The tech tried to make conversation. "I can't believe it's already the end of November."

"I'm stoked, Christmas is the best time of year." Megan engaged in conversation.

"Not to mention we're suppose to have light snow next week. Perfect timing."

"Really? Snow? Already? Damn Boston and it's unpredictable weather." Megan frowned.

I haven't seen snow in what felt like forever. I almost miss Michigan's cold, snowy winters. But given the fact I can wear a sweater and see grass around this time of year, I'm down with Boston's weather. I miss Michigan though... I miss my siblings... I even miss my parents sometimes and wish things were different.

Image

"I'm surprised you're awake." Christy said as she climbed into the passenger seat of Heco's car.

"Been cookin' more of our shit at the office today." Heco replied tilting his head to the side and scratching his neck.

"I need a favour." Christy turned and said.

"Whatcha need?" Heco asked coolly.

"I need guns."

Heco started to laugh, "For what? Saturday night special?"

"For a pest." Christy replied with a wink.

"You can use mine." Heco offered.

"No, I know where to get guns... I just, need you to basically make sure Billy or any of the others don't go to Bones's shop this evening." Christy explained.

"Damn..." Heco shook his head and leaned back in his seat, "They're all at the office then half of us are going to sell tonight while the others are goin' to The Four Roses."

"So...?"

"So you'll be good to go... just shit... get what you need and get out of there fast." Heco sighed. "What's this even about? You were Joey's old lady.. we got your back."

"Can you keep a secret?" Christy asked, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her purse.

"You of all people know I can keep a fuckin' secret." Heco retorted, watching as Christy placed a cigarette between her lips and held up the flame from her lighter to the end of her cigarette.

"Someone may be after Amber." Christy admitted.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. I gotta tell Billy, you know I gotta tell Billy." Heco exclaimed.

"You can't!" Christy exclaimed, exhaling smoke from her mouth.

"You can't just fuckin' show up at Bones's shop asking to buy guns! Bones hates you and Amber... he hates anyone who could potentially make his sons turn on him-" Heco ranted.

Christy rolled her eyes and exhaled another cloud of smoke, "Well. Joe's dead, isn't he?"

"I'm sorry..." Heco sighed running a hand over his shaved head. "Bones just-"

"Bones loves money. He loves getting money. He's not going to care if it's from me or Elvis for fucks sake. He'll sell to me." Christy assured Heco.

Heco nodded slightly in agreement, "True but what if he asks?"

"Like you said, he could care less about his sons, he especially does not give a fuck about Amber or I. He won't ask anything."

"Even then... I can't keep this a secret from Billy." Heco groaned.

"Why not?" Christy asked, rolling down her window and throwing her cigarette butt out before turning to face Heco, "You managed to keep us a secret."

Heco sighed loudly, "You drive me crazy."

Christy leaned over and pressed her lips against Heco's, kissing him roughly before nibbling on his bottom lip slightly, "But I'm right."

Heco pulled away slightly and stared into Christy's eyes, "I already betrayed Joey by fucking you for a month before he died... I can't betray Billy by not telling him and letting something happen to Amber."

"Nothing will happen to Amber, trust me." Christy reassured him, giving him a peck on the lips. "Besides, you're good at keeping secrets from Billy and everyone else. What's one more?"

Heco laughed in disbelief, "Fucking Joe's girl behind his back is a lot different than not telling Billy when his pregnant girl is in danger."

"You didn't stop even after Joe was killed... How do you think that'll set with Billy?" Christy replied in a cocky tone, knowing damn well she had Heco by the balls.

"I sure hope you're right about Amber being okay... or Billy will not only kill me, he'll fuckin' kill you too." Heco reminded her.

Christy sighed and rolled her, "Trust me. Now can we go back to your place?"

Heco smirked slyly and put the car in reverse to pull out of the parking lot of the hospital, "Fuck yeah."


	39. chapter 38

The black hoodie Billy had once given me back when I was freaking out that the hickeys from the night before were visible, was now more useful than it was back then. I was wearing it, jeans and black skate shoes. Megan on the other hand was wearing a black white baseball shirt with black sleeves, black leggings that ended halfway up her calves and a pair of low top converse shoes.

Both of us have been pacing around Christy's living-room for the past half hour, impatiently waiting for her to meet us here like we had planned. Megan had lied to Jack saying she works tonight while I had lied to Billy saying Christy and I are going to be busy hekping Megan dye her hair. Let's hope Billy or Jack don't talk to each other about it... which actually probably wont happen anyways. I highly doubt Billy of all people talks about what his woman is doing. Yeah, no. I'm good to go on my bullshit story.

"You guys are gonna wear my carpet out. What's with the pacing back and forth? You look like idiots." Christy said as she came in from the balcony.

"There you are!" I exclaimed.

"Jesus, what took so long?!" Megan asked sighing in relief.

"I had shit to do, you guys ready?" Christy responded, seeming like she could care less about how on edge Megan and I both were.

"Good to see this is a priority on your list." Megan murmured, shaking her head.

"Whatever, let's go." Christy grumbled in annoyance.

I raised my brows at Christy, "Really?"

"What?" She snapped.

"You're not gonna wear black?"

"What are we robbing a bank? We're going to a fucking club, weirdos."

"Where were you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Out and about. Talked to my person, they're gonna-"

"Are you fucking this particular person?" I asked, knowing Christy better than she thinks I do.

Christy scoffed, "Are you serious right now?"

"It's just a question." I shrugged.

"No, I'm not. But even if I was, which I'm not, you're in no position to judge me." Christy hissed, glaring at me between squinted eyes. "Now let's go, I'll meet you guys out in the car."

Once Christy was out of the apartment, Megan and I both smirked and stared at one another.

"She totally is."

"Yup."

"I wonder who?"

"Couldn't be one of the guys... no one would go there, she was Joey's." I said, chewing on my bottom lip as I thought of the possibilities.

"At this rate, I wouldn't put it past her." Megan laughed. "Come on, let's go."  
Image

Since living in the new house with Billy and everything going good for once, I decided I needed a change and ended up dying my hair jet black again. Bones hasn't seen me since I had light brown hair with blonde in it, so hopefully he doesn't recognize me right off the bat. This hoodie of Billy's is covering all but my knuckle tattoos, so I hope he didn't look over my hand tattoos or even notice them the last time he spoke to me. Maybe he won't recognize me.

"I'm going in myself." I announced, picking up Christy's 'trucker' hat and putting it on my head followed by putting my hood up over top of the hat, hiding most of my hair.

"What?! No, it's too dangerous, you can't go in there by yourself!" Megan argued.

"I have the money, I'm coming in." Christy stated.

"Then give me the fucking money. It's not like my pregnant ass is gonna run off with your cash." I grumbled, shaking my head.

"Let me go, he doesn't know who I am... yet." Megan winced.

"If we all go piling in there, he's gonna wonder what the fuck is up especially if he recognizes us. Sorry to say, but Christy sticks out like a sore thumb." I replied.

"Well, yeah... I'm a fucking fox." Christy giggled, "joking". Too vain to actually be joking.

Megan and I both rolled our eyes and stared at Christy, impatiently waiting for someone to decide who was going or if we all were going in.

"Christy's out." I declared, reaching back and grabbing the studded leather backpack of Christy's full of cash that was on the seat next to Megan, "I'm not letting Megan take the heat for this if we get caught by Billy or one of the boys.

"What are you doing? No, you're pregnant! One of us are co-"

"Keep an eye out." I said coolly, opening the car door and getting out.

I became nervous at the sound of growls coming from the two pitbulls Bones had chained out front of his shop. While they were both beautiful, strong looking dogs... they were both intimidating and could probably rip me to shreds before I'd even have the chance to scream.

I let out a shaky breath as I reached for the door handle and slowly opened the door to Bones shop. The mechanics didn't look up from the vehicles they were working on as I slowly made my way through Bones' dark shop, all the way back to his office that was lit with blue and red lights, much like how the Four Roses is lighted. Nervously, I gripped on to the backpack full of cash as I walked towards Bones who was sitting at his desk counting piles of cash money.

I can't imagine the anxiety feeling Billy must get everyday that he has to face this intimidating man he calls his father.

"May I help you?" Bones asked in a raspy deep voice, not bothering to look up at me as he continued to count the cash in his large hands.

"I need guns...." I replied quietly in a nervous tone.

Bones stopped counting his cash, becoming stiff, yet still didn't look up at me for a moment. Then slowly Bones lifted his head up and stared up at me, our eyes meeting. Bones studied me for a moment before pulling off his glasses with special 'magnifying' lenses and setting them down carelessly on his desk before picking up a pair of black thick rimmed glasses with tape in the middle. Bones pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose and snorted, much like Billy was bad for doing.

Bones shook his head slightly, "I know you."

"Yeah I know Billy....." I trailed softly, staring directly at Bones as I spoke.

Bones stood up, placing his hands flat down on his desk as he leaned forward. "I'm gonna guess you're a little bit far from home...." He stated intimidatingly.

Without answering his question I placed the backpack gently on his desk, unzipping it a little bit revealing the stacks of cash inside. Bones stared it over and nodded his head slowly understanding that I wasn't fucking around.

"Well..." Bones started as he stared up from the bag of cash back up to me, "Don't let me smell fear on ya."

Bones led me from his desk over to a safe on the wall, "Fear is for the enemy. Fear and bullets!" Bones stated clearly as he unlocked the safe, revealing a huge stash of shotguns, pistols and rifles. I stared at all the guns and ammunition as Bones turned and looked at me, "...Lots of fuckin' bullets."

Bones reached for a gun and carefully picked it up and turned to me, "You got the bastard of bastards, .357" Bones introduced a pistol, setting it on the table in front of me. "Guaranteed head removal...that... that's a sweetie." He added before turning back to the gun safe.

I remained silent staring down at the pistol as I waited for Bones to bring out more guns. Christy stated we only needed three guns, but frankly I wanted one myself... just to have. I'll eventually convince Christy to sell me one of the three we purchase today or I'll do something even more stupid and end up buying an extra one from my own pocket.

"You got your standard sized .45" Bones continued to explain as he grabbed another pistol and sat it down on the table before grabbing yet a third pistol from the rack of guns, "and here you got yourself the king of mayhem!" Bones exclaimed in excitement, "Half canon, sword of justice. Take this fucker to the holy lands and start your own crusade."

That's it. That's the one I want.

"Anyone one of these are bound to make you feel better about whats bothering you." Bones added as he sat the third shiny gold pistol down beside the other two.

I stared down at the guns and back up at Bones who nodded slightly in approval for me to go ahead and pick one of them up. I flinched a little as I picked up the guns, checking them out as I remembered the last time that I had shot a gun. Given that my dad is a hunter, I learnt how to shoot a gun, a rifle to be exact, at quite a very young age. Once I got a little bit older, my dad introduced me to a shotgun and taught me how to fire it without knocking myself down on my ass from how powerful a shotgun is. Then of course my sisters and I wanted to start joining my dad at the firing range when he'd go shoot his pistols off.

Needless to say, I know what I'm doing when it comes to guns. But I'll keep that to myself for my own personal reasons.

"What about that one?" I asked nodding my head towards the shotgun in the safe behind Bones.

Bones glanced over his shoulder to see what I was referring to, "This one?" Bones asked picking up the shotgun and throwing it towards me, I caught it like it was nothing as I held it properly, squinting my one eye as I stared down the barrel, the familiar feeling of holding a long barrelled gun suddenly coming back to me. I sat the shotgun down on the table beside the others and stared up at heavy set, Bones who was breathing rather heavily.

"Alright. I'll take all three of these. Don't need the shotgun right now... But I'll be back for it." I stated casually tapping on one of the guns, indicating that I wanted all of the pistols that Bones had showed me.

"That's... three, fucking grand worth of killing..." Bones started, pointing down at the guns, "Do you got three grand worth of killing with you?" Bones asked in disbelief.

I placed the backpack down on the desk beside the guns and unzipped it, grabbing a few stacks of cash and placing them down in front of Bones, "I know."

"...Well... that makes you a preferred customer.. so I'm going to give you some accessories." Bones replied holding a finger up as he bent down and grabbed stack after stack of ammunition and a gun manual for every gun that I was about to purchase from Bones.

"Just because you got a killing thing about you..." Bones said surely as he began to load the guns in to a large hockey bag for me, causing me to become tense as I stared up at him. "...For a woman, you surely do... a for sure killing thing about you." He added all while continuing to fill the hockey bag for me. "And, you're family now, huh?"

I felt awkward at his last comment. Last time Bones and I were ever face to face, he practically told Billy to keep me in line or he was gonna do it for him. I nodded at him graciously and Immediately after Bones handed me the hockey bag of guns and supplies, I turned around and began to walk away from Bones' office, carrying the heavy hockey bag in one hand and the backpack of what's left of Christy's money in the other.

As I made my way towards the exit, the sound of Bones cocking a gun stopped me dead in my tracks; a lump forming in my throat as fear that I thought I no longer had in me suddenly came back.

"That my grandchild you're packin'?" Bones asked calmly yet intimidation dripped with every word.

I slowly turned on one foot as I stared back at Bones who had a gun in his hands, pointing upward to the ceiling, "How'd you know?" I asked cautiously.

"That would make you the mother of Billy's kid, buyin' guns. I'm gonna take a guess and assume Billy doesn't have a clue you're here, yeah?" Bones questioned as I watched his grip on the gun become tighter.

I cleared my throat and nodded slightly, "Yeah..."

Bones pursed his lips and nodded slowly, "Ya got that look that Billy's motha' had. Didn't give a damn that she was knocked up, she had her .38 with her at all times." Bones said as he placed the gun down on his desk. I already knew this had nothing to do with my situation so I just remained quiet.  
"Question is, why are ya buyin guns while you're knocked up with Billy's kid?"

Bones smirked, "Let me guess, Billy's got someone after him and you, don't he?"

My jaw tightened and I remained silent, knowing its best not to tell Bones anything.

"That someone being the rich little fucker who killed Joe, yeah? Killed my youngest and now he's after my oldest." Bones continued.

Bones leaned forward and placed his hands flat on his desk, "So... somebody has to make somebody pay to make themselves feel better. Billy'd be the one to pay right?"

Bones shrugged, "He can kill the little piss pants, see if it makes a damn days difference to me. But parent to parent, don't come tellin' me about it if he succeeds. Lord knows I've been patient..."

"And you... you're a cash payin' fuckin' customer!" Bones exclaimed before narrowing his eyes into a glare in my direction. "But you better think about goin' and doin' whatever the fuck it is you plan on doing that'll put Billy or that kid in danger..." Bones paused, nodding towards my stomach, "Because I'll kill ya."

"Go your way now" Bones instructed as I turned around and hurried towards the exit. "Go with God... bag full of guns!" Bones shouted after me before I exited the building.

I threw the bag of guns and money in the backseat next to Megan and plopped down in the passenger seat, pulling the hat and hood off of my head and sighing deeply. Christy sighed in relief while Megan started to shoot out a bunch of questions at me.

I sighed again, "Good thing it was just me who went in."

Christy frowned, "That bad?"

I laughed faintly, "That's an understatement."

Image

She wasn't kidding... this place looked almost like one of those "underground" type clubs. The people weren't 'rough looking' like she had described, instead they were all dressed in the normal club wear that anyone would usually wear out but yet they looked like they'd cut your fucking throat in an instant if you gave them the wrong look.

"Christy! My girl, come in here." An unfamiliar man called out as we made our way up to the second level of the club.

Megan and I both kept our heads down, hats on and guns ready. Well, ish. Megan and Christy both insisted on bringing their purses in here with their guns while me being me (an idiot) carried mine in my back belt loop... just like Billy. Ha, I wonder if he'd be proud of me right now or blow a blood vessel from screaming at me for doing something like this.

"Hey Keegan, what's up?" Christy greeted him in the phoniest voice possible.

"Who deez bitches wit you? Y'all mother fuckers look like ya bout to rob me." He laughed, sitting down in a chair in a VIP room.

The whole room was dark, lit with purple lights and the front of the room was glass which over looked the dance floor. This guy obviously had connects and I think Christy is too stunned to realize this was probably a bad idea. I should have just told Billy and risk having him find out that I've been talking to Bodie's bitch sister, Detective Wallis.

"Oh... they're my friends." Christy stared back at Megan and I, "They're socially awkward."

'Keegan' laughed, "Sit yo fine ass down. Shit whatcha been up to?"

Christy sat down across from him and smiled warmly, "Oh you know, same ol' same ol'."

"What can I do for you?" He asked, flashing his perfect teeth as he smiled.

"Do you have any idea where Charlie is?"

"Charlie? Who the fuck Charlie?"

"Matt's brother... you know, B-street.... you're the one who led me to Syn and Zack when I needed blow." Christy trailed off.

"Oh, yeah, yeah yeah. What about dem?"

"I need to know where the leader, Charlie, is." Christy replied firmly.

"I don't know no Charlie." He lied.

I stood up and placed one of my hands on my hips. I could feel my blood begin to boil as Christy and Megan both tried to get answers out of this guy. Keegan kept lying, sticking to his story even though he had a similar tattoo on his hand that Matt and the others from B-street had - The Death Bat.

"Shit bitch, is you pregnant at a club?!" Keegan exclaimed, nodding towards my stomach that was noticeable even through Billy's hoodie.

"Keegan, come on... this is important, I really really need to speak to Charlie." Christy whined.

"You have no idea where he is? Who takes care of his club?" Megan asked suspiciously, clearing not buying his bullshit lies either.

"I'ma assume he's got employees." Keegan retorted.

"You didn't know if we were talking about his B-street club or his actual dance club that he owns, yet you answered that like you knew what we were referring to." Megan said slowly, cocking an eyebrow.

"You got a point? Or you just speak to hear yaself?" Keegan hissed at Megan.

"Okay, settle down you two... I just-" Christy started.

"Where the fuck is Charlie?!" I demanded, reaching around behind me and pulling out the standard size .45 from my belt loop and aiming it at Keegan.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Keegan shouted, jumping back in his seat.

"Amber!" Megan and Christy exclaimed, wide eyed.

"Fucking tell me where he is or I'll put one between your eyes." I threatened between gritted teeth.

"Bitch! You're fuckin' pregnant and comin' in here packin' and demanding information?! Y'all fucked or what?!" Keegan exclaimed.

"Where. The. Fuck. IS HE?!" I screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW!" He shouted back at me.

I cocked the gun and pressed the end of the barrel against his forehead, "You sure?"

"JESUS! I DON'T KNOW! HE'S BEEN M.I.A FOR AWHILE!" Keegan screamed frantically, finally telling us something to go on. "Ya crazy bitch!"

"How do we know you're not bullshitting us?!" Megan asked, joining in on interrogating Keegan.

"Because! Dumb bitch, if I knew I would have told you! I ain't saying this just because this crazy pregnant bitch here has a gun pointed at my head!" Keegan growled, glaring up at me.

"If he ain't at his place or his club where else would he be hiding?" Christy asked out loud, staring at Megan.

Megan shrugged, "You guys got an office?"

"Like... office as in?"

"As in where you cook your drugs?" Megan asked.

"Hell nawh! That shit got burnt the fuck down awhile ago. There ain't no mo' B-street, whoever tried to take out Charlie, took em all out!" Keegan explained.

"What about you?" I asked, staring down at him between narrowed eyes. "Nice fucking tattoo."

"I was just a dealer! I was doin' the street shit until those two fuckers Zack and Syn took over and Matt said I wasn't needed anymore. Honest." Keegan 'promised'.

"So you don't know where he is at all?" Megan asked with a frown.

"Shit, I'd be in Witness Protection if I were him." Keegan sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.

Keegan must have noticed the irritation on my face because he sighed again and changed his tune.

"Last I heard he was getting out of the hospital after takin' a bullet. He's probably staying in some fancy ass five star hotel for now until it's all good to go back home. Shit, that or he's out for the kill. First his baby brother and now Matt? Ain't no motherfucking doubt in my mind that Charlie will get who did this."

Keegan licked his lips and scanned all of us, "But somethin' tells me y'all already know that."

"If there's no more 'B-street' like you say, then who's he got?" I asked, taking a step back, gun still aimed at Keegan's head.

"Shit... he's loaded. Who ain't he got? He's even got a couple'a crooked cops under his belt." Keegan laughed, "Y'all mother fuckers best be prayin' you ain't the ones he's after."

"Fuck." Christy, Megan and I both spat out at the same time.

"That's all I know, that's all I'm allowed to know. I was just a dealer, dawg." Keegan whined. "Y'all don't wanna fuck with Charlie man... He'll kill you. He's cray."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I whispered, putting the gun back in my belt loop, "Let's go."

With that, Christy and I stormed out of the room with Megan following behind us awkwardly. Megan spun around on her heel and winced at Keegan, "I hope you have a very nice evening!"

Image

"What the fuck was that?!" Megan exclaimed.

"You taking lessons from Billy or what? What the hell were you thinking?!" Christy scolded me as we all got inside of her car.

"Whatever, what's done is done. No one was hurt so let's drop it." I murmured, putting on my seatbelt.

"You know what we have to do now right?" Megan asked me from the backseat.

Christy stared at her through the rear view mirror, "And that is?"

"Tell Billy." Megan and I both answered at the same time.

"We can't...." Christy sighed, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles were turning white, "Remember what your Detective friend said?"

I sighed, "It's a risk I have to take. We need to tell Billy... and we need to tell him now. Head for under the bridge, he'll be there."


	40. chapter 39

"You need to get a grip, Amber. You're pregnant and acting like a psychopath!" Christy scolded, glancing from the road over to me. "That was completely fucking insane and what if someone would have saw you do that and they pull a gun on you?!"

"Just because Billy pulls shit like that, doesn't mean you should. You could have been killed!" She continued.

"Alright!" I shouted, "I got the fucking point."

"Do you? you sure? Because doing shit like that is nuts." Megan joined in on the lecturing.

"Just shut the fuck up!" I screamed, unaware that I had done so until they both went dead silent and looked at me like I was some stranger. I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest, "I know what I did was stupid but this is my fucking life were talking about. My child's life."

"Exactly." Megan mumbled, "That's why we're mad at you... you and baby could have been hurt."

"I'm sorry, alright?" I apologized, irritation still visible on my face.

"I think you should keep that." Christy stated, nodding towards the gun in my lap.

I turned my head and stared at Christy with a puzzled look upon my face, "Are you serious?"

Christy nodded, "I'd sleep better at night knowing you got it."

"You feelin' alright?" I chuckled.

Christy smirked, "Yeah, I am. Are you surprised I care about my best friend and her child?"

"No, I'm just glad to see that you are." I answered truthfully.

Christy smirked and glanced down at her phone, quickly texting and glancing back up to watch the road. There was something about her facial expression that was a dead give away that whoever it was she was texting, was someone she wanted to keep a secret. I know it -- she knows it -- it's just obvious. I've known Christy a good chunk of my life, I know all her deepest and darkest secrets. I know when she's angry or when she's excited about something. I know when she's lying, when she's telling the truth and I know when she's hiding something. Be that as it may, it's not my business and an argument with my best friend is the last thing she or I need right now.

There's three things on my mind right now:

The first one being, 'How am I going to tell Billy?'

The second being, 'How am I going to explain to Billy that Bodie's detective sister was the one who informed me'

And last but certainly not least: FOOD. I'm going to go home tonight and eat until I'm so bloated that I look like I'm pregnant with twins. Damn me for not eating dinner before we left.

I can already imagine how my knight in shining armour, err..., my criminal in tribal tattoos, is going to react. Probably exactly how Detective Wallis said he would react. Then again, I can't really say that I blame him... after all, I just pulled a gun AND held a gun against someone's forehead over this. A part of me is afraid of who I've already become and another part of me is afraid of who I may possibly become. Maybe this is the hormones speaking and I'm just overreacting... but I've changed.

Then again, I'd rather be the way that I am now than what I was a year ago. I was literally a fucking punching bag for some asshole who knew I was too weak to stand up for myself and put a stop to his abuse. I guess he got what was coming to him though... even if he went out a way that I don't approve of. I'd never tell anyone that though...

I often forget some of the things the love of my life has done in such a short period of time. The love I have for Billy seems to overlook what he does, what he is. He's a uncompassionate, ruthless, cold-hearted, drug dealing gang lord who kills people without an ounce of remorse. However, I see the side of Billy that desperately wants more than the life he leads. Sometimes I look at Billy and imagine the young boy in the photo of him and Joe hanging above our unborn child's crib. Often wondering what kind of childhood did he have - if he even had one at all - considering he had to pretty much raise Joe.

Ahh... Joey, I miss him so much...

"Why is everyone here?" Mega asked, awakening me from my thoughts.

I shook my head and narrowed my eyes to get a better look at what was before me. Sure as shit, Megan was right. Everyone was here, everyone being Billy and his boys. The fact that they were all here told me two things, either something bad just went down or they're not selinng tonight and simply all just here smoking weed and drinking beers - which is kind of unlike them but meh, I'd imagine The Four Roses gets sickening after awhile.

"Well, here we are. I hope you have a plan...." Christy mumbled, turning off her car and reaching for her door handle.

Exhaling a shaky breathe, I followed her lead and climbed out of the car. Megan immediately made her way over to Jack who was standing relatively close to Billy, drinking beer and listening to music that was coming from the inside of Heco's car. Christy kept her distance from Billy but made her way over to where Baggy and Heco were standing, starting a conversation up with the two of them.

And there he was, standing there smoking a cigarette and leaning against the hood of Heco's car. Oddly enough, Billy wasn't in his usual attire. Instead he was wearing a back pull over hoodie. I find it weird that I'm so use to seeing Billy in a leather jacket that I actually find it weird when he's wearing something like a hoodie instead.

Our eyes met and my heart melted as I approached him. He pulled out the cigarette that was dangling between his lips and exhaled smoke slowly out of his mouth as he stared down at me. I gave him a weak smile and stood as close as I could next to him, snaking my left arm around his back and resting it there. Billy turned his head and looked at me dully.

"What'ya doin' here?" He asked.

Though I had rehearsed what I was going to say to Billy in mind head over and over, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It was like my common sense jumped out the window and committed suicide. I have to tell Billy regardless of what Detective Wallis said, I have to. But I can't bring myself to do it right now and I'm not sure why.

"I... I was just driving around with Meg and Christy... I figured you'd be here... thought I'd come keep you company." I lied horribly. I only ever am here is if Billy brings me here.

Billy nodded, smoke exhaling from his mouth as he did so, "Ya alright?"

"I'm fine... just miss you." I whispered in hopes of no one hearing and knowing that Billy is NOT the type to show affection to me around any of these guys, even though it's pretty obvious that he does.

I mean, after all... he did save me. He did make me his girlfriend. He did drag his boys to a baby store for me. It's safe to say I turned this man hoe into a house husband. At least I hope so anyways because these hormones are making me nuts and if I ever hear of him cheating on me or anything I'll stab the bitch and then stab him.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked softly, staring up at Billy.

Billy shrugged and leaned his head to the side, scratching some of his facial hair, "Havin' beers."

Well clearly.

"Oh." I replied instead of saying what I thought.

"Wanna go home?" Billy asked, flicking his cigarette down to the ground.

I nodded, "With you?"

"No with fuckin' Heco."

I rolled my eyes and smiled at him, causing him to smirk. A giddy giggle escaped my mouth as I stared into Billy's bright blue eyes. Billy placed one of his hands on the back of my neck and rested his forehead against mine for a moment before giving me a peck on the lips.

"I love ya." He said softly, making Bodie cock an eyebrow up.

Clearly Bodie and the boys were still getting use to seeing this side of their leader. Billy didn't seem to notice or care if he had noticed their confused expressions. Me on the other hand, I just stared up at Billy in awe. Butterflies fluttered around my stomach, my cheeks turned a light shade of red as I blushed deeply. This was the first time Billy has ever told me he loved me in front of anyone.

"I love you too." I replied following beside Billy towards where his car was parked.

The crunching sound of tires over gravel stopped us dead in our tracks. Billy glanced over his shoulder, staring back at the car that had just pulled up near where everyone was still gathered around. Billy let go of me and stood turned around, straightening out his back and putting back on his cold facial expression that he wore 90% of the time.

Billy cursed under his breathe before quickly glancing at me, "Lets go."

The drivers side door swung open and out came Bones, a shit eating smirk across his fat face as he waddled around the front of the car, "Well... what are we fuckin' up tonight, son?" Bones called out as he stormed up to Billy and I, standing toe to toe with his son, blocking him from taking anymore steps. Bones shoved Billy back a little bit.

"What the fuck do you want now?!" Billy exclaimed, moving his shoulder up, trying to regain his posture.

"You look like you're in a fuckin' hurry." Bones spat as Billy quit struggling to get past his father and stood tall, staring at him with a cold, hard glare. "Do you know how much I have to wipe your fuckin' nose?! I gotta deal with the shit you start, put up with ya half ass work ethics because you're too fuckin' busy playing 'dad' to an unborn bastard kid of yours. Then I gotta tell some rich little faggott that he can fuckin' have ya. Do you think I enjoy that?!"

Billy's jaw tightened and he hung his head down. I glared at Bones as he mentioned my child. I knew he was probably referring to Charlie but just wasn't saying it yet. Bones returned my glare and huffed as he reached out and shoved me back roughly by my shoulder, causing me to almost fall backwards. Billy's head instantly snapped up.

For a split second, Billy almost believed that his father actually truly did give a fuck about his well being.

"What you don't get is... I care about what happens to you." Bones said softly.

Billy sighed and leaned his head back as Bones scrunched his nose and finished his sentence, "Because it can fucking HURT ME!" He spat loudly.

"NOW DO YOU NEED ANY MORE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS?!" Was all Bones could scream before the sound of a gun went off and a bullet pierced through the left side of his glasses, going through his eye and out through the back of his skull. Bones fell to the ground, lifeless.

My body froze as I watched Bones's fat body fall to the ground. I could hear Megan scream and some of the others gasp in shock at what Billy had just done to his own fucking father. My eyes widened and hands trembled at my sides as I slowly looked up at Billy.

Billy sniffled hard and wiped his mouth off with his sleeve, the gun still in his right hand as he spoke, "No thanks, Dad."

Billy slowly turned and faced all of us, "All this spilled blood, all this shit that's went down lately... It breeds loyalty. Family isn't about blood anymore... it's about who ya loyal to, who ya'd die for."

Billy's eyes met mine for a split second but what seemed like forever as the song "The House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals - started to play from Heco's car, echoing throughout the area. Billy turned back around to stare down at his fathers lifeless body.

"In this case, you're all my family." Billy gritted his teeth and pulled his leg up and kicking his fathers dead fat head.

I winced as blood splattered up from Bones's already bleeding face.

"You all know what I'm willing to do for my family..." Billy paused to catch his breathe, "What are ya gonna do for yours?"

Bodie tightened his jaw and scanned his eyes around, slowly nodding his head in agreement of what Billy had just said. Heco scratched the back of his neck while Jamie and Dog stared at Bodie who nodded at them. They both nodded back and made their way over to Bones's dead body, knowing they'd be the ones to take care of getting rid of the body.

All of these men here that have stood behind Billy since the time they were kids, would definitely stand behind him until the day they die. For some of them, Billy and the rest of these men have been the only 'family' they've ever had. A fucked up, dysfunctional family.

Billy's back straightened yet once again and he turned his head slightly to stare at all of us from over his shoulder, "It's time for some change."


	41. chapter 40

What Billy had done to his own father was not only the end of Bones's controlling shit, but it was the end of what seemed like a prison sentence in hell for Billy. Yet in the same token, what he had done had also created even more trouble for Billy. Luckily for us, kind of anyway -- Detective Wallis was the one who's been hounding us about Bones's where about's, but again, luckily for Billy, Wallis knows Bones was into things he shouldn't have been involved in so if he is dead - the last person she's going to assume killed Bones would be his own son.

As expected, Billy took over his fathers position as THE main guy for drugs and gun running. This was stressful because this means all the trouble and danger Bones had was now on Billy. However, Billy wasn't kidding when he said it was "time for a change". I could see the passion burning in his eyes now that he was the one sitting behind Bones desk. I think he actually believes that he can make this all better for everybody while still doing what they do. Honestly, the only way that would ever happen is if Billy completely cuts off the guns, the drugs, and everyone just actually does what they're suppose to be doing... running a fucking mechanic shop, not drugs.

Since Billy moved up, everyone else did as well. All of Billy's boys went from cooking in the basement of the abandoned mental hospital "The office" to just selling the drugs as none of them, except for Jack, - who now works at the shop doing oil changes - know how to work on vehicles. The younger brothers of Billy's boys and kids that grew up on Billy's turf now work for Billy and cook the drugs at "The office". There's only five boys there that cook but that's all Billy really needs and he trusts them because much like their older brothers, they too are afraid of Billy.

Everyone is being paid way more than they were under Bones's reign. Everyone is happier, doing better work now that they're being paid for all those hours they stand out in eerie places selling drugs. Hell, the mechanics who worked for Bones are even happier and bringing in more business now that Billy upped their pay.

Safe to say that for the first time in a long time everything is going okay.

Except for one thing...

Charlie.

Given what happened the night I was suppose to inform Billy that Charlie is actually alive... Both Christy and Megan convinced me that telling him would be the worse thing to do at the time. For now, since Charlie hasn't done anything or even contacted me, I think they're right. But the fact that he's still out there somewhere probably plotting some sort of revenge, has me on edge. Would he hurt me to get back at Billy? Or worse... would he kill me and my unborn child?

"Ya listenin' to me?" Billy asked, awakening me from my thoughts.

I shook my head as I regained my thoughts and then nodded, "Yeah -- sorry, what?"

"I got ya the tree." Billy repeated himself, staring at me between narrow eyes as he slowly put his belt back on.

Most women claim to have a high sex drive during their pregnancy but for me it's the complete opposite. My stomach is bigger, I don't feel sexy, I can tell he's focusing on making sure he doesn't hurt me or the baby - even though I told him he can't - and it's just awkward and whenever we have sex, I often wish it would just be over with so I can go back to being a huge pregnant whale and he can go back to doing whatever it is that he does.

Maybe I'm just stressed and over-thinking about Charlie retaliating but either way, my stomach has grown and as a usually small girl, I feel uncomfortable having this huge bump. Christy and Megan tell me I'm being dramatic and that I look cute pregnant, but I just feel fat and gross. What if he thinks about me when I had a flat stomach? what if he bangs Jennifer on the side because she's still skinny? what if-

"Amber." Billy said firmly, "Ya doin' it again."

"Doing what?" I asked, shaking my head again.

"Zonin' out and shit."

"I'm sorry, Billy."

"Gonna set that tree up today or what?"

I shrugged, "I'll probably end up doing it with Megan. Christy's been ditching us a lot lately for her new boo, whoever that is."

"She back on the shit?" Billy asked dully, sitting down on the edge of the bed, shirtless.

I climbed out of bed and made my way over to the dresser, grabbing a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Boring, but suitable for a pregnant lady.

"I don't think so. She wouldn'-"

Billy laughed in disbelief, "Wouldn't put it past her."

I rolled my eyes and slipped my legs in my jeans, "People can change Billy. Clearly." I slipped my jeans up over my hips and bit my bottom lip as I struggled to zip up my jeans, "I mean look at you for instance."

"I'm still the same." He corrected me.

I sighed loudly and clicked my jaw to the side, "Of course." I winced as I tried to suck it in to button up my jeans. Billy just stared at me with a blank face before realizing that I was struggling to get my favourite jeans on. He smirked as I pouted, "Fuck!"

"Troubles?" He asked coolly.

"Fuck you!" I exclaimed, pushing my jeans back down and kicking them across the bedroom angrily. "I'm a fat fucking horse!"

"Ya knocked up."

"THANK YOU."

"The fuck is your problem?"

"I can't fit anything is my fucking problem!" I shouted back, standing in front of him.

"Then wear something that fits. Problem solved." He replied, standing up and pulling a black shirt over his head.

"Thank you, thank you for your help, it's greatly appreciated." I mumbled sarcastically.

Billy pulled on Joe's leather jacket and turned to face me, "Ya welcome."

It's times like this where I wish I had it in me to pull back my fist and punch his lights out but let's be honest, I wouldn't. Not because I know what he'd do... but, I just wouldn't. Not saying Billy would hit me, because if he actually wanted to, he would have by now but... Still. Not something I like to even think about.

I followed Billy out of the bedroom and downstairs where a fairly tall fake Christmas tree was already set up and awaiting lights and decorations. I gasped and smiled widely, turning on my heel to face Billy. Yes, he's an asshole but he manages to make up for it in small little ways.

"You set it up for me!" I squealed happily. "Thank you!"

Billy nodded and wrapped his arm around my back as I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed, the side of my face digging into his chest. I stared up at him and smiled warmly. I swear, I see through all of the bad that he does and love him for all the good that he does. His free hand snaked down my arm and rested on my stomach. I watched as his thumb caressed my stomach and glanced back up at him, seeing him frowning. I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek and knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I love you very much." I whispered almost like I was reminding him.

Billy nodded and placed a hand on the back of my neck, pulling our foreheads together, "I love ya more than anything."

He kissed my forehead and we broke apart.

"I'll be back later tonight." Billy announced as he gathered up his keys, pack of cigarettes and lighter off of the kitchen counter.

"Can I come...please?" I asked with saddened eyes.

"No." Billy growled.

"Why?!" I asked, seeing annoyance spread across Billy's face. "What are you doing now that I can't come?! I'm bored" I whined.

Billy shoved his phone in the back pocket of his jeans before fumbling with his cigarette pack, unwrapping it and placing an unlit cigarette between his lips, "Then fuckin' decorate the tree."

"With what? You want me to magically pull out some lights and decorations from my ass? We have nothing. I'm stuck here, alone, with noth-"

"Here." Billy hissed in a muffled tone caused from the cigarette between his lips, "Go and buy ya fuckin' decorations." He mumbled, tossing me cash.

I smiled widely as I counted the cash in my hands. I could get a lot of lights and decorations with three hundred bucks. My eyes scanned the livingroom, picturing colourful christmas lights and decorations hung up, stockings hung up and the tree fully decorated with twinkling lights. Yup, I was going to turn the Darley residence into a decked out Christmas residence.

"Billllyyyy..." I whined.

Billy sighed loudly in annoyance, "What?"

"Can you pick me up burger king pleaaaase?" I begged, batting my eyelashes.

Billy closed his eyes and sighed again, rubbing his temples with his thumbs, "I can't. Go with Meg and get some."

I already knew that was going to be his answer but frankly I was just annoying him on purpose because I knew he was in a hurry to go and do whatever it was that he had to go and do. When I didn't say anything else, Billy made his way over to the front door and opened it, turning to look at me one more time before leaving.

"Thank you for the money. You didn-"

"That's my job." Billy cut me off, lighting the cigarette that was between his lips and blowing the smoke outside.

I stared down at my socks and pursed my lips as I slowly stared back up in Billy's direction, "Are we ever gonna get out of this life?"

Billy lowered his eyes and stared back outside, "Someday."

Image

Surprisingly Christy actually came with Megan and I to go Christmas shopping today. Despite how shitty I currently felt, I'm able to put the thought of throwing up away so that I can actually enjoy myself for once. Yes, my morning sickness is gone but I still find myself having 'sick' days more often than none.

It was a last minute decision between Megan and I but we decided that we're going to throw a "Christmas Dinner" at mine and Billy's place this year. So basically were going to be feeding the three of us and Billy and his original boys - Spink, Jamie, Bodie, Heco, Baggy, Jack, and Dog - minus Tommy for obvious reasons... rest in peace you tattooed face asshole.

"So we got the decorations, the turkey and all the food... we're good to go, right?" Christy asked, loading the last bit of groceries into the trunk of Meg's car.

"Yeah, I feel like shit, let's go back to my place." I murmured followed by a yawn.

"Ah... just one more stop." Megan announced as she climbed into the car.

Christy and I both followed her actions and shivered. I held out my hands in front of both heaters and winced. It was definitely getting colder out and I was hoping that Boston would get some snow before in time for Christmas, but judging by what I've been told... Boston's weather is bi-polar. Being from Michigan, I'm use to snow... so having a Christmas without snow is just odd to me.

The drive to wherever it was Megan was taking us was silent. Megan hummed along to the radio while Christy sat in the backseat texting whoever it was that she's been seeing. I'd glance back at Christy through the rear-view mirror every chance I got, just to notice how tired she looked. Of course, she still was one of the most knock out looking women I've ever known, but despite her done up face and hair, she looked tired like she hadn't slept for a few days. Maybe Billy was right? Maybe's she's back doing cocaine again which for most people is just a casual party favour except for her, she made it a problem. She almost reminded me of how Heco is whenever he's coming off the drugs but nah... Christy would never do anything harder than cocaine.

At least I hope not 

"Please tell me you're not making me go shopping..." I whined as the mall parking lot came into view.

Megan smirked as she parked the car and looked at me, raising a finger up, "Oh...oh... do you hear it?"

"Hear what?" I asked in confusion.

"Listen." Megan replied, opening her car door.

"Oh god..." I whined as I heard the familiar 'Have a Holly Jolly Christmas' playing through the mall speakers. "The fact that we can hear it from all the way out here... makes me not want to go even more."

"Come on Grinch." Megan chuckled as she got out of the car.

"You love Christmas." Christy stated as she too got out of the car.

"I do.. I just hate shopping..." I replied in a mumble.

"Hey maybe you can sit on Santa's lap and ask for a law abiding citizen for a boyfriend!" Christy said sarcastically as we walked into the mall.

I bit my tongue, knowing that I could say something back to her that would shut her up but I knew better than to say anything. Today was a good day and I don't need the unneeded drama between my best friend and I over something as petty as a joke.

The mall was lit up with twinkling Christmas lights and Christmas trees were set up everywhere. People were rushing through stores buying last minute Christmas gifts - wearing Santa Clause hats. Christmas music played loudly and people jingled bells trying to get people's attention to donate to charity. There were so many "Santa's" that I felt like I was in some sort of Christmas twilight zone.

"We should probably split up so I can get both of your guys' Christmas presents" I suggested dully.

Christy shrugged, "I guess so."

"Well... you guys call my cell when you're done shopping." Megan replied with a shrug.

Christy and Megan were the easiest to shop for - tattoo ointment, Victoria's secret gift cards and voila! Billy on the other hand... not so much. I wanted to get him something meaningful because something tells me that he's never really had much of a Christmas before.

After what seemed like forever, I finally found Billy's gift. However, I didn't buy it yet... I need a couple days to think on it before I make the decision. I want this to be special and meaningful... I think this is the one, I really do.

"What the hell?..." I whispered to myself as I sat down at a table, staring across the food court to see Christy standing next to Heco.

I watched closely as Heco got closer and closer to Christy, making me wonder if he was going to kiss her or something. Until he tried to be stealthy and place a baggy of something inside of her coat pocket.

My eyes widened, "What the fuck..."  
‹ Chapter 40


	42. chapter 41

"Burger ready!" A petite older woman exclaimed, cutting my sentence short.

I sighed and put on a fake smile as I looked at her while taking my food from her, "Thank you."

As I gathered up my food and reluctantly shoved the food in my purse, I kept an eye on Christy and Heco watching as he winked at her before leaving the food court. He didn't notice me, which I don't really care if he would have. Christy looked around and I ducked between two full tables, pretending to pick up napkins on the floor. The people sitting at the tables stared down at me like I was a weirdo and I chuckled at them awkwardly.

Once Christy was on the move, I jumped back up, picked up my shopping bags, adjusted my purse over my shoulder and made my way across the food court, tailing Christy across the mall. Between all of the commotion going on from people dressed as Elves shaking bells to get people to donate money to charity, people rushing through crowded stores to get their Christmas shopping done, a stage crew struggling to get some sort of stage set up in the middle of the mall with gang of impatient mom's with their young girls dressed up like they're pageant queens - ahh, some sort of weird ass Christmas kid pageant... - I managed to follow Christy all the way to the bathrooms on the third floor of the mall.

She pushed her way through the crowded bathroom and entered the first empty stall she could find. I glanced around, seeing a soccer mom arguing with her 4 maybe 5 year old daughter to put on her fake eyelashes for the pageant. I cocked an eyebrow up and shook my head, not my business... glad it's not my business. God, If I have a daughter, I hope she isn't into that type of shit. I don't even like putting fake eyelashes on myself, I can't imagine forcing a small child to wear them.

Not caring that we were in a crowded bathroom, I turned to my side and body checked the door to the stall Christy was in, sending it flying open and nearly smoking her in the face. She jumped back wide eyed and gasped in shock. I let my purse and shopping bags fall to our feet as I glared at her.

"Amber! What the fuck?!" Christy exclaimed.

She wasn't on the toilet and was still dressed, just standing there, making me know for sure that she was trying to do drugs in here. Classy girl.

"Got something to tell me?" I asked, panting from being out of breathe due to my adrenaline being so high and maybe the fact that I felt like I was carrying a pound of bricks on my stomach.

"What?" Christy asked arching a brow, "No, weirdo can you wait for me outside of the stall?"

"What the fuck are you doing with Heco?!" I asked, my temper starting to rise. "You doing heroin now?"

"Excuse the fuck out of me?" Christy became defensive. "What are you even talking about you dumb bitch. Why would I even talk to Heco?"

I knew she was lying, which was making me more pissed off. I've sat back way too long and allowed her drug problem to walk all over her and everyone around her. Hell, I got the fuck kicked out of me by two guys due to her drug problem. Enough is enough.

"Oh yeah? Then what's this?" I asked, shoving my hand into the pocket of her jacket that I watched Heco slip drugs inside of.

Christy instantly wrapped both of her hands around my wrist, holding it in place firmly so that I couldn't pull my arm back and pull out whatever was in her pocket that my hand was now wrapped around. We both gritted our teeth and fought against one another. The pageant mom and her screaming kid stopped what they were doing to stare into our stall and watch us with confused looks on their faces.

Finally, I broke free from Christy's grip and yanked my arm up, holding the bag in my hand up above my head, "AHA! I knew it. I fucking knew it!"

"Woah, Didn't expect to see you two in here, especially not both in the same stall with the door open." I heard Megan say from behind us, "I take it you're both done your Christmas shopping."

"Just as I fucking suspected!" I exclaimed, lowering the baggy in my hand to eye level, "Heroi- A- P-Pregnancy test?!"

For the first time in a long time, Christy looked at me with pleading eyes. I could tell right then and there that she was afraid and didn't need or want anyone knowing as it was bad enough that her own best friend caught her with a pregnancy test. Heco appears to be the mystery man that Christy has in her life. Given the fact that she use to be Joe's woman before he was killed, I can see why her and Heco have kept this on the down low. Billy already doesn't think much of Christy and only tolerates her because she's my best friend and his deceased baby brother's ex lover, so if he were to find out that Heco was screwing around with Christy, he'd lose it and Heco would end whatever it is that Christy has with him.

"A what?" Megan called out from over near the sinks.

Between the voices of all the people in the crowded bathroom, the sounds of taps running, toilets flushing, and the screaming pageant child blocked out what I had said which was good because Megan didn't hear anything about the pregnancy test that I found in Christy's coat.

"N-n-nothing." I stuttered, slipping the test back in Christy's jacket pocket.

Christy sighed in relief and mouthed the words 'thank you' to me. I nodded and patted her on the shoulder before bending down and picking up my purse and my shopping bags.

"My food is probably cold now." I grumbled, stepping out of the stall with Christy. "Meg, we'll meet you outside of the bathroom."

Megan nodded and went into the stall Christy and I were just in. Christy paused at the sink and stared at herself in the mirror, frowning and sighing before looking back at me. I folded my arms across my chest and chewed on my bottom lip, trying to process everything that I just found out.

"I TOLD YOU I WANTED PINK BOWS! YOU'RE SO STUPID!" The pageant kid screamed at her mother.

"Christy..." I started.

"Before you say anything, he knows better than to come around in public... I just... couldn't afford it right now." Christy mumbled.

"Well, I thought the blue bows would be pretty Darla! They go with your dress."

"Broke? Christy if you would have told me, I would have-"

"I HATE YOU!"

"You know my fake tits are costing me a lot of money!" Christy exclaimed.

"Darla, please... Mama's sorry..."

"Why didn't you tell me? You're my best friend Christy... I would have understood..." I sighed.

Christy frowned, "Would you? really? about Heco and I? I don't think so."

"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" The kid continued to scream.

"Of course I would have... you've had my back through everything." I responded, completely blocking out that brat's screams.

"Darla!"

"Amber... Even if that were true, Billy wouldn't understand." Christy murmured, staring down at her hands.

"I HATE YOU!!!"

"OKAY!" Christy shouted, spinning around to look at 'Darla' and her mother. "Does this thing want a xanax?!"

"What?! no?!"

"Then shut the fuck up." Christy replied sharply.

Both Darla and her mother went wide eyed, their mouths falling agape as they stared up at Christy in shock. A giggle escaped my mouth and I tried to hide it by turning my back to all of them and staring at the wall.

Christy sighed loudly, "Jesus Christ, finally! YOU!" She exclaimed pointing at Darla, "Wear the fucking blue bows and start respecting your mother. And you! Get a back bone and stop taking your daughters shit because if you don't, one day she's gonna be a teenager, whooping your ass because you wont let her borrow the car."

"Sorry mommy...." Darla muttered to her mother who nodded and stood up, placing the bows in Darla's hair.

Christy hooked arms with me and led me out of the bathroom, "That's how it's done."

Image

I didn't see Christy or Megan for a few days after that. Instead I just spent my free time alone, decorating the house - which surprisingly, Billy never said anything about it. The lights were strung on the tree and the branches were decorated, strings of colourful lights were hung everywhere, the windows had dollar store stick on decorations, and I had made my own small center piece for the table.

To say that I was becoming lonely, would be an understatement.

Today is Christmas eve and I still haven't decided if I'm going to go and purchase the present I want to get Billy or just get him something different in general. What does one even get for a gang lord? Is getting him something sentimental not a good idea? Will he be offended? Ugh.

"You gonna get that?" I asked in an annoyed tone.

"Doesn't look like I am." Billy replied in a smart ass tone, leaning back into the couch.

"Yeah, that's okay. Make your pregnant girlfriend get up and get the do-"

I was cut short by the sound of a gun shot going off. Within a blink of an eye, Billy was up off the couch and had me down on the floor, hovering over top of me. A shocked scream escaped my lips before I opened my eyes and stared up at Billy, seeing his chest heave in and out as he slowly got off of me and stood up, pulling his gun out of his waist band and creeping towards the front window. Chop was barking - yelping - and ran over next to Billy.

"Billy!" I shouted frantically.

Billy ignored me and pulled back the curtain slightly just to peer out the window. His jaw tightened as he looked around before tucking his gun back in his waist band and glancing back over at me with cold eyes, "Looks like the neighbours got some enemies."

"What?!" I hissed, slowly standing back up and trying to regain my balance.

"Crack whore next door must have got caught blowin someone, her ol' man just stormed off."

"So the rational thing to do around here is to fire off a gun and take off?! They have a child!" I exclaimed rushing over to the door.

"Where the fuck ya goin?!" Billy called out after me.

"I'm going to check on Billy!" I answered, slipping on my shoes. "What if he shot them?!"

Before I could even reach for the doorknob, Billy was behind me and had a hand wrapped around my upper arm and had me twirled back around to face him. I shut my eyes and sighed and aggravated sigh knowing that he wasn't going to make this simple task easy.

"They do this all the time. He's fine." Was all Billy said.

"How can you act like that's okay for a child to be around?!" I yelled.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, "You don't even have a fuckin' clue what it's like... don't go meddling in and make it worse for the kid."

"I'm not gonna sit back and-"

"You have to learn to mind your own fuckin' business."

"Says the one who threatened my old boss to get my tips back before we even were together!" I quipped and Billy let out a huff.

"Amber..." Billy half-sighed, half-warned.

I knew this was going to turn into a fight and I wanted to avoid that at all costs so I reluctantly surrendered, lifting my head and slowly, hesitantly, met Billy's eyes.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Mhm."

"Ya gonna be a bit-"

"No." I snapped, "And don't finish that question."

Image

Being home alone with my thoughts was the worse possible thing Billy could have allowed to happen, especially to a person like myself. I spent the rest of my morning scrubbing the bathrooms and the kitchen floor, wondering if I should go and do/say something to kid Billy's family or listen to my Billy and mind my own business. Naturally, I made things complicated and did a mix of the two... I went and found Billy.

"Hey kiddo, how're you?" I asked, sitting down next to Billy at the bus stop.

"H-hey.. where's.. where's Chop? Billy asked, avoiding lifting his head up to look at me.

"He's at home, couldn't bring him with me to go last minute Christmas shopping." I replied.

Billy nodded, staring down at his beat up old dirty converse shoes. He was trying to hide his face from me and I knew why... The purple mark across his cheek bone told me that his mother wasn't the only one who took the beatings from his father.

"You okay?"

Billy sighed and finally lifted his head up to look at me, "I'm okay."

A frown formed on my face as I wrapped my arm around the kid, "Come on. Let's go get some grub at the food court and go shopping."

"I don't have any money..." Billy mumbled, turning his head and looking off in the distance.

"It's on me." I assured him.

"I can't go looking like this... It's Christmas eve... the mall is going to be so busy... everyone will see me like this."

I pursed my lips together and nodded, "You're right."

"-But the way I see it, we have two options."

"Which are?" Billy asked dully.

"You can sit out here in the cold or we can get on the bus, go to the mall, eat a bunch of food and get you some new shoes for Christmas." I answered with a shrug, "But the decision is all yours."

Billy sighed and stared down at his shoes knowing he definitely couldn't turn down my offer, "Okay.. but on one condition..."

"What's that?" I asked, trying to hide the smile that was fighting to form on my face.

"You have to get a photo with Santa."

"Me? my pregnant ass will snap Santa." I exaggerated.

Billy giggled and my heart warmed at the sound of his laugh, "Fine then, the photobooth!!"

"Why!" I exclaimed, watching as his eyes lit up. "I'm not even wearing makeup!"

"We can take the Santa photo or photobooth photo together! Because then I'll aways have something to remember you by."

I laughed, unsure of what it was behind what he meant, "Alright, kiddo. You got yourself a deal."


	43. chapter 42

Me and kid Billy successfully managed to have a memorable Christmas Eve together. I purchased my Billy's gift and kid Billy's new shoes. Having the heart that I do - which I somehow still have - made me want to take kid Billy away from his abusive father and crack addicted mother and adopt him myself, regardless of us only being like 11 years apart.

He's a young boy with so much potential - he's incredibly smart, he's the funniest kid I've ever known, he's compassionate and has such a big heart for a child who's grown up in a world that he's now accustomed to. Much like my Billy, really. I'd hate to see this Billy grow up to be ruthless, uncompassionate and hateful just like Billy Darley, all because of his parents.

Unfortunately, history is bound to repeat itself.

Yawning, I slowly opened my eyes and rolled over to see that Billy was sound asleep beside me, laying on his stomach, his arms under his pillow. A smile crept across my face as I snuggled up closer to him and gently blew on his nose, watching as his scrunched his brow but continued to sleep.

"Babe.." I whispered.

"Billy..." I sang quietly.

"Billy."

"Billy?"

"BIILLLL?"

"William?"

"Is that your name or is it just Billy?"\

"Bill-"

I giggled when a loud sigh exited Billy's mouth and he slowly opened his eye lids and glared at me between squinted eyes, "What?"

"Morning." I replied cheerfully as he rolled onto his back and stared at me.

"Mornin'." He repeated in a husky, tired tone. "Why are ya up so early?"

"It's Christmas!" I exclaimed, rolling on top of him and straddling his hips.

Billy smirked and placed his hands on my hip bones, "Keep doin that and-"

"And nope!" I cut him off, climbing off of him and staggering over to the closet, "Not on Christmas morning!"

"What better way to celebrate Christmas." Billy mumbled, kicking his legs over the bed and reaching for his cigarettes and lighter on the night stand. Billy placed a cigarette between his lips and lit the end, his cheeks caving in as he inhaled a long drag, "What's that?"

I sat down on the edge of the bed next to Billy and waved my hand in front of my face trying to fan away the cigarette smoke, "It's a Christmas present."

"And it's yours."

"Mine?" Billy asked dully, cigarette hanging out one side of his mouth as he spoke. I handed him the nicely wrapped present and smiled anxiously, "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Open it!" I exclaimed.

Billy pulled the cigarette out from in between his lips and flicked his ashes in the ashtray on the nightstand before placing it back between his lips and staring down at the present. I folded my hands in my lap and chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I watched Billy slowly and delicately unwrap the present. His expression remained the same as he looked over the now unwrapped present in his large hand. It was a double framed photo that had the photo over top of our child's crib of Billy and Joe together as kids, and the bottom photo was the last and most recent photo of Joe and Billy together.

Billy sucked in a shaky breathe as his thumb caressed over the bottom photo of him and Joe. Suddenly I felt unsure if this present was a good idea or not. Was it too soon? Was Billy still touchy over the subject of Joe?

"He shouldn't be dead." Billy mumbled due to the cigarette between his lips, finally breaking the silence between the two of us. "He fuckin' should be here still."

"Billy..." I whispered, reaching out and placing my hand on his shoulder.

Billy flinched at my touch and tightened his jaw as he placed the photo frame on the night stand. He exhaled a deep breathe, a sigh almost, and sucked back hard on his cigarette. I watched in awe as Billy pulled the cigarette out and put it out in the ashtray before leaning his head back and exhaled a cloud of smoke upwards.

"I'm glad I got that mother fucker."

I gulped knowing that Billy was referring to Charlie whom I still have yet to mention is alive and out there somewhere probably plotting his revenge against Billy, his boys and most certainly me. My heart started to thump against the inside of my chest, my hands became clammy and the room started to feel like it was closing in on me. I need to tell Billy but I can't bring myself to tell him something that might not even matter... Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and Charlie will be like "Oh shit, this fucker shot me in the chest, I better not go fuck with him again in case he shoots me again and I become fuckin' swiss cheese." But... let's be honest...

"There's money in my wallet if ya wanna get yourself somethin' tomorrow." Billy stated dully, changing the subject.

"Boxing day shopping while pregnant doesn't sound fun." I murmured, realizing that Billy had either forgot to get me anything for Christmas or just didn't bother to. I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek and looked around the room as I ran my fingers through my messy hair, "I'm gonna go have a shower. Christy will be here in an hour to help me get Christmas dinner ready."

Billy just nodded slowly and laid back down in bed. I frowned at him as I gathered up some clean clothes to wear after my shower. Today has always been a shitty day for me, even though I adore Christmas, I hate it at the same time. Mostly because I find my mind start to drift over to my family, wondering how they're doing, what they're doing... and if they miss me/also wish things were different.

I don't like to talk about my family, not because I'm the black sheep/disappointment of the family, but because it hurts. My brother and my sisters always were straight A students, never got in trouble like I have in the past, never were belittled like I was due to the fact that I'm literally a nervous wreck around all of them and often do stupid things and end up embarrassing myself in  
front of them trying to impress them and or gain their approval.

Shane saved me from my family. I know, Shane? Really? It's true, Shane really did. You see, it wasn't always horrible with Shane, in fact at first he was incredible...

Christy had just moved away and I had fallen into a horrible stage of depression. I was still living at home and the only time I found myself leaving my bedroom was to shower or go to work - where I met Shane. The cute, chiselled jaw, dark brown hair, sun kissed tanned farm boy who would come to the restaurant I worked at every Friday night for a beer and burger, suddenly became my fuck in his truck to 'wow, I really actually fucking love this guy'.

We'd spend hours in the middle of nowhere, sprawled out on some blanket in the box of his truck or in a field somewhere, staring up at the stars and holding eachother. To me, he was perfect. There was once when we were together out for a random drive when my overly protective/strict father called me yelling because it was getting late and I hadn't answered my phone the past few times that he had tried to call. Naturally, I began to panic because Shane and I were driving out of town and my dad wanted me home immediately.

"Amber, you're an adult now... you make your own decisions." Shane had told me.

Then a few short days after that, Shane came and got me and my belongings while my dad was at work. It took a lot of courage to just leave, but I felt free and happy for the longest time. Everything was finally going good, Shane was my best friend and he made me incredibly happy. However, be that as it may, Shane's true colours started to show shortly after that...

The littlest things would set Shane off. If I smiled at a guy walking past me on the street, if I was too friendly with the male cashier at the store, if I talked to any of my male friends. The first time Shane hit me was when my friend Julia jokingly texted me pretending to be some guy that I allegedly hooked up with. Shane didn't buy my explanation and he got so angry he punched a hole in our bedroom wall and ended up slamming me against the wall and backhanding me.

To say that I was shocked and horrified would be an understatement. I never thought he'd do that to me. I should have sucked it up then and there and went home, dealt with my family issues and got my shit together. But instead I decided to stay and allow the abuse to become more frequent whenever he was angry. At first I thought he was bipolar and only did it when he was in a rage because whenever he was in a good mood, everything was okay... but turns out, I was his punching bag, not his "love".

If I could go back in time and punch myself in the head and make myself realize that just because he buys you things and says "sorry" doesn't mean he'll stop. Then again, I guess everything happens for a reason. Sure, Billy isn't exactly Romeo but regardless of his life style and the bullshit that comes with it... I'm safe with him. I'm the safest I'll ever be in life when I'm beside him. I love him... I'm in love with a criminal... Jesus Christ... what is my life?! 

"May I help you?" I asked in annoyance as Billy walked into the bathroom. I didn't even have to peer my head out the curtain to know it was him, "What?"

"Joinin' ya."

"Apparently." I rolled my eyes, standing under the water.

Billy smirked as he watched the water drops run down my chest. My frown quickly turned into a sly smirk as Billy took a step closer to me and placed his hand flat on the shower wall, his arm extended out next to my head. His piercing blue eyes looked like they were burning a hole through my head.

I licked my bottom lip and cleared my throat, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Billy didn't answer me, instead he leaned his head in and crashed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, deepening the kiss. He smiled smugly against my mouth as I moaned into the kiss. His free hand ran up my back and his fingers intertwined with my hair, pulling my head back slightly so that he could kiss along my jaw line and down my neck to my collarbone. Clamping my eyes shut tight to avoid water getting in my eyes, I whimpered as Billy's teeth grazed my skin.

My sour mood definitely changed for the better almost instantly.

Image

"So?" I asked staring at Christy expectantly.

Christy continued to mash the potatoes and stared back at me with wide eyes, "What?" She hissed.

"Did you... you know." I pressed, carefully taking the turkey out of the oven. I frowned as I thought about the time I burnt my arm on the oven door and Joe argued with me to let him see the burn but I refused. God, I fucking miss Joe.

"Did I what?" Christy asked struggling to mash the potatoes, "Kay seriously... why the fuck are these not like...mashed potatoes?"

I frowned and handed Christy a potato masher, "Did you take the test?"

"Jesus Amber why don't you just scream it out? And no, I haven't. I will tomorrow."

"Christy..."

"Don't start."

"I'm just-"

"Merry Christmas!" Megan squealed, interrupting our conversation. "Sorry I'm late! I would have helped you with dinner, Amb." She added, giving me a quick hug.

"Oh God." Jack groaned coming into the kitchen and laying eyes on Christy, "You're letting her cook? We're all gonna die."

"Fuck off." Christy snapped.

"Feisty." Jack smirked giving Christy a quick hug, "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah." Christy grumbled under her breathe. "Muffin's room looks nice. I snook a peak when I went to the bathroom."

"He did it." I nodded motioning over to where Billy was sitting.

Christy raised her brows and scoffed, "Really?"

"Not even kidding."

"Well.. I'll be damned." She murmured.

I hadn't been listening in on Billy's conversation with Bodie and Baggy until I heard Baggy say Joe's name. My eyelids closed instantly and a sigh escaped my lips as I knew this wasn't going to end very well... especially on Christmas, which I'm assuming is already a painful/shitty holiday for Billy as it is.

Billy sniffed, his lips smashed together in a thin straight line as he leaned his head back and listened to Baggy bring up that if it would have been anyone but Charlie's little brother, maybe Joe would be sitting here today. Both Christy and I winced as we awkwardly waited for Billy to retaliate. Baggy was too stupid to be being rude, he just never thinks before he speaks. Bodie's eyes widened in surprise, surprised that Baggy hadn't caught on to Heco's constant coughs trying to get him to shut up or change the subject.

"You think I don't fucking know that?" Billy asked. "You think I don't fucking think about that every fucking day of my life?" Billy's voice raised, no Boston slang or anything in his tone.

Jamie closed his eyes and sighed while Dog shook his head warningly at Baggy. Baggy finally caught on and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, leaning back in his chair and nodding slowly. I'm pretty sure that even the new boys Billy recruited in his gang to do the cooking of the drugs at "The Office" are smarter than Baggy when it comes to talking to Billy. You'd think after growing up with Billy and seeing how he is, knowing how he is, he'd know better... maybe it's because of that that he feels comfortable enough to do so.

"Food sure smells good, real fuckin' good." Bodie changed the subject, looking back at me from over his shoulder.

"Thanks." I replied quietly and shyly as Billy downed his drink.

"Sorry Billy," Baggy apologized not making eye contact with Billy.

"Just shut up." Billy replied sternly.

Megan took the initiative to get up and help Christy and I place the food out on the table in front of everyone so that the subject would finally be fucking dropped. Surprisingly, the awkward aroma throughout the house disappeared as everyone began to dish their plates up and sit down and eat. Everyone was talking again, laughing and having a good time. I was so busy mowing down on food that I hadn't even realized Billy was just sitting there, his left hand on the table while his other hand held the cigarette he was smoking.

My eyes remained on Billy as he exhaled smoke out through his nose and rubbed his temples before taking one last drag off his cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray. His eyes caught my gaze and he winked, moving his hand to cover my right hand that was placed on top of the table as well.

I glanced around the table to make sure no one was watching before leaning in next to his ear, "I love you."

His thumb caressed the top of my hand as he clicked his jaw to the side and stared up at me, "Ditto."

My expression fell and my heart fell even further, making me pull my hand away. Billy rolled his eyes at me and leaned back in his chair, yanking a cigarette out of his pack and placed it in his mouth. Be damned if his piss poor attitude was going to ruin this dinner. I'm going to be the bigger person and just ignore his attitude. I mean, it's not like he's gonna purposely try and piss me off more than he already ha-

"Now what's your fuckin' problem?" Billy asked as I stared over at him, my jaw falling agape.

"Me?! ME?! I'm the one with the problem?" I quipped, shaking my head. Billy smirked, ignoring the irony dripping from my tone.

"Your food's good." Billy stated dully.

"Yeah?" I asked cocking an eyebrow, "How would you know? You haven't ate anything off your plate."

"I can smell it."

"You a fucking hound dog now or something?"

Billy cracked a smile for the first time tonight, sitting up straight and wrapping his arm around the back of my chair, "I love you too." He whispered, kissing the side of my jaw.

For the rest of the night, Billy was actually "Cheerful". He didn't make much smart ass comments towards me, which was huge for him. He engaged in conversation with everyone - including Christy - surprising not just her, but everyone sitting at the table.

Everyone stayed until after midnight, stuffed with dinner and desert and booze. Megan and Christy helped me do the dishes and as much as I love their company, I was never so happy when everyone was finally gone because I'm exhausted to say the least. Billy stayed downstairs, sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette and finishing off a bottle of beer. He looked to be in deep thought so I didn't say anything to avoid an argument and just made my way upstairs to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Being pregnant sucks... sucks for me. I don't know how most women have this "Glow" everyone talks about. There's no God damn glow for me. I looked tired, my hair is growing super long and thick... which is probably the only nice thing as I love long hair and hate wearing hair extensions. I never wear makeup anymore to the point where if I was to pick up even a eye shadow brush, I'd have no idea what to do with it. I'm pale, I feel sick whenever an odd smell is around... it just... it fucking sucks. I think I'm immune to the pains that coming with vomitting or heartburn. Honestly, fuck heartburn - it's the worst thing about pregnancy.

"Jesus!" I shouted, jumping as I stared up at the bathroom mirror to see Billy standing behind me leaning against the door frame, "You scared the fuck out of me!"

"What's that shit?" Billy asked nodding towards my charcoal toothpaste.

"It's charcoal based toothpaste... that's why my teeth are so white for being an ex cigarette smoker." I explained as I put the cap back on the toothpaste. I felt him take a step closer towards me to the point where his chest was practically almost touching my back.

"And that?" He whispered in my ear, nodding at my makeup bag. I shivered as he pressed his lips against the back of my neck as soon as I pulled my hair up into a high messy bun, exposing my neck.

"Where do you want me to begin? I could talk about that for hours." I replied, laughing faintly.

Billy kissed the top of my shoulder before kissing the side of my neck and running one of his hands up to the front of my neck, placing his hand over my throat - not applying pressure, but leaning my head back - I closed my eyes and let my jaw relax as he started to suck on my skin.

"Billy...I'm tired." I whispered as I turned and looked at him.

Billy slipped his free hand in the front of my shorts under the waste band of my underwear, "Doesn't feel like you are." I blushed as I caught his reference. "Bend over the counter."

"I'm not bending over the fucking sink, are you serious?" I hissed, spinning around and glaring up at him. "I'm pregnant" I continued, crossing my arms over my chest. "Did you forget that while you were thinking with your dick?"

"Furthermore.... I'm not having sex with you tonight. For one, you totally forgot Christmas." I ranted, pushing past him and heading into the bedroom. "Not that I care, like I mean, you get me whatever I want whenever I want it... But seriously?! Not even just that!" I continued to bitch, pulling the blankets down so I could climb in bed.

"Ditto?! What the fuck was that?!" I shouted, plopping down into bed, staring up at the ceiling as Billy undressed and climbed into bed beside me. "I already feel like fucking Jabba the hut! When you say shit like that it makes me feel like you don't love me because I'm a fat horse!"

"AND - furthermore, I'll have you know, I've only gained ten pounds. I'm still smaller than most girls, so ha! Not fat, I'm just pregnant." I continued. "AND! I'll be a fucking milf whenever I give birth, I can promise you that."

"Not to mention, my tits will get bigger apparently so.. better shape up or you're gonna miss out." Billy smirked at my venting and reached over to the night stand for what I'm assuming would be his last cigarette for the night.

I rolled over and choked back tears, "Do you even realize how much I do care for you and fucking love you?! Saying ditto hurt my feelings. Like do you even care? Do you even lov-"

Billy silenced me by slipping a ring on ring finger. My eyes widened as he sniffed hard and leaned back. I held my hand up and stared down at the ring before glancing up at him.

"Are you..."

"Merry Christmas."

"Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?"

"Do ya love me?" He asked seriously.

I gulped and nodded, "Y-yes".

"Are you asking me to be your wife?" I asked shyly.

"Ya pretty much already are."

I frowned, "Could you try and be romantic for once."

Billy sighed, "Jesus Christ, You know I'm not good at this type of shit."

"Will ya fuckin' marry me or not?"

A huge grin spread across my face as I rolled on top of him and planted my lips over his. He kissed me back hungrily, probably assuming that I was going to actually have sex now - which I was. I giggled and broke the kiss, staring at him, "Yes."


	44. chapter 43

A few months had gone by and surprisingly I was content although I'm pregnant as fuck, Charlie's still out there somewhere and my life is a fuck show... I'm somehow able to keep myself content. Being engaged to Billy is apparently hard to fathom for everyone who knows the two of us. It was hard for them to accept originally that Billy was dating someone let alone having a child with someone, but to find out that it was Billy who proposed marriage... that was a lot for everyone to take in.

It's now February 13th and I'm only a couple months away from giving birth. I'm nervous, anxious and somewhat scared - not of giving birth surprisingly - but scared about how drastic my life is going to change. I know I'll be a good mother, hell, I'll be the best mother I could ever imagine... but I also have to decide what kind of life I want my child to grow accustom to. Billy grew up in this life... I didn't... I don't know if I want my child to have a life that it's father had.

Not saying Billy will be anything like Bones was, but... when I think about it, Billy has become Bones. He took Bones place after he fucking killed Bones - taking all of Bones 'responsibilities' and business (including his drug selling on the side).

I already know I'll do whatever I have to do to protect my child and give my child the best life that they deserve... even if that means telling Billy that enough is enough and he has to give up the life that he has. Sadly, I know he will never do just that... So... The thought of leaving and starting new without Billy has crossed my mind more than once. I just don't know... maybe it's the hormones talking but holy shit, reality is setting in... we're about to bring a child into a world that's already messed up for the two of us.

"He made me toss his fucking salad." Christy gagged.

"What?!" I exclaimed at a loss of words, "You didn't... Christy that's fucking gross."

"I made him like scrub himself first..."

"That's...man what the fuck." I said before busting out into laughter.

Christy joined in on my fit of laughter and snorted before being able to speak, "Heco is into some weird shit dude."

"Sounds like it." I giggled.

We both laughed until we were almost crying and to the point where I almost peed. When we were done laughing about Christy and Heco's fucked up sexual life, we both sighed at the same time and clamed down.

"Can you just come over?" I begged holding my cellphone with my shoulder and my cheek as I folded baby clothes, "I don't want to do this myself."

"Where's Billy?" Christy asked, exhaling smoke on the other end of the phone.

Smiling, I put the rolled baby socks in the drawer and exhaled a shaky breathe, "Who knows."

"Well what the hell? He doesn't sell anymore, he's got Bodie, Baggy, Jamie, Heco, Dog, Jack, fuck I could go on with the list of people he has to sell for him now that he's got new guys cooking drugs... what does he even do this late? It's like two." Christy trailed off.

"Exactly my point... Don't know and I don't want to know." I murmured, suddenly feeling down.

"Well, it's not like he's out fucking someone."

"How do you know?" I questioned in a snappy tone.

Christy giggled, "Guys who cheat on their girlfriends don't buy them pretty rocks like the one on your finger, baby."

"I beg to differ.." I mumbled, staring down at my engagement ring.

"Kay Debby Downer..." Christy sighed, "Can I go to bed now?"

"No!" I pouted, "I'm so bored here alone..."

"Amber it's two in the fucking morning... go to bed."

"But I can't sle- what the fuck was that?"

"What?"

"Someone's banging at my window downstairs..." I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Is it Billy?" Christy asked.

Gulping, I tip toed over to the window and pulled back the curtain ever so slightly to see that our driveway was empty and Billy's car wasn't there, "No...Christy..."

"Amber... I'm waking Jack and Meg up, we'll be there asap. Call the police." Christy barked.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and hurried out of the baby's room and into mine and Billy's where I immediately went into the closet and pulled open my closet doors. My hands were shaking and I had struggled to hold the phone with one hand while reaching up to grab a studded black purse of mine that sat on top of the shelf in the closet.

"Amber?!" Christy shouted.

"Remember that little gift you gave me?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"What gift? Amber are you alright?!"

"The one we got from Bones." I replied sharply.

"The gun?!" Christy exclaimed. I could now hear Jack and Megan in the background shooting questions off at Christy about my well-being.

Before I had the chance to reply I heard my back door slowly creak open from downstairs. A petrified whimper exited my mouth and my knees buckled as I picked up the gun and cleared my throat, "Christy... he's in my house..."

"Who?! Amber call the police! We're on our way!" Christy yelled.

I didn't lock the back door like the idiot I am, and Billy never uses the back door, he has no reason to. My good luck has finally ran out and my past has now caught up to me.

"Charlie." I whispered, licking my lips, "When you get here... if I don't answer when you call out to me... call 911..."

"Amber?!"

I pulled my cellphone away from my ear and swallowed hard as I ended the call, tossing my phone carelessly onto the bed and placed both hands on the gun. My heart was racing, my hands became clammy around the gun and it took all my strength both mentally and physically to make myself walk out of the bedroom and into the upstairs hallway.

Slowly and steady, I tip toed down the upstairs hall and down the stairs to the livingroom. I gulped as I glanced around the livingroom seeing that nobody was there. My heart sped up, pounding against my chest even harder than it already was. My eyelids clamped shut as I exhaled a nervous sigh, making my way over to the back door. I pursed my lips together as I took the gun off safety and extended my arms out, ready to shoot at anything.

When nothing jumped in the house at me, I groaned and kicked the back door closed, blaming the "intrusion" on the wind blowing harshly outside. Lowering the gun, I turned on my heel and gasped as I was spun back around and my back pulled to someone's chest and a hand clamped over my mouth.

Without hesitating, I bit down on the person's hand and fought to spin around so I could get a clear shot.

"It's me!" Billy shouted, ripping the gun from my right hand.

Jack, Megan and Christy ran through the house, stopping dead in their tracks as they made eye contact at Billy. Christy sighed in annoyance while Megan sighed in relief. Jack nodded at Billy before motioning Christy and Megan to follow him back out of the house.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice cracking as I spun around and pounded my fists against his chest. "You fucking asshole!" I spat, beginning to cry.

Billy laughed as I bawled against his chest, my face turning beat red and eyes puffing up from how hard I was bawling. Casually, Billy wrapped one arm around my waist and straightened out his back as he held up the gun he had just ripped out of my hand. My sobbing came to a halt as I stared up at Billy and swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my throat.

Billy sucked in a breathe and snorted as he leaned his head to the side, stretching while looking over the gun. I pulled myself away from Billy and took a step back, wrapping my arms around myself as I watched his facial expression quickly wipe anyway any sign of humour.

"No serial number." Billy murmured, breaking the silence between the two of us.

I licked my lips and ran my fingers through my hair before shrugging and staring up at Billy who was staring a hole right through me, "It's... it's mine. I.."

"Where'd you get it?" Billy asked straight to the point.

"I have it because of everything that happened you can't expec-"

"Where'd you get the gun, Amber?" Billy asked, squinting his eyes in annoyance as he stared back at me.

Turning my head away from Billy, I sighed in defeat, "Bones."

Billy gritted his teeth at my confession and narrowed his eyes at me as he wrapped his arm back behind him and placed my gun in his belt loop. I could see that he was angry, clearly, but oddly enough I don't think he was angry at me for going to Bones of all people for a gun. He clenched his jaw before sighing deeply and reaching around and pulling the gun out of his belt loop and holding it out at me. I stared down at the gun in the palm of his large hand, cocking an eyebrow up as I slowly made eye contact with Billy again.

"Ya know how to use it?" He asked.

I nodded slightly, "Pretty simple... point and shoot."

Billy closed his eyes and sighed an aggravated sigh, "If it were that simple ya woulda shot me instead of having it pulled from ya fuckin' hand."

"Don't do that shit to me, seriously. I'm carrying your child in case you forgot." I reminded him. "And don't bitch at me for taking extra precautions because of all of the shit you dragged me into!"

"I didn't drag you into shit," He stated simply, "You chose to be here."

"Oh yeah let's fucking start this again," I snapped. "Now what the fuck are you involved in that I have to stress about?! There's absolutely no reason for you to be home this late."

I took a step forward as he turned his head away from me and sucked in a deep breathe, knowing that I was about to turn into a raging bitch again. I sniffed the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of his cologne mixed with cigarettes. There was no trace of liquor on his clothes or his breathe for that matter.

"You clearly haven't been drinking." I stated firmly folding my arms across my chest, "You took over Bones' spot, moving your boys up to just dealers as you brought in more members to cook the drugs. Where have you been?"

"Drop it, Amber." Billy half sighed, half warned.

He took a step back away from me and reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, pulling one out and placing it in his mouth. He sucked back hard on the cigarette as he shut his flip-lighter and shoved it back into the pocket of his jeans, smirking back at me as he locked eyes with me and exhaled smoke in my direction, intentionally trying to piss me off even more.

"If you're not going to answer me, I'm going to leave." I threatened, not meaning what I was saying but yet mad enough to say it.

Billy ripped the cigarette out from between his lips and leaned his head towards my face, glaring hard at me, "You're not fucking leaving."

"You're going to get a surprise then if you don't answer me." I retorted, raising my eyebrows at him.

We both closed in the distance between the two of us and glared at each other. I hated when he kept things from me, I hated when he'd intentionally try to piss me off, I hated how he didn't take my worry for our child growing up in this life, seriously. I hated how I had to hide the fact that I knew Charlie was alive in order to avoid a war between Charlie and Billy. I hated how at times like this when I want nothing more than to punch him in the face, I want to kiss him instead and pretend everything is going to be just fine.

"Don't worry 'bout it."

"Billy..." I trailed off in a warning tone. "Then you're gonna have to be okay with only seeing me again when I call you to tell you I'm in labour because I will leave if you continue to keep me in the dark."

"You think this is a joke Billy.. it's not. I watched you kill your own father for fuck sake. This is our lives! What trouble are you in now?!" I whimpered in defeat.

"You really wanna fucking know?" He growled in annoyance.

"Yes" I whispered.

"Fine," He spat. "You became a distraction. Bones fuckin' saw that clear as day. Then he finds out ya fuckin' pregnant with my kid. It was only a matter of time before he got rid of the distraction."

"How did you-"

"Ya think I'm fuckin' stupid? I knew you went to Bones for guns." Billy cut me off.

My face dropped as I realized that Bones had thought about killing me, clearly he had threatened it to Billy once or twice. But while I was pregnant? with his own grandchild? Was he actually that twisted? I don't know... obviously he was.

"He was going to hurt me while I'm pregnant?" I asked, my voice cracking as I spoke. I licked my lips and blinked away tears, "With his own grandchild?!"

"Not hurt," Billy replied pressing two fingers mocking the shape of a gun against my forehead and pretended to pull the trigger.

"You knew he was going to kill me?!" I exclaimed, a few tears escaping my eyes. "-YOUR CHILD?!"

"Not my child, YOU." He yelled, "He was sick enough that he would have took away the only thing I fucking have in this life and leave me with a fuckin' kid to raise by myself."

"Killing that motherfucker wasn't the end to his fucking bullshit. He's got more fucking enemies than you could ever imagine. There. Ya fuckin' happy now? that's what I've been dealing with."

"Great!" I shouted throwing my hands up in the air, "Now our child is in danger AGAIN because of you!"

"Nothing is going to happen to the kid." Billy said calmly, "I protect what's mine."

"Clearly." I mumbled, referring to the night I watched Billy kill his own father.

I watched Billy's chest heave in and out as he looked away for a second before looking back down at me and extending his arm, placing his hand flat against the wall beside my head, "What do ya want from me?"

"I just want you." I whispered quietly. I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks and sniffled as I stared up into his piercing blue eyes, "...Alive"

Billy frowned and exhaled through his nose, resting his forehead against my own. My hormones went out of whack as I fell against his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. Billy did the unexpected and for the first time since I've known him, he pulled me into a sincere embrace, just to hold me and reassure me that everything was going to be okay without actually having to say it.

Billy rested his chin on the top of my head before kissing my tear stained cheek and nuzzling his face into my hair and the side of my neck. I shivered as his lips traced over my ear, "Nothing is going to happen to you or the kid. I promise."

"At the cost of what? you?" I whispered, squeezing him tighter. "What about you?"

"I'm right here, baby." He whispered back.

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"Glad you're not knocked up." Heco said as Christy plopped down on his couch beside him and he embraced her.

Christy was a mix of relieved and a little upset at the fact that she wasn't pregnant. But at the same time, she's mostly glad that she's not given the fact that she'd be pregnant with her deceased ex lover's good friend who just happens to be a heroin addict.

Christy gave Heco a weak smile as he held her hand up to his mouth as kissed her knuckles. Christy was wearing nothing but a thin white tank top and her boy shorts while Heco was shirtless and in his jeans. They had just finished having sex when Christy decided to take the pregnancy test while Heco shot up in the living room. To say that he was higher than a fucking kite right now would be an understatement.

Christy - who was also high, but not on heroin - giggled as Heco sang, "Gonna focus... on the... prey!" Heco sang loudly even though it had nothing to do with the song that was blasted throughout his run down apartment.

BOOM

A shotgun blast echoed throughout the apartment causing the door to swing wide open, and Christy and Heco's eyes both glued to the door which now had a huge hole blasted through it. Christy screamed in terror as a man holding a double barrelled shot gun ran into the apartment towards the two of them.

"What the FUCK?!" Heco shouted, pushing Christy away from him roughly.

"What the fuck?! Who the fuck?!" Heco stuttered as he sat up straight and stared at the intruder. His eyes widened as he finally realized who it was that was standing infront of him.

"...You?" Heco started, staring at the man in shock. "We fucking killed you!"

Charlie swallowed hard and panted heavily as he stared back at Heco, "What the fuck..." Heco repeated as his eyes stared down at a pistol on the coffee table in front of him.

Charlie's eyes widened as he watched Heco reach for the gun, but before he could grab it, Charlie fired the shotgun again, shooting the coffee table causing the gun to fly onto the floor and the glass from the table to fly up. Christy screamed again and Heco flew back into the couch.

"Fuckin' junky bitch." Charlie hissed in Christy's direction, slightly shaking his head in disgust.

The shotgun was now out of shells and there was no way in hell Charlie would have enough time to reach into his pocket, grab the shells and reload the shotgun. Instead, Charlie tossed the shotgun on the other couch, nearest to him and reached around behind him, pulling out a pistol as he ran towards Heco who had jumped down onto his knees reaching for the pistol again. Charlie stomped down on his hand and winced as Heco gurgled in agony.

"Go! Get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Charlie screamed at the Christy who instantly jumped up from the couch, leaving all her belongings and running straight out of Heco's apartment, not even so much as caring that she wasn't dressed.

Charlie then placed the barrel of the pistol against Heco's temple and gritted his teeth, still pushing his weight down on Heco's hand that was underneath his boot. Heco leaned his head back and growled in agony, his eyes shut and his mouth hung open.

"Where's Billy?" Charlie asked sternly.

"Fuck you." Heco replied in a low tone.

Without any thought Charlie pulled his arm back and slammed the gun down on Heco's head. Charlie jumped off of his hand and grabbed him by the throat and slammed him down onto the couch so that he was towering over top of him. Charlie's grip tightened around Heco's throat as one of Heco's teeth went flying out of his mouth from the gun smacking him in the face.

"That's my fucking tooth you asshole!" Heco spat, blood flying out of his mouth as he spoke.

"Tell me..." Charlie started as he placed the gun against the side of Heco's head and cocked it, "-WHERE THE FUCK HE IS!" He hollered, his grip tightening around Heco's throat even more.

"The office!" Heco gurgled.

"The office?! Where the fuck is that?!" Charlie hissed.

"It's-" Heco gasped, "It's the abandoned mental hospital." He gulped, "It's where we cook our shit dude..."

Charlie loosened his grip around Heco's throat slightly allowing him to talk clearer, "It's by the bridge on Stegius street! Alright..." Heco paused to gasp for air, "Stegius street!" He repeated.

Charlie stood tall, letting go of Heco's throat completely. He stepped back, his gun still pointed at Heco's head as Charlie glanced over to the floor where Heco's cellphone was. Heco was panting in fear and gasping for air from just being choked. Charlie picked up the cellphone and slapped it down on the center of Heco's bare chest.

Charlie cocked the gun and raised his brows down at Heco, "Call him."

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Meanwhile under the bridge where Billy use to sell drugs for his dad, Billy stood... selling drugs of course. Now that Billy had taken over Bones's position, selling wasn't something Billy was suppose to be doing anymore but given the fact that all his boys were out selling for him at different locations and Heco bailed yet once again.. Billy had no choice but to be here tonight even after the fight him and I had the night before.

"Good thing your daddy got you some training wheels so you don't have to rollerblade over here for your fuckin' sisters habit huh?" Billy mocked the guy in the car as he collected the cash from the guy and handed him the drugs.

"She's been a good customer of mine for awhile." Billy stated as the man slowly began to drive away, "I use to be a good customer of hers too!" Billy called out after the guy.

The man then sped off out of the area just as Billy's cellphone started to ring inside of his shirt pocket. "Fuckin' prick." Billy mumbled as he watched the guy speed off. Billy reached inside his pocket and pulled out his phone, narrowing his eyes as he read his cellphone screen to see that Heco was calling him.

Billy yanked the cigarette out from between his lips and exhaled smoke as he answered the phone and held it up to his ear, "Heco! You sandbagging son of a bitch! This is the second time this week-"

"Billy." Heco panted.

"-I had to cover for your ass!" Billy finished.

"BILLY!" Heco screamed.

Heco stared Charlie dead in the eye as he panted frantically, trying to form words together, "That fucker didn't die Billy... THAT FUCKER DIDN'T DIE BILLY!" Heco screamed.

"What the fuck are ya talkin' about?" Billy asked in annoyance as he took another drag off of his cigarette.

Heco panted frantically again, shaking as he spoke, "Hee says... He says your sentence... failed."

Billy froze dead in his tracks and slowly exhaled smoke out of his mouth, his world suddenly coming to a halt as he realized who Heco was reffering to. Billy pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek as his eyes shifted around, staying silent for a moment, trying to think of what to say.

Billy exhaled smoke out through his nose and licked his lips before speaking, "So what?"

There was a long pause before Charlie spoke,

"So this motherfucker." Charlie hissed as he pulled the trigger, shooting Heco point blank between the eyes.

Billy dropped his cigarette and instantly yanked the phone away from his ear as the startling sound of the gun going off echoed in to the phone. Billy's jaw tightened, his muscles in his face showing on his cheeks.

Billy panted as he stumbled backwards, turning to head towards his car, "Fuck."


	45. chapter 44

Running wasn't something Billy Darley did. Sure, he was in incredible shape for someone who doesn't attend a gym of any sort, but running for Billy was a chore. The only time Billy has ever ran in his life was when Joe was in trouble, in middle school gym class, or the rare - super rare - times that he felt his life was threatened enough that he had to run. This being one of those cases.

Billy had ran so fast to his car that he was even surprised at how fast his biker boots allowed him to move. His heart pounded against his chest as his foot pressed down hard on the gas peddle. Billy's left elbow rested on the door, his fist against his bottom lip and his chin. While his right hand gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning visibly white.

He cursed to himself under his breathe as he sped into the driveway barely putting his car in park and turning it off before climbing out and jogging towards the front door. Billy took long and determined strides across the main floor of the house before running up the stairs, skipping a stair each time.

A sigh of relief escaped Billy's mouth as he stood next to the bed and stared down at Amber laying there in a deep sleep. His chest was heaving in and out and his breathing was heavy as he tried to calm his breathing down a bit. Billy must have stood there for a solid ten minutes before he finally moved, kneeling down beside Amber's side of the bed and moving some strands of dark hair that had fallen in front of her face.

Amber stirred a little bit, blinking her eyes a few times before looking at him between squinted, half lidded eyes, "Billy? - Wh- what are you doing?"

"Happy Valentines Day." He whispered softly.

"Come to bed..." She yawned, stretching out her arms and reaching for him.

Billy let out a rugged breathe, "Gonna have a shower first."

You're a horrible liar, he thought.

"Okay." Amber murmured, flashing him a small smile.

Billy watched as Amber rolled over, her back facing him as he turned to leave, pausing, "Hey-"

"What?" She asked softly, sleepily.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Billy."

With that, he stepped out of the bedroom carefully closing the door behind him. He cursed again as he made his way down stairs to the main floor. He ran his hand over his shaved head, staring at the clock. It was only a matter of time before Charlie reached "The Office" if he hadn't already. He had hurry, he had to go, and he had to go now.

His eyes scanned the room, landing on notepad of Amber's that he assumed she used for grocery lists or some shit - literally the last thing on his mind right now. He grabbed it and grabbed the nearest pen he could find, drawing his brows together as he quickly jotted down a message to Amber. When he was done, he scratched the side of his neck before running downstairs where the laundry room was along with a bunch of unpacked boxes of Billy's from when he moved from his apartment to this place.

He was running out of time - he knew that - and he knew Charlie knew that. Especially since Heco's place wasn't that long of a drive from where the office is. There was no doubt in Billy's mind that Charlie wasn't already heading there. Of course he'd go there, why wouldn't he? He suspects Billy's main boys are still all there... little does he know Billy's boys no longer go there - they just sell for Billy - the new boys are the ones who are there cooking the shit. Innocent, new, YOUNG kids.

"Fuck sakes." Billy grumbled as he moved some boxes out of his way until he found the box that he was looking for.

Another gun.

He snorted and exhaled a deep breathe as he placed this one on the inside pocket of his jacket and felt around behind him where his beloved pistol always and still was. He made his way back up to the main floor of the house, grabbed the letter and jogged back upstairs to his and Amber's bedroom where Amber was now in a heavy, deep sleep.

A shiver creeped up his spine as he stared down at her. The only time his eyes left her body was when he glanced up to see that Amber had left the TV on. It was Kill Bill Vol. 2, the scene where Beatrix is saying goodbye to her daughter and that eerie song "About her" by Malcolm Mclaren is playing, lingering throughout the room. Billy ignored it and stared back down at Amber, his piercing blue eyes lingering up and down her body, landing on her growing stomach.

Frowning, he gently placed his hand on Amber's lower stomach, careful not to wake her. Her stomach fluttered and Billy pulled his hand back instantly. His eyes shot up at Amber to see that she was still sleeping. Billy knew that the baby was kicking, but that was the first time he's ever felt a baby kick... let alone his own.

Who would have thought that the angry looking yet striking look new waitress behind the bar at the Four Roses would become the most important person in his life - the love of his life - mother of his child. From that moment on he knew there was something about her that separated her from all the other women he had known, she was special and she was going to be his... it just took a little bit longer than he had expected.

But, she eventually became his. His woman that he would go to the end of Hell and back for. He just could never tell her that, yet hoped she was smart enough to figure out just how much she truly did mean to him. He loves her, he'd die protecting her. In fact, he's heading to do just that.

"I love you, Amber." Billy said in hushed, gruff voice as he knelt down and kissed her forehead.

Billy slowly rose to his feet and straightened out his back. Inhaling a short but deep breathe, his hand took hold of the cross that dangled around his chest. Slowly he lifted the cross necklace up from around his neck, taking it off completely.

He first placed the letter he had wrote for Amber, down on the end table next to his side of the bed followed by the keys to his beloved 1969 Ford fastback, and his cross necklace that he always wore.

Before Billy left the room he paused and glanced back at her for one last time, "I'm sorry"

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Three hours prior

"Fuck-" Charlie groaned leaning his head back against the headrest of his suburban, "This fucking hurts."

Everything on Charlie hurt - the area where Billy shot him, his back, his jaw, basically all of his joints were aching. He was way too young to be feeling this old, but given all the shit he's put his body through in the past year, it was no surprise that he'd feel these throbbing pains whenever the weather began to change.

Charlie leaned his head from side to side and sighed as his phone began to rang in his pocket. He sighed and shifted his body to one side as he pulled his phone out from the pocket of his jeans and glanced at the screen before sliding the accept button, "Hello?"

"Hey Charlie, It's Jimmy. I got that number you wanted me to find. It's uh it's a bar, called 'The Four Roses'. Charlie what's going on? You need me to call anyone?-"

"Thanks, Goodbye Jimmy." Charlie responded, clicking the top button of his iphone and carelessly tossing it onto the passenger seat.

The bar was dead, pathetically dead. Charlie almost laughed at how pathetic this bar was as he approached the bar doors. Charlie's club was a fucking palace compared to this small little dive in inner city Boston. This was Darley's turf and Charlie knew walking into this shitty bar wasn't the wisest idea. None of these people - the few that were here - were going to tell him what he wanted to know willingly. However, be that as it may, money talks... and money is something Charlie happens to have a lot of.

As soon as Charlie ripped open the bar doors, his eyes followed the sound of laughter and conversation coming from two men sitting at the empty bar and the bartender standing behind it. Charlie had heard of this place, it was run by a guy named Sammy who spent more money on coke that went up his nose than he did actually fixing up this dive of a bar he runs. Sammy was laughing and holding an empty beer mug in his hand with a white dish towel thrown over his shoulder. His laughter came to a sudden halt when one of the men he was talking to noticed Charlie standing at the doors.

The bar was dark, making it hard for Sammy to try and look over Charlie's face to see if he recognized him or not. Charlie straightened out his back, slightly wincing as a sharp pain irritated his bad shoulder. None the less, he held his head high and made his way over to in front of the bar. An eerie feeling crept inside of Charlie from the music that Sammy has blasted throughout the bar. The song title is called "Prodigal Sun" by the Black Angels. It's fitting... way too fucking fitting.

You could see the lump formed in Sammy's throat as he swallowed hard and made eye contact with Charlie, watching him like a hawk. Sammy kept his eyes glued onto Charlie as Charlie pulled the backpack he carried off from over his shoulder and slammed it down on top of the bar. Sammy narrowed his eyes and continued to wipe clean the mug in his hand.

Charlie blinked absent mindedly not even the slightest bit intimidated by Sammy's cold glare that he had on, "I'm looking for Billy Darley or any of his friends."

The two men sitting at the bar became tense as they stared from me over to Sammy, waiting to see what Sammy would do or say.

"No Inglés" Sammy replied in Spanish.

Liar, Charlie thought.

Of course he knew English and could speak it. Because there was no way any of Billy's boys were smart enough to speak Spanish to communicate with this fucker, and this was their hangout. Nice try, fucker.

Obviously Billy has given this fucker strict orders about not giving his or any of his boy's whereabouts out to anyone

Charlie's jaw tightened as he blinked dully and unzipped the backpack, pulling out a stack of cash held together by an elastic band. A guy like Sammy is money hungry... It's easy to tell, I mean come on, he runs a shit hole like this and snorts more cocaine than he even afford. Bribery is sure to get him talking. The man sitting at the bar stool closest to Charlie became even more tense as he scratched the back of his neck, realizing that Charlie meant fucking business. Sammy on the other hand, narrowed his eyes into a glare and slammed the glass mug down onto the bar and leaned forward.

Sammy held up his hand and waved a finger in front of Charlie's face, "Le dije que no hablo Inglés, hijo de puta. Lo tengo ahora, jefe?" Sammy hissed in Spanish. He had just said 'I said I don't speak English, you son of a bitch. Got it now, boss?'.

Sammy glanced over at the two men sitting down at the bar and pointed at Charlie and laughed. Both of the men joined in on the laughter, obviously laughing at Charlie. Little did they know that Charlie being the important businessman that he is, is actually quite fluent in Spanish - hell, any language for that matter - as Charlie travels around the world a lot. He didn't get this rich doing nothing but staying in Boston.

They continued to point and laugh hysterically at me, none of them shut up until I cleared my throat and stood tall.

"Tal vez si yo cortar ese pedazo de mierda que usted llama una cabeza ... y se lo envié a su madre, ella reconocería usted. Pero lo dudo, jefe." Charlie responded flatly yet boldly. Charlie had just said 'Maybe if I chop off that piece of shit you call a head... and sent it to your mother, she'd recognize you. But I doubt it, boss.'

"Fuck you!" Sammy roared, suddenly speaking English. His chest began to heave in and out as his nostrils flared while he glared at Charlie coldly.

Charlie's patience had run thin and rage coursed through my veins as he gritted his teeth and lunged forward, grabbing a handful of Sammy's messy curly hair and slamming his face down onto the bar. Charlie pulled his arm back and slammed his fist down onto the side of Sammy's head. Charlie continued to punch Sammy in the head while Sammy muffled curse words out and groaning in agony after each punch.

"Fuck you!" Sammy cursed, taking the punches like a champ.

"Hey!" The man sitting closet to Charlie shouted as he got off his chair, "Break it up!" He yelled, placing a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

Charlie, while still holding Sammy down with my one of his arms, spun and punched the man square in the face sending him flying down on his ass. The man held his nose and gulped, shocked at how strong Charlie was.

"Let me go!" Sammy roared.

Charlie pulled Sammy's face to the side, still holding him down but enough that he could stare up at Charlie, "You tell me where Billy Darley is... and you tell me right now, RIGHT NOW!" Charlie shouted.

"You don't want Billy Darley, buddy!" Sammy warned in a growl, struggling to push Charlie's hands off of him.

Charlie grunted and gritted his teeth as he reached inside of the backpack beside himand grabbed two more stacks of cash and slammed them down on the bar beside Sammy's head.

"I've got business with him!" I spat ferociously.

Sammy sighed in defeat, "Okay... Let me go! Let me go!"

Charlie obliged and pulled his arms back, allowing Sammy to stand up straight and wipe his mouth off. Sammy glanced at Charlie before glancing down at the three stacks of cash, instantly grabbing it and pulling it away before Charlie could change his mind.

A bead of sweat rolled down Sammy's forehead as he pointed towards the door and stared at Charlie, "His boy Heco's crashing at 113, up the block!

Charlie nodded as Sammy paused to take a breathe.

"-He's usually hooking up around dinner time you know?!" He added as he slapped his arm insinuating that Heco would be shooting up heroin around the time that normal people would be enjoying dinner.

"Okay?!" Sammy growled as Charlie turned to leave. "Ah fuck my nose..." Sammy winced as Charlie stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to face Sammy.

"Get yourself some tylenol with that cash. You're gonna need it."

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Now sat Charlie behind the wheel of Heco's red 1969 Ford fastback, his foot on the break, watching one of Billy's boys guarding the abandoned mental hospital. The gang member looked maybe... maybe fucking eighteen years old. Charlie shrugged it off though, watching as the kid stood infront of a random white van parked sideways infront of the cement stairs of the mental hospital.

The kid was too busy digging through his own pockets trying to find a lighter to light the rolled cigarette between his lips to even notice Charlie idling outside the tall metal gates in Heco's car. He watched as the kid climbed inside of the van and began to dig around the center console trying to find a lighter.

Charlie's eyes widened and he gulped as he watched the kid pick up an assault rifle that could literally rip him to shreds if the kid started firing at him.

Is Billy running guns now?, Charlie asked himself.

A sigh escaped Charlie's lips when the kid sat down the gun on the dashboard of the van and climbed out, lighting his cigarette as he did so. He then dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone and started to text. He walked a few steps away from the van, still in Charlie's line of vision, a bored expression across his face. Horrible job at guarding this fucking place...

"You took my boys out... I'm taking you and yours out, cocksucker." Charlie muttered to himself.

Charlie's chuckle soon turned into hysterical laughter as he clamped his eyes shut tight, gripped the steering wheel as tight as he could and stomped down on the gas peddle. Heco's car roared and his wheels peeled against the ground sending rocks flying as he sped towards the gates.

"What the fuck?!" The kid yelled as Heco's car burst through the gates sending them flying wide open. The headlights were so bright the kid was nearly blinded.

The kid ran back towards the van, ripping open the door and reached for his gun. He struggled to turn off safety but before he could fire at Charlie, the car smoked him, literally ripping him in half AND the van in half. The american steel Charlie was driving was no fucking joke. It cut through both the van and the kid like nothing.

Charlie's blonde head whipped back and forth almost hitting the steering wheel as the front of the car came to a sudden halt from hitting the cement stairs to the abandoned mental hospital. Charlie gasped loudly before coughing, wide eyed and amazed that he had just done that and survived. He shivered before wiping the sweat off his brow, trying to catch his breathe. Slowly, he unbuckled his seat belt before slowly opening the car door, grabbing his shotgun from the passenger seat floor before climbing out of the car.

Charlie coughed loudly as he inhaled the smoke that was now fuming from under the hood of Heco's car. A dull look formed on his face as he glanced at the hood and then over his shoulder to see other cars parked in front of the abandoned hospital, none of them being Billy's. Good, he thought. He had made it here before Billy.

Without any further hesitation, Charlie stomped up the steps of the abandoned mental hospital, his grip tightening around the shotgun as he cleared his throat and spoke aloud, "Kill.... or be killed."


	46. chapter 45

"Don't fuckin' let me down, Jack" Billy barked, ripping the phone away from his ear and shoving it back down inside his pocket.

Billy could only hope that Jack would make it to Amber before anyone else could. His heart was pounding against the inside of his chest, his mouth was dry and his thoughts were racing. The cool spring air was almost soothing against his flushed skin as he continued to run. Why he left his beloved car behind at home was beyond him, maybe he was afraid something would happen to it, or maybe he knew well enough that something was going to happen tonight and either which way tonight ends his car can't be there.

This was his fault, his fucking doing. All of it and everything that was about to take place at the abandoned mental hospital, was his fault. Everything from his past - all the wrong he had done - was now coming back to haunt him. He knew life was going too smoothly, he knew something like this would eventually catch up to him, he just never imagined it happening almost immediately after meeting Amber. The girl who's clueless to what's about to happen as she sleeps back at home dreaming of the baby who's due to come out into a world that doesn't deserve it.

Hell, neither of them deserve to be stuck in the middle of the life that he leads. She's got so much potential to find better, do better but yet here she is, pregnant with a complete fuck up's kid. Bones was right, how the fuck could someone like him think for even a moment that he could raise a child. I mean, obviously he could, given the fact that Bones somehow managed to raise Billy and Joe on his own when his mother fucked off. But look how they grew up.... who was Billy to think that he'd be able to raise a child any differently.

Bones created Billy... Billy shuddered at the thought of how much worse his own child would be being brought up by Billy.

It'll catch up to you someday, Billy Darley. All the horrible things that you've done will come back to haunt you! Billy shook his head, trying to rid her voice from his thoughts.

She was right, of course she was fucking right, she always was. She being the girl of his past. What would she think of the man that he is now? Would she even be surprised? Would Kori remind him what he already knew? Would she warn Amber? Would she see that he's trying and forgive him for what's happened in the past? Probably not because even he deep down wishes he could somehow turn back time and stop himself from doing the horrible things that he had done to her. Maybe that's why he is the way that he is now when it comes to Amber... trying to make up for what he's done in his past.

Sadly, no amount of guilt is going to ever erase the past.

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Charlie slowly swung open the doors, carefully catching them and guiding them shut in hopes of not drawing any attention. He held the shotgun firmly and stared around the dark hallway of the mental hospital; a light that had fallen from the ceiling blinked as it hung in place by a few strong wires, papers and garbage all over the floor, and a lot of graffiti spray painted on the walls throughout the whole mental hospital from what his eyes could register in the dark.

It took Charlie a few moments for his eyes to adjust, it was so dark in there. He clicked his jaw to the side and tried to focus on any kind of sound. All he could hear was the buzzing/humming sound coming from the light that was hanging by a 'thread'. Charlie gulped as he heard someone shout from one of the higher levels upstairs in the mental hospital. They obviously heard what just happened and they obviously know he is there. Charlie turned his head in the direction that the sound was coming from and turned the safety off of the shotgun. His heart raced as he slowly tip toed up the stairs towards the direction where the yelling was coming from.

"Dog! Go fuckin' find him!" A recognizable voice shouted as Charlie reached the top of the stair case, pausing dead in his tracks as he waited to hear and confirm which direction the shouting was coming from. It was definitely Baggy's voice. Charlie remembered Baggy's voice from the old days, the old... almost hard to believe they once existed - days.

Charlie sucked in a short breathe as the sound of running footsteps approached him and sure enough it was Dog running out from the darkness, his jaw dropped and eyes wide from shock that I was standing there. Within a blink of an eye, Charlie quickly raised the shotgun up, cocked it and fired at his knee cap, naturally removing his leg from the knee down. He screamed in complete agony just as Charlie fired the shotgun again, this time hitting him dead center of the chest, sending him flying back a few feet.

"NO!" Baggy screamed as he popped his head around the corner at the end of the hallway, "DOG!" Baggy roared before looking at Charlie, "YOU FUCK!" He screamed before pulling his head back, sticking out his arm and firing his pistol off in Charlie's direction.

Charlie acted fast by jumping behind the nearest wall taking cover from the bullets flying towards him. As he waited for Baggy's pistol to be out of bullets, he quickly reloaded the shotgun with two new shells. Once he heard Baggy's gun click out, Charlie pursed his lips and jumped out from hiding, cocking the shotgun and firing a shot towards his direction. The first shot was a miss, hitting a water pipe at first, and then firing again, this time hitting some glass laboratory flasks that contained some sort of acid or something.. something acid like as Baggy screamed and cried out in pain as they splatted on to his arm, burning small holes through his leather jacket.

A sly smirk of satisfaction crept across Charlie's face as he stood there listening to Baggy scream in agony. Charlie reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out two more shot gun shells. Charlie's breathing was heavy and there was no longer an ounce of fear or worry or anything for that matter inside of him as he strutted down the hallway, placing the two new shells inside of the shotgun.

Baggy panicked, his leg still fucked up from the night Billy and his gang invaded Charlie and Matt's family home and Jamie accidentally shot Baggy in the side of the knee. Charlie grunted as he ran around the corner that Baggy was just hiding around, seeing that he was limping but hurrying to get away from Charlie. He now had a small, single barrel sawed off shotgun in his hands. He struggled to get far away as possible all while dragging his bad leg. Charlie followed him in to an open room, shooting at him but hitting more flasks on a metal table before jumping behind a brick wall.

"I'm going to kill you!" Baggy hollered, turning around and firing the gun he had just picked up, towards Charlie but missing horribly. Charlie didn't even so much as bat an eyelash.

Chasing him, Charlie continued to reload and shoot and miss, reload and shoot and miss as his running was restricting his own aim. Before long he had cornered Baggy in to a small room. Slowly, he ran in to the room noticing Baggy standing up on a window sill, fighting to try and get the window open. Baggy's eyes widened as he glanced back at Charlie, fear written all over his stupid face while he aimed his gun at Charlie. Unfortunately for Baggy, that was all he was able to do as Charlie pulled back the trigger, shooting Baggy in the chest and sending him flying through the glass window.

"Heco, Baggy, Tommy and some random kid...." Charlie counted all his victims, "Where's Bodie and all those fuckers?" Charlie asked himself out loud.

Charlie was unaware that Billy had recruited all new boys to do the job his own boys use to do, cook the drugs in the basement of this nasty, run down abandoned mental hospital. It just so happens that Baggy and Dog were at the wrong place at the wrong time reloading drugs to sell. Heco on the other hand... well, he was Charlie's easiest target.

Charlie's chest heaved in and out as he swallowed saliva in the back of his own throat. He was panting uncontrollably, jolting his head from side to side before he took a step forward, ready to leave the room. A loud bang from a shotgun rang through his ears. Charlie's eyes widened as he noticed someone had just fired a hole through the wall beside where he was standing. Dust from the brick wall flew around him, going up his nose and irritating his eyes for a moment.

Charlie jumped back in to the room, crouching against the brick wall and pulled out one of the pistols from his belt loop.

"Let's get this mother fucker!" An unfamiliar voice echoed throughout the room.

A bead of sweat rolled down Charlie's forehead from fear. He raised the pistol up in one hand, the other holding on to the shotgun that needed to be reloaded immediately. Instead, Charlie sighed and ran out of the room, continuously shooting the pistol in all directions making it so that both of the two young men who were shooting at Charlie would have to duck down in order to take cover - giving Charlie time to run across the room and out the first door that he could find which luckily just happened to be the door to the stair case that led either back downstairs to the main floor or up to the next level of the abandoned mental hospital. Charlie was hoping that by some freak chance he would have hit both of the young men but all he had hit in that quick shoot and dash were lab flasks and whatever else they used to cook drugs with.

Charlie quickly hurried up the stairs, going as fast as his legs would allow him to move.

"Go, go, go!" The one male shouted out. "Get him! Go!" He instructed to the other young man who ran after Charlie instantly, firing his shotgun but luckily missing Charlie and hitting the wooden railing.

"I got him, I got him!" The kid who had just fired at Charlie shouted out at the other guy.

Quickly, Charlie retaliated by firing a couple shots from his pistol in the boy's direction, causing him to jump back out the door and take cover, giving Charlie enough time to run up the second flight of stairs.

Once Charlie reached the top of the stairs, assuming to be the fourth floor of the mental hospital, he quickly reloaded his shotgun with new shells. Leaning over the wooden railing, Charlie clenched his jaw and pointed the barrel of the shotgun down in the direction of the bottom flight of stairs where both the young men were peaking their heads out of. Without thought, Charlie pulled the trigger, blowing a hole through the wooden railing and skimming the side of the youngest looking man's ear clean off.

"AH! AHHHH!" The one ear man screamed out in agony as the other kid jumped back, grabbing one ear's shoulder and pulling him back as well.

Charlie was still panting uncontrollably after running up all of those stairs as fast as he had just done. It wasn't long before the one guy slowly dragged one ear up the stairs after Charlie. Charlie stopped, hunching over for a brief second to catch his breathe and glance out the window - the only window that was on the top floor at the top of the stairs - to see none other than Billy Darley running through the gates towards Heco's smoldering smashed up car.

"Glad to see you made it, Billy." Charlie mumbled to himself.

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"Amber? Amber wake up." A soft yet deep male's voice said as they shook me by the arm.

I blinked my eyelids a few times before fully registering who it was trying to wake me up. I instantly shot up in bed and gasped in fear, "WHAT THE FUCK, JACK?!"

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, raising his hands up in defence. He plopped down on the bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me, "Thank fuck you're okay."

"What? Jack, why are you- where's Meg- What are you-"

"Amber... just, just go back to-"

"Jack..." I half sighed half warned.

Jack frowned, clicking his jaw to the side as he made eye contact with me, "Everything is going to be okay."

"Where's Billy?" I asked, glancing around the room.

Usually I'd be awkward with the fact that another man is in my bedroom, on my bed, seeing my half naked body. That being said, I could see the seriousness in Jack's eyes - he was afraid, nervous and on edge. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong.

"Jack! Answer me, now." I demanded, my eyes scanning around the room as I spoke, "Where is-"

My eyes landed on the nightstand beside the bed, immediately recognizing the cross necklace and the car keys, both which belonged to Billy. Frantically, I kicked the blankets off of my legs and swung my legs over the edge of the bed nearly knocking Jack over as I did so. I scrambled over to the nightstand grabbing Billy's keys and the cross necklace, knocking a paper down to the floor.

Jack jogged behind me, not even so much as caring that I was struggling to find clothes to put on. I grabbed the same black pull over hoodie that Billy had got me to wear to work the day that I was yelling at him and refusing to go to work because of all the visible hickeys he had left on my neck from the night before. Pulling it on, I watched as Jack knelt down and picked up the piece of paper that I had dropped from grabbing Billy's keys and necklace. I was too busy slipping on a pair of jeans to ask what it was that he was doing.

"Amber, you dropped this!" Jack stated the obvious.

"Who gives a fuck! Come on!"

"Where are we going?!" Jack called after me as I ran out of the bedroom and hurried downstairs. "Amber!"

I spun around, "What?!"

There were visible tears streaming down my face. Jack stopped in his tracks and frowned, running his hand through his hair. He sighed, staring back at me, "I promised him I'd keep you safe here."

"What's going on Jack?" I whimpered pathetically due to being both overtired and worried sick, "Where is he?"

Jack swallowed a hard lump and frowned, "Heco's dead."

"What?!" I exclaimed, "CHRISTY'S WITH HIM!"

My quiet tears soon turned to sobs, covering my mouth with my hands, trying to process everything that was happening right now. Heco, my best friend... Billy. Jack wrapped his arms around me and I immediately shoved him back. I didn't mean to take my anger and stress out on Jack but fuck it was hard not to.

"WHERE IS HE?!" I screamed, fed up with not knowing anything.

"He's at the office..." Jack admitted in a low tone.

Toughen up, A voice in the back of my mind told me. Quit bawling and get fucking going.

I sniffled hard and ran over to the front door, slipping on my shoes and yanking the door open. I jumped back and nearly pissed myself when I saw a half naked Christy standing before me, panting and crying.

"Oh thank God." I mumbled, placing both of my hands on each side of her face, "Call Bodie and Jamie... NOW!" I instructed, letting her go and running down the front steps.

"Amber! Charlie's after Billy!" Christy sobbed, "H-he killed Heco."

My whole body froze in place as Christy mentioned Charlie. I knew this was coming and yet I still hid it from Billy in hopes of keeping everything "normal" for once. God, I'm a fucking idiot.

"You can't go there! You're pregnant!" She yelled hysterically.

I winced as a sharp pain cramped around my pelvic area, "Just do what I said!"

Sucking in a sharp breathe, I ran over to Billy's driver side door and unlocked the car. I swallowed hard as I leaned over the center console and opened the glove department, seeing that a black standard sized .45 was there. I knew it was there, I've seen it before. Billy had guns everywhere. My chest heaved in and out as I grabbed the gun and slammed the glove box shut before quickly checking that the gun was loaded.

Of course it is, you idiot. Go!

I checked the safety to make sure that it was on before slipping the gun in the waistband of my jeans. Clicking my jaw to the side, I placed my left hand on the wheel and put the key in the ignition and jumped a little in my seat as the car fired up, the dual exhaust rumbling. With my free hand, I stuck my hand down my pants, pulling my hand back to see blood on my finger tips.

"I'm going with you!" Jack exclaimed as he ripped open the passenger side door and plopped down. He glanced over at me with wide eyes - appalled that I wasn't doing anything.

I quickly wiped my hand on the inside pocket of my hoodie and nodded slowly before clearing my throat, "L-L-Let's go."

With that, I put the car in reverse and then I placed my right hand on the headrest of Jack's car while I glanced over my shoulder as I sped out of the driveway. Christy - who was on the phone to Bodie - stared at Jack and I with a worried expression as I peeled down the block, definitely burning rubber.

A red light caused me to slam on the breaks making both Jack and I fly forward and slam up against the backs of our seats. Jack remained quiet, his heavy breathing was the only thing that could be heard. My knuckles were turning white as my grip tightened around the steering wheel.

"Get out and go press the button!" I shouted, too impatient to wait for this red light.

Jack nodded and yanked open his door and got out. I waited until Jack was almost at the stop light before I stomped down on the gas, blowing the red light and speeding off. The passenger door slammed shut and I heard Jack yell after me but I didn't even bat an eyelash, instead I just sped off. It wasn't that I didn't want Jack to come with me, hell, I did... but I couldn't drag him into this more than he already is.

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Billy glanced inside of Heco's smashed up car and cursed to himself as he pulled out a gun from the waistband of his jeans and turned the safety off. Charlie watched as Billy hurried up the stone stairs and cocked his pistol just before he entered the mental hospital. Charlie's head jolted in the direction of the stairs as he heard the two men stomping up them. Charlie snorted and tightened his jaw, and ran towards an open door to his left.

"Welcome to hell" Charlie read outloud what was spray painted on the door before running into the room.

Charlie hid behind a wall as he quickly reloaded the shotgun once again. He glanced around at his surroundings as he tried to make a plan as to where it was that he was heading next. His adrenaline level was intense, worse than it ever was knowing that Billy had finally arrived.

Charlie continued to make his way through random rooms throughout the top floor of the abandoned mental hospital. An eerie feeling sent goosebumps up and down his spine as he examined the abandoned, dirty beds with arm shackles that was used on the patients before this place was condemned. Charlie just shivered and shook the feeling off before his mind decides its going to start playing tricks on him, which he can't have right now.

You could hear the guy who Charlie shot the ear clean off of, grunting in agony as him and the other guy reached the floor I was currently on. Lights in the ceiling flickered causing Charlie's sight to become poor as he slowly walked around. Charlie exhaled a deep breathe from his nose and closed his eyes for a second and slid between two broken, but large bookshelves. He had made it this far... he wasn't about to stop now.

"Go that way... I'll go this way." One of the kids told the earless guy.

Charlie bit the inside of his cheek absent-mindedly as he tried to focus on the footsteps as they split up, so that he had an idea of where they were going and how close they were to him.

Charlie gulped as he slowly made his way out from in between the two book shelves. His long calloused hands became clammy as he gripped the shotgun tighter. Charlie stopped walking at the sound of one of the men clearing their throat.

"You know... You're gonna die in here." The one ear man stated casually as Charlie's eyes shifted around, trying to pin point where exactly it was that he was calling out from.

Meanwhile downstairs, Billy made his way down the hallway of the second floor. Stopping as he stared down at Dog laying there surrounded by a pool of blood, a huge hole blown in his chest and his limb detached from his knee, laying beside his dead body. Billy sniffled, clicking his jaw to the side as he looked around, mouthing "Fuck Sakes!" knowing that Charlie was succeeding at what he came here to do.

Charlie stopped as he heard the earless guy wince in the other room as he must have ran in to something in the dark. Charlie knew he was close, yet continued to slowly walk through the room, stopping as his foot accidentally crushed some pieces of glass that were laying on the floor. Looking up, Charlie's eyes noticed the other man's shadow on the wall ahead making Charlie's eyes widen as Charlie watched him raise his gun up and aim at the wall where Charlie was standing on the other side. Without any hesitation, Charlie jumped down on to the floor, glass shards piercing through my skin his skin as he did so. One ear fired his shotgun, Charlie jumped back up to his feet right after and fired, blowing a hole through the wall. Charlie stared through the hole in the wall briefly before firing again, but this time hitting Jamie in the chest, killing him instantly.

Billy made his way up another stair case that led to the top floor, cautiously following the echo's of shotgun blasts. Throwing his now empty shotgun, Charlie walked in to the last room that was lit by red lights, squinting his eyes as examined the room. It was a small chapel that was used for the patients to get in touch with God and practice religion, one would assume so anyway.

Footsteps echoed from behind Charlie, making him spin around on one foot back in the direction where he had just walked in from, pistol aimed and ready to fire at whatever or whoever was coming. As Charlie's back was turned, a curtain flew open from behind and out he came, Billy Darley.


	47. chapter 46

Before Charlie could be aware that Billy was behind him, Billy pulled the trigger on his pistol, shooting Charlie in the back near his shoulder blade. Charlie growled out in agony, surprisingly not blacking out and collapsing like he had the first time Billy shot him. Charlie spun around and fired his gun repeatedly, Billy doing the exact same thing in Charlie's direction. One of Charlie's bullets managed to graze Billy on the side of his arm near the elbow, causing him to scream out in agony, dropping the gun in his right hand. Charlie continued to fire the second pistol - the first one being empty from when Charlie had fired bullets at the two other men while trying to get across a room. It may have just been a graze but it was enough to make Billy drop the gun he had just been holding.

Before Charlie could do anything else, the man who had yelled, 'You know, you're gonna die in here' walked out from behind Charlie, firing one shot - missing - and hitting something heavy that knocked over random gas can before firing again and successfully grazing him in the side of the neck. Charlie shamelessly screamed out, spinning around and firing his gun, shooting the man right between the eyes with the second last bullet. Once the man's body fell to the floor, Charlie spun around on one heel to see that Billy had grabbed his gun and was slowly getting back up. He was halfway up when Charlie fired his last shot, hitting Billy in the stomach, just below his rib cage. Charlie's gun clicked out from being out of bullets while Billy groaned/cried in pain as he fell backwards.

Charlie howeled out in pain as he pressed my left hand down on his neck trying to apply pressure to the bloody wound. Blood trickled in between Charlie's long slender fingers all the way down his hand. Charlie swallowed a hard, painful lump as he staggered over to the church pew. Charlie gasped for air as he allowed himself to plop down dully on the bench, watching as Billy crawled over to his gun and slowly stood up. Billy held his hand over the bloody wound on his stomach as he fired his gun at Charlie.

Charlie jumped in his seat as a bullet shot through the back of the wooden bench, right beside him. Charlie dropped the gun in his free hand on the ground as Billy fired another shot, this time hitting the wall way behind Charlie, still causing Charlie to jump a little. Billy gritted his teeth as his gun clicked out as well. He staggered over to the bench Charlie was sitting on. He plopped down beside him, grunting as he continued to apply pressure on to his bullet wound in his stomach. Still applying pressure to the wound on his neck, Charlie stared straight ahead at the half broken statue of the cross with Jesus on it that was just barely hung up on the wall.

There they sat, side by side in complete silence besides the odd moaning and groaning coming from the two of them. Two childhood friends - best friends at that - separated by gangs and gang territory. They had become what they thought they'd never be - their fathers. Unlike Billy, Charlie made something of himself by using his B-street gang as a ladder to get to success... While Billy... well, Billy became Bones.

Billy swallowed his spit and cleared his throat before exhaling slowly in pain, he lifted his head up and winced before turning to look over at Charlie. Charlie didn't even look like he had the night Billy and his boys stormed in and shot Charlie. Charlie's infamous slicked back blonde hair was now buzzed into a crew cut and a visible scar across the side of his skull stuck out like a sore thumb. Charlie was dressed in a black leather jacket with a black hoodie underneath and a pair of dark washed jeans and white shoes.

Billy scrunched his nose as he fought his vision that was already starting to blur before licking his lips and speaking, "Look at you..."

Charlie blinked dully at the sound of Billy's voice.

Billy cleared his throat, his voice deep and husky, "You look like one of us."

Charlie shifted his eyes to the side, enough to look at Billy as a sick twisted smirk spread across Billy's face, a smug look of satisfaction, "Look what I made you."

Charlie clenched his jaw and glared at Billy in disgust. The cold hard glare soon turned into a frown as he pondered to himself about what Billy had just said. It was true. He had become one of them. By one of them, he means just like Billy and his boys. They use to be his friends too... now enemies. It wasn't easy for Charlie to kill Joey... not after watching him grow up as a young kid who yearned for his older brother's approval.

But in the world they both grew up in and grew accustom to, shit like that was how things were done. Blood for blood, eye for an eye type of shit. Nothing stood in the way of that. Not a fucking thing.

"How's Amber and the kid?" Charlie asked in a mumble.

Billy snorted, staring down at the blood from his stomach oozing out over his fingers that he had held flush against his wound. It was only a matter of time now unless he got medical attention immediately. He'd been shot before, he was younger then... luckier. That memory alone brought up a thousand other memories that included Charlie and... her.

"Kori still got my name tattooed on her?" Billy muttered out a dry question.

Charlie swallowed hard and winced at the pain that came from the wound on his neck as he swallowed. Charlie managed to shrug slightly, now feeling the gunshot wound on his back shoulder blade from that small movement.

"Does Amber still scream out my name?" Charlie shot back.

Billy parted his lips slightly to say something but was cut off by a sharp pain in his stomach that spread up towards his chest. Billy winced and leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling. Charlie watched Billy like a hawk from the corner of his eye as Billy pulled out his pack of cigarettes and flip-lighter from his front shirt pocket.

"What have we done?" Charlie asked, exhaling slowly as Billy placed a cigarette between his lips and flipped open his lighter.

Billy paused before lighting the end of his cigarette, staring at the gasoline that was now seeping across the dirty, wooden floor. Charlie continued to ramble on about shit from that past that Billy didn't seem to even be fazed about until the words 'You were my brother...' left Charlie's mouth.

"I'm not walking out of here am I?" Charlie asked followed by a faint laugh of disbelief.

Billy squinted his eyes as he slowly lit the end of his cigarette, inhaling a deep drag. He held the flip lighter open, staring at the mesmerizing flame before his eyes glanced at the spreading gasoline. Smoke slowly escaped Billy's mouth and nostrils. Billy inhaled another drag off of his cigarette before tossing the lighter down onto the gasoline.

Within seconds a trail of fire spread across the floor back to the gas can that instantly lit up into flames. With this building being abandoned and a fire hazard waiting to happen, it didn't take long for the fire to spread rapidly. Neither Charlie or Billy seemed fazed from the fire that was spreading at a rapid rate. They both knew that this place would blow as soon as the flames met the basement where the drugs are made. Yet, there they sat.

In a blink of an eye, both men reached around behind them and pulled out guns and placed them on their laps. Charlie wasn't shocked that Billy had another gun on him, while Billy was slightly surprised that Charlie was carrying another gun. Probably for this exact moment.

"Looks like neither of us are." Billy finally spoke, answering Charlie's earlier question about him not walking out of here alive.

Charlie sighed through his nose and nodded slightly, "Ready?"

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This was like a really bad dream that I couldn't wake up from. The gates were smashed open, Heco's car was smashed against cement stairs and the engine was smoking from under the hood, a van was literally cut in two which told me that Charlie had smashed full force into the van, one the kid's were still inside the van - dead and dismembered. The building itself was up in flames and Billy was no where in sight.

I cried out in pain from a cramp that nearly knocked me to my knees as I climbed out of Billy's car. I knew I was still bleeding and I hadn't felt baby move since I left the house. A whimper escaped my mouth as I ran my hand across my lower abdomen.

Please, please... please God, please be okay... please... Both Billy and baby... PLEASE.

Regardless of knowing that I wasn't fit to go in, I still made my way over to the front steps of the building. I raised my right arm up as I stared at the bright flames coming from the building.

"A-A..Amber" A familiar voice cackled out in the bushes.

My head jolted in the direction that the voice was coming from, "BAGGY?!" I screamed, running over and falling to my knees.

Baggy's eyes were watering and there was glass shards in his neck, arms, face, chest, and even around the shotgun wound in his stomach. The fact that he was still - barely - alive was unbelievable. He blinked a few times, helplessly watching me put two and two together that he had either fallen or been pushed out of the shattered window above. There was nothing I could do.

Closing my eyes, I pushed myself back up off of my knees and hurried over towards the steps again. But before I could even so much as climb a single step, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around my around my arms and dragged me back.

"LET ME GO!" I screamed, fighting against Bodie's grip as he carried me away back towards Billy's car where Jamie was now sitting in the drivers seat of. "BILLY'S IN THERE!"

Bodie nor Jamie said anything to me as Bodie fought to get me over to the passenger side door. Christy and Jack had pulled up beside us. Some of Billy's other boys scrambled to retrieve Baggy's body and one of the new guys who I didn't know his name, backed a truck up to the back end of Heco's car and hooked a tow chain to it and dragged it out of there.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?! BILLY IS IN THERE!" I screamed, repeating myself.

"No trail." Jamie murmured from inside the car.

"LET ME GO!" I screamed, pulling my arm up and slamming my elbow into Bodie's ribcage causing him to let me go.

"Amber!" Christy yelled after me as I jogged towards the now completely on fire building.

Tears were pouring out of my eyes and I didn't even realize it. My heart was beating against my chest and I could practically feel the heat from the flames burning my face as I ran towards the building. Both Jack and Bodie ran after me while the others took off out of sight, including Jamie who started Billy's car and sped out of there.

Pieces of the building started to collapse right before my eyes and I still fought to get to the steps of the burning building. Bodie looked just as upset as I did as he literally drug me a safe distance away from the building. Jack whimpered as he ran his fingers through his hair, watching me helplessly scream Billy's name over and over again.

"Amber, Amber look at me." Bodie demanded as he shoved me into Jack's arms. "We have to go now, ya hear? We have to go."

At first the smoke was all that filled my view, then a bright glint of orange. The fire screamed and I failed to hold back a sob as I watched the abandoned mental hospital literally go up in flames. The crackle of burning wood was all I could hear now. I could see Bodie's lips moving but I couldn't hear him, let alone my own screams of Billy's name.

"We have to go Amber!" Christy cried as she fell to her knees beside me.

I hadn't realized that I was now on the ground, hunched over and gasping for air. I have never bawled so hard in my life before. Jack tightened his arms around me, pulling me up to my feet and dragging me away.

"Let me the fuck go!" I screamed in a high pitched squeal, flailing around in Jack's grip.

"BILLY!" I screamed as loud as I could. I've never screamed so loud before in my life, "BILLY!"

My world became slow motion as Jack carried me further and further away. I kicked my legs up and off of the ground as I slammed my fists against Jack's arms, demanding that he let me go. I reached out for the building, screaming at the top of my lungs and crying so hard that my eyes were burning.

As soon as we were all piled into the car that Christy, Bodie and Jack arrived in, my vision began to blur and my head started to spin. I instantly hunched over and dry heaved. Bodie just sped away from the building.

"Amber?!"

My vision blurred and sharp pains cramped around my pelvic area. Everything was spinning and I reached out for the first body that I could find.

"Amber?!" Christy repeated, placing her hands on my shoulders and shaking me.

I blinked my eyelids a few times before finally fully blacking out.

"Amb- Amber?!" Christy exclaimed, shaking my harder. "AMBER! GET HER TO A HOSPITAL!"


	48. chapter 47

When I came to, I was still in the backseat with Christy while Bodie drove and Jack panicked in the passenger seat. Christy was cradling me like I was some kind of child that had just scraped its knee. The last thing I needed right now was anyone's fucking pity, especially when I have to worry about why I'm suddenly bleeding during this part of my pregnancy. Not to mention, Billy...

"Easy now, easy now... we're taking you to the hospital," Christy whispered in a soothing voice as I waved her away and sat up. "Everything is going to be okay."

Without hesitation, I pulled the gun from the waistband of my jeans and pressed it against the back of Bodie's head and cocked it, "Where's Billy's car?"

"Amber! What the fuck are you doing?!" Jack and Christy both exclaimed.

"Jamie's t-taking it to Bones' shop... what the fuck you doin'?" Bodie gulped, staring at me through the rearview mirror.

"Amber put the fucking gun down!" Christy screeched.

"I know what you're feelin', I do. I loved him too, he was closer to me than my own fuckin blood, you know that!" Bodie shouted.

"Don't take me to any fucking hospital," I said in a low but dangerous tone. "Take me home to pack a bag."

"Damn girl, that's all ya had to say. Put the fuckin' gun down." Bodie replied.

"Amber put the fucking gun-"

I pursed my lips and yanked the gun away in defeat. The gun fell in between Christy and me on the seat and I buried my face in my hands and started to sob. Christy pulled me close and remained silent as I silently sobbed and trembled in her arms.

The rest of the drive was silent. Megan was already parked in the driveway of mine and Billy's house, waiting impatiently. She jogged over to Jack and started demanding answers and asking if I was okay. I ignored her as I slowly got out of the car and stared up at the sky. The sun would be rising in the next couple of hours.

Just as I was about to head up the driveway and go inside, Bodie grabbed my upper arm and stopped me from going away. I stared down at his hand in disgust before making eye contact with him.

"This is a bad time dawg, I know that... you know that. But we still got shit to do, ya hear?" He nodded at me in expectancy, "Get yourself some sleep and meet me at Bones' shop when ya up for it. Ya gotta run the shop, take care of the mechanics payroll and the side shit..."

As much as I wanted to tell Bodie to go and fuck himself, I knew he was right. I had to be strong and I had to do this. So instead of telling him off, I just nodded slowly and yanked my arm out of his grasp. Luckily for me, I didn't even have to say anything before Megan stormed up and slapped Bodie across the face.

"Use your fucking head! That's the last thing on any of our minds." She growled as Jack jumped between Megan and a now furious Bodie.

Christy, Jack, Megan and Bodie continued to shout at one another about what they thought was "important" at this time. I ignored them and made my way inside. I was too exhausted, too lifeless to care about anything that was currently going on around me. There was an ache in my heart and a numbness in my mind. All I wanted to do was go upstairs, crawl into bed, cry myself to sleep and wake up tomorrow to find that this was all just a bad dream.

Bodie's right... I have to be tough...

Chop ran over to me and jumped up, wanting me to play with him. Tears that I've been fighting to hold back suddenly won the battle and poured out the corners of my eyes. Chop whimpered as I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around Chop's neck and bawled.

The baby was finally moving again, but every movement or every kick brought more tears with it. Mostly tears of relief while some were caused by the fact that their father's dead. I had to be strong, I had to pack my bag to stay at Christy's and then head to the hospital and find out why I'm bleeding this far into my pregnancy. I had no contractions yet so there's no possible way that I could be going into early labor, but something is off.

The door opened and in entered Christy, Jack, and Megan. Megan immediately came to my side and held me while Christy jogged upstairs to gather some of my clothes and stuff to stay at her apartment for awhile. Jack whistled for Chop who immediately ripped himself from my arms and chased after Jack outside to the car.

"We're gonna go now, okay? We're gonna drop Chop off at our place then take you to the hospital okay?" Megan said softly as she stood herself up and offered her hand.

Reluctantly I took her hand and allowed her to pull me up to my feet. My eyes were puffy and red and sore from crying as hard as I was. I hiccuped as I tried to breathe slowly and calmly so that I could speak.

"I'm bleeding..." I whimpered.

"You're what?" Megan asked slowly as if she barely heard me.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks again, "I-I- I'm bleeding."

"CHRISTY!" Megan called out almost instantly.

Christy ran down the stairs, nearly falling down them as she did so, "What?!"

"Amber's bleeding!" Megan exclaimed.

Christy's mouth fell agape and she chucked the bag she had packed for me at Megan. Megan caught it and threw it over her shoulder while Christy ran to me and wrapped her arm around my back and started to lead me out of the house as if I was unable to walk on my own or something.

"We have to get you to the hos-"

"Drop Chop off first." I winced as a sharp pain around my pelvic area nearly knocked me to my knees, "Oh my fucking God!"

"What?!" Christy and Megan both asked at the same time.

"Something's wrong!" I whimpered.

"Jack!" Megan roared.

Both Jack and Bodie ran over to the three of us. I was now hunched over and gritting my teeth, my hands feeling around my stomach, desperately trying to get baby to kick or move, anything to give me reassurance while we made our way to the hospital.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Bodie demanded an answer, staring at Christy and Megan.

"She's bleeding!" Christy snapped.

Bodie's eyes widened and before I could even protest, he had me pulled up to my feet. I cried out in pain as he placed one arm around my back and knelt down and scooped my legs up with his other arm. Before I knew it, I was shoved into the backseat of the car.

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"Well, looks like we can get you off of this machine now." The doctor said as she entered the room. I sighed in relief as I watched her start to pull the yellow bands off from around my stomach. "We managed to calm baby down."

"Baby is okay then, right?!"

The doctor nodded, "Baby is fine. However..."

"However?"

"However, the bleeding was caused due to your stress level, hence the reason we had you hooked up to this machine for the past hour. We had to monitor baby to make sure everything was alright." The doctor explained.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, "I've had a stressful day."

"I'm putting you on bedrest for the next two months of your pregnancy, Amber." She said sternly, "It's for the best."

"But you said baby was okay-"

"Baby is fine... right now. We don't want any further complications such as stress... the last thing we want is to jump start labor two months early." The doctor said with a frown.

"Do you understand?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yes."

"Good." She replied with a small smile, "I'm releasing you. Go home, have a shower, get some sleep. If the bleeding persists, come back in, alright?"

"Thank you, Doctor." I thanked her in a low tone.

Once I was re-dressed, I made my way out into the waiting room where Megan, Christy, and Jack were all impatiently waiting. I could tell by the looks on all of their faces that they were stressed out to the max and exhausted. I couldn't blame them... after everything that's happened tonight, plus a trip to the hospital...

"Everything is okay, right?!" Megan asked with a worried look on her face.

I nodded, "Yeah... yeah everything's fine. I... I just want to go home."

"Home? you're coming with us." Christy stated, cocking an eyebrow.

I shook my head, "I'd rather be at home right now..."

"We're not leaving you alone there," Jack said firmly. "Not after everything."

"If you want to go home, then we're coming with you and staying with you there," Megan said as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Fine..." I breathed, "Let's just go... please."

Image

After what felt like forever of arguing with Christy and Megan that I was fine with them both sleeping upstairs in my bed while I took the couch, they FINALLY agreed to allow me to do so. Jack, on the other hand, decided to sleep on the other couch across from me, to keep "an eye on me". Sleep wasn't coming easy. It didn't help that I could hear possibly every little noise throughout the house - the clock on the wall ticking, the faucet dripping in the kitchen sink, Jack tossing and turning on the other couch, the fridge. Fucking everything.

Eventually, Jack fell asleep and I found myself slowly drifting off into a slumber of my own. I had told myself that I wasn't going to sleep tonight at all, but I was only lying to myself. My body was craving sleep, it felt amazing to lay down and shut my eyes..regardless of everything that had happened earlier.

It wasn't even twenty minutes into my sleep before I was woken abruptly. I sat straight up and blinked my eyes a few times, trying to focus on the sound that had woke me. Jack had clearly heard it too as he was now wide awake and off of the couch, reaching for the baseball bat next to the T.V that Billy had always had there conveniently.

"Jack?" I whispered.

Jack put his index finger in front of his lips, indicating for me to be quiet. I gulped and watched him glance around the dark house, trying to pinpoint where the noise had come from. It sounded like someone was trying to unlock the front door. Jack slowly crept across the living room and over to the front door. I watched as he slowly opened the front door and peered his head out the door, looking in both directions for any sign of anyone being here.

"Nothing" Jack called out with a sigh of relief.

"Thank God...." I grumbled.

Jack ran his fingers through his hair as he placed the baseball bat back where it was, before plopping back down on his couch and covering his face with his hands, groaning with frustration. Frowning, I laid back down and faced the back of the couch. Jack climbed back up off of the couch and grabbed his pack of cigarettes. I tried to block out the sound of the front door opening as Jack stepped outside for a cigarette.

Just as I was about to close my eyes and attempt to sleep again, a gun shot prevented me from doing so.

"Jack?!" I called out.

"Amber?!" Christy called out from upstairs.

"Stay upstairs!" I demanded as I jumped up off of the couch and picked up the baseball bat, gripping it tightly.

I bit my bottom lip nervously as I slowly made my way across the living room and over to the window. I climbed up on the other couch and pulled back the curtain a little bit, just enough to see outside. My eyes scanned around, laying upon Jack who was clutching the front of his shoulder near his chest and running towards the front door. The man who had shot Jack, fired again and again, hitting Jack several times in his legs, and sending him flying face first onto the ground. Jack immediately started to scream out in agony.

Gasping in terror, I pushed myself off of the couch and away from the window. I gulped as fear coursed it's way through my veins, making my grip on the shaft of the bat even tighter. A whimper escaped my mouth before my mouth became dry as I frantically took five steps back, looking from side to side before I hurried towards the staircase to get to Christy and Megan.

Without warning, a man jumped out from behind the wall causing a small yelp to escape from my mouth before my instincts kicked in and I raised the bat above my head and swung down, hitting him repeatedly until he stopped howling out in pain and finally fell to the floor.

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the man who had shot Jack, was now in the house with a sawed off shot gun running straight towards me. My eyes widened and without hesitation, I spun back around and leaped over the intruder on the ground's body and running up four steps of the stairs. Before Jack's shooter could run up the stairs behind me, I stopped and turned around, gritting my teeth as I swung the bat, hitting him so hard in the shoulder that he yelped out in pain as I lost grip of the bat. I acted fast and booked it up the stairs, almost slipping and falling down on my face. Jack's shooter growled and cocked his shotgun, raising it up and firing it at me.

The shooter had missed me by a thread, blowing a huge hole in the wall behind me. My heart felt like it had stopped as soon as I heard the boom from the shotgun, falling to my knees and running up the rest of the stairs like a crab. Luckily my upstairs was hardwood flooring, allowing me to slide into the upstairs bathroom as he cocked his shotgun again and fired - this time hitting the wooden stair railing, sending pieces of wood flying. Whatever the case, I somehow just managed to avoid being shot twice.

I quickly jumped to my feet in the pitch dark bathroom, running to the toilet, grabbing the porcelain top of the toilet piece. The shooter ran in the bathroom after me, struggling to flick the light on at first. He gritted his teeth as he turned on the light, but as soon as he did his eyes widened as I swung the heavy porcelain piece, hitting him dead center in the face. Just like the movies, blood and a tooth or two flew out of his mouth as I did so. I dropped the porcelain piece as he fell to the ground.

Meanwhile, A third intruder had made his way up my stairs with a single barreled rifle in his hands, as he came into view in the bathroom doorway, he pulled back the trigger on his rifle and aimed the barrel towards me. My eyes widened and all I could hear was the horrific cries of terror coming from both Bria and Julia in the other rooms and Jack howling in pain from the front steps.

I dove onto the floor, just missing the shot that the third intruder had just fired. He aimed his rifle at me again as I rolled on to my back, propping myself up with my elbows while I panted heavily, trying to catch my breathe. My eyes went even wider as I watched him pull back the trigger. Out of fear and my instincts kicked in, making me kick the bathroom door closed, watching as it swung in front of the third intruder's gun, the bullet ricocheted off the door, hitting Jack's shooter in the kneecap.

Jack's shooter screamed out in agony, crying little a newborn baby. The third intruder gasped staring down at his friend's leg, giving me time to jump up on my feet. He shot his head up in my direction as I charged at him, lunging forward and grabbing onto his shoulders, shoving him out of the bathroom and straight into the broken, wooden railing.

Boards flew as the third intruder and I flew off the landing. The wind literally was knocked out of me as we went over. It felt like we were flying for a moment until we hit the cold, hard, wooden floor. The intruder landed on his back - surprisingly not breaking his back - with me falling roughly on top of him, breaking my fall, thankfully for both mine and my child's sake. Rolling onto my now painful side, I coughed and gasped, trying to catch my breathe and remain conscious as pieces of boards from what once was the railing, flew down on us.

A piece of railing flew down and smoked me in the head, splitting the skin and blurring my vision, nearly knocking me the fuck out. Slowly, I blinked my eyes and looked around, seeing that Jack had either been dragged back inside of the house or had somehow drug his way back inside. He wasn't screaming anymore, but he was groaning and coughing as if he were choking.

Now the sounds of both Christy and Megan screaming were becoming clearer as the two other intruder's fought to push or drag them down here from upstairs. The second intruder that I had hit with the baseball bat had a fist full of Christy's hair, struggling to drag her down the stairs as she fought to free herself from him, slamming her elbows into his chest roughly, almost freeing herself too, but failed. Megan kicked and screamed, flailing around in the other masked intruders arms as he packed her down the stairs without any struggle.

"JACK!" Megan screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Let me go! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!" Christy screamed as she spun around - her hair still entwined with the man's fingers as she punched him in his masked face.

The intruder who was laying beside me slowly got up and towered over top of me, chuckling to himself before spitting on my bleeding forehead, "This bitch is knocked up"

I didn't recognize his voice, at all. I gulped and blinked my eyes a few times, fighting to stay conscious. The intruder pulled out a pistol from his belt loop and aimed it at Christy. I tried to scream, but no words came out of my mouth as he shot Christy in the thigh, causing her to fall face first down the stairs, a chunk of her hair being ripped out from the other intruder still holding her by the hair as she was shot.

"CHRISTY!" Megan screamed.

Christy's cries of agony echoed throughout the room as all three intruders walked past the three of our bodies and took hold of Megan.

"NO!" Jack gurgled out, watching as the intruders slammed Megan down on the coffee table.

One of the intruders laughed hysterically as he watched the two other intruders fight to hold Megan down. He walked backward until he was standing next to me. He stared down at me before lifting his leg up and slamming his boot down on my already split forehead. My world felt like it was in slow motion as my ears rung and my vision blurred in and out of focus. My eyes slowly scanned my surroundings - Jack lying there near death, Christy clutching the gunshot wound on her thigh and crying out in agony, Megan being pinned down on the coffee table as her clothes are ripped from her body and she's raped before all of us.

"Looks like we've finished the job." One of them said to the other after a few minutes.

The three intruders stopped and stared down at me, "That's for Matt, Syn and Zack."

Another kick to my head and this time I was knocked out cold.

As soon as the front door slammed behind them, Megan jumped up and grabbed her cell phone from the kitchen counter where she had left it before going upstairs to sleep earlier. She immediately fell to her knees beside Jack, not caring that she was naked from the waist down. She was scream crying and fighting to keep Jack from dying.

"Jack! Stay with me!" She roared.

"I NEED AN AMBULANCE!" She screamed into the phone.


	49. chapter 48

An annoying beeping sound coming from the heart monitor that I was hooked up to, awoke me from my deep slumber. My eyes fluttered as my blurred vision slowly started to become clear. My body was stiff, I felt like I was carrying five hundred pounds on my legs, making it next to impossible to move them. In my left hand was an IV. My head was pounding and whenever I lifted my brows, I could feel the tender pull on my forehead which led me to believe that I had stitches. I could only imagine what kind of pain I was going to be in once I no longer had this morphine IV drip jabbed into my hand.

"Can you shut that off...please? It's annoying." I said calmly turning my head to stare at the nurse who was checking my IV.

"The monitor? or your heart?" She teased with a warming smile. My expression remained emotionless as I stared back at her, clearly annoyed by the constant beeping.

"...I'll ask the doctor." She added in defeat before turning to leave the room.

My eyes followed the nurse out of the room and immediately landed upon Detective Wallis, leaning against the door frame. Her arms crossed and her lips pursed, clearly unimpressed with the fact that she was seeing me again in this condition. Once her eyes caught my gaze, she pressed her tongue against her cheek and stood tall.

"This stops... right now." She stated boldly in a warning tone.

I turned my head away from her, staring at the wall, avoiding eye contact with her. I felt numb all over. Both physically and mentally. Billy's...gone, Jack was shot three times, Christy was shot in the thigh, Megan was raped and I was nearly killed... all in the same night.

"God only knows why all four of you - including your baby - are still alive. But you're all being given another chance." Detective Wallis continued as she made her way into the room and towards the end of my bed, "You think I buy that bullshit story of a random B&E gone bad?"

I sighed in relief as she answered my silent question. Jack was alive, Christy was alive, Megan was okay and most importantly, my child was okay after everything that had happened. Dully, I blinked a few times, trying to block out her lecturing that was making me uncomfortable. Detective Wallis gritted her teeth, moving her jaw as she glared at me, knowing that I could care less about anything that she had to say.

"Billy wanted his retribution, and killed a punk or two and it got him what? Huh? What did it get him? I don't see him anywhere here, do I? Appears to me like it got him a body bag" She questioned as I turned my head staring directly at her, "Everybody thinks they're right in a war!"

"...Everybody still dies in the end." She added, lowering her tone. "Neither of them were ever going to win this... I told you that..."

My heart instantly sunk as my eyelids became heavy, my eyes glistening as a couple warm tears escaped my eyes, running down my bruised cheeks. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to finally speak. Choking back tears, I licked my lips and swallowed, my mouth dryer than the desert.

"I just want this to all go away..." I started, my lip quivering. "I don't want to bring my child into this life that I've been leading" I whimpered.

Detective Wallis sighed as she stared down at the ground, "Well... unfortunately you can't change how he was born, but you can change the life you've been leading for him."

"What?" I hissed, lifting my head from the pillow and wincing in pain.

"I checked on him in the NICU before coming to see if you were awake. He's beautiful."

"WHAT?!" I yelled, placing both my hands flat on the bed and using what little strength I had left to push myself up in bed and pulling up my hospital gown, revealing a much smaller stomach with a cesarian line on my bikini line area, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

"DOCTOR!" Wallis shouted as I kicked my legs over the bed and brought the blanket with it.

Wincing, I ripped the morphine drip out of my hand and stood up. My legs wobbled and threatened to give out underneath of me.

"Amber, Amber... woah, woah please get back into bed." Wallis pleaded with me, reaching out for me.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I snapped, "Where is my son?! Where is he?! What the fuck happened?!"

"Miss please get back into bed!" The nurse from earlier said as she entered the room, "Your son is fine, he is receiving the best possible care."

"What happened?!" I screamed, tears pouring down my face as I realized that I had been unconscious during my first time giving birth.

A male doctor along with two other nurses ran into the room, pushing past Wallis and grabbing me by my arms. I fought to get out of their grip while I bawled my eyes out. This was a bad dream... this had to be a bad fucking dream.

"Mam, you need to calm down, okay?" The doctor said calmly, only making me more mad.

"I am calm!" I exclaimed, "I just want to know what happened and where he is!"

"He's in the NICU, where we're monitoring him. He was in distress, we had no choice. We had to get him out of you immediately for both of your sake." The doctor explained.

"I want to see him" I sniffled, staring at Wallis with pleading eyes.

She winced and looked at the doctor, "It's her right. We're done here for now. Let her see her son."

The doctor nodded, "Someone get a chair please"

"No, I'm fine... I wanna walk... please just take to him."

The doctor sighed, "Are you sure?"

"My mother use to walk around the hospital within 7 hours of giving birth via c-section to my siblings... I can do it, I need to do it." I assured the frowning Doctor.

As we were leaving the room, I glanced back over my shoulder and mouthed 'Thank you' to Detective Wallis for getting the doctor to take me to see my baby.

Walking down the hospital halls gave me the uneasiest feeling of all, knowing that Jack was in some room hooked up to a machine with Megan sitting next to him struggling to cope with the trauma of watching the love of her life be shot three times right before being raped by masked intruders, and Christy being in some room by herself in pain both mentally and physically due to being shot point blank in the thigh just hours after Heco being killed, months after Joe being killed. But regardless of everything, we were all still alive....

When we reached the NICU, I immediately went to the first baby, the only baby I saw. My heart shattered into a million little pieces as I stared down at my son with all these things stuck to his chest and a tube coming out of his mouth. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I caressed his cheek. He was in a small diaper that looked so big on him and was wearing a knitted blue hat on his head.

"Mommy's here...." I managed to choke out a whisper, squeezing my eyes shut tight as I placed his little hand in the palm of my own. "Mommy's right here..."

Image

One week later

I hadn't left my son's side unless I was forced to by the nurses. I was with him at every waking moment except to shower, sleep for a couple of hours and then I'd be back by his side. It had been a week since I first laid eyes on my son, and to say I was in love with him would be an understatement. I was crazy about him. I never knew life had so much meaning until I laid eyes on him. Though he was tiny, he was beautiful. He was already progressing really well and the doctor predicts we will be out of here and able to go home within six weeks.

Nobody had come to see me except for Bodie, and the only reason why he came to see me was to see what I wanted him to do with "Bones Body Shop" in which I told him to take care of everything, make sure the mechanics are paid on time and that everything is done the same as usual. Bodie assured me that Ramona would be taking care of the bills and doing the paperwork for the body shop. One less stress I had to worry about.

"'How do you spell love, Pooh?' Piglet asked. Pooh replied, 'You don't spell love, you feel it'" I read out loud, flipping the page in the book.

A knock at the already opened door caused me to looked up from the children's book I was reading to my son. I smiled at Megan who slowly tip-toed into the room and grinned widely as she rested her eyes on Shaun.

"He's so beautiful!" Megan squealed in awe. "What did you name him?"

"Shaun," I replied with a smile watching her coo over him, "Shaun Joseph Darley."

"Hi, beebs! When you're big and strong, aunty is gonna spoil you!" Megan giggled, kissing his little hand.

"How's Jack doing?" I asked slowly.

Megan sighed and stood back up before running her fingers through her messy hair, "He's awake now... He's... he's alright"

"Everything went well?" I asked in a hopeful tone.

Megan shook her head, "He's going to be wheelchair bound for quite awhile...I'm actually going to be meeting the physiotherapist next week before Jack starts going to do physio..."

"Physio will help, right? He will walk again, Meg."

"We don't have insurance..." Megan sighed. "We can afford physio with what he made working for Billy... but after that, we're fucked."

"We will figure something out Meg, get him working at the shop or something," I assured her, placing my tattooed hand over her tattooed hand.

"I hope so...." Megan murmured.

"What about Christy?" I asked, suddenly feeling like a piece of shit for not even bothering to check up on my best friend who has no friends or family here.

"She's alright... they released her a few days ago. She's tried to come by a few times but she figured it'd be best to give you some time alone with Shaun. I would have come by sooner to meet him, but.... I couldn't leave Jack."

"I know, Meg. It's fine."

"Do you want me to tell Christy that it's cool if she comes and meets him?" Megan asked, gently stroking the top of Shaun's head.

"Please." I urged.

Megan nodded slowly as she walked over to me and gave me a brief hug. Feeling her embrace was comforting and something I needed at that very moment. Everything going on in life right now was so overwhelming that I almost can't remember what "normal" is.

"Amber?"

"Yeah?"

"...Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, Meg."

"...I didn't tell the paramedics that I was raped."

"Why?..."

"I was afraid if they ran DNA tests and found out who... did that to me... that Wallis would find them and it would only cause more problems..." Megan admitted, "...We all got lucky... But I can't help but think our luck is wearing thin."

"We know who did this." I quipped.

"Have... have you ate? You look sick." Megan asked, changing the subject.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, I genuinly laughed, "That's a nice way of saying I look like shit."

Megan smirked, "That's because you do."

I rolled my eyes and giggled, "Thanks buddy. Love you too."

"Well?" Megan asked with a raised brow.

"I've had three bites out of a sandwhich in the past week. I've been too busy." I replied honestly, nodding towards Shaun.

"At that rate you're gonna be back to your pre pregnancy weight by the time Shaun get's out of here." Megan shook her head, "But I can't lecture you... I've hardly ate either."

"I pretty much am already." I mumbled.

"Hey Meg?"

"Yeah?" She answered, sititng down beside me.

"I'm.... thinking about going home for a couple of weeks when Shaun is released from the hospital. I think I should attempt to make good with my parents again.... let them meet Shaun. What do you think about taking over what Ramona's doing at the shop? She's grieving Baggy and needs to stop missing work at The Four Roses.... I figured you could use the cash."

"Fuck yeah I will, you can trust me to take care of everything!" Megan exclaimed, smiling widely.

"I know I can." I replied. "In fact, I want you to start immediately. You need the cash and you can work around your real job."

Megan pretended to think about it for a minute before giggling and giving me another hug, "I think I could do that"

We then sat next to eachother in silence, just staring at Shaun and smiling amongst ourselves. After a few minutes, Megan rested her head on my shoulder and I rested the side of my face against the top of her head. It was at that moment that I realized that things are going to be okay as long as I stay strong. Not just for me, but for Shaun.

This little boy laying in a glorified glass box, hooked up to these machines, didn't ask to be born into a life like this. It's my job to prevent him from any more harm. Be damned if I'm not going to do just that.


	50. chapter 49

Six Weeks Later

"That's mommy's big boy!" I praised Shaun, who had just finished his third bottle of the day and it wasn't even noon yet.

"Yes, you are a big boy!" Christy cooed, scooping Shaun from my arms and sitting down on the wooden rocking chair that the hospital had in the NICU room. "Whatcha figure Shaun? Should aunty break you out of this fucking place?"

"Language." I scolded dully, not looking up from my phone as I read through my emails.

"Are you forgetting who his parents are?" Christy chuckled.

"Nope. Ugh."

"What?"

"My mom's going through her second childhood..." I replied with a groan.

"Do you blame her? she's hot and single." Christy laughed.

I clicked my jaw to the side and stared up in Christy's direction, "She's not even technically separated from my dad yet."

"So?"

"So... he's already got cancer spreading throughout his body, he doesn't need some random STD my mom brings home from the YOUNGER men she's been fucking."

"Is it really that bad?" Christy asked with a frown.

I nodded and sighed, "I wish I would have known... I would have gone home earlier, patched things up and accepted that my family is dysfunctional yet functional in its own fucked up way."

"You can't think like that, it'll just make shit worse," Christy said as she held out her index finger and smiled warmly as Shaun wrapped his hand around it. "I can't believe how big he's gotten."

"He's my miracle chubbster who is set to be discharged from the hospital tomorrow at noon!" I squealed in excitement, "Thank fucking God. I just want to get him out of here."

Christy snorted, "No shit."

"It's gonna be hard leaving him here tonight..." I exhaled a shaky breath, "But I gotta get the house cleaned up and pack for the trip."

"Clean?" Christy cocked an eyebrow, "I thought Jamie took care of the railing and Ramona and Amanda cleaned up the blood and shit?"

"They did. Do you know who lived there? I want no trace of cigarette smell anywhere in that house." I replied sharply.

"And the trip?"

"What about it?"

"Oh, I don't know Amber, what do you think?"

Shrugging, I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek, "What?"

"Did you get our tickets?" She asked wide-eyed in disbelief that I hadn't caught on to her question, "and are you sure it's safe to fly Shaun there?"

"Obviously." I said rolling my eyes, "Meg's got them at the shop. And yes, I double checked with Shaun's doctor, the NICU nurses, and the pediatrician, he's perfectly fine to travel the few hour flight."

"So what's the agenda for tonight? clean and pack?"

I nodded but didn't reply.

"I'll go home and pack my shit and then head over. Is it gonna be weird being back in the house? Everything being the same as you left it... the same way as Billy left it?" Christy asked as she slowly stood up and carefully put Shaun down in his glorified glass box.

Thinking about that made me feel like someone had just punched me in the stomach and stabbed me in the heart. I've been so busy with Shaun that I hadn't even really had time to think about it. I mean, of course, I've thought about Billy... hell, I think about him every few minutes.

"Nah, I mean... it won't be that weird." I lied through my teeth. Standing up myself, I smiled down at Shaun before planting a soft kiss on the top of his head, "Mommy will be here in the morning and then we're getting out of Dodge, alright kiddo? I love you"

More than life itself....

Image

My first stop before heading home was Bones' Body Shop to pick up mine and Shaun and Christy's plane tickets for tomorrow evening. Nothing was different, it still looked the exact same as it did two months ago. I almost felt stupid for thinking that anything would have changed in the seven weeks that I've been in the hospital with Shaun. Bones' Pitbulls were still chained up outside of the office part of the body shop, cars were still being worked on inside of the shop, the mechanics still had classic rock and roll blasted throughout the shop bays - Jimi Hendrix's "All Along The Watchtower" - to be exact.

Chop slept soundly at Megan's feet underneath the desk she was sat at. The desk that Billy had sat at not too long ago, the desk that once belonged to Bones. Surprisingly, I was doing better than I expected while being in here. In fact, I was perfectly fine until I walked past the last mechanic bay with the big bay door closed and locked. There she was, Billy's black with blood red tribal markings near the front, 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback.

My mouth felt dry as a rock hard lump formed inside of my throat. My hands trembled at my sides and again, it felt like someone had just punched the soul right out of me. God, I fucking miss him... I need him...

"Amber!" Megan called out, causing Chop to jump up and charge full blast at me.

Chop was no longer a pup, to say the least. Bodie and the boys have clearly been keeping him fed well because when he jumped up at me, he nearly knocked me down on my ass.

"Oof!"

"Chop! Down, come on! Fuck ya doin'?" Bodie whistled from behind me.

"Looks like Chop's excited to see you, too!" Megan giggled as she walked over to me and handed me the plane tickets, "You all packed for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Bodie asked cocking an eyebrow, "What's tomorrow?"

"I'm going home to see my family for a few weeks with Christy. My dad's sick and I think Shaun should meet his grandpa before he gets any worse." I explained.

"That a good idea?" Bodie pressed.

I rolled my eyes, "Do you really think I would be going if it wasn't?"

Bodie shrugged before wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "It's my job to look out for ya, dawg."

"Well, you're doin' a good job," I replied, nudging him in the arm.

"Christy just texted me asking if I'd pick her up and take her to your place, I guess she's all done packing her bags. We'll head there and grab her whenever you're ready. You ready to go? " Megan asked.

Nodding, I quickly gave Bodie a one armed hug, "Yeah let's go."

"You take care now, ya hear?" Bodie smirked.

"You do the same," I chuckled and stared at him from over my shoulder, "And Bodie?"

"Yeah, Amb?"

"Thank you for everything you've done lately..."

Bodie placed a cigarette between his lips and lit the end before answering me, "It's what we do. We is good as blood, all of us. Family in a fucked up way."

Image

It hadn't even been a full 30 minutes after Megan and I left the shop, when Detective Wallis sped into the parking lot, spitting rocks everywhere as she came to a screeching stop. She quickly cut the engine and climbed out of her squad car, slamming the door shut behind her before storming into the shop.

"Yo! Bodie! Ya sister's here!" One of the mechanics yelled out.

Bodie immediately made his way over to her, "Well, well, look who it is."

"Don't start with me," Jessica warned, "I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit today."

Bodie smirked a smugly, "Either the second coming of Christ just happened or you're here to arrest me. So which is it?....Sis."

Jessica narrowed her eyes into a cold, hard glare. Her eyes glanced around at her surroundings, landing on Billy's car parked in one of the mechanic bays. Jessica placed both hands on her hips and nodded to herself slowly.

"Where's Billy?"

Bodie stared at her wide-eyed full of surprise, "Ya hear?"

Jessica tilted her head to the side slightly, becoming more and more impatient as the seconds passed.

"Billy got trapped inside that fire, trying to find our boy 'Dog', ya remember Dog right?"

Jessica closed her eyes and sighed an aggravated sigh, "Oh bullshit. I know that place was, and you know I know what you guys used that abandoned mental hospital for. Or did you forget that I grew up with you fucks, after all?"

Bodie shrugged, "Billy's gone man.... he's dead."

Jessica glared a hole right through her brother, "Oh really? Well, guess what?"

"What's that?" Bodie asked, now glaring at her right back.

"This morning I received all the DNA tests from the bodies found burnt crisp in that fire." Jessica paused to look past her brother at Jamie, "Not one of those bodies found were Billy Darley."

Jamie dropped the alternator he was cleaning and stood tall while Bodie's cigarette fell out from in between his lips. Jessica smirked in satisfaction at the reactions from Jamie and Bodie alone.

"If he went after the house invaders who attacked Amber and the others, and you're covering for him... so help me God, Bodie. I will haul your ass straight to jail." Jessica threatened.

Bodie's eyes were wide with shock and his mouth hung agape as he made eye contact with his sister and slowly shook his head 'no'. Jessica's facial features lightened up quite a bit as she realized that her brother was actually telling the truth for once in his life. She knew him better than anyone (besides Billy), she knew when he was lying to her or not.

Jessica sighed loudly, "Well... I'll leave you to it, then. Goodbye, brother."

Bodie waited until Detective Wallis was out of the shop before he replied with a gruff voice, "Bye"


	51. chapter 50

"Fired?! The fuck for! We did what we were told to do!" A man in his mid 30's named Ryan, barked at Charlie.

"I said to SCARE them, not shoot or rape them." Charlie hissed between gritted teeth.

"The pregnant one fucking started swinging at Ryan with a bat, what the fuck were we suppose to do?!" Another man in his late 40's named Clayton, joined in. "She flew off a flight of stairs with him".

"Maybe you should have been more specific," The final man said. His name was Daryl, and he was the rapist.

"You're fucking lucky I don't blow you away myself, you son of a bitch" Charlie spat.

The petite, platinum blonde almost silver haired girl with tattoos that stood next to Charlie, narrowed her eyes at all three of the men. She had a fiery passion burning inside of her eyes, almost like she was just waiting for any of them men to retaliate like she was almost daring them to try and do or say anything back to her man.

"Get the fuck out of here" She shouted coolly.

"What the fuck are we suppose to do now?!" One of the men shouted, slamming their fist down on the desk separating them from Charlie and Kori.

Charlie wrapped his arm around Kori and smirked before replying, "Pray."

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For once, something actually went in my favour and worked out nicely. Shaun had slept through most of the flight, our luggage never got lost, the weather was perfect. The funniest part of the whole flight was seeing Christy have a mini panic attack when taking off, and seeing how good she was with Shaun. In fact, overall, Christy is amazing with Shaun. For someone who claims they will never have kids because they don't like kids, she's pretty fucking amazing with my son. Maybe Shaun brought that out in her.

"Where the fuck is my mother?" I said, exhaling a deep breath. "Fuck this, I'm not waiting any longer let's call an Uber."

"Oh... my... God..." Christy's jaw dropped, causing me to turn around and see what it was she was looking at.

There she was, my younger sister who looked like a younger, sluttier, no tattoos, version of myself. Her raven coloured hair was longer than mine, she was shorter than me but we both shared petite frames. She was dressed in a black pencil skirt, a red flowy tank top, and black six-inch heels. Her makeup was perfectly contoured, dark smokey eyes and crimson red lips. Meanwhile, there was Christy and I... Christy being in black sweatpants and a wifebeater, me in black leggings that stopped mid-calf, black converse shoes and a hoodie that contained baby spit up on the shoulder.

"She's like... a better-kept version of yourself," Christy stated, awakening me from my thoughts. I glared at her and she shrugged, "Okay fine, a pre-mom version of yourself."

"Excuse me for not bothering to put on makeup just to catch a flight with a newborn for the first time" I mumbled, grabbing the handle of Shaun's car seat and lugging him over towards my sister. "And there's my mother..."

"Amber!" Both my mother and sister squealed in excitement.

"Sasha... mom..."

"Jesus, you're thin!" My mom said with wide eyes, "Are you doing that Redbox diet?! I heard it works great."

Christy snickered and knelt down with Sasha to awe over a sleeping Shaun in his car seat. Of course, I was losing weight, my son was born 8 weeks early and I've spent almost every minute of the day with him in the NICU, not to mention the fact that I just lost Billy the night before. So thanks, mother. Good observation.

I shook my head, "I don't even know what that is."

Mom pursed her lips and raised her brows, "Herbalife?"

"...No."

"Damn, nothing?!"

"Nothing..." I replied.

"Ugh to be young again..." Mom sighed, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder before kneeling down and making kissy faces at Shaun.

"Where's dad?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

Sasha clicked her jaw to the side and stood up, "Lana is taking him to the hospital."

"What?! Why?" I asked, feeling my own heart sink.

"He's fine, he just has been neglecting to take his medication so Lana is forcing him to go in" Sasha replied with a sigh.

"Why isn't he taking them?" I asked as Christy and my mom carried our bags and Shaun towards the airport parking lot.

"You know dad, he's stubborn as fuck."

I laughed faintly, "Yeah but you'd think..."

"He just doesn't care, you know? He sees no point... he know's he will be going at any time now." Sasha breathed, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm surprised Lana got him to do that..." I murmured, nodding at Christy in appreciation for buckling Shaun in the backseat. Sighing, I climbed into the passenger seat and waited for my mother to start the suburban up, "How is she, by the way?"

"Well she's the oldest, it makes her wise." Mom giggled, "Nah, she just was typical Lana, screaming and carrying on until he agreed to go with her."

"I wish she would have waited for me to be there..." I said with a frown.

"Why don't you go?" Christy asked from the backseat, "Your mom can drop you off and I'll watch Shaun at your parent's place."

I cocked an eyebrow and turned to look at Christy in the backseat, "Really? am I hearing this right?"

Christy rolled her eyes, "I like Shaun, other kids can fuck off."

"Really?" Mom giggled, staring back at Christy in the rear view mirror.

Christy shrugged, "How hard can it be? Y'all will be there with me too."

"Dad could probably use the surprise, he hates hospitals," Sasha stated.

Mom turned her head and looked at me, "Maybe ditch the baby puke covered hoodie first, though."

I smirked, "Probably should, huh?"

"Hey," Christy snorted, "Maybe you'll run into Julia."

Julia was mine and Christy's other best friend since middle school. She's tough, beautiful and incredibly smart. Unlike Christy and I, she had a plan what she wanted to do with life since she was fifteen, she's now a nurse in training. She was ten times more sarcastic than I am, and probably the bitchiest person I have ever me, but you'd never know it by looking at her from afar as she was incredibly beautiful and sweet to others. Her biggest trademark is her super long wavy hair. She's an army brat and the result of mixing a blue eyed caucasian soldier with a brown eyed, African American nurse in the military, for parents. Her features are to die for, would be a mere understatement.

She may be a bitch, but she's passionate about the ones she loves and cares for. Julia has always had my back since day one. Though she was one of my best friends and only friend after Christy moved to Boston, she never knew about Shane's abuse. Mostly because I know for a fact she would have killed him.

Christy finds it funny that I'll run into her unexpectedly, because she damn well knows Julia is going to jump down my throat for keeping her out of the loop ever since I left, and definitely because I didn't tell her I was pregnant, let alone tell her that I had my son. Yeah, I'm definitely going to never hear the end of that.

"Want some?" Sasha asked in a muffled tone, holding out a bag of M&M's to offer to Christy.

Christy groaned, "Yes, yes I fucking do. These are gonna go straight to my ass but I am starving."

"So where's Billy? How come he couldn't make it? He didn't wanna meet the family?" Mom asked, finally breaking the question I'm sure all of my family are curious about.

Wincing, I clicked my jaw to the side as I watched Christy pour out some M&M's into the palm of her hand and throw them back like she was popping pills or something. Slowly, I turned back around in my seat and drummed my fingertips against my knees, trying to figure out what to say. Mom glanced at me for a second with one of her eyebrows raised as she turned up the radio. Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina" started to play and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from laughing.

"Yeah Amb, why couldn't Billy come?" Christy asked with a smirk on her lips.

"You gonna eat them all?" Sasha asked with a pout.

Christy shrugged as she poured some more out into the palm of her hand, "I'm hungry, Jesus."

"Well?" Mom asked with a smirk.

"Ah you know," I shrugged, "Busy being a cop...and...all"

A loud cough came from Christy's mouth and she flew back in her seat, holding her throat as she began to choke on the M&M's after hearing what I had just lied and said Billy did for a living. I covered my mouth with my fist and held back my laughter as mom pulled over in front of the hospital doors and spun around in her seat to look at Christy who was turning red from laughing/choking.

"That's what you get for eating almost all of them," Sasha said dully, glaring at Christy.

"We got a choker!" Mom declared, grabbing a bottle of water from her center console and handing it to Christy, "One at a time, sweetheart. Damn you're just like me when I sneak a few chips here and there." Mom chuckled, looking at Christy who was chugging back the water like it was Jesus juice.

"Chew your food, Chris." I giggled, opening the door and walking over to the backseat and opening the door to give sleeping Shaun a quick peck on the forehead.

"Yeah." Christy gasped, wiping away tears from under her eyes, "Whatever you say there, Buck Rogers."

Smirking, I shut the door before exhaling a slow breath and made my way over to the sliding hospital doors. Judging by the looks I was getting from people in the hospital, I had totally forgotten to take the hoodie I was still wearing, off in my mom's SUV. My face twisted in disgust and I immediately made my way to the first ladies public washroom and pulled off my hoodie and tucked it under my arm.

My heart was racing, my stomach was churning and the lump forming in my throat made me feel queasy like I had to throw up. I wasn't afraid of facing my dad after all this time, I knew that if anything, he'd be happy to hear I wasn't with Shane anymore. I just... don't know how to handle seeing my dad - the rock of the family - sick and dying. I don't want to cry in front of him, that'll only upset him and make things uncomfortable. I think the best thing to do is act like everything's okay and make up for lost time with my father and allow him to be the only grandfather Shaun has.

Sighing, I turned from staring at myself in the bathroom mirror and gasped slightly as a thin, older - mid 50's - overly tanned almost orange woman stood in front of me with her arms crossed. My eyes widened and my jaw fell agape at the sight of her. I knew exactly who this bitch was... she was a fucking junkie who made my life hell when I was with Shane.

She smirked at me, folded her arms and leaning against the bathroom door. I clicked my jaw to the side and sat my hoodie on the counter next to the sinks. My hands balled into fists at my sides as she locked the bathroom door and slowly approached me.

"Where's my son, you little bitch?"

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Back in Boston at Bones' shop, things were quiet, an eery quiet. Not because the shop closed at 6 and it was now 8pm, but because the two large pit bull dogs that once belonged to Bones who literally live at the shop guarding the place were quiet and not barking at the intruder that was now inside of the shop.

One of the pit bull actually stood next to the hooded intruder that stood in front of Billy's beloved 1969 Ford mustang. The intruder leaned his head all the way back and exhaled cigarette smoke up in the air. The dog stayed sitting in the same spot while the intruder made his way around to the back of Billy's car and over to the garage bay door, pressing the button and tossing his cigarette outside once the airlift on the bay door was high enough to see the outside.

The intruder then casually walked around to the drivers side door and unlocked Billy's car door with the car keys he had found in the desk that once belonged to Bones. The intruder plopped down in the drivers seat and opened the glove box, cursing to himself when he couldn't find whatever he was looking for that was suppose to be in that glove box.

"Fuck" The intruder growled as he slammed the glove box shut and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

The intruder started the car before placing a cigarette between his lips and lit the end of his cigarette. His cheeks caved in as he sucked back the first drag off of the cigarette. Snorting, he used his free hand to push his hood off and run his fingers through his short dirty blonde colored hair.

His cellphone in his pocket began to ring just as he was about to put the car in reverse and leave the garage. Instead, he grabbed his phone and tiled his head to the side to scratch his facial hair as he read the call display on his phone screen.

Kori

He blinked absent-mindedly a few times before sliding the screen to the right and held it up to his ear, "Yeah?"

"I texted you the names and addresses of the three intruders who attacked your woman." She stated dully, "I uh, hope that helps."

He exhaled smoke into the receiver and smirked, "It will."

"Be safe Billy..." Kori said softly before hanging up on him.

Billy placed his burning cigarette back in between his lips and carelessly tossed his cell phone down on the empty passenger seat. Without any other interruptions, he placed his left hand on top of the steering wheel and used his right hand to pull the shifter down into reverse, his tires squealing as rocks flying around as he backed out of the garage. He shifted the car into drive and sped off out onto the road.

While driving, Billy glanced down at his phone and opened Kori's text she had sent him with all the names, addresses, and locations of where the three intruders might be. He clenched his jaw as he read the first name, Ryan Peck. Billy had sold to that junky before and knew exactly where to find him.

Billy was back and had three loose ties to cut short before going home to Amber. He vowed that he was going to make these three pricks wish they never fucked with what was Billy Darley's. After all, he protects what's his.


	52. chapter 51

My mouth fell agape and my throat became dry as I thought about my answer. The fact that I actually thought that none of this shit from my past would eventually catch up to me, is ludicrous. Shane didn't even like his own mother - she was abusive and controlling and not to mention, an alcoholic who only cares about getting a bottle for the night. I've only ever met this bitch a few times, all of those times she was unbelievably ignorant towards me.

"Is that my grand baby I saw you saying goodbye to outside?" She asked snidely, folding her arms across her chest.

Rolling my eyes, I headed towards the door, "No, that isn't actually. Now excuse me."

"You're not going anywhere," She hissed through gritted teeth, grabbing me by the upper arm, "Where the fuck is Shane?! I haven't heard from him in months!"

"I don't know, you stupid old bitch," I growled, yanking my arm free from her grip, "In case you didn't know, your son and I broke up almost a year ago and I moved away."

"Oh, I know. I know all about you, you little tramp. You left my son here heartbroken and now you're back in town with some bastard kid and your slut of a mother, to top it off." She snarled in disgust.

"Liz..." I started in a low but warning tone, "If you don't get the fuck out of my way-"

"What are you gonna do? You think I'm scared of some scrawny little tramp?" She laughed, "Fuck right off."

"Get the fuck out of my way... NOW" I shouted, clenching my jaw.

"Oh right! I heard! you must be in a hurry!" She fake exclaimed, "Daddy's about to croak! Who are you gonna bum off of now? You're not with Shane anymore and your Daddy is about-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence because I threw my sweater down onto the floor and grabbed hold of her by her scrawny, leathery from too much tanning neck and slammed her up against a closed bathroom stall. I was so mad that I was seeing red and obviously not thinking straight because when I slammed her up against the stall door, we went flying into the stall and Liz landed roughly against the toilet.

She grabbed at my hair as she regained her balance and slammed me up against the wall of the stall. A broken tampon/pad dispenser that was barely hanging up on the wall by a thread, fell to the floor and a couple used tampons slid out and touched Liz's sandaled feet. She growled in disgust before receiving one of my boney knees dead center of her crotch.

"OOF!"

Liz hunched over for a second, giving me a chance to grab her by the shoulders and literally throw her out of the bathroom stall, down onto the dirty un-kept bathroom floor. Liz pulled her knee to her chest and extended her leg out to kick me in the face as I charged at her. Luckily for me, I covered my face with my arms as she did so, preventing her from succeeding in booting me the face.

Dropping to me knees beside her, I pulled my right arm back and slammed my fist into the side of her face. My anger had caused me to literally "black out". I continued to punch Liz in the face until my punches slowed down as I grew tired, giving Liz the advantage to claw at my neck, wrists, and hand. She eventually somehow managed to shove me back off of her, kicking me in the chest and sending me flying back into the stall.

As my back collided with the porcelain toilet bowl, I winced and stared up at the ceiling, panting as I tried to catch my breath and calm myself down.

"You fucking little cunt!" She screamed, jumping up to her feet and charging at me with her arms extended.

My eyes widened as she wrapped her bony hands around my throat and applied pressure. I knew she wasn't going to 'kill me' if anything she was probably just going to strangle me a little until I almost pass out. Unfortunately for her... I'm not going to let that happen.

"Fucking cunt!" She screamed again, using her thumbnails to claw more marks against my throat.

My eyes watered as I shifted them over to the tampon/pad dispenser on the floor next to my left. I glanced back up at Liz for a brief second before reaching for it and smoking her against the side of the head with it. Liz instantly released the grip she had around my throat and fell off of me. Bloody used tampons and pads flew everywhere around her as she huddled in the fetal position and held her head.

Slowly, I stood up and gasped for air before towering over her, "Don't you ever talk about my dad or my child again, or next time you'll be eating that fucking tampon dispenser."

With that, I knelt down and picked up my sweater and pulled it on over my head, hoping to cover the fresh claw marks on my chest and throat. I no longer cared if there was a trace of baby puke on the shoulder, if anything, my dad would understand... I'm a mother to a new baby.

"Go to hell," She growled at me as I unlocked the bathroom door.

Pausing, I glanced back at her from over my shoulder as I opened the door, "Already there."

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Billy smirked triumphantly as he parked his car along the sidewalk across the street from the house party that was currently taking place. Daryl's truck was parked right in front of his car. Billy had originally planned to go after the other two first, but given that he was in the area... and this one was the one who raped Megan...participated in shooting Jack and Christy, could have killed Amber and his unborn child, Billy decided that this one had to go first.

Billy glanced at himself in the rear-view mirror, hardly recognizing the person looking back at him. It had been years since he had let his hair grow in. The only thing recognizable on him at this moment was his tribal markings that ran up one side of his neck.

Though he looked a couple years younger now with hair than he did with the shaved head, he still appeared just as ruthless as ever - and no amount of hair or not was going to change that. He hadn't bothered to shave it while he was gone dealing with some business that needed his attention for the past eight weeks. He was only keeping it until Amber seen it, just to see her reaction - and her smile - before he shaves it off again and goes back to the "normal" life he leads.

Slowly, Billy climbed out of his car and yanked his smoke out from in between his lips and flicked it to the ground. He tilted his head back towards the sky, exhaling a cloud of smoke from his mouth. He patted his back pocket, feeling around for the switchblade that he'd need once he's inside of the party. Of course, he had a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, but attracting attention was the last thing he wanted, and even though cops really could care less if someone from this side of town gets killed, they still have to come if they're called.

The two-story house was crowded with a mixture of young adults around Amber's age and people anywhere from 25-35. Most of them Billy recognized from his days when he was dealing for Bones. His tribal markings on his neck were visible but his hoodie did a good job of hiding most of the tribal, and with the hair on his head, it was doubtful anyone would take two glances at him and think that he was actually Billy Darley.

Daft Punk's "Around The World" blasted throughout the house as Billy entered the crowded house party. A plum haired girl who was leaning against the wall by the stairway, pursed her lips as she eyed Billy up and down. Her eyes twinkled as she watched Billy glanced around, clearly looking someone. Billy didn't even so much as glanced at her until she pushed herself away from the wall and stood in front of Billy, preventing him from going anywhere.

"Looking for someone?" She asked in a seductive tone, leaning her head back and smirking up at Billy, "Sarah."

"Bil-" Billy paused changing his mind on telling her his name and glanced down at the girl, smirking, "You alone here Sarah?"

Sarah nodded before standing on her tiptoes, "Was. But doesn't look like I am anymore."

Billy wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders and led her upstairs. Sarah willingly wrapped one of her arms around his waist. Billy opened the first door he could find, seeing a couple making out on a single bed with cocaine lines on top of a CD case on the bedside table.

"Get the fuck out" Billy barked, the couple instantly doing what they were told.

Sarah smirked and kicked the door shut with her heel before standing in front of Billy again. Billy placed both hands on her hips and watched as she pulled her tank top off, revealing her bare breasts. She took a step forward and grabbed Billy's wrists and placed his hands on her chest.

"I love this song," She giggled as Justin Timberlake's "My Love" pumped throughout the house.

"Yeah?" Billy asked in a deep groggy voice.

She bit her lip and nodded, taking a step back, she plopped down on the bed and spread her legs, her skirt hiking up her hips. With one hand she started to play with one of her nipples while her free hand ran up and down her panties. She smirked, pulling her thong to the side and teased herself with one of her fingers. She was clearly wet and expecting Billy to take over.

"What do you want me to do for you, nameless?" She asked as she fingered herself in front of him.

Billy smirked and hovered over her, "I need you to bring someone up here for me."

"You want a threesome?" She asked, grabbing his hand and placing it on her wet folds.

Billy nearly cringed at the thought of what kind of diseases this bitch could be carrying. But he knew he had to lure Daryl up here somehow without causing too much commotion in the process.

"Not exactly." He replied, planting a kiss on her neck. "Get dressed."

"What?" She hissed, sitting up, her face only a few inches away from Billy's.

Billy stood tall and reached around his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and grabbing an $100 bill from inside. He then tossed it down onto Sarah's naked chest.

"You know a guy named Daryl Hansen?"

"Yeah?"

"Lure him up here."

Sarah swallowed hard, "You gay or something?"

"I got a problem with him that needs solving." Billy stated coldly, "Do it."

"So I pretend I want to fuck the toughest, meanest biker here... Then what? He beats on me when I suddenly turn him down until you deal with him?" Sarah quipped.

Billy shook his head, "It ain't gonna get that far"

"So I'm risking myself for what? A lousy hundred bucks?" She scoffed.

Billy shrugged, "That'll pay for your coke habit costs tonight."

Sarah stood up and pulled her skirt down before kneeling down and picking up her shirt. She stuffed the $100 dollar bill in her shirt and sniffled a little, probably her body telling her that it was time for another line.

"Do you at least want me to suck your cock?" She asked dully. "I'm pretty good at it," she winked.

Billy placed an unlit cigarette in between his lips and lit the end before looking back at Sarah from over his shoulder, "My woman at home does a good enough job doing that."

Sarah rolled her eyes, "She ain't here now is she?"

"Go get the fucking guy," Billy barked.

"He'll rape me!" She exclaimed, "He did it to one of my friends when she sucked his dick and left it at that. He's a sick-"

"He raped my friend too," Billy said slowly while inhaling cigarette smoke, "Now go get him," Billy demanded, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

Sarah seemed to suddenly get the point of all of this. She nodded and gave Billy a weak smile of understanding.

"Where are you gonna be?"

"Right in the bathroom. Get him in, get him hard."

"And then what?!"

"You go your way."

Sarah swallowed hard and nodded. Billy carelessly dropped his cigarette down onto the carpet and stepped on it. Sarah left the bedroom and Billy made his way into the small and dirty bathroom, closing the door behind him.

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"Amber?!"

"Julia!" I exclaimed, shoving my now throbbing, bleeding knuckled hand into the pocket of my baby puke on the shoulder hoodie.

"If I wasn't busy right now trying to convince your dad to eat, I'd be whooping your ass for not telling me you were pregnant," Julia said in a hushed whisper.

I frowned, "My life has been so hectic lately-"

"Too hectic for your friends and family?" She questioned, silencing my excuses immediately. I licked my lips and tried to find something to say but couldn't. "You're lucky I love you." She added with a giggle, pulling me into a much-needed hug.

Embracing somebody was a content feeling that I've been longing for. I could feel myself wanting to cry, but I needed to be strong.

"How's my dad?" I asked with a frown as we pulled apart.

Julia placed one hand on her hip and the other hand ran through the top of her hair. She let out a sigh and shrugged, "He's stubborn. Too proud to accept help. But... He seems to be okay with this."

"Is he..." I paused, clearing my throat. "Is he in pain?"

Julia nodded, "It's just the aftermath of chemo."

"He's not eating?" I questioned nervously.

Julia sighed again, "He says just because he's dying doesn't mean he wants to eat dog shit hospital food."

My mouth became dry and I had a hard time not hunching over and vomiting all over the floor. I knew my dad was sick, but I didn't realize just how sick he really was. Hearing it basically come from one of my best friend's mouth made me realize how hard this really was going to be.

"Can I go in?" I managed to choke out, "I'll get him to eat..."

Julia nodded "I'm supposed to make sure he's eating before I'm able to get ready to leave for the night... But, if you think you can do it, then yeah, you can."

"I know I can," I assured her.

Julia smiled, "Good, because I sure as hell can't,"

"You still mad?" I asked with a smirk.

Julia narrowed her eyes into a glare, "Of course I am. But, I'll forgive you once I meet Shaun tomorrow."

"Deal."

"And... We're going out tomorrow night. You, me, and Christy." Julia announced.

"I can't-"

"Don't give me that shit, knowing your mom she'd gladly watch him."

I rolled my eyes and pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek, "If anything she'd probably want to come drink with us..."

"Is she really partying and shit that much?"

"From what my sisters have told me, yeah..." I groaned.

"Well... I'm sure Lana would watch Shaun." Julia said with a shrug.

"Is she still here?"

"Yeah, she's in with your dad."

Nodding, I gave Julia a quick pat on the shoulder before turning on my heel to head to the room my dad was in.

"Hey!" Julia called out. I spun around and faced her, "What happened to your hand?"

Fuck...

"I uh. I cut it.."

"Mhm...."

"You know me," I called out before turning back around and heading on my way.

Julia shook her head and headed down the hospital hall, "yeah, I do."

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Daryl and Sarah entered the room and like planned, Sarah went straight to the bed and started to blow Daryl while he smoked a cigarette and stared up at the dusty ceiling. Billy wasn't worried about Sarah questioning what was going to happen to Daryl. The girls who hung around guys like this knew better than to go running their mouths to the police, or they'd basically be buying themselves their own death sentence.

This was the perfect time to do this. The music playing throughout the house was so loud that this room may as well been sound proof.

Just when it was clearly that Daryl wanted more than the half ass excuse of a blowjob Sarah was giving him and sat up, Billy stepped out of the bathroom.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Daryl roared, throwing Sarah off of him, "What the fuck is this?!"

"Threesome," Billy stated coolly as he pulled out a hunting knife from his knife holder and stormed over towards Daryl.

In one quick, hard swing, Billy's knife collided with Daryl's erect Penis and sliced it right off. Sarah screamed as blood sprayed out of Daryl. Daryl howled in agony, collapsing forward onto the floor.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Billy hollered at Sarah, who immediately did as she was told.

Billy shoved his blood knife back into the holder before reaching around and pulling out his gun from the small of his back. He cocked it as he grabbed a pillow and knelt down beside Daryl who was scream crying.

"You know who I am?" He asked in a low tone.

Daryl choked out a "No!"

"You remember that pregnant girl you and your two fucking accomplices attacked?"

"Oh god...." Daryl cried, realizing who exactly it was that was crouched down beside him.

"That my woman, and that was my child." Billy added coldly, "You almost killed them, one of my boys and then you raped one of those girls."

"We were told to scare-"

Daryl's sentence was cut short by a pillow being pressed down over his head. Daryl's cries were muffled as Billy pressed the gun against the pillow. Billy's nostrils were flared and his breathing was heavy.

"Shouldn't have fucked with my family," Billy said before pulling the trigger.

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When I entered the room my dad was in, I instantly felt sick again. While he still looked the same as I remember, he looked tired and in pain. Lana immediately stopped what she was doing any pulled me into a huge hug. That's when the flood of tears that I've been holding back since I got here, finally came.

Lana frowned and pulled away from me "Amber..."

"Amber!" My dad exclaimed with a big smile, choosing not to acknowledge the fact that I was breaking down right in front of him.

"Are you dying?!" I shouted, tears pouring down my face. I hadn't realized what I had just asked until I watched Lana's mouth fall agape and my dad lick his lips and stare down at his hands.

"Amber!" Lana scolded, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Dad shot his head back up and smiled a familiar loving, warming smile of his, "Not today, I'm not."


	53. chapter 52

"What the fuck did you just shoot me with?!" Victim number two, Ryan grumbled hazily.

Billy wiped his hands on his jeans and reached around, pulling out his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Ryan stumbled backwards and slammed himself up against the wall as Billy placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, watching as Ryan slid down along the wall to the floor.

"Feel that coursing through your veins?" Billy asked in a muffled tone because of the cigarette between his lips. Billy pulled the cigarette out and exhaled a cloud of smoke upwards, "Good ol' rat poison."

Ryan began to sweat like he had just run a solid couple of miles without stopping to catch his breath. The veins in his forehead were noticeable and he appeared to be struggling to breathe. Billy pulled up a chair and twirled it around so that he was sitting on it backwards with his arms wrestling on the top of the back of the chair. Ryan's fingers tips and bottom lip were both turning a blueish colour.

"You broke my fuckin' stairs," Billy started, pausing to inhale another drag off of his smoke, "In case ya were wonderin' what the fuck is goin' on."

"B-B-Billy?"

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke, "B-B-Bingo"

Billy leaned his head back as he dug into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He exhaled slowly as he pulled out the photo of Amber that he had taken from Shane's wallet almost a year ago. His thumb caressed her face causing his stomach to knot. Sighing again, he clicked his jaw to the side as he put the photo back inside of his wallet and shoved it back into the pocket of his jeans.

It only took about ten minutes for Ryan's seizure to finally come to an end. Billy just sat there, chain smoking and staring off into the distance. It wasn't until he noticed that Ryan was actually dead that he finally got up and left the dingy apartment building.

The cool spring air sent chills up his spine and an eerie feeling crept up on him. He couldn't help but feel that he was living on borrowed time. What was going on? So many people "close" to him have died in less than a year and yet here he was, still somehow doing what he usually does. He's a killer... he knows it, and he accepts it. It's Amber that he's afraid of-- she may think she can handle this lifestyle, but can she really? especially when the kid comes? Billy may have practically raised Joe growing up, but could he raise his own child not to be a total fuck up like himself?

Once he was in his car he opened his phone and double checked the last address from the text that Korina had sent him earlier. Billy's jaw twitched from side to side telling him that it was time for another line. Normally, Billy doesn't fuck with drugs - especially cocaine - as it's been a huge problem in his life from the time he was old enough -barely - to sell drugs for his father, Bones. But, that being said, given the circumstances and the fact that he's still healing from being shot in the stomach, he needed to be high as a fucking kite to numb any pain that he might endure tonight. Which he definitely did when he busted into Ryan's apartment and physically fought with Ryan to get him down long enough to inject him with the tainted heroin needle.

Billy started his car and leaned back in his seat, staring up at the roof of his car. His tongue clicked against the back of his front teeth, his mouth was numb but not numb enough. He sniffled hard and sat back up straight, digging into his pocket and pulling out a baggy of cocaine. He had already snorted a gram to himself but what really was another half to him?

Sighing, he opened his glove box and pulled out a CD case that had belonged to Joe. Billy flipped it over and frowned at the "Joe's Disturbed CD" scribbled across the case in jiffy marker. It was Joe's favourite band and a band that Billy had introduced to Joe back in 2000. Billy opened the case and popped the CD into the cd slot. "Voices" began to pump out through his car speakers. Billy closed his eyes for a moment and reminisced about all those times Joe would be high or drunk in the passenger seat of his car, blasting this song and obnoxiously singing along.

A rare smile crept across Billy's face as he closed the now empty CD case and tapped out a bump of cocaine on the case. Billy carefully sat the case down on his dash before pulling out his wallet and grabbing a random bank card of his. He then proceeded to cut and chop four thick "Hollywood" style lines on the case. He held the case up to his face and proceeded to snort the lines up his nose as if he was some kind of vacuum cleaner.

When he was done, he tossed the empty CD case down onto his passenger seat and licked the coke resign off of his debit card that he used to cut the lines. Billy put the card back into his wallet and held himself up to the side as he shoved the wallet back into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Two down, one more to go," Billy said out-loud as he placed a cigarette between his lips and rolled his window down, tossing the empty cocaine baggy out onto the road.

Image

"You sure you're okay with watching Shaun?" I repeated to both my mom and dad.

Dad rolled his eyes, "You're being paranoid, we did raise you guys... remember?"

"If I didn't have to worry about you, I'd be going with Amber and the girls," Mom added, playfully nudging my dad in the arm.

"You don't," He quipped, referring to the fact that she filed for divorce.

An awkward silence surrounded the house. My sisters, Sasha and Lana (pronounced: Lawn-nuh) glanced down at the floor while Julia and Christy stared at me and both winced from the awkwardness of the situation. I frowned and chose to ignore the tension between my mother and father. I walked over to Shaun who was in his baby swing.

"You gonna be good for grandpa and grandma?" I asked Shaun who stared up at me with a glow in his big blue eyes.

"Of course, he is, isn't that right grandbaby?" Dad asked, unbuckling Shaun from his baby swing and carefully scooping him up in his arms.

"Why don't you tell him one of those stories you'd tell us when we were kids?" Lana suggested, plopping down on the couch and smiling at me.

"I don't remember any,"

Sasha and Lana both rolled their eyes, "Sure you do!"

Dad shrugged and started to tell George Thorogood's song "One bourbon, one scotch, one beer".

"Dad!" All three of us exclaimed.

"What?!" Dad pretended to be appalled.

"Tell him about that time you and mom took the three of us girls and Dean to the corn maze and Sasha wandered off and we all had to find her! Mom was crying and you found Sasha!" Lana exclaimed.

"I wish he was here..." I stated, meaning Dean, my brother who's deployed.

"Me too..." Mom sighed,

"Me too..." Julia giggled, she always had a crush on him.

Rolling my eyes, I walked over to where Julia and Christy were standing and sighed, "Are we getting ready here or at Julia's?"

"My place is out..." Julia trailed off awkwardly, glancing over at Christy and then at Lana who both nodded almost like they were urging her to spill whatever it was she had to say, "I uh, finally have enough money saved that I can leave my parent's place.... start my own life... get my own place"

"So?"

"So... I'm thinking about transferring to Boston... I'll be close to you guys and starting new... like you both did" Julia replied with a shrug.

"Uh...."

"Yeah... right? Exactly what I said" Christy mumbled.

"Aren't you excited, Amber? After all, Julia is like family to you..." My sister Lana asked suspiciously, folding her arms across her chest.

I nodded and glanced over at my Dad who was busy feeding Shaun. My sisters were both staring at me with suspicious looks on their faces, wondering why I wasn't jumping with joy. Normally, I would be... but Julia? of all people? hot tempered, a fucking nurse to be... coming into mine and Christy's fucked up life in Boston? A recipe for disaster... that or she never speaks to Christy or I again once she sees what kind of shit we're into.

"Of course, I'm fucking excited," I snapped at Lana who's jaw instantly fell agape at my reaction, "I'm just... just so ecstatic that I'm at a loss for words."

"Could have fooled me..." Lana mumbled.

Julia popped her hip and stared at me with wide eyes, "Could have fooled me too."

I sighed, "Sorry, alright? Let's just... get ready here tonight, I guess."

"You're not even going to ask when I'm coming to Boston?" Julia scoffed.

Christy rolled her eyes becoming annoyed at everyone hounding me because of my reaction. Christy understands why I'm not exactly thrilled about another one of my best friends being pulled into the lifestyle I have in Boston.

"When are you coming to Boston?" Christy asked, clicking her jaw to the side in annoyance.

"Well, glad you asked. I'm going to be asking for a transfer on Monday, so hopefully in the next month or so." Julia answered with a smile.

"Sucks you'll be leaving, that means I'll get stuck with those other bitches now." Dad jumped in, "You're the only decent nurse in that God forsaken place."

"I'll be there to look after you Dad, and I'll make sure no nurses are pulling any shit," Lana assured him.

"Hey now!" Julia started, turning to look back at my father, "If you keep on your meds and start listening to us, you won't have to ever go back to that place."

"I wish..." Sasha whispered.

Dad chose to ignore Sasha's comment and took Shaun out of the room, probably to visit Lana's daughter, my niece. Sasha frowned and the rest of us sighed. Unless he's Clark Kent or can somehow cure himself of all cancer that's spread throughout his body... Julia's wrong. We know that and she knows that - and he knows - that we know. Still, the gesture was nice.

"Well..." I sighed, "I guess the four of us should get ready..."

"Four?" Sasha repeated, cocking an eyebrow, "There's five us standing in this room."

"And only four of us are legal drinking age."

"Like that has ever stopped any of you"

"Tough luck, kiddo." Christy shrugged.

"Maybe for you, I know how to play the bouncers in this town," Sasha retorted with a smirk.

"Oh God..." Both Lana and I groaned.

"Fake I.D, bitches" Sasha announced, flashing a fake ID.

"How the fuck did you get that?" Both Lana and I questioned.

"Sweet, so we're fuckin' babysitting?" Christy grumbled.

"Come on, she looks old enough and that fake I.D needs to be worth it, no?" Julia asked, snatching the ID out of Sasha's hand.

"I honestly can't believe that just came out of your mouth," I hissed at Julia.

"Jesus Christ, you pop out a kid and now your scrawny white ass suddenly is in full mom mode," Julia chuckled in disbelief, causing me to frown.

"You sound like Lana, Amber.... Jesus" Sasha groaned.

I sighed in defeat, "No-"

"Yeah you do." They all agreed.

"Christy, could I talk to you?" I asked flashing her a fake grin.

Christy smirked, "Nah"

Lana, Sasha, and Julia all laughed at Christy's remark. I narrowed my eyes into a cold hard glare at Christy. I don't think she realizes just how serious this "move" Julia is making is going to be. What? Does Christy just think Julia is gonna work in Boston and only visit us when it's convenient for Christy and I? Fuck no! Knowing her ass she will want to be close to us, and hanging out with us as much as she can. How the fuck can Christy not be panicking about this? We're either going to lose our best friend or convince her to accept the fucked up yet functional life we have in Boston. Not only that, Christy was just shot less than two months ago! Megan was raped that night! Jack was literally gunned down and is wheelchair bound for God only knows how long - if he even ever gets the chance to walk again - and I was almost killed, not to mention the attack jump started my labor and Shaun was born prematurely via C-section.

How the fuck is she not seeing where I'm getting at with this?

Christy smirked and pushed herself up from against the wall, slowly striding over to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "Come on mom, chill... let's go get ready"

Image

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? No dogs allowed, not get the fuck out of here!" The bouncer barked at Billy, shaking his head as he glanced down at one of Bones' pitbull's that protect the shop.

Billy - who had his hood up - pulled it down and straightened out his posture, staring right at the bouncer. The bouncer's eyes squinted as he stared at Billy's tribal tattoo markings along his neck. The bouncer gulped and unfolded his arms.

"D-Darley?"

"We gonna have a problem?" Billy asked coldly.

The bouncer shook his head, "The dog...man..."

"Then fuckin' watch him," Billy hissed, handing the bouncer the leash, "I'll only be a few."

"Come on-"

"Keep an eye on him and I might reconsider letting Jake here rip your fat ass to shreds," Billy said in a low warning tone while the bouncer glanced down at Jake who growled.

Billy left the bouncer standing there speechless and made his way inside. "Blue Monday" by New Order echoed throughout the club amongst the sounds of glasses clanking, people talking, people cheering and screaming at the strippers. The run down strip club was somehow packed full, regardless of its slummy interior. In fact, it was so crowded that Billy literally had to push his way through crowds of drunk people. Men and women sat on perv row yelling obnoxious things at the dancers while throwing singles once in awhile. That was the type of people who sat on perv row at this dive, wanna be "Balla's" that pissed their paychecks away on half grams and cheap drinks at the dive bars and clubs that Boston has to offer.

As Billy headed towards the crowded bar, a dancer with blue hair stopped to shake her ass a little bit for the men sitting at the stage, all while staring directly at Billy.

Billy stopped dead in his tracks and smirked at the stripper who had her eyes on him. She twirled around the pole one last time before sliding down to her knees and crawling across the stage to end where Billy was standing.

The men sitting at the stage whistled and yelled at the stripper as she held her gaze with Billy and smirked, "Want a private dance?"

"Ya still on stage," he called back.

"My show's almost over," she replied with a wink.

Billy smirked and reached around behind him, pulling out his wallet. There was a small wad of cash inside, mostly 5's and 10's from one of Billy's boys' sales earlier today. They had carelessly left it on top of Bones - now Billy's - desk. Though it was mostly 5's and 10's, it totaled up to at least three hundred dollars. Billy couldn't imagine how frantic his boys are going to be tomorrow morning when they go to the shop and see that they're short some of the money due to the money being gone AND Billy's car being gone.

"Not tonight, baby," Billy replied, pausing to pull out around $120 worth of 5's and 10's and throwing it down onto the stage near the strippers knees, "Let's don't and say we did."

With that, he turned and left the stripper staring down at the tip he had literally just thrown at her, and made his way towards the crowded bar. The bartenders had sweat beads on their foreheads and they were running around hurrying to make drinks for the impatient waitresses who clearly wanted to be anywhere but here, serving drunk obnoxious people.

While waiting in line to get a drink, Billy used this time to scope out the crowded side tables. If anything, knowing of guys like Clayton and given how old the fucker is, Billy knew he'd have to be at some corner table drinking with other sketchy looking fucking people and drinking cheap liquor and puffing away of cheap cigars. Billy clicked his jaw to the side when he couldn't guess who Clayton might be.

"What can I get ya?" A thin waitress stopped and asked Billy.

"Get me a Budweiser," He replied. "Hey, ya know a Clayton Singer?"

The waitress pursed her lips in deep thought, "Clayton huh?... Oh, yeah! You mean that creep sitting alone over there in the cut off jean jacket? Yeah, I know him all too well. I usually have to end up kicking him out for a bar fight that he tends to start regularly"

"Anyway, that'll be $6.50" She huffed. Billy nodded and tossed a ten down onto her tray. "I'll be back with your change,"

Billy's cell phone started to vibrate in his pocket, "Keep it,"

The waitress left and Billy pulled his personal phone out of his pocket. It was nice being able to just carry one phone instead of two. When he use to sell for his dad, he'd have to carry a shitty Motorola phone to use for his drug deals.

Kori

Billy slid his finger across the screen and held the phone up to his ear, using his free index to plug his other ear, attempting to drown out the sound, "Miss me?"

He lips curled up into a smirk as Kori scoffed on the other end, "Is it done?"

"Almost"

"Where are you?! Why is it so loud?"

"I went to the third place ya told me, wasn't there. Neighbor hollered and said I'd find him at a titty bar called the Glass Slipper"

"Near Quincy? Billy, if you even so much as pull a gun in there, you're fucked. The owner is married to a cop. You'll be in jail so fast, your head will spin."

Billy cursed silently and tightened his jaw as he stared at Clayton trying to make up a plan B.

"Billy?"

"Yeah"

"Whatever you do, don't do it in there."

"I got a plan," Billy assured her.

She sighed an aggravated sigh, "Just get it done."

"Working on it-"

*click*

Billy shoved his phone back in his pocket and tilted his head from side to side, stretching his neck muscles out. He cracked each individual knuckle with his thumb as he impatiently waited for his beer to come. His gun was still tucked in the waistband of his jeans, but he knew he couldn't use it in here.

Just by looking at Clayton, Billy knew that his plan b wasn't going to be easy. Clayton was big boned, stocky, stood about an inch taller than Billy and Billy was 6 foot 2 himself.

However, be that as it may, this wasn't Billy's first rodeo... And he definitely was not afraid.

"Sorry for the wait, doll! Here's your beer!"

Billy glanced around briefly before grabbing his beer from the waitresses tray by the neck of the bottle, not caring that some beer had spilled all over his clenched fist.

Billy strode towards Clayton who was about to take a sip of his own beer before he paused to make a confused face at the guy storming towards him. Just as Clayton noticed Billy's trademark tribal tattoo on his neck. Billy turned the bottle to the side and tightened his grip around the neck of the bottle. Clayton's eyes widened as he realized that the guy under the blonde head of hair was in fact, Billy Darley.

Before Clayton could do anything, Billy swung his arm and with a flick of his wrist the bottle went flying and hit Clayton square in the face, shattering everywhere as it hit the stage causing the dancers to scream in shock.

Any average sized person would have gotten knocked out from the impact, but not someone the size as Clayton.

Clayton's chair skidded across the floor as he stood up and swung at Billy, who ducked and retaliated by punching Clayton square in the face. Clayton was told the story about what happened the night that Billy and Charlie almost killed one another in the abandoned warehouse, so Clayton used Billy's healing bullet wound in his stomach as an advantage.

Clayton tried to block Billy's punches all while pulling his free arm back and driving his fist right into Billy's stomach. Billy clamped his eyes shut and winced, not even the copious amount of cocaine that he snorted earlier numbed the pains shooting in his stomach right now.

Before Billy had the chance to start throwing punches at Clayton again, Clayton made a break for it and three bouncers came running and grabbed Billy, "YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!"

Billy gritted his teeth and ripped himself from the bouncers' grip, "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

Billy ran out of the club and before he had he chance to grab Jake's leash from the doorman/bouncer, Jake being the instinctive dog he was, broke free from his collar and began running after Clayton who was bolting down the street like a bat out of hell.

Clayton's heart raced and panted frantically as he glanced back over his shoulder to see a solid muscled pit bull charging after him. Without any thought, he turned and ran down the first alleyway he could, jumping on a garbage can and then leaping over a chain link fence.

"GET HIM," Billy commanded, running after Jake who had already leaped the fence after Clayton.

Billy hopped over the fence with ease and continued to follow Clayton and Jake along the train tracks under the bridge. Clayton got played out sooner than he had hoped and was no match for Jake, who jumped up and tackled Clayton to the ground, clamping his teeth down on Clayton's forearm and locking it's jaw.

Billy caught up and swallowed a hard lump in his throat as he watched Clayton struggle to break free from Jake. Billy's chest heaved in and out as he caught his breath.

"Jake, let em go" Billy commanded in a stern voice, pulling his gun out from his waistband. Jake immediately released Clayton and barked.

"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN WALKING, MOTHER FUCKER!" Clayton hollered, cradling his now fractured and bloody forearm.

Jake barked again at the sound of Billy's gun being fired. Clayton's hollering stopped as the bullet pierced him right in the forehead.

"Shut the fuck up, ya talk too fuckin' much" Billy hissed at Clayton's dead body. Billy placed his gun back in the waistband of his jeans before he patted Jake on top of the head, scratching his ears, "Ya listen better to me now than ya did when Bones was still alive."

Once Billy caught his breath, he pulled out his cigarettes and placed one between his lips. He lit the end as he dialed a number on his phone and held it up to his ear.

"Is it done?" Kori asked.

"Yeah"

She sighed in relief, "Good... You alright?"

"I need a favor... Since ya owe one."

"And what would that be?" She hissed in annoyance.

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke up towards the air before glancing back down at Clayton's lifeless body, "I need to get rid of a 280-pound problem."

Kori if anything, was like one of the boys, she knew how this shit went, knew how everything was done. She knew exactly what Billy was referring to.

"I'll send Charlie... Text me where it is that you are."


	54. chapter 53

"Yo! Meg! Wait up!" Bodie called from Jamie's car. Megan spun around and waited for Bodie and Jamie to catch up, "Ya here early."

"Jack had physiotherapy this morning, figured I'd open the shop early and do the payroll. The mechanics are coming in early..." Megan replied dully, glancing at Chop who was peeing against some rust bucket.

"When's Amber suppose to be back?" Jamie asked in a muffled tone from lighting the cigarette between his lips.

Megan shrugged, "Hopefully soon. I could use some girl-"

"Who the fuck left the bay door open!"

Bodie and Jamie both appeared to be taken back from Megan's outburst. Megan whistled for Chop to follow and began to stomp towards the bay door when Bodie grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Megan's jaw dropped at the sight of Jamie and Bodie's guns drawn.

Bodie shook his head, "I was the last one here... I made sure that was locked. Stay here."

"Let's go," Jamie whispered at Bodie.

Chop began to growl as Jamie and Bodie slowly made their way inside the open bay door.

"Billy's fuckin' car is gone!" Jamie exclaimed in a hushed whisper, cocking his gun.

They both made it about 5 steps inside of the shop when they froze in their tracks.

"WHo the fuck are you?!" Jamie shouted at the unfamiliar man smoking and sitting at Bones' desk with his feet up.

"You two stupid mother fuckers gonna put the guns down before customers show up?" Billy hissed.

Chop immediately charged towards Billy just at the sound of his voice. Bodie and Jamie lowered their guns and Megan's mouth fell agape.

"Billy?" They all asked carefully.

"The fuck else would it be?"

"I fuckin' knew it!" Bodie exclaimed, "My sister came by saying none of the bodies in that fire was yo ass!"

"Where the fuck you been, Billy?!" Jamie asked, walking over to Billy and patting him on the shoulder.

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke, "Had some shit to take care of"

"Billy..." Megan started slowly, running her fingers through her hair, "I-I can't believe this."

"Where's Jack?" Billy asked.

"Ya hear?" Bodie cut in. Billy and Megan turned their attention over to a nervous Bodie, "Some shit went down at your house man... We fixed it the best-"

"I dealt with the problem." Billy stated flatly, cutting Bodie off.

"Y-you did?" Megan struggled to ask while holding back tears.

Billy stood up and walked over to her. Jamie and Bodie watched in awe as their once - still - ruthless leader pulled Megan into a comforting embrace. Megan lost the battle trying to hold back her tears, allowing them to flow freely down her face as she sobbed against Billy's chest. Billy, being Billy, didn't know how to react, so he just stood there and held her. Megan pulled back and sniffled a few times before wiping her tears and placing both of her hands on each side of Billy's neck. He froze at her touch and watched as she stood on her tip toes and softly kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you," She smiled, her blue eyes glistened as she spoke.

"You're my boy's woman, I take care of this shit," Billy assured her. "How's he doin'?"

"He's gettin' there..." Megan replied with a weak smile.

"What about my woman? She stayin' with you?" Billy asked, knowing that Amber wouldn't want to be in a house that was invaded, all alone.

"Billy... Who told you about what happened at your place?" Megan asked.

"The same fucker that hired em,"

Bodie and Jamie became tense. Megan cocked an eyebrow and stared at Billy in confusion. Bodie scratched the side of his neck before walking over to Billy and standing next to him.

"You gonna tell me what the fuck it is ya got on your mind? Or is it gonna be like when ya fuckin' told me someone stuck Joe?!" Billy shouted at Bodie.

"Did that same mother fucker tell yo ass what the fuck happened to ya girl, dawg?" Bodie hissed, becoming hostile.

Billy's jaw tightened and in Bodie and Jamie's eyes, Billy looked the same right now as he did when Bodie told him about Joe being dead. Megan became nervous as Bodie glanced over at her and then back at Billy, who was now fuming mad.

"Where the fuck... Is Amber?" Billy said slowly, trying to stay as calm as his Darley roots would allow him to be.

"She's back in Michigan with Christy, visiting her family. Her dad's cancer is getting worse..." Megan explained, taking the initiative to tell him.

Billy closed his eyes and sighed in relief, "When is she coming back?"

"We ain't sure, dawg. Her, Christy and the kid left the day after getting out of the hospital." Bodie answered, shrugging.

"What?" Billy hissed.

"You really don't know?" Jamie asked, finally speaking.

"What the fuck are you cocksuckers hiding from me?!" Billy roared.

"While yo ass was playing real life Cowboys and Indians with ya fuckin' childhood buddy, that same mother fucker sent home invaders into your house-"

"I know that! Ya fuckin' idiot! I wiped all three of em out!" Billy shouted back, not caring if Megan heard him say that or not.

"Everything that occurred that night... Jump started her labor. The doctors had no choice but to do an emergency C-section" Megan blurted out.

Billy slowly turned his head over to Megan. His nostrils were flared, his jaw was clenched and it didn't take a genius to realize that his blood was probably boiling to the point where he was going to explode at any given moment.

"What happened to my kid?" Billy asked flatly, so low that they could barely catch what he had just asked.

"He's okay... Shaun's okay. He was in the hospital for quite a few weeks... But he's okay now." Megan explained.

Billy spun around and pulled his right arm back and slammed his fist into a nearby locker, denting the locker and busting open the skin on his knuckles. Chop barked at Billy's sudden rage outburst.

Bodie shrugged, not really knowing what else to say, "Sorry, dawg. We thought you was dead."

Much like when he had found out about Joe, Billy didn't say anything more. Instead, he just left the shop, got in his car and sped off, sending rocks flying.

________

"A toast, to the greatest people alive!" I announced, raising my beer up high. "Without you three ladies, I wouldn't be the pain in the ass I am today!"

"I can drink to that, you sarcastic ass bitch!" Julia replied clinking her beer bottle against mine.

Sasha and Christy both looked at each other and shrugged, raising their glasses up as well, "Cheers!"

"Oh my God!" Sasha gasped as The Ying Yang Twin's "Whistle while you twerk" started to play throughout the club we were at. "I love this song!"

"I know this song..." Julia mumbled.

"This was our fuckin' jam in high school!" Christy reminded me.

Julia took a swig of her beer and wiped her mouth with her arm before setting down her beer bottle and spinning in her seat to look at Sasha, "Thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

Sasha shrugged, "Feel like dancing with me?"

Julia smirked, "Do you even have to ask?"

Julia and Sasha left the table and I watched as they made their way to the dance floor, waving at them when they made eye contact with me. Sighing, I looked over at Christy and rested my chin on my hands. Christy closed her eyes and sighed, knowing that I was looking at her for a reason. Julia moving to Boston being the reason.

"She put me on the spot," She said clicking her jaw.

I cleared my throat, "You sure about that?"

Christy scoffed, "Yes Amber. I'm positive."

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked suspiciously.

Christy rolled her eyes, "It's Julia, does she really need a reason?"

I exhaled a shaky breath, "She's going to fuckin' hate us."

"Not at all. If anything she will just rat us out to the 5-0" Christy smirked, "And I don't know about you but this ass is too precious to spend time in prison..."

"How are you making jokes about this?" I exclaimed.

Christy cocked an eyebrow at me, "Does that surprise you or something? I was just shot less than two fuckin' months ago. Not to mention I lost Joe AND Heco in a span of what? a few months. If I didn't laugh... I'd fuckin' cry"

"Speaking of which..." I started quietly.

"Billy?" Christy asked dully, clearly uncomfortable with the fact that I'm finally bringing him up.

A lump formed in my throat as she mentioned his name. I nodded and shifted my eyes over to the center of the crowded dance floor where Julia and my sister were bumping and grinding. Christy playfully poked me in the cheek and giggled a little when I shot my head back in her direction and glared at her in annoyance.

"What?" I hissed.

"What about Billy?" She asked narrowing her eyes in expectancy.

I shrugged, "I just... I miss him you know?"

"Do you wanna talk about this?" Christy asked with a frown.

"I just... I can't believe this happened. We're going home in two days and it's gonna be so surreal..."

"Have you read that letter he left you earlier that...night?"

"I can't..." I admitted, staring down at my empty beer.

"Look, I know I'm an asshole that... you know... has a hard time with feelings and shit...but I'm here for you just as much as you are for me," Christy assured me. "It's not easy... believe me, I still wake up some mornings and swear Joe is beside me... but... fuck, it'll be okay, alright?"

"You've been through a fuck of a lot more than I have lately.... So, for an asshole, you're the toughest, yet sweetest asshole I know" I replied with a smirk.

"Come to think of it..." Christy trailed off leaning to her right so she could grab her cellphone, "Megan texted me saying there's some shit she has to tell me that you can't know about"

"So?" I asked.

"So..."

"So?" I asked again, this time with a harsher tone.

"You know what I'm getting at." She replied dully.

"How the fuck would I know?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Come on, mom. Not even the slightest bit curious about what Meg and I could possibly be gossiping about?"

I shrugged, "Not even the slightest."

"Jesus, you pop a kid out and suddenly you're as lame as a nun" Christy giggled.

I titled my head and glared at Christy, raising my middle finger at her. Christy smirked and grabbed my wrist and led me away from the table over to the dance floor. We pushed our way through the crowds of people over to where Sasha and Julia were dancing. Naturally, I started to dance to the beat of the music and laughing with my girls - not caring that I wasn't even slightly buzzed while the rest of them clearly were. Loud bass vibrated the dance floor while I swung my hips and danced. I needed this. I'm going to dance and eventually get fuckin' wasted at some point tonight.

Because I need to blur out the pain of never seeing Billy again, somehow... even if it's just for tonight.

___________________________________

Meanwhile, Billy sat at a run down apartment that desperately could use a new interior paint job or something - a good cleaning. It smelled like cheap perfume and cigarettes, clothes and 6" heels were thrown around and blonde hair extensions were tossed wherever. An overflowing ashtray and Cocaine was cut into perfect thick rails on top of the glass coffee table in front of Billy.

Billy didn't seem to care though, as he was too high and busy staring up at the ceiling. His left arm was behind his head on the couch while his right hand was gripping a fistful of Jennifer's blonde hair while her head bobbed up and down.

When she was done and gasping for air, she stared up at Billy as she began to open a condom and put it down on his length. Billy snorted and pulled her up to her feet by her hair. She bit her bottom lip in anticipation as Billy stared her in the eyes. She leaned in to kiss him, but he moved his face away and managed to push her down on her knees on the couch.

He hiked her skirt up and pushed her head down so that her ass was up in the air. She let out a moan as Billy ran one of his hands over her bare breasts, groping one of them roughly. His other hand pulled her g-string to the side and she moaned loudly at his touch as he did so.

Without warning, he placed his right hand on her shoulder and used his free hand to slam inside of her as hard as he could. She cried out in both agony and pleasure as Billy continued to slam in and out of her as hard as he could. He was fucking out his anger but Jennifer didn't seem to notice. But, even if she did, she wouldn't care. She was loving this too much. Jennifer's jaw fell agape, making her cries and screams loud enough that the whole apartment complex could probably hear her. He gritted his teeth as he finished, slamming into her one last time.

Jennifer's chest heaved in and out as she panted, staring back at Billy who had just tossed the used condom carelessly onto her messy floor and was now zipping up his jeans. Jennifer pulled her brows together in confusion as she watched as Billy gathered up his keys and wallet from the coffee table. Her mouth moved like a goldfish as she tried to think of something to say to convince him to stay a little longer.

"You wanna do some more lines?" She asked, standing up and jumping out in front of him, blocking him from going anywhere.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, "Think of it is payment"

Jennifer knew he was referring to the leftover cocaine that he had brought over earlier. He gave her a lousy nod for a "goodbye" before leaving her standing there like an idiot while leaving her apartment.

___________________________________

"Let it out... let it out..." I soothed Christy while rubbing her back.

Christy continued to dry heave in the toilet. Holding Christy's hair while she puked in the bathroom at the biggest club I've ever been to in my life, wasn't exactly how I pictured this night to go. We had only started drinking hard liquor less than 45 minutes ago and Christy was already so drunk from taking copious amounts of shots, that she was already face down in a toilet. Julia and my sister were pacing their drinking and were still out on the dance floor, drinking and having a good time. Me being the compassionate one... I've been sitting in a crowded bathroom with Christy.

"Oh my God..." Bria groaned as she sat up and wiped her lips with her hands.

I pulled at the toilet paper roll, handing Christy some toilet paper to wipe her face off and wipe off any smudged makeup.

"Stay here... I'll go find Julia and Sasha, and we will head home," I sighed standing up.

"No!" Christy shouted, spitting leftover puke out of her mouth making me frown in disgust. "I've puked... I'm fine now. I'm going to eat something and then I'll just stick to fruity drinks...no more tequila."

"Or you could just not drink...and just dance?" I suggested cynically.

"Hmm... this is true" Christy bobbed her ahead agreeing.

Placing my purse on top of the of the toilet paper dispenser, I began to dig through searching for my makeup wipes and a small bottle of mouthwash that I always carried with me. Christy stared up at me weirdly as I handed her a makeup wipe and the travel size bottle of mouthwash. She took them and started to chuckle which turned into her busting out laughing making me become annoyed as I just wanted her to clean herself up so we could actually go enjoy the club we were at.

"You're so fucking weird...who carries shit like this in their purse when they go clubbing?!" Christy snorted.

"People that babysit their friends who get completely shit faced..." I snapped giving her a fake smile.

Christy glared at me before pushing herself up off of the bathroom floor and holding the makeup wipe and mouthwash up at me, "Well... thanks, Mom"

"Can you fuckin' stop with that..."

"Fine, queenie..."

"Queenie?"

"Well sure, you're runnin' the show now... you're Billy without a dick."

I frowned and followed Christy out of the bathroom, "No I'm not..."

"Oh..oh... is that what I think it is that just started playing?" Christy ignored me and asked referring to Eminem's 'shake that ass for me' playing throughout the club, "This song is my jam! Let's go!"

She squealed in excitement, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me out of the bathroom. The bass vibrated the dance floor, making me smile in excitement. Julia was just walking up towards us, holding two drinks in her hands. Christy smirked at Julia, who nodded in agreement before looking at me and holding the two drinks out at me. Sasha suddenly appeared next to Julia and smirked.

"Drink these now. As fast as you can." Julia instructed.

I raised an eyebrow, "Why?".

"Because you're lame. You've had one shot with us. Just chug these back," Julia replied shortly.

"What is it?" I asked looking at the drinks suspiciously.

"It's just double rye and coke. Hurry, chug it back so we can go dance."

I sighed loudly, grabbing one of the glasses and placing the rim of the glass to my lips. I held my nose as I chugged back the drink, following with the other drink. Sasha and Julia snickered as I quivered from chugging the drinks back so fast.

"Let's go dance!" Christy yelled over the music.

Once we were out on the floor, grinding up against each other and dancing, moving our hips to the beat. Julia had taken off for a few minutes, coming back with a round of shots. I sighed knowing that they weren't for her or Sasha, they were for me and Christy. Reluctantly, I threw the shots back and gagged a little at the burning taste of whiskey going down my throat. Julia and Sasha laughed at me before dragging me back to dance.

Eventually, I started to feel that anticipated buzzed feeling. My plan to keep Billy off of my mind for even just a few hours tonight was slowly working. I was now the buzzed girl who somehow ended up dancing on speakers while my friends and sister drank themselves silly.

"Amber! Get down!" Julia screamed from the dance floor.

"No!" I refused as I continued to dance on the speakers along with a group of random people.

"We're going to get kicked out!" Sasha hollered over the music.

"Fuck it!" Christy yelled, answering for me as she climbed up on the speakers next to me.

Christy danced beside me while the crowd cheered at us. Normally... I'd be the one in the crowd trying to get Christy, Sasha and hell, even Julia down. But not tonight... tonight the tables were turned.

Christy and I both noticed the bouncers coming through the crowd over right toward the both of us. We busted out laughing as the bald-headed bouncer pointed at Christy, the group of people on the speakers with us, and myself.. motioning for us to get down.

"Fuck the police!" Christy shouted as a group of bouncers ripped us all down off of the speakers.

Sure enough, we got kicked out...

_____________

My eyes fluttered openly and the room spun causing me to groan. Slowly, I sat myself up on my elbows and groaned as my head pounded. I turned and looked at my old hello kitty alarm clock that my mom had got me for Christmas one year when I was like seven years old. The clock read 6:30, and regardless of how late we all stayed out last night and how hungover I am.... Shaun will be away soon if he already isn't, and it's not my parents job to take care of my son just so I can go out and get drunk and sleep all day.

Sighing, I sat up in bed and kicked my legs over the edge, running my toes over the fluffy pink carpet on the floor. I suddenly felt stupid for believing that my parents had actually turned my room into something else. God, I was so blinded by Shane's lies that he'd feed me trying to make me despise my parents and stay with him. Sure, my parents were strict - mainly my dad - but he always provided for us, and regardless of any fights this family would have... We'd somehow all manage to function. Now my fathers dying and I've spent the past couple of years hating him.

I'm a fucking fuck up.

The pressure in my head as I stood up was nearly unbearable. I could see myself in my full length me as I staggered like a zombie over to my bedroom door. My makeup was smeared, my hair was a mess and I was still in the clothes that I had been wearing last night. Needless to say, I felt grossed and smelled like stale cigarettes. My throat was both sore and dry from all the cigarettes I smoked last night. I was a hurting unit.

As soon as I opened my bedroom door and caught a whiff of breakfast being made down in the kitchen, I instantly regretted it. My stomach churned and vomit made its way up my sore throat. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I bolted for the bathroom, nearly crying from how bad my head was pounding as I ran. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet just in time as I could no longer hold back the vomit.

"Mornin'— ooh, shit, you didn't throw up on my bath rugs did you?" Mom asked as she appeared in the doorway with a glass of water and bottle of Tylenol in her hands.

Groaning, I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand before resting my elbows on the toilet seat and holding my head. Mom knelt down beside me and chuckled, handing me the glass of water while she opened the bottle of Tylenol and tapped out two extra strength tablets into the palm of my hand.

Nearly gagging, I threw back the pills and chugged the glass of water like it was going out of style. When I was done, I handed her back the glass and sat up straight so that I could get a proper look at her.

"Thanks,"

"You welcome. You're just hungover, you'll be okay."

"Is Shaun awake?"

Mom nodded, "He's downstairs in his swing having his morning nap. He's fed, burped and changed."

"Thank you, mom... Seriously." I breathed.

She gave me a quick pat on my bare shoulder, "Don't mention it, kiddo. You need a shower... You smell like a hobo's asshole"

I giggled and nudged her in the arm with one of my bony elbows.

"Have a shower and then come downstairs, I made breakfast. Sasha and Christy are still passed out, so you have first dibs on how much bacon you want."

"That's what made me throw up in the first place... The smell of it."

Mom pursed her lips, "Mmm... Pretty sure it was all that whiskey you drank last night, not my bacon."

Slowly, she stood back up and sighed, "Anyway, if you're not gonna eat breakfast... can you go see your dad outside... he wants to talk to you about Billy,"

Oh.... fuck me...I'm fucked....

I shot my head up, "Fuck..."

"What?" Mom asked as she stepped out into the hallway.

"Nothin'... yeah sure... I'll see ya in a few."

Fuck... I need to tell my dad the truth, and that I lied.


	55. chapter 54

What started off as a fairly sunny, decent morning, turned into a rainy, and cold spring morning. But, I didn't seem to care. The shower I had just had, made me feel 100 times better than I did when I first woke up and thrown up.

Lana - my older sister - had shown up when I was in the shower and we're now cuddling and hanging out with Shaun, giving me time to get dressed and head outside to speak to my dad.

A shiver ran down my spine as the cool breeze hit my skin, causing me to wince and pull my hoodie up over my head. Dad was in his garage, working on something or maybe just watching a rerun of the football game while he waited for me to show up. His garage/shop was a two minute walk from the house. While my parents' property wasn't large, it was spacious enough that my dad was able to have a large garden for growing food, a modular home - double wide trailer - that my older sister Lana, her man and their child lived in, my dads garage where his collector car was and was my dad's "man cave" and of course a few storage sheds throughout the property. It was home. It just took me a long time to realize that.

"Dad?" I called out as I stepped inside the garage. I could hear him coughing loudly, so loud that it was almost drowning out the music he had playing and the recorded football game on the tv, "Dad?!"

"Hey kiddo," He answered, clearing his throat. I watched as he stood up from being hunched over beside his car during his coughing fit, "How ya feelin'?"

"I'm fine, are you okay?" I pressed, slowly making my way toward him, glancing down at the pile of blood on the concrete floor. "Dad! What the fuck!"

"Amber, I'm fine. It's just this god damn shit they have me popping... Dries my throat to shit," he lied, walking over to the couch he had in here and plopping down, "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" I asked, joining him on the couch.

He nodded, "Good days and bad days baby, today being a bad day."

"Do you want me to text Lana?"

"Fuck no... I love that kid to death but she's driving me up the fuckin' wall. I'm alright, okay?"

I sighed in defeat, "Stubborn fuckin' man..."

"Sounds like you get your stubbornness from me," he laughed, leaning back into the couch and sighing.

"If I turn out to even be a fifth of the kind of person that you are, Dad, I'll be proud" I said, running my fingers through my wet hair.

"You're an amazing person, kiddo. Don't sell yourself short."

I let out a laugh of disbelief, "Far cry from amazing."

"That's what I'm talking about, always selling yourself short, kid"

I shrugged, "Believe me... I'm a bad person"

"What about Billy? What does he think?"

My throat became dry and I was at a loss for words. I knew dad wanted to talk about Billy, I just hadn't really gone over exactly what excuses and lies I was going to tell while on the subject of Billy. What exactly do I tell them? Oh you know, I fell in love with a drug dealing, gang leader. Then I got pregnant with him, and jump started Shaun's birth early due to a home invasion BECAUSE of Billy's lifestyle. Oh yeah, and he's...he's... He's dead.

He's dead.

Billy is dead.

I'm living in a fantasy-like mind frame, going out and having fun, like nothing is wrong. Billy is gone. He's dead, and he's never coming back.

"You still there?" Dad asked with a chuckle slightly shaking me bu the shoulder.

I nodded, slightly shaking my head as I awoke from my thoughts, "Y—Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Uh, Billy... Thinks I'm...a good person."

"Is Billy a good person?"

"He's... He's—"

"He's not a cop, is he?"

I sighed and looked away in shame, "No..."

"Why'd you lie?"

"Believe me, I have my reasons."

"Does he hit you?" Dad asked flatly. I shook my head 'no', "Does he take care of you?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"You love him and you're afraid of what we're gonna think," Dad stated rather than asked.

I turned my head and stared at my dad with a frown upon my face, "How'd you know?"

"Cause you look just like her,"

"Mom?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

He nodded slowly before chuckling faintly, "Your expression, everything. Especially now in this predicament. She was so God damn stubborn, tryin' to prove everyone wrong about me— her parents, her friends, hell, anyone."

"Really?" I asked with a small giggle.

He nodded once, "I guess I was the Billy in the situation. No good for her, had no business bein' with someone as good as her. But no, she had her mind set on me and nobody was gonna convince her otherwise."

"I guess... I guess she was wrong," he added, laughing awkwardly as he stared down at his copy of the divorce papers that her lawyer had served him.

"God, she's a fuckin' cunt!" I yelled, making dad stare at me with wide eyes at my outburst, "You're fucking sick! And what is she doing? Filing for divorce! She's a selfish fucking cunt!"

"Amber..."

"No!" I blubbered out, tears streaming down my face, "I'm nothing like that fucking cunt!"

Dad frowned and wrapped his arm around me, turning his head away from me so he could cough. He then comforted me during the next couple of minutes during my much needed cry/mental breakdown.

"Oh god, I'm fuckin' sorry..." I sobbed, sitting up straight and trying to wipe away my tears, "I'm a mess."

"I understand, kiddo. You're pissed... But, your mother didn't have it easy with me. She stuck through hard times. She stuck by me for everything, hell, she still is and we ain't even together. Give her some slack,"

"She couldn't wait, though...?"

He shrugged, "I'd rather go seein' her happy, rather than go seein' her faking her happiness. I love her, I always will. Just like I love you, your sisters and your brother, my grandkids..."

"I'm glad Shaun got to meet you..." I started, exhaling a shaky breath. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't around sooner,"

He sighed and leaned forward on the couch, giving me a stern pat on the knee, "You're here now, kiddo."

"I'm gonna come home, Dad. A lot more. I'm going to come back for Father's Day and you're going to make your infamous baked beans for Father's Day barbecue and Shaun is going to be a little bigger and everything is going to be like it use to be,"

He smiled warmly, "I'll be here, and if I'm not, well... Then I'm not."

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into the biggest hug I've given anybody in years, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, kid. With all of my heart."

We pulled apart and started to laugh at how emotional I am when I'm hungover and tired. We reminisced about my childhood and funny things my sisters and I would do to my brother and how he'd always retaliate and we'd all end up crying to dad about how mean Dean was being even though we started it 90% of the time. We watched some of the game, dad coughed up more blood. He showed me the new things he's done to his classic car and I told him all about Billy's 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback.

We opened the garage doors and watched the rain pour down in silence, just soaking up the moment. Finally, my hangover subsided and my stomach began to growl.

"I should go check on Shaun, Lana and mom have been in there with him all morning," I breathed.

Dad shrugged, "They would have said something if it was getting to be too much. He's a good baby, quiet, naps a lot. You're lucky... For now."

I smirked, "for now, huh?"

Dad chuckled, "Wait until he's fifteen and causing you grief."

"Well," I started, pursing my lips, "I'll just send him here and have you kick his ass into shape."

Dad laughed faintly, "Deal."

"I could go for some of moms breakfast that she made now, you comi—" My question silenced by how viciously my dad was coughing. The Kleenex he was coughing into turned red. "Dad...?"

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and grunted, "I'm fine... I'm fine"

"You don't look fine... Dad, I'm gonna get Lana or call Julia-"

Dad shook his head, "No, no. Amber... I'm fine. It's just a side effect."

I chewed on my bottom lip and sighed in defeat. Dad sighed loudly and leaned his head back against the couch, obviously aware that I was worried about him. I could see that he was in discomfort and pain, but I knew that having Julia or Lana here poking and prodding at him would only make it worse. It’s killing me inside watching him suffer like this. Why him? Why my father? Why was I too immature to see things in a different perspective a lot sooner? I could have been here for him a lot sooner than I was.

“Hey kid?”

“Yeah…?” I breathed an aggravated sigh.

“Can you pass me that photo album behind you on my toolbox, please?”

I nodded and glanced over at the toolbench, seeing the leather, thick photo album sitting there. Grabbing it, I walked over to the back of the couch and gently tossed it down on his lap. He smiled and opened it, brushing his thumb over the photo of Lana, Dean, and I all holding a newborn Sasha. A small smile formed on my face as I watched him light up with joy, flipping through the photo album and pulling out a family photo of all of us during family vacation one year.

“God, I looked horrible as a fake blonde.” I scoffed in disgust.

Dad chuckled, “You went through some crazy hair fazes,”

“That’s an understatement…” I laughed faintly.

“Hey, wanna grab me a plate of whatever your mom made when you go in?”

I shrugged, “Yeah, of course. You’re not gonna come in and eat?”

He shook his head, “Nah… I’m enjoying the peace and quiet out here. That and…”

“And?”

“And… I’m too tired to walk back, if you want the truth.” He laughed.

“Do you want me to go get the truck? I’ll drive it out here and-”

He held up his hand, silencing me, “It’s alright kiddo. Just, just take your time.”

I cocked an eyebrow, “Alright… well… I’ll be back in a few then,”

As I headed towards the door, I heard him coughing more. I sighed and reached for the doorknob, but before I could step outside, he was calling my name which caused me to stop dead in my tracks and turn slightly to stare back at him.

“I love you, Kid. Always have, always will.”

I smiled, “I know. I love you too, Dad. I’ll be right back, alright?”

“Give my grandson a kiss for me,”

“Okay…?”

“Remember what I said?”

“About not selling myself short?”

“Don’t do that anymore, you’re so much more than what you give yourself credit for, kid.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad. I’ll be back, kay? Jesus.” I giggled.

Image

Billy entered Shaun’s room and slowly glanced around, picturing a frantic Amber trying to pack and deal with a newborn, fragile baby, a day after being out of the NICU. He rested his hands on the crib railing and stared down at the teddy bear that once belonged to Joe. Billy slowly picked it up and sat down on the floor, resting his elbows on his knees as he smoked his cigarette carelessly in Shaun’s room and stared off into space at the teddy bear. He thought about Joe, thought about his mother, and thought about the last memory he had with her before she left and started a new life of her own.

"Billy..." Joe whimpered from his bed that was across the room.

Billy and Joe both shared a room as Bones house wasn't all that big.

"Go back to sleep, Joey." Billy instructed in a harsh whisper.

"Fuckin' bitch!" Bones hollered from outside the boy's bedroom. "You cheating, lying fucking whore!" Bones yelled at Billy's mother once more.

"I'm taking the boys and we're leaving!" She screamed back making Joe start to cry. Billy couldn't tell if it was in happiness or if it was because Joe was scared from all of the yelling.

"Where the fuck are ya gonna go with no fuckin' money?" Bones laughed hysterically.

"Anywhere but here!" She screamed.

Billy sighed deeply and sat up in bed, kicking his legs over the edge and digging into his nightstand. Billy pulled out a pack of cigarettes that he had stole from Bones and lit it, inhaling deeply as he listened to his parents screaming at each other. Billy had been smoking since he was eleven years old. It was out of a nervous habit he had. It calmed him down drastically. Billy stood up and opened the bedroom window, letting smoke escape the room.

"I should have you fucking arrested, you're a crook!" Billy's mom shouted again.

Boom.

Billy froze dead in his tracks at the sound of Bones's fist colliding with Billy's mothers jaw. Bones had only hit her three times ever. Bones was abusive in the mental department, not so much in the physical department but he definitely was capable of being both mentally and physically abusive. He's proven that countless times with his two sons.

"Mommy!" Joe, who was only 9 at the time, yelled as he jumped out of bed and ran out of the room.

"Joe! No!" Billy exclaimed, throwing the cigarette out the window and running after his baby brother that he was so very protective of.

"Mommy!" Joe cried again running over to his mom who was now laying on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

Bones grabbed Joe by the collar of his shirt and practically threw him out of the way. Billy's vision turned red as he watched Joe hit the wall roughly and begin to bawl.

"Don't touch my baby!" Billy's mom screamed in horror.

Bones ignored her and grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up to her feet, "You fuckin' leave, you ain't taking my boys. I'll make sure you're six feet under before that happens!" Bones threatened throwing her down to the floor again.

Something had snapped inside of Billy at that very moment. Billy charged down the hallway and straight at his father, roughly shoving Bones away from his mother. Because Bones was a fat man, he stumbled from losing his balance and hit the wall, falling down to his knees. Spit flew from Bones mouth as he gritted his teeth and stood back up. Billy's mom stared at Billy in horror while Joe cradled himself back and forth, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face.

Billy's fists curled into balls as Billy was still seeing nothing but red. Bones stomped over in front of Billy and pulled his fat arm back and slammed his huge fist down on Billy's face, making blood fly out of both Billy's nose and mouth. However, Billy still stood in the same spot. Bones could see the anger and hate in Billy's eyes, telling Bones that Billy would probably kill him if he had the chance, no doubt about it. Bones smirked and stared at Billy who was glaring up at him.

"You think you're tough do ya, Billy boy?" Bones asked snidely. "You ever think you're tough again and pull that shit again... I'll fuckin' kill ya." Bones threatened.

When Billy didn't answer, Bones chuckled to himself and put his hand on the back of Billy's neck, pulling his forehead towards his own. Just like Billy does with Joe now that they're older, it's a thing the Darley's have always done.

Bones let go of Billy and stomped away, "I'm going to the fuckin' peelers." He spat at Billy's mom.

Once Bones left and his car rumbled down the street, Billy walked over to Joe and held out his hand. Joe took Billy's hand without and question and stood up. Both the boys walked over to their mom and watched as she slowly stood up and wrapped her arms around both of her boys.

"Don't worry about mommy... this is mommy's fault." She said with a fake smile, trying to be convincing.

"How is this your fuckin' fault?" Billy hissed, finally speaking.

"Watch your mouth Billy." His mom scolded. Billy rolled his eyes and shook his head

"It's my fault... because after all, if you're gonna be dumb... you gotta be tough." She said before hugging her boys again. "Go back to sleep boys… I got some shit to deal with.”

Billy knew what that meant. But, instead of saying anything, he nodded slowly and led Joe back to their bedroom. Billy sighed loudly as he shut the bedroom door behind them and listened as his mother ran herself a bath and dug through the bathroom drawers. Billy knew she was about to shoot up some sort of drugs to numb the pain and try and forget that her life was completely messed up. Billy finally forced himself to fall asleep once he knew that Joe had drifted back to sleep.

"Billy... Billy wake up..." Joe said as he shook Billy.

"What?!" Billy hissed in annoyance, finally opening his eyes.

"Mom is crying loudly... I can't sleep with her crying so loud." Joe explained.

illy instantly stopped what he was saying mid-sentence as he was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot going off inside of the bathroom. Billy gasped as he jumped up out of bed, shoving Joe out of the way and running out of the room. Billy ran straight to the bathroom door, moving the door handle, noticing that it was locked. Billy grunted as he slammed his body up against the door a few times, finally sending the door flying open.

"Billy what's going on?!" Joe hollered from down the hallway.

"GO BACK TO BED JOE!" Billy screamed as he stared down at his mother who had just shot herself with one of Bones's pistols. To Billy's surprise, she was somehow still alive. Billy quickly ran over to his mother and scooped her head up on his lap.

"Mommy!" Joe screamed in horror from the bathroom door.

"GET ME A FUCKING PEN, NOW!" Billy shouted frantically.

Joe ran out of sight to grab the pen Billy was asking for. Billy's mother’s eyes stared up at Billy as she began to choke, probably on her own blood, Billy didn't know he was too young to know what was happening but yet he knew that he had to perform tracheotomy with a pen. Joe returned with the pen and tossed it at Billy who began following the steps he had learned in school.

"Hurry! CALL 911 like how I showed you!" Billy shouted at Joe as he created a small air wave for his mom. Billy had taught Joe almost everything since Bones could care less and their mother was too fucked up half the time to be a decent mother.

Billy knew she didn't have much time.

"Stay with me mom... stay with me..." Billy pleaded, beginning to tear up. Tears escaped Billy's eyes and streamed down his face as he watched his mother’s eyes slowly roll back in her head and her eyelids close.

"No!" Billy bawled as he held his mom's lifeless body in his arms.

Joe - who had just got off the phone with 911 - ran back into the bathroom and his jaw dropped as he stared at Billy and their mother’s lifeless body, Joe gasped before he screamed at the top of his lungs, "MOMMY!"

Luckily for Gemma, her wicked life was saved as the paramedics that Joe called arrived just in time to rush her to the hospital. Billy and Joe were pulled from the home and put into temporary foster care until Bones was able to gain custody. Gemma stayed in the hospital for awhile, but when it was time to come home, she never did. For years, Billy resented her for leaving him and Joe with Bones. Leaving Billy, a mere teen, to raise his younger brother like his own son. Now, he can’t say he really blames her. She got out… but instead of making something of herself, she died a fuckin’ drug addict… the same time Joe did.

“You’re a fuckin’ mess…” A female’s voice called from the doorway.

Billy lifted his head up, recognizing the voice, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say ya were followin’ me.”

“Not likely, if anything I’m making sure you don’t end up in jail,” Kori scoffed, unfolding her arms and walking over to where Billy was sitting. She glanced up at the wall above Shaun’s crib and stared at the photo of Billy and Joe together. She frowned and ran her fingers through her hair.

“How much blow did you snort?” She asked.

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke and smirked, “Ya have been followin’ me,”

“You trying to get an STD? That cheap blonde whore, really?”

Billy chuckled, “Jealous?”

“You fucked me once, Billy. Wanna try again?” She hissed, turning away from him. Billy clicked his jaw to the side and scratched his neck, staring down at the cigarette burning between his fingers. “Is this her?

Billy stood up and walked over to where Kori was standing, staring at another photo of Christy, Amber and Megan together at the Four Roses, back when Amber first met Megan. Billy glanced down at the photo, remembering the night that photo was taken. Trust Amber to frame a photo of a drunken photo of her and her two best girlfriends together.

“The middle one, ya.”

Kori nodded, “Cute.”

Billy nodded and snorted before walking away, back towards the crib. He tossed the teddy bear back down in the crib and stared at the safari mobile that he had purchased and had set up. “Ya know the only reason why he’s here still is because of you.”

Kori rolled her eyes, “Oh don’t fuckin’ start. You’re just trying to take away from the fact that you’re going around fuckin’ dirty whores and snorting rails up your fuckin’ nose!”

Billy spun around and narrowed his eyes into a glare at her, his chest heaving in and out, “Fuck you”

“Fuck me? Fuck you! You’re fuckin’ pathetic.”

“Go home to ya man, Korina.”

“Clean your shit up and be a fuckin’ father, BONES.” She spat, her words piercing through him like daggers. She stormed towards the door, almost stumbling back when Billy grabbed her by her upper arm and spun her around to face him. They both stared at one another through narrowed eyes but didn’t say anything. Kori ripped her arm free, “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

With that, she stormed out, slamming the front door as she left. Billy grunted and put his cigarette out on top of the change table, not caring if a burn hole were to appear or not. She was right. She always was fucking right.

Image

The rain was coming down something fierce, I winced and jogged as fast as I could with two plates of food in my hands, trying not to let the food get soggy from the rain. The wind picked up as I made my way up to the side garage door, slamming my back up against the door to open it as my hands were full.

“Jesus fuck, it’s raining hard. Sorry I took so long Dad”

“Dad?” I called out, looking around and noticing he was still in the same spot on the couch, too peaceful to be asleep.

The plates full of food seemed to just fall out of my hands as I slowly approached the couch. Tears began to stream down my face as I looked over my dad, who still had the family photo in his left hand. I ran my fingers through my drenched hair, falling down on my knees on the couch next to my dad. My eyes were burning from how hard I was sobbing as I wrapped my dad’s lifeless body into a tight embrace. His body was cold, but yet there was a warm feeling about him… a warm feeling of being at peace? I don’t know. I wasn’t sure.

I rocked him back and forth, crying too hard to realize that I was getting both him and the photo soaking wet. My body trembled and the rest of the world around me seemed to slow right down. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, cradling his lifeless body before my mom came to find me to let me know that Shaun was freaking out.

“Amber, Shaun’s freaking out, nothing is working. I think he needs- OH MY GOD!”

The room spun as my mom pulled out her phone and began to dial a number, soon screaming into the phone. I fell backward off of the couch, pulling my knees to my chest and burying my face into my lap as Lana and her man soon appeared inside of the garage. Before I knew it, the paramedics were here, even though there was nothing that they could do.

He was gone.


	56. chapter 55

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our final tribute of respect to Samuel Hume: Father, friend, loved one. To the members of the family, who mourn your loss, we offer our deep and sincere sympathy. May we share with you the comfort afforded by God's Word for such a time as this:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. (John 14:1-3)" 

The preacher man’s words replayed over and over again in my mind during our long but much-needed flight home. Shaun slept most of the way home, allowing aunty Christy to sleep on and off. For someone who “hates” kids, she’s sure an amazing aunt to Shaun. Given the circumstances of everything that has occurred in the past three months though, I’m glad I have Christy at my side to help with Shaun. I know Meg, Ramona and Julia when she arrives later this month will be a huge help to me with Shaun.

I haven’t slept a wink since my dad’s funeral. He’s a peace now and no longer suffering but I still feel cheated of my own father. Why was I such a fucking rebellious idiot who refused to see things in my parents’ perspective? No, it was Shane’s way or the highway.

My heart was empty, regardless of the beautiful baby boy that I had brought into this world. He’s too perfect, too innocent. He doesn’t deserve to have a fuck up like me for a mother. I don’t blame him if he grows up to despise me and never talks to me again. At least then I know he’s chosen a different path in life instead of the one I’ve chosen.

Maybe I’m just being dramatic. I know damn well that I can raise my son to be everything that I want him to be, everything that he deserves to be. Dad would want me to do everything in my power to give Shaun the best possible upbringing that I can provide. Let’s be honest, I was going to anyway. I’m just being a sad sack of shit, feeling sorry for myself. Look at Christy, her family can’t stand her and has nothing to do with her. She battled and probably still battles a drug addiction. She allowed herself to get involved with someone else, just to watch him be killed - or hear him be shot in the head. Fuck, she was shot herself during a home invasion that just so happened to be caused due to her affiliation with me.

“Yo, you gonna get your bags?” Christy asked, awakening me from my thoughts.

I nodded and handed her Shaun’s car seat, “Yeah, watch him for a second.”

Christy grunted at the sudden weight hanging off of her right arm. I made my way over to where luggage pick up was and gathered mine and Shaun’s luggage. We didn’t have to call for a taxi as Megan was outside the airport waiting for us. Christy put the luggage in the back while I buckled Shaun’s car seat in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat and thanking Megan for coming to grab us. Unfortunately for us, our flight got delayed and we didn’t land in Boston until evening time instead of the planned morning. Shaun and Christy both fell asleep while Megan and I listened to music since there was nothing better to do. We were stuck in Boston’s 6pm rush hour. It was bumper to bumper traffic and we were stuck on one of the overpasses impatiently waiting for the flow of traffic to pick up.

“Yo, you awake back there?” Megan called out to Christy, staring at her through the rearview mirror. I smirked and looked back over my shoulder to see Christy’s head against the window and her mouth hung agape, sleeping soundly. “Guess she’s out cold.”

“Long flight…” I breathed.

“Well... “ Megan started, glancing over at me before sighing, “There’s some shit going on here while you were gone…”

“Like what?” I asked in annoyance.

“Like… shit.”

“Like what, Meg?”

“I can’t tell you everything as I was told not to. But, I’m just kinda giving you a heads up…”

“Megan, what the fuck happened?!’

“Dude… you’ll see as soon as I drop you off.”

“Now what the fuck did they manage to get themselves into? I’m calling Bodie-” I grumbled, pulling my phone out.

“No!” Megan exclaimed, reaching her arm out and grabbing my wrist. “Bodie, Jamie, Jack and a couple of the boys are already at your place waiting for you to arrive.”

“You know, I literally just got here and they’re already gonna be bothering me shit I barely know anything about? Do you know how long it took Bodie to teach me how to do payroll? Did you know that Billy put my fucking name on the ownership of that fucking shop without me knowing?! Did you know that his fucking car is also under my name?!” I spazzed, throwing my hands up in the air.

Megan smirked, “You aren’t that dumb are ya?”

“What?” I asked with wide-eyed.

Megan rolled her eyes, “He did that because the shop is literally a legal way for you to have guaranteed income. The car? He did that a long time ago in case he ever got arrested… the police couldn't seize that car. C’mon Amber… you told me not too long ago that I had to deal with this life… It’s about time you remind yourself of it too.”

I chewed on the inside of my bottom lip and sighed in defeat, “You’re right… you’re right.”

“Jack’s on crutches,” Megan changed the subject.

“What? Really?! That’s fucking awesome!” I exclaimed.

Megan smiled and nodded, “Thank fucking God.”

“I’m glad Meg, I really am. I’m gonna give him the hugest hug when I see him.”

“I’m sorry about your dad, Amber…”

I frowned, “Yeah… me too.”

There was a moment or two of awkward silence but thankfully Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” came on the radio and saved us from the awkwardness. Megan started to snicker to herself and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how she was trying her hardest to hold back laughter.

“I’m sorry! We’re trying to talk about something serious and fuckin’ Kid Rock starts singing,” Megan giggled.

“Kid rock it up and down your block with a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch,” I managed to ‘sing’ out in between fits of laughter.

“Are you guys seriously listening to this fuckin’ hillbilly racist from Detroit?” Christy grumbled from the backseat.

“Oh, evening there sleeping beauty,” Megan said, staring at Christy through the rearview mirror.

“If Shaun wasn’t in the vehicle, I’d wish that we’d get in a car accident or go off this overpass so I wouldn’t have to listen to this shit,” Christy mumbled, adjusting her posture before closing her eyes again and yawning.

Megan and I both stared at one another and rolled our eyes before busting out into laughter again. Eventually, traffic started to slowly move and we made our way across Boston and eventually found ourselves in the inner city Boston - the rough part - our part of the city. The Compton of Boston. Billy’s part of Boston. His turf. Well, was his turf.

“How’s my pooch?” I asked as we passed the gas station where Joe did his initiation killing on Charlie’s little brother. I cringed at the thought of it and tried to think of something else, anything else to get it off of my mind, “I sure miss Chop.”

“He’s good, he’s at home impatiently waiting for yours and Shaun’s arrival,” Megan responded with a warm smile before looking back at the road. “Hell, everyone at your place is excited for you two to get home.”

“I just wanna see Jack. Bodie and Jamie are just there to make sure I’m alright and jump down my throat with the business,” I sighed.

Megan winced and leaned her head from side to side, “Er… yeah… something like that.”

I cocked an eyebrow, “Okay seriously what the fuck is goin’ on?”

“You’ll uh, see when you get home…” Megan winced.

Closing my eyes as I sighed, I clicked my jaw to the side in annoyance, “I just… want… to fucking get home, change Shaun, feed Shaun, make more formula and then climb into bed and sleep for the few hours that Shaun may allow me to have before waking up in the middle of the night to eat and be changed again,”

“Hey, I’m just givin’ you a heads up is all,” Megan shrugged duly, turning down my block.

“Megan, can you just tell me what the fuck is going- WHAT THE FUCK?!” I shouted as we approached the house, seeing Billy’s car parked in the driveway.

“...Shit,” Megan grumbled, putting the car in park. Both Shaun and Christy woke abruptly at my outburst. Megan leaned over into the backseat to calm Shaun as I whipped off my seatbelt and stormed out of the car so fast.

“Why the fuck is that car here?! Why isn’t it back at Bone’s shop?!” I shouted at the first person I could spot, Bodie.

Bodie and Jack both went wide eyed and Jamie started to laugh as he made his way up the front steps, opening the front door and yelling inside of the house, as if someone were inside or something. Jack pulled himself up off of the steps and flicked his cigarette to the grown, grabbed his crutches and made his way over to me. Bodie had his hands up and was trying to calm me down but nothing was working, I was yelling like a psychopath trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

“Ya ass needsta calm the fuck down, dawg,” Bodie said firmly, shaking my shoulders.

“You NEED to tell me what the FUCK is going on here, DAWG” I spat.

“Amber,” Jack winced, “Just calm down.”

“You calm the fuck down!” I shouted.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” I heard Christy scream at Megan, who probably just informed her about whatever it was that was fucking going on. Shaun was still inside of the car, thankfully. “Amber! They’re fucking hiding him in-”

“What?!” I hissed, spinning around.

My eyes widened at Christy, who’s mouth was hanging open and was frozen in her tracks, staring at the front door. Everyone went quiet as I slowly turned back around to see whatever it was that everyone was fucking looking at.

“That’s enough,” Billy said firmly.

My heart sunk into the bottom of my stomach. My hands fell limp at my sides My mouth hung opened and closed like a fish in water as I tried to form words. I could feel tears threatening to pour out as I stared up at him. I hardly recognized him at first, as he actually had short sandy/dirty coloured blonde hair instead of his head being shaved like he always had since I’ve known him. His facial hair was still the same. The tribal tattoo that ran up the sides of his neck was the only thing that confirmed to me that it was actually Billy standing in front of me, well and alive.

He stared back at me between narrowed eyes, like he was just waiting for my reaction. My hands started to trembled and I gritted my teeth as my blood began to boil. Everything that had happened in the past few months that I’ve had bottled up inside suddenly exploded. Before Bodie or anyone could realize what was happening, I lunged at Billy and started swinging. I blacked out, I was seeing pure red. Billy jumped off of the steps and tried to grab both of my wrists but wasn’t fast enough and received a couple of right hooks to the jaw and ear as I was so livid that I couldn’t even hit properly.

“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!” I screamed, pulling my arm back to hit him again, but couldn't as he grabbed onto me and dug his fingertips into my arms. “LET ME GO!”

“This nigga lost in the sauce if he think it’s wise to bring his trailer trash ass the fuck out here right now,” Bodie shook his head at the one of the neighbors who came outside to see what was going on. Bodie sat back down on the steps and lit a cigarette.

I flailed around as Billy wrapped his arms around me as tight as he could, lifting me up off of the ground and fighting to get me up the steps. He was gritting his teeth and I was slamming my elbows down into his arms, trying to get him to let me go so that I could hit him some more for letting me think that he was fucking dead. Jack made his way over to Christy and Megan who were standing there watching and unsure if they should intervene or not. Bodie and Jamie moved out of Billy’s way as he drug/carried me up the front steps and let me go. But before I could hit him again, he slammed me up against the house, pinning me there.

His nostrils were flaring and his chest was heaving in and out, “Stop”

“Fuck you!” I spat angrily.

“Amber…” He warned in a low tone.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK IS IN THE BACKSEAT OF MEGAN’S CAR?!” I screamed, “YOUR FUCKING SON!”

Billy punched the house beside where my head was, making me jump slightly. He unpinned me and took a step back as I continued to scream at him, asking him how he could do this to me.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” I screamed, tears finally finding their way down my cheeks. “Why the fuck would you do this?!” I bawled.

“Ya won’t understand,” He said between gritted teeth.

I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes, hoping the tears that were pouring out of my eyes would somehow stop if I did so. Shaun’s cries were echoing around and I immediately ran down the steps over to the back of Megan’s vehicle, unbuckling Shaun’s car seat and lugging it over towards the house.

“BECAUSE OF YOU!” I shouted, pausing to lower my voice as I was scaring Shaun who was already hysterically bawling from all the commotion going on, “Because of you… your son was born premature. Because of you, he spent the first part of his life in a NICU hooked up to machines while I sat there praying to God that he will survive and pull through.”

Billy’s anger was quickly wiped from his face as he stared down at Shaun. Billy didn’t say anything, he just stared blankly. Maybe he didn’t know what to say or maybe he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything. I couldn’t tell if he felt guilty or hated himself just as much as I do for bringing something so innocent and so pure into the kind of life that we lead.

He glanced up at me and stared into my vulnerable, sad eyes. He exhaled a breath before nodding at Jamie and Bodie to follow. They both got up and followed Billy towards his car.

“Yeah fuckin’ leave! That’s all you’re good for!” I shouted. “I wish you would have died!” I shouted as he fired up his car and pulled out of the driveway, speeding away down the street.  
Megan. Christy and Jack were kind enough to stick around to help me bath Shaun, feed, and get Shaun ready for bed. Luckily for me, he actually went straight to sleep tonight, giving me time to unpack and shower. When they all left, I felt lonely and unsure what to do. I crawled into bed and laid there staring into the darkness, feeling dead inside. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

Image

When I did finally wake up, I felt amazing; well-rested and full of energy. I almost didn’t want to get out of bed until my eyes laid on the alarm clock that read “1:30am”. I jumped up in bed and kicked the blankets off. I had slept for seven hours, which means I somehow managed to sleep through Shaun’s cries as he usually wakes up every few hours to eat and get his diaper changed. My world spun as I immediately thought the worst, what if Shaun didn’t cry? Why isn’t he crying?!

“Amber,” A voice called out from across the room before I reached the bedroom door. I knew exactly who’s voice it was. I turned around slowly and watched as Billy stood up from sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Billy…?” I whispered, scrunching my brows in confusion.

Billy slowly made his way over to me with a sleeping Shaun in his tattooed arms, “The kid ate and his diaper is dry. He passed right out after eating,”

“W-What?”

“He’s fine,” Billy said in annoyance.

“You… you took care of him?” I asked appalled.

“He’s my kid,” Billy snapped. “Who do you think took care of Joey when Bones was always out drinkin’ or my ma was shootin’ up?”

“Thank you…” I whispered, walking up to him and smiling down at Shaun.

“Looks like his ma,” Billy stated, staring at me.

I smiled, “Acts like his dad.”

Billy smirked and followed me out of our room and into Shaun’s nursery where he carefully placed Shaun down in his crib. He leaned down into the crib and planted a kiss on Shaun’s forehead, taking me back slightly that he was showing so much affection to Shaun. I mean, it was weird to see… my gang leader boyfriend being so gentle and caring to our son.

We left the nursery and headed back into our room. We just stood there, staring at one another in silence. Billy’s eyes looked me over, like he was trying to figure out what to say to make this right. I sighed and took a step forward, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting the side of my face against his chest. To my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me and just held me in silence.

“I’m sorry,” He said, breaking the silence.

I pulled away slightly, still holding onto him, but just enough to stare up at him, “Don’t ever fucking do something like that again.”

“Had no choice,” He quipped.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slightly, “Do you know what happened here that night?”

“I know… I took care of all of em,”

I sighed in relief knowing that those scumbags were more than likely dead. In fact, I knew exactly what Billy meant by “Taking care” of someone. There was no doubt in my mind that they weren’t dead.

A faint smile spread across my lips as I placed both of my hands on the sides of Billy’s neck and just stared at him, “I love you, Billy Darley.”

Billy responded by crashing his lips against mine. He knelt down slightly to grab me by the back of my thighs and lifted me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist as he stood tall again. I broke the kiss and giggled.

“What if Shaun wakes up?”

Billy smirked, “Think ya can be quiet?”

“That depends what you’re gonna do to me,” I bit my bottom lip slyly.

A sly grin appeared on Billy’s face, “Make up for lost time.”


	57. chapter 56

Before I knew it, Billy pinned me up against the wall and was kissing me hungrily. My fingers ran through his hair that I was still trying to get use to being on him. His left hand ran up under my shirt to my bra, cupping one of my breasts as his tongue ran across my bottom lip. I moaned into the kiss, allowing his tongue entrance in my mouth where his tongue danced with my own.

“I fucking missed you,” I breathed as we broke the kiss.

Billy peppered kisses along my jawline and started sucking on the skin near my ear lobe, surely leaving a mark. I could feel the heat rising in my core as he continued to leave hickeys up and down my neck until he reached the part where my shoulder connects with my neck. I trembled under his mouth and grinded my hips against his, causing him to growl against my skin.

“I’m goin’ to make it up to ya,” he murmured, sucking on the spot where my neck and shoulder met. I whined beneath him, reaching up to tangle my hand into his hair.

“Billy,” I whimpered.  
He pulled away and licked over the spot where he’d just sucked a bruise into my skin. “Ready?”

I nodded, my chest heaving in and out as I panted. With one swift movement, Billy pulled us away from the wall and placed me down on the bed. Since I had been sleeping prior to this, I was wearing nothing but a baggy t-shirt and short black spandex shorts. Billy smirked as he watched me bite my lip in anticipation.

“Whad’ya want me to do first?” He asked as I sat up so he could pull my shirt off and so that I could kiss his neck.

I giggled like a little school girl against his collarbone, “You know what I want you to do,”

Billy pushed me back down on the bed by my shoulders and immediately started sucking at my chest, pulling my bra down instead of just taking it off. I arched my back and unhooked it myself, knowing that the way my back was arched and my breasts were now exposed was driving him wild. His mouth immediately went to one of them, his tongue caressing the skin around my pierced nipple. I gasped as his tongue traced over the piercing. He pulled back slightly and I giggled, knowing exactly what he was about to ask.

“I formula feed, don’t worry…I’m not gonna lactate in your fucking mouth, weirdo,” I giggled.

He didn’t say anything, instead he just went back to what he was doing. My legs trembled as one of his hands ran down my side, gently tracing lines in my skin with his nails. Chewing on my bottom lip, I ran my hands up under his shirt and caressed his back, slightly dragging my nails into his skin. Billy stopped what he was doing and sat up, reaching one arm back behind his head and pulling his shirt off over his head in one quick movement.

“I want you so fuckin’ bad,” I whispered seductivly.

“Do ya?” He asked, damn well knowing the answer. His hands stopped at my hips, slowly pulling my shorts down my legs and throwing them somewhere across the room.

“So fucking bad,” I admitted shamelessly. Billy chuckled and licked his lips.

“Ya want me to eat ya out?”

My face flushed red and I nodded slowly, “Yeah,”

Billy ran his hand over the front of my thong and slipped his middle finger underneath the fabric and smirked in satisfaction at how wet he already had me, “Yeah, I know ya do.”

He traced his finger along my clit, making my breath hitch in my throat at his touch. He stared down at me with a satisfied smirk on his face as he watched my reaction while the pad of his finger moved in small circles against my clit. I was biting my lip so hard that I was almost drawing blood.

“Billy,” I cried out in pleasure.

“You gonna let me spread these little legs of yours and do whatever I wanna do to ya?” He removed his hand from under my thong and grabbed the side of my thong and pulled it down my legs.

I shivered, feeling and being completely naked under him, “Y-Yes”

“Ya want me to spread your lips with my tongue and eat you out until cum?”

“Yes, fuck yes,” I whimpered.

Billy climbed off of the bed and removed his belt, but before he could do anything else, I sat up and unbuttoned his jeans, staring up at his blue eyes the whole time. I pushed them down his hips just enough that I could rub my palm over his growing arousal. His fingers ran through my hair as I pushed his boxers down and took hold of his length and ran my tongue along his shaft.

We didn’t break eye contact as I sucked on the head of his cock, not until I began to take him further and further into my mouth. He leaned his head back and groaned as I took him all the way into my throat. He loved the fact that I have no gag reflex, he knows it - and knows that I know - that he loves it.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and held me against him until I pulled back and gasped for air. Smiling up at him proudly with saliva hanging from the corners of my mouth.

“Good girl,” He said lowly, pushing me down on my back again, my hair sprawling out all over around my head. I probably looked like a mess, but at this moment I felt absolutely beautiful.

Billy knelt down beside the bed, hooking his arms under my knees and dragging me towards the edge of the bed. He planted kisses on both of my inner thighs, making me shiver. He leaned forward and ran his tongue up along my slit. I gasped and grabbed his hair. His hands grabbed my thighs and threw my legs over his shoulders as he his tongue traced circles against my clit.

The more I cried out, the more he went out of his way to drive me over the edge. His facial hair tickled against me yet somehow managed to drive me wild. He was incredibly good at this, better than Shane, better than anyone I had ever been with.

“Billy!” I exclaimed, tugging at his hair trying to get him to stop, “I’m gonna-”

“I ain’t done with ya yet,” He said before going back to what he was doing, only this time he slipped two fingers inside of me knuckle deep in one swift motion.

“Oh fuck,” I yelped out as he hunched over me, kissing my neck as his fingers slid in and out of me. I bucked my hips against his hand and gritted my teeth. Billy placed a sloppy kiss against my jaw,

“Cum for me,”

I leaned my head back and cried out, arching my back and doing just what he commanded me to do. Billy pulled his hand out of me completely and kissed my sweaty forehead as he took hold of himself and ran his tip against my core.

“Just fuck me,” I begged already aching for him.

Billy smirked and without warning he slammed into me, immediately placing the palm of his hand over my mouth to drown out my cries. His other hand grabbed at my thigh, his fingers digging into my skin enough to leave a bruise. Eventually the hand that was covering my mouth went to my throat, where he held me down CAREFULLY yet firmly, just how he knew I loved it.

My nails clawed at his upper arms, shoulders, and down his back to the point where I knew I was drawing blood. He didn’t seem to care, if anything all that did was make him pick up his pace and slam into me harder, and deeper with every thrust.

When we switched positions and I found myself face down into the mattress as Billy held me down by the back of my neck. I turned my face so that I could kind of look back at him as he fucked me harder than he ever has before. My hands were gripping the sheets while Billy’s hand released the back of my neck and instead grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me up so that my back was against his chest.

“I love you,” He whispered into my ear in a husky tone.

Eventually, we ended back up in the position that we started in. My knees shook as my legs startled to tremble. Billy grinned evilly before leaning back down and kissing me roughly. I tried my hardest to kiss him back but I couldn't so I pulled my face away from his and gasped, "Oh my fucking God." I murmured.  
A smug look formed on Billy's face as he stared down at me, watching me tremble underneath him. He leaned down and crashed his lips on top of mine, kissing me roughly and slipping his tongue inside my mouth as soon as I moaned, giving him the chance to do so.

"Billy..." I whimpered out.

Billy didn't say anything, instead, he just picked up his pace even faster than he was already going. My toes curled and my back arched as I gripped onto the sheet tightly and dug my nails into Billy's back with my free hand. I knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, A high pitched squeal/moan escaped my mouth as I reached my limit. Soon after, Billy slowed his pace down but slammed into me as hard as he could which told me that he had reached his limit.

My breathing was heavy and we were both panting before Billy pulled himself out of me. I fell limply back on the bed, pulling the sheets and blanket over my naked body. Billy wiped himself off with a random t-shirt of his before tossing another shirt at me. I reluctantly cleaned myself off with it before tossing it across the room in disgust.

He climbed into bed beside me and pulled my back against his chest. I smiled warmly as I snuggled up against him. His thumb caressed the ring he had given me the night he asked me to marry him.

“You forgive me now?”

I giggled and elbowed him slightly, “Yes, ass, I forgive you.”

Billy yawned, "Night."

I sighed, "Shaun will be up in a couple hours. I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow,"

I felt Billy shrug, "Worth it,"


	58. chapter 57

"You wanna spend the rest of your life running drugs out of that dive mechanic shop of yours? You're a god damn heat spot just by looking at you," The bearded man with the undercut said, pausing to ash his cigar in the ashtray on the table, "I'm surprised the feds haven't kicked your doors in by now."

"Where's he at with all this?" Billy asked, scratching the side of his neck with one hand, a burning cigarette in the other.

"Who? Charlie?" He laughed, "Where do you think he is with this? Better pay - guaranteed at that - better connections and its out of this fucking shit hole."

"We doin' fine right here," Bodie cut in.

The man laughed in disbelief as he opened the folder in front of him, "Billy Darley, age 28. Did a two-year stint in the big house at the age of 22 for both possession and motive to traffic charges. Bodeaous Wallis, age 30. Also did time for Theft over $5000, possession and failure to appear in court, all at the tender age of 19 god damn years old."

He raised his brows in disbelief and dropped the file down on the table carelessly, "Yeah, I can fuckin' tell how good you all are doing here."

"Ya gotta fuckin' point?" Billy asked holding his arm out to prevent Bodie from jumping up and punching this guy in the face.

"My point? This is the big one, baby! It doesn't get much better than this for us criminals. Unless you get involved with the mafia but let's be honest... The Italians ain't gonna greet you and Bocephus or whatever over here with open arms," he replied, nodding at Bodie.

"Cracker ass bitch, I don't give a fuck what no Italian wop ass KKK motha fuckas think about me, so you? You can just get outta here with that!" Bodie barked.

"Woah woah, calm down. I'm with the fuckin' Mexican cartel, you dumb son of a bitch, I love y'all. The mafia has 50's and 60's mentality, not us. Damn." He sighed in defense.

"Damn rights you do, Fuckin' spic"

"Alright, enough with the race war shit," Billy barked at the two of them.

Bodie narrowed his eyes into a cold hard glare at Rafael and sat back down in his seat. Rafael smirked and placed the cigar back in between his lips and winked at Bodie - taunting him. Billy flicked the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray and slowly lifted the cigarette back up to his lips, staring at Rafael between squinted eyes.

"Your call, Billy. But word of advice, do it for your kid. You want him in this lifestyle? At least with us you can afford to send him off to some college, maybe he will become a lawyer or some shit. Or, maybe he will grow up here and be just like daddy-o in 18 years." Rafael shrugged, putting out his cigar.

Billy's jaw muscled tightened and his posture stiffened. The last thing he wanted was his son growing up and having this as a lifestyle. He especially didn't want his son to grow up to be just like himself. But, that being said, Billy knew that the man before him could pull through with everything that he's promising. This could be Billy's chance to leave the slums of inner city Boston, make way more cash than he does now, and give Shaun better than what he had growing up.

Overall, Rafael's lifestyle was one that Billy himself secretly envied. Rafael was Billy's age but was light years ahead of him and anyone he knew - financially, anyway. This was an offer that Billy couldn't refuse, even though he wanted to.

"Good ol' fuckin' Four Roses," The sound of Kori's voice awoke Billy from his thoughts.

"What's she doin' here?" Bodie hissed, glaring at Rafael.

"Charlie couldn't make it, and nice to fuckin' see you too, Bodie." Kori hissed, plopping down in an empty chair. She glanced over at Billy for a brief second before looking away, "Hi Billy..."

"Kori," He responded, acknowledging her.

"There somewhere we can take this? This dive bar looks like it's getting busy," Rafael sighed in annoyance.

Billy clicked his jaw and nodded slowly, "Yeah... We can use Sammy's office."

"Yo, I'm out... I'ma stay here, wait for the boys and I'ma finna get somethin' to drink. Ya need anything just shout," Bodie said to Billy.

Billy nodded and placed his hands on the edge of the table, pushing his chair out and nodding at both Rafael and Kori to follow him to Sammy's office.

Image

My day started off hectic, I was abruptly awoken by Shaun screaming/crying bloody murder in his crib, so naturally, I jumped out of bed with my legs tangled up with the sheets where I then found myself face first on the floor. Luckily, nothing was wrong with Shaun besides the fact he had a wet diaper and clearly wanted it changed. Billy was gone by the time Shaun had woke me up. The fact that they no longer had “the office” to cook drugs in anymore was really coming down on Billy. The mechanic shop was doing fine in business and without Bones running the place we were bringing in new, better and more customers.

But that wasn’t enough for Billy. He has the chance to do something right, something legal and make legal fucking money. Which, to be fair, he technically is with Bones’ shop… but running drugs on the side and selling unregistered firearms to very few people is a choice he chose to make and put us all through. Joe - his own brother - is dead, Heco is dead, Tommy is dead, Baggy is dead, Dog is dead, Bones is dead, Jack nearly died, Billy nearly died.

The only ones left are Billy, Bodie, Jamie, Spink and Jack - if he still counts. I can’t help but feel that we’re all on borrowed time though.

“I grabbed the first thing I saw that had a baby eating on the can,” Spink shouted at Christy.

“This is fucking SLIM FAST!” Christy shouted, throwing it at him.

Spink covered his face with his arms in defence. I sighed loudly, and patted Shaun’s back - who was asleep against my chest, as I dialed Billy’s number. Christy had come over earlier this afternoon after her shift at The Four Roses. Billy hadn’t been picking up, and since I don’t have a vehicle or feel like walking with Shaun in this neighborhood, I had to get someone to go get formula for me. Christy’s car finally shit the bed and Megan’s working. Billy eventually answered and I flipped out, telling him that Shaun needed formula. SO what does Billy do? He sends Spink of all people to do it for me.

“Billy fucking said to get the good shit with the vitamins!” Spink yelled in defence, “So it was between that and the baby shit. This shit says it has more vitamins”

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE BETWEEN THOSE TWO?!” Christy hollered, waving her hands around.

Spink shrugged, “I don’t fuckin’ know! I don’t have kids!”

Christy frowned, “Yeah, yeah cool. Cool, thanks Spink. Now I gotta pick up the pieces for your fucking stupid idea,”

“He’s sleeping anyway, fuck why does it-”

“CAUSE YOU’RE A STUPID CUNT!” Christy shouted, causing me to roll my eyes as I held up the phone to my ear. “Who the fuck buys a baby slim fast?!”

“Billy?”

“Yeah,” He replied cooly.

“Spink bought the wrong shit… can you come grab me or can you go pick it up?” I sighed.

“Can’t, I got shit to do. Get him to take you and tell him to buckle the fuck down,” Billy replied, exhaling smoke into the phone.

I clicked my jaw to the side, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“What?”

“Fuck it, I’ll just walk. He’s half cut. Shaun and I are not driving with him,” I hissed.

“Then fuckin’ get Christy to take you to the shop and take the SUV. Keys are in the desk, happy now? It’s yours”

I sighed in annoyance, “Billy…”

“Just fuckin’ go get it. Ya need wheels anyway for the kid,”

“Are you sure…?”

I could only imagine the annoyance written across his face, “Yeah. I’ll see you later alright?”

“Where are you?” I asked dully.

“The Four Roses, I’m dealin’ with some shit.”

“Like what? Are you- You’re fucking drunk aren’t you?”

“Don’t start,”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re getting drunk and I’m sitting here with your son, who finally by the way just went to sleep after screaming his head off all day. Fuck-”

“I gotta go, I love ya.”  
“Billy?” The dial tone rang in my ear and I growled, carelessly tossing my phone down on the couch. “He fucking hung up on me.”

“Seriously?” Both Christy and Spink asked as the front door opened and in piled Megan and Jack.

“Hey,”

“Yeah, he fucking hung up on me. He’s ‘busy’ at The Four Roses. He wants me to go pick up the black SUV from the shop so I have a vehicle to use.” I breathed, biting the inside of my cheek trying to keep my cool.

Being overtired and irritated, I’m super emotional because of it. I’m not really mad at Billy, to be honest. I’m just pissed off because today has been nothing but stressful and he’s out getting drunk. Not to mention, I’m still trying to cope with the loss of my dad, which I’ve kept inside and dealt with myself without anyone - not even Christy - knowing. I’m pms’ing and overall, today just needs to end so I can have my two and a half hours of sleep.

“Feel like comin’ for a ride Jack?” Spink asked looking over at Jack who was sitting down next to me, smiling at a sleeping Shaun. Jack was just so… so loveable and soft hearted that I wanted to just squeeze him. He’s adorable. Like Shaun. Except, Jack’s like… my age. So. Not like Shaun. But still adorable.

“We gonna go get Amber’s SUV?” Jack asked, staring up at Spink.

Spink smirked, “Think ya can drive it back here?”

Jack chuckled and stretched his legs out, “I got this.”

“You don’t have to, Jackie. I’ll go,” I insisted, giving him a weak smile.

Jack wrapped an arm around my shoulders, “Nah, I’m fine. You should get little guy to bed. I promise I won’t smash your truck up on the way here,”

I smiled and rolled my eyes, “I know, I know.”

Megan plopped down on the armrest of the couch and smirked down at me, “Amby”

“What?” I asked slowly, staring at her and Christy who were both smirking.

“Can I watch Shaun tonight?”

“Why?”

“Cause we’re going to The Four Roses and Billy’s gonna catch your hands,” Christy cut in.

I pursed my lips and nodded slowly, hearing Jack groan behind me and Spink laugh in disbelief. For a minute there, I was almost willing to do it, but I changed my mind and shook my head ‘no’.

“I can’t just up and leave Shaun here to go to a bar,” I sighed.

Megan and Christy glanced at one another and rolled their eyes, “Yes you can.”

“I can’t-”

“Yes, you fucking can,” Megan reassured me, “Now give me beeb’s, go have a shower, put some makeup on and get your skinny ass to that bar.”

Megan and Christy both put Shaun to bed for me so that I could get a shower in and get ready, while Jack and Spink both went and picked up “my” SUV for me. When I was done in the bathroom, my hair and makeup both done for once, I headed to my bedroom to pick out something to wear. To my surprise, Christy was sitting on my bed, staring down at her feet.

“What are you doin’?” I asked casually, walking over to the closet and searching for some clothes.

“You always carry a fucking gun in the diaper bag?” She asked.

I glanced back at her from over my shoulder and shrugged, “Look what kind of life we live and where we live,”

“This ain’t the piece you got from Bones,” She said dully.

“That a question or a statement?” I quipped, turning my attention back over to my closet.

Christy sighed loudly and stood up, suddenly appearing next to me. She looked me up and down, nodding in slight approval of my outfit choice. Neither of us said anything, instead, Christy pursed her lips and reached for a black leather jacket of mine. She took it off the hanger and handed it to me.

“You know, sometimes I wonder why it wasn’t me,”

I pulled on the jacket and stared back at her with a puzzled look, “What do you mean?”

“Joe,” She replied, exhaling a shaky breath. “Look how I was-”

“But look how you are now, Chris.” I cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder. “If there’s anything I’ve picked up on, it’s not to dwell on the past. Especially doing the shit that we do,”

A small smile formed on Christy’s face, “Ya know, you’re right… mom”

I rolled my eyes, “Can you think of something better to call me when you're mocking me?"

Christy pursed her lips and leaned in, "Sorry, Queen."

Image

Anxiety started to take over as the taxi pulled into the parking lot of the Four Roses and Billy’s car came into view. I quickly paid the driver and Christy and I bolted out of the car and across the parking lot.

“You ready?” Christy asked as we approached the bar doors. I swallowed hard and nodded. “Alrighty ma, let’s go.”

The bar was surprisingly busy tonight, making it hard for me to see where Billy was, even though I knew he’d be at his usual table. Clouds of cigarette smoked fogged the bar up and though I no longer smoked, I suddenly had an urge to find a cigarette, light it up and smoke it.

“Wanna drink?” I asked Christy, raising my voice slightly in order for her to hear me over the loud music.

Christy, clearly taken back from my question, nodded, “Shit, yeah I do,”

“I already need one,” I laughed.

“No shit,” Christy giggled as we made our way over to the bar where Ramona and Amanda were both behind.

“Amber! Hey!” Amanda greeted me with a warm smile, “What can I get you guys?”

“Two bottles of bud and two shots of Jack, let’s go,” Christy demanded, slapping some money down on the bar counter.

“Well, look what the fuckin’ cat dragged in!” Ramona exclaimed, coming out around from behind the bar and pulling me into a big hug, “Where the fuck have you been?!”

“Doin’ mom shit that moms do,” Christy answered for me, leaning against the bar.

“What she said,” I chuckled.

“It’s good to see you,” Ramona said with a smile, “But… no fuckin’ fights tonight, alright?”

“I think Jennifer got the point when I nearly broke her nose last time I was in here,” I replied, pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek.

“Don’t be so sure…” Ramona trailed off, nodding behind me. I snarled in disgust almost immediately looking at what Ramona was nodding at. Jennifer. “She knows better than to say anything to you now, but, given what she’s done while you were gone…”

“What?” I asked slowly.  
Ramona cocked an eyebrow at me and glanced over at Christy who clearly had put two and two together and was seeing what I clearly wasn’t seeing. Christy closed her eyes and sighed, slightly shaking her head before opening her eyes back up and frowning. Amanda shoved two of the shots across the bar over to me.

“Throw these back and chug this beer,” Amanda instructed.

“No fights….” Ramona warned.

“What the fuck is going on?” I asked, becoming annoyed.

“Just drink,” Christy cut in, nodding at the shots.

Clicking my jaw to the side, I picked up one of the shot’s and threw it back. The warm whiskey burnt the back off my throat, causing me to relive painful whiskey hangover moments. When I was done the shots, I held up the bottle of beer at Christy and we both clanked the necks of our bottles together and both said a monotone “Cheers”.

“You gonna tell me now?” I asked as I slammed the empty beer bottle down on the bar. I then wiped my mouth with my arm and narrowed my eyes into a glare at both Ramona and Amanda.

“No fights,” Ramona repeated.

“Just fucking tell us,” Christy hissed.

“Billy was fucking Jennifer again while you were gone…” Amanda blurted out.

My heart sunk and my hands trembled at my sides. My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish out of water. While I was back home visiting my dying father - thinking that Billy was dead - he was back here and fucking that piece of slutty trash, Jennifer.

“We thought he died with my brother, Baggy…” Amanda started.

“He was drunk as fuck when he left with her-” Ramona started.

“So, while I was in Michigan, trying to raise my son alone because I thought Billy was dead… he was here, fucking that disgusting tramp?” I asked in a low tone.

“Amber, he’s in Sammy’s office talking to some serious fuckin’ people… please don’t this now or here,” Ramona pleaded with me.

I swallowed hard and stared at Christy who looked to be just as pissed off as I was, “I won’t… Just, wow. I’m gonna go to the bathroom quick,”

“Want me to come with?” Christy asked, clueless to how hurt I actually was.

I shook my head ‘no’, “Nah, I’m fine… I’ll be right back.”

With that, I stormed through the crowds of people, passing Billy’s table seeing Jamie, Bodie, Spink and a few other “new guys” sitting there, gawking up at me with wide eyes. I glared at them all as I passed the table. Turning to my side, I practically body checked the girls bathroom door open. To my surprise, the bathroom was empty even though the bar was busy tonight.

“Fucking piece of shit,” I grumbled, walking into a stall and locking it behind me. I sighed and sat down on the closed toilet seat, resting my elbows on my knees and burrying my face in my hands.

A part of me wanted to cry, while another part of me wanted to go punch Billy in the face and then punch Jennifer in the face. Instead, I just sat there collecting my thoughts in silence.

“Ugh, girl you need to get here soon! I need a rail like mad,” A familiar Paris Hilton like voice said as the bathroom door swung open. “It’s fine, no one can hear me… I’m in the grungy ass bathroom. Can you just hurry? Let’s do some bumps.”

Slowly, I lifted my face from my hands as I realized who’s voice it was. As I stood up, I quietly unlocked my stall and let the door open on it’s own. There she was, staring at herself in the mirror as she talked on the phone. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the stall, staring at her in the mirror. Her eyes widened as she noticed me behind her in the mirror.

Jennifer slowly pulled her phone away from her ear and I watched as she hung up on whoever she was talking to, before slowly turning around to face me.


	59. chapter 58

"You hit me and I'll sue," Jennifer blurted out backing into the sink.

"I'm not gonna hit you," I spoke, clearing my throat. Jennifer pulled her brows together in confusion and I took a step forward, closing in on her, "I'm going to give you a piece of advice,"

Jennifer smirked, "Really? Cute. I have some advice for you too, Amber"

"Is that so?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I do. You should probably quit fighting a girl that your man fucked when you were gone. What happened Amber? I heard about it, wait, yeah, what was it again? Oh right! Poor little Amber, daddy get sick and die? Is that your problem?"

The corners of my pursed lips curled into a sly smirk, taking another step forward so that Our faces were literally only inches apart. I chuckled and leaned in even closer, "Here's my advice for you... Don't ever fuck with someone who no longer fears the consequences for their actions"

In the corner of my eye, I could see her bony hand reaching behind her for her purse. My throat became dry as I realized she was grabbing a pink switchblade from the inside of her purse.

She laughed faintly, moving her thumb over the switch on the knife, "I could say the same to y-"

Jennifer's sentence was cut short as left elbow slammed into the side of her face. I lunged forward, grabbing the wrist that was inside of her purse, holding the knife. It took all my strength to fight the knife free from her hand.

She spit in my face, giving herself the advantage to grab the knife and pop it open, slicing me on the shoulder. The blade of the knife was so sharp that it cut right through my leather jacket.

Gritting my teeth, I kneed her in the crotch as hard as I could and once she hunched herself over, I grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her face down on the bathroom counter where the sinks were.

My eyes widened and a gasp of horror escaped my mouth as blood splattered everywhere and Jennifer fell limply to the floor. I ran my fingers through my hair and began to pant frantically.  
"Oh God! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! I killed her!"

Before I could do anything else, the door swung open and in came a petite, white-haired, tattooed girl. She stared at me blankly before noticing Jennifer and frowning.

"Is she dead?!" She asked, finally showing some emotion.

"I-I-" I stuttered, failing to form words.

The girl quickly knelt down beside Jennifer and placed two of her fingers on Jennifer's neck and sighed in relief, "You're in luck, this whore ain't dead."

"Oh fuck..." I sighed in relief.

"That being said, we gotta get this fat bitch out of here before she wakes up. That cunt Wallis is here talking to Billy in the back," the girl added, staring at me wide-eyed.

"FUCK!" I spat, kneeling down beside her.

"Yeah, no fucking shit." She hissed, grabbing Jennifer by her underarms. "You gonna help or am I somehow gonna lift this fucking big bitch myself?"

"Big?" I asked, looking down a Jennifer. She was pretty screaming but a little bigger than the blonde and myself.

"We bring her through the bar, shit will go south, crack that window, we'll dump her out there. When she comes to, Wallis and her two officers will already be gone," she instructed.

I quickly did what I was told and cracked the bathroom window open, "Who are you?"

"Believe me, you'll know soon enough," she replied, grunting as she lifted Jennifer up. "Take her legs!"

"A name would be nice, we're about to dump a fuckin' unconscious body outside a window!"

She rolled her eyes, "Bitch, I'm doing you a fucking favor,"

I closed my eyes and took a deep agitated sigh, "Who the fuck-"

"Jesus Christ, it's Kori! Fuck, we have more important things to worry about!"

"Soon enough? What did you-"

"Grab. Her. Fucking. LEGS!" She shouted at me.

Meanwhile, Jennifer's female dealer had showed up and was arguing with Christy about where Jennifer was. My heart was pounding against my chest that It was like I could almost hear their voices outside of the bathroom clearly, overtop of the loud bar music.

"Amber's in there!" Christy shouted, "Not your coke fiend friend."

"Aren't you one to fucking talk?" The female dealer, Karla hissed. "That's my little sister, by the way."

Christy rolled her eyes as she approached the bathroom door, "I don't give a fuck if it's mother Mary, she better not be in the same bathroom as Amber if you get what I mean."

"She better not have done anything!" Karla shouted, kicking the bathroom door open and gasping, causing the blonde and I to drop Jennifer, which in turn somehow made Jennifer stir.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CUNTS DO?!" The girl shouted.

"Christy! Door!" Kori shouted. Christy - obviously somehow knowing Kori - listened and shoved the dealer inside of the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

"Lock's broken," Christy stated dully.

"I'm calling the cops!" Karla the dealer shouted.

"That'll be the last thing you ever do," Kori threatened.

"She attacked me," I partially told the truth, pointing at the bleeding gash on my shoulder.

Karla looked down at the knife that was beside Jennifer and gulped.

"Think carefully, you leave here and say anything, you'll be dead-"

Kori's sentence was cut short as Jennifer, who was now away pulled a small .383 handgun from her belt loop and slowly sat up, giving Kori enough time to react. Jennifer raised the gun, pointing it at me, but before she pulled the trigger, Kori tackled me into one of the stalls - saving me - from being shot.

Jennifer fired, missing the backside of Kori by a thread. Kori and I landed roughly inside of the stall. The bullet that was meant for me accidentally hit Karla in the throat.

"NO!" Jennifer screamed, dropping the gun as she watched Karla fall forward and gurgle on her own blood.

Christy reached around and pulled out the gun she had started to carry around recently, and without any thought, she shot Jennifer.

The room spun and my ears rang. Kori pushed herself up and shook me, "Amber!" She hollered, but yet sounded like she whispered it to me.

"Get up! We have to go! NOW!"

Christy gulped, "Amber! GO!  
Follow Kori out the window!"

I could hear people in the bar screaming and running out of the bar. Kori ran to the window and pulled herself up and out, "COME ON!" she shouted at me from outside.

"Go!" Christy insisted, dropping the gun.

"N-No!" My voice cracked.

"Kori's basically a fugitive and you gotta get home to Shaun," Christy panted, "GO!"

Jennifer's eyes were red and puffy from the tears pouring out of her eyes. She was holding her bullet wound with one hand and cocking the gun again aiming at Christy this time. Instead of running, I gambled and jumped up, grabbing the gun that was in Jennifer's hand and threw it across the bathroom so that she couldn't shoot at me or Christy.

"Amber!" Christy screamed.

"You aren't taking the blame for this!" I shouted.

"Fuck!" I heard Kori shout before the bathroom door was kicked in.

Detective Wallis and two officers ran in with their guns raised. Christy stared at me fully, slighting shaking her head at me for what I had just done.

"DROP IT!" Wallis screamed at me. I immediately dropped the gun. "BOTH OF YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!"

Christy and I both did what we were told and put our hands up. We were then instructed to get down on our knees and to shut the fuck up. The two officers with Detective Wallis put their guns to the back of our heads as Wallis cuffed us.

"Call an ambulance!" She screamed at one of the officers, noticing Jennifer, finally.

After that, everything was a blur.  
The paramedics rushed in, more police showed - controlling the crowd - and controlling Billy who was trying to get into the bathroom that we were in.

The paramedics took Jennifer out of the bathroom on a stretcher while the police cleared the bar out. Billy and his boys stayed, freaking out and swearing at the cops, getting threatened by the cops.

We were forced to stand and drug out of the bathroom. Christy smirked the whole walk from the bathroom to the squad car. I glanced at Billy - giving him a cold, murderous look as I passed. Billy's jaw tightened as he returned the look. Rafael appeared next to Billy and gave him a careless pat on the arm before handing him yet another business card,

"Well, Charlie's on board. Once you're done dealing with this, give me a call," Rafael said dully.

Billy didn't respond, he just watched as the police officers led Christy and I out of the bar.

Image

"Make this easy on yourself for your baby boy, Amber." Wallis pleaded, "I need to know everything. What happened, where Christy got the gun, and why you were all in there."

"I told you the truth," I said in a raspy tone. "She pulled a knife, sliced me and we fought until she dropped the knife."

"So you expect me to believe that Christy Brown and Karla Middleton just waltzed in right after?" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

I fiddled a little with the handcuffs around my wrists, "Yes."

"And Jennifer just up and shot her own best friend in the throat and then shot herself?"

I sighed, "Jennifer shot Karla."

"And Christy shot Jennifer, correct?" Wallis pressed, leaning forward again. "Right?"

"Amber... answer me. We know Christy shot Jennifer. Jennifer was able to give us a quick statement in the hospital after her surgery. So you can tell me the truth or you can go back to sitting in the holding cells for another twelve hours,"

"Then what exactly is it that you're asking me?" I asked, giving her a cocky sneer/smile.

"Where'd she get the gun?"

I cleared my throats and rested my cuffed hands on the table, "I want a lawyer."

Image

Billy sat on the edge of the bed, shirtless and a mess. Shaun was laying on the other side of the bed, making baby cooing noises and sucking on his own fist.

"Billy?" Megan called from downstairs, "I'm here now, just gonna bring in my suitcase!"

Billy pulled the cigarette out from his mouth and exhaled a cloud of smoke, glancing back at a content Shaun. He snorted before putting his cigarette out and leaning back to lay beside Shaun.

"I'm gonna get your mom out, kid. Just as soon as I can, I promise"


	60. chapter 59

Suffolk County Jail, Boston. 

Jail was everything you'd expect it to be, and then some. We weren't even that far away from the men, which was petrifying. If we're found guilty, we will both be moved to an actual prison for women, probably somewhere out of state. I try not to think about that, though, as the women here in this jail are mean, scary and ruthless enough as it is. I can't even begin to imagine how they are in an actual prison.

Normally, you spend a few days, sometimes weeks in jail and then released until your court date to determine if you're guilty or not... but since we're in here for murder, we're both doing thirty days before we're released until our court date.

That's only because our lawyers pulled some strings. But given the fact that Jennifer is lying and saying that I killed her friend, and since my fingerprints are on the weapon... I'm fucked.

"Why are you here?" I breathed, sitting down at the table across from Billy.

"Came to see ya,"

"I don't want you here." I quipped.

Billy leaned back in his seat and smirked, "Too busy makin' shower buddies or what?"

My eyes narrowed into a glare and I leaned in across the table, "I'm behind bars because of you! This isn't a fucking joke,"

"I didn't tell ya to go getting into a gun fight in a fuckin bar bathroom," Billy hissed.

Frustration set in and tears started to silently fall down my cheeks, and for a moment, I thought I saw Billy actually feel and show remorse.

"Where is my son?"

"Our son"

"Where is he?"

"He's at home with Megan and Jack,"

"My fingerprints were on the gun that Jennifer used to kill Karla. I'm going to prison, Billy."

Billy sighed and rubbed his temples, "No you're not, you didn't-"

"My lawyer is coming by in an hour to get me to sign Shaun over to-"

"What?"

I sniffled, "I want Megan and Jack to take Shaun and-"

"They're not taking him anywhere." Billy said flatly, cutting me off.

"Look at what I've done!" I exclaimed, glancing around to see other inmates and their visitors still talking and not paying attention to me, "I can't even be a mother, I'm behind bars because I was set up. My best friend shot Jennifer trying to protect me,"

"I got ya the best lawyer I could afford—"

"Even he says this doesn't look good," I cut in, quickly wiping away a tear, "My fingerprints were on the gun that killed Karla, Christy shot Jennifer and Jennifer is alive and telling a different story than what happened... I attacked her Billy, no matter how we look at it... I'm going to serve time,"

A hiccup escaped my mouth and I buried my face in my hands. My body trembled as I cried. I wasn't crying because I was afraid of going to prison— because I was, but I was crying because Shaun is at home wondering where his mommy is, while his fuck up for a mother sits behind bars.

"She'll tell the fuckin' truth," Billy assured me in a low tone.

I sighed and sniffled hard, "She's afraid of you, Billy. She's probably hiding out somewhere until court... she knows you know that she's lying to Wallis... she's never going to tell the truth,"

"And if she does?"

I rolled my eyes, "Which will never happen? I smashed her fucking face off of the sink,"

Billy clicked his jaw to the side in annoyance, "Just tell me what the fuck would happen,"

"Well, if she did - but wouldn't - but say she did, I'd have expensive fines, community service and probation, but no jail time," I responded, telling him what my lawyer had informed me.

He nodded slowly, deep in thought, "And the coke whore?"

"Shut up," I snapped.

Billy chuckled faintly, "Well?"

"That 'coke whore' saved my life. That coke whore took a bullet for me while I was pregnant with our son when fucking intruders came and shot the place up! That coke whore could be serving time alongside of me, when she didn't have to protect me, so shut your fucking mouth," I snapped in a hushed whisper.

Billy's jaw clenched, his nostrils flared and I could see his anger arise, "Ya better watch your fuckin tone—"

"Oh shut the fuck up, seriously," I hissed, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest, "I got a 250 pound dyke two cells over, just waiting for the first chance she can get to force me to eat her pussy, I went through a wooden railing and dropped from a flight of stairs - pregnant - tackling an armed home invader, not to mention; Charlie's 'boys' kicked the living fuck out of me and Christy a few months prior. You think I'm fuckin' scared of you? You think I'm just some fuckin' dainty bitch? Get fucked," I rambled, shaking with anger.

"Ya done?"

"Fuck you, I hate you."

"Good," He smirked.

"You son of a bitch—"

Billy leaned his head to the side and scratched his neck, raising his brows slightly, "Careful, ya might miss out on your two visits a week,"

"God! I'd be better off, Shaun, would be better off!"

"If what?" He asked in a low tone.

"If you actually would have died inside of that abandoned mental hospital. I wish you would have died."

Billy's smirked vanished. Pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek, I turned my head and blinked away tears of anger. Billy cracked each individual knuckle on one of his hands as he stared a hole right through me.

He shook his head slightly, "I didn't force ya to stay with me,"

"You shot Charlie and dragged me against my will and forced me to live in the house,"

"I did that for ya own safety during all that shit, you coulda left me instead of coming back."

"I found my dad dead, sorry if my brain was a little cloudy when I made the decision," I hissed back.

Sighing, I took a moment to gather my thoughts and suck up what little pride I clearly possessed and frowned in defeat, "I'm sorry... that was out of line—"

"Nah, ya right. Ya shouldn't be in here, not cause of this,"

"They took my engagement ring," I sniffled, becoming a hot tear-eyed mess yet once again.

Billy shook his head slightly, "You're bawlin' cause of that?"

I shook my head, "I miss my baby, I miss being a mom. I wanna go home, Billy."

Billy placed the palms of his hands on the edge of the table and pushed his chair out. My heart sunk knowing that meant he was leaving and I'd be stuck here. He walked around the table and knelt down beside me. The guard closest to us; squinted his eyes as he noticed Billy doing what no other visitors were doing.

"Hey, times up," he announced as he approached the table.

There was plenty of other inmates holding hands with their visitors and hugging them and shit. The only reason this guard was being a dick was because it was Billy Darley visiting. Billy had a past here, and I'm assuming this is out of spite.

"I love you, Amber." Billy said flatly, "I'm sorry."

His hand cupped one side of my face and I instantly placed one of my own over his.

"I'm sorry, I'm a fucking mess," I laughed as I wiped away my tears.

"I'll get you outta here, ya ain't goin' to prison. I promise." He promised boldly.

I flashed him a weak smile, "Protect what's yours right?"

"Always," he said softly, his thumb caressing over my bottom lip.

"Did ya hear me? Visitin' time is up, let's go," the guard repeated, rolling his wrist in a circular motion at me.

"I love you, please take care of Shaun..." I whispered, quickly planting a kiss on Billy's lips, "I'll tell my lawyer—"

"Come on!"

"Hold up a fuckin' second," Billy barked at the guard. He turned his head back over to me and stared me directly in the eyes, "Tell that lawyer ya changed your mind about the kid, you're gonna be comin' home and stayin' home soon."

I laughed in disbelief, "That's foolish thinking. I did this to myself... like you always say; 'If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be—'"

"—Tough," Billy finished the sentence for me.

Next thing I knew, I was being forced to stand up and shoved slightly towards the direction of the door back to the 'recreational' area for the inmates. Billy watched as I left, a blank expression across his face.

"Can I just go back to my—"

"Nah, lunch time. Ya don't wanna starve to death while in here, do ya?" The guard replied.

I shrugged, "I wouldn't be so lucky."

————————

Billy took slow strides across the parking lot, sighing as he approached his driver side door. Pausing, he pulled out his phone and clicked his jaw to the side as he dug into one of the back pockets on his jeans; grabbing the 'card' Rafael had given him.

He dialled the number and opened his car door, plopping down into the drivers seat as he waited for Rafael to pick up.

"Hello?" Rafael answered.

Billy cleared his throat, "It's me."

"Usually I'd ask just who the fuck it is calling me, but, since the showdown at The Four Roses, I figured it would only be a matter of time before you called," Rafael laughed on the other end, "Have you reconsidered?"

"I need a favour,"

"Tsk, tsk." Rafael said, pausing, "That's now how this works, Billy."

"The fuck do you mean?" Billy hissed in annoyance.

"You help me out, I help you out. I don't do favours," Raphael replied sharply.

"What do I gotta do?" Billy asked, getting straight to the point.

"I take it that fine piece of ass you got for a baby momma, isn't enjoying her stay in jail, is she?" Rafael chuckled. "I can help with that,"

"Exactly why I called ya,"

Billy could practically see the triumph smirk Rafael had on the other end of the phone conversation. He knew that whatever Rafael had for him, would benefit Amber in the long run.

"I'll make you a deal, Darley. I need you to do what you do best. In return, I'll help you," Rafael said flatly. "Sound good?"

Billy exhaled slowly, closing his eyes in frustration, "Yeah,"

"Alright, and what exactly do you need from me?" Rafael asked.

"That broad who got my woman put behind bars? She's lyin'... my kid's gonna grow up without a mom, that's a problem." Billy explained shortly.

"God damn man, you got some fuckin' issues," Rafael laughed causing Billy grit his teeth. "You want me to wipe the bitch or what?"

Billy shook his head, "Nah, ya can't do that. She's afraid of me and knows I'd probably kill her myself for this. Bitch is on the run... track her down and convince her to tell the truth,"

"Ahh, so you want me to get a few of my boys to make her shit herself into tellin' the judge the truth about what happened..." Rafael repeated, pursing his lips and nodded slowly.

"Pretty much,"

"And if that don't work?"

"Make IT work," Billy answered.

Rafael chuckled faintly, "Oh don't worry. This bitch will know that if she doesn't tell the judge what really happened, we'll find her, no matter where or who is protecting her."

Billy being Billy, never thanked him, instead he just exhaled a puff of cigarette smoke into the phone and waited for Rafael to continue talking.

"I got some cops on payroll, they'll find out where she is. Text me a name, and I'll let you know when I've sent my boys." Rafael added, "Oh yeah, and one more thing..."

"What's that?" Billy breathed.

"You'll be hearing from me soon, get a babysitter, you might be gone a few days." Rafael answered, hanging up on BIlly before he could he reply.


	61. chapter 60

Sunday morning, 23 hours before the trial hearing.

“How are you holding up?” Christy asked, plopping down beside me on the cement bench that I was at.

I shrugged, “Horrible,” I answered truthfully, “But I can’t show any kind of emotion like that… not here.”

Christy smirked, “This ain’t nothin’... wait until we go to prison.”

“Exactly why we can’t appear to be weak. Being skinny is our downfall, they’ll take advantage of that on the inside… I don’t know about you, but I ain’t prepared to eat some fat bitch’s pussy for the rest of my sentence,” I laughed in disbelief.

“You miss Shaun a lot, huh?” Christy asked, frowning as she already knew the answer. I appreciated the subject change.

I clicked my jaw to the side and nodded slowly, staring at all the other inmates outside smoking and getting exercise. Some of the females were just staring up at the sky, happy to be able to soak up some small amount of sunlight.

“More than I can begin to explain,” I said in a low tone, “He doesn’t deserve to have a mother like me-”

“A mother like you? You’re a great mom, don’t start that bullshit.” Christy cut me off.

“Bullshit?” I asked, turning my head to look at her and cocking an eyebrow, “Sorry you’re the only one I got to talk to,”

“And I’m here for you, but not if you’re gonna lie to yourself. You’re a fuckin’ good mom, we just… we’re in a shitty fucking situation….” Christy replied with a sigh.

“If by some God-given chance that we get out… I’m running.”

“What?” Christy asked in a hushed whisper as if someone was listening or something.

“Shaun doesn’t deserve this life. I won’t allow it.” I said boldly.

“You can’t just leave with his kid… do you know who you’re dealing with here?” Christy laughed in disbelief, shaking her head.

“He refuses to leave this shit behind. He has the shop, why isn’t that good enough?” I hissed.

“Because he’s a criminal, Amber. It’s all he knows…” Christy replied with a sigh.

I sighed in defeat, she was right, “I won’t keep Shaun from him, but I won’t allow Shaun to grow up to be Billy.”

Image

“WHO ARE YOU?!” Jennifer screamed as she backed into a corner, her face tear streaked and red from screaming and crying due to being terrorized.

The three masked men stopped a good distance away from her and spread out, almost like they were making room for somebody else to just walk into the house and deal with Jennifer. Jennifer’s heart raced, she couldn’t believe that this was actually happening to her while she was in Witness Protection care. Wallis had promised to protect her and didn’t come through.

Where were the officers of Wallis’s that were supposed to be guarding the house? Did the masked men kill them? What happened? What was going on? All of these questions raced through her simple bleach blonde head.

“HELP ME!” She screamed one last time, in hopes that the officers were still there.

Nothing.

Instead, in walked Billy and Rafael side by side. Jennifer gasped in a mixture of both fear and shock as Billy approached her and grabbed her by her arm, roughly yanking her up to her feet and slamming her up against the wall.

“You know why I’m here,” He said flatly, yet Jennifer knew that his blood was boiling just by how low his tone was.

“N-N-” She stuttered.

“Listen closely because this might be the only chance you get to hear it,” Billy warned. “You’re gonna go in front of that fucking judge and tell the truth about what happened, and you’re gonna leave out the part where she smashed ya fuckin’ caked up face off that sink.”

Jennifer sniffled and nodded slowly, gulping, “Y-Yes, O-okay, I’ll-I’ll do anything.”

“If you don’t, and you’re lying to me… I’ll be back… and next time you won’t get no warning,” Billy threatened.

“You kill me and they’ll know it was you,” Jennifer blurted out, suddenly gaining confidence. “Those cops you killed, you’ll be fucked and she’ll be behind forever, regardless if I tell the truth or-”

Jennifer’s sentence was cut short and replaced with a terrorized yelp as Billy’s fist slammed against the wall next to her head. His breathing was heavy and his nostrils were flared, his body was shaking with rage. Jennifer trembled and let out a small whimper, realizing that he wasn’t fucking around.

“You run, I’ll find you. You rat, I’ll find you. It’ll be me, and I’ll find you.” He promised rather than threatened.

“Those cops outside, can’t protect you.” Rafael stated, jumping into the conversation, “No one can. So do what you’re told.”

“Do what I said and you’ll walk away from any harm,” Billy told her as he glanced down out her stomach that was still bandaged and stitched from where she was shot, “Trust me, I’m a better shot.”

“Okay,” She whimpered, “I will, just… don’t hurt me.”

Billy sniffled and pulled back, storming out past the masked men and Rafael, leaving them there standing before Jennifer. Rafael sneered in disgust as he glanced around the room.

“You’re in a witness protection house, not a crack house, clean your life up,” Rafael snarled in disgust before turning to leave, his three men following behind him.

Billy was already by his car by the time Rafael and his boys strolled out of the house. Billy dug into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and pulling one out of the pack. He placed the cigarette between his lips and glanced over at Rafael who was standing there paying off two crooked cops that Rafael had under his wing.

“Good work boys, let’s get outta here.” Rafael said to the other three men.

Billy lit his cigarette and sucked back a drag as Rafael strutted towards him with a cocky smirk plastered across his face. He patted Billy on the shoulder, “Pays to be above the law.”

“Where am I going and how long? I got my kid.” Billy breathed, exhaling smoke from his nostrils.

Rafael glanced around, twirling the toothpick between his lips around, “Just a few hours away,”

“And?”

Rafael pursed his lips, “How about tonight?”

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, “Amber’s got court tomorrow... I gotta-”

“Well, looks like you better get gone then huh?” Rafael chuckled.

“What will I be doin’?” Billy asked in a flat tone.

“Like I told you before, you’re gonna be doing what you do best. Wiping problems clean off the face of the earth. There’s a biker gang that are causing me nothing but problems. They’re supposed to be meeting with us to exchange coke for guns… I want you to take out the leader, my boys will take out the rest…” He responded. “I’ll text you where you’re going and the meet spot.” He added before climbing into the backseat of the car that was parked behind Billy’s.

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke in front of him and watched as Rafael’s driver fired up the car and began to drive off. He waited until the car was no longer in sight before he got into his own and fired it up. Billy pulled out his cellphone and called a number that had yet to change since her promotion.

“This is Wallis,” She answered.

Billy ripped the cigarette from between his lips, “Jessica Wallis,”

“Billy Darley…” She sighed, “Just who I wanted to speak to.”

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“For the safety of your son-”

“My kid is fine.” He growled between gritted teeth.

“You’re aware that Amber could be given prison time tomorrow, right?”

“She ain’t guilty,” Billy retorted.

“That’s what she says, yup. Fingerprints speak a million words though, Mr. Darley.”

Billy flicked his cigarette out the window and stretched his neck from side to side, “They told you what happened-”

“Someone was killed, Billy. I got Amber’s fingerprints on the gun that was used to kill that girl got taken out of there inside of a body bag, and Christy’s fingerprints on the gun that nearly killed Jennifer. It doesn’t matter. Even if what they’re saying is the truth, they’re still going to be spending some time in the big house, alright?” She ranted. Billy let out a breath. “I’m sorry Mr. Darley, but you might want to consider finding someone who can care for your son after tomorrow-”

“What about me?”

“Excuse me?” Wallis questioned, knowing damn well what he just said.

“Ya heard what I said. Me for them.”

Wallis’s mouth bobbed like a fish in father for a moment as she tried to gather her thoughts, “What do you mean?”

Billy licked his lips, “I can lead you right to the vessel on the Mexican cartel that has made its way through this shit hole.”

“The Hernandez family?” Wallis questioned in a low tone, knowing that there were people under Rafael’s father’s pay right in that very police station.

“So ya heard of em’ then?” Billy asked with a smirk.

“Have I ever…” She laughed faintly, “How are you gonna do this without getting killed first? This is a cartel Billy, not just some side thugs like you and my brother.”

Billy smirked at her comment about him and Bodie.

“They’ll kill you if they suspect anything….”

“I know what I’m doing, I’ll call you back when I know the details.”

“Wait, wait… not so fast--”

“What?” He hissed in annoyance.

“What exactly is it that you want?”

“Ya right,” He started. “They’ll kill me if they suspect that I’m setting them up…”

“So? What are you going to do?” She asked becoming impatient.

“How many years would I be looking at if ya boys take me too?” He asked,placing another unlit cigarette between his lips.

“It depends what exactly we’re going to be walking into.” She answered honestly.

“Gun, maybe drug exchange....I’ll be apart of one of those deals,” Billy replied without hesitation.

“You’ll be in prison for-”

“What’s the shortest amount of time you can get me?” Billy cut her off and got straight to the point.

“Five years. Christy and Amber go home on probation and you go away for the shortest sentence I can promise.” She replied firmly.

“Even if that bitch keeps lying?”

Wallis sighed, “Even if that ‘bitch’ keeps lying”

Billy exhaled smoke, “Good.”

“Alright, so when do you plan on this taking place?”

“Like ya said, they’ll kill me if they suspect anything... I gotta do some shit for him,” He replied causing Wallis to sigh as she realized just what it was Billy was referring to.

“You got five days to get me something…”

“Wait, hold on,” Billy laughed, “I didn’t give ya my conditions yet.”

“What conditions?” She hissed.

“I want ten days with Amber and my son. On the night of the 10th day, you’ll have your ambush and me. Ooh, won’t that look good on ya resume,” He replied dryly.

“Well Billy, it looks like you have yourself a deal. However- if you fuck me around, I’ll throw her ass right back in jail and make sure she serves 25 years.” She threatened.

“Deal,” Billy said before hanging up the phone, “Fuck sakes…”

Image

Finally, my 30 days was up and the court hearing was set to be held this morning at 10:30. I’m surprised I wasn’t in a fight or bothered during my time. I mean, yeah, sure there was the odd sexual comments towards me from a few of the other girls but nothing I couldn’t handle. Heh, if anything, that shit is all petty shit compared to what I’ll be dealing with when I go to prison. If I go to prison, that is.

It’s a long shot, but maybe I’ll get lucky and for some God-given chance, Jennifer will tell the truth and the judge will believe that Christy and I didn’t kill that girl. If anything, Christy shouldn’t even be in here. She was protecting me… or I would have been in a body bag along with that girl Jennifer accidentally shot. I’m being blamed for killing someone that I never killed. Because let me tell you one thing; if I was guilty… both of them would have been dead.

Woah? Who am I?

That’s a question I’ve found myself asking a lot throughout the past 30 days. My thoughts, the way I react to things… who am I? I’ve changed. I know I said this before but… I’m actually afraid of what I’m now capable of doing. I’ve become cold… I’ve finally filled the shoes of Billy Darley’s woman and the expectations…

I’ve become him.

“Is there anything… absolutely anything you want to add to your story?” My lawyer asked, awakening me from my thoughts.

I shook my head, “No… I’ve told the truth countless times.”

“You’re positive?”

“I’m positive.”

My lawyer sighed, “Alright… are you ready?”

“I just want to get this over with…” I breathed a shaky sigh.

As I was led into the courtroom with my lawyer, Billy - who hadn’t slept and just got back into town from doing what Rafael asked - arrived just in time for the judge to make her decision. Christy and her lawyer were still speaking, giving me time to glance over at Billy and give him a fearful, nervous look.

“Miss Brown, did you or did you not shoot Jennifer Reid in order to protect your friend?” The judge repeated her question.

Christy glanced over at me before shifting her eyes over to where Jennifer was sitting with her lawyer. Christy leaned forward calmly, “You’re goddamn right I did.”

I closed my eyes and sighed an aggravated sigh. I knew Christy had too much “pride” to just be mature and cooperative during all of this. Billy glanced over at Wallis who was shaking her head in disbelief at Christy and how she was responding to the judge’s questions.

Finally, it was Jennifer’s turn to tell her side of the story.

The palms of my hands became clammy and a hard lump formed inside of my throat. My left knee shook uncontrollably and all noise in the room sounded like it was coming through some old radio. My stomach churned and I felt like I was going to throw up at any given second.

“What?!” Christy hissed out loud.

“Pardon me?!” Jennifer’s lawyer exclaimed.

“You fuckin’ kidding me?” My lawyer whispered under his breath.

Gasps from people sitting throughout the courtroom echoed. Christy’s face dropped, confused as to why Jennifer had just admitted everything. Detective Wallis dropped her mouth in shock and I shot my head up and stared at Jennifer wide-eyed, in complete shock that she had just told the truth. The judge even frowned, probably feeling like her time had been wasted. It felt like a dream like this wasn’t really happening. I almost needed to pinch myself.

“Fuckin’ told you!” Christy exclaimed excitedly as confusion quickly left her face and a smug look of satisfaction formed instead.

“Enough!” The judge demanded, “Silence in my courtroom.”

I turned my head and looked at Billy from over my shoulder. He was staring at Wallis who was staring right back at him and just as intense. She gave him a small nod before turning her attention back over towards the judge. He leaned back in his seat and cracked a faint but somewhat noticeable smug smile.

“I didn’t mean to shoot her!” Jennifer bawled, “I meant to hit HER!” She howled, pointing at me.

The judge rolled her eyes, “I'm dismissing this case... Miss Hume, you are released from custody, you may return with a bailiff to gather your personal belongings from the holding cells."

“Fucking eh…” My lawyer sighed in relief, giving me a pat on the arm.

“The same goes for you too, Miss Brown. However, there I am ordering you both to serve 100 hours each of community service.” She declared.

Tears of happiness poured out of Christy’s eyes. I smiled and stared up at the ceiling, quietly thanking a God that I wasn’t even sure was really there or not. Christy covered her mouth, embarrassed that she was crying in front of all of these people.

“Dismissed!”

Image

I didn’t even bother to gather the clothes that I was wearing the night that everything went down and I was arrested. Instead, I did what I had to do with Wallis and once everything was said and done and I was released, I immediately bolted out of the courthouse.

There he was, leaning against the passenger side door of his ‘69 mustang, waiting for me. Without any thought, I hurried down the cement steps and ran towards Billy, jumping up and into his arms. He picked me up off of the ground, giving me time to wrap my arms around his neck and he spun me around.

“I told ya,” He bragged as I sloppily planted kisses all over his lips, face and jawline.

“I know, I know” I sniffled, burying my face in the crook of his neck. “I missed you so fucking much.”

“I’m here…” He said softly, which was strange.

“Take me home, I wanna see Shaun immediately.” I demanded, pulling my face away from him to stare down at him.

Billy placed me down flat on my feet, “Let’s go home.”


	62. chapter 61

The vibration from my phone receiving an incoming text message woke me from my deep, much needed, slumber. Reluctantly, I rolled over and patted the mattress trying to find my phone. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I finally found it. I squinted my eyes as I checked to see who it was that was texting me.

“Out on bail, fresh outta jail, California dreamin’, when I step on the scene I’m hearin’ hoochies screamin’” Christy had texted.

I sighed and texted back, “You’re an idiot. Doin?”

“At the 4 roses, drinkin’” She texted back.

“It’s 10 in the morning….” I sent back for a reply.

“Your point? I just got out of jail... Suck my dick, I'm getting fuckin’ day drunk today.”

“Lol. You would. I’ll call you later.” I ended the conversation with before placing my phone down on the nightstand.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. How did I get here? Like… not in the bed but… how did I get back here? How am I not on my way to prison right now? Why am I still here? I should be packing up mine and Shaun’s shit and running as far as we can. But no, here I am… laying in bed, wearing Billy’s t-shirt, my hair a mess - lips slightly swollen from rough kisses - and my vagina is sore from getting fucked most of the night. Yay for ‘welcome home’ sex.

Speaking of which, where is Billy?

Slowly, I sat up in bed and looked around our bedroom. While I was gone Megan had kept up with the house cleaning, which was a relief in itself even though I could use some cleaning therapy. Cleaning rampages are the best way for me to deal with my stress.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I mentally forced myself to slip on some shorts and make my way out of the bedroom and face the day. Seether was playing throughout the house and I could hear movement in the kitchen. Quietly, I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where I found Billy - Shaun in one arm and a spatula in the other hand as he scrambled what appeared to be eggs.

He glanced over at me, “Mornin’”

A small smile formed from the corners of my mouth, “Hey…”

“Ya hungry?”

Plopping down on the chair at the table, I yawned as I sat one of my legs up, resting my arm on my knee, “Yeah, kind of.”

“Here,” he said as he handed me Shaun.

“Hi spunkin!” I cooed, kissing Shaun on the cheek and holding him tight, afraid to lose him again.

A plate of food was set in front of me and I smiled up at Billy, “Thank you.”

“You alright?” Billy huffed.

"I'm just glad to be home, so, yeah." I replied with a weak smile.

"You sure?" He asked dully.

"I will be." I replied truthfully.

Billy nodded slowly, taking Shaun again and sitting across from me at the table. Our eyes made contact and he stared at me wide eyed and nodded towards the plate of eggs, “Eat”

I rolled my eyes, “Is it poisoned?”

“If you can cook, I fuckin’ can,” He quipped with a smirk.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief and let out a faint laugh, “Yeah… that’s like saying that-” I paused to swallow, “-that I can do anything that you can, Billy.”

“Ya can,” He replied firmly, staring at me with a blank expression.

I frowned and stared down at my plate for a moment before staring back up at him and shrugging slightly, “Yeah… maybe.”

“Ya friend called”

“Huh?”

“Julia left ya a bunch of voice messages. She sounds like a cu-”

“Billy!” I hissed.

“What?” He hissed back.  
“You’re holding Shaun, watch your language!" I grumbled, glaring at him.

“You fuckin’ serious?” He laughed.

“What?! Yes, I am serious.”

“He’s a baby, he can’t fuckin tell-”

“Billy!” I exclaimed.

Billy sighed in defeat, “Fine, sorry.”

I cracked a smirk, “That’s a rare word to come out of your mouth.”

Billy grunted, trying to keep himself from smiling at my comment.

“She is… but, she’s probably moved here and wondering why she can’t get a hold of me or Christy,” I sighed, shoving the now empty plate of food away from me. “She’s gonna freak when she finds out…”

“Ya takin’ the kid to go see her today?” Billy asked curiously.

I shrugged, “I probably should. Test out that SUV you got me,” I smiled.

Billy nodded slowly, “Can ya find a sitter for tonight?”

I frowned, “I just got back… I’m not leaving him-”

“When he’s in bed, get someone to stick around here for a few hours, I wanna take ya somewhere.” Billy interrupted.

I raised an eyebrow slightly, “Okay?”

“We still havin’ dinner here tomorrow?” He asked dully.

“With everyone? Yeah… I miss everyone… I think it would do both of us some good to have our friends here together.” I answered.

Billy nodded and stared down at Shaun, “Don’t leave me.”

“What?” I asked taken back.  
“I told ya from the beginning, that I protect what’s mine and I’ll always do that, Amber.” He started, making me even more confused.

Is he on to me?

“Everything I do… everything I’m doin’, I’m doin’ it for you and the kid,” He continued. “I wouldn’t blame ya if you took off and never looked back… but I’m askin’ ya, not to.”

My heart sunk when he stared up at me and made eye contact with me finally. I could see the sincerity behind his blue eyes, and that was something that I’ve never seen in him before. He was vulnerable and I could tell. It almost felt as if it wasn’t Billy sitting before me. This state that he was in, just wasn’t like him.

“I promise you that this shit is gonna get better,” He added.

I exhaled a shaky sigh and pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek, “It won’t Billy… not with the life that you lead.”

“That’s comin’ to end soon…” He replied quietly, glancing down at Shaun, “You’ll see.”

An awkward silence invaded the room and it wasn’t until Shaun started to cry from needing his diaper changed, that Billy and I finally moved and said something to one another. He handed me Shaun and gave me a kiss on the cheek before staring down at me and sighing. I stared up at him and sighed back.

“I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you too…” I whispered.

“I’ll be back here at 8, alright?” He said before kissing me on the lips, “I’m taking Chop with me, alright?”

I nodded and watched as Billy went over to the screen door and whistled for Chop to come inside to follow him. I just stood there, watching. Emotionless and unsure what I should do. Just because I love Billy, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take this chance I got to do right for my son. But can I really do it?

“See ya tonight,” Billy called out.

My eyelids blinked back tears that threatened to pour out as Billy and Chop left the house, closing the door behind them. My heart sunk and I swallowed a hard lump in my throat as Shaun cried impatiently, needing to be changed. Billy’s promise of this being over soon played over and over in my head like a broken record as I choked back tears and stood there frozen in place.

“Yeah,” I breathed, a single tear running down my cheek, “...Bye”


	63. chapter 62

The SUV was the highlight of my day. It was clean, drove beautifully and most importantly, was safe for Shaun. The seats were leather, it was spacious, had awesome bass - not that I could use it with Shaun inside - but still. I was impressed, happy, and grateful for Billy getting this for me.

Shaun had fallen asleep on our drive to Julia's new apartment. I was still shook by everything that happened this morning with Billy and what he had promised, that I was actually glad Shaun was sound asleep so that I had some quiet time to gather my thoughts.

Julia was going to freak and demand to know where Christy and I were for the past 30 some days. I knew I'd have to tell Julia what kind of life that Christy and I now live, I just didn't want to this soon.

At least we're going to the beach, Revere beach to be exact. I've lived in Boston this long and haven't really bothered to take time to go and relax on one of the beaches that surround the city. I guess that's my own fault.

Sighing, I pulled up in front of the apartment building Julia now lives in, and waited, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel. My eyes shot up at the rear view mirror as I thought I heard Shaun stir a little bit. He was cranky and desperately needed this nap, or else I was going to be up every second hour of the night.

"Hey..." I greeted Julia as she climbed into the passenger seat of my SUV, "Shaun is sleeping—"

"I know," she quipped, shooting me a glare, "that's why I ain't yellin' at your sneaky mother fuckin' ass."

I sighed and began to drive again, "I said I was sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You both went m.i.a, didn't even bother to answer my calls or fuck all. I called your sister, ya mother, your other sister... no one knew where the fuck you went."

"Your mom's worried cause of Shaun." She added, glancing back at Shaun from over her shoulder.

"I expected this from Christy, her ass was probably on a coke binge. But you? You of all people? Really?"

"Fuck, Jewls!" I exclaimed, mentally kicking myself after and lowering my tone, "I said I was sorry. It's too much to explain—"

"There's a lot of traffic. We won't make it to the beach anytime soon, so start fuckin' talking." She demanded.

"I was in jail." I told her shortly but honestly.

"Excuse me?" She asked with her brows raised.

"We both were," I added, "You wanted to know the truth? Well, there it fucking is."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! Where was Shaun?!"

"With his dad, and my other good friend Megan and her boyfriend, Jack." I answered slowly.

"What happened?!" She exclaimed.

"A bad bar fight that turned wrong...horribly wrong..."

"A bar fight?" She asked, shaking her head, "You're a mother! What the hell were you doing in a fight? Let alone a bar fight?!"

"What kind of mother gets into a fight inside of some fucking dingy bar, and then ends up in jail for a month? I can't believe you..."

"Don't fucking question my parenting." I snapped, raising my voice.

"Well really! Grow the fuck up!" She hissed, staring out the window and shaking her head angrily.

Clicking my jaw to the side, I drove in silence, letting the shame I felt sink inside. No matter how I look at it, she's right. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

"You're right..." I said softly, exhaling a shaky breath. "You're absolutely right."

"You're goddamn right, I'm right."

"Just... shit isn't the same anymore... you'll understand once you meet Billy and the boys—"

"I can't fucking wait to meet this 'Billy', he sounds like a real fucking prize." Julia laughed sarcastically. "I'm a nurse, stupid. I read up on his file. He definitely ain't no 'cop' like you told your dad and family—"

"Then you probably have an idea of why my life is a little bit more complex than what I can tell you." I jumped in, cutting her off.

There was an awkward silence between the two of us, which made shit even more awkward when we got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Normally, I'd light up a cigarette and distract myself by listening to whatever the radio was playing. It was a trick I taught myself whenever Billy and I use to get into heated arguments back when we first got together. Sadly, I can't smoke right now. Shaun's lungs are more important than me struggling to cope with the shitty situations that I get myself in.

"You know how I am..." Julia trailed off, pausing to stare at me.

I laughed faintly, "Yeah, I do."

"So then you won't be surprised to hear that I did some asking around?"

I shrugged, "I expected as much."

"He's dangerous...."

"I know."

"This life is dangerous! For you, for Shaun—"

"I know," I breathed, glancing over at her, "Believe me, I know."

"Then why don't you get out?"

"It's easier said than done.... especially when he told me today that this 'life' is going to come to an end soon."

"End as in... not do what he does anymore? Or.. end as in... one of you end up in a body bag?" She asked, shaking her head again.

"I'm going to give him a chance to prove that this is gonna end..."

"Mmm, a drug dealing gang—"

"I'm more than aware of who he is, Julia." I snapped, cutting her off.

Julia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, "Y'all thought."

"Thought what? You're the biggest busy body I know. Of course you know everything."

Julia laughed, "Looks like your boo is more well known than you thought."

"Apparently."

The rest of the drive was silent. Shaun was finally awake but was content at least, cooing and making baby noises.

When we got to the beach, and after what seemed like forever trying to find an empty parking space, we were sitting on beach towels and enjoying ourselves. Julia was holding Shaun and talking to him while I was laying on my back, staring up at the blue sky.

"How are you not roasting?" Julia asked.

"I'm sweaty." I whined.

"Well no shit, you haven't changed into your bikini yet!"

"This is bullshit, it's not even summer yet and it's this hot out..." I continued to complain.

"I don't feel bad for your ass... who wears shorts and a hoodie to the god damn beach?"

I shrugged and sat up on my elbows, "Someone who makes poor life choices."

Julia caught the sarcasm in my response and shot me a glare before rolling her eyes and giving me a gentle kick in the leg. I smirked and laid back down, closing my eyes and fighting sleep that was desperately trying to win. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I felt like I could sleep for days.

"So dinner is at your place tomorrow?"

Yawning, I nodded for a response.

"You cook for and feed all of your friends AND Billy's employees?" Julia asked, pursing her lips.

"No, not everyone who works at the shop. Just our friends."

"Like who?"

"What an annoying, yet typical question to come from you?" I breathed, sitting up and crossing my legs, "Well, you're coming, Christy is coming, my friends Megan and Jack. Then there's Billy's best friend Bodie, and his friends Jamie and Spink. We'd invite the mechanics to join but... we're a little crazy and don't want our employees to dip because of it..."

"I would have dipped as soon as I found out who my boss was..." Julia mumbled.

"Then don't come, fuck." I hissed in defeat.

Julia sighed, "Fuck, okay, I'm sorry alright? I'll behave... and be... polite."

"That's all I'm asking..."

"That shit is not in my fuckin' nature and you know that... but I'll do it cause I love you." Julia added.

A smirk crept across my face, "Hey, maybe you'll try out this 'being nice' shit and end up liking it."

"Don't be so sure, bitch." Julia laughed.

"We're lucky he can't understand us..." I nodded at Shaun, "I just gave his dad shit for swearing in Shaun's presence this morning."

"You probably know what I want to say right now, but I won't." Julia replied, looking at the water.

I rolled my eyes and decided not to get her going by arguing or talking about the situation any further. So, instead, I just extended my legs out and let my toes curl in the sand.

"So what are you doing tonight?" I asked attempting to change the subject.

Julia, who was focusing on supporting Shaun who was sitting up in the sand, giggled as Shaun became wide eyed at the feeling of the sand on his bare feet. "Does that feel weird?!"

"Having fun, kiddo?" I asked Shaun, waiting for Julia to answer.

Julia chuckled, "He loves this!"

"—and not much, probably gonna go out for dinner with a work friend."

"A male work friend?" I pried.

"Maybe...." Julia chuckled. "Better than trying to convince Christy to hang tonight."

"Convince?" I questioned.

"You know damn well that bitch don't wanna 'put up with my shit'," Julia explained making quotations with her fingers, "So I'll just see her tomorrow at your place."

"Fair enough, she will probably show up drunk as fuck anyways..."

"And you can't drink, ha, mom"

I rolled my eyes, "I started smoking cigarettes again... when Shaun's asleep I sneak outside for a quick cigarette."

"Wow, you fuckin' rebel, you." Julia laughed at me.

"Meh, can't drink—won't drink— and it seems to relieve some sort of stress." I replied, putting Shaun's socks and shoes back on his tiny little feet.

"What about weed? Ain't no harm in smoking a joint here and there when Shaun ain't around," Julia suggested making me laugh, "hell, I do... hospital life is fuckin' stressful."

"I can't smoke dope, you know that. A few bowls out of the bong and I'm jumping dimensions and shit..." I snorted.

"Yeah, your ass becomes Doctor fuckin' Who when you're high." Julia giggled, nudging me in the arm.

We laughed and when we were finally done cackling amongst one another, we loaded Shaun and our belongings up and headed back to the crowded parking lot.

The drive back to Julia's was way less awkward than before, we talked and laughed like nothing was wrong.

"What are you doing tonight?" Julia asked as we approached her apartment building.

I shrugged, "Billy has something planned, I guess."

"Mmm..." Julia hummed, "fun..."

"Stop being salty and get out," I laughed.

Julia did just that, going around to the back seat and kissing Shaun on the forehead before crouching down to eye level from outside the SUV, "You always got me if shit goes south... ya know that right?"

I nodded, "Good. I'll see your ass tomorrow," Julia added before walking off, leaving me there to sigh in relief.

It's not that I was relieved that we were done hanging out for the day, but more so relieved that I was able to somewhat fill Julia in on what kinda life I have now. Maybe a part of me was also relieved that I do have someone out here that's going to be there for me if it ever came down to me leaving Billy. I hope that day never comes, and I hope Billy is right about this shit "ending".

I still don't know what he meant by that when he said it. How exactly does one end something that they've been forced into since they were young? This is the only life he's ever known, grown accustom to. I'd have to be a complete fucking idiot to actually believe that this shit is going to get better. Yet here I am, believing that it actually will and that Billy is serious about finally leaving this shit behind him.

For Shaun... for us.


	64. chapter 63

Shaun was sound asleep in his crib, Megan was downstairs laying on the couch watching some weird early 90’s cliche romance movie. Billy was outside with Jack having a cigarette, and I was misting my face with setting spray to prevent any of my makeup from running. I haven’t worn a full face of makeup since before I got pregnant, so I was going to do whatever it took to keep my makeup on tonight, especially after how long it took me to do my makeup.

A satisfied smirk crept across my face as I looked myself over in the mirror, “Not bad, not bad, if I do say so myself.”

Before I left the bathroom, I put all of my makeup away and cleaned up around the sink. Becoming a mom has made me become a clean freak. Billy hasn’t bitched about how long I’m taking to get ready yet, so I’m in the clear to clean quickly before getting dressed.

“Almost ready or what?” Billy called from downstairs.

Frowning, I sighed in annoyance.

Spoke too soon.

“Yeah, give me five to get dressed,” I called back, “For fuck sakes…” I muttered under my breath.

After what seemed like forever, I eventually decided on an outfit to wear. The outfit was “fancy”, probably too fancy for whatever it was that we were going to be doing, but, fuck it, I decided to wear it anyway.

Carefully, I held my perfectly straightened hair - that took a half hour to achieve - and pulled on a red tank top. Then, I pulled on a black, above the knee, pencil skirt. I stood in front of the full length mirror in our room and pursed my lips, impressed at what I was seeing. I clean up well.

Finishing the look, I slipped on my infamous black pair of heels that I had worn the night Billy and I first hung out by ourselves and made out on the hood of his car. A small smile formed on my face as I reminisced about that night.

“Ready,” I called out as I made my way downstairs.

Megan whistled as I reached the last step of the stairs. She sat up on her elbows and stared me up and down, “Damn, mom, you clean up well.”

“Oh God… not you too,” I groaned at the ‘mom’ nickname. “Thanks though,”

“Can you even walk in those?” Megan asked, nodding down at my feet.

I clicked my jaw to side, “Yeah, surprisingly.”  
"Shaun's bottles are in the fridge, heating instructions are—"

"Amber... I know. I took care of him while you were gone, remember?" Megan reminded me, staring at me wide eyed.

"Sorry," I breathed, "you're right."

"Go, have fun...he will be fine." Megan assured me.

"Thank you again, Meg. You've spent all this time with him just to do it again tonight—"

"Amber... he's fine, everything is fine." Megan reassured me, "Go!"

Nodding slowly to myself, I finally did just that. Just as I was about to open the front door and step outside, the door swung open and in came Jack with a warm, welcoming smile on his face and his blonde hair styled messy. There was always something about Jack that made you realize that there is still decent human beings around the world. He just seems… I don’t know… so… so innocent? So young and naive? Yet been through so much?

Hell, I’m young and naive if anyone here is. I’m almost twenty two years old and going on thirtyfive with all this stress and shit I’ve been through. I may still be young but I feel like I’ve been through enough that it’s mentally aged me a lot older than I actually am.

“You look nice,” Jack said with a smile, awakening me from my thoughts.

I flashed him a small smile back, “Thanks Jack.”

“Billy’s outside waiting,” He stated, even though I already knew that.

I nodded and without saying a word, I headed outside and carefully made my way down the front steps and over to Billy, who was sitting on the hood of his car smoking a cigarette. He looked casual, yet nice. His hair that I’ve grown to absolutely adore on him, was similar to Jack’s, just shorter but styled similar. He was wearing dark washed jeans and a grey long sleeve shirt that he had the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, as per usual.

Billy’s eyes glanced up from the ground at me and he slowly pulled the cigarette he smoking from his mouth and cracked a smirk. I retaliated by narrowing my eyes into a glare, “What?”

“Nothin’,” he murmured, exhaling smoke from his mouth, “Those fuckin’ heels.”

“You remember them, I take it?” I asked, pressing my tongue to my cheek to prevent me from giggling.

Billy nodded, flicking his cigarette down onto the ground and placing his hands on my hips, pulling me towards him, “Of course I do.”

“I seem to remember being the one on the hood of your car,” I said softly before placing a kiss on his lips, lightly biting his bottom lip before pulling back, “-in these heels.”

“You’ll be on the hood of this car again if you keep that up-”

“Nope! C’mon, let’s go wherever it is that you wanted to take me,” I teased, pulling away from him completely and walking around to the passenger side door of his car.

Billy jumped off the hood of his car and shook his head slightly as he pulled his keys from his back pocket, “Drivin’ me fuckin’ wild dressed like that.”

“I better be, shit took forever to get this dolled up.” I laughed, climbing inside of the car.

Billy plopped down in his seat and started the car while I carefully placed an unlit cigarette between my lips and slowly hit it. I rolled down the window and carefully inhaled a drag before removing the cigarette from in between my teeth and exhaling a cloud of smoke out the window. He glanced over at me and cocked an eyebrow at me, shaking his head slightly.

“What?” I asked in a murmur, finally noticing that he was watching me.

“Fuck are you doin?” He asked, referring to how I was smoking.

“This is the only expensive liquid lipstick that I own. Me, being a dumbass, forgot to bring it with me before we left. So, now I have to be extra careful…” I explained, staring at him wide eyed in expectancy.

Billy shook his head and stared back at the road, “You don’t need that shit anyway,”

I rolled my eyes and sighed melodramatically, “I know that Billy, but I also LIKE to wear it sometimes.”

“Beautiful how ya are,” He added in a muffled tone as he lit another cigarette.

My cheeks flushed red and I suddenly felt shy, “Thank you… I love you.”

“Do ya?” He asked, shifting his eyes from the road onto me for a brief moment.

I paused what I was doing and drew my brows together in confusion, “Obviously…”

It’s not like I was lying… After all, I do love Billy with my whole heart. I just… I just can’t continue to love him the way that I do and accept everything that he does. I know you’re suppose to love someone unconditionally… which I do, but… I need to think about Shaun and his safety and wellbeing. If things don’t change… I will leave.

No matter what I have to do… I’ll do it.

“Just askin’,” He said softly.

Chewing my bottom lip nervously, I glanced out the window as I spoke, “I never stopped.”

“This shit that happened… everyone’s taking it differently,” He said shortly.

“Yeah well, I’m just fine…” I lied.

God, I was turning into the best fucking liar around.

“Christy’s back on the shit,” Billy muttered, staring straight ahead as he spoke.

“How bad?” I asked with an annoyed sigh.

Billy flicked the ashes from his cigarette out the window before answering me, “Bad.”

“For fuck sakes…” I growled, reaching into the backseat for my purse.

I knew she would, hell, if I didn’t have Shaun I’d probably be right beside her snorting thick lines up my nose and moving my jaw around like a sketcher. Christy especially… she’s been through so much and lost so much this past year. Cocaine seems to help her escape the reality of it all. I’m just thankful that it’s only cocaine she turns to and not something like heroin or crack…. I guess I can at least be thankful for that.

“Gotta cope somehow,” I stated dully, flashing the bottle of whiskey that I had just pulled out from my purse.

Sighing again, I opened the bottle of whiskey and held it to my lips, tilting the bottle upwards as I closed my eyes. Once I opened my eyes, I looked over to see Billy staring at me for a moment before looking back at the road.

"You can handle it straight?" He asked dully.

"Is that a question or a statement?" I asked, Billy ignored my question. I sighed in defeat and rolled my eyes, “Yes… I can… sometimes…”  
Billy didn't say anything, he didn't even look at me. Instead he just continued driving. Eventually, I started to become bored. Wherever we were going sure was a long drive because it started to feel like I was in this car for forever.

I screwed the bottle cap to the whiskey back on and dug through my purse for my cigarettes, struggling as I was now getting a little drunk.

“I don’t know where it is that we’re going but… can we stop and get cigarettes? I have one left.” I asked in a mumble, pointing at the unlit cigarette placed between my lips before I rolled down my window.

“You’ll see, almost there,” Billy replied, tossing his pack of cigarettes into my lap.

A huff escaped my lips as I leaned back in my seat and rested my feet on the dash, pursing my lips as I glanced over at Billy who instantly shot me a glare and shoved my feet off the dash. I glared at him and glanced down at my feet, making sure he didn’t accidentally knock one of my heels off as he did that. I glared up at him and he shot me a warning look.

“A lighthouse?” I questioned, cocking an eyebrow up as we pulled up, “Isn’t this private property?”

Billy shut off his lights as he slowly approached the gates with a big red sign that warned: ‘Private Property’. Billy shrugged and put the car in park, “What’s ya point?”

“My point is!” I started, pausing as Billy got out of the car and opened the unlocked gates. That in itself was strange to me that the gate was unlocked, but I never questioned it. I waited until he was back inside of the car before I continued, “My point is… I’m on probation and I shouldn’t even be out of the house this late, let alone trespassing on private property!”

“Fuck it,” Billy shrugged, driving in.

“Yeah it’ll be ‘fuck it’ alright when I’m shipped off to prison,” I growled.

“C’mon.” Billy instructed,completely ignoring me and climbing out of the car.

I sighed and followed his lead, “It’s dark!”

“Good observation,” Billy called out as he led me down a narrow dirt path.

“This is so fuckin’ illegal, Billy…” I reminded him as I cautiously followed behind him, trying to avoid rolling an ankle in these heels or face planting in the dirt. “Not to mention, I’m fuckin’ lit…”

“Lit?” Billy asked, staring back at me.

“Jail lingo,” I huffed. Billy laughed faintly and continued down the path. “Sweet, I feel like we’re on a couple’s episode of Mantracker!”

Billy ignored my comment and stopped in his tracks near the edge of the cliff, the lighthouse in the near distance. Eventually I caught up to him and my mouth instantly fell agape in awe at the view below and above us. The stars were bright and vibrant, lighting up the night sky beautifully, a luxury that the city lights tend to keep hidden. Below us was a clear view of the water and how the moonlight reflected off of the water, leaving me in complete admiration.

“Pretty, huh?”

I nodded, “That’s an understatement.”

“Me and Joe use to come out here with a case of beer and some joints, get high and get wasted,” Billy started, sitting down on a rickety wooden bench that looked like it’s been there for decades.

I sat down beside him and just stared at him, paying close attention to his body language. It was moments like this, where he was opening up to me and not being so short like he normally is, that I fall a thousand times more in love with him than I already am.

“He’d get so fuckin’ greened out and drunk that he’d end up always pukin’ his guts out every  
time we came out here.” Billy continued, shaking his head and chuckling faintly. “Fuckin’ Joe,”

“I miss him…” I breathed, staring down at the ground.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side and placed one of his hands on my thigh, caressing the skin with his thumb, “Yeah… me too.”

“What are we gonna do?” I asked softly, afraid to look him in the eyes.

“About this shit?” Billy asked in his normal deep tone. I nodded and finally shot him a look, frowning. “I wasn’t kiddin’ earlier… I’m gettin’ out of this shit.”

“Everything?” I questioned in disbelief.

Billy stared off into the distance and clicked his jaw to the side, “Somethin’ like that.”

“We can’t help who are… can we?”  
Billy let out a faint laugh, “Guess not.”

“The shop’s business has sure picked up since you taking over… that’s a good sign. Money isn’t tight anymore-”

“Money was never tight,” Billy cut me off.

I frowned, “It was when it came to the money being legal. Sure, the drug money was nice… but look where it’s gotten us? Look what we’ve lost-”

“I fuckin’ know, alright?” Billy hissed, silencing me instantly. I looked away from him and Billy scratched the side of his jaw, “Just… trust me alright? I got a plan… ya may not end up liking it, but it’ll work”

“What plan?” I asked, turning my attention back over to him.

“You’ll know when the time comes.” He replied shortly.

I sighed in annoyance, “Back to being short with me… God, you’re so fucking frustrating sometimes! I just got out of fucking jail and you lay it on me that shit is suddenly going to be alright and then when I fucking ask how you’re so sure about that, you instantly go back to being a fucking mime and not speaking. Like for fuck-”

My jaw fell agape as Billy silenced me by placing a ring in the palm of my left hand. It was bigger and fancier than the one he had given to me when he proposed to me on Christmas.

My eyes shot up at him, “B-Billy-”

“Since the fuckin’ pigs took the other one from you, figured you’d like this one better.” He answered casually.

“You didn’t have to get me another one Billy… this is… wow… thank you-”

“Wanna get hitched?”

“What? You already proposed to me-”

“Married.”

“Well, yeah?”

“This weekend?”

“What?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes or no?”

“Why so soon-”

“Do ya or not?”

I gulped, my mouth fluttering open, “Y-yes?”

“Then it’s settled, we’ll get hitched somehow,”

“But… nothing is planned… what… are you crazy? Am I drunk? Is this even happening right now?” I asked, reaching for the bottle of whiskey from inside of my purse and twisting the cap off before chugging back whiskey.

“Bones got hitched with my mom in someone’s basement, it ain't hard to get the marriage license,” Billy spoke dully.

“It’s called justice of the peace…” I told him, coughing slightly as the whiskey burnt the back of my throat.

Billy took the bottle from me and took a swig while I reached around him and grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lighter that was sitting next to him on the bench. My hands shook uncontrollably as I struggled to light the end of the cigarette that I had just pulled from the pack.

“Right now?” I asked turning and staring at him. “Why so soon?”

“What? Don’t wanna marry me?”

I frowned, “That’s not what I meant, Billy. Just why so soon? Why this weekend?”

“Why not?” Billy asked before wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand.

“You’re actually serious about this?” I asked, kicking my heels off carelessly and standing up and standing in front of him.

Billy looked up at me and placed both of his hands on my hips, pulling me down into a position where I was straddling him on the bench, “I just wanna make sure ya mine,”  
“I always have been yours,” I reminded him, placing a sloppy kiss along his jawline.

“Good, remember what happened last time?”

“Way to kill the moment…” I grumbled turning my face away from his.

I could feel his hot breathe against my skin, the smell of whiskey and cigarette smoke coming off of his breathe. His facial hair tickled against my neck as he left a trail of sloppy kisses along my jaw

“I’m just saying… God help the mother fucker who tries to take you from me-”

“Alright, I’m suddenly no longer horny. Thanks for that fucking Billy the terminator,” I mumbled, climbing off of him.

Billy laughed which made my heart warm cause it was rare, “Ya sure about that?”

“I’m positive,” I grumbled, catching my breath in my throat as his hand ran up my skirt.

“Positive?”

A soft moan escaped my mouth, “N-No”

“Come on,” He instructed, sliding his hand out from under my skirt and taking my hand, helping me up and leading me back up the trail.

“Wait!” I exclaimed, “My heels!”

“We ain’t leavin’ yet anyways, don’t worry” Billy replied with a sly smirk.

“Car?” I asked seductively as I strode past him and ran my hand along the hood of the car.

Before I got the chance to say anything else, I was pinned against the car by Billy and our mouths were locked.

Just like the old days...


	65. chapter 64

After we were done at the lighthouse, Billy and I decided to head to a 24 hour diner to get something to eat since our “date” mostly consisted of fucking in the backseat of his car, the hood of his car, hell… everywhere on that car. Not to mention, he took me by surprise when he declared that we’d be getting married soon.

Billy and I sat across from each other in a booth in the corner of the diner. Me, shoving my face full of eggs and bacon while Billy, who was eating nothing, traced his finger along the ring of his coffee cup as he stared at me with a blank expression as I gulped down my food. In my defense, I hadn't ate all day and it had been a very long time since I've had a good breakfast such as this. Even if it was the middle of the night, I'm enjoying my plate of bacon and eggs.

"So who's that blonde chick that tried to help me escape?" I asked as I swallowed my fork full of food.

"Who? Kori?” Billy asked, lifting a brow as I nodded, “Surprised you don't fuckin know her," Billy replied as I scoffed.

"How would I know who-"

"She's big around these parts." Billy interrupted, “She’s Charlie’s woman.”

Nodding and shrugging I assumed that was all to ask about him considering I knew Billy well enough that he wasn't going to give me the full details about this Kori girl. Especially since she’s Charlie’s woman… another thing I didn’t know about when I slept with him. Strangely enough, I just wanted to continue to enjoy my food and just simply have a normal, rare, but normal conversation with Billy.

"You happy?" Billy asked shortly.

Taken back and at a loss for words, I looked up at him as I set my fork down on my plate and swallowed hard before nodding my head ever so slightly. I should have known that he could sense how off I’ve been since getting out. Billy stared down at his coffee as I pushed my now empty plate away from me so that the waitress could take it whenever she did decide to come back around to our table. I bit my lip as I waited for Billy to say something, but surprisingly, he didn’t.

"What about you? You happy?" I asked breaking the awkward silence.

"Yep," Billy replied before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Let me rephrase that..." I said itching my the back of my neck. "Are you happy with everything?"

"You know me." Billy replied, “I’m good.”

“You don’t have to act so badass around me…” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “Besides, you don’t look all that tough right now anyway.”

“That so?” Billy asked cooly.

I smirked, “Not with a neck full of hickeys.”

Billy cracked a familiar smirk-almost-smile that could make me melt.

“Sorry ‘bout the shirt,” Billy said, nodding towards my now ripped tank top caused by his impatience.

“Yeah thanks!” I snorted, almost giggling, “Now I look like some cheap whore that you use to bang.”

“Nah, ya look good,” Billy mumbled before he took another drink from his coffee, leaning his head back and completely finishing the cup.

“Well, glad you think so…” I mumbled, staring down at my lap.

“This really what you want?" Billy asked, shocking me.

"...Yes" I whispered, uncertainty dripping from my tone. I kept my eyes looking down at my lap to avoid awkward eye contact.

I knew he was questioning me. I knew he was on to me.

Billy sighed and set his cup down on the table. I stared up at him and frowned. It was the truth and I was sorry that I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to everything. I just got out of jail, not to mention, I just cheated prison time. How can he expect me to come running to him in open arms, excited to return to the same bullshit and raise our son in the same bullshit.

"I’m trying Billy..." I winced staring straight up at him.

“I just hope you’re right about all of this ending soon… ‘cause… I don’t wanna have to wake up to a phone call one day to come down and identify your body…” I whispered as I looked away from him, trying to hold back tears and keep my composure inside of a diner.

“If it doesn’t?” He challenged.

“I will leave with Shaun.” I promised rather than threatened.

Billy’s eyes darted directly on me and before he had the chance to say anything, a middle aged woman appeared at our table with a fake, yet somehow cheerful smile plastered across her face. Her lipstick was bright and cheap and she looked drained, ready for her shift to end. I sympathized with her. I hated working at the diner that I had worked at when Billy and I first split.

"Bill together or separate?" The waitress asked, interrupting our awkward conversation.

"Together." Billy muttered as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing the waitress money.

"Thank you." I said shortly. Billy nodded, acknowledging my gratitude.

Once we were out of the diner and in his car, he drove slower than he usually drove. I stared at his knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel so tight. He was either right pissed or hurt... or worse, both.

“I was serious in there,” I finally spoke, purposely testing the waters to see just how far I could push him.

Stupid? Stupid is my middle name… apparently.

Billy ignored me for a few minutes as he sucked back on a cigarette. It wasn’t until he exhaled a cloud of smoke and tossed the cigarette out the window when he finally spoke.

“You go anywhere and I’m gonna fuckin’ lose it,” he told me, his voice low, and I swallowed hard. I believed him.

Image

By the time we got home and I had a shower and got my hair dried, it was already almost 2 in the morning. Megan and Jack were sound asleep spread out across the two couches we had in the living room. I didn't want to wake them up, especially since they did me a solid by watching Shaun, so instead I just slipped a pillow under both of their heads and placed a thick, warm blanket over each of them.

"Gonna be tired tomorrow..." I yawned, plopping down beside Billy on our bed.

He was shirtless, wearing nothing but his jeans as he scanned through his phone. The claw marks that I had left all over his back were now clearly visible and I could just imagine the stinging feeling he's gonna feel when the hot water from the shower hits his back in the morning.

"Who ya texting?" I asked curiously, cocking an eyebrow when Billy was quick to lock his phone. "Who's that?"

"No one." He said plainly.

My stomach churned, assuming the worst, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Billy breathed, raising his brows in annoyance.

"Okay..." I reluctantly let it go, pretending to climb under the covers, "Aha! Who's Rafael?!"

"Just business," Billy grunted.

"Business... yeah..."

"What?" Billy huffed, standing up to strip from his jeans.

"Nothing," I grumbled, pulling the blankets up and rolling over so that my back was facing him.

I was still pretty much on edge by how he responded to me finally telling him that I’ll be leaving with our son if he doesn’t change. What the fuck did I honestly think was going to happen? How did I honestly think Billy Darley of all people, was going to respond to THAT?

Needless to say, I pretended to fall asleep almost instantly. I must have laid there just staring at the wall for what seemed like an hour before Billy finally climbed out of bed and left the bedroom. Sighing in relief, I rolled over and slowly sat up in bed, biting my lip as I tried to pinpoint exactly where he was in the house.

When I failed to do so, I slid back down under the covers and finally doze off. What was suppose to be a full on slumber soon turned into a quick nap as the sound of hair clippers awoke me. Curiosity got the best of me, causing me to sit up in bed again and groan. I did not want to still be awake, and tomorrow was going to be a bitch trying to stay awake for my son and cook for everyone that was coming over.

But, I still managed to force myself out of bed and slowly made my way over to the door, quietly opening it before tip toeing down the hallway to the bathroom. The door was closed, but the light from inside of the bathroom was shining from under the door.  
I took a deep breath before pushing the door open ever so slightly, revealing Billy. His back was facing me, and he was shirtless. I watched slowly as he ran the clippers/buzzers over the last strip of hair on his head. When there was no more hair on his head, he turned off the clippers and placed them down on the bathroom sink before running his hands over his freshly shaved head.

“Billy?” I whispered, causing him to glance over his shoulder at me.

Just like that, the gang leader was back, and I knew deep down that something was wrong…


	66. chapter 65

When I awoke, Billy was just about to leave. Shaun was awake, and naturally I changed, fed, and then bathed him before I started my day. I spent most of the morning cleaning and chugging back Redbull energy drinks in order to keep myself awake. Luckily for me, Shaun was in a good mood and peacefully watching his baby einstein videos, so I was able to get a lot of the cleaning done. It also helped that both Megan and Jack stuck around to hang out with Shaun and take care of him so that I was able to get stuff done for tonight’s dinner party and wedding announcement.

Billy was in and out of the house all morning, causing me to become aggravated. I knew better than to start with him or question him about what the fuck was going on. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and took my frustrations out on the scrub brush that I used to scrub the floors until they fucking sparkled. I don’t know how some people are able to sit still when they’re pissed off, stressed, or sad. Cleaning has to be one of the best ways to help with all of that. Then again, so is screaming your head off and throwing some right hooks until you feel better.

My cleaning rampage came to an end around noon when Billy left for the millionth time - taking Jack with him this time, and Christy showed up with groceries. The sides of her head were freshly buzzed and her bangs were backcombed and pinned back while her extensions and the rest of her hair were pulled back in a tight ponytail. I knew she hadn’t been to sleep yet, and if she had, she definitely had just woke up not too long ago. I knew this because of how she was dressed, wearing sweats, a hoodie, and silver aviator sunglasses. That was code for “Don’t fuck with me, I’m hungover - but not hungover enough to leave the house without my precious hair being done - hungover”.

“Sup cunts?” Christy laughed cynically, dropping the bags of groceries down onto the kitchen table.

“You partied all night and you’re here at noon… with groceries?!” Megan gasped, causing Christy to roll her eyes.

“I was up at ten, ready by eleven and done grocery shopping before noon, for your information,” Christy drawled.

Megan smirked, “New boo kicked you out early huh?”

“No,” Christy growled, “He came with me AND dropped me off here.”

“New boo?” I questioned, coming into the kitchen, spraying fabreeze into the air.

Christy waved her hand in front of her face, “Jesus, Mrs. Clean, lay off with that shit.”

“It smells good,” I shrugged, “Now who’s the new boo?”

“You go through more men than I go through tampons…” Megan muttered, leaving the kitchen to go see why Shaun was fussing.

“Sorry, I’m still HURTING” Christy called out, emphasizing the ‘hurting’.

“Well?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her suspiciously.

“He’s just a dude,” Christy replied shortly, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from cracking a sly smirk.

“Who is it now?”

“You don’t know him,”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Well?”

“I met him at work,”

I put the fabreeze down on the table and frowned, “Oh God Christy… You met him at The Four Roses?”

“Don’t you be judging me, your ass met Billy there!” She giggled.

I frowned again, “Yeah but you were already dating his brother!”

“She dates everyone’s brother,” Megan called out from the livingroom.

“I’m grieving over Joe! Suck my tits!” Christy shouted back.

“So who is he?”

“His name is Hank,” Christy breathed.

“Greatttttttttt…he’s some old trucker drunk from the bar! Great catch!” Megan sighed.

“When am I gonna get to meet Hank?” I asked, trying to be a supportive best friend.

“Whenever you want, tonight when he picks me up,” Christy replied, scratching the back of her neck.  
“He can come for dinner, Chris” I suggested, pursing my lips.

Christy clicked her jaw to the side and nodded slowly, “Nah… I.. uh, don’t wanna set Billy off.”

“Set Billy off?” I cocked a brow, “How?”

“Just cause of Joe… ya know? It’s too soon still… Billy doesn’t even know about Heco.” Christy replied dully.

“True…” I sighed in defeat, knowing how frustrating Billy can be when the topic of his little brother is brought up.

“Besides, we got bigger issues to deal with…” Christy mumbled, and I sighed.

“Julia…” We both said at the same time.

“Is she really that bad?” Megan asked as she brushed by me to get Shaun a bottle.

“I can do that Meg-”

“Nah it’s fine, you’re busy,”

“Thanks… and no, she’s not… she’s just-”

“A stick in the mud who isn’t about this life.” Christy finished my sentence for me.

I turned my head to look over at Meg, “She’s… outspoken…”

“That’s one word for it…” Christy mumbled, putting the groceries away.

“She knows to play it cool,” I assured her, “Especially around Billy. She’s not dumb, she did her research,”

“Of course she did,” Christy shook her head, “Wouldn’t be like her not to go snooping the fuck around.”

“She will keep her opinions to herself,” I huffed, “At least until Billy isn’t around.”

“Well… that’s a relief,” Christy said dully.

“Yeah… except, I’m not sure how she’s gonna react to what I have to tell everyone…” I winced, watching as both Megan and Christy slowly turned their attention onto me.

“Tell us what?” Megan asked, beating Christy to the punch.

“Billy wants to get hitched…” I admitted.

“We know…”

“No,” I laughed nervously, “I mean… soon… as in… this weekend soon.”

“What?!” They both exclaimed, “Why so soon?”

I shrugged, “Beats me.”

“A part of me figures that it’s because he can sense how I’m acting around him…”

“And he thinks this will keep you from running off?” Christy laughed in disbelief.

“No… yes? Maybe? I don’t know!” I admitted in defeat.

“This is kinda exciting though!” Megan smiled, trying to be the positive one here.

I sighed dramatically, running my fingers through my hair, “Let’s just… let’s just get through dinner and then I’ll tell Julia…”

“Tell Julia what?” Another voice questioned.

My eyes shot over towards the door where Julia had just came in from and was putting her car keys inside of her purse. Christy glanced over at me and closed her eyes, knowing that this was about to turn into a fucking shit show.

“Oh… hey!” I laughed nervously.

Julia narrowed her eyes at me, “Tell me what?”

“I’m out here working like proud mary and you bitches are keeping secrets? What’s up now?” Julia demanded an answer.

“I’m....”

“You’re?...”

“I’m uh, getting married this weekend.” I admitted.

Julia’s facial expression instantly fell into a look of disappointment. If she was frowning any harder, her face would have permanent lines. Julia pursed her lips and glanced over at Christy, looking her up and down before turning her attention over to me. I could just see how badly she wanted to flip out on me, but, surprisingly she was keeping her promise and keeping her cool.

“You sure this is what chu want?” Julia simply asked, placing a hand on her hip.

Licking my lips and shifting my eyes away, I eventually threw my hands up a little and nodded, “Yeah… yeah it is.”

“If you’re having second thoughts and you’re not even married yet-”

“It’s her fuckin’ life, alright?” Christy groaned in annoyance.

“I know it’s her fuckin’ life, but she’s also got Shaun’s life to think about,” Julia snapped back at Christy.

“Jesus, you’re giving me a fuckin’ headache and you haven’t even been here for ten minutes…” Christy barked, rolling her eyes.

Julia shot a glare at Christy, ignoring her comment, “You know somethin’...” she started, pausing to turn her attention away from Christy and onto me, “You guys have been my best fuckin’ friends for years… and regardless of the STUPID shit you two get yourselves into, I’m still here… and I always will be. Supportin’ and lecturing your dumb mother fuckin’ asses.”

“Ah fuck here we go…” Christy exhaled a shaky sigh, going to the fridge to get something to drink.

Julia held up a slender finger with the nail painted a ruby shade of red, “That being said,”

“That being said…” Christy mocked Julia in a whiney tone.

“-I’ll always have your backs, regardless of what you guys do in life.” Julia added and just as I was about to open my mouth to say anything, she started to speak again, “However… if either of you idiots land yourselves in jail again… I ain’t playin’ when I say that I’ll beat the fuck out of you both.”

I let out a faint laugh, “Deal.”

“I wish a bitch would,” Christy challenged, almost jokingly… but I wouldn’t put it past her if she was being serious.

“So we cool?” I asked as I made my way over to Shaun’s swing to see him looking up at me with his bright blue eyes.

A small smile spread across his face as we both made eye contact. He was making cooing noises and flailing his little arms around excitedly. My heart instantly became warm as I knelt down and unbuckled him from his swing and scooped him into my arms. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck and I closed my eyes for a brief moment, indulging in the moment.

“Of course we are,” Julia answered as she made her way over to me, gently nudging me on the shoulder wanting me to hand her Shaun, “Hi munchkin!” Julia exclaimed once Shaun was in her arms.

“Who’re you?” Julia asked, nodding over at Megan who was standing there awkwardly.

“Megan,” Megan replied, holding her hand out.

Julia stared down at her hand for a moment before adjusting Shaun in one of her arms so that she could shake Megan’s hand, “Julia.”

“Heard a lot about you, nice to finally meet you,” Megan breathed awkwardly.

Julia nodded, “I can only imagine.”

Megan clicked her jaw to the side and raised her eyebrows slightly, “Yup.”

“Fuck!” Christy hollered from the kitchen, taking the awkwardness off of Megan.

“What?” I asked dully.

“I forgot to grab steaks!”

“Fuck, really?” Megan called out, “How did you manage to fuck that up?”

“Oh shut up, can one of you go get the steaks? We need like fuckin’ 20 of them.”

“20?!” Julia gasped, “How many fuckin people are coming?”

“Well… let’s see,” I started, slightly giggling along with Meg, “Me, you, Meg, Christy, BIlly, Spink, Jamie, Bodie, Jack, and… well, Shaun, but he doesn’t eat steak obviously… and Chop. Can’t forget my pooch, he likes steak.”

“So one of us has to go out to a busy grocery store and get ten steaks?” Julia questioned, annoyance dripping from her tone.  
“Not me, I was already there. I’m gonna start peeling potatoes,” Christy stated.

“And I’m gonna stay here and watch Shaun, looks like you two are goin,” Julia nodded toward Megan and I.

I shrugged and looked at Meg, “I don’t mind, you down to come along for the ride?”

Megan nodded, “Yeah let’s go.”

With that, Megan and I said our goodbyes and gathered our purses before making our way out to my vehicle and both lighting up cigarettes since Shaun wasn’t in the vehicle.

“Good thing for fabreeze,” Megan said as she exhaled a cloud of smoke out the window.

“No kidding…” I mumbled before sucking back a drag off of my own cigarette.

“So that’s the infamous miss Julia, huh?” Megan asked with a smirk.

I nodded slightly as I flicked my ashes from my cigarette out the window, “Yup, real charmer as you can tell.”

“Oh fuck yeah, she’s a gem. Looks like she could kick the fuck out of seven men if she wanted to,” Megan giggled.

I smirked, “Believe me, she probably could.”

“She’s gorgeous though… holy shit.” Megan exclaimed, shaking her head slightly, “and that hair!”

“She’s mixed, you should see her parents. You think Julia is gorgeous? Her mother and father are knock outs, even at their age.” I told her.

“I bet, I mean look at her. You’d think from afar that she was just some sweet and innocent model or some shit,” Megan replied with a faint laugh.

“My favourite kind of girls,” I huffed, “The ones who look innocent but will fuck you up without hesitation.”

“Like you?” Megan questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

I laughed, “Pretty? Me? Sure. Tough? Nah…”

“I’ve seen you whoop some bitches a few times, you got your shit handled,” Megan complimented, “And you’re more than pretty, c’mon.”  
“Well, thank you. But I definitely could be tougher… especially with the shit we all deal with on a daily basis,” I sighed.

“I feel you…” Megan muttered, looking away, “Jack’s become the new Joey in Billy’s life… he’s changed, Amber.”

“Jack?” I asked, already knowing the answer. Megan nodded, “I’ll agree… Billy definitely has taken Jack under his wing.”

“They look alike…” Megan said softly.

I winced and tilted my head to the side, “Yeah, I see the resemblance, kind of.”

“Jack’s adopted, Amber.”

“I know?”

“...Does Billy’s mom have other kids?”

“She’s dead… but, I don’t think so? I don’t know. Billy doesn’t really remember much of her, she was gone most of his life.”

“Exactly…”

“That’s kind of a far fetched thought, don’tcha think?” I asked.

Megan shrugged, “Nothing surprises me anymore,”

“Well, there’s always DNA tests… but Billy definitely won’t be down for that. If anything, he’d just get pissed off if I brought up his mom and her second life,” I replied.

“I’m serious though,” Megan started, pausing to take one last drag off her smoke before throwing it out the window, “he’s become the new Joey… Billy seems to be protective of him. Jack notices that, hell, we all do. It’s changed him, he’s… well, he’s different. Not so timid and shy,”

“He won’t end up like Joe, Meg.” I said flatly, “Believe me… everything will be fine.”

“You sure?” Megan questioned, “Are YOU even okay?”

“I will be.” I answered shortly, pretending to focus on my turn into the grocery store parking lot.

Megan stayed quiet as I found a parking spot. I gathered up my purse and wallet and slowly exited the vehicle, locking it out of habit even though we were in the nicer part of Boston. Megan went and grabbed a cart and waited for me by the store’s entrance.

“Ready?” Megan asked dully.

I nodded, “Yeah?”

“You seem off now,” Megan stated.

I laughed, “Hey, I’ll be fine. It’s grocery shopping, let’s go.”

“You know what I mean…” Megan grumbled.

I shot her a warning look, “And you know what I mean. I’ll be fine.”

Image

Billy’s day was both busy and stressful, but luckily for him, Jack was there to help him get all the shit he needed done before he ‘leaves’. Billy had finally informed Jack what was going on and what his expectations that he had for Jack were going to be. Eventually, Billy finally told Bodie and the others what was going to happen and that his days of freedom were slowly coming to an end.

Of course, Bodie flipped his fucking lid. Four years? A deal? Billy ratted? To Bodie’s detective sister that he doesn’t get along with?

After a huge discussion and Billy losing his temper and a physical fight breaking out between himself and Bodie, things were laid out and ready to go. Of course Bodie wasn’t fucking happy, and neither was Billy… but this was his only option that he had to keep his family safe.

“We got the license ready to go, y’all just need to get a witness - me - and a priest, but I found one who’ll marry y’all on saturday at 1, that good witchu, dawg?” Bodie announced, making his way across the shop and over to Billy’s desk.

Billy nodded, “Yeah.”

“This some fucked up shit, man…” Bodie sighed, shaking his head.

“Seein’ Billy Darley get tied down?” Spink asked, trying to crack a joke.

“Nah fool, seein my boy go to jail over some shit like this!” Bodie exclaimed.

“I gotta do what I gotta do,” Billy said coolly.

“And what the fuck are we supposed to do if this spic mother fucker finds out you’s the one who sold him out? What if he comes for blood, dog? Ain’t nobody gonna be here to do shit!” Bodie exclaimed.

“He won’t,” Billy said flatly, “That’s why I’m goin’ away.”

“We had Bones here to keep shit in line last time you went away, man” Jamie finally joined in, “What do we do now?”

“Same shit we’re doin,” Billy replied. “It’s legit business, honest business. Make sure the mechanics are paid, taxes are paid and shit will be good. Business hasn’t been this good here since I was fuckin’ ten years old,”

“True, true.” Spink agreed, “It’ll be nice not havin’ to worry about a cop bustin’ us.”

“Yeah… and hell, the money we’re makin’ now is a lot better than what we were making sellin’ drugs for Bones,” Jamie also agreed.

“So we goin’ straight legit now, huh?” Bodie asked.

“There a fuckin’ problem with that?” Billy barked.

Bodie shook his head, “Nah man… just ain’t used to it, is all.”

“Well you’ll get used to it,” Billy said sharply.

“Does Amber know?” Jack asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Billy scratched the side of his neck before flicking his ashes from his cigarette down onto the cement floor, “Not yet.”

“So you goin’ marry her ass, then two days fuckin’ later gon’ get yourself put behind bars for a few fuckin’ years? What if she dips? The fuck we do then?” Bodie asked.

“She won’t,” Billy assured them.

“Man… you got a lot of faith in that broad,” Bodie snorted.

“I’ll be lookin’ after her,” Jack piped up.

Jamie folded his arms across his chest and nodded, “Me too, I’ll keep her and the kid safe.”  
“All of us will, Billy!” Spink exclaimed excitedly - higher than a fucking kite.

“You know I got your back, dog. You also can bet I got Amber and ya son’s back too, always. But what if she pulls some shit after this and leaves? You want us to hunt her down?” Bodie questioned.

Billy shook his head, “She won’t. She knows better.”

“I’m jus sayin’....”

“Well quit just fuckin’ sayin’,” Billy hissed in annoyance.

“The car, this shop - this business, ya fuckin’ house! Everything is in her name once you go away, dog.” Bodie reminded him.

Billy exhaled an agitated breath, “And Jacks,”

“Jacks? You fuckin’ kiddin me man?!” Bodie exclaimed, clearly insulted.

Billy shoved his chair back, gliding across the cement over to the garbage bin, picking it up and throwing it towards Bodie’s direction. Two empty bags of cocaine along with what appeared to be a burnt spoon flew out all over the ground, “Yeah, because you can’t fuckin’ stay clean for longer than a week at a time!”

“Aye.. that’s cold bro, ice fuckin’ cold!” Bodie hissed.

“Well,” Billy started, rolling his hand in a circular motion, “At least now ya know if she pulls anything, that your money comin’ in to buy ya fuckin’ drugs won’t get cut off,”

“Aight… aight… Just damn dude… this is really the only way?” Bodie questioned, lowering his tone.

Billy nodded slowly, sitting back down on the chair, “The only way.”

“Don’t worry Billy, we got this shit…” Jamie reassured him, giving him a stern pat on the shoulder, “I’ma take off with Spink, we’ll see ya at your place for dinner later.”

“Awe shit, I forgot about that. I’ma head out too, get some drinks in me before headin’ over, what she cookin?” Bodie asked, placing his hand on his stomach.

“Fucked if I know,” Billy replied shortly with a shrug.

“Aight man, see ya at dinner,” Bodie said with a wave before following Jamie and Spink out of the shop.

Billy rested his elbow on the armrest of the chair, holding his head in his hand. Jack made his way over to the mess, kicking it into a small pile so that someone could sweep it up later and put it back into the trash.

“You alright, man?” Jack asked, breaking the silence.

Billy lifted his head and nodded slightly, “I’m cool.”

“I appreciate all this shit man,” Jack started.

“Don’t worry about it,” Billy said a muffled tone as he lit another cigarette up.

“When you break what’s going on to Amber?” Jack asked, pulling out his own pack of cigarettes from his back pocket.

Billy exhaled a cloud of smoke before answering Jack’s question, “Dunno.”

Jack, unlike the others, knew better than to test Billy’s patience by prying at him with a bunch of fucking questions that Billy himself didn’t even know the answers to. So instead, Jack just nodded and lit his cigarette.

“Can’t wait for food man,” Jack laughed, trying to strike up conversation.

“Yeah, what are we havin’ Billy?” Rafael called out, suddenly appearing.

Billy closed his eyes for a second to exhale both smoke and a sigh of aggravation, “Whatcha need Rafael?”

“Just came to see my favourite Darley,” Rafael replied with a sly grin, “Shaved your head again, eh? Should try an undercut like me, next time. Hm.. nah, this look ya got makes ya look tough. Keep it.”

“What the fuck do you want?” Billy asked, getting straight to the point.

“Aw, c’mon man. We’re friends now, right? Is it so hard to believe that I’d be checkin’ up on you? Especially when you don’t fuckin’ answer my texts?” Rafael quipped.

“Been busy,” Billy lied.

“Yeah? make sure you ain’t busy on monday.” Rafael said boldly, emphasizing on the word ‘Monday’. “I drove by your house, shin dig going on?”

“Dinner,” Billy corrected.

Rafael pursed his lips and nodded slowly, “Well alright, what better time than to introduce me to your old lady,”

Billy’s anger began to rise, but he knew he had to play it cool, “I take it you’ll be joining us.”

“That an observation or an invitation?”

Billy lifted his brows, “Both.”

“Sure, why the fuck not?” Rafael chuckled slyly, making Billy want to punch him out.

Jack narrowed his eyes at Rafael, “Then be there at six.”

Rafael turned his attention over to Jack, “You. Why don’t I know you?”

Jack shrugged, “Jack.”

Rafael held out his hand, “I’m Rafael.”

Jack reluctantly shook his hand and nodded, “Pleasure.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, you brothers or what?”

Billy shook his head, “Nah.”

Rafael cocked an eyebrow and did a double take, “You fuckin’ with me?”

Both Billy and Jack shook their heads.

“I’m adopted,” Jack mumbled.

“Well someone’s momma got around cause god damn,” Rafael chuckled, “Anyway. I’ll catch ya both at six, nice meeting you James.”

“Jack,” Jack corrected.

Rafael smirked at Jack before turning and heading for the exit, “Monday, Billy!”

Image

“Well, we did it. We managed to get all the steaks and then some. Now we just need to get some liquor and we’re golden,” Megan said proudly.

I smiled, “Look at us go.”

“Want me to help put the groceries in?” Megan asked.

I shook my head, “Nah, if you wanna whip over across the street to the liquor store and get some beer and a couple bottles of whiskey, that’d be great.”

Megan nodded, “Sure, no problem. Be back in a few!”

“Get me some smokes!” I called out after her, causing her to spin around and raise her eyebrows at me in expectancy, “Pleaaaaaaaase,” I added.

“That’s better!” Megan called back at me.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled to myself as I opened the back of the suv and started to unload groceries. I got two bags of groceries into the back and was about to put the third bag in when the bottom of the bag tore apart and some of my groceries fell to the ground.

“Fuck sakes!” I hissed, kneeling down and gathering up the packaged food that had fell. I went to reach for one of the apples that had rolled away a little bit, and paused as my eyes landed on a pair of black high heel boots.

My eyes lingered up at Kori, who was standing before me, staring down at me.

“Kori, right?” I asked, slowly standing back up and putting the unbagged groceries into the two other bags that were already in the back of my SUV.

She pressed her tongue against her cheek and looked over the groceries I had purchased, “Don’t tell me I have to teach you how to shop for proper steak too?”

I rolled my eyes, “Nope.”

“How’s it feel to be a free woman?” She asked snidely.

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear before proceeding to put more groceries into the back, “Feels good. Thanks… for your help that night, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it,” She replied, handing me another bag of groceries, “You know, I almost felt bad that you ended up getting stuck there. Then I realized that jail would probably be good for you, ya know, toughen you up a bit.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, stopping and staring at her.

“Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. So listen.”

“Well, that’s great but I’m in a rush,” I cut her off.

“This shit will change you, Amber.” She told me, “It isn’t no fucking walk in the park, let me tell you that. Petty shit like Billy fucking that stupid whore back at the Four Roses? Let it slide. What they do when we aren’t around is what they do. You’re his woman, and that’s all that matters.”

“Not wanting him to fuck around on me whenever I’m not around isn’t petty,” I muttered, brushing past her to grab the last bag of groceries from the cart.

Kori raised her hands in defense, “Hey, that’s fine and all. But this is just how it works.”

“I’m more than aware how this shit works,” I snapped, slamming the back of the SUV shut, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”

“If that’s true then you know that running away isn’t an option,” Kori stated, making me stop dead in my tracks and look back at her, “Especially with his son.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Kori said firmly, “You better toughen the fuck up, because if you run, he will find you.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?” I asked, becoming angry.

“Does it?” She challenged, folding her arms across her chest.

“You think I’m scared of Billy?” I asked, clearing my throat.

Kori chuckled faintly and smirked, “You should be.”

“Are we gonna have fucking problem?” I asked, failing to hold back my temper. My hands were shaking and my blood was boiling.

Kori leaned forward and lowered her voice, “If you try to pull any shit or try to take his son away from him, it won’t be Billy that you have to be afraid of.”  
“Are you threatening me?” I asked in a low tone, trying my hardest to keep myself from hitting her.

“That baby is the only blood that he has left. I’ve never seen Billy like this before, he’s trying to better himself for his son. Be damned if I’m going to watch some weak bitch who played with fire and suddenly can’t handle it, take his son away from him.”

“I can handle this,” I assured her in a low tone, anger seething from every word.

“Good,” She replied, pursing her lips and nodding slowly, “but you remember what I said.”

“I don’t take threats from some poorly bleached blonde cunt like you,” I hissed.

Kori smirked, “It’s not a threat… it’s a promise. Try me and I’ll wipe that pretty face of yours off the fucking earth,”

Before she could say anything else, I stormed off over to the driver’s side door and climbed in, slamming the door shut behind me. Megan was making her way over here from across the street, carrying a 24 pack of beer in one hand and a large brown bag full of liquor in the other.

“Oh and Amber? One more thing,” Kori said as she swung open my door.

“Leave me the fuck alone!” I shouted, ripping my seatbelt off to get out and knock this bitch out. But before I could do anything, she acted fast and shoved me back against my seat.

“If you ever fuck Charlie - my husband - again, I’ll break both of your fucking knees,” She threatened firmly before pulling away from me and placing her hand on the car door handle, “Nice talking to you.”

My chest heaved in and out as I slowly tried to calm myself down. Kori disappeared amongst the cars and people in the busy parking lot. I had half a mind to get out and find her and try and fight this bitch, but I knew deep down that this girl meant business and I wasn’t about to do anything or say anything.

“Amber?! What the fuck?! Who was that?” Megan exclaimed, gasping for air as she tried to catch her breath from the full on sprint she had just made getting over here.

I nodded slowly as she got in, “Just a friend.”


	67. chapter 66

The rest of the afternoon was spent setting up for tonight’s dinner party. Christy and Julia were actually getting along and to my surprise Christy was spending most of the afternoon looking after Shaun so that Megan, Julia, and I could make the salads and prep the BBQ - that was surprisingly in good condition - for the steaks.

Spring had definitely arrived. While it was damp and the grass from the snow drying up gave off a distinctive weird smell, I loved it. It was warm enough outside that you didn’t need a coat, yet still chilly enough that you needed a sweater.

“Need help?” Julia called out to me from inside the house.

“Nah, I got it,” I replied, shaking my head slightly to wake myself up. I let out a shaky breath and knelt down to get the bbq ready.

“You alright?” Christy asked, stepping out onto the deck, lighting a cigarette.

I nodded, “Yeah why?”

“Megan said she seen you in a heated argument with a blonde outside the grocery store…” Christy started in a choking like voice caused from speaking while inhaling smoke, “was that blonde Kori?”

I cringed at the sound of her name, suddenly becoming pissed off yet once again. Not at Christy, and really not even at Kori, more so at Billy. Did he send that bitch after me to remind me what would happen if I tried anything?

“Yup,” I breathed, slightly grinning at the fact that I just managed to fire up the bbq on my first attempt, “She’s somethin’ else, ain’t she?”

“She was like Joey’s best friend, they were always together… even after shit with Billy and Charlie went south and they had to be secretive about their friendship,” Christy explained.

“So they were fucking?” I asked, leaning back and staring at Christy wide eyed.

Christy giggled, “Nah, they were more like brother and sister.”

“What’s her deal with Billy?” I asked dully.

“I don’t know… who knows… he wasn’t really… a good person back when she knew him,” Christy winced.

“He isn’t a good person now,” I mumbled.

“Hey, he’s your husband. The fuck is going on?” Christy scolded.

I frowned, “You’re right. That wasn’t fair to say… I’m just bitchy and not exactly thrilled that a couple days before my ‘wedding’, I get threatened by some chick that he knows,”

“She was always nice to me… she doesn’t seem all that bad,” Christy winced again.

“She can fuck off and mind her own business,” I hissed, slamming the bbq lid shut.

Christy rolled her eyes and smirked, “Don’t worry mom, you’re still queen bee here.”

A smirk formed from the corners of my mouth as I stopped next to Christy and nodded slowly, pursing my lips, “Time I start acting like it? Huh?”

Image

Julia and Megan were bonding and getting along, Christy was surprisingly doing a good job bbq'ing the steaks and we all were sharing laughs and stories about our lives to one another. It was a wonderful time to say the least, almost like we were all old friends and new eachother for years, which for Christy, Julia, and I... we did.

Shaun was getting fussy, so while Megan and Julia set the table and Christy was outside bbqing, I dressed Shaun up in a tuque and jacket and carried him around the yard, humming songs to him.

"Amber! Is that the baby?!" A familiar child's voice called out, startling me a little by catching me off guard.

Kid Billy, my next door neighbour.

"Oh hey kid! Where have you been?" I asked, casually making my way over to the fence.

Billy grinned excitedly before hopping over the fence and plopping down on his feet beside me, "I just got back! Is that the baby?! What's his name?"

"Shaun. Back from where?!" I asked, slightly worried as I was starting to wonder where he had went for so long.

"Ah... dad got busted having metha in the house. Long story short, the pigs took me away and put me in with some stinky cat lady who'd flip if my elbows were on the table."

"When did this happen...?" I asked softly.

"You guys were gone for a long time when it happened. Thought you moved or somethin'," he replied with a shrug.

"So you're back here?" I asked, chewing on the inside of my bottom lip as I glanced up at his house.

"Yeah, mom only had to serve a small stint, she's out now and doin' way better now that my dads in jail and can't hit her anymore," he replied honestly and casually, like this was something normal that just happened everyday in his life, making me sad and worried.

"Is she clean?" I asked, not caring that I was speaking to an eleven year old... because this eleven year old was eleven going on twenty.

"He's so cute!" Billy the kid gushed, "Where's chop?"

"Billy takes him to work with him," I breathed.

Kid Billy frowned, "That sucks... you can call me Will, by the way."

"Will?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Billy is short for William, I prefer Will. My dad use to call me Billy... I hate it." He explained, scratching the back of his neck.

"I like Will." I stated with a smile.

"Is your Billy's name really Billy or William?" He asked as he smiled at Shaun, who was cooing and making baby noises.

I shook my head, "No, it's just Billy."

"You gonna be around?" He asked, glancing up at me.

I cocked an eyebrow, "I sure hope so kid. And you're a lot smarter than you lead on,"

"Hey... beats Shaun growing up to be like me," he frowned.

"Like you? A smart kid? I'd be honoured," I replied with a wink.

He laughed and shook his head slightly trying to push his bangs out of his line of vision, "Thanks Amber, wish my mom was like you."

"How old do you think I am?!" I fake gasped.

"No, no! I mean... you're just.. you know what I mean!" He got all flustered.

I smirked and nudged him, "I know."

"Well, I better get going before my ma gets pissed. It was good seeing you and baby Shaun."

I nodded, "Same! Glad to hear you're doing better now,"

"Hey Amber?" He called out before pulling himself up onto the fence.

"Yeah?"

"Can we hang out again someday? You know? Like we did when you got me new shoes? But with Shaun and chop?"

I smiled, my heart slightly breaking for this kid who was born into an unfair lifestyle that my own son may grow up in, "Of course."

Image

By the time all of us got dinner ready, everyone was finally showing up. Jack and Billy were the only two who were running late, but it wasn’t an issue because we were all getting along so well, sharing laughs, eating appetizers and having drinks - except me - that it didn’t matter.

“So you Julia huh?” Bodie asked Julia, plopping down on the chair beside her.

Julia, who’s legs were stretched out and ankles hanging off of another chair, casually turned her head to look Bodie up and down. She scoffed/laughed and played with a strand of her long, naturally curly hair, “Correct.”

“You single Julia?” Bodie asked, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together.

Julia twirled a strand of hair around her finger and clicked her jaw to the side, “You see anyone here with me?”

“So is that a-”

“Yes, I’m single. No, I’m not interested in fucking you,” She cut him off, making pretty much all of us burst out into laughter.

“Damn you’re ice fuckin’ cold, girl” Bodie sighed, shaking his head lightly, “How you gone do me like that when you don’t even know me?”

“What’s your name?” Julia asked casually.

“Bodie,” He replied.

“Bodie?” Julia asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“See, you god damn cold as ice!” Bodie exclaimed, cracking a smirk.

Julia went to say something but was cut off by Billy and Jack suddenly appearing after being absent for so long. My eyes shot up over at Billy and our eyes locked on one another as he just stood there, tense and in deep thought.

Jack made his way over to where Megan was sitting, quietly introducing himself to Julia as he sat down next to the two of them. Bodie was mouthing ‘what’s going on?’ to Jack, only to get a shrug and a wince for a reply from Jack.

Before I could even say anything, Billy made his way over to where I was sitting at the table with Shaun asleep on my chest. He sat down on the empty chair beside me, resting his arm on the back of my chair, exhaling a deep breath through his nostrils. His body was tense and uncomfortable, just like how he use to get when Bones was around hollering at him.

“Hey…” I greeted him in a whisper.

“Go put him to bed,” Billy instructed firmly, clenching his jaw.

“Why? He just fell-”

“Just do it…” Billy said in a low, flat tone.

I didn’t want to start an arguement with him, especially not in front of Julia or all of these people for that matter, so instead I just slammed Shaun’s now empty bottle down on the table and pushed my chair out before carefully storming upstairs with Shaun.

Now what’s his fucking problem?

Gently, I placed Shaun down in his crib and hummed softly as I turned on his mobile. A faint smile appeared across my face as Shaun stretched in his sleep, luckily giving me the chance to change his diaper. Once I was done, I tossed the diaper in the garbage bin and placed both of my hands on the side of the crib, hunching over and planting a soft kiss on Shaun’s forehead.

“Goodnight sweetheart, I’ll see you when you wake up,” I whispered, taking a moment to admire my beautiful baby boy.

I silently made my way back out of the room, praying that everyone here tonight wouldn’t get too rowdy and end up waking Shaun up multiple times throughout the night. Not that I cared, as I love spending time with him… but it would also be nice to have him sleep through most of the night.

“Ah, there she is! Jailbird!” An unfamiliar man called out as I made my way down the stairs and over to the table where Billy was. “Ah, I’m just fucking with ya,”

“Pardon me?” I asked, sitting down back on my chair and scoffing.

“Rude of me?” The bearded man with the undercut asked, “My apologies. But I wasn’t wrong though, was I?”

Billy exhaled a deep breath again and placed his hand down on my knee, lightly squeezing it, signaling me to shut up.

Straightening out my posture, I held out my hand, “Amber.”

The man smirked and took my hand, but instead of shaking it, he gently kissed my knuckles, “Rafael.”


	68. chapter 67

“Nice to meet you, Rafael,” I replied sweetly.

“Where’s the kid?” Rafael asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You put him to bed already?”

While Christy was drooling over Rafael and Billy was watching him like a hawk, I was chewing the bottom of my lip nervously, intimidated by his presence and uncomfortable with the awkwardness coming off of each and everyone of us that was sitting at the table. Who was this guy and why was he in my house? Why was he holding such an impact over Billy and everybody else? How did he know I was in jail?

Shrugging, I drummed my nails along the edge of the table, “He’s sleeping. I put him down early so when and if he wakes up at two in the morning, he’s not overly cranky.”

God, I’m a good liar. In fact, I’m an amazing liar. I’m just like my fucking mother, a liar. I’ve become everything that I told myself I’d never be. I’ve become my mother. 

Life needs to do an immediate 360… I can’t be like this. 

Rafael nodded slowly, “Makes sense.”

“So what do you do?” Christy interrupted, either sensing the awkward tension between him and I, or she just was genuinely interested in him.

Rafael turned his head to look at Christy and cracked a small smirk, “What don’t I do?”

“Why don’t you tell him what your ol’ ass boyfriend Hank does?” Julia suggested with a snide smile.

Christy shot her a glare, Megan nudged her in the ribs and I closed my eyes and sighed in irritation.

“What boyfriend?” Billy asked, shooting his head up and over to Christy.

“He’s not really my boyfriend, he’s just… uh…-”

“Anyone need another beer?” Jack asked trying to change the subject.

“Sure, I’ll have one, bud,” Rafael answered Jack.

“Billy…” I started.

“He hasn’t even been dead for a fuckin’ year and you’re already out fuckin’ around?” Billy hissed between gritted teeth, seething with anger.  
“Billy stop…” I warned.

“Yo, Billy,” Bodie jumped in, trying to distract him to calm him down.

“I didn’t, I mean… I uh,” Christy stuttered.

“Shit… did I say the wrong thing?” Julia whispered to Jamie who was sitting there with his chin in one of his hands and shaking his head slightly.

Billy chuckled evilly, “Typical fuckin’ junkie whore”

“Woah,” Rafael drawled, lifting his brows in surprise as Jack handed him a beer.

“Billy fucking stop,” I demanded.

“I’m sorry, I loved him too-” Christy tried to say but was cut off.

“Oh I bet you fuckin’ did, all the drugs your little-”

Pushing my chair out, I stood up, “ENOUGH!”

Everyone except for Billy, glanced up at me taken back by my sudden outburst. My chest was heaving in and out. I could hear Shaun begin to cry upstairs causing me to sigh in aggravation. I ran my fingers through my hair and threw my hands up in disbelief.

“We’re getting married on saturday,” I announced, glancing down at Billy who was still staring a hole right through Christy.

“Yeah you are!” Spink exclaimed, “Saturday at 1, we set it up,”

“I see everyone already knows…” I mumbled, clicking my jaw to the side.

“Except for me,” Rafael announced, holding up his beer, “Congratu-fuckin’-lations”

“Thank you,” I breathed, giving him a weak smile, “Now… can everyone fucking get along for once?! Hate it or love it, but we’ve lost a lot of people - family, friends - we are all each other got. So fuckin’ deal with it. Eat, drink, get fucked up and have a good time, but for fuck sakes, no more fighting.”

"We're family..." I breathed in a calmer tone.

“Mom has spoken,” Megan taunted, winking at me.

I giggled, “Yes, she fuckin’ has. Now do it!”

As soon as I sat back down, Billy leaned over and pressed his lips against my ear, sending chills up my spine, “That’s my girl.”

“Looks like I might just be cut out to be with you, after all.” I whispered, running my hand up his thigh under the table. Billy caught my hand in his, stopping me from going any further. I giggled, “Question is, do you have what it takes Mr. Darley?”

“Keep doing that shit and I’m gonna fuck you in the bathroom,” He whispered in my ear.

Rafael cleared his throat, gaining our attention, “Your kid is still bawling up there,”

“I’ll go deal with him,” Billy said flatly.

I cocked an eyebrow up, “Uh… that’s okay, I’ll do-”

“I can do it,” He cut me off sharply, “He’s my kid too.”

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek, “Uh… okay, if you need me just yell,”

With that, Billy left the table and headed upstairs, leaving the rest of us to eat our dinner and drink and laugh. Surprisingly, Rafael didn’t seem all that cocky and bad once you started to get to know him. I still didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, but he wasn’t bad to be around.

Rafael was attractive, tall and built. His hair was a chocolate brown, long on the top and shaved on the sides, an ‘undercut’ is what they call it. His beard matched his hair colour, and was neatly trimmed to perfection. His amber coloured eyes twinkled whenever he’d chuckle, drawing in more attention to himself. Attractive couldn’t even begin to describe him.

But while he was attractive, he was dangerous. There was something about his cockiness that told me he was dangerous enough that he was entitled to be as cocky and carefree as he was. There had to be something, considering how timid Billy was around this guy. Billy is the alpha dog, nobody intimidates the leader… and the only person whoever has - Bones - isn’t here anymore to do so, thanks to Billy.

Power and money seeped from Rafael. He’s important, that I know, he’s dangerous, that I know. Billy is dangerous, more dangerous than ANYONE. Why is this man who can create tension in Billy’s life, around? What has Billy gotten himself into?

Image

“I am drunk… as fuck,” Julia announced with a giggle. “I gotta hand it to you Darley’s or… Darley and soon to be Darley, you guys can throw a shindig,”

“Wait until Saturday night,” Jamie chuckled, “We’re gonna get fucked up.”

“Fuck yeah we are, Billy and Amber’s wedding!” Spink joined in, throwing back his beer.

“I can’t,” I winced, “Shaun-”

“Nah don’t you worry about Shaun, girl. I got my momma comin’ here saturday night to keep an eye on him,” Bodie said with a smile. “Before you get that look on ya face, my momma’s a careworker for autistic people, she know’s what she’s doin, she ain’t like me if that’s what ya worried about,”

“She’s like his sister, Detective Wallis.” Billy finished for Bodie, knowing that I knew exactly who he was referring to.

I gulped and nodded, “Are you sure she’s okay with that?”

“Yeah, she raised all of our asses pretty much,” Billy replied.

“She was that momma bear around the block, feeding us gang of pricks and making sure we had a place to crash when shit got rough at home,” Jamie explained.

“She’s good shit, Amber,” Spink assured me.

“Okay…” I breathed, accepting defeat.

“Mind if I bring a friend?” Rafael asked, staring over at Billy, who nodded slowly, “Just my brother,”

“The more the merrier,” Christy smiled.

“Well, then I’ll see you all on saturday.” Rafael smirked, getting up and motioning Billy to follow him over to the door.

Everyone was either busy helping Megan and I clean up or talking as they got ready to leave, making it hard for me to listen in on what Rafael was telling Billy. I frowned in annoyance and continued clearing the dirty dishes from the table.

Eventually the house was clean and everyone had left except Christy. Billy stayed inside with Chop and Shaun while Christy and I sat out on the steps, smoking cigarettes and talking as we waited for “Hank” to pick her up.

“I’m sorry about earlier, he was out of line,” I said softly, exhaling smoke through my nose.

Christy flicked the ashes from her cigarette down onto the ground, “He’s right though, I’m a mess.”

“Are you back on drugs?” I asked directly getting to the point, looking down at my feet to avoid awkward eye contact.

Christy let out a deep sigh, “Just cocaine.”

“How often?”

“Often enough,”

“You’re not gonna quit are you?”

Christy shrugged, “I will. It’s just a party thing I do,”

“Maybe it’s time to quit partying so much?” I suggested before taking another drag off of my cigarette.

“Maybe,” She mumbled.

“Things are sure different hey?” I chuckled in disbelief, trying to lighten up the conversation.

“Yeah,” Christy laughed faintly, “Things can change at the blink of an eye,”

“I’m a mom… I’m getting married…” I whispered, trying to take in the surreal feeling.

“I wish I could be in your shoes, even with all the shit that you deal with,” Christy laughed, her smile quickly fading from her face as she stared up at the night sky.

“What? A mom?” I asked cocking an eyebrow.

Christy nodded and her smile started to reappear, “Believe it or not, yes.”

“You hate kids…” I reminded her.

“Cause most of them are little fuckers.... But that doesn’t mean that someday I don’t want kids,” She corrected me.

“That’s something I never thought I’d hear coming from your mouth,” I snorted.

Christy rolled her eyes and slightly shoved me with her shoulder, “Don’t be an asshole, If you can do it, I can do it.”  
“Oh, I know you can… but how are you gonna do that with Billy Bob Thornton over there pulling up?” I snickered, nodding towards the car that just pulled into my driveway.

“He does not!” Christy gasped, realizing that I was referring to Hank looking identical to the famous actor.

I giggled, “Yes he fuckin’ does. Looks just like him, probably just as old too!”

“Don’t be an asshole!” Christy laughed, “But fuck… you’re right.”

“Go, hurry before grandpa’s viagra wears off,” I teased.

“I’m gonna punch you!” Christy fake threatened, standing up and throwing her purse over her shoulder, “Come meet him!”

I clicked my jaw to the side and followed behind her down the driveway, “Your wish is my greatest command,”

“Shut up,” She giggled in a hushed whisper.

Hank rolled down the passenger side window and looked me up and down, a sly smirk appearing on his face, “Well hi.”

“Hey, I’m Amber,” I introduced myself in the friendliest tone that I possibly could.

“Nice to meet you, Amber.” He replied as Christy climbed into his car.

“Stop by tomorrow with Shaun?” She asked hopefully.

I nodded, “Sure, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Not too early…” She groaned, knowing that I’m an early bird.

“I know, I know,” I assured her as I leaned down to eye level, “Get home safe, and it was nice to finally meet you, Hank.”

He smirked, looking completely and utterly identical to Billy-Bob, “Likewise.”

A warm smile remained on my face as I waved the two of them off. I waited until Hank’s car was no longer in sight before slowly making my way back into the house. The aroma of the house was a mix of candles that Julia had lit and the cleaner that was used to clean up in the kitchen. It reminded me of my parents home.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Shaun cooing wide awake and noticed that there was light shining from inside of his bedroom. Slowly I made my way up the stairs and stopped at Shaun’s door, slightly pushing it open unnoticed.

“Ya mom is usually the one that tell’s ya shit to get you back to sleep huh?” Billy asked as he carefully scooped Shaun up in his arms and exhaled a deep sigh. Shaun buried his face into the crook of his father’s neck, “I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, kiddo.”

Shaun cooed and I smiled as Billy paced around the room.

“Wanna hear a quote?” Billy asked, “It’s ya daddy’s favorite quote. People have it in their minds that Al Pacino said it, but he didn’t. It’s a quote that some guy named Emo Phillips said,” Billy started.

Shaun yawned but lifted his head and stared at me from over Billy’s shoulder. I smiled and waved at my beautiful son, who now was jamming his fist in my toothless mouth.

“When I was a kid, I use to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole the bicycle and I prayed for God to forgive me,” Billy quoted, pulling a now sleeping Shaun away from his shoulder and carefully setting him back down in his crib.

“Sounds like you,” I said, finally letting it be known that I was there.

Billy sniffed and rubbed his nose quickly, “It does,”

I could tell that he was slightly embarrassed that I had just walked in how him being a dad and not a ruthless gang leader. Little did he know that I found him to be the most perfect and impressive at this very moment than I ever have before.

“You’re doing fine,” I assured him as we left Shaun’s bedroom.

“Yeah?” He asked as we made our way into our own room.

“Mhm,” I replied, slowly pulling my shirt up over my head. “Billy?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the one thing you didn’t expect to ever become in your life?”

“A father,” He laughed cynically, sitting down on the end of the bed and pulling me toward him by my hips.

I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, “You’re a good father,”  
Billy’s mouth went to my jaw line where he placed a few soft kisses, ignoring my compliment. His lips eventually moved from my jaw over to my ear lobe, where he nipped at it with his teeth, driving me wild.

His rough hands ran up my sides and up along my back where they unclasped my bra and moved to my breasts as my bra slid down my arms. Billy’s lips met mine and before I knew it, he had fell back on the bed and rolled us over so that I was underneath of him. His mouth trailed from my own, down my neck and to my bare breasts. His teeth nipped at the skin above my nipple, causing me to gasp. He chuckled against my skin at my reaction and began to suck at the spot where he had just bit.

But before we could continue, the sound of a cough followed by a loud piercing cry echoed throughout the house. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned.

“Right now Shaun?” I whimpered, “Really?!”

“Fuck…” Billy muttered under his breath as he climbed off of me and tossed me one of his t-shirts.

“Looks like your little quote didn’t work,” I grumbled as I pulled the shirt on over my head.

“I already tried, it’s your turn,” Billy smirked, knowing that I was gonna be awake with Shaun for probably an hour or so while he gets to sleep peacefully.

I rolled my eyes, “It’s your turn,” I mimicked in a whiny exaggerated tone.

Just as I was about to leave the room, Billy gently grabbed me by my wrist and spun me around to face him, “You know I love you right?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I do.”

He let go of my wrist and nodded slowly, “Good.”

“Billy… is everything okay? How do you know Rafael-” I tried to ask.

“Everything’s good, alright?” He cut me off.

I sighed, “...Okay.”

“Just… I love ya,”

I smiled faintly, “I love you too.”

Something just didn’t feel right…


	69. chapter 68

At last, Shaun had finally fell asleep and stayed asleep for the rest of the night. When I had finally got back to my bedroom, Billy was sound asleep and I was instantly disappointed that I wasn’t going to be having any sex tonight. Usually it’s the guy who gets frustrated when they return to the bedroom and their woman is asleep… but this isn’t the case.

Suddenly, I was abruptly awoken from my slumber. Gasping, I shot up in bed and panted hectically. When I finally managed to catch my breath and gather my thoughts, I ran my fingers through my messy hair and glanced over at Billy who was stirring in his sleep. Cocking an eyebrow, I placed my hand over one of his, only to have it swatted away.

“Babe?” I whispered softly as he continued to stir in his sleep, “Babe wake up, you’re having a nightmare”.

His head jolted from side to side and he mumbled something under his breath that I was unable to make out due to how deep his voice is. Frowning, I laid back down and scooted over to Billy, wrapping an arm around his waist. My frown grew bolder as I glanced up at Billy, his body was trembling as whatever he was dreaming about, that was making him like this, grew worse.

“Billy wake-” I started, getting cut short by his elbow slamming me in the face.

“MOTHER FUCKER!” I shouted, sitting up in bed and holding my right eye.

Billy shook his head and grunted, sitting up, “W-what?”

“You fucking elbowed me in the face!” I hollered, pulling my hand away and pointing at my watery eye.

“Fuck!” Billy exclaimed, “How the fuck did I do that?”

Wincing, I felt around the swelling area, “You were dreaming…” I sighed, “It’s not your fault.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, taking me by surprise. He lifted my chin with two fingers and looked over my face, “Ya gonna have a fuckin’ nasty shiner”

“Great, nothing like getting married tomorrow looking like you beat the shit out of me!” I laughed cynically.

“You’re good at makeup, use that,” He suggested dully, kicking his legs out from under the covers and sitting on the side of the bed, running his hand over his shaved head.

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah… hey are you okay?”

Billy glanced back at me from over his shoulder and nodded, “Yeah.”  
“Are you leaving?” I asked as Billy stood up and slipped on his jeans, disappointment spreading across my face.

Billy frowned as he noticed my expression. He leaned forward and placed a hand on the back of my neck and kissed my forehead before resting his forehead against my own, the infamous Darley way of showing affection, “I love you.”

Image

“Are you sure you can handle this?” I asked anxiously, watching as Julia plopped down on her couch and began to pat Shaun’s back.

Julia rolled her eyes, “I’m practically a nurse, beleive me when I say that I’ve spent more time with babies than you have,”

Sighing in relief, I nodded slowly, “True…”

“Quit worrying and go get yourself something nice to wear for… your wedding,” She paused before finishing her sentence, causing an uneasy feeling throughout the room.

“Still not thrilled about it, huh?” I questioned, failing to hold back a smirk.

Julia shrugged, “I’m not exactly thrilled with the fact that you’re getting married to a criminal, but-”

“-ex criminal.” I corrected.

Julia sighed in annoyance, “Whatever. You know what I mean… but like I said before, I’ll support whatever you decide.”

“Thank you,”

“Mhm…”

“No, I mean it. Thank you… I’m glad you do,”

“Are you going to go or are you going to stand at my patio door letting all the rain in?” She asked, ushering me out.

“I’m going, I’m going,” I mumbled, waving goodbye to Shaun as if he was just going to wave back at me, “Just call if you need-”

“Go!” She growled.

With the heavy rainfall that Boston was experiencing, came heavy wind with it. Normally, I’d enjoy a cigarette while waiting impatiently for Christy and Megan to meet me at the mall as planned, but I didn’t want cigarette ash flying back at me no more than I wanted to fight trying to blow cigarette out of my SUV’s window. Instead, I pulled down the visor and examined the growing bruise under my right eye.

“Well, it could be worse,” I smiled. A laugh formulated into a giggle as I realized what I was doing. I ran a hand over my face and blushed slightly, “Great… now I’m talking to myself.”

You look like someone punched you out… well, kinda

Groaning, I closed the visor and leaned back in my seat. Where were they? They’re forty minutes late, which surprisingly, isn’t like either of them. I’ve spent the past half hour repeatedly calling both of their phones.

“Great,” I breathed, “They’re fucking ditching me or asleep.”

I gave it another ten minutes of waiting and calling them back to back until I finally gave up and started the suv and drove to Christy’s apartment. I assumed they were both hungover and sleeping in, so I stopped and grabbed them breakfast before going to Christy’s.

When I arrived, I parked alongside the curb and waited a few minutes before calling both of them again. Growing frustrated and tired of waiting, I cut the engine and got out. The rain saturated my hair almost instantly. Clicking my jaw to the side, I slammed the door shut before locking the SUV and making my way up to the main doors of Christy’s apartment building.

Music was blasted from inside of Christy and Megan’s apartment, telling me that they were both home. I knocked three times and called both of their names, waiting patiently. Finally, I had enough and just let myself in. Christy had failed to collect her apartment key from me when I moved out.

Luckily for me, holding onto this key has come in handy.

“Christy?” I winced as I stepped inside of the apartment.

"Let's Work Together" by Wilbert Harrison— better known as 'Canned Heat'— echoed throughout the apartment.

I recognized the song from Forrest Gump. Christy wasn't into the whole Vietnam era/60's rock, so I knew that Hank had to of been here and was the culprit for the music. Not that I was complaining, I grew up on 60's-70's rock and I love it... but cranked so loud that you can't even hear your phone go off? AND in the middle of the day? No.

“Meg? Hello-”

A gasp escaped my mouth as I opened Christy’s bedroom door and saw the three of them naked, high, and drunk. Hank was plowing Megan - who was eating out Christy - who was leaned forward, snorting rails of cocaine off of the bedside table.

“What the fuck!” I exclaimed, shoving the door wide open with such force that the doorknob slammed into the wall.

“Aye! You fuckin’ broke my-” Christy paused to moan, “my wall”

“I’m gonna break your fucking face in a second, stop!” I hissed, striding across the room and shoving her off of Megan’s face.

Hank chuckled - cheeks slightly flush from being caught - as he rolled off of Megan and pulled his jeans back on. Megan just stayed lying there, blinking absentmindedly before rolling off of the bed and onto the floor. She snorted in laughter as she crawled over to where her pack of cigarettes had been thrown when they were busy stripping each other.

“What is she on?” I growled at Christy.

Christy rolled her eyes and stared down at Megan who was fidgeting with the cigarette that was now between her fingers, “Just cocaine… and she’s pretty drunk,”

“That’s an understatement,” Hank chuckled, raising his brows.

I shot him a glare, “You were just balls deep inside of a taken woman!”

“Shut up,” Megan grumbled obnoxiously.

“You shut the fuck up, where’s Jack? What if he would have walked in instead of me?” I retorted.

“Easy mom,” Christy giggled, mocking me.

“Do you guys realize that you were suppose to meet me at the mall an hour ago?” I asked, ignoring her comment.

“Ah shit…” Christy sighed, holding her head, “What time is it?”

“It’s noon,” I answered followed by a sigh, “I brought you guys breakfast....”

“...All of you,” I added, shifting my eyes over at Hank.

“Well where the fuck is it?” Megan asked snidely.

“On the coffee table,” I replied, choosing to ignore her attitude.

“You mean my cocaine table?” Christy snorted, causing Hank to bust out laughing.

“What?” I hissed in annoyance, squinting my eyes into a glare.

Christy was chuckling and staring at Hank as she answered me, “When the fuck do I ever sit there having coffee?”

Everyone busted out into laughter and I just shook my head, turning to leave. Clearly they didn’t take tomorrow seriously and I was stupid for trusting that they’d be up this early to come help me find something nice to wear for my own shotgun wedding.

The laughter came to a sudden halt as Megan began to sob uncontrollably. She yanked the sheet off of the bed and wrapped it around herself. Frowning, I knelt down beside her and rested my hand on her shoulder, brushing it with my thumb.

“I’m not in love with Jack anymore…” She admitted clearly, sniffling a few times.

“Yes you are…” I sighed, “You’re just high and feeling guilty for having a 3some.”

“No,” She shot back sternly, “I just don’t anymore…. I knew what I was doing and wanting to do before this even happened…. We’re done.”

Christy clicked her jaw to the side, “Look… I hope you don’t think just because we dyked out that I-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Megan growled.

“I’m… I’m gonna go,” Hank laughed nervously. I nodded at him, acknowledging him, “I’ll call you later Christy. Megan, it was nice meeting you… and uh… sorry?”

“Just go…” I sighed, nodding at the door.

Hank turned to leave but froze in place as he stood face to face to an appalled looking Jack. My head shot up and stared at Jack. His mouth was hanging agape and his eyes were scanning around the room, slowly processing what he was witnessing as he glanced around.

“You fuckin’ kidding me Megan?” He finally said something.

“Jack…” Megan sighed, slowly standing up, “I didn’t mean to do this… but you knew this was coming-”

“So you fuck your friends and some old fuck?!” He exclaimed.

“Hey…” Hank grumbled.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jack shouted at him, getting in his face.

“Not Amber… She just showed up,” Megan trailed off dully, not caring that a fight could break out at any moment.

“Jack… don’t,” I said softly, standing up and jumping in between the two of them, “And you! Go!”

Hank rolled his eyes, taking his leave, glaring at Jack before leaving. Jack brushed past me and shook his head in disgust, “Coulda just fuckin’ told me instead of fuckin’ around,” He then stormed out of the room, leaving the three of us there in awkward silence.

“Jack…” Megan called out after him, slowly got up to her feet and tightened the sheet around her before leaving to go follow Jack.

“Well, that was fuckin’ awkward,” Christy laughed, as she slipped a white wife beater and a pair of black sweat pants on.

“Actually it wasn’t awkward, it was wrong…” I stated as I followed Christy out into the livingroom.

She plopped down on the couch and opened the bag of take out, staring down at her egg mcmuffin in disgust. She tossed it back into the bag and lit a cigarette instead.

Megan and Jack were arguing in their bedroom as Jack started to pack his shit.

“What are you doing? Seriously?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief as Christy rolled up a bill.

“Cocaine?” She questioned in a smart ass tone.

“Of course you are! Do you not fucking care that Jack and Megan are breaking up?!” I shouted.

Christy sniffled as she sat the rolled up bill she was using to snort her coke with, on the coffee table. She shrugged as she stared at the white powdered lines along the table, “Not my fuckin’ problem.”

My teeth gritted as I stormed over to the coffee table and wiped the coke off with my sleeve. Christy gasped as she jumped up to her feet, getting in my face. "What the fuck are you doing?!" She roared.

“Christy…” I started, brushing my hair back, “Get the fuck out of my face…”

“You going to fucking pay for that?!” She screamed, pointing down at the cocaine all over the carpet.

"You wanna do cocaine? Fine. Do your fucking coke if that's all you care about. But don't be so fucking selfish to do it right when our friend is going through a breakup!” I spat.

“Because…” She started, shoving me back slightly with each word as she spoke, “It’s. Not. My. Fucking. Problem.”

“You’re a fucking coke head,” I spat, becoming to angry to realize what I was saying.

“Oh good one, mommy. You’re a fucking pussy who hides behind her gang lord fuckin’ boyfriend. Nice shiner, Amb. Did Billy finally pull a Shane and hit you?” Christy whimpered in a mocking girly tone, shoving me roughly.

“Fuck you!” I hissed between gritted teeth, shoving her back roughly causing her ankles to hit the couch and make her fall backwards.

Megan hollered from her room for Christy and I to shut up so that she could talk as Christy landed near the couch. When Megan heard the thud, she stormed out of her bedroom and asked what the hell was going on.

Before I could answer, Christy jumped up and swung at me, hitting me right in the jaw. Both Jack and Megan’s eyes widened as I curled my fist into a ball and punched Christy right back in the face.

We stumbled around as we both continued to swing at one another. Everything was happening so fast that before I could process it, we were both on the ground, still throwing punches. A groan escaped my mouth as Christy punched my already bruised eye, but I didn’t stop. Instead, we continued to roll around, hitting each other as hard as we possibly could.

Despite popular belief, and how snarky Christy is, I’m a lot tougher than her so I had the upperhand in this fight and given the fact that she’s higher than a fucking kite, and I’m already enraged… I definitely had the upperhand.

“UGH!” She growled as I finally managed to flip her over and hold her down as I fed her a few shots to the side of the head.

Jack ran over to me and wrapped his arms around my torso and literally lifted me off of Christy while Megan ran over to Christy, helping her up to her feet and holding her back from running at me.

“Fuck this!” I shouted, ripping myself away from Jack.

“Good, fuck off and die!” Christy barked.

I stormed over to the door and slipped my shoes on, rolling my eyes in annoyance as Jack followed me out of the apartment, bag over his shoulder.

“Why are you following me?” I hissed as he slammed the apartment door shut behind him.

“Just making sure you’re okay,” He answered, holding the glass doors open for me and waiting for me to step outside.

I cocked an eyebrow up at him as we made our way over to my SUV, “Are YOU okay?”

Jack shrugged, “Knew it was comin’, didn’t expect her to fuckin’ cheat on the way out,”

“Maybe you guys will work through this…” I winced.

“Nah, we’re fuckin’ done.” Jack said firmly.

“Well,” I huffed, “If it makes you feel better… so are Christy and I.”

Jack smirked as I climbed into the drivers seat and shut the door behind me. He rested one arm on the top of my vehicle as he glanced down at me, “No you ain’t.”

I frowned as I rolled down the window, “We just beat the fuck out each other…”

“Is it bad that I’m glad you did?” He laughed faintly as I made a face. He sighed, “Nah… you guys will be okay… eventually.”

“Maybe…” I chewed the inside of my bottom lip in deep thought before turning to look at Jack again, “Just sucks it happened before I’m suppose to get hitched…”

“You nervous?” he asked, referring to getting married to Billy.  
I shrugged, “Not really... “

Jack nodded, “Well that’s good.”

“Do you need a ride?” I asked, changing the subject.

Jack shook his head, “No… need some air. This walk will be good,”

“It’s pouring out…” I stated, glancing up at the heavy rain falling down.

Jack shrugged, “Guess that’s what I get for selling my junker.”

“I don’t mind giving you a ride…” I said softly, “Where are you even going? I need time to cool off too before going to get Shaun from Julia’s so…”

“Julia, huh?” Jack laughed.

I rolled my eyes and groaned, “Boy is she gonna fuckin’ love to hear this…”

“I’m gonna go see if I can crash at Jamie’s,” Jack answered. “I’ll be fine,” He assured me.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, I’ll be fine.” He reassured me.

Frowning, I accepted it and said goodbye to Jack. I didn’t bother to start the SUV until Jack was out of sight. I lit a cigarette and drove away, happy to be away from all of the commotion that today had brought. Julia still hadn’t called as I drove around, which told me that Christy hadn’t called her yet.

“He’s here…” I sighed, pulling up next to Billy’s car and getting out.

Bones’ pitbull’s that he had left behind were barking as I approached, jumping and fighting to break free from their chain leashes. I frowned and reluctantly pulled my hood down, revealing my face to settle the dogs down. Between a bruised face, bloody lip and saturated hair… I bet I looked real fuckin’ cute.

The mechanics had already left for the day and none of Billy’s boys were in sight. Billy sat at Bones desk, staring down at some papers and oblivious to my presence. I cleared my throat and smiled as he stared up at me.

“Hey,” I smiled awkwardly.

“What the fuck happened?” Billy asked, standing up and inspecting my lip.

Holding up my right hand, I revealed my bloody and swollen knuckles, “Had a falling out with Christy.”

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, ready to say something but was cut off by me crashing my lips over his. He wasted no time kissing me back, hungrily. His one hand snaked it’s way into my damp hair, slightly pulling my head back to expose my neck. My mouth fell agape as his facial hair tickled against my neck as he began to graze his teeth along the most tender spot.

Our mouths met again and I placed my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as Billy led me over to the desk. My heart raced in anticipation as he lifted me off of my feet and placed me down on the desk.

“Right here?” I breathed, breaking the kiss to speak.

Billy smirked slyly, “Right here.”


	70. chapter 69

The anticipation was killing me. His hot breath against the skin on my neck, his rough calloused fingertips trailing up my sides, bringing my shirt up. I shivered as he removed my shirt and carelessly tossed it onto the dirty shop floor.

Our mouths met yet once again and his tongue slipped inside of my mouth. I moaned into the kiss as Billy pulled me against him, his growing erection against my inner thigh. A shiver ran down my spine as he unclasped my bra, letting it slide down my damp arms. Breaking the kiss to catch my breath, I immediately ran my hand over the front of his jeans.

Billy grunted before biting down against the pulse in my neck, causing me to whimper out in pain/pleasure. My legs trembled as his mouth found it’s way to my earlobe, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin. He chuckled into my ear as I gasped and grabbed at his erection from outside of his jeans.

“Just wait, baby,” His husky voice instructed as he wrapped his hands around my wrists, “Wait”

I rolled my eyes and bit my bottom lip, making eye contact with his piercing blue eyes. For a minute, it almost felt like his eyes were trying to tell me something that he couldn’t bring himself to say. A part of me wanted to say something because I could sense something was off - perhaps even wrong - yet, I remained quiet, knowing that he’d never tell me anyway.

“Billy…” I whispered.

Of course, he ignored me and responded by wrapping his left arm around me and pulling me flush against his chest again. His free arm cleared everything off of the desk in one quick motion.

Impressive…

“You’re mine,” He stated out of the blue, pressing his forehead against mine.

I cocked an eyebrow up, “We’re getting married… obviously-”

“You’re mine,” He said again, this time in a firmer tone, almost like he was getting angry.

“What’s wrong-”

He didn’t respond, instead he carefully shoved me down on my back and hovered over me. His hand caressed my cheek before making its way along my jaw and neck, pausing at my collarbone before trailing down between my breasts and all the way down to my pants. It only took him a few moments to remove them and pull his own shirt off over his head. His cross necklace dangled against his chest, catching my attention for a short moment.

Our eyes locked on one another as he placed one hand down on the desk next to my head. He lowered his face to my ear, his facial hair tickling me yet once again.

“I’ll always come back to you,”

“What’s going on, Billy?” I asked, trying to sit up, only to be shoved back down before I even had the chance.

His mouth found it’s way back to my neck, nipping and sucking at my skin. Eventually his mouth worked its way down between my breasts, sucking on the side of my left breast hard and rough enough that I knew it was going to leave a bruise - hickey - mark of some sort. My cries of pleasure only made him go further, his mouth covered over my nipple, surprisingly sucking gently instead of biting. I arched my back and ran my hand over his head and along his broad shoulders, digging my nails into his flesh, surely enough to leave claw marks.

His right hand ran over the front of my g-string, caressing the already damp material. I could feel him smirk against my breast as he pulled it down my legs. My breath hitched in my throat as he slipped two fingers inside of me and used his thumb to rub my clit in a circular motion.

“Who do you belong to?” He asked.

“W-wh-”

“Who do you belong to?” He repeated his question, punishing me for not answering correctly, by removing his fingers from me.

I whimpered, wanting him to touch me again, “You.”

“Yeah?” He asked, as he pulled his belt off and undid his jeans.

“Yes,” I whimpered, reaching for him, only to have my hand pushed away.

“Billy…”

“Whose pussy is this?” He asked abruptly, making me taken back slightly as he’s never spoke to me in that way before. It was almost degrading, if I wasn’t already so turned on I probably would get mad for the way he’s talking to me, like I’m some sort of Four Roses trash he use to fuck.

“What the fuck, Billy?” I asked between squinted eyes.

He ran the head of his cock against me, causing me to moan and crave him even more, “Answer me.”

“Yours!” I yelled in defeat.

“That’s my girl,” He breathed, pulling me up and putting me flat on my feet.

Before I could register what was happening, he spun me around and bent me over the desk, tangling his hand into my hair. A surprised gasp escaped my mouth as he entered me roughly before pulling completely out and slamming back inside of me.

“Oh fuck!” I cried out as his pace picked up, still slamming in and out of me.

I tried to prop myself up on my arms, but Billy gently latched on to the back of my neck, holding me down against the desk, preventing me from moving. Gritting my teeth, I glanced back up at him in admiration.

He was fucking me like he was never going to see me again… literally.

My inner walls tightened around his shaft, only provoking him to pick up his pace. I couldn’t help but continue to cry out. I was loving every second of it.

“B-Billy!” I whimpered out as my orgasm came abruptly, taking me by surprise.

He responded by snaking his free hand in between my legs, making me cry out even more. My knees buckled and I almost collapsed if it weren’t for Billy holding me down, I probably would have.

Luckily for me, Billy’s climax came soon after mine. He let go of the back of my neck and pulled his hand from in between my legs to grab onto my hips and slam me back against him as he came… inside of me… unprotected.

My eyes widened as he pulled out of me and turned to pull his jeans up and put his belt back on. Naked and exposed, I awkwardly pushed myself up and carefully stood tall, wincing as my knees adjusted to my weight. Billy already had his jeans back on by the time I turned to look at him.

“Is everything okay?” I asked as he handed me my clothes.

He replied with a muffled, “Mhm” as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit the end.

“You came inside of me…” I stated awkwardly.

Billy shrugged and plopped down on the spinny chair, cigarette dangling between his lips as he ran his hand over his freshly shaven head.

“...Billy”

“What?” He hissed, clearly becoming annoyed.

“What do you mean what?! What if I get pregnant?”

“Then ya get pregnant? Fuck ya want me to tell ya?” He snapped, ripping the cigarette from his mouth and flicking the ashes off the end of his cigarette down onto the cement floor.

I cleared my throat before clicking my jaw to the side, “Are you sure everything's okay?”

“How many times are ya gonna ask me that? You sound like a fuckin’ broken record,”

“What is your fucking problem, Billy?” I growled, slipping my pants on.

“Nothing! So fucking drop it, alright?” He barked.

A sting pricked the inside of my chest as he snapped at me. He was doing it again - keeping me in the fucking dark and taking it out on me.

“You’re a fucking asshole, I’m sick of this shit…” I grumbled, slipping my shirt back on over my head and pulling it down. “Fuck today-”

I turned to storm off and leave, but Billy jolted up, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me down into his lap back in the chair. I sighed in annoyance as he exhaled a cloud of smoke next to the side of my face.

“You and the kid are all I got fuckin’ left,” He stated. I turned my head to look at him, confusion written clear across my face. “I love ya, I’ll do anything to protect ya both.”

I frowned before sighing slowly, “I love you too… don’t keep me in the dark again.”

Billy clicked his jaw to the side before taking another drag off of his smoke. I followed his eyes, watching as they scanned over my bruised, bloody knuckles. I frowned as he glanced up at the bruise around my eye and the cut on my lip.

“You fuck her up?”

I nodded, not proud of doing what I did to my best friend.

“Good,” he grumbled, exhaling smoke as he spoke.

“Not good. I hit my best friend, Megan left Jack, Julia is babysitting our son and has no idea what went down. I don’t even know if anyone is coming to celebrate our… ya know… wedding.” I murmured.

“Fuck em,” Billy replied dully.

“Billy… I look like someone kicked the fuck out of me.”

“Still beautiful,”

“Was that a compliment from the not so charming Billy Darley?” I teased, kissing his jaw.

“You bet it was, baby.” He huffed.

I rolled my eyes and kissed him again, “I need to go and get Shaun,”

“You get your dress or whatever?” He asked, ignoring what I just said.

I frowned, “No.”

“Why?” He asked, not really caring, just trying to make conversation with me… which I appreciated.

“Well… because I had no one to go with me, since… you know… Christy and I beat the fuck out of each other,”

Billy carelessly flicked his cigarette across the room and leaned his head back as he exhaled the last cloud of smoke.

“Let’s go.”

“What?” I asked, unsure of what he was meaning.

“I’ll take ya,”

“....You…” I giggled, “You’re gonna come with me to the mall of all places to buy something to wear to the court house?”

Billy sighed in annoyance, “Yes.”

“Really?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Ya fuckin’ want me to come or not?”

I rolled my eyes before glaring at him, “Not if you’re gonna be bitchy.”

“Bitchy?” Billy chuckled, “I ain't fuckin’ bitchy.”

“Yes you are,” I retorted.

Billy clicked his jaw to the side and closed his eyes as he sighed in annoyance. A smirk formed at the corners of my mouth. He knew that I was purposely annoying him. He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek for a moment before standing tall, lifting me up with him.

“Cmon,”

“Really? We’re actually gonna go?” I squealed in excitement.

“It’s important to ya,”

“Well… since it’s not a wedding dress… yeah, a nice outfit of some sort is important to me,”

“Figured,” He replied, placing another cigarette between his lips after pulling his shirt back on over his head.

“You smoke a lot…”

“You talk a lot,” Billy sniffed and rubbed his nose quickly.

I shrugged and followed behind him out into the rain, “But clearly you don’t mind that about me, or you wouldn’t be marrying me.”

Billy unlocked his car, “You’re a pain in the ass, but I love ya,”

I pursed my lips as he climbed into his car, “Thanks? I guess?”


	71. chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! I've finally copied and pasted all the chapters up to date onto this site!

“What do you think?” I asked as I opened the change room door and stood in front of Billy, who was leaning against a rack of clothes.

Billy eyed me up and down, causing my cheeks to burn in embarrassment. He nodded slightly in approval, “Isn’t it bad luck for me to see ya in that?”

I frowned, “No… you know, since this is a short black dress and not actually a real wedding dress and all.”

Billy shrugged as I turned around to stare at myself in the mirror, slightly twisting my body to get a good glimpse at how my ass looked in this dress.

Billy pushed himself away from the rack he was leaning on and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. He was being strangely affectionate - which was nice - but weird and not like him at all. Something was up, but whenever I tried to ask him what was wrong, he’d either change the subject or avoid giving me an answer.

“You want this one?” He muttered. I nodded as I stared up at him through the mirror we were both standing in front of. He pulled away from me to pull out his wallet and hand me some cash, “Go pay for it.”

“Well I have to take it off first and put my-”

I was cut short by Billy ripping the price tag off of the dress. I gasped and stared at him like a deer in headlights, “What the fuck?”

“Keep it on,”

“Why?”

“Cause”

“Cause why?”

“Cause I said so,”

“But we’re not getting married until-”

He cracked a smirk, “Ya love me?”

“W-What? Yes? What the-”

“Wanna right now?”

“Right now what? You’re not makin-”

“Can you shut-”

“You shut-”

“Are you two finding everything okay?” A saleswoman asked, interrupting our childish bickering.

I glared at Billy before turning my attention over to the saleswoman, face slightly red from embarrassment. I chuckled nervously, “Yes, we’re fine. I’ll take this one,”

Before I could shut the change room door, Billy was handing the woman both the pricetag and cash for the dress. She looked stunned, but didn’t question his actions. Instead she just went over to the counter to ring up the dress and get his change.

“Really? Can we pretend for just once that we’re normal people?” I hissed as I gathered up my clothes.

Billy shrugged, “We’re far from normal”

____________________________________________

There is no such thing as ‘normal’ when living in Billy Darley’s world. Everyone seems to think that there is some sort of balance between being a normal woman—one who doesn’t see people die on a regular basis— and the woman of a gang leader.

In fact, nothing is normal, not even the little things that actual normal people take for granted everyday. There is no cute lovey dovey texts that I wake up to every morning—I’m lucky to ever receive a text from Billy, letting me know when he will be home or not— there’s not even phone calls, as the only time I’m really allowed to call BIlly is if Shaun needs something, or if we’re in danger.

There is no romantic dates; we do not go out and eat at fancy restaurants together. In fact, if it’s not at the Four Roses, we’re not going anywhere to eat or drink together. We don’t take cute pictures together and post them on social media—we don’t take pictures together at all, in fact. The only photos we have together are ones that Christy or our other friends have taken while drunk— we don’t have social media, we’re not allowed. I mean, I’m allowed, but I’ve long since removed my facebook and such as I choose not to let others have the slightest clue about my life.

The aroma of coffee being brewed and fresh muffins in the morning is absent from our daily lives. There is no “Good morning honey, did you pack my lunch?” as Billy puts on his tie and kisses me on the cheek as I greet him with a plate of bacon and eggs. Instead, it’s a rough yet passionate quick kiss and our foreheads are pressed together for a moment, as if he’s worried it will be the last time he will get to kiss me. He doesn’t put on a tie every morning, instead, he puts a .9mm in the waistband of his jeans on the small of his back.

Our son is growing to grow up struggling to cope with the fact that his father will never be there for him. That’s awful to say, and maybe unfair to say about Billy— but let’s face it, just because he’s there physically, doesn’t mean he’s there mentally. Not that it’s Billy’s fault… he just doesn’t know how to. He was never shown love, he was never shown how to be a proper father. Sure, his childhood and pretty much his whole life, doesn’t excuse him from making better choices as he’s NOT Bones, and the cycle does not have to repeat… but, I just don’t think he knows anything besides this life and to be nobody but Billy Darley.

“Do you either of you have anything to say?” The man who was marrying us asked.

I tilted my head to the side slightly, dumbfounded by his question. The $80 shotgun wedding preacher, rolled his eyes and frowned at our silence.

“Vows… do you have any vows?” He asked again.

Billy cleared his throat and glanced at me, I winced and nodded slightly.

“Billy…”

Billy sniffed, a habit he has before speaking, and leaned in so that his mouth was a few inches away from my ear, “I ain’t good at this shit.”

I chuckled, turning my head so that I could look him in the eyes, “I know, it’s what I love about you.”

“I can’t give ya what ya deserve, but I love you more than you’ll ever know. You and the kid, I’d die for. Ya know how I am, I protect—”

“—What’s yours.” I interrupted, finishing his sentence.

“...Is that all, sir?” The man asked, cocking his eyebrow up at what he had just overheard.

“I’ve never loved someone the way that I love you, Billy. Regardless of all your faults, you are a good man. You are a good father and a good provider,” I started, pausing to clear my throat. I licked my lips and took a deep breath, “I vow to stand beside you through anything, to be strong and to handle whatever life throws at us.”

Billy’s expression softened, and for a minute, I was able to feel what he was feeling. A moment of vulnerability. A moment where I knew exactly what he was feeling; contempt with himself, his life. The moment only lasted for a few seconds before he straightened out his posture and his tough persona appeared again.

I had officially decided to dance with the devil for the rest of my life, and frankly, I would not want it any other way. Afterall, every sinner has a future and every saint has a past.

“For better or for worse.” I promised, gazing into his piercing blue eyes.

Now I was officially married and possibly giving myself my own death sentence, I wasn’t sure...yet. Regardless, I was now a Darley— Billy Darley’s wife — which that alone, made me a bigger target than I already was.

“Fuckin’ guy kept starin’ at ya and death glarin’ me,” Billy said in a muffled tone as he lit his cigarette as we stepped outside.

“Jealous?” I teased, looking away from our marriage certificate and up at him.

“Lookin’ at ya like I’m the one who gave ya that shiner and busted lip,” Billy corrected me.

I giggled, “Oh god, I forgot about that…”

“Bet we just look like we decided to get married after makin’ up from beatin’ each other over a case of beer in the trailer,” Billy muttered, opening the passenger side door of his car for me.

“Despite what you may think you’re capable of doing, Billy… You’d never hurt me,” I stated, climbing inside of the car. Billy didn’t respond, he just shut my door and made his way over to the drivers side. “At least, I don’t think so…”

“Don’t forget who ya just married…” Billy stated shortly, starting his car.

His words stung for a moment. I tried my best to ignore what he had just said, I really did. I’d glance at him every so often, watching as he focused on the road and smoked his cigarette. Eventually, I reached for his pack and his lighter on the dash and lit my own.

Let it go…

“What are you saying?” I asked, failing to hold my composure. Billy glanced over at me as I rolled the window down and violently flicked my ashes off of my cigarette, “Huh? Gonna fuckin’ hit me?”

“What the fuck are ya talkin’ about?” Billy sighed in annoyance.

“Don’t forget who you married.” I mocked him in a deep voice.

“Don’t forget who I am,” Billy said flatly, staring me right in the eyes.

“I’m more than aware who the fuck you are, and what you do, and what you’re capable of. You hit me once and I swear—”

“I’d never fuckin’ hurt you, so cut the dramatic fuckin’ bullshit.” He snapped, raising his voice.

Frowning, I exhaled a cloud of smoke before clearing my throat, “I’m sorry… I’m just… touchy about that subject.”

“Look what I did to that fucker who hurt ya,” Billy reminded me.

“Shane…” I whispered, “I knew you.. I knew you killed him.”

“I didn’t.” Billy replied shortly.

“But you made it happen,”

“Can’t hurt ya anymore, can he?”

I swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my throat, “N-No.”

“And those two fucks of Charlie’s boys who throttled you and that coke whore, Christy.” He sniffed, “Killed them too.”

“...Yeah,” I whispered softly.

“I killed all three of the pricks who shot up the house and nearly killed you while ya pregnant with Shaun,” Billy informed me, his voice low and rugged.

“You protect what’s yours…” I muttered, unsure of what else to say.

I was unaware that he had did that, but somehow I wasn’t surprised.

“Next time it crosses your mind, think about what I’ve done to everyone who’s ever hurt you,” Billy huffed.

“You killed them all…” I stated the obvious, looking away from Billy and looking straight ahead. Bones’ shop was now in view and I could see my SUV in the parking lot.

Billy pulled up beside my suv and cut the engine. He cleared his throat, licked his lips and smirked, “All but one.”

“What?” I asked in confusion.

Billy placed a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me into a quick kiss, “Go get Shaun and I’ll meet ya at home later.”

“Really? We just got married…” I whined.

“I got some shit to take care of, alright?” Billy hissed.

I rolled my eyes, “Fine… whatever. I’ll see you at home.”

I turned in my seat and went to open the door but was suddenly blocked by Billy’s arm. Sighing in annoyance, I turned and faced him, hoping that the tears that were threatening to pour out of my eyes, didn’t actually do so.

“What?” I hissed, my voice cracking.

Billy smirked, “Ya cryin’”

“Fuck off,” I growled, trying to shove his arm out of the way.

“Stop cryin,”

“I just want ONE night with you, we just got married!” I exclaimed, pressing my tongue against my cheek.

“I got one thing to do that I’ve been puttin’ off for awhile, and then I’ll be home and we’ll do whatever ya want,” Billy assured me.

I sniffled, “and what’s that?”

“Just somethin’,” He replied shortly.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed in defeat, “Fine… I want the three of us to go out for dinner.”

Billy clicked his jaw to the side, “Ya can’t make anything at home?”

I narrowed my eyes into a glare, “You said whatever I want…”

“Fine.” He agreed.

“Really?!” I squealed in excitement, never actually been on a ‘date’ with Billy before.

“I won’t be long,” Billy started to say but was interrupted by his phone going off in his pocket.

“Okay, I love you…”

“Love ya too, see ya tonight.”

With that, I got out of his car and made my way over to my own vehicle. I took my time, pretending to be searching for something in my glove box. Billy was talking on his phone, not noticing that I was still there. Bodie, Jamie, and Spink made their way out from the shop and over to get into Billy’s car.

Normally, I wouldn’t think anything of it, but today I had a weird gut feeling that something was going on. Maybe it was just still the excitement from getting married an hour ago, or maybe it was the anxiety that I was now getting from having to explain to Julia and everyone else why Billy and I decided to get married a day earlier without telling anyone. Whatever it was, it was something off.

Your his wife now… this is your life. Don’t ask questions, shut your mouth and accept it… You wanted this.

“You ready to do this?” Bodie asked Billy.

Billy nodded, “Should of done this a long time ago.”

————————————————————————————————

“I can’t fucking believe you didn’t at least text me!” Julia growled in a hushed whisper, trying not to wake Shaun up as she helped me put him in his carseat.

“It was a spur of the moment,” I winced.

“Mhm, sure looks that way.” Julia said, nodding at the dress I was still wearing.

“Yeah… well, my life is full of surprises,” I replied cynically.

Julia huffed, “From all that I’ve heard and learned in such a short amount of time… you are not fuckin’ kidding…”

“Well…” I exhaled a shaky sigh, “I think Saturday night is still on, if you still want to come.”

“Hell yeah, I still want to come.”

“Even if Megan or...Christy… don’t show up?”

Julia shrugged, “Fuck em.”

Nodding, I opened my drivers side door, “Right… fuck em.”

“You alright?”

I gave her a slight nod, “Yeah… I’m okay.”

Julia cocked one of her finely groomed, slender eyebrows up and narrowed her eyes into a suspicious glare, “I can read you like a book, Amber Darley…”

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest and let out an aggravated sigh, “I’m fine, Jules.”

“Hey… this is what you wanted, right?”

I nodded again — something that was becoming a repetitive habit of mine — and gave her a faint smile, “You know it.”

——————————————————————

He hadn’t changed. Anyone who had something to say about his behavior since coming back was wrong. Sure, he was talking about getting out of this lifestyle all together… but he was still the cold-hearted, ruthless, murdering gang leader that he was known as.

Word on the streets in inner-city Boston and around dive bars such as The Four Roses was spreading how Billy hadn’t killed Charlie. In the eyes of the people who feared Billy, and the ones who respected him, that wasn’t right. That just wasn’t how this lifestyle worked. Hence why everyone is saying “Billy’s gone soft”, shit like that.

But they were wrong… boy were they ever fuckin’ wrong.

There was an eerie silence lingering throughout the house, despite the brawl that had just broken out between Billy and Charlie. Bodie, Jamie, and Spink just stood there in silence, watching as both Billy and Charlie stood before one another— panting, trying to catch their breath.

“You’re just like him,” Charlie laughed, scratching the side of his bruised jaw, “A carbon copy of Bones.”

Billy’s jaw tightened as he pulled the gun from his waistband and pointed it at Charlie, “Ya really thought I wouldn’t do this?”

“Thought maybe ya turned a new leaf,” Charlie smirked, “Guess I was wrong.”

Before Billy could even speak, Charlie pulled his own gun out from the band of his pants and fired, missing Billy - barely. Billy gritted his teeth and fired, hitting Charlie in the left kneecap.

Charlie let out a howled cry as he collapsed to his knees.

“That’s for my boys,” Billy breathed.

He fired another shot, shooting Charlie in the stomach, “That’s for nearly getting my kid killed.”

Billy fired a couple more shots, lazy shots, one grazing Charlie’s arm, “That’s for all the shit you B-Street fucks have pulled.”

Blood started to pour out of the corners of Charlie’s mouth.

Billy took a few steps closer to Charlie so that he was standing right in front of him. Charlie stared up at him with dull eyes, unable to speak from the pain that he was in. Billy’s nostrils flared as he put the gun against Charlie’s forehead.

“This one’s for Joey,”


End file.
